Work Text:
Today, James the Lesser saw Jesus kissing Mary before taking her for a walk to the park.
Yesterday, John saw Judas kissing Jesus before having to go fix something about the complaint they filed since the government tried to kill Jesus on the streets or something.
"This can't be right..." Peter said, "AND I'M NOT SAYING IT BECAUSE HE IS GAY, I MEAN THE DATING TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME!"
"Well, I guess he is bisexual then," John said, "Maybe he is... Trying 'both sides'???"
"That's an awful way to call it, John. But yeah, either way, wouldn't this be... Cheating?" Peter whispered the last part; after all, he was talking about Jesus, and it was a blasphemy. (Not that they really believed the Son of God thing anymore, but still, JESUS!)
"He is just dating them both, Peter. They are in a relationship," Simon said, as he was playing Angry Birds on his phone. "Shouldn't y'all be like... I don't know, used to it? I mean, come on, Judas and Mary were thirsting over Jesus longer than any of us had been in "The Twelve""
"We are not against it! Love is love and all that, it's just that... Mary and Judas." Peter hesitated, "It feels like a lesbian and a gay man dating..." He said, embarrassed.
"Well, so far I know they are not dating each other."
"But you just said they-"
"Poly people don't always date each other. Look, some poly relationships are like a triangle, everyone is with everyone, alright? While others are more like a tent, B and C date A, but B and C don't date each other; they are friends, or whatever they feel like it." The Zealotes said after losing the game.
"I guess that makes sense," John said, "Jesus is greedy."
"He deserves it, tbh" Simon said before playing some APK Minecraft version.