Chapter Text
To everyone's surprise, Lui Hibiki was suddenly no longer too busy to spend time with his family. Both Ms. Ring and Miku were ecstatic, but Len had to admit to himself Mr. Hibiki's sudden interest in family activities unnerved him. It was as if he watched every move Len made, judging him as making mistakes Len wasn't sure he actually made. While Luka and Meiko were not subtle about their prying into his personal life, Mr. Hibiki looked at Len as if by simply seeing him he knew all the secrets Len kept. Although he grew up a good kid – always got good grades, never did drugs, avoided the wrong crowd – Len started to believe himself harboring an unforgivable sin so secret even he didn't know what it was.
Maybe you're overthinking again, Rin suggested when he texted her about it.
Possibly, Len texted back, but it still feels sudden, like he's speedrunning figuring out what's wrong with me.
After the message sent, Len rubbed his eyes. He should have put in his contact before staring at his phone, but he wanted to talk to Rin sooner rather than later. Being nearsighted meant he could see his phone well enough to send cohesive messages, but holding his phone too close to his face put another type of strain on his eyes.
His phone dinged with her response.
You said up until now he's been stuck in his office, right? Maybe he just realized time's running out to get to know you and is trying to amend for that. Unfortunately for you, that looks like glaring into your soul and knowing every bad thing you ever did.
If you're trying to comfort me, you're not doing a great job.
This is ME we're talking about. Just be glad I'm not reminding you of the ninth grade when you pushed Nero off the playground fort and broke his arm.
YOU did that.
Yes, but you were there. You're an accomplice.
Maybe my biggest sin is being your twin.
We used to always say we're one soul in two bodies. There is no 'your sins' or 'my sins.' They're OUR sins.
God had to make us twins because we'd never get along as friends.
True, but you wouldn't give me up for the world. Rin added a teeth-showing smile emoji at the end.
Len couldn't help but smile himself as he replied, Of course I wouldn't. Life would be too boring without you to cause problems.
It's my specialty, she texted back. Then another text came in. Anyway, GTG. Gotta help Dad get Christmas Eve dinner set before we go to church for the evening service. You'll call tonight, right?
Of course. We're going to dinner after the service, but I should be able to squeeze a call in before we sit down to eat.
I know this is selfish of me, but I can't wait for you to come home. I miss you.
I miss you, too, but I'll be on the road within twenty-four hours.
You really want to spend all Christmas day driving?
No, but I don't want to be too tired on our birthday more.
I love you, Len. Talk to you tonight.
I love you, too, Rin.
Setting his phone back on the nightstand, Len stayed seated on the bed and sighed. Since he spent all month not reading his favorite Christmas book, he planned to start reading The Coldest Month the night before. Only it wasn't in his bag. He remembered packing it, and he knew he never removed it since arriving here. While he stayed up late looking in every pocket in his bag and under all the furniture, the book didn't turn up.
Maybe his big sin Mr. Hibiki judged him for was losing a library book.
There was a knock on his door, and believing it to be Miku, Len called for her to come in. Only it wasn't Miku on the other side. It was her father standing in the doorway.
"Mr. Hibiki!" Len shot to his feet. "Good morning, sir."
"Len," Mr. Hibiki calmly greeted. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, sir." Len told himself this wasn't a proper lie. While he went to bed late, he slept well the few hours he was in bed.
"Care to take a walk with me?" Without waiting for a response, Mr. Hibiki spun on his heel and walked away.
Grateful he was dressed for the day in dark blue jeans, a yellow sweater, and tennis shoes, Len followed. They wordlessly walked down the stairs and out the door to the backyard. The winter air bit into Len's skin, and he wished he grabbed his jacket as well.
"You are infatuated with my daughter, are you not?" was how Mr. Hibiki started the conversation.
"Yes, sir," Len said. "I like Miku a great deal. Ever since I met her, she's lit up a part of my life I didn't know was dark."
When Mr. Hibiki grunted, Len realized his error. It was the same thing Detective Fukase said about his love interest Una Otomachi in one of the later books. Teenage Len always scoffed at the lovey-dovey description until he and Miku became friends and he understood the feeling Fukase tried to convey with his client from a much earlier book.
There was no way he could pretend using that exact phrase was a coincidence.
Trying to salvage the moment, Len continued, "Miku has encouraged me to become a better version of myself since the moment we met. Not like she's tried to change me, but like simply being near her has positively influenced my life. She makes me happy. And I say all this hoping it's true for her, too. While I know I can't speak for her, I hope she's just as much better being around me as I am around her."
Yet as Len spoke, Mr. Hibiki paid little attention. When Len brought up that line from one of his novels, Lui flashed back to the day he reunited with Ring at her first husband and his former best friend's funeral. It was as if their years apart never mattered because they seamlessly picked up where their friendship left off. Their shared grief bonded them, and spending time with the infant Miku forced Lui to realize how much of his life he was sleepwalking through. Like Mikuo, Lui would one day be buried six feet under, and he wondered if anyone would miss him as much as Mikuo was missed.
He didn't fall in love with Ring immediately, but the first year after Mikuo's death was one in which they spoke every day. If bills were tight, Lui invited Ring and Miku over for dinner as often as he could so Ring could pay her bills without stressing about not having enough left over for groceries. Whenever Miku needed to be picked up from daycare and Ring couldn't get off work, Lui was there. Even though he never tried to take Mikuo's place as Miku's father, he realized he fulfilled that role the day the sweet three-year-old called him "Daddy." Before he knew it, Ring was offered a job across the country, and Lui's heart broke at the prospect of the two of them moving away.
Wanting to be selfless, Lui tried to keep his feelings to himself. Only Ring surprised him by asking plainly if he loved her. He did, of course, and he loved Miku too, and he hated to see them go. To his surprise, Ring told him she wouldn't accept the job. Although she wasn't sure when she developed feelings for him, she loved him, too. If he loved her enough to marry her, she would stay. They called their closest friends as witnesses and went to the courthouse that same day.
Once Ring and Miku moved in with him, Lui sat down to write what became the fifth book in the Detective Fukase series. In it, a woman named Una sees Fukase to help her solve her husband's murder. While Lui typically kept his personal life separate from his fiction, Ring was his subconscious inspiration for Una. Her character was so popular, his editor begged him to squeeze her in when she was absent from the first draft of book six. From there, she became a staple character who understood how Fukase saw the world and challenged him when his ways conflicted with those around him.
Lui always intended for Fukase to remain a bachelor, and Una's confession of love, with Fukase never confirming whether he reciprocated those feelings, was one of the unresolved questions at the end of the last book and one of the reasons he didn't know how to continue the series.
Coming out of his flashback, Lui saw Len quietly waiting for a response of some sort. At first, Lui didn't know how to take Len's answer. He didn't know if Len quoting Lui's own words back to him were something he should feel flattered by or take as a warning that Len was going to tell Lui whatever it was the young man thought Miku's father wanted to hear.
Just looking at him, Lui didn't see anything malicious in Len. If anything, there was nothing imposing about the blond. His features were far too feminine – a heart shaped face, slim build, shoulder length hair typically tied into a ponytail, apparent lack of ability to grow a beard, and how easily he cried during movies. He was different from the boys Miku liked before. Yet somehow, he had the potential to be even more dangerous.
"Miku may not be my blood," was how he began, "but she is my daughter in every way that matters. She is far more precious to me than anything else in my life, except her mother, of course. That means if you do anything to hurt her, anything at all, you and I are going to have serious problems."
"Yes, sir," Len said, voice trembling. "I don't want to hurt her. I don't know if I could forgive myself if I ever did."
Honesty, or laying it on thickly? Lui watched as Len licked his lips and swallowed. The young man subconsciously wiped sweaty palms against his pants. Lui was making him nervous.
Good.
"I'm only going to say this once," Lui began slowly. "You want my blessing to be with my daughter? This is your last chance to really impress me, but it doesn't stop after dinner tonight. I'm not an easy man to please, Len Kagamine. Every day you are with her are days I will be in the background, watching your every move. There will be no secrets you can keep that will be safe from me. One way or another, I will discover the truth. Unless you are ready to treat Miku as the treasure she is, I recommend you reconsider asking my blessing to be with her. I can forgive you for not being up to the task. I won't forgive you hurting her in any way."
Having nothing left to say, Lui turned and walked away. He stepped inside to find Miku staring at him, her arms crossed. While he smiled at her and wished her a good morning, she responded by narrowing her eyes.
"Are you trying to scare Len?" she asked.
"I don't want him to hurt you," he answered, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Have you forgotten about Rinto?"
"Dad, I was sixteen when the whole Rinto incident happened. Besides, Len's nothing like him."
"As true as that may be, nothing is going to stop me from wanting to protect you." Lui stepped forward and rested a hand on her shoulder. "I don't want to see your heart broken again."
"Trust me, I don't want my heart broken again, either." Miku looked over his shoulder, probably seeing Len through the window. "I know it makes no sense for me to say this confidently, but Len isn't going to break my heart. I can't see how he could. When he's around, I feel like I'm a better person. I'm more responsible because of him. Whatever we talk about, be it something serious or something silly, I feel encouraged to really think about why I believe what I do. He's the greatest friend I ever had, and if what you and Mom always say about a great friendship being the foundation of a great romantic relationship is true, then I think he might be the person I've waited for all this time. I made a mistake with Rinto, but I don't feel that way about Len."
The more Miku spoke, the more Lui's heart ached. Even if Miku wasn't ready to admit it to herself yet, she was falling in love with this boy. He no longer wanted to believe Luka and Meiko were right about Len's having another girlfriend. Not that he wanted to believe it before, but hearing Miku talk about Len in such a way made Lui wish everything they found was on another Len. Lui already heard the bitter tears of devastation Miku would cry when she learned the truth.
If Len Kagamine had a decent bone in his body, he would walk away from Miku now before he hurt her worse.
"He has until tonight to convince me he's the one for you," was all Lui said to Miku. "If I don't approve, I hope you won't make the mistake of ignoring my judgement again."
As much as it hurt him to see the pain in her eyes, he knew being a parent sometimes meant letting your child hurt a little now so they could avoid hurting more in the future. In a way, Miku seemed to understand this because despite the tears welling in her eyes, she merely nodded. No one was going to look out for her like her parents, and fortunately she seemed to have outgrown her rebellious teenager phase.
Watching her father walk away, however, Miku wiped away the tears before they could fall. He barely bothered getting to know Len, yet he acted as if his mind was already made up. If her father decided he didn't approve of Len without properly knowing him, then Miku wondered if she should reconsider if her father's blessing really mattered after all.
"You okay?" she asked when she stepped outside to find Len sitting on the tire swing. The weather was far too cold, but Len still sat outside in nothing but a sweater to keep warm.
"I think your dad has decided he doesn't like me," was how Len answered. "I don't know why, though. I mean, I accidentally said something from one of his books, but—"
"That shouldn't be enough to convince him of anything good or bad," she interrupted as she leaned against the tree in which the swing was tied. "I know Mom adores you, and Dad usually trusts her judgement, so I don't know what's gotten into him all of a sudden."
Len wanted to ask if she thought Luka or Meiko had anything to do with it, but not wanting to pin her against her cousin, he chose to keep quiet.
"He's just . . . trying to protect me," Miku then said slowly. Taking a deep breath, she began, "When I was sixteen, there was a boy in my math class I really liked. His name was Rinto. He was top of the class, captain of the basketball team, and he read a lot. Every week he had a new book. It all started when I asked him if the book he was reading – I think it was The Lost Hero – was any good. Probably no surprise to you, but after that we talked about books a lot."
Len couldn't help but smile. Saying nothing, he waited for her to continue.
"A few months into our friendship, if you can call it that, I found out he was a fan of the Detective Fukase series. I wanted to impress him, so I told him the author was my dad. From there . . . everything between us changed."
When Miku hesitated, Len reached out and took her hand. He squeezed her fingers, and she squeezed his back. After a moment, she continued.
"Looking back, I know Rinto never liked me like that. But I couldn't see it at the time. I didn't want to see it. I mean, he and his friends often talked about which girl they thought was the hottest even when I was within earshot, and one time he outright asked me if my friend Ia was single. He never led me on, but I was so lost in a river of puppy love, that when he started getting close to me after I told him who my dad was, I didn't see the signs.
"He asked me out, and I was over the moon. Yet no different from you, I told him he needed my father's permission to go out with me. Since he was meeting Lui Hibiki, he obliged.
"I won't overwhelm you with every detail, but the four of us went to dinner that night, and on the drive home, Dad told me he didn't approve of Rinto. Mom and I were both surprised. After all, on paper, Rinto was perfect. But there was something about him Dad didn't like, so he told me that I could stay friends with Rinto but I shouldn't let our relationship be anything else. As I'm sure you can imagine, sixteen-year-old me who read a plethora of books and fan fiction in which characters caught in a forbidden love don't let anyone stop them was not going to let either parent keep me from my one true love.
"For the following few weeks, Rinto and I were in a secret relationship. So secret, in fact, that not even the kids in school knew we were together. To keep up appearances, Rinto would flirt with and even ask out other girls."
Len's eyebrows rose to the top of his head. "And you were okay with that?"
"Not really, no." Miku shook her head. "I only agreed to maintain an image. To make a long story short, Rinto was only using me to get close to Dad. Like every other Detective Fukase fan, he wanted to know what happened next. He was always asking questions and encouraging me to pry more into Dad's work life beyond what he shared already. I even tried to hack into Dad's computer so I could send him the manuscript Dad had at the time!"
Len couldn't stop his heart from breaking at imaging a teenage Miku so sick with love she would not only rebel against her parents but go as far as to risk their trust in her schemes for this boy who never cared for her beyond what she could do for him. The tear that slid down her cheek revealed how painful this still was to her years later. There was nothing Len wanted to do more in that moment than to hold her close and take away the hurt.
"Let's just end the story with when I found out the truth, I was devasted." Miku swiped at her eyes. "In my self-pity, I swore off dating unless I was with someone I completely trusted was a good guy who would love me for me and not for who my parents are. Cue you, Len."
Swallowing, Len listened to Miku laugh and explain, "You scared me at first, y'know? Like Rinto, you were so perfect on paper. I nearly hit you with my bike, and you stay to make sure I'm okay. You helped me clean up and gave me bandages to stop the bleeding. You were so nice to me. You liked to read. You offered to help me with my homework when you noticed I was struggling. Maybe you aren't athletic or tall or a wild card or charming or have a nice beard—"
"Thanks?" he joked, and she laughed again.
"But you are everything I didn't know was attractive until I wasn't blinded by what I thought was," she finished. "More importantly, you respect me. I, uh, overheard you and Kaito talking in the kitchen that day, when I asked you to spend break with me. You told him you wanted to go out with me, but because I wasn't interested in a relationship, you would choose being a good friend instead of pushing me to change my mind. That was when I knew I couldn't wait. I wanted my parents to meet you. I wanted them to love you as much as I started to. I thought they would be blown away by you. Well, Mom is, at least. As for Dad, I think he's still too hooked up on the 'Rinto Incident' to not see you two are nothing alike."
Len waited a few minutes to make sure Miku was done before he asked, "This is why you wanted me to get your dad's permission, isn't it? So you could reassure yourself that you aren't making another mistake. To make sure I haven't blinded you like he has."
"In a way, yes." She pressed her lips together. "Are you upset?"
"Of course not." He shook his head and said, "In my own way, I understand. Growing up, my best friend had an older sister who was completely infatuated with me. Her name's Neru, and she's about two years older than me. Now, I was never interested in her. My best friend's sister? No, those are girls you don't look at. Bro code says all the homies' sisters are off the table."
"Did you just say 'homie'?" When Miku laughed, Len smiled at the small victory of getting her to smile.
"Yes, I did. Anyway, she didn't get the memo. Pretty much until she graduated high school, she was convinced we were made for each other. I suppose my being so polite and nice to her didn't do me any favors. I have a million stories I can share, but the one I'm going to briefly mention is when she kissed me on the mouth during our mutual friend Miki's sweet sixteen birthday party."
"She didn't." Miku looked almost horrified.
"She did." Len nodded. "We were talking – I don't know if she approached me or if I walked over to say hi to her – and I must have said something encouraging. To this day, I still don't know what I said that's how rattled what happened next left me. Neru grabbed my shirt in both hands, pulled me close, and mashed her mouth against mine. Her friend Haku got a picture of the incident, and for weeks afterwards, that picture circulated the school. Neru claimed it was proof we were together."
"That's awful! What did you do?"
"Nothing." Len laughed without humor. "I, um, was too embarrassed to go to my parents about it. Nero offered to talk to his and Neru's parents, but I didn't want it to be any more a big deal than it was already. The next few weeks were miserable. I avoided Neru as much as I could, which led a lot of the girls giving me grief for not being near 'my girlfriend.' Eventually, Rin couldn't take it anymore. Without my knowing, she broke into Neru's locker and put a live snake in there."
"She did what?!" At this, Miku appeared more amused than horrified.
"Knowing my twin, she wasn't going to go to the adults and speak to them on my behalf. That's the mature option. No, Rin purposely got in trouble – there was a note in the locker reading, 'I saw him and thought of you. xo, Rin' – so she would have an excuse to tell them what Neru had done and that she was only getting even. That's when I had to be brought in to tell my side of the story. In the end, Neru was told to stay away from me, and Rin was told to stay away from Neru. I was so affected by the event, I couldn't even look at a girl romantically for the remainder of high school even after Neru graduated. Nero was a great friend to me through it all, but I didn't go to his house much anymore after that."
"Looks like we both have a little bit of baggage." Miku blew a loose strand of hair out of her face. "You went through all that and still thought spending break with me and my family was a good idea?"
"You're not Neru." Despite himself, Len chuckled. "I won't deny you inserted yourself into my life, but you never demanded more than I consented to give. Everything between us felt to be built on mutual interests and respect. Meeting you may have thrown all my plans for the semester away, but I was happy to do it."
"I really did just come into your life to ruin all your plans, huh?" She giggled. "Guess you can say we're even. I just wanted to be your friend back then. The day I realized I had feelings for you really threw me for a loop."
"We might not have been looking for anything in each other, but I'm glad the stars aligned so that we liked each other at the same time." Rising from the swing, Len offered his hand and said, "We should probably head back inside. I lost feeling in my fingers."
When her hand slipped into his, Miku exclaimed, "Your hands are freezing!"
"Did you think I was joking about the loss of feeling?"
Len's favorite part of any Christmas Eve service was the candles. It didn't feel like it was truly the eve of the Savior's birth until the entire congregation held small, lit candles wrapped in paper and sang Silent Night with the lights off. As the service concluded, he cast a glance towards Miku, who sat beside him.
She caught him looking and smiled. Candlelight flickered across her porcelain face. She looked beautiful in her red sweater dress, her hair braided into a crown around her head. Her voice as they sang was high and sweet. It was as if she, too, were an angel that joined the Heavenly chorus as they announced to the shepherds the birth of Christ the Lord.
"You have a beautiful voice," she was the one to tell him. "Next time we do karaoke, you should sing a song."
"I don't really like singing in front a lot of people," he replied as softly as she spoke. "Well, unless I sing with Rin."
"How about if I sing with you?"
"Hmm, I might consider it."
The radiant smile he got in response was enough to melt him more than all the candles in the room combined. After blowing out the flames and discarding the candles in the collection's box, her hand found his as they walked to the car. It was possibly intentional Miku walked slowly enough so that the rest of her family walked ahead and couldn't see the two holding hands.
During the car ride to the restaurant, in which Miku chatted excitedly with Ms. Ring, Luka, and Meiko, Len pulled out his phone and texted Rin.
We just got out and are heading to the restaurant. Will it be better to call sooner or later?
After a few minutes, he got a response.
Service won't start for another half hour, so I got time. We're already here waiting for Mom. I can ask Oliver and Olivia to watch the seats so I can go somewhere quiet.
Len smiled. He fully intended to video call everyone else before they went to bed, but he wanted to make sure he got the chance to speak to Rin privately first. Once his parents and remaining siblings were on the call, he and Rin wouldn't be able to catch up on anything.
They arrived at the restaurant and were seated almost immediately. Once he ordered his drink, Len leaned over and whispered in Miku's ear, "I gotta make a phone call. I'll be back."
She nodded her understanding, and Len rose. Quietly excusing himself, he walked outside. The nipping cold night air bit into his exposed skin, but it was worth it to get a brief conversation with his favorite person.
"Hold on, I'm stepping out now," Rin said after the first ring. The chatter in the background faded away as she stepped into another room, probably backstage since their church never kept that area blocked off. "Okay, much better. How was her church's service? They had candles, right?"
"It was good. They had candles, too. I would have been mildly upset if it wasn't a candle lit service."
"Listen to us, so spoiled about our candles. Anyway, on to the more important topic: Have you talked to Miku's dad yet?"
Len gulped. "No."
"What are you waiting for?!"
"I don't know! I want to ask him privately, but I can't seem to get him alone. Or, at least not since he pulled me aside this morning to scare me. Do you think that's as good as a no?"
"Unless he said no, then no, it isn't." Rin's resolution was strong in her tone. "You ask that man for the opportunity to court his daughter, even if you have to do it in front of everyone else."
"But, everyone will be looking at me. . . ."
"Suck it up, buttercup! You're running out of time if you want to do this right. If you don't talk to him before the night ends, you're going to regret it. Len, do you really want to come home to me giving you grief for missing Christmas with us just to not get the girl?"
"The fact you are threatening me instead of encouraging me is definitely getting your point across."
"Good. I love you more than anything, and sometimes that love has to manifest in threatening you to get your ass in gear."
"You shouldn't be swearing in a church, Rin."
"If I don't sin a little bit, Jesus died for nothing."
"That's bad theology, and you know it. There's literally a verse about that."
"Look, we can talk about my being a sinner when you get here tomorrow, assuming you're not exhausted from all the driving you're going to be doing. Tonight, you need to be a man and talk to the girl's dad. I know you can do it, even if you have trouble believing in yourself."
He sighed. "Thanks, Rin. I don't know what I would do without you."
"That's what I'm here for. Hey, Olivia?" Rin's voice pulled away from her phone. "What are you doing here? I asked you to stay with Oliver!"
"I have to use the bathroom!" Len could hear his younger sister protest.
"Then why not use the one in the lobby?"
"The line is too long! Most people don't use the backstage bathrooms, so I came here instead. Hey, are you talking to Len?"
"We're having a private conversation!"
"I want to talk to him!"
"You'll talk to him when he calls us later tonight."
"But I don't wanna wait!"
Chuckling, Len spoke what he hoped was loud enough for Rin to head, "It's okay, Rin."
"Okay, I'm putting you on speaker."
"Hey, Len!" Olivia's voice, so sweet she sounded much younger than her eight years, rang from his speaker.
Unbeknownst to Len, it was at this time Luka stepped into the parking lot. She found her lipstick missing and assumed it fell out when she dropped her purse on the floor during the ride while trying to pull out the wedgie her tight leggings gave her. Her trek to the car stopped when she heard Len over the bushes.
"Hey, Olvia. I miss you."
Olivia? Forgetting her lipstick, Luka stepped closer. She was close enough to hear the other end of the conversation.
"I miss you, too!" What sounded like a small child replied. "When are you going to be home?"
"I'll be driving back tomorrow morning. As long as traffic isn't miserable, I should be back before dinner."
"Will you play with me when you get back?" the young child asked. "I really want to play Little Nightmares 3 with someone, but Mom won't play with me."
Len chuckled. Of course he knew of everyone in his family, only Olivia and their mother liked horror games. If necessary, he tolerated playing them for his little sister's sake, but it was mostly their mom who shared the experience with the youngest child. Naturally, this was the busiest time of year for their mom's work. If she didn't get time to slow down after the holidays, Len would gather the little courage he had to appease his sister.
Not that it stopped him from asking, "Rin, why won't you play with her?"
Luka didn't listen to whatever excuse Rin had. Her heart dropped. She had to cover her mouth to stifle a gasp.
"Mom won't play with me," the little girl had said.
"Rin, why won't you play with her?" Len replied.
All the pieces clicked into place. Len doesn't just have a secret girlfriend. He has a secret family!