Chapter Text
As the cherry trees had started to blossom and the sun was slowly warming the streets, Lee Hyunseo sat in one of the Starship Entertainments meeting rooms and played nervously with the strings of her hoodie. She had her fair share of awkward meetings and auditions thanks to her years in choir and modeling for SM Kids, though none have felt as heavy and meaningful as it did right now. It seemed as if one could cut through the atmosphere with a knife.
The room was quiet except for the faint hum of the heater and the rustling of clothes from her fellow trainees, who have been summoned with her, when a staff member went into the practice room where they were preparing a group performance for their next evaluation.
Kim Gaeul, Kim Jiwon, Naoi Rei.
She has trained with them a lot throughout the years and grown somewhat familiar during the long practice hours, grueling monthly evaluations, shared evening meals and laughs that masked the exhaustion.
Hyunseo felt the smallest among them, not just in age or literal height, but also in presence, her hands seemingly unstoppable now playing with her strings.
The door finally opened with four staff members filing in and she quickly stood to greet them. After beckoning them to sit down an older man, maybe fourty, cleared his throat and scanned the trainees before him.
She wasn’t sure what to expect. In the last evaluation she had improved in the previously pointed out areas and gotten good feedback. But for a debut announcement she felt as if she was still a bit too young, not yet fully ready, maybe not yet deserving. Furthermore, they had just begun to train in this configuration as of two weeks ago. She just could not dare to think about it.
Which then realistically only left her, them, to be kicked out of the trainee program.
She began to play even more nervously with the strings on her hoodie. Oh, how she hoped it was something else. Maybe they needed extras for one of their seniors music video shoots?
“Thank you all for coming so swiftly to this meeting”, he began, as they all have taken their seat. “I don’t want to strain your nerves more than necessary, so let me get right to the point.”
Hyunseo was sure that everyone could hear her heart hammer in her chest. She hoped for anything but a dismissal, pleading silently to the skys, to anyone who would listen.
“After long discussions and evaluations, Starship Entertainment is preparing to launch a new girl group”, finally a smile finding its way onto his face. “And we think, that the four of you would complete the line-up perfectly. Congratulations!”
Hyunseo froze, the strings of her hoodie forgotten. She had not dared to hope. The words hung in the air, floating and unreal. They wanted to debut her. Of course she had imagined it, dreamed of it in the security of the night, in her thoughts, where no one else could hear and laugh at them.
But to hear it said aloud, from a staff member nonetheless. She felt as if she was floating away.
She glanced to the others, seemingly just as shook as her. Gaeul was slightly opening and closing her mouth, as if she wanted to ask more.
“Th… Thank you.”, she managed to squeeze out, which broke the paralysis that had locked them all in a standstill. With their senses returning to them, they all quickly joined to thank them for the opportunity.
“You said we are to complete the line-up, who else will we be debuting with?”, Gaeul continued, with her voice now steady. It was a good question really. Only they had been summoned to the meeting room. Of course there were other female trainees at Starship, but to Hyunseos knowledge most of them should be at the company. And if not, why hadn’t they just waited with the meeting until they arrived.
“Well,” the manager answered, excitement glinting in his eyes, “two more will join you. After their activities with Iz*One conclude, Ahn Yujin and Jang Wonyoung will be set to debut alongside you.”
That was followed by an audible gasp from them all. They were not just some idols, they were super stars, with experience that seemed leagues, no, worlds beyond her own.
Hyunseo was slowly freaking out. Ahn Yujin was her ultimate role model. She had voted for her during Produce48, had all the different album versions of Iz*One at home. Yujin was the reason she wanted to be an idol, the reason why she tried so hard to get into Starship Entertainment. And now she was so fortunate as to debut with her? As colleagues?
“For the leader of this new group we have decided,” the manager went on and thus stopped Hyunseo spiraling into a full-blown panic attack, “that due to her vast experience, Ahn Yujin would be the best fit.”
Hyunseo carefully glanced over to Gaeul. As the eldest she might have expected to become the leader, and from Hyunseos experience with her, she certainly had the patience, warmth and skills to fill the role. However she just gracingly nodded her head. If she was surprised or angry about the decision, it certainly didn’t show.
The female manager, to the right of the one previously talking, handed each of them a stack of papers. In big letters the headline read ´Artist Representation and Management Contract´.
Hyunseo could only stare at the stack of papers, which were printed in dual language, split in the middle. The left side was written in Korean, the right in Japanese.
This was really happening. Finally the butterflies started to fly in her stomach and she felt all excited. She couldn’t sit still anymore and shifted in her seat, which earned her a short glance from Rei. She took a deep breath to try and regain her composure again and managed to calm herself down enough, that only her feet tapped lightly against the carpeted floor.
“Please read this contract carefully on your own time,” the manager that handed them the contract started to explain. She quickly went through the different sections of the contract, to make sure each of them understood, which topics in general were covered by the contract.
“Please make sure your parents also read and sign the contract. If they have any questions, on the last page they can find the contact information for me or any other HR-representative. As for Rei, please also review the additional pages in your stack for the necessary changes for switching you from a D-10 to a E-6-2 visa.”
Hyunseo felt as if run over by a bus. The information given was way too much to even process, let alone comprehend. She glanced to her fellow trainees, no, group members, but they seemed as puzzled as she was, which in turn made her feel better and not the odd one out, as she had feared a little.
“And with that, we are finished”, the first manager proclaimed cheerfully. “Does anyone still have questions?”.
Hyunseo was unable to speak and could just weakly shake her head.
“If there are none, you may go now. And before I forget, you will be put on a different training schedule from now on, we will have further information for you tomorrow. As of now, just go home and let everything sink in.” He smiled and with that, stood up and left the room with the other staff members.
Hyunseo let herself sink back into the chair and stared at the table with the contract in front of her.
After a short while, Gaeuls cheer erupted in the eerily silent room. “Congratulations you all, isn’t that what we all wanted, what we trained so hard for?”
Jiwon chimed in, “Yes, yes it is. Oh my, it is only just sinking in. We are going to debut!” The last part was more of a shriek as she vehemently hugged a still seated Gaeul. Spurred on by this outburst of joy, Rei and Hyunseo sprung up as well to join the others in a group hug, while Gaeul managed just to stand as they crashed into them.
After they had thoroughly hugged and squealed it out, silence once more filled the room, but this time it felt warm and kind.
“Well, what do we do now?”, Rei asked and brought each of them back from their thoughts. “I guess we should go home now. Tell our parents. Maybe get some rest. As Manager-nim said, tomorrow we will start a new chapter”, Gaeul suggested.
At this they bid their goodbyes to each other and shuffled out of the meeting room to go home. On her way to the underground station Hyunseo could not stop her own thoughts crashing in on her. Debut, Group, Wonyoung, Yujin, Her. The Youngest.
Would she be enough? Could she already carry the name and responsibility of an idol, while she deep down still felt like a girl in school uniform, worrying about exams and being teased by her younger sister? Would she be liked, by her members and the public?
Yet nonetheless she felt a warm spark rise to the surface.
She would work twice as hard, as to not disappoint Yujin when she arrived. As to not disappoint her now members. As to not disappoint herself.
While walking in the chilly spring air the sun shone on her, warming her from within. Maybe, just maybe, she could pull it of.
After all, even if she walked slowly sometimes, she never walked backwards.