Work Text:
Tim was reading a book in bed, the light on his nightstand on, patiently waiting for Lucy to finish her long and thorough nighttime routine. When she finally crawls into bed, he puts the book down and looks at her for a second, Lucy still has a towel wrapped around her head so her hair can dry and Tim smiles at it. ‘Isabel used to do that every morning.’ he says with a nostalgic voice. Lucy ignores the comment.
‘Wasn’t it amazing to see Isabel again? I hadn’t seen her in so long and she looks so good? You wouldn’t say she’d been a drug addict right? And we spent the whole day talking about things we used to do.. It’s so amazing to see her again.’ Tim says, he has a big proud smile on his face.
‘Yeah, no it was great. Good to see she’s doing alright now.’ Lucy answers while lying down. Her demeanor says she didn’t find it great at all. Tim doesn’t seem to realise that yet though.
‘She asked about us’ Tim pointed his finger between himself and Lucy and moved it back and forth a few times ‘and if we had worked together for long, so I told her you were doing UC and all. She was super excited to hear about that.’ Tim rambles on, not realising Lucy’s growing annoyance.
‘Yeah, bet.’ Lucy says with a sigh. She wants him to know she’s uncomfortable with him being so excited about his ex, but she also doesn’t want to say it straight to his face and take his happiness away. She turns her back to him.
‘Are you okay? Is something wrong?’ Tim asks her.
That’s it for Lucy. ‘Well, you keep rambling about your ex. Maybe I’m not entirely comfortable with that, after watching her sit very close to you all day and put her hand on your leg and shoulders. You know. Maybe that’s hurtful for me.’ Lucy suddenly snaps. Tim looks at her with big eyes.
‘You know I don’t love her anymore, right?’ Tim asks her. ‘It’s nothing like that.’
‘You can tell me you don’t love her, but you should probably tell her too! Have you even noticed how she was around you?’ Lucy goes on.
‘Lucy, we met at the academy, we were married. We have a history, of course when we see each other some things come back up. The way we split was.. intense. And unfair.’
‘What are you even saying right now?’ Lucy asks
‘I.. I am saying you don’t have anything to worry about.’
Lucy stands back up out of bed. ‘I can’t do this.’ she says.
‘You can’t do what? Where are you going?’
‘I can’t keep sleeping under these covers, in our bedroom, when you defend her like she’s in the room!’
‘Lucy, you’re overreacting.’
‘I am overreacting? Just now you compared me to her, with the towel wrapped up around my head! And do you think I didn’t read the note, that I clearly shouldn’t have read, that she passed you today?’ Lucy snaps again, still standing in the room.
‘Lucy, I love you, I chose you, I want you. It’s you and I. Isabel is just a harmless memory.’
‘A harmless memory that wandered into our lives, that you’re super fond about!’
‘Lucy..’
‘She’s still here! Why is she still here? You say that you want me, but then why is she still here? If it’s you and I, then why are you still talking about her like that?’
Tim falls silent for a second, overwhelmed by the emotion added by Lucy.
‘You introduced me as your colleague, your friend. I didn’t say shit, because that’s what it is, but don’t you ever do that shit again.’ Lucy goes on, seriously mad now.
‘And when you brought her here, to my apartment, on the kitchen floor? I’m sorry but that didn’t feel like friends.’ Lucy stands up, madly taking the towel out of her hair and trowing it behind her on a chair.
‘Lucy..’ Tim tries, but he knows right now she needs to ventilate and he needs to listen. And after that he needs to fix.
‘No! Whenever you wanted more, I’d give that. Never drawing attention to this gap in your past, these questions you never answer. She’s clearly still here. So then why am I here?’ Lucy is damn serious, and is expecting answers. Answers that tim can’t, or doesn’t want to give.
‘Lucy, come on. You’re overreacting. Sit down and we can talk about it.’ He tries, thinking he is doing the right thing, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
‘You’re not taking me seriously, are you?’ Lucy asks.
‘Luce, of course I am taking you seriously! But you are seeing ghosts! She is not in my life anymore, not important to me anymore!’
‘What more do you need, you got me right here, but you gotta go after her? Why is she still here?’
‘Lucy, I told you I don’t love her.’
‘And Tim, I told you that you should tell her that. Because I genuinely can’t go and sleep here under the covers when she’s in the room and in your head. If I’m your girl, then why are you still with your head with her? If I am your girl, then why is she still here?’ Lucy her eyes well up with tears now. There is silence. Which is enough for Lucy.
‘I am sleeping in the guestroom.’ She grabs her pillow and walks out.
The next day Tim calls Isabel. He gets her voicemail.
‘Hey, yesterday was nice. I loved to see you again, and see that you’re doing okay. I loved how we fell back in old patterns. I get funny when you're around me, I didn’t think that would still happen, but it does. And I was thinking yesterday, that if you’d call me I’d leave whatever I’m doing, hell I’d leave my own party. But.. that is probably a bad thing, if those old patterns are coming back up, and if it’s that hard to stop.
I told you about Lucy yesterday, and her undercover work. But what I didn’t tell you was that she is my girlfriend, and she has been for a while. And you and me having contact again? It’s causing issues with my baby at home.
She saw us yesterday and thought you and I were a little too close, she got scared. She is jealous and scared, because what you and I have Isabel, is special. We have a bond, we were married.. and it didn’t go the same way with Lucy. It took time and building and Lucy just wants to know I am all in.
And I love you, but this is making me feel unsure. So I can’t have you around me anymore.
You know, yesterday Lucy and I had a big fight. You’re the root of that issue, the reason we fight. And I really don’t want to have to choose, but I am taking her side. Because if it isn’t me, right now with you, it’s her who’s gonna close that door. So I can’t have you around me anymore.’
There is a long silence. It feels heavy.
‘There are some places we went, when we were together, that I will keep to myself. And she will never be someone I wish I didn’t know.
I don’t want to risk that I will start wondering if I should be yours. So I wish we don’t have any contact anymore.
Goodbye Isabel.
I can’t have you around me anymore.’
Tim puts his phone away, takes a deep breath and goes on with his day. Lucy will be home in an hour and he should have dinner ready.