Chapter Text
Ryan still didn't know how to feel about Blue. ‘Blue like the colour’, he thought somewhere between bitter and curious. He stared at the wall of the firehouse as he thought the man over. Blue’s shift had ended half an hour ago, and Ryan’s ended in another half hour.
Part of him wanted to go and find his dad, demand to know more about the situation, but that also brought up the fact he’d have to ask about his parents sex life. He shuddered at the idea, shaking his head and barely withholding a disgusted noise.
“Goin’ home soon, Ryan?” Taylor asked, walking by with her guitar. Glancing over at her, he tilted his head, then looked up at the clock. Ryan had spent the remaining thirty minutes of his shift sitting and staring. Great.
Tossing a shaky grin over his shoulder at Taylor he nodded, “Leavin’ now. Where you headed?” Taylor just held up her guitar with a cheeky smile in response as she sauntered out of the room. Shaking his head, Ryan rose from his seat and followed Taylor out of the room, at a slower pace. Trailing a hand across the wall as he walked out, Ryan’s thoughts drifted back to Blue.
A secret younger brother. Ryan still hadn’t fully wrapped his head around it. Part of him felt bad for ignoring the man other than helping him with the basics he helped all of the cadets with.
Walking past his dad’s office, Ryan’s steps stuttered. He knew his dad was fine now, but he wasn’t allowed back to work for another few weeks. As current acting captain, he was in charge. Despite having a few more things to deal with, Ryan decided he needed to go out. He couldn’t have the same scenery, and he didn’t want to go home just yet to see his parents unprepared for him and his dad’s new scars to be out.
Shuddering, Ryan snatched his brown jacket and pulled it on with force. He stopped himself from instinctively calling Sam despite how much he wanted to. They were done. She served him papers. That hurt still hadn’t gone away yet.
Ryan looked over the railing, watching Taylor and Roxie talk, smiling. He was glad everyone’s spirits were lifted. The good news of his dad’s health, and the fact they hadn’t had many hard calls– he suspected his Aunt Cammie had something to do with that. Sighing, Ryan ran a hand through his hair then shook it out.
He needed a drink. A strong one.
––
The first bar Ryan had gone to had been too loud for his overtired brain to handle. He’d decided to take a drive, and ended up driving out much further than he’d meant to, and was almost an hour away from home now. Pulling off to the side of the empty, leaf covered road, Ryan turned off his car and rested his head on the steering wheel. He breathed, inhaling and exhaling for as long as he could. He was surrounded by nothing, just empty roads and trees. A few hidden driveways that were overgrown, and shouting.
Wait, Ryan lifted his head, eyes narrowed and nose scrunched. Shouting?
Narrowing his eyes, Ryan looked out of the windshield to try and pinpoint where the yelling was coming from. He wasn’t very prepared for when he did.
Walking on the opposite side of the road towards his car was Blue being followed by his mother. They were shouting at each other, Blue walking away from, but Ryan couldn’t understand what they were saying. He reached for his door handle, then paused, wondering if he should get involved or not.
Deciding to not get involved, Ryan moved to turn his car on, eyes still on Blue and his mother, watching as they’d both stopped and were talking face to face. He didn’t think Blue could hunch in on himself so much. For such a tall man, he could surely shrink.
Ryan’s hand froze over the button to turn his car on as he watched Dixie reach up and slap her son, then shove him. Blue stumbled backwards into the overgrown sidewalk, feet slipping on the grass as he caught himself. Blue seemed to somehow shrink in on himself further, crossing his arms as the fight visibly drained out of him. He stood there as Dixie yelled a bit more before storming off in the other direction.
Blue stayed there for a few more moments, he looked up at the night sky, then continued walking, much slower now. Blinking himself out of his stupor, Ryan shakily turned his car on and turned the car around with a failed sort of three-point-turn.
Blue had managed to walk a bit away as Ryan wasn’t sure if he should really pick the man up, but he shook his head, pulling up beside him. He cleared his throat as he rolled his window down, trying to act like he hadn’t seen anything. “Yo, Blue!”
Pausing, Blue glanced over warily at the car before noticing Ryan. He smiled, forcing his normal hunched stance and smiled at Ryan.
“Bit far from home, aren’t ya?” He asked with a lopsided smile. Ryan shrugged, reaching over and popping the passenger side door open.
“I’m spendin’ the night at the fire station. Want a ride there?” He didn’t offer to take Blue home, and if Blue asked him to, he was going to play the ‘early shift’ card and say it’d be better for them both to spend the night. Luckily, Blue nodded. He hesitated before getting the car, but climbed in nonetheless.
Now in the light of the car, Ryan could see the slightly discoloured skin on his cheek, he didn’t say anything about it.
“Late night walk?” Ryan didn’t wait for Blue to buckle in before carefully driving off. Blue shrugged, not gracing him with an answer. Ryan ran his tongue over his teeth, nodding. “I was on a late night drive. Clearin’ my head.”
Blue glanced at him. “How’s, uh, how’s Captain Hart?” Blue’s voice was quiet, like he expected Ryan to just brush him off. Truthfully, any other time, Ryan would. But right now he’d give Blue a response.
“He’s doin’ better. Uh, a bit pissed and restless.” Ryan shrugged, fingers tapping the steering wheel to keep himself calm. “Ready to be back. He might come to visit, actually. In a coupl’a days.” Blue nodded, smiling.
“That’s good, good, yeah.”
The two fell into an awkward silence as they drove back to the station. They both tried to start a conversation again a few more times, but it always fell back into the tense silence.
As soon as the station came into view, Ryan let out a relieved breath, and he could hear Blue do the same. They got out, each saying awkward goodnights and the other niceties. Blue headed straight to the bunks, getting into the too-small bottom bunk, but Ryan went to the Captain’s office.
Ryan sat down in father’s chair and sighed. He dropped his head into his hands, fingers curling in his short hair. Ryan’s phone buzzed in his pocket, he pulled it out and stared at his father’s text, asking where he was.
Ryan typed out a reply, “I just saw Dixie hit Blue.” He stared at the message before deleting the entire thing, staring at the bright phone light until his brain hurt. “Staying at the fire house with Blue tonight. See you tomorrow.”
As he clicked send, Ryan shut his phone off. He looked out of the door of the office into the still open door of the bunk room. He couldn’t see Blue, but he could see where his boots were dropped at the end of the bed. He dropped his head again, this time to the desk. His head pulsed painfully and he regretted it, but he couldn’t bring himself to lift his head.
God, what had he gotten into?