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"I think you'll find that's everything sire," Merlin said. There was a strange lilt to his tone that Arthur couldn't quite put his finger on. Maybe he was simply stressed about the upcoming war.
"Impressive, very impressive," Arthur said. "I've never seen work like. Well not from you anyway."
"Thank you sire."
"So, what are you after?"
"After?"
"Come on Merlin. You're the worst servant in the history of the world, now suddenly this," Arthur stated, walking towards his desk. "Is it money?"
"No," Merlin sighed.
"No, it can't be that, you've already won all of mine." Arthur picked up one of the parchments. "Time off?"
"Arthur-"
"No, it can't be that either. You don't really do anything," Arthur said teasingly, looking back at Merlin.
"I just wanted to make sure you had everything you needed for your journey to Camlann," Merlin said quietly, not meeting Arthur's gaze, "for the days ahead."
"Thank you..." Arthur trailed off. "Merlin, what do you mean my journey?"
Finally Merlin turned to him. He looked tired, his eyes red rimmed. "I'm afraid I won't be coming with you. Not this time. I'm sorry. I have an urgent errand to run for Gauis. Vital supplies that I can't obtain here."
"Vital supplies?" Arthur questioned. His first thought was coward but he new that couldn't be true. Merlin had never been cowardly. He had magic after all. Powerful magic at that. Merlin always ran head first into danger, no thought for the consequences to his own safety. So what could possibly be so important that Merlin would not be by his side. He hardly believed Merlin would leave for mere supplies, however vital.
"Yes, it's not that I'm-" Arthur raised his hand, cutting Merlin off.
"I don't believe you," Arthur stated simply.
"What?" A flicker of confusion crossed Merlin's. "I - Gauis needs-"
"Merlin, unless Gauis was activley dying, you'd never leave at a time like this. Someone else could get supplies," Arthur explained, leaving no room for argument. He knew it was true. "So something else has happened."
Merlin stood frozen. Arthur swore he could see the cogs turning in his mind, trying to come up with a plausible excuse.
In that moment, Arthur decided to so something he thought he'd never have the courage to do.
"Merlin," Arthur asked seriously, waiting for Merlin to look back at him. "I know about your magic. I know what you've been doing for me, in secret. And I know you would never leave at a time like this unless there was something serious going on. So what is it?"
Merlin's face turned a ghostly white, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Arthur waited, surpising even himself with his patience.
Finally Merlin spoked. "You knew?" Merlin exhaled. Arthur nodded.
"For quite some time now," Arthur said.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
Arthur sighed. Why hadn't he said anything?
"Well its not exactly legal yet, Merlin" Arthur stated. "Admitting I knew, would be admitting I had to execute you. Which I could never do."
It was more real Merlin flinched. Then his face lit up ever so slightly.
"Yet?"
Arthur nodded. He'd been working to rewrite the laws in secret, knowing the backlash he'd recieve from the council. Particularly those who worked with his father.
But he couldn't believe magic was evil. Because that would be believing Merlin was evil. He'd experienced lapses in this idea of course, such as when his father had died. But then he'd see the aftermath of Merlin's magic and be reminded that magic was more akin to a tool. It could be used for good or bad, but really it was up to the person who wielded it.
"That's a conversation for another time," Arthur decided. "Right now I need to know what's so dire you can't accompany me."
Once again Merlin was frozen, emotions conflicted, his eyes on the floor. Arthur dropped the parchment, closing the space between them.
"Mordred has told Morgana that I have magic," Merlin said slowly. "Last night she... she retaliated."
Arthur frowned. Merlin was skirting around the issue, but Arthur needed to know. "Merlin, what happened?"
"My magic," Merlin started, his voice too quiet. His arms wrapped around his torso. He looked so small, Arthur had never seen him act like this.
"Its... it's gone."
Arthur's eyes widened. "What?!"
"I'm useless without it," Merlin whispered.
"Is that why you're not coming?" Arthur asked. He still believed Merlin would accompany him, with or without magic.
"I mean to travel to the Crystal Cave in the a Valley of the Fallen Kings," Merlin explained. "If there's any way I can regain my magic, the very birthplace of magic itself should have the answers."
Arthur nodded slowly. Everything seemed to fall into place, and Arthur understood entirely.
"Well we best get going," Arthur said, clapping Merlin on the shoulder.
"Arthur you can't come with me," Merlin shook his head furiously. "You are needed here."
"Merlin you'll never make it through those woods alone!" Arthur said.
"I won't be alone," Merlin said. "Gwaine will accompany me there and return in time to leave with the army."
After a moment, Merlin continued. "And hopefully I will meet you on the battlefield."
"You'll still be alone in that cave," Arthur stated. "I can't let you do that."
"Arthur you have an entire army to lead," Merlin pointed out, Arthur huffed, alnost childishly.
"You better not die on me," Arthur said petulantly.
Merlin let out a shallow laugh. "Better than how I'm currently feeling," Merlin muttered, more to himself that Arthur.
"What does that mean?" Arthur asked, worried.
"Nothing, nothing," Merlin waved off his concern. "I can't believe you knew."
"Merlin, don't change the subject. Whst did you mean by that?"
Merlin sighed heavily.
"I feel... empty. Like my soul has been ripped out of my body."
Arthur could see it. Merlin's eyes were dull and his face lacked its usual colour. Even in the way he stood, Merlin seemed like his was struggling to stay upright, struggling to hold himself together.
"I'm sorry," Arthur said. "I hope the Crystal Cave has what you need."
"So do I," Merlin agreed.
Arthue held out his hand, and Merlin grasped it witha firm single shake.
"I'll see you in Camlann," Arthur smiled. Merlin nodded once, smiling back.