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Eddie assumed that becoming a paramedic with Hen would mean fewer injuries or life-threatening incidents.
Of course, Eddie knows he’s still a firefighter; however, now, instead of always being the first ones to run into a burning building, he’s able to stay outside and treat the victims.
Although all of that is relative. Eddie still jumps into the ocean to retrieve Tripp Hauser from a giant whale without another thought, and now, Eddie finds himself underground in the metro, a giant pile of rubble surrounding him, water leaking in through the cracks. Everything hurts, there is dust in every crevice of his body and his ears are ringing.
Never a dull day.
The collapse seems to have missed him, thankfully, deciding to fall perfectly around him like a trap, enclosing him on the very end of the train cart.
“Eddie.” A voice calls out, not distant at all.
That’s weird. Everyone else had evacuated except him. He was just packing up the Holter monitor, apparently not fast enough when everything came crashing down.
Eddie shifts uncomfortably in the rubble, eyes scanning the room for the sound.
The giant slab next to him grunts.
Immediately, Eddie begins lifting the rubble from beside him, throwing it to his best ability to one side, revealing the firefighter next to him. “Buck?”
Buck helps Eddie lift the remaining rubble, his face covered in dust and grime, “I was halfway up the stairs when the crash of some debris just threw me down.” He coughs weakly, patting his chest.
“Are you hurt?” Buck looks much worse than Eddie. The side of his head is bleeding a red crimson that’s just dripping further and further down his face as the water continues to pour into their alcove.
Buck coughs again, this time shaking his whole body, “took a pretty bad hit but I’m fine.”
Eddie sighs, “I’ll be the judge of that.” He grabs the flashlight from his pocket and shines it onto Buck’s eyes, “Does your head hurt?”
“No, I just feel like a bug being crushed by a rock--”
“Diaz, Buckley, come in.” Eddie’s walkie-talkie chimes, interrupting Buck. “What’s your status?”
Eddie looks around once again, he can’t really make out how far the stairs are but the slabs of concrete that fell around him are far too large to move without any of their gear, “trapped.” He responds, “think the entire roof came down this time.”
“We’re trying to get to you, but you seem pretty sealed in there.” Chimney’s voice isn’t reassuring at all. “Are you injured?”
“I’m okay, but Buck took a hit with the rubble.”
“I’m fine.” Buck rolls his eyes as he chimes in with his walkie-talkie, “sore but nothing life-threatening. Can you get someone to turn the water off?”
“Working on it. Just hang tight, we’re waiting for additional units. ETA is about 20 minutes.”
Eddie sighs. “We should get comfy.” He shifts slightly, only to immediately take in the very little space they have, his leg pressed hard against Buck, their shoulders only inches apart. “It’s going to be at least 45 minutes before additional units even get here, I mean, have you seen the state of LA today? The sky is literally falling. And I thought beenado was the weirdest thing we’d ever see.”
Buck stays silent.
“I mean, this is just a joke, we were literally done with the difficult part of the rescue if I had packed up with a little more urgency—” Eddie pauses, taking in Buck’s expression. It’s unreadable, and it makes Eddie feel a little uneasy. He normally can read Buck with ease, and the silence is just making him feel more worried. He misses Buck yapping in his ear during calls with fun facts and silly anecdotes. He can’t imagine any time Buck has been this quiet and now seems like the worst when they have quite literally nothing else to do but talk. The only sounds are of the water dripping more and more into their space.
Eddie stares at Buck but still, he refuses to make eye contact. “You can talk to me, you know.” Did Eddie do something wrong?
Buck stays quiet for a moment as if he is deciding an appropriate response. “Can I though?” His voice comes out small.
Eddie is taken aback by the response. Sure, they haven’t been attached at the hip like they may have been before everything had to change, but Buck is still his best friend. “Yeah.” He replies, easily and truthfully.
“It doesn’t feel like that.”
“Buck, I don’t want to argue with you.”
Buck seems to lower his walls at that, his expression softening. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Eddie shifts again, his leg going numb already, the water now pooling around them. “It’s so warm in here.”
“Can you stop moving every two seconds?” Buck bites back, moving himself in return to the furthest point from Eddie, which, granted, is not even far enough for their legs to stop touching.
“I hate enclosed spaces,” Eddie confesses. It reminds him of the well. The sound of the water dripping in, fearing he would take his last breath.
“Cause of the well?” Buck asks, of course, he can read Eddie’s mind.
“Yeah I’ve kinda been trying to talk to you to distract myself but you’re making it difficult.”
Buck frowns. “Well, now I just feel like a dick.”
“Just talk to me.” It hits Eddie in that moment that he cannot remember the last time it was just the two of them having a conversation alone. Ever since Buck moved out, he has been drifting further and further out to sea and truthfully, Eddie hasn’t been trying to swim fast enough to reach him. “Chris misses having you as a roommate, he says my pancakes are always missing something.”
“He should come for a sleepover sometime, the guest room in my new place is nearly all set up.”
“Yeah? How is your new place?” Eddie had only been there twice since Buck moved three months ago. Once to help Buck move in, and the second time was a housewarming with the Wilson and Han family.
“I like it. It’s cosy.”
But do you like it more than my house? Eddie wants to ask, but he bites his tongue. He never asked Buck to leave, didn’t even hint at it. One afternoon, Buck just showed him his new rental and began packing up. “It’s very Buck.” But even before then, the gap between them had been growing bigger and bigger; ever since Bobby died, Buck has felt out of reach.
Buck laughs a little at that. “Thanks?”
“I’m just saying you grew out of the loft; it didn’t really resemble you anymore. Too cold and industrial.”
“You never visit, though,” Buck responds in the most honest voice—Eddie’s chest aches. He’s right. It’s not fair to put it all on Buck; they’ve both been complicit in their distance.
“I’ve been busy.”
“With Hen?”
Eddie turns so he can face Buck as he says the next words, gauge his reaction, “with moving back to LA and settling in.” And yes, his friendship with Hen has really blossomed, but they were good friends before.
“And watching IMAX documentaries,” Buck says under his breath, just loud enough for Eddie to hear.
“Are you jealous?” he accuses. Out of all the things to be jealous of.
“Pft, no. Are you jealous of Ravi?” Buck says, emphasising the ‘you’ and pointing a strong finger at Eddie.
“No.” Sure Eddie’s skin crawls when an order is followed by ‘Buck Ravi…’ instead of ‘Buck Eddie…’
“Then why should I be jealous?”
Fair point. Eddie’s seen the way Buck looks at him every time he laughs at something Hen has said, his face long and drawn out in a frown. Eddie had noticed enough times, yet he hadn’t said anything. “You were jealous when I was friends with Tommy and I felt bad that we left you out, but then you just ended up dating him.”
“Don’t worry I’m not going to date Hen.” Buck says with an eyeroll pointed at Eddie.
“You know that’s not what I’m saying.”
And they’re enveloped in an awkward silence again.
“Eddie?”
“Hm?”
“The whole room is spinning.”
Eddie twists his head so fast he nearly gets whiplash, immediately pointing his flashlight at Buck, “can you follow my finger?”
Buck complies, but unfortunately, fails to actually follow Eddie’s finger.
“Hm…one of your pupils looks pretty blown out.” Eddie notices. “You’ve got a mild concussion, bud.” He finds a tissue in the pocket of his turnouts and uses it to gently wipe the blood from the corner of Buck’s head. It’s starting to dry up now.
“My ears are ringing too, but I think that’s just from the crash.”
Eddie nods and reaches for his walkie-talkie, “Cap, what’s the ETA looking like? Buck has a concussion. I think it’s mild, but I can’t know for sure until we’re out of here.”
“Around 15 minutes still, they’re really backed up.” The radio crackles back.
“Okay.” Eddie frowns, “Buck, just sit tight.”
Buck begins to slowly close his eyes, leaning into Eddie.
“No.” He taps Buck lightly, “No falling asleep, I need to monitor you.”
Buck sighs at that, “I’m fine, it’s mild. I just wish the room would stop spinning.” He stays leaning though, the weight almost comforting.
“Keep talking to me.”
“So bossy.”
“Tell me, how’s baby Bobby?”
Buck seems to perk up at the mention of his nephew, “Oh, he’s doing great, he’s starting to crawl, and he can babble really well. He’s also an amazing listener.”
Eddie laughs at that, “What is he like your therapist or something?”
“I mean, he can’t respond, but that’s what’s so good about it.”
“God, maybe I should book in a session with him.”
Buck furrows his eyebrows, “what’s going on with you?”
Isn’t that a stupid question? Eddie doesn’t even know where to begin, “it’s been a rough year?”
“But you seem really happy.”
“I’m trying to be, but grief still gnaws at you, it doesn’t just go away.”
Buck nods solemnly, “I miss Bobby, but I also really miss how things used to be.”
Eddie makes a sound of agreement, encouraging Buck to continue, “I think Chimney is a great captain and you ’re-you’re doing so good as a paramedic with Hen – everyone is fitting into their new roles. Everyone except me.”
“You and Ravi work great.”
“We do. He’s an amazing partner and an even better firefighter.”
Eddie can tell Buck is holding something back, “But?”
“But I miss you.”
It’s honest and raw. The way Buck says it, so plainly, hurts Eddie to his core. He misses Buck. God, he misses Buck. He misses bothering him at every given chance, asking for recipes, drinking beer after a long shift. “I hate this.” The words come out of Eddie’s mouth before he can even stop them.
“What?”
“I hate that we are further apart now than we were when I was in Texas. I hate that you feel like you can’t come and talk to me. And most of all, I hate that I made you feel that way.” Eddie takes a deep breath.
“Eddie—”
“I know it’s partly my fault, but it’s also yours - you’ve been mad at me since I got back, and we never really talked about it.”
Buck sighs, “I know. Can I tell you something?” he asks, tentatively.
Suddenly the air feels tight all around, suffocating even, “Yeah?”
“I’m not trapped here because I was halfway up the stairs when the crash happened.”
“Why are you trapped here then?”
“I was hanging back to make sure you’d get out okay and then I heard the celling begin to collapse so I just,” Buck pauses, almost embarrassed to admit the next words, “ran at you, as fast as I could, hoping I could somehow shield you from it but I ended up just falling next to you under a giant pile of rubble.” He sighs, “I know I’m not your partner anymore, but I still have your back. It’s like I’m programmed or something to try and prevent you from harm’s way.”
“Buck.”
“I know it was stupid, especially since you managed to dodge it all anyway, and now I’m the one with a concussion.”
“It’s not stupid.”
Buck scoffs, “I feel pretty stupid right now.” He shifts his weight, trying and failing to sit up against the back of the metro train, “I sort of pushed you away after the funeral and then when you didn’t chase me, I just assumed you didn’t need me anymore.”
“I thought you wanted to be left alone.” Eddie defends and feels dumb almost immediately, considering Buck has never in his life wanted to be alone. I always need you. Eddie wishes he could say, but now wouldn’t be the time. “I still have your back. Partners or not, we’re still a team forever and always. And for the record, I miss you too.” Eddie settles on.
“Who knew all it took for us to talk out our feelings was to be trapped under a couple of tonnes of concrete?”
Eddie shoves Buck playfully. “Well, we would figure it out eventually, I guess this just sped it up.” Eddie pauses. He wants more; it’s almost selfish in the way he wants all of Buck. This isn’t enough. “There’s more I want to say, but—” Eddie twists uncomfortably, “not here. Somewhere nicer.”
“Somewhere nicer?” Buck parrots.
“Well, like a restaurant with a bottle of wine.”
“Eddie—”
“I’ve been working on being happier. You make me happier Buck.”
Buck’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull, “am I so concussed I’m imagining you say things?”
Eddie laughs, and it feels right; this is how it should be. “No, I’m asking you on a date. Non-platonically.”
Buck smiles wide, wider than Eddie has seen in months, bright enough to light up the darkness surrounding them. “I would love to. Non-platonically.”
Almost like they had just found the answer to an escape room, a missing piece in a puzzle, the large concrete slab blocking them in is lifted as a team of firefighters rush towards them.
They’re going to be alright.