Chapter Text
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my jo
For auld lang syne
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne
And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp
And surely I'll be mine
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne
- Auld long Syne, a scottish folk song
On Christmas Eve of 88, the moon was hiding behind a thick layer of clouds. It didn't snow on the 25th, but a couple of days earlier. There was still a good enough layer on the ground around New Years. Not any good for building snowmen, but enough to keep the magic of the season alive. Apparently, if the temperature sinks below a certain degree, it just stops snowing because it's too cold for precipitation.
The snow that was left crunched under heavy winter boots and sparkled in the sunlight, like frail diamonds.
It did not make sense for Steve, that cold weather would stand in the way of snow, but he went with it, because what else could he do, argue with physics?
Steve got out of the driver's seat and closed the door of his Beemer. Above him, the moon was just a thin sickle, almost not visible on the blue velvet sky. Too cold for clouds, when it's too cold for snow, he figured.
He had been driving for 5 hours at least, turning the car's radio on and off, feeling impatient for his arrival.
When he left Hawkins, the sun was still shining bright above him, but it got dark so incredibly fast now. Being a child of summer, Steve felt pale as he regarded his reflection in the bathroom mirror in his parents almost empty house, that morning.
His travel plans included a couple of breaks, to get a coffee or stretch out. It felt like he went on auto pilot a lot and arrived at another junction without consciously driving there, so he became a careful driver of late.
The last couple of miles were easy though.
Joyce called him the week before to remind him of the route and pressed, that he did not have to bring anything. She just wanted him to be on time for dinner.
He arrived almost punctual. The night before his phone rang with Joyce on the line, reminding him again of the way to the farm, how after that one junction he had to turn left, after the gas station by that big farm, not right.
“I told Eddie and Jonathan 5 times too, it's not because of you.”, she said. Steve chuckled.
“Don't worry. I will make it for dinner. Promise,”
Steve's breath made little clouds, he pulled his scarf tighter around his neck and closed the zip of his winter jacket, before getting the wine and cake he brought for the special occasion out of the back of the car. He also took off his glasses and put them on the dashboard. He wasn’t vain though, they were just going to fog up anyway.
In front of the farm house several cars were parked already. He recognized Hopper's Truck, Eddie's Van and thought the third one could be Jonathan’s new car. Apparently he finally let the old Ford Galaxy rest in peace. His new car wasn't state of the art. It was practical. It made sense. Like Jonathan always did. He was never a guy who tried to impress others. What impressed Steve was the fact that Eddie's Van made another trip to Illinois.
He wondered who arrived with whom. A five hour drive with Mike and Dustin seemed like hell on earth lately. They argued a lot more these days, from what Steve had heard.
He did the maths of seats in his head, but knew that two kids were missing from the celebrations anyway.
The Sinclair's took the generous “compensation for inconveniences”, signed contracts and moved, back in 87. With their kids being in the middle of whatever was going on, they must have felt an intense amount of guilt. For not noticing, for letting Erica and Lucas go through the horrors alone. Maybe they felt betrayed, because the other grown ups left them in the dark, all these years.
From one day to the next, Lucas and Erica were gone. The Party has been told by Dr. Sam Owens, that the Sinclair family does not wish to disclose their new location to anyone. Dr. Owens wanted to be the one to tell them, even though it painted him as the bad guy to the kids, yet again. But Sam knew, it was his responsibility.
“That's bullshit! They wouldn't just leave us!”, Mike shouted, his voice echoing through the empty hospital halls. The realization sank in slowly in the weeks that followed.
The Party didn't give up on them, of course they didn't. It must have been a conspiracy, they were sure Erica and Lucas were trying to contact them too. Something or someone must be behind all this.
Eventually, they thought, they got the right address in Arizona, from Murray, who to his credit did try his best, but all letters came back unopened.
“I'm sorry kids. There is nothing more I can do.”, he had said to them. He really was sorry.
“Those kids, huh.”, Murray said to Joyce, who turned away, so they couldn't see her tear up.
After a while, Mike's open rage turned into a more quiet fury, bubbling under the surface. And Dustin's eagerness to find them, turned into cold disappointment. El felt Mike blamed her, for not being a 'superhero' any more. Maybe she was a bit right. There were only ghosts of a connection left, that were not strong enough to sniff out whereabouts with blindfolds and TV static. No mission, no road trips, no saving their friends from a big, bad evil. Radio silence.
So, there were two empty car seats in the equation.
Before Steve could walk up the porch or even ring the doorbell, the front door opened with a creak and a shadow emerged in it's frame.
“Guys, I was right! It's Steve!”, Dustin screamed over his shoulder back into the house.
Steve smiled and walked towards him, up the snowy stairs, over the front porch, that inhabited a big Hollywood swing and several wooden chairs. They apparently had painted the ramp Hopper and Will built for Max's wheelchair, since he last visited in the beginning of autumn.
Dustin, only wearing socks stepped onto the cold porch.
“You have to come upstairs with me, we just cranked open a bottle of coke. We also watched a movie from the 60s that was sort of weird.” Words bubbled out of the kid. After hugging him, Steve looked at Dustin's feet, only to find he wasn't even wearing slippers.
“Are you insane? Put some shoes on when you step outside, its December!” Steve exclaimed, patting his back affectionately, before shoving him inside.
“And whatever happened to 'hello'.”, he added under his breath, while stomping his feet to get the snow off his boots.
Dustin let himself be shoved inside, but didn't let Steve dim his spirits.
“Some guy in the movie was wearing lingerie and they were all singing... Is that cake?” Dustin pointed at the gifts Steve brought.
Following Dustin's voice, El danced down the stairs to greet Steve, a reluctant Mike behind her. She leaned in to hug Steve.
“We have a Christmas tree in the living room.”, El said, after she broke the hug. “Hopper got it from the forest with an axe, it's illegal to just get one out of the forest for free.”, she added in a matter of fact fashion.
“Uh, is that so...?”, Steve offered confused, loving her sincerity all the same.
She had let her hair grow out again. It reached her collarbones at this point and she was very proud of it, you could tell. It looked like Nancy let El borrow one of her hair clips and did her bangs up nice.
“Hop told us not to tell anyone.”, Mike scolded her after he awkwardly hugged Steve as well, like dudes hug each other. “He's going to make it my fault!”
Hopper sure was going to do exactly that, no matter what it was, Steve thought.
Mike's hair was short. Shorter than usual. It looked more like a haircut Ted Wheeler would pick out for his only son. Gone were the days Mike Wheeler tried to emanate the Eddie Munson look into his day to day life.
Mike took El's hand, to lead her back upstairs. El smiled apologetically over her shoulder before following him.
“Dustin!”, Mike barked halfway up the stairs.
“I'm coming!!”, Dustin shouted angrily and followed them upstairs, taking two steps at a time, probably afraid to miss something, if he stayed downstairs.
Steve shook his head in disbelieve after that whirlwind of conversation dissipated and left him standing in the front room, still wearing his boots and jacket, like he was an order that never got picked up.
“Hey!”, Joyce darted out of the kitchen. “Dinners ready soon, don't fill up on sweets!”, she shouted towards the general upstairs, but the door to the “teens room” already closed with a hearty 'thunk'. Joyce sighed, leaning against the stair's railing.
“They grow up so fast, huh?”, she said smiling sadly at Steve. He shrugged his shoulders, like he was veteran parent himself and huffed.
“Come on, then!”, Joyce said and pulled Steve into a hug.
“I still feel like you are growing, every time I see you!”, she said.
“I doubt that.”, Steve laughed.
“Also I told you not to bring anything!” She was mock angry when she took Steve's gifts off him, to give him a free hand.
”Just put your jacket somewhere... Where you find space.”
Steve looked at all the scattered shoes and jackets around the entry area and carefully put his jacket on top of a pile of other jackets.
“How was the drive?”, Joyce asked.
“Uh...I had to stop a couple of times.”, he answered truthfully.
“Better safe than sorry.” Joyce nodded.
Steve was the last one to arrive at the Byers-Hopper residency, an old farm house on the outskirts of another small town, but this one was closer to St. Louise, than Indianapolis.
The house smelled like mulled wine, wood smoke and cigarettes. Apparently Joyce did not quit her unloved vice, like she promised herself last year. And the year before that, to be honest.
Meanwhile, Joyce looked at the cake's packaging, she took out of Steve's hands before. It was well made and beautiful with a little handle on top, so you could carry it comfortably. It was very European. Steve was used to having Panettone around Christmas, so he figured it made a lot of sense to bring it for everyone to try and enjoy.
“Oh wow, is this fancy stuff?”, she said trying to read the label, but noticed, it wasn't English at all.
“It's uh... italian. And some red wine, from my parents place. I think it's good?”
Joyce looked at the wines label and raised her eyebrows. Chateuneuf du pap, 1983.
“I'm sure it is...”, she said walking into the kitchen, still looking at the label with furrowed brows. “You're sure they won't miss this?”
Steve shrugged.
The kitchen was cosy and warm. Two big tables were pushed together surrounded by a lot of chairs and a spacious bench. A couple of bags with clothes and toiletries from guests, left near the door, that haven't been put away yet. Steve felt his toes tickling, the warmth spreading life back into his whole body. On the stove two big pots were lightly bubbling, the source of the amazing smell, he figured.
Joyce put Steve's wine and cake on the counter where several plates of cookies, salad bowls, bread, sausages and some other bottles already resided. Steve's eyes locked on a bottle of scotch, which he immediately clocked as Hoppers. He had marked the level of the bottle, in case curious kids would try and have some. He knew that move far too well. Senior Mr. Harrington never had trust in his heart.
He also spotted pre-made lasagna, an amount you could feed an army with, already in the oven.
“We have punch and mulled wine. The punch with the apples is for the kids, the mulled wine for us.” She leaned in closer. “Make sure the kids don't get any more of the wine, they already got a cup.” Told, like it was a conspiracy.
She got a pink mug from the counter, poured some mulled wine with a ladle and handed it to Steve.
„They think I don't know about it.”, she whispered and chuckled.
Steve imagined, how they stole the mulled wine, brought it upstairs to try. The only one he thought, who wouldn't make a disgusted face was Mike. Steve himself did way worse things at their age though.
“Thanks for having me. And thanks, for doing all of this.”, he gestured towards the kitchen.
Joyce poured some mulled wine for herself too.
“Don't thank me. It was Jim's idea to do this every year.”, she said.
“He is very soft like that!”, Steve almost laughed, because they are not supposed to be soft. They are men. But still. Nothing hard here.
Joyce made a little “sshh” sign with her hands and laughed. “Yes!”, she said. “You re very hard.”
From outside he heard Eddie's loud, honest laugh. Outside the kitchen window, he could make out a fire in the backyard with Hopper, Max and Eddie sitting around it.
„How have you guys been?“, Steve asked quietly, not taking his eyes off the people around the fire.
Joyce shook her head and sighed.
„You know. They all still miss them and they are teenagers about it.“, she admitted.
„And Max?“ Steve saw the metal of her wheelchair glistening in the fire's light.
„We have good days and we have some bad days as well. But she likes her room downstairs now.”
Steve nodded. Will and El's room were upstairs. Max could be stubborn and she hated the stairs and the fact, she was the only one with a room on the ground floor.
“Owens wanted her to do physical therapy again, in Chicago. Where she was before? With you, Robbie and Eds? But she doesn't like it there. There are so many hurt people, she said. From Hawkins, you know. It makes her feel more sick, so we're trying to let her pick the pace.”
Steve watched light and shadow dance in accord to the fire in the backyard, painting shapes on the ground.
„You know... She is such a brave kid. They all are. But it's worse around holidays.“
„It's worse for all of us... I know. But-“, Steve started.
„-but they're still kids.", Joyce finished, nodding.
“Exactly.”, he said.
"But you are still kids too, Steve. Don't forget that."
Steve wanted to protest and make a show of his maturitybut somehow that sentence hit a spot inside of him and he swallowed down the emotion.
“It is you!! I thought I heard something annoying!!“ Robin opened the door like she was a cowboy, Steve rolled his eyes and opened his arms to welcome her into a big hug.
Robin jumped into his arms and kissed his cheek. „You took your sweet time!!”
„I ran across so many red lights though.“, he said swaying her left to right, like she was a baby.
Robin was wearing a glittery "Happy New Year's" crown, that jostled up her hair. Her cheeks were red, either from the cold outside or from the mulled wine. She took his hand to manoeuvre him from the kitchen to the spacious living room. Steve looked back apologetically at Joyce who just mouthed “Go”, with a smile.
The first thing Steve saw, was Nancy and Jonathan sitting on the the couch. Next to them was a small TV, something random playing. They probably were waiting for the live broadcast from Time Square to start. He also glanced at the Christmas tree Hopper stole from the forest. Allegedly.
„Look what the cat dragged in!“ Nancy was already lulling, her identical New Year's crown sitting slightly off centre on her brown curls. She greeted Steve with a raised „Best dad ever“ cup, that seemed to belong to Hop. „Sit down and have some wine with us.“, she said.
Robin looked at her with a mixture of amusement and worry.
„I think its time the cat dragged in some water...“, Robin said in a hushed voice, fixing Nancy's crown.
„Hey Nance. You look great.“ Steve kissed her forehead and sat on the cozy chair next to Jonathan, being glad drunk Nancy wasn't his problem any more, watching her swatting Robin's hand away.
He greeted Jonathan with a nod and a brotherly pat on the shoulder.
„How was the drive?“ Jonathan asked casually. „It was really icy the last couple of miles.“
They both nodded, indistinct voices of the TV exhilarating the silence.
One could have easily thought, the tension in the room was two ex-boyfriends feeling out some sort of rivalry over Nancy Wheeler, but that guess was way off.
Steve was already quite used to Robin and Nancy kissing, being aggressively cute, holding hands, whispering into each others ears. Jonathan wasn't mad about it, Steve knew that for sure, it was more that he still was a bit...overwhelmed. For him it was the first time, seeing them together live, in action and out. He'd get used to it soon enough, Steve thought. He did too. Outside, in the real world, neither Nancy nor Robin were out. It was just because, they're in front of family. Hopper probably swallowed his annoyance, because he was proud, that they felt safe in his house.
Joyce opened the door to the backyard. „You're going to have to put some more wood into the fire if you want to grill anything tonight!“ She shouted. „Eddie! Could you get some from the shed? Max! Max, are you cold? Come inside if you're cold!“ She let the door fall into the frame again and left for the kitchen, rattling around with dishes, saying something under her breath about catching death.
Jonathan shot Steve an excusing glance and got up to help his mum prepare sausages for the kids to grill over the fire and check on the lasagne, which was meant for the people who didn't want to freeze their toes off in the snow, but still wanted to eat.
Steve got up to look out the back door, to get a better view, taking a sip of his cup. Eddie came back out of the shed with a full woven basket of chopped wood, diligently following Hopper's instructions on how to perfectly place the wood, for maximum fire and heat. He was surprisingly compliant.
Steve noticed his big dark green Jacket and the fluffy looking ear-warmers, that surely weren't his. He thought they were maybe El's. She had decided earlier that year, that she liked cute things now, so she told Steve on the phone.
Behind Steve, Robin tried to get Nancy to drink a little bit of water. Her efforts were met with dry sarcasm. There was no way in hell, he wanted to be part of that situation, so he slipped into some of Hoppers „backyard shoes”, which he left by the door and made his way towards the fire, trying not to get any snow into the brown slippers.
The warm smell of burnt wood and the fire's tender cracking made Steve feel safe.
Eddie cursed, when he dropped a piece of wood he wanted to staple on top into the pit.
„The trick for these kinds of fires is to stack them up, it's called the log cabin method.“ Hopper explained.
„But you need a stable foundation for that. Which Eddie here, didn't provide. That's why he keeps dropping wood and burning his little phalanges.“ He leaned towards Max, a softness in his voice, when he said the last part of the sentence. She chuckled.
„They're not.... little.“ Eddie sounded defeated, looking at his own hands in disbelieve.
None of them saw Steve approach at first, so he stopped and took in the scene again. Wood-smoke, pine, mulled wine, cold air. He breathed in.
“Hey there.”, Steve said finally. Eddie and Hop's bickering stopped as they looked up at the new arrival.
Eddie's eyes got a soft expression, once he realized who the shadowy figure approaching them was.
Before Steve greeted Hop or Eddie, he crouched next to Max and said „Hey, it's Steve.“, before he reached out to take her hand in his, she grabbed him tight.
„Merry Christmas, again.“ , Steve said.
“You're a bit late for that.“ She rubbed her thumb over Steve's hand.
“Sorry about that. Again. I'll try to be around next year.”
Steve got up to shake Hopper's hand. „Thanks for having me, Chief.“
„Don't call me that. Nice to see you too, kid.“ Hopper's grouchy demeanour couldn't hide the fondness in his tone.
„Are you teaching Eddie how to make a bonfire?“ Steve asked Max.
„Yeah. But he sucks, apparently.“
„I do not suck. I just prefer a different method. The Tepee method.“ Eddie rolled his eyes and then winked at Steve.
Eddie's bangs were falling into his face, framing it like a painting, making soft shadows around his eyes.
„Hey, man.“ Steve said.
„Hey man.“, Eddie answered in a mocking tone, a smile escaping him.
They were silent for a brief moment, before Eddie opened his arms to embrace Steve in a big hug. Eddie picked him up, not letting him go until Steve squirmed,
„Ok, that's enough, I just drove for 5 hours straight. My neck is about to snap.“
Eddie let him down gently, but hugged him a little tighter, before he let go. Steve wasn't exactly used to male friends hugging him. That was not a manly thing to do. But what is a man to a god, what are social rules to Edward Munson.
There was a year's worth of hugging going on in the small amount of time after Steve's arrival anyway. It made him feel uncomfortable and at ease at the same time.
„Hey, that Wheeler girl, she still drunk?“ Hopper asked as he got up from his bench with a little groan.
„Yeah. I guess. Robin is working on it.“, Steve informed him.
„Fuck me.“, Hopper said. „I'm going to help Joyce. You boys can sharpen some sticks, for the sausages. And don't let the fire go out.“ He lifted the blanket off his shoulders and threw it around Steve.
„Make sure, they don't accidentally kill each other, Max. Knives are freshly sharpened.“
„Will do.“, she said.
„And bring my slippers you stole back inside, Harrington. Don't get 'em dirty“
Hop looked at his feet and then winked.
Eddie sat down next to Max and took one of the knives out of Hop's toolbox.
„Good old fashioned detective work.“ Eddie said, raising his eyebrows at Steve. “Eyes and ears everywhere.”
„He wasn't such a good detective when it came to Robin and Nance.“, Max said.
Steve wrapped himself into the blanket and sat across them, picking up a stick and a knife as well.
„Oh, so you know about all of these ... things?“, Steve asked, trying to sound casual.
„I'm blind, not dumb, Steve.“, Max supplied in a dry fashion.
There was a little sting in both Eddie's and Steve's heart. Max was making jokes, she was adjusting quickly. But people around her had a harder time, walking around eggshells and treating her more like a child than they did with the other kids. She hated that. It took her power away, she said.
„So, how did he find out?“, Steve asked.
„Well.“ Eddie chuckled, chipping away on his stick. „We all arrived yesterday. Joyce was making sure, everyone has a proper place to sleep. The shrimps all decided to sleep on mattresses on the ground, because that's a thing they do, apparently.“ He shrugged.
„And Hopper didn't understand, why Nance and Jonathan didn't protest, when he said girls and guys are sleeping separately and he put her in a room with Robin.“, Max added.
„He still thought Nancy and Jonathan were dating. Even though it has been ages.“, Eddie chimed in, stretching the a in ages.
Steve listened to them intently, smiling into himself, seeing Hoppers confused face in front of his mind's eye.
„So then,“, Max continued, „he came back from the forest with some twigs and sticks yesterday evening, because Dustin and Will decided they wanted to grill sausages and have s'mores over the fire today. That's when he saw Nance and Robin kiss on the front porch.“
„It was very romantic. They were sitting on the Hollywood swing, drinking hot cocoa or something.“ Eddie said and looked mock dreamily towards the sky.
„It was like he saw mum kiss Mrs. Clause.“, he sang theatrically. Max scoffed at that.
Hop used to be a cop in New York, before he moved back to Hawkins, so Steve thought, two women kissing shouldn't be really big news.
„He was really angry, because he said Joyce didn't fill him in and he made a fool of himself. Joyce said, that he should pay better attention and it wasn't her fault.“
„Great detective work, huh?“ Steve laughed, handling the knife carefully. His motor skills got better with the exercises he did, but sometimes, he still struggled. Plus he left his glasses in the car.
„How was it at your parent's house?“, Eddie asked carefully, glancing towards Steve.
He sighed. „You know. Cold, almost empty. I got most of my shit out. Did Wayne not want to come?“ Steve changed the topic too quickly.
Max kept quiet, listening to them talk.
Eddie scoffed. „He is stubborn like a mule. 'I've always celebrated this way.'“ he tried to copy Wayne's voice, swinging the knife around with his right hand.
Max put her hand on Eddies shoulder.
„Don't swing the knife around.“
„Right. I'm sorry.“ He cleared his throat. „So he stayed home with his buddies. I was surprised the van went all the way without breaking. I already saw myself freeze to death on the side of the road.“
„If El survived in the woods eating Squirrels, you can survive walking a mile to find a phone, don't you think?“, Max said.
Steve chuckled as Eddie turned his head towards her and looked her up and down one eyebrow raised. „We might have to take you inside, the cold is getting to you, Mayfield.“ Max laughed and shook her head.
“Try and make me, I've got my breaks on.”
A loud crack in the fire took Steve's attention away for a second. He half-dropped the knife mid-motion and cut into the flesh his thumb, cursing.
“Fucking shit!“
Steve dropped his knife and tried to shake away the pain shooting through his hand.
„What happened?“, Max asked.
„Steve cut himself.“, Eddie answered calmly and produced a tissue out of his jacket. He knelt in front of Steve and took his hand into his to look at the cut in the dim light of the fire.
„Is it bad? Should we go inside to get Joyce?“ Max tried to hide her worry.
„No it's nothing. I'm just an idiot, apparently.“ Steve said calmly.
„It's not deep.“, Eddie reassured.
Before anything else could happen, Eddie brought Steve's Hand towards his mouth, sucked the blood off his finger without hesitation and placed the tissue around the cut.
Steve's mind went blank for a second, when he felt Eddies lips on his skin. Eddie didn’t look up at Steve.
„Hold that. Stop the bleeding.“, Eddie said smiling, once he saw Steve's shocked face.
„Was that... is that sanitary?!“ Steve finally uttered, not sure if the fire made his cheeks feel hot.
„Probably not.” Eddie sighed. “Let's get inside and find a band-aid.“
Eddie got up and loosened the breaks on Max's wheelchair to push her towards the house.
“Come on, Harrington. Last one in the house is a slow, idiot chicken!“, he shouted over his shoulder.
Steve looked up from the tissue around his thumb. He shook his head, watching Eddie make racing-car noises as he pushed Max towards the house.
“An idiot chicken? Eddie!” Steve got up, to shuffle behind them, struggling wearing slippers in the snow.
Eddie cackled, being proud he triggered Steve's jock response.
“Also, loser does the dishes!”
Steve stopped in front of the house. Mulled wine, wood-smoke, Pine trees. He breathed in, before he walked up the stairs, to enter back into the warm, loud embrace of the house.