Chapter Text
Starscream knew what he had to do. He knew how much it was going to hurt.
He knew there was a very good chance this could kill him. Kill all of them.
But he had no other choice.
“It's okay, Star,” whispered Thundercracker, holding him close. “We're here. You're doing the right thing...”
From his place on Thundercracker's lap, Starscream grimaced. Both hands clutched his chest, over his spark, while his trine-mate gently rocked him back and forth.
Sentinel...
This was all his fault...
Sentinel betrayed the Primes, and there was nothing the High Guard could do to stop him.
They'd been called in too late.
Too late to save the Primes.
But right on time to become witnesses.
Between Sentinel and the Quintessons, they barely made it out of there alive. They may not have survived at all, had Starscream not drawn his swords and fought Sentinel directly, buying enough time for everyone else to escape.
But it barely mattered.
The Primes were dead. The Matrix of Leadership was lost. Starscream's swords were shattered.
And Sentinel won...
Starscream, his trine, and the rest of the High Guard were currently hiding, deep in a gorge near the Sonic Canyons. The last few hours had been a blur of fear and panic. Blood and energon still stained his paint.
Sentinel won...
The High Guard had to flee to the furthest reaches of Cybertron. There was no other option.
Starscream was the commander of the High Guard. He'd been the one to fight off Sentinel, to foil his attempt to eliminate the witnesses to his betrayal.
He'd known Sentinel for a long time – the vain fragger would take it personally, like he always did.
Starscream was a threat. A target.
Which meant his family was in danger as well.
Many in the High Guard knew about his conjux, and his two creations. But Sentinel didn't...
It was the bright spot of hope that he clung to. As long as Sentinel didn't know about them, they were safe.
“You can do this, Screamer,” whispered Skywarp, gently rubbing his wings, soothing him in a way that only a trine-mate could.
There was only one way to keep his family safe, to make sure they didn't come looking for him. And that was to make them think he was dead.
Because if there was even a hint that he was alive, Skyfire would come looking for him. The love of his life would put himself in the epicenter of the danger, in the lethal sights of both Sentinel and the Quintessons.
The thought of his conjux being hurt – or worse – nearly shattered him. He couldn't allow that to happen. He had to protect his family, no matter the cost.
While the rest of the High Guard set up an impromptu camp, Thundercracker and Skywarp had led him away, finding a small, secluded cave high in the cliff wall.
Starscream would never admit it, but he was grateful. He couldn't let the rest of the High Guard see him like this, gasping for breath with coolant pouring down his face. The wind that roared through the Sonic Canyons would drown out his screams.
His trine-mates had blocked off their spark bonds from their ends. That should keep them safe...
“You'll be okay,” whispered Thundercracker, hugging him tighter – TC always did give really good hugs. “We'll still be here for you.”
He had to do this. He couldn't let them know he was still alive...
He had to break the bond...
Starscream's focus turned inwards, towards his spark. After a moment of concentration, he was able to examine the bonds connected to him.
There was Thundercracker and Skywarp, of course. They'd been in his spark since he'd come online. Such is the way of trine-mates.
But they were distant, willingly giving him the room he needed. The privacy he deserved.
And their absence made it obvious. There was the bond he'd made with Skyfire.
His conjux endura. The love of his life. The shuttle he'd spent millennia with.
The bot he wanted to spend eternity with.
Their bond was nearly as strong as the one his spark had formed with his brothers. And connected to it, there was the thin, wispy string of a bond with their creations, interwoven with Skyfire's.
Silverbolt and Air Raid. Their perfect little bitties.
Primus, he was going to miss them...
If everything he knew about spark bonds was correct, their little winglets would barely feel this. Just a pinch of pain, and their sire would be gone.
Skyfire, however...
Starscream let out a pained gasp, his claws dragging lines into the paint of his chassis.
“I know...” whispered Thundercracker, squeezing him tighter. “I know... You can do this...”
“You're doin' great, Star...” Skywarp nervously added, trying to mimic Thundercracker's gentle tone.
Starscream took a deep breath.
He could do this... He could do this...
Skyfire sent a pulse of concern over their bond. He could feel his distress. His pain.
Oh, Primus, this was going to hurt...
Starscream took a long, deep breath. Then he raised the metaphorical sword, and brought it down.
Swish
In one swift movement, his spark snapped.
The bond with Silverbolt and Air Raid broke easily, weak and fragile from only a few cycles of connection.
The bond with Skyfire, however, was anything but weak. It was wounded, yet still intact.
It took a second hit to sever it completely.
The last emotions his conjux was able to send – shock, pain, fear, love – were nearly his undoing.
The broken bond ricocheted through him, knocking him senseless as his spark broke in half.
Thundercracker caught him, pulling him against his chest to support him, silently pressing their helms together. Skywarp's shaky hands hovered nearby, uncertain.
Reflected in the glass of Thundercracker's canopy, Starscream hazily watched the color of his optics shift from blue to red, as the grief, rage, and agony consumed him.
The scream that escaped him had enough pain behind it to rattle the stars.
A moment later, he slipped away, into the blissful nothingness of stasis.
Skyfire was in his lab in Kalis when his world ended.
He'd been trying to work to keep his mind occupied. It had only been a few hours since Starscream and the rest of the High Guard left, responding to a distress call from Alpha Trion.
He hadn't heard the contents of the message, but from how Starscream reacted, it was serious. But... surely things were okay, otherwise he would have heard something by now.
Right?
Although Starscream often kept his side of their bond closed off while in battle, a few sharp emotions managed to slip through. Skyfire occasionally felt a pulse of frustration, a jump of alarm, a shot of horror.
He had to really focus on not responding with emotions of his own. The last thing he wanted to do was distract Starscream when he was fighting.
Skyfire ended up pacing the length of his lab, too anxious to sit. His spark refused to settle.
He finally abandoned the pretense of reading through a report. He set the data pad aside, opting instead to listen carefully to his spark, and stare at his comms.
Nothing.
It had been hours, now. Had something happened? The silence was ominous.
After nearly wearing a trench in the floor of his lab, he finally stopped to check the time. It was getting late. He would have to leave soon to pick up Silverbolt and Air Raid.
Just as he was bracing himself to leave his lab, to face the outside world again, he jolted to a stop. One hand flew to his chest, and the other grabbed his desk to stabilize himself.
Starscream had let his control over his emotions slip. The jolt of pain that ran through their bond took Skyfire's breath away.
He was hurt. He must have been badly injured, to have let Skyfire feel that.
Oh Primus, Star...
Skyfire sent back a pulse of concern.
Starscream's pain intensified. Then a fire of agony ripped across his spark, as something violently wounded their bond.
Star! Skyfire tried to scream across the void.
I'm... sorry... the weak voice of his conjux whispered across the last strings of their bond.
Snap!
Skyfire's world ended, and his vision went dark.
The beeping alarm of a scanner reached him first.
Slowly, Skyfire brought his optics online, wincing slightly at the bright lights. His helm was pounding, his chest ached something fierce, and the rest of him felt sore and hollow.
Gone...
It was gone. His endura bond with Starscream had been shattered.
He could feel the wound on his spark, the jagged edges of the broken bond reaching out like tatters in the wind.
Starscream was gone.
He'd been in such pain before the bond broke, he must have been terribly injured.
But... what happened? What happened?!
No, no! He... he can't be gone...
Because if he was... Skyfire didn't know how he would withstand it.
Through the haze of pain and grief, there was a gentle, delicate prod against his spark. Silverbolt...
Skyfire gasped, feeling his senses snap into focus. He looked around – he was in a medbay, in one of the private exam rooms.
Someone must have found him after he collapsed in his lab. Nobody else was in the room with him now, though judging by the alarm going off on the spark scanner, a medic would probably be here shortly.
A message appeared on his comms, and for a split second, Skyfire's spark lept.
But no, it wasn't from Starscream. It was from Shutter, one of Starscream's cousins. She was the one who usually kept watch over Silverbolt and Air Raid while their creators were working.
She'd sent him a message, letting him know that she'd been told of his collapse. She was bringing the winglets to the medbay to see him, and they would be there in a few minutes.
Oh Primus, what was he going to tell the kids?
Taking a deep breath, he focused on his spark, finding the bonds that connected him to his two creations. He could feel their confusion and fear.
As their carrier, his bond with them was stronger than Starscream's had been. The break would have been swift, with no time for last thoughts to travel across the bond. Other than a twinge of pain, the only thing they should have felt was their sire simply stop existing.
It was a cold comfort.
The door to the room suddenly slid open. Skyfire jumped, thinking for a moment that the kids were here early, before he'd had time to compose himself. But luckily, it was a familiar medic, one he'd known for centuries.
“Skyfire!” exclaimed Backburner, closing the door behind him and stepping up to the berthside. “I didn't expect you to be back online yet. How are you feeling?”
Skyfire opened his mouth to speak... and immediately burst into tears.
Backburner had his arms around him in an instant. “Shh, it's alright, my friend. It's alright. What happened? What's wrong?”
Skyfire could only shake his head, both hands clutched tightly over his spark. Sobs wracked his frame.
“Did... something happen to Starscream?” Backburner quietly asked.
Skyfire hesitated, then nodded. “Our... our bond... it broke...”
His vents kept hitching. The grief felt like a physical wound, impaling him through the spark. Backburner did his best to soothe him, nothing but calm compassion in his EM field.
After several minutes – which felt like they stretched for an eternity – Skyfire managed to pull himself together. He was able to calm his venting, and he wiped the coolant from his optics.
His spark was still racing, though. It felt like it was trying to split itself in half.
“I'm sorry,” Backburner whispered, maintaining his comforting hold. “I haven't heard any news about the High Guard, or the Primes, for that matter. Maybe... maybe it's not as bad as you think.”
“He was in pain...” whispered Skyfire, clutching his chest tighter.
“You think he was injured?” asked Backburner.
Skyfire didn't answer, as a horrible thought crept into his processor.
He'd heard the myth before: that when a Transformer died, the bots they shared a spark bond with would go with them.
Skyfire had seen evidence to the contrary. He'd seen numerous examples of bots living on after their bonded offlined. It was more common than not.
But... he'd also seen the opposite. He'd seen bots drop dead when a sibling or conjux was offlined, their sparks guttering from the trauma, never to reignite. The risk was slim, but it was always there.
What if Starscream had been mortally wounded? What if he knew he was going to die, and his last act was to break their bond, to avoid taking Skyfire with him?
Not to mention their creations. Silverbolt's spark was stable enough now to survive without his carrier, but at only five cycles old, little Air Raid probably wouldn't have made it. Deprived of his creators, his stabilizing spark may have burnt out. That would have left Silverbolt by himself.
The mental image of his sweet firstborn being left all alone nearly sent him over the edge again. Only the gentle pulses of concern from his creations nudged him back into safety.
Still, he sat doubled over, one hand pressed to his chest, the other gripping Backburner's like a lifeline. He took a labored vent to calm himself, to think logically.
Skyfire was alive, and his bitties would be here in a few minutes. That was reality.
At the moment, he wanted nothing more than to hold them.
He didn't know what had happened to Starscream. He didn't know if the love of his life was dead or alive.
But if he had been dying, then oddly enough, breaking their bond had been his final act of love.
A last, desperate attempt to not take his whole family down with him.
His comm link beeped again – another message from Shutter. They had arrived, and were waiting to be cleared to visit.
Skyfire took a deep breath, working hard to wrangle his roiling emotions. His spark still hurt, and his EM field felt jittery and unstable, but he schooled his face into a mask of calm.
He'd had his breakdown. Now, it was time to be strong for his creations.
The whole time, Backburner silently watched him, his optics occasionally glancing at the spark scanner he was hooked up to.
Skyfire glanced at it as well. He saw how fast his pulse was, and his spark energy was on the verge of maxing out the reader.
So that's what a broken spark looks like on a scanner, he mused, feeling more numb by the minute.
The scientific part of him found it fascinating, that a broken bond had a detectable physiological effect on the spark. The rest of him just hurt.
“My creations are here,” said Skyfire, testing out his voice. It still sounded shaky, but not as bad as he expected. “Is it okay if they stay with me?”
Backburner hesitated, then nodded. “Yes, but just so you know, I'm planning to keep you overnight for observation. Will they be comfortable sleeping here, as well?”
Skyfire nodded. “They're Seekers, Burner. They can recharge anywhere, as long as they have physical contact.”
“Very well, then,” said Backburner, tapping his approval on his data pad. “Having them close will help stabilize your spark, as well. Now, if it's alright with you, I'd like to do a more thorough scan of your spark. Your energy readings are far too high, even for a bot of your size.”
Skyfire absently consented to the test. He was distracted by the sound of rapid pedesteps coming closer, the distinct tapping of heel jets on the slick medbay floor getting louder.
Sure enough, the door slid open a few seconds later, and Silverbolt quite literally flew into the room.
With practiced ease, Skyfire caught him out of the air, wrapping him in a big, comforting hug. His firstborn dug his digits into the seams of his armor, burying his helm into his chest, and holding tight to the comfort of his carrier. Skyfire could feel how frightened he'd been, and how relieved he was now, being held.
Shutter was a few seconds behind, trying to keep hold of a struggling Air Raid. The little winglet let out a loud chirp of annoyance at being restrained.
Skyfire extended the hand not holding Silverbolt. Shutter quickly set Air Raid down on the berth, and the little Seekerling scurried up to his carrier, activating his fading sparkling magnets and firmly latching himself to Skyfire's chest plates.
“Da!” Air Raid beeped out, before his speech defaulted back to the chirps and warbles of sparkling babble.
“Are you two alright?” Skyfire quietly asked, leaning back against the berth. With his sons in his arms, he instantly felt much calmer, his spark slowing and his EM field becoming more stable.
“We're okay,” muttered Silverbolt, though he kept his face buried in Skyfire's plating.
“They were playing, when they both just froze and grabbed their chests,” added Shutter, standing near the foot of the berth. “Nearly scared my wings off. What happened?”
Skyfire took a shaky breath. “I'm not sure yet. I'm sorry they scared you, Shutter, but I'm glad you were there for them. Thank you for bringing them here.”
Shutter nodded, her blue wings giving a twitch of concern. “Of course, Sky. Do you need me to take them home? I can clear my schedule and stay with them tonight.”
Although they loved their Auntie Shutter, Silverbolt and Air Raid both shook their heads, clinging tighter to their carrier.
“Thank you, but they can stay here with me tonight,” said Skyfire.
“Alright, well, you have my comm link,” said Shutter, nodding. “Don't hesitate if you need anything, okay?”
Skyfire nodded. “Thank you, Shutter.”
The old femme gave a quick wave of goodbye, then stepped out of the room, leaving the small family alone with the medic.
“Backburner, could we have a few minutes?” Skyfire quietly asked.
The medic nodded. “Of course, my friend. I'll be back shortly, once I find the scanner I need.”
He left the room immediately, closing the door behind him.
The moment the door clicked shut, Silverbolt leaned back, looking up at Skyfire with big, innocent optics. Despite the fact that his firstborn had inherited many of his features, he'd gotten Starscream's electric blue eyes.
“What happened to Dad?” Silverbolt asked, straight to the point.
Air Raid stared up at him as well, obviously expecting an answer.
Where his brother had inherited most of Skyfire's features, his precious little ankle biter had turned into a miniature version of Starscream, attitude and all. But once again, the eyes didn't match – Air Raid had gotten Skyfire's crystal blue optics.
Quick pulses from the kids – anxiety from Silverbolt, impatience from Air Raid – made Skyfire focus. It was so easy to get distracted, staring at his perfect creations and thinking about how much he loved them. And how much he loved their sire.
Star, where are you...?
“I... I'm afraid I don't know what happened to your sire,” Skyfire carefully admitted. “You felt your bonds with him break, correct?”
Silverbolt nodded, and Air Raid chirped.
“My bond with him broke as well,” said Skyfire. He was shocked by how calm his voice was, all while the grief continued to stab at his spark. “I haven't heard any news yet. I am sorry, but we'll have to wait for more information.”
“Shutter said you were hurt, too,” said Silverbolt, pressing harder against Skyfire's side.
“No, sweetspark, I'm alright,” said Skyfire, his hand rubbing soothing circles between Silverbolt's tense wings. “I just... tripped and fell, when the bond broke.”
Air Raid babbled something, a mix of words and sparkling warbles.
“He asked where Dad went,” Silverbolt translated for his little brother.
“He got a distress call from the Primes, and had to take the High Guard to help them,” said Skyfire. “They only left a few hours ago, so I'm sure we'll... we'll learn what happened soon.”
“Do you think he died?” Silverbolt asked, his bright optics wide with concern.
Skyfire's voice box shorted out, but he was spared from having to answer by Backburner returning.
The medic carried a large, cumbersome scanner in his arms. It was more powerful than a standard handheld scanner, able to peer through the layers of thick armor and electrical interference of a spark chamber.
“Alright,” said Backburner, setting the scanner down before turning to his patient. “Silverbolt, Air Raid, you'll have to let go for a few minutes while the scanner runs.”
“No,” grumbled Air Raid.
Silverbolt gave an unhappy whine.
“Please?” asked the medic, giving an exaggerated sad frown.
Skyfire couldn't help but smile. Not only was Backburner a close friend, but he'd also been the medic who helped deliver both winglets. He'd been a familiar presence their entire lives, and he knew the kids well enough to simply ask for their compliance.
Silverbolt reluctantly released his grip on his carrier, sitting back and scooting further down the berth – he kept one pede against Skyfire's leg, though.
Air Raid, however, clung tighter.
“I'm sorry, little bit,” said Skyfire, running a soothing hand down his youngest's back. “You have to let go for a moment.”
“No!” Air Raid whined. He refused to move, remaining firmly magnetized to his chassis.
Skyfire sighed. Air Raid's sparkling magnets had lost much of their strength as he grew – in fact, they were due to fade entirely within the next cycle. He wouldn't be difficult to pry off, but the bitty had already had a trying day. Skyfire didn't want to stress him out more.
Thank Primus, Silverbolt came to the rescue.
“Raid, you can stick to me, if you want,” Silverbolt offered, opening his arms.
Air Raid stared at his brother, clearly debating his options. After a minute, he made up his mind: “Bolt.”
He slowly deactivated his magnets and peeled himself off his carrier's plating. The little winglet landed on Skyfire's lap, then clambered over to where his brother sat, dramatically flinging himself into Silverbolt's arms.
Skyfire smiled, sending a pulse of gratitude to his firstborn. Silverbolt was only five cycles older than Air Raid, so he was barely twice his brother's size. Air Raid nearly knocked him over with that hug.
With Silverbolt distracting his little brother, Backburner adjusted the berth, allowing Skyfire to lie flat.
The medic positioned the scanner on his chest, directly above his spark. Skyfire had to fight the urge to cross his arms over himself.
“Comfortable?” asked Backburner, as he started the scanning program.
“As much as I can be,” Skyfire admitted. Quieter, he added: “My spark still hurts...”
The medic gave him a sympathetic nod, adjusting something on the scanner as he hooked it up to a data pad.
“I will keep an audial out for news,” said Backburner, speaking under his breath to avoid drawing the attention of the distracted sparklings. “If any in the High Guard were injured, would they be brought here, or to Iacon?”
“They have their own medic in Iacon,” muttered Skyfire. “A mech called Pharma. That's who they'd take him to, if he was wounded.”
Backburner nodded. “I know Pharma. He and Ratchet taught me everything I know. I'll reach out to him, once we're done here.”
“Thank you,” Skyfire breathed.
“Of course.”
They lapsed into comfortable silence, broken only by the whirring of the scanner, and the quiet tune Silverbolt was humming.
While Skyfire waited, trapped beneath the large scanner, his processor focused back on Starscream. He tried not to let the fear and anxiety run wild, but it was difficult, not knowing what had happened.
He was with his trine, Skyfire tried to reason. They wouldn't let anything happen to him. Neither would the rest of the High Guard. And if something did happen, surely we would have heard by now... Right?
Right?!
Beep!
The device on his chest completed its scan, sending the results to the data pad in Backburner's hand. The medic pulled the device off while the results loaded, adjusting the berth again so Skyfire could sit back up.
Instantly, his sons were back in his arms, nuzzling close. Air Raid magnetized himself to his plating again, while Silverbolt leaned heavily against his side, tucked under his arm. He felt his anxiety lessen again.
“Ah...” Backburner let out a quiet vent, as he carefully read over the scan results.
Skyfire's helm snapped up, locking optics with the medic.
“The results?” he asked – demanded, really.
“Your increased spark rate and unstable EM field are consistent with trauma to the spark, likely caused by the breaking of your endura bond,” Backburner quickly explained. “This will resolve with time, as your spark heals. Your energy levels, however...”
The medic hesitated again.
“Burner, what–”
Skyfire let out a sharp gasp. The hand that had been resting on Silverbolt's shoulder flew to his chest.
“Carrier!” Silverbolt's voice was muffled by static.
An uncomfortable wave of pressure and heat passed through his spark. Then he felt something he'd only experienced two other times.
Something knocked against the inside of his spark casing.
Just once. A tiny little tap. Not painful, but unique.
The first contact, before it began its orbit.
Skyfire was breathing hard when he came back to his senses, a moment later. He hadn't moved at all, his hand still pressed firmly against his chest. The plating beneath his digits had become warm and tender.
“Was that... what I think it was...?” he gasped, his voice breaking. He felt coolant start to well up in his optics.
“It was, my friend,” said Backburner, his kind voice low and sympathetic. “You're sparked.”