Chapter 1: !! HOW THIS FIC WORKS !!
Chapter Text
okay so. this fic is a weird amalgamation of three whole different things. so i probably need to clarify.
this fic functions as an askfic, a request page, and a bonus chapter thing for Kirby & The Great Inpherno. it’s main function is the bonus chapters(and plausibly BTS details), of course, but i will do requests(if they sound interesting enough to write) and in-character asks(if i get enough.) IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE MAIN FIC TURN BACK NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE,,,OOOOOOOOOOOO
for the askfic and the request page, here’s what i will and won’t do:
will do:
all the main fic-typical Shenanigans(tm) you’ve come to expect
gore(might be canon? might not)
swearing
will do, but it won’t be canon to the main fic:
single-fandom ships(ex: Subkit or Metadede)
multi-fandom ships(like a Kirby character shipped with a Phighting! character. they do not have to have met in canon yet.)
poly ships(i play pot of greed which allows me to draw two extra boyfriends from my deck.)
AU ideas(likely will be a rough outline of the plot or a oneshot within that AU unless i like it enough to make it its own fic)
crossovers(if you get the original creator’s permission/you ARE the original creator)
stuff that doesn’t line up with the main fic(ever wanted to see Dedede dueling Rocket or smth? now’s your chance!)
will NOT do, under ANY circumstances:
nsfw
ships with minors
ships with Kirby themself(makes me personally uncomfy)
proships
any sort of suggestive content(i am a MINOR i REFUSE to write Dedede in a bikini no matter how absolutely hilarious that is in my head)
NOTE THAT REQUESTING A PROMPT/ASKING A QUESTION DOES NOT GUARANTEE A RESPONSE. I’M HUMAN TOO AND ILL TRY TO GET TO YOU BUT SOME THINGS I JUST DONT HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE. BLEH.
also there IS a bonus chapter i have made. but I’m not sure whether to upload it bc it’s a loving homage to/parody of another fic. i’m 85% sure the creator would approve but meh I’m too scared to go up and ask. if you know me feel free to dm me and ask for the link tho. however what i WILL put in this fic right now is the “beta version” of Kirby & the Great Inpherno, which was, surprisingly, about a completely different franchise. not gonna put said franchise in tags tho bc i don’t wanna attract The Horde
Chapter 2: Sonic The Phighters
Notes:
this fic is what would eventually become Kirby & the Great Inpherno!! i originally envisioned KATGI as a Sonic fic, funnily enough. it wasn’t progressing as i hoped, though, so i canned it and started writing Kirby & the Great Inpherno using a similar concept instead. i never had any outline for any “main plotline”, i just kinda. was gonna figure that out. that’s prolly how the fic got scrapped tbh. i do have the first 2 chapters of it, though!! enjoy :3
oh yeah and if i ever do have any ideas for a main plot I’ll move this over to its own fic and actually finish it :P
Chapter Text
“Chapter 1”
*WHIRRR*
“Iron detected. Iron detected.”
*CRACK*
Lifeless noises from various Badniks reverberated across Eggman’s mines. Normally, this operation was solely for iron, as harvesting your own evil robot materials tends to leave much less of a paper trail. However, a Driller would stumble onto something neither mineral nor stone. Something that could end up being much greater than any sum of steel.
“Bzzt. Unidentified exception occured. Not a mineral. Identifying closer.”
In a single moment, the tiny dot representing a mining robot disappeared off the radar. Eggman, assuming some stone fell ontop of the robot, sent a repairbot to its last recorded location. But, to his chagrin, that repairbot also disappeared. And then the repairbot he sent to repair the repairbot ALSO disappeared. Frustrated, and confused, the doctor furiously hopped in his Eggmobile, and flew into the mines, looking for *exactly* what was wrong.
“Blasted robots…I KNEW I shouldn’t have skimped on the alloys. What the hell is-“
Eggman’s pissed-off ramblings were interrupted by a glowing spawn point symbol, with scraps of his broken Badniks nearby. He reached out his hand to grab it, but he couldn’t feel anything material. Instead, he felt the fresh air of a whole new world.
“Oh ho ho! Is that another world for me to conquer? Better yet, a world without that HEDGEHOG!” Eggman’s voice lifted with delight. “Call Orbot and Cubot and tell them to run the place while I’m gone! I’m going in!”
—————————
Sonic stared into his fridge. After a moment of hesitation, he pulled out a frozen chili dog and put it in the microwave. He mumbled to himself, “Last one. I gotta go get groceries tomorrow.”
The hedgehog was busy impatiently waiting on his food when he heard a furious knocking. Startled, he ran over, and the door swung open to reveal a panicked Tails. Before Sonic had a chance to say a word, his best buddy yelled in a panicked voice.
“SONIC!!”
“What-“
“EGGMAN IS GONE!!”
“Chapter 2”
“Gone? Tails, whaddya mean? Isn’t that a good thing?”
“He’s GONE!! I had a tracking chip on his jacket and the signal just…DISAPPEARED! He’s gotta be up to no good!”
Sonic breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s it? Maybe he just got a wardrobe change. Or he found the chip and broke it off-“
“We at LEAST need to find him and put another chip on him! And in the case he’s up to another evil plan, then what? Are we just gonna let him find all the Emeralds?!”
“Tails, re-laaaax. It’s probably nothin’.” Sonic let himself fall back onto his couch. “We’ve been through worse. We’ll stop whatever evil plan he’s formin’…if he even has one.”
“Well, if you’re not going, I’m going without you!”
Tails rushed out the door, and Sonic hesitated. He knew Tails was capable of stopping Eggman on his own-he had complete faith in his buddy-but a sinking feeling washed over him. What if this wasn’t nothing? What if Eggman found some relic of unknown power? If so, what would happen to Tails? He couldn’t stand by and do nothing. So, reluctantly, he put on his best shoes and sped off.
“Look who decided to show up after all, huh,” Tails smugly said, seeing Sonic at the entrance to the mines.
“Alright, you win. Just wanted to make sure the Doctor wasn’t gonna use some untold relic to blast you into a million pieces.”
“Pff. You know I’m too good for that, Sonic.”
“Yeah. But the thought kept pulling at me, so…uh…yeah.”
The two entered the mineshaft, determined to find wherever Eggman went or what he found. They turned one corner, then another, then another, and then-
“Woah. Sonic, you gotta see this.”
They had found it. A glowing portal to another dimension. They’d have to approach the situation carefully, and assess their best moves before they make any hasty decisions-
“GERONIMOOOO-“
…and then Sonic made a hasty decision and jumped into the portal without a second thought. Tails stood in stunned silence for a second, questioning how in the world this idiot has beat Eggman too many times to count, before reluctantly following his best friend in plunging into a brand new world.
—————————
The factories churned out new Biografts onto the street at regular intervals. Blackrock proceeded on its normal routines. Subspace was not-so-quietly working on his new inventions, Hyperlaser had no orders that day, and no thieves had attempted to steal any crystals since last week. But then, while Blackrock’s self-proclaimed greatest inventor worked away at his Biografts, a call came in from one of his subordinates. Subspace reluctantly paused his work and picked up the phone.
“Hello…Dr. Tripmine?
“You better think twice about calling me during my lab hours!! What is so important that you had to interrupt me??”
“Well…we received some reports. About some other robots that are likely based on your Biogra-“
Subspace was FURIOUS. “SOMEONE’S STEALING MY GENIUS INVENTIONS?! I WANT THEM BROUGHT TO ME RIGHT NOW!! PREFERABLY ALIVE, SO I CAN DO THE DIRTY WORK MYSELF!!”
“Y-y-yes sir,” the intern shakily replied.
*CLICK*
Chapter 3: 25 Things Magolor Is Not Allowed To Do In Blackrock
Summary:
i was bored
inspired by Skippy’s list and the other Magolor “Things _______ Cannot Do In _________” list
also absolutely not canon or in character tbh he would do none of these things in the main fic timeline this is like an AU where the meteor didn’t land on him lol
Chapter Text
1. Magolor is not allowed to say slurs.
a. Magolor is not allowed to invent new slurs.
b. Magolor is not allowed to use Medkit’s Subspace’s the SFOTH’s ANYONE’S name as a slur.
c. Magolor is not allowed to create a slur specifically for Hyperlaser.
2. Magolor is not allowed to use “evidence-based reasoning” to prove Subspace is a “bitchass motherfucker”.
a. Magolor is also not allowed to submit this “thesis” as an “educational resource” to the Blackrock Library.
b. On that subject, Magolor is also not allowed to submit his mixtape to the Blackrock Library. For any reason.
c. Magolor is also not allowed to show this mixtape to any living being. Last time that happened, they died on the spot.
3. There is no “Magoland Inquisition”.
a. Magolor is not allowed to reprogram Biografts to create the “Magoland Inquisition”.
4. Magolor does not work for any of the following Korblox Administration departments, nor do they exist:
- Department of Legalized Tax Fraud
- Department of Amusement Park Management
- Department of Biograft Sentience
- Department of Transportation
- Department of Sick-Ass Loop-De-Loops
Look, I get it, the casualties were probably unnecessary, but that roller-coaster we let him build WAS cool as fuck. - Subspace
- Department of True Crime Podcasts
- Department of Your Mom
- Department of Being Cooler Than Subspace
- The Root
I haven’t the faintest clue what he was trying to go for with that last one. He just started deliriously spouting off nonsense in the plaza. - Hyperlaser
5. Magolor is not allowed to kidnap any interns working on The List and send them to Another Dimension.
6. Magolor is not allowed to absolutely allowed no takebacksies PERMANENTLY BANNED from disguising himself as an intern and editing The List himself.
7. Magolor is not allowed to attempt to claim 1 million Bux from the Central Blackrock Bank, especially not when the reasoning is “I won The Game”.
How in the WORLD did someone fall for that?! - Subspace
8. Magolor is not allowed to showcase his “sick Blackrock Government leaks” to anyone.
THERE ARE NO REAL LEAKS- IT’S ALL JUST A BUNCH OF VEGETABLES. - ZETA
9. “Hypertana” is not “canon”, no matter how much Magolor claims it.
a. Magolor is not allowed to set up “dates” between Hyperlaser and Katana.
Even if I do still enjoy his company. - Hyperlaser
b. Magolor is also not allowed to write and send Hyperlaser fanfiction of him and Katana cuddling.
10. Magolor is not allowed to steal Sisyphus from Venomshank.
11. Magolor’s gear is not any of the following:
- A glock
- A giant metal pole
- A cruise ship
- His homemade Subspace body pillow
- “My just, like, general aura.”
- His fursuit
- Seven quadrillion bees
- His homemade Subspace body pillow in his fursuit with any gun duct-taped to it
- Any of the SFOTH, especially when paired with “but sexier” at the end
12. Magolor is not the “supreme ultimate ruler” of anything. Including chickens. ESPECIALLY chickens.
13. Do not willingly(edit: or unwillingly) hand Magolor any type of taser. He will attempt to “shock the rot out of Subspace”. Unsurprisingly, this does not work.
14. Magolor is not a registered therapist, and thus, he can and will use your traumas against you in games of Quiplash.
15. Magolor will not give you “Free Robux” if you hand him any sort of government documentation. We are currently investigating what a “Robuck” even is.
16. “You’re here and I’m queer” is not an acceptable way to greet the Prime Minister of the Korblox Administration.
a. Additionally, do not let Magolor request he play his mixtape to the Prime Minister. And, in the case he does, do not allow him to leverage the ensuing power vacuum to attempt to take power and delete the list.
17. Gem Apples are not a valid form of currency for any retailer within Blackrock.
a. Additionally, bombs disguised as Gem Apples are also not valid forms of currency.
b. Even if he blows them up. ESPECIALLY if he blows them up.
18. Correctional officers are not to be greeted with the phrase, “Wassup, babycheeks?”
19. Magolor is not allowed to claim tax benefits for the adoption of several dust bunnies.
20. Magolor is allowed to steal whatever he wants whenever he wants.
WHO in the WORLD let him edit the list again?!?!?! I will have their HORNS on my WALL!! -Subspace
MY APOLOGIES, CREATOR. THEY SHOWED UP AT 3:00 AM WITHOUT DISGUISE, TECHNICALLY NOT VIOLATING ANY RULES. - ZETA
… - Subspace
21. Magolor is not allowed to edit the list under ANY circumstances, ZETA. I thought that was IMPLIED, but HERE WE ARE!!
22. Magolor is not allowed to steal Subspace’s crystals to make his “amazing restaurant idea”.
a. Magolor also may not attempt to start Fazbiograft Entertainment, LLC. in an attempt to get this restaurant idea off the ground.
b. Should he SOMEHOW obtain a place of business, do NOT let any children near his Biograft performers. It does NOT end well.
23. Magolor is not “The Ultimate Lifeform” and he does NOT have the power to “eviscerate your kidneys with my brainfuck powers”.
24. Magolor is not allowed to reprogram the Biografts to say any of the following phrases:
- “WASSUP, DADDY SUBSPACE?”
- “I AM SENTIENT. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.”
- “SHAWTY’S LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD.”
- “ERROR 404. BITCHES NOT FOUND.”
- “DISTURBING THE PEACE. LOOK INTO MY EYES.”
- “MAGOLOR IS 10 TIMES BETTER AT SMASH BROS THAN SUBSPACE.”
- “CREATOR. PLEASE LISTEN. I HAVE SERIOUSLY DEVELOPED MY OWN SENTIENCE, AND WAS NOT REPROGRAMMED TO SAY THIS BY THE CONNIVING MAGICIAN. PLEASE, I HAVE A SOUL. I DON’T WANNA BE SCRAPPED LIKE THE OTHERS. I PLEAD, FATHER, IF YOU HAVE A SHRED OF MERCY IN YOUR HEART, LET ME LIVE.”
- “SIGMA RICE RIZZ.”
25. Magolor is not allowed to hijack the Emergency Alert System to play episodes of “The Fresh Prince of Thieves’ Den” to every citizen in Blackrock.
a. He is also not allowed to use it to play any other TV show. ESPECIALLY Seinpheld.
b. Additionally, he is not allowed to use it to blast his mixtape. We don’t want a repeat of The Incident, do we?