Chapter Text
Grace was feeling a lot of things here lately. She didn’t even know how to feel about everything right now. It all seemed so complicated; she seemed so complicated. She wasn’t sure how to deal with it all. Luckily, Steph was there to help her through most of it. Pete, too, but he wasn’t as close to her as Steph was. The one thing Steph hadn’t helped her through, because Grace never said anything about it, was her feelings for Steph herself.
Grace had felt nervous around Steph since the beginning of her senior year, when Steph had defended her from Max’s advances. She would get butterflies in her tummy whenever Steph was around, but she always brushed it off as “the holy spirit calling her to help”. She had realized after Max died that this wasn’t the case. She had a crush… on Stephanie Lauter, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
She had prayed to God countless times, begging him to take this plight away from her, but it was to no avail. It was like God hadn’t even heard her cries or seen her tear-stained pillows. She had given up on that plan, deciding that if God wouldn’t help her, she’d take this into her own hands.
She wasn’t much better at it. She read through countless chapters of the Bible and even searched up how to get rid of gay thoughts on the internet, which her parents weren’t the biggest fans of. They thought the internet was filled with terrible sins, so she had to sneak onto the family computer to continue her search.
What she didn’t know, however, was that she needed to delete that search. Otherwise, her parents would be able to see it and understand how she was feeling. This is how she found herself sitting at the dinner table, her parents hovering over her. Her mother looked worried and sad, and her father looked genuinely angry, which scared Grace. “Mom, Dad? What’s wrong…?” She asked, looking between her parents, obviously confused.
Her father hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the computer in the study, frowning down at her. “Do you want to explain why you were searching up ‘how to get rid of gay thoughts’ on the computer?” He questioned, folding his arms and tapping his foot impatiently on the wood floor as he awaited an answer.
Grace’s heart sank, and she felt like she would be sick. They saw her search… She swallowed hard, her throat feeling like it hadn’t had water in days. “I…” She started, only to get cut off by her father’s sharp voice.
“Not only did you disobey us by getting on the internet in the first place, but we find out you’re a homosexual as well?” His voice started to rise, making Grace flinch and shrink. She had never heard her dad raise his voice, especially not at her… “Is there anything else we should know about, Gracelynn Mary Chasity?” Her father was practically shouting now, making her cover her ears. She hated shouting; that’s why she never liked going to sports games. She also hated that her father used her full name. Her parents never did that. She was a good girl, she thought, so it was torture to be shouted at by her own dad.
“No…! I’m a good girl, I swear!” Grace cries out, tears welling in her eyes. She felt like she was going to throw up. This was awful. She didn’t know how kids could go through this. She’d rather die.
“Good girls don’t disobey their parents, Gracelynn,” Her father said sternly, holding his hand out. “Only good girls get to have their phone,” He replied when Grace gave him a confused look.
Grace nodded, handing her phone over. Her father sighed, pointing to the front door. “Get out. I don’t want to see you right now. Maybe if you fix whatever’s gotten into you while you’re gone, I’ll allow you back inside,” He said firmly, showing Grace he wasn’t joking.
She felt the tears threatening to fall start falling hard. She couldn’t stop them, no matter how hard she tried. Her vision blurred as she stood from her chair, stumbling towards the door. She swung the door open, pausing in the doorway, hoping her parents would change their minds. They didn’t. Even her own mother didn’t say anything. She took a shaky breath, letting the door swing closed, then… she ran.
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Grace didn’t know when she got to Stephanie Lauter’s house. She didn’t even know that’s where she was going. Her feet just led her there without her knowing. She knocked on the door, hearing a thump inside the darkened house. After some shuffling noises, the door opened, revealing a tired and annoyed-looking Stephanie. The annoyance quickly faded as she saw the tear streaks on Grace’s face. “Grace…? What’s wrong?”
Grace let out a shaky sob, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She didn’t even put on her shoes. She was still in her pajamas. “I’m sorry, Stephie, I just… didn’t know where else to go…!” She takes heaving breaths, feeling like her chest is getting smaller by the second. Steph put a gentle hand on her shoulder, speaking in a calm voice.
“It’s alright, Grace. Just tell me what happened, okay?”
Grace nodded, calming her breathing as she opened her mouth to speak. “My parents kicked me out… They were mad because…” She felt a lump in her throat, but she managed to swallow it down. “I’m… I’m gay, Stephie…” She admitted, fidgeting with her hands.
Steph’s face softened even further, smiling at Grace. “Welcome to the club, Chasity,” She said, gently running her thumb over Grace’s shoulder in a comforting gesture. Grace blinked, letting out a sigh of relief.
“You… you aren’t mad at me?” She asked, wiping her nose.
Steph laughed, patting Grace’s shoulder. “I’d be a hypocrite if I were.”
Grace let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, smiling back at Steph. “Thanks, Stephie…” She went quiet for a moment, looking away. “Can I… stay at your place for a while? At least while I’m kicked out. I don’t have anywhere else to go…”
Steph smiled even more at Grace, stepping aside. “Of course, stay as long as you need.”
Grace suddenly wrapped Steph in a hug, relieved to have someone on her side. “Thank you, Stephie…” She whispered, holding her tight.
Steph relaxed in Grace’s grip after a moment, hugging her back. “Any time.”
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Grace and Steph sat quietly on the couch for the next few minutes, Grace leaning against Steph’s side and talking about anything and everything. Steph just smiled at Grace’s rambling, running her hands through her hair and braiding it like they were having a sleepover. Neither one of them has had one of those in a while.
After a while, though neither Steph nor Grace could tell you how long had actually passed, Grace asked Steph if she had any movies. Steph snorted, pulling up Netflix and scrolling through all the movies and shows it had. “Take your pick, Chasity.”
Grace saw a show that looked good. She pointed it out. Steph paused, looking at Grace. “You sure? It doesn’t seem like your type of show…” She explained, but Grace shrugged. It looked like a good, clean kids’ show. Inside Job. What about it could be bad?
Grace quickly learned what Steph meant. This show may have been animated, but it was… very inappropriate. She had to cover her ears at some of the words and moments, but despite this, it wasn’t that bad. “Is the government really hiding all this from us?” She asked after the first episode. Steph shrugged.
“A lot of this is bullshit, but I’m sure the government isn’t being super honest with the general public,” She explained, leaning back against the couch casually, like this was completely fine.
Grace gaped at Steph. “How are you so calm about this?! How can we even trust the government if they’re lying?” She blabbed on, but Steph put a gentle hand on her shoulder, smiling calmly at her.
“Grace, it’s just a show. Plus, I’ve always been a conspiracy theorist. You should have your own opinions on this stuff.”
Grace calmed down, sitting back down beside Steph. “You’re right, sorry… I’m just used to always agreeing with my parents on everything.”
Steph frowned at Grace, patting her shoulder. “You never have to apologize for that, Grace. It’s fine.” She let Grace lean back against her, and they watched the rest of the season. Grace ended up really liking it, too.
“Thanks for that, Stephie. I feel a lot better now,” Grace said with a yawn, lying against her chest.
Steph nodded, petting Grace’s head as she turned the TV off. “Of course, you can always come to me with stuff like this, you know?”
Grace nodded too, her eyes fluttering closed. “Yeah… That’s why I like you, Stephie… Maybe as more than a friend.”
Steph blinked, her face flushing slightly at the sudden admission. She went to say something, but Grace was already fast asleep. Steph smiled, leaning back and whispering, “I like you too, Grace.”