Archive of Our Own ^beta

Keith liked to think he was secure in his relationship. I mean, why wouldn’t he?

He had the best boyfriend.

Probably better than he deserved, but his boyfriend would disagree with him in an instant.

Despite their bickering, Lance knew when he was taking something too far and would apologize. Like, genuinely stop, sit down, have a conversation, and apologize. It was mind boggling to Keith who grew up in foster care where ‘sorrys’ were half-assed and not really meant. It took a few months of dating for Keith to realize that apologizing after someone does something that upsets is you actually the standard.

Besides that, Lance also was really caring. A lot of people would think because Lance talked a lot, it meant he wasn’t attentive, but that was obviously proven wrong. He held Keith, kissed Keith, told him how much he loved him, helped him when he was stressed about work or anything else, and genuinely listened.

And Keith felt loved. Really loved. He went to bed with a full heart and smile on his face because he had a boyfriend—someone who loved and cherished him in a way he didn’t know he needed.

He was happy..

But, despite all of those things, Keith still couldn’t help but feel insecure.

Because of one thing: He was asexual.

-

It was a long, tiring day. Keith just got done working on a car that’d been giving him issues in the shop. He had to call someone more experienced to come look at it and explain everything to him, and even then, it felt kind of overwhelming—and in the end, it wasn’t even done. He still had to work on the stupid thing tomorrow.

But honestly, that wasn’t even the thing that stressed him out the most at work.

He knew that working in a car mechanic shop, it’d probably be a mostly straight and non-queer field to be a part of. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what he was getting into when he signed up at a car shop. But it didn’t make hearing what his co-workers said any easier.

Today, he was working on that stupid 1989 Mustang, his face getting oil and grease on in it with his hands to match while he overheard his co-workers.

It was mostly just them saying sexist stuff, talking badly about their wives. All things Keith really couldn’t grasp saying about your partner. But the icing on the cake was when they were talking about their sex lives—ew.

David and Bill, his two older co-workers, were saying how their wives don’t sleep with them as much as they used to. They both were bothered and had no idea why their wives weren’t “fulfilling their carnal needs”

Keith just thinks they should have sex with each other to be honest, that made him snicker, but he kept quiet at his own joke.

However, as the two of them kept going on and on about sex this, sex that—they didn’t want their wives outside of sex—it started to weigh down on Keith.

Okay, he knew these guys sucked and their marriages were falling apart... But they were making it sound like every relationship believed that... That sex was the most important thing.

When he came out to Lance as asexual, his boyfriend told him they didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to do. At first, Keith was kind of unsure—Lance was pretty sexually active before they dated. But when he asked about it, Lance said that he could care less and just wanted to be with Keith.

Initially, Keith didn’t doubt him after that. They did intimacy without sex in their own way and that made them both happy. But now that he’s hearing his co-workers talk so badly about that kind of stuff, it made him wonder...

Did Lance feel that way...?

So now here he was, getting out of the hot shower that washed the oil away with a towel wrapped around his waist, doubt pounding in his mind. He walked into his and Lance’s shared bedroom, a few drops of water trickling from his hair and chin.

There on the bed was Lance, who was waiting for his boyfriend to finish his shower so they could finally spend time together. The second he saw Keith he got up with a wide grin and strutted right over.

“Hey babe!” He exclaimed before pinching Keith’s chin between his thumb and pointer to give him a greeting kiss.

The kiss was warm and wet from the lingering moisture on Keith, but he kissed his boyfriend back eagerly. He placed his hands on Lance’s shoulders, feeling his blue cotton shirt and let out a hum.

Soon, they pulled away with their lips making a disconnecting sound and Lance softly asked, “How was work, baby?”

Keith sighed and rested his forehead on Lance’s collarbone. “Tiring. Long.” He murmured back. He didn’t know if he wanted to talk about it or not.

Lance kissed his damp hair and made a sympathetic sound. “Awwe, I’m sorry, cariño...” He apologized, making his boyfriend feel soft.

The kiss made Keith’s heart do a flip but then a tinge of guilt tugged at his chest. “It’s fine.” He replied quietly.

But it wasn’t fine—his mind was making his stomach churn with self-doubt, and he wasn’t sure if he should say anything. What if Lance confessed that he was finally done waiting? What if he was pent up? What if he was getting bored of Keith?

It seemed Lance caught on to something because softly he questioned, “Are you okay? You seem kinda upset,” He knew that Keith had kind of a shitty work environment, but he didn’t normally look so downhearted.

The question broke him out of his thoughts, and he shook his head. “I guess I am?” He replied and watched Lance quirk an eyebrow. “I don’t know, just some co-workers saying some stuff,” He attempted to dismiss. He wasn’t one to enjoy vulnerability.

Instantly, Lance held his face and squished his cheeks. “What did they say to you? Were they being assholes again? Do I need to pretend to be a customer and file a complaint to their boss?” His questions came out as a protective rapid fire, and it made Keith flush a bit.

“Uhmf-- Ass’foles, yesh--” His words slurred from the hands and he furrowed his eyebrows before forcibly removing them from his face. Lance huffed but he continued, “They didn’t say anything to me. Just saying bad things about their wives,” He tried to seem apathic to it, but the way he crossed his arms and looked away from Lance made him look more defensive than he realized.

Lance made a disgusted face and stuck his tongue out, “Ew. I don’t understand people like that.” And he really didn’t-- he grew up with parents who loved each other a lot and didn’t bad mouth each other. At least not in front of people they weren’t well acquainted with. “But you seem more bothered than usual about it, what’s up, babes?” He asked, stroking one of Keith’s strong arms.

Embarrassment tugged at Keith’s chest, and he found himself leaning into the touch, still only in a towel. He felt so exposed and small, yet something about the way Lance touched him made him feel safe.

Licking his lips, he slowly picked out his words. “Do you ever feel like... sexually repressed in our relationship?” He asked hesitantly.

Lance’s eyes widened and he exclaimed, “Wow! Uhm—definitely didn’t expect that.” Keith flushed in embarrassment, so he quickly added, “But no...? Why?” This wasn’t where he expected the conversation to go.

Shame took Keith over, and he wrapped his arms around himself, though the reassuring words did bring some closure to him. “I don’t know? They were saying how their partner needs to fill their “carnal needs” or whatever, and I guess I just got worried I wasn’t...” He didn’t want to finish that sentence, but the words, ‘Enough’ stayed on his tongue.

The crudeness of the “carnal needs” statement made Lance wince, and he quickly wrapped Keith in a tight, firm hug. He didn’t mind the dampness of his boyfriend from the shower; he could change anyway. Maybe shirtlessly cuddle. “Baby... that’s dumb. Also, your co-workers sound like they’re creeps.” He bit back.

The hug made Keith sigh, and he leaned in, nosing Lance’s neck and breathing in his coconut body wash. “They are, but I just feel bad...” He couldn’t help it. Lance met all his needs, but was he meeting all of Lance’s?

A small sigh was exhaled from Lance who rubbed his back, grazing the muscle there in a way that ever so slightly calmed Keith’s thoughts. “Look, I love sex—sex is great! But I’m also pretty happy just rubbing one out and cuddling you instead, baby.” He so eloquently stated.

A hot blush went on Keith’s face, and he hid his face further into Lance’s neck. “You’re so gross,” He sniffed.

But Lance just patted his bum and said, “Butttt it made you feel better,” He waggled his brows.

Keith snorted. It did make him feel better. Stupid Lance.

“You’re stupid...” He said in such a soft voice that the words held no weight.

The other simply smiled softly back and pecked his lips, squeezing his butt again which made Keith huff and laugh into the kiss. Lance was handsy, but it felt playful and intimate over sexual—at least to him. He felt comfortable because he knew Lance would never do anything he didn’t want to do.

He booped his nose. “Maybe, but what does that make you?” He grinned.

Keith hummed and bit back. “Desperate?”

That quickly earned a scoff from Lance, and he let go of his boyfriend. “Uhg! Rude!” He exclaimed with a glare.

A little snicker fell from Keith’s lips, and he walked off to their closet. He grabbed a black t shirt with black boxers and put them on quickly. Lance was turned away, out of respect, and flopped on the bed in awaiting.

Once he was done getting dressed, he crawled into the bed with Lance and snuggled into him. Lance wrapped his arms around him then placed a chaste kiss on the top of his head.

They were quiet for a moment before Lance softly questioned, “But you’re still upset, right?” He brushed a hand gently through Keith’s hair.

He sighed and nodded reluctantly. “Yeah... it’s hard not to.” It really was. I mean, it’s not like he’s 100% sure they’re not going to have sex ever—just not for the foreseeable future. He wouldn’t exactly say he’s sexually repulsed, but he just didn’t feel anything there. Maybe in the future he’d like sex in his own way, maybe he wouldn’t.

However, that doesn’t change the fact that they’re not doing anything right now.

Lance pouted and squeezed him tighter. “You’re not like, not meeting my needs, Keith. You’re being dumb,” He flicked his forehead.

The flick caught Keith off guard and he hissed. “You asshole--! Don’t flick me,” He bit Lance’s collar as payback.

The other yipped and pulled his hair away, “Bad! Bad Keith! Bad!” He chided like a dog and kept pulling until Keith unlatched those almost dog-like canines. Seriously! Ouch!

Keith huffed before relenting and going back to cuddling him like a normal person and not a rabid animal. “It’s just hard to believe I’m not failing something in our relationship.” He rubbed his nose into Lance’s chest and felt lanky arms wrap around him.

“Well, you’re gonna have to try because I am very happy.” He reassured, pressing a few kisses to the top of Keith’s black hair. The other sighed and cuddled closer.

That made a pang go through Keith’s chest, and he felt warm. As much as he didn’t want to believe Lance, he knew that he probably should. “Fine... I guess I can try,” He murmured back reluctantly before blowing a gust of wind onto his shirt.

The cold breeze made Lance jolt, and he knocked on his forehead. “You’re a very bad boy.” He said playfully.

A small smile went across Keith’s face. “But you’re still dating me.” He reminded while playing with the soft fabric beneath him, listening to Lance’s heartbeat. It was his favorite thing to do after a bad day; just listen to the familiar rhythm.

Slowly, Lance started to scritch the top of Keith’s scalp and felt the other melt into him. “Yeah.” then he gave his hair a playful tug and Keith whined annoyedly. “And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way, Mullet.” He grinned before giving him a tight squeeze.

A wheeze was ripped from Keith and he smacked Lance a few times, “Fucking let go, Lance--” He managed to get out.

There was a hum of contemplation before Lance sighed and responded with, “Alright...” Then released him.

Keith wheezed and glare dup at his boyfriend, “Asshole. This is why I don’t have sex with you.” He dryly joked.

A pout was formed across Lance’s face as he replied with, “You’re a meanie.” Then squeezed Keith’s cheeks a few times, mushing them around as Keith glared. He laughed and squished his face into a smile, then a frown, then a smile, then a frown. He knew he was being obnoxious, but he didn’t care.

Even though he wanted to continue furrowing his eyebrows at him, he ended up cracking an actual smile. “You’re a goofball...” He attempted to tease but it just came out more fond than anything.

He dragged his face into a frown again. “Your goofball, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” And Lance sounded just as whipped.

Keith hummed happily, and Lance continued playing with his face a few times before letting go and snuggling up with him. Keith wrapped his arms around Lance and went back to burying his face, their heartbeats becoming in sync as they just appreciated each other's air and presence.

Ever so quietly, Lance whispered, “I love you...” While kissing the top of Keith’s hair a few times. His heart was so warm for this man, and he didn’t care if they never had sex—he just wanted Keith. his Keith.

A small blush went across Keith’s face, and he easily said. “I love you too...” Even though insecurity still trickled through him, he had a hard time believing them when Lance’s words sounded so utterly genuine. Softly, he added. “Thank you for accepting me... For being ace...”

A wide smile was slapped right onto Lance’s lips, and he gave him one more squeeze, “You don’t have to thank me, Samurai. Just let me love you, okay?” He tilted his head and looked down at his boyfriend.

In a peacefully quiet voice, he just whispered back, “Okay...” Before they shared a sweet kiss.

Maybe he’d still have doubts about their sex life, and maybe sometimes he’d feel not enough. But as he laid down with Lance, his arms right around him, he did believe one thing...

Lance would be there for him no matter what.

And for now?

That was enough to keep the insecurities away.