Chapter Text
2005
It took a few weeks for Cam to move in. Pepper was upset that Cam was leaving, but didn’t beg him to stay this time. He’d just known that a return trip home was a bad idea. Mitch offered to share his room, but Cam said he would be fine in the basement. Mitch and Phil kept apologizing until Cam told them not to.
“You’re in mourning and you will be for however long you need. I’m more than willing to help you and the kids through it.” Cam said. In the back of his mind, he remembered what Claire said about not having to lie to himself, but pushed it away. Would there ever be a good time? Maybe, but not now.
Cam couldn’t help but imagine what it might be like to date him. Especially when they were all going through it together and they were trying to give the kids a happy life. Haley was a bit withdrawn. She hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone for a while. Alex asked for her mom a lot up until Mitch’s birthday in July.
Cam, like Mitch, worked at the theatre, mostly with music. He then got into costume and was given parts. He decided it would be his full time job. Currently, the theatre was on a break, so Phil and Mitch were at work while he was a homebody. He didn’t mind. The girls liked him and he was a big help with the baby.
Cam hummed, decorating the cake with a frosting ’32’ and colorful candles around it. He heard Luke crying upstairs and went to go get him. He picked up Luke and changed him. Luke was staring at him, babbling. Cam babbled back. Then before Cam could put a fresh diaper on him, he peed. Cam shut his mouth, but it was too late. He put a fresh diaper on him, then put him back in the crib. Luke complained.
“Just a minute so I can change.”
Luke started screaming while Cam was changing, waking Alex from her nap. Cam picked him up when he got back and rocked him. He took the kids downstairs to where Haley was coloring. She liked to draw Claire. Stick figures with blonde hair. Alex joined her in coloring. Hers were more scribbles.
Cam prepped a bottle while holding Luke. He was looking at the cake. “Yummy, right?”
“Bbbbpppth…”
“Goodness, really?”
“Eeeevvv”
Cam giggled, causing Luke to smile. “Okay, then, here’s the bottle. Gotta give it a little shake and make sure it’s not too hot.”
“Eh!” Luke grabbed for it as Cam tested it on his hand. “Ehhh!”
“Okay, warm enough without being too hot. And since it’s yours, it’s Luke-warm.” Luke stared him dead in the eyes for a second before grabbing the bottle. “It’s okay, humor is subjective. And not understood amongst babies.”
After Luke’s bottle, Cam took the kids out for a walk. Luke and Alex were in a stroller while Haley walked next to them. They went to a store to look for a present for Mitch. Cam hummed again, browsing. He found a shirt he thought Mitch would like. He’d also handmade something, but it was taking a while to paint and he didn’t want Mitch knowing yet. He was just happy that most paint sessions were at nap time and Haley had been with Phil or Mitch.
“Haley, honey, do you want to pick up something for Uncle Mitchell?” Haley looked at him and shook her head. “Okay. Do you want to draw something for him?”
She shook her head again. He shrugged and they left the store, walking to the park. Alex liked running in the grass, so he let her out and watched her. She tried to get Haley to play princess, but Haley wasn’t having it. Luckily, there were other kids Alex’s age she could play with.
“Unca Cam, I can pay wif the kids?” Alex asked.
“Ask their mommies if it’s okay first.”
“Otay!” She ran over to the group and then ran back. “Dey say it otay.”
Cam chuckled. “Go ahead, sweetie, but make sure you stay where you can see me.”
“Uh-huh!” Alex ran back to play with the kids.
Haley sighed and sat down, pulling out blades of grass. Cam took Luke out of the stroller and put down a blanket so he could sit. Cam had a toy Luke was playing with while also being distracted. He’d look back at Alex occasionally who was having fun.
“She didn’t go nowhere.” Haley mumbled. “I looked too.”
“It’s always good to have another pair of eyes. Why don’t you play with them?”
“Why?”
“Well, just because you’re both girls, doesn’t mean you’ll like the same things. When you’re older, maybe one of you wants to play princess and the other doesn’t.”
“No more princess.”
“Aw, I don’t mind playing princess with you.”
“You’re not the queen.”
He normally would say he was a queen, but he knew what she was talking about. “I know, honey, I’m sorry. It won’t hurt this bad forever.”
“I don’t wanna forget her.”
“None of us want to forget her. We try to make sure your mom’s still a part of your lives. I wish I knew her longer, but you do have two people who did. Dad will have a lot of stories about when they had you and when they were married. Uncle Mitchell’s known her his entire life.”
“Kids forget stuff.”
“True. But we’ll try our best to remind you and we have videos to play so you know her voice.”
“When do you go?”
“Go? Oh, um…I was planning to stay for uh-a long time. Not sure how long, but um, I like it better here. I know it was kinda soon, but-” Haley got up and went over to Alex. Cam sighed heavily. Luke crawled to him and reached for his face. Cam smiled, picking him up. “You don’t think it was too soon, do you?”
“Ermble”
“I thought so.”
Cam kept an eye on them and gave them a five minute warning when Luke looked sleepy. He packed up, put Luke in, and pushed the stroller over, calling to the girls. Alex said bye to her new friends and came over. She looked relieved like she knew she’d reached her social limit. Cam buckled her in.
“Haley!” Alex called. Haley ignored her.
“Haley, honey, it’s time to go home.” Cam said. Haley ignored him. “Haley, we gotta get ready for Uncle Mitchell’s birthday dinner. You can be my awesome helper!”
“Me too!” Alex said.
“Yes, you too.” Haley ignored them again. “Haley, let’s go.”
“Honey, your dad needs you to go. I can give him my house phone number and we can set up playdates with Rachel and Reese.” One of the moms said, also packing up.
“That sounds nice, doesn’t that sound nice?” Cam said to Haley who was still ignoring him. She had a toy that Rachel was holding her hand out politely for. “Haley, we have to give that back. We can call for a play date and you can play with the toy at her house.”
“Leave me alone, you’re not my dad.” Haley huffed, crossing her arms.
“Okay, well your uncle needs to take your brother and sister home so Luke can nap and we can get ready for Uncle Mitchell’s birthday dinner.”
“You’re not my uncle!” Haley snapped. “You’re a meanie.”
“I am? What did I do? Did I not give you enough time to be done here?”
“You’re a meanie and you’re gonna steal my Mitchell!”
“Steal him? I just want to give him a good birthday dinner.”
“Why is it good?! Why is anything good?! WHY DID YOU ALL FORGET ABOUT MOM?!” She screamed, throwing the toy at him. It was lower and instead hit Alex in the face. Alex started crying because she was startled, the toy was a soft cube looking thing.
“Can we talk about this at home?” Cam asked, picking up the toy. “I would like to have a conversation, then we can say sorry to Alex and try to have a good day-”
“STOP SAYING THAT! STOP SAYING YOU’RE MY UNCLE!”
Cam gave the toy to Rachel’s mom. “I’m so sorry about that, I just…I’m helping friends with their kids, their mother passed in November.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW THEM!”
“Haley, I knew your mom for almost the entire time she was waiting for Luke.”
“THEN HE WAS BORN AND SHE DIED!”
“Mommies die?” Rachel asked, her eyes going wide. Haley suddenly looked nervous.
“Um-I-”
Reese had started crying, then Rachel. Their mother sighed. “Guess two families are having hefty talks. Don’t worry about it.” She added as Cam was about to apologize again.
Haley went straight to her room and started screaming into her pillow. Alex wanted Cam to hold her and Luke was asleep. Cam put Luke to bed and took Alex downstairs to prep for the birthday dinner. He called Phil and Mitch to let them know what happened.
“Unca Cam? You Unca Cam?” Alex asked, sitting on the counter.
“Kinda. We call it ‘honorary uncle’ instead of biological. Your biological uncle is your mommy or daddy’s brother or sister. Daddy has no brother or sister and Mommy only had Uncle Mitchell.” Cam explained. “I’m only Uncle Mitchell's friend.”
"You don’t have to lie to yourself anymore."
“Oh. Did Mommy dieded ’n Luke um…um…”
“There are medical reasons that are hard to explain, but yes it happened after Luke was born. It is not Luke’s fault.”
“I knowed that. Why always sayed it?”
“We got worried you or Haley would try to hurt Luke because you think it was his fault.”
“I not gonna hurted him.”
“Good.”
“I won’t hurt him.” Haley’s small voice came from the kitchen doorway. Cam gestured for her to come over. “Long time go, Uncle Mishull say that Grampa Jay can hurt him because he’s gay. Lots of people who is gay was hurted.”
“Yeah. Lots of people still hurt gay people. I promise I won’t hurt him and he won’t hurt me. But you can hurt people and it’s not about being gay.” He gestured to Alex. “I know the toy didn’t hurt, but you still scared her.”
“Sorry, Alex.”
“Otay.” Alex said.
“Can we calls Rachel?”
“Of course. Haley, does it bother you that Alex calls me uncle?”
“No…I don’t want you to be instead of Uncle Mishull.”
“Never. He’s here to stay. Like I said, he’s known her his entire life. He only missed about three years and between the three of us, he didn’t miss much. Just a lot of pooping and crying like Luke.” The girls giggled. “If you want to call me Cam, that’s fine. I just want you to be nice to people, that’s all. Your parents and uncle want that too. See? Your mom’s not gone from everything. She will always be in our hearts.”
They called Rachel’s mom who had quelled her daughter’s fears by saying accidents happen and that Haley’s mom had just died and she still was having a hard time with big emotions. Sharon mentioned that Haley brought up Cam being gay in an upset tone and thought he should know in case something came of that. Cam said that she was lashing out and she was a bit better now.
“Rachel’s going to be in your class when you start school.”
“Do I have’ta?”
“Yes, you have to.” Haley sighed dramatically. Cam laughed. “I see I’m a wonderful influence.”
“I’d redefine wonderful.” Mitch called out. “Am I allowed in the kitchen?”
“No.” Cam and the girls said.
“The chorus says no. Can I have a glass of water?”
“Yep.” Cam said. He had Haley bring him water.
Before dinner, Phil and Mitch had a talk with Haley about her behavior. They said they got where she was coming from, but that it wasn’t okay to throw a tantrum like that or objects because she was lucky the toy didn’t hurt. She apologized again and hugged them. She admitted that she did blame Luke at first and she wasn’t okay with Cam moving in fast, but she was okay now. She was worried that Cam would be like Gordon who was always busy and Mitch had been too.
Mitch said that they weren’t dating and even if they were, they’d make time for the kids. Dinner was wonderful, as was cake. Luke shoved his frosted hand in his mouth. They sang happy birthday and gave him presents. Mitch and Phil cried at his from Cam. It was a painting of his graduation picture from Cornell with Phil and Claire on either side of him, smiling proudly.
“Thank you.” Mitch said. Phil put his head on Mitch’s shoulder as Cam smiled.
Bath time was a little chaotic, but doable as they came down from their sugar rushes. After bath, Cam put Luke to bed and Phil was reading to the girls. Mitch went outside with a glass of wine. He heard the door and footsteps.
“Thought I’d also have a nightcap.” Cam said.
“Yeah…bet Missouri’s got a sky full of stars.”
“Not itching for me to go back, are you?”
Mitch snorted. “Nah. Hope you don’t think Haley actually wants you gone. It was confusing because she’s five, but-”
“Nah, I got it. Was just going to say that’d be tough unless I found a place I liked. Home isn’t…home. Not really. There are a couple reasons I’d go back to visit, but nothing that would compel me to stay.”
“Mm.” Mitch sighed, putting his glass in the air. “Love you.”
Stop that, he was obviously talking to Claire! Cam berated himself for the way his heart rate picked up slightly. “She’d have been on top of it before I even woke-ah, never mind.” Idiot, you wouldn’t be here if she was.
“It’s fine, yeah, she would’ve woken up with the kids. You’re doing great.”
“I know you’re not supposed to take the word of a child, but…she wasn’t entirely wrong was she? I mean, I don’t belong here.” Cam was not thinking before he spoke.
“Farm to big city suburb to The Big Apple. I can see how that would make you feel unsure. But you’re a bit of a few different worlds. Guess I’ve always been city boy.”
“Born and raised in south Detroit?”
Mitch laughed. “Are we streetlight people?”
“If you’re not careful, that could have a completely different connotation than either of us meant.” Cam said. He looked at Mitch who was smiling.
“Yeah. If it helps, I think you belong here.” Cam’s heart thudded as Mitch looked at him.
“Sometimes I think you say that because you want me to stay for the kids.”
“Yes.” Mitch said. “I honestly think that whatever you think you want, go for it. You came here for us, but you stay for the love of theatre because…you don’t have to stay if you don’t want. If you want to-” he inhaled shakily “if you want to leave, no one will get in your way.”
What was that? Was that a sign or am I hopelessly hopeful? “I-I know the girls would love me to stay, but uh…would you or Phil want me to stay?”
“You’re literally on Phil’s wavelength and sometimes-just sometimes-I think you two share a singular brain cell.”
“Okay fair.” Cam giggled. Mitch’s eyebrows and mouth twitched.
A minute passed in which they turned back towards the view and sipped wine.
“To answer the question, Phil loves you like another brother and he wants you to follow your heart. You know he’d love you here, but not at the expense of what you truly want.”
What I truly want…is you. “And you?”
“I don’t want you to suffer feeling tied to this place o-or like you’re competing with a ghost…you aren’t. She…” Mitch sighed.
“I’m not suffering. I love it here. I love kids, I’ve always wanted kids-not that I think of them as mine. I know where to draw the line there and I really wish I’d gotten to know Claire, I-I respect her so much just knowing how protective she was of you. We talked a bit here and there.”
“I know. Um…she was the one who brought up the idea of you living in New York. Like, you getting an apartment and living here. She mentioned it beginning of last summer…”
“Oh? She didn’t say.”
“I asked her not to.”
“Oh, um…did you not want-?”
“No! I mean, not no, I mean-agh! I meant um…I was having relationship issues and I didn’t want to uh-fall for someone I just met and…then Gordon and I broke up and Claire…she didn’t want you to be a ‘rebound’ or immediate, she just told me not to immediately dismiss you as…I don’t want you here to be a rebound or because I’m trying to get in your pants, but I don’t want to lie…I kinda like you.”
“Really? I may have had a crush on you like from when we first met, but it was highly inappropriate. I wouldn’t have inserted myself. I felt lost when Claire died-I know, not a statement you’re unfamiliar with-but I mean that she invited me to thanksgiving and asked me to come for Christmas and…she was my friend and not one who criticized everything I did and tell me I wasn’t gay enough. Pep and them would say that a lot…”
“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that…wait, how are you not gay enough?” Mitch shook his head.
“No idea.” Cam laughed. “I wouldn’t see it as a rebound if you…I wouldn’t um-there would be no hard feelings. I don’t feel trapped at all. I felt stagnant back there. Just accepting whatever they said, whatever they wanted…you guys let me do my own thing with the basement and I get to at least put my theatre ideas in instead of being rejected soon as I open my mouth. Sometimes they even take the base idea and work with it.”
“Sometimes it doesn’t sound like they’re your friends-sorry. I-I only meant-” Mitch panicked, tossing back the rest of his drink and then coughing. He’d choked on it. “I-I’m fine. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Honestly, I think you apologize too much. I’ve honestly thought that too. Pepper and I have a connection, but even then it’s…I’ll always love the man, but definitely as a long distance friend….” Cam looked into Mitch’s eyes, wondering what he was thinking. “You didn’t really answer the question.”
“I didn’t? Oh-whoa!” Mitch had turned and stumbled forward. Cam took his arm to steady him. Mitch’s breath hitched as he looked up into Cam’s eyes, the words to thank him left his brain. Cam’s hand moved. “Stay?”
Cam kept his hand on Mitch’s arm, looking quizzically. “You balanced?”
“I meant…I want you to stay if-if you want to.”
“I want to.”
Mitch moved first, his face turning pink, and went inside to rinse his glass. Cam put his on the counter. Mitch ended up washing both of them, feeling Cam’s eyes on him. His face grew warmer, his brain racing with a million things his heart was going faster about. He wasn’t quick enough to speak as Cam said he was going to bed.
Cam was dressed and reading in bed when Mitch came down, fumbling with the sleeve of his sweater. He seemed to struggle with something as he approached the bed. His stomach twisted and his face showed complex thought. Cam frowned, starting to get up. Mitch shook his head.
“I-I-” God, why can’t I talk?!
“Do I need to get Phil?” Cam asked. Mitch shook his head and groaned. Cam took his hand, causing goosebumps. “You want to sit?”
Mitch put one foot in front of the other and immediately stumbled forward. Cam caught him yet again. This time, their faces close. Mitch’s jaw trembled and a light pink tinge appeared on Cam’s cheeks.
“U-um, c-ca-” Mitch’s blush darkened as he saw Cam’s eyes flicker to his lips.
“Would it be too forward to ask for a kiss when we haven’t even had a first date?” Cam whispered. The goosebumps spread. Mitch could feel some on Cam’s arms.
“Yes.” Mitch breathed. Cam was about to pull away when Mitch kissed him. “I don’t care about steps…can I kiss you again?”
“Please.” The word barely passed his lips before Mitch’s were on him again. Mitch was on top of him, feverishly kissing him and Cam was kissing as passionately back.
“Thanks for the extra present…” Mitch breathed “wanna go on a date?”
Cam chuckled. “I felt like we’d get there eventually, yeah.”
They made out until they were tired. Mitch wanted to stay in the bed and he stayed, holding Cam. Their relationship was known the next day, mostly because Haley got up and freaked out that Mitch was gone. Cam and Mitch promised no one was taking anyone away and they still loved the kids. Cam moved into Mitch’s room before the end of the year.
…
Four years later, they talked to the kids about the idea of adopting a child, telling the Dunphys they’re still absolutely important to them. The nine and seven year old girls were on board with the idea, Haley and Alex wanting a little sister. Four year old Luke was hesitant. He liked being the baby of the family. He still wasn’t sure even when they got confirmed for a baby. He accepted it when he saw how his uncles introduced her by playing the Lion King.
She was born in January 2009 and they brought her home in July, naming her Lily Claire Tucker-Pritchett. She was in Cam and Mitch’s room until Haley and Alex got a bunk bed and Lily roomed with them when she could sleep through the night.
Haley’s memories of her mom were vague, but she knew her uncles and dad never tried to erase her from their lives. She would make sure her siblings and cousin grew up knowing her as well as she did. Alex would sometimes come to her and be sad that she couldn’t remember her without pictures or videos.
One day, Pepper texted Cam about a message he’d posted online. He’d said he was proud of his best friends for how far they’d come and for expanding their family. He didn’t put a picture of Lily, but he tagged Mitch and Cam and Jay had seen it. His wife, Gloria, was upset that Jay never told her about them and insisted on trying to mend the bridge.
Mitch messaged Gloria, saying that he appreciated her intention, but Jay had more than burnt the bridge when Claire died. Mitch didn’t ever want to forget how Jay had been. How he spent four years spiraling with only Claire and Phil to truly hold onto him. He asked what Jay’s reaction had been to Pepper’s post and Gloria was silent for a while. Then she truthfully told him that Jay had said he knew it.
Mitchell: He accused me of letting his grandkids around ‘whatever I get up to’
Gloria: he has said he regrets it and wishes to tell you himself
Mitchell: I can’t be vulnerable around him. I believe in Phil and Cam’s abilities to protect and hold me, but Claire knows what he was like. Claire was there when I came out to my parents. She held me that night as I cried for hours. Phil would hold it together enough to ask him to leave, but he needs help. Cam would be stern and verbally strong arm him, closing the door in his face. Claire would’ve gone scorched earth to rip into him if I gave the word
Gloria: Do you think there is a chance I could bring Manny to meet the family?
Mitchell: Phil says fine and we all say if you leave Jay at home
Gloria: Okay. I really do want to meet you and know about Claire.
Gloria’s visit was nice, they talked about Claire, kids, and parenting. Jay had made friends with Pepper and was actually being part of the gay community. He just didn't tell his son because he didn’t want to be accused of trying to pander to him.
Mitch flew out to California summer of 2010, saying that he’d be fine because Gloria and Pepper would be there. When Pepper brought him to the house, he remarked that he didn’t recognize a car in the driveway. Pepper then spent the walk up to the door talking about Jay’s car and house and…Mitch zoned out a bit.
Gloria had a grimace as she opened the door. “Your mother is here.”
“Good thing I’m staying at Pepper’s.” Mitch said dryly as he entered. He heard about how horrible Dede had been to Gloria. “Haven’t changed a bit, have you?”
“Mitchell, my darling-”
Pepper stepped in front of Mitch, uncharacteristically serious as Cam asked him to be his protector along with Gloria. Mitch put his hand on Pepper’s shoulder, signaling to let him speak. Then Jay did.
“Dede, leave him alone.” Jay said. “I’ve been asking you to leave.”
“I want to see my kids and grandkids.” Dede sniffed.
“Kids?” Mitch questioned. “You have none. I cut you off fifteen years ago and Phil isn’t your kid. Never was. Forget grandkids, Claire left to get away from you. Both of you.”
“You didn’t invite me to the funeral.”
“She wouldn’t have wanted you there. I grudgingly let Jay come and that was a mistake.”
“I told you that, Dede. We weren’t the parents our kids needed.” Jay said.
“You weren’t there.” Dede snapped at him.
“I know I wasn’t and I started to try too late. I don’t want Manny missing out on family because of me, which is why I have nothing to say. I didn’t question him like you tried to do. Get out and stop coming back.” Dede grumbled as she left. “I’m getting a restraining order for her. She keeps attacking and blaming Gloria for our marriage falling apart and-and…Claire…you know, stuff she wasn’t even around for. Neither of them were.”
Mitch didn’t respond, choosing to look down at his feet. Pepper really wanted to talk, but he was in the mindset of ‘what would Cam do’? Cam would either be quiet or try to diffuse the tension. He definitely wasn’t Cam, so he wasn’t sure what to do. He was grateful when Gloria cut the awkward silence by offering refreshments. Pepper happily followed her in, complimenting the house. Jay and Mitch didn’t make eye contact. Gloria started talking about Manny and how he was doing in school. He was currently at a friend’s house.
“Is there anything left, Jay?” Mitchell asked hoarsely. Pepper and Gloria stopped talking. “You could’ve called in the past five years. Phil tried to call you. He told you that you could talk to the kids until you tried to make us look bad to Haley. We’re fine with Gloria and Manny, but even to them, there’s that noticeable divide. I don’t want to lower you in their eyes, but to me…I can’t even call you my dad. Fifteen years…and not even when my most fierce defender died did you even…try.” Mitch’s voice cracked. He took a shuddering breath and looked up at Jay across the table. “I would’ve taken it, you know? That chance…even after nine years of ignoring me. Nine years I depended on Claire and called them my only family, I held out hope. I would’ve hated that it took her dying for you to get your shit together, but…I’m not Phil. Or Cam. I’m a Pritchett, we-we don’t tend to hold out hope that long. I’d say nine years was way more than I usually gave.”
“So it’s pretty much impossible? For any sort of relationship?”
“No. You’re still the kids’ grandfather if you treat Phil like your son. I just don’t know if I can be yours. Mutual acquaintance maybe, through them and the queer communities, but…it’s not a rebuilt bridge. Ours are gone.”
“I get it.”
Mitch and Jay parted that day with that understanding. What it meant in the long run, they didn’t know. They just knew that they couldn’t really call each other father and son. Maybe it wasn’t ideal, but then again, neither was their life thus far.