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Sirens blare from down the street. He can still hear the ground cracking, and buildings crumbling. After effects of the 'earthquake'.
The air is still, like after something horrible happens and there's no way to fix it. That feeling of tightness that spreads across his chest keeps him sitting at his front door.
Steve knows his house is empty. His parents are gone like they usually are. He tries to distract himself from spiralling by focusing on the heavy ache spreading through his body. The tightness in his chest. The pain left by the demobats at the side of his body.
His throat hurts, still. Maybe it's from screaming and sobbing over Eddie's dead body, or from trying to comfort a sobbing Dustin, trying to bring him back home safely.
He knows if anything had happened to Nancy and Robin he would never have forgiven himself for that either, so really it feels like, in the words of Robin, 'one, giant error'.
He's worried about Max, scared for the kids, and tries to focus on those feelings rather than his own. He has to be there for them. He knows that he doesn't have the time to focus on what he feels, and he doesn't really want to.
His shaking hands are stained with blood. He tells himself it's his, but he knows it's not. It's Eddie's.
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Steve felt a small smile creep on his face as the two boys in front of him jumped around happily, their faces full of excitement. The rush of adrenaline slowly left them. It was a close call, but their timing had been perfect, and now the demobats were trapped outside.
He hopes Robin and Nancy are attacking Vecna right now, that their plan was going according to plan, and under normal circumstances he would've begged to go with them, to stare directly in the face of danger.
But his bat bites were bothering him, flaring up more often than he wanted to admit. There was no way he would've been able to go with Robin and Nancy, and fight Vecna, despite the urge to suck it up and say he was fine.
Eddie noticed, of course, Eddie noticed, and suggested that Steve should stay with him and Dustin. Steve wanted to argue with him, and say he was fine, but there was a part of him wanting to stay. A part of him he didn't want to acknowledge at that moment.
Mainly because he didn't want to think about love on what could very possibly be their last day on earth. He thought back to his conversation with Robin. They had to save Hawkins, they didn't have time to think about their love lives.
But even now, when Dustin and Eddie were screaming, jumping, smiles wider than Steve had seen them this past week, his eyes kept flickering towards Eddie's lips.
He remembers Eddie saying he should go back to Nancy. Do whatever it takes to get Nancy back, but he knows that it wouldn't be right. It didn't feel right, why would it change now? Because they both changed? He tries to make excuses and tries to give himself a thousand different reasons to pine over Nancy, instead of Eddie. But it's just not right, and he knows.
There's only one excuse though, and he knows it. He knows it better than anyone else.
He, Steve Harrington, has a crush on Eddie Munson.
"Hey, guys?" Dustin calls, from Eddie's room, interrupting Steve from his thoughts. He's almost glad for the interruption. He doesn't want to think about his feelings right now.
"Yeah?" Eddie answers, shooting up and racing into the room after Dustin. Steve follows.
Dustin points towards a vent in the ceiling, and Steve bites his lip. They barely have time to react before the bat pushes its way through.
Steve pushes in front of the two boys, and ignoring the pain in his sides as best he can, stabs at the bats in the ceiling using one of Dustin's makeshift spears.
"Harrington, move," Eddie says.
Steve steps out of the way before Eddie quickly covers the hole in the ceiling with one of those 'shields', he and Dustin had been making earlier. It seems to work though, so Steve doesn't make any other comments.
The pain in his sides is enough for him to deal with. He feels himself doubling over, biting on his lip to suppress the pained noise he's making.
Dustin and Eddie are by his side in an instant, Dustin firing a thousand questions at once.
Steve's eyes glance up for a split second and meet Eddie's. His eyes are filled with concern. Those soft brown eyes that Steve was trying so hard to forget about.
"I thought you took pain meds before this," Eddie mumbled.
"I did," Steve answered.
He stops to catch his breath, wincing as he tries to find a position where the pain hurts a little less, and sits on the floor, limbs awkwardly positioned around the vines.
"They're probably wearing off, or something," he mumbles that last part.
The pain comes at him sharply, in what feels like never-ending waves. It's almost like the bats are still attached to the side of him, ripping out more flesh than they already have.
The feeling of their teeth sinking into his flesh, feels like forks trying to stab into a piece of meat. Over and over again. Stabbing the same wounds as before. Digging into exposed flesh.
He blinks back the tears that threaten to spill, as a wave of nausea hits him sharply, twisting his stomach like a dish cloth.
"Eddie, what do we do?" Dustin's voice cuts through his thoughts, and he manages to compose himself for a split second, sitting straighter, and trying to catch his breath.
"Give me a second," Steve says. "I just- I need a second,"
"Are you ok?" Eddie asks.
"Yes! Fine," Steve answers. He probably sounds a little too defensive, because Dustin is giving him a weird look, and Eddie just looks scared.
"We can wait it out back in the normal world," Eddie suggests. "Or Dustin and I can stay and you can-"
"No!" Steve shouts. "No. No one stays behind,"
Maybe his pride got in his way, his hero complex. Maybe he was afraid their plan would go terribly if they separated. Or maybe he wanted to be the one who stayed, to protect them. Because there was no way he was letting Eddie or Dustin get themselves killed because he was busy lounging in Eddie's trailer while the rest of them were fighting for the entirety of Hawkins without him.
He watches as the two boys in front of him exchange whispers. The pain from his bat bites has toned down to a dull throb.
"See guys, I'm fine," Steve says, pushing himself off the vine-covered floor in Eddie's room.
At that moment, something bangs against the trailer.
"Eddie?" Dustin asks. "Please say you don't have any more vents that need covering,"
Eddies eyes widen, and Steve grabs his axe.
He can feel another wave of adrenaline crashing over him again, pulling him into the pool of impulse and instinct.
"Ok, ok, we got to go," Eddie rambles. "We all got to go,"
Steve nods, shoving the two boys towards the rope back in the middle of Eddie's living room. The bats come out of the vent, one after the other, and Steve barely has time to slam the door shut, hoping it buys them enough time.
Dustin's already climbing, and Eddie pushes him up.
"You next pretty boy," Eddie mumbles.
Steve rolls his eyes at the comment but tries to hide the burning red in his cheeks. He listens to the two boys who are insisting that he should climb next because of his injuries.
He doesn't bother arguing. He can tell they're tight on time. The bats are chewing through the wood, and that sickening feeling of dread creeps into his stomach.
The feeling that something bad is about to happen.
And it does.
He climbs through the portal, landing hard on the mattress, and trying to stifle a groan that escapes his lips from the sharp pain of his bat bites probably reopening. Not like they had healed properly in the first place.
He also completely forgot his back had been scraped and shredded, and landing directly on it doesn't seem to help much either. Based on how wet his shirt feels, he assumes it's either blood or sweat, or a mixture of both.
Dustin is yelling again, and he squeezes his eyes shut, just for a minute, before Dustin is screaming his name. Steve realizes that Eddie hasn't fallen through the portal yet, and Dustin is actually screaming for Eddie.
Steve shoots up again, ignoring how badly he wants to pass out, and looks back into the ceiling at Eddie's now empty trailer. Dustin's already working on making another rope.
He immediately grabs the new rope from Dustin and throws it through. "Stay here," he says.
Dustin shakes his head
"No, no Steve,"
"Henderson," Steve snaps. "Stay here,"
The kid finally stops arguing, which doesn't really sit well with Steve. But he doesn't have the time to dwell on it.
His hands grip the white sheet, and he pulls himself up and through the portal.
His landing is a little rough, as he stumbles and fights against the constant pain from his whole upper body. He looks back up at Dustin, who's sobbing, and Steve makes the decision to not move the mattress back in hopes the younger boy will actually listen to him for once and stay behind.
Steve forces himself to run to the exit of the trailer. His legs feel like lead, and the dull throb and sharp pains are making him feel like he's on fire. Burning spreads across his torso and wraps around his back trapping him in an agonizing cycle of pain.
His eyes readjust to his surroundings and in the distance, he sees a large crowd of bats. His eyes can't make out Eddie, but he knows he's in there.
Suddenly, the bats fall, and all the chaos and the air stills. An eerie silence lingers over the Upside Down, and he thinks of Nancy and Robin.
Did they do it? Was Vecna gone?
He slowly approaches the place where the bats fell. Hundred of them are scattered across the ground. Their slimy tails soaking the dirt. His eyes find Eddie's body.
Eddie's still barely alive when Steve gets there, and for what Steve thinks is the first time that night, he panics.
He falls to his knees beside Eddie's body, and in some awkward way tries to lift the boy up. But his body lets him down, and protests by sending more pain across his torso. The burning sensation feels like nothing after that, and he's forced to just settle with Eddie's body in his arms.
"Come on Eddie, please," he says, voice shaky. "Henderson's waiting you can't just-"
"It's ok," Eddie answers. "It's ok,"
"No, come on. You can't leave us, just hold on Robin and Nancy will be here soon, and-"
Eddie's hand reached up, just below Steve's chin. Steve felt the cold of his rings brushing against the ugly bruising on his neck.
"We're matching now,"
"Yeah," Steve answers, "Yeah, we're going to, you just need to hang on, alright?"
"Where's Henderson?"
"He's back at the trailer. He's ok,"
"Ok, good. You have to take care of him, ok?"
"Eds," Steve mumbles. "Hey, you can do that yourself,"
Eddie smiles, teeth stained with blood, but it's still an Eddie smile. The smile Steve had thought he had gotten used to. The smile that gave Steve butterflies.
"Come on Eddie, you're too metal to go out like this," Steve tries to joke. Tries to lighten the mood a little.
At least tries to distract himself from the realization that they're running out of time.
"Not going to lie, it wasn't the plan Stevie,"
Eddie's eyes start to shut, and Steve, in a moment of sheer panic and denial, shakes the boy's shoulders. Eddie's eyes snap open again, but Steve can see the life slowly fading out of those dark brown eyes.
"Just. Keep talking," Steve mumbles.
Eddie smiles again, and Steve feels a sense of dread twist itself into his stomach. He can't feel anything now, not even the pain spreading across his torso. The weight of the situation feels like a thousand pounds crushing him, numbing him to everything else that seems to be happening.
He wants to scream for help, to do something to help the boy in his arms, because he knows if it weren't for his own injuries he'd be able to carry Eddie out of this place and get help.
"Let Henderson know I love him, ok?" Eddie says.
Steve wants to protest, argue with Eddie, and try and convince them both that he'll make it out alive. But at that moment, his hands are sticky with Eddie's blood, and he knows that they're running out of time. They've probably already run out of time.
"Maybe I was a little jealous Stevie," Eddie continues, rambling nonsense, his words beginning to slur together. "But maybe I always liked you, a little too much,"
"Eddie,"
Eddie's eyes focus on Steve's, and for just a second time seem to stand still.
"Didn't realize I was worth your tears Harrington,"
Steve doesn't realize he's crying yet, his eyes still glued onto Eddie's. That dark brown looked too foggy. They're running out of time, but there's so much Steve still has to say. Words he doesn't know how to say.
"I still have to give you your jacket back," Steve answers.
"Keep it," Eddie whispers.
Steve makes an impulse decision right there and then, pressing his lips onto Eddie's.
He wasn't expecting Eddie, using the last of the life he had left in him to kiss him back.
The kiss was rushed. Steve had always wondered what Eddie's lips tasted like. He wondered if the taste of cigarettes still lingered underneath the metal taste of blood. The beer they had drunk before jumping into the Upside Down just hours ago.
Steve pressed his forehead against Eddie's and shut his eyes. Eddie lets out a soft, wheezing laugh.
"Been wanting to do that for a while, pretty boy,"
"So hang on a little longer, please," Steve whispers.
"Eddie!"
Steve shoots up, his eyes landing on a figure limping towards them in the distance. Dustin. Dustin was here.
He looks back down at Eddie, whose eyes are rolling back showing milky white.
"Hey! Hey! Eddie!" Steve shouts, shaking the boy a little until his eyes reopen. "Come on, a little longer,"
Dustin makes it to them and lets out one of the most devastating, heart-wrenching sobs Steve's ever heard. He's on the other side of Eddie in a second, looking up at Steve, blue eyes wide and full of tears.
Steve feels the urge to do something. To try and save him, get him out of this hellhole. But he can't bring himself to move. His body finally decides it's had enough.
"Henderson," Eddie smiles.
"Eddie, come on man, don't do this to me," Dustin cries.
There's another moment where time seems to pause. Dustin's cries echo throughout the Upside Down. His tears replenishing themselves in constant flowing streams.
Eddie's hand reaches up at Dustin's face. Steve runs his hands through Eddie's hair, feeling the tangled mess wet with blood. Dustin holds onto Eddie's hand. Trying to hold onto it for as long as he can.
Eddie smiles one last time. Brown eyes finally fogged over, eyes rolling back, and slowly shutting. His hand goes limp. Steve shakes him again, trying to stir the boy back into consciousness, but they're too late.
A cry comes out of Dustin as he shakes Eddie's dead body.
Steve can only watch as Dustin clutches onto Eddie's bloodied, chewed-up hellfire shirt. He silently curses the world for not taking him instead.
Nancy and Robin return, and with their help, the two boys stumble through the portal. Dustin's still in tears, as Robin leads Steve back to the RV, telling him he needs to drive. That the clock chimed four times. Vecna got to Max. They were too late.
He can barely feel any pain anymore. His body acts on instinct, on autopilot, as Robin and Nancy bring back a sobbing Erica explaining what happened.
They drive back to Lover's Lake, abandoning the RV, and climbing into Steve's car. He drives to Dustin's house, dropping him off, as Ms. Henderson tries to comfort the boy, who's still sobbing, his tears never really seeming to end.
They drive to Erica's house where Ms. Sinclair does the same thing with Erica. Hugs her, and Erica tries to explain where her brother is.
Next is Nancy's house. She doesn't say much to him, but exchanges a whisper with Robin, before resting a hand on Steve's shoulder, giving him a soft smile. It's not like Eddie's. It doesn't make him feel like that either.
He drives both him and Robin to his house. Robin gently leads him to the front door, before he realizes he left his keys in the car.
Sirens blare down the streets, as his mind wanders, and his shaking hands remind him of Eddie's dead body lying in his arms. He can still feel the boy's lips on his, and he can still see those chocolate brown eyes, smiling back at him as the life slowly fades out of them.
Robin comes back and walks past him to unlock his front door. She crouches beside him and extends a hand, but he shakes his head.
"Just a little longer Robin. I don't want to go in yet,"
"Ok," Robin answers. She sits beside him, fiddling her thumbs.
Steve feels himself subconsciously reaching out for Robin's wrists, and he lightly traces over them, scanning the deep purple bruises etched onto her skin.
Deep purple binds like a rope, wrapping around her wrists and her neck.
"Robin-"
"I'm ok now," she whispers, and he nods. That's all he needs to know right now. At least she's ok.
"Come on," she says. "We can talk inside,"
Steve can't find the strength to argue back. He can't find the words to explain that he doesn't want to go inside. He doesn't think he can close his eyes without seeing Eddies smile. Those brown irises sent him heart eyes, that he tried so hard to ignore. Heart eyes that stayed on his until the end.
He doesn't think he can speak without feeling Eddies lips on his. Eddie, who used his one final ounce of strength to kiss him back.
But he doesn't know how to explain that, because how does he explain he loved a boy but realized it too late? How does he explain why he chose to ignore all those signals? And he knows Robin will understand, but he just can't bring himself to say those words out loud.
Because he doesn't want to admit he was too much of a coward to confront Eddie sooner. To beg him to listen and not be a hero. He wonders if he did if Eddie would still be here.
Robin helps him take off his bandages and finally gets him in the shower.
She's gone now, running back outside to grab their stuff from his trunk.
He can see his bandages lying on the bathroom floor. The water runs down his back and leaves streaks of blood and dirt stained onto his shower. He doesn't care. He looks at the bandages. Covered in dirt and blood. His blood.Eddies blood is running down the drain.
His bat bites have reopened, he knows they have because there's a part of his bandages that's a little brighter red than the rest and because his sides are still throbbing no matter how hard he tries to ignore them.
He climbs out of the shower, hair dripping wet, and hands scrubbed raw from trying to get rid of Eddie's blood.
He puts on his pants and calls for Robin to help rewrap his bites.
Steve watches his hands shake as he tries to block out the pain. The agonizing shooting pain he feels from the bandage pressing onto his exposed flesh. Shredded and bruised. But it doesn't hurt as much as the numbness inside his chest.
After they're done, Steve wanders down the hall to his room. Robin's in the shower now, and Steve honestly is thankful for the peace and safety of his own bedroom.
He falls onto his bed, draping his arm over his eyes. But he regrets that decision. Behind the darkness is Eddie's body, eyes still smiling as his mind replays that last moment.
There's a moment where Steve pauses. Debating if he should relive the moment or ignore it. Because he never wants to forget that last moment. He never wants to forget that kiss. But he doesn't want to relive the light in Eddie's eyes fading.
He sits up and looks across the room. Robins dumped their stuff in the corner. The drawer of her clothes in his dresser is left open.
He sighs and pushes off the bed to close it. He hears the shower turn off, and turns back towards the bed. Except something catches his eye.
In the pile of their stuff, draped across the top of Steve's bag, is Eddie's jacket. The denim jacket is covered in Upside Down dirt and Steve's blood.
He bends down to pick it up. Looking at the fraying denim in his hand, he can't help the wave of sadness that crashes over him. He can't help but lower himself onto the ground, back against his dresser with Eddie's jacket placed between his left knee and chest.
He buries his face into it, letting himself finally cry. Hot tears streak down his cheek. He hears Robin come in, kneeling down beside him.
"Steve? Steve? Are you ok?" She asks.
He looks up at her. His tongue feels heavy, and he hopes she can understand by the look he's giving her.
She doesn't.
"Does it hurt?" She asks. "One, to ten. How much?"
She asked him that question earlier. Before they jumped through into the Upside Down. He was on pain meds at the time. His mind was fuzzy, but the pain in his sides was manageable. He said two.
She asked him again after they got out. He said nine.
"So much," he answers.
"How much?" She asks.
He keeps his face buried in the jacket, his knee covering his face, covering the jacket.
His voice is shaky, and he struggles against the tears that escape his eyes. The tears that he forced back to be strong for Dustin, and Erica. He couldn't have cried in front of them, but he could cry now. He could cry now all he wanted and he knew Robin wouldn't judge.
"Ten,"
"Where?"
The pain is a ten. He feels numb all over, his senses dull, his mind fighting against some unseen force. He wants to give him. Make it stop. His heart feels heavy, chest feels tight.
He can barely breathe. It feels like a demobat is holding his heart. Cutting off the blood flow, like how the bats strangled him earlier. Squeezing, his heart with their slimy tails, biting into his heart, and shredding it a million times over. His heart feels like it's fighting for something. Fighting for life his mind tries to control.
He feels like his whole body is fighting against each other. Mind and heart, battling for something. Love or move on.
He places Eddie's jacket beside him, his hand clutching his chest. Right, where his heart is, clawing at the fabric like it hurts him. There's still a steady stream of tears flowing down his face. And at that moment she understands.
"Oh," she whispers. "Steve-"
He throws his arms around her, burying his face into her shoulder. Her arms slide around his back.
"Sorry," he mumbles. "I'm so damn sorry,"
He's fully aware of the loud sobs escaping his lips. His shoulders shake under Robin's grasp and he can feel the tears soaking Robin's shirt.
"Shh, Steve, it's ok. It's going to be ok,"
"Robin," he whispers.
He could've loved him. He would still always love him, and he realized it too late. Eddie was his. He could've been everything to him, but in everyone's eyes, Eddie was the one who deserved death.
"It's ok. Steve, hey. It's ok,"
The sirens seem to never end just outside his window. He can see the sun peeking out under the stars, his room getting a little brighter as the sun cracks through his window.
There would be a day where Steve would realize he did all he could. That there wasn't anything else he could've done to prevent Eddie's death. Eddie made his choice. To be the hero. And he was. He was the hero Hawkins didn't deserve.
Steve would finally be able to accept the fact that he loved a boy but realized it too late. Eventually, the pain will hurt a little less.
When the sun rises in the morning, he'll try his best to forget. He'll give Dustin the jacket and be there for the younger boy.
But for now, as Steve cried in his best friend's arms, all he could feel was regret.