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The day was late, skies streaked with interchanging grey and blue. Clouds canvassed the heavens, with only a little bit of blue peeking from between their close-set bodies. It was a sight a painter or photographer would kill to capture—sun gleaming from behind thick grey, setting the clouds ablaze with fiery white that seemed to freeze them into ice.
Dan Heng, long hair tied into a ponytail, shouldered his jade green backpack. He frowned into the distance—not in disdain, but in ponderance. The tall green pine trees stretched out as far as he could see. Taking a step forward, he closed the back hatch of the rental car and sighed. After a moment, he opened his eyes and began to walk.
I didn’t want to leave at such an important time… the man thought to himself. But… she insisted. I value her input too much to brush her off. The trees quietly swayed with the gentle breeze. It was cold outside, but not the kind of cold that could drive him inside. Dan Heng was familiar with cold. He had faced it near-constantly back in his homeland, from the environment and even from the people he knew. The long-life species’ blood had never run quite as warm as the blood of any of the short-lived species… and their attitudes had never been warm towards Dan Heng. Even once he was reborn, with almost nothing left from his previous… incarnation, he had faced only the frigid chains of the Xianzhou Luofu’s Shackling Prison from his first breath until the day they banished him. The crisp air of late fall on this world was nothing compared to that period. Still, though, he found his skin prickling. Either I am growing used to warm climates… or I’m growing used to Stelle’s warmth.
Dan Heng sat with that thought for a few minutes as he walked, turning it over in his mind and pondering it. He had never been afraid to think about those things that another person might push to the back of their mind. No, he was stronger than that. Dan Heng might have been a man of few words, but his mind was constantly whirring with activity. He made an effort to analyze every thought and impulse so that he could better himself, forging his will into an alloy as strong as his cloud-piercing spear. However… letting those thoughts have voice was where he falters.
The clouds above him seemed to change shape—morphing from a puffy curtain spread across the sky into a canvas of long, narrow streaks in different colors. A haze seemed to sit over the world, tuning the colors of everything within sight to just the right frequencies to harmonize with the colors of the sky. The pines had a jade-like appearance—their needles seeming to almost shine in the evening light, reaching out like long, graceful fingers. All the while, the breeze curled between them, singing a song of its own. Dan Heng exhaled slowly, reaching his hand up as if he could grasp the breeze and bend it to his will. Instead, he let it play through his outstretched fingers. As he stood there, his body seemed to become lighter, his shoulders relaxing as tension he didn’t even realize he had been carrying left him. Stelle was right, as always, he thought, as a slight smile played at the corners of his mouth. He loosed a short but meaningful laugh into the breeze, which seemed to respond by intensifying for a brief second, the pines sharing in his mirth as the sound of the wind rushing through them echoed. Without her… I would be nothing. I don’t tell her that enough. With that observation, Dan Heng began to walk again, but at a slower pace. After all, Stelle wanted him to rest, not overwork himself even more in his dedicated rest time.
As he walked, the trees seemed to grow bigger in size. I must be reaching an older part of the forest, he figured, glancing up at the gap between the trees. Less of the sky was visible, but the clouds still had that beautiful, streaked appearance. If Stelle could see what I’m seeing right now… For a moment, regret flashed through him. She would love this much more than I have the capacity to. But, she’s busy, working on the case that she says I’ve been pouring too much into solving. I’ll bring her back here someday. Dan Heng slipped his compass out of his pocket, unfolded his map, and set the compass down on top of it, balancing both on his forearm. The needle pointed a little bit to his right, so Dan Heng rotated the housing of the compass to align with it. On the right track, he affirmed. His campsite for the night was a little to his northwest. He angled himself in that direction, refolding his map and sliding it into his pocket.
As he looked up, Dan Heng noticed the sky was beginning to darken. The clouds, rather than grey and white, had turned to orange and purple as the sun set. As he beheld the sky, a particular set of clouds drew his eye. They looked almost like a set of ribs, floating directly above him. A wave of unease slid slowly across his mind, the sight reminding him of times past.
He wasn’t sure why, but the rib-like clouds made him think once again about his predecessor. Taking a deep breath, like Himeko had suggested he do when he gets anxious, Dan Heng tried to let the thought pass over him. After a few minutes, it did just that, but the lingering impression still sunk dragon’s claws into his shoulders. Figured the peace wasn’t long for this world, the man ruefully pondered. Still, he continued walking.
The prior harmony of the sky with the trees was all but gone, each one seeming to sing to its own tune now. The trees were dark, the fading light of the sky peeling its warming fingers off of the world as it receded. I’ll be there before too long, Dan Heng mused, recalling his map. So, he began to walk a little bit faster. Eagerness wasn’t a word Dan Heng often used to refer to himself, but this time, he certainly found himself eager to see the campsite Stelle picked out for him.
Despite his slightly dampened mood, he finally admitted to himself that he really, really needed this break. Even organizing and updating the data bank wouldn’t have brought me down from the anxiety that’s been digging into my brain nonstop these last few weeks, or the desire to fix everything. This will give me the edge needed to jump right back in as soon as I’m back. He exhaled through his nose, adjusting his backpack and flicking his ponytail from where it had come to rest on his shoulder to the back of his head where it normally lay. He had not yet broken a sweat or started panting—his draconic heritage, as well as his own endurance training, granted him those blessings.
Dan Heng’s sharp ears suddenly picked up a whisper-like sound in the distance. A waterfall. He nodded as he heard it: that meant that he was almost there. Stelle had told him before that the site she picked for him is right next to a giant waterfall. Now, all he had to do was follow the sound.
The last few minutes of walking were marked by the sound of the waterfall getting louder and louder as the sky darkened even more. It only had a slight light to it now, a dark green-blue stretching across its expanse as the sun finished its arc across the sky. Only a few clouds persisted now, the grey canopy from earlier seemingly having fled—flanking the sun’s chariot, hooked to its frame and pulled along in its wake. All the while, Dan Heng walked through the quieting trees, pursuing the ever-increasing sound of the waterfall. Before too long, as he emerged from between the trees, the waterfall came into view.
Dan Heng froze in his tracks. The waterfall seemed impossibly tall, thundering like a raging dragon onto the rocks below. It was undoubtedly beautiful, but the sight somehow reminded him of Scalegorge Waterscape… and the Lunarescent Depths within. Even though the waterfall was completely different from that ancient ocean, something about its raw power and presence brought back those memories. I wonder if Stelle knew anything about this place besides it being a waterfall when she picked it out for me, he wondered, before dismissing the thought. It holds this meaning for none but me. A short vocalization escaped his throat as he composed himself and began to walk again. I’ll set up camp near its base. The spray from the falls will give me clarity and revitalize me.
Two trees, about ten feet from each other, caught Dan Heng’s eye. He dropped his backpack onto the soft, loamy ground, rolling his shoulders to work out the tension of carrying it for such a long period. After a moment, he unzipped the bag and pulled out the first item neatly packed within: his hammock. It took him only a few short minutes to set it up, stretching it between the twin pines. Once he had the hammock hung sufficiently high up to keep him out of the reach of any small forest creatures, Dan Heng pulled his small kettle out of his bag, along with a small fire-starting kit. He busied himself with preparing the fire.
As he worked, Dan Heng let his mind wander. Small forest creatures—why are they a concern? I guess they’re really not… I just want to be high up. It’s not like I’m going to get attacked by a raccoon or anything… ah, what a stupid thought! Frowning, Dan Heng tried to determine why that was his reasoning for hanging his hammock high. Oh, maybe… maybe it’s just my normal caution about being attacked by surprise combining with my wish that Stelle was here. I’ve always thought about how much she reminds me of a raccoon. Plus, she likes raccoons anyways. That must be it.
After a moment, the fire flared to life. Dan Heng blew steadily into its heart, and under his care, it soon grew big enough to hang a kettle over. Standing slowly, he picked up his kettle and walked over to the water with it. He didn’t dare to reach in—after all, rushing water is far too dangerous to be trifled with. He knew that well. Instead, just taking the top off and holding the kettle opening-first towards the waterfall filled it surprisingly quickly. Lots of spray coming off of the falls. I’ll be soaked by morning. Oh well, I’ll change clothes after I wake up and that’ll help me dry off pretty quickly. Dan Heng walked back over to his fire and suspended his kettle over it using a frame made of sticks. Then, he opened the front pocket of his bag, where he had packed his food earlier—a simple instant ramen bowl. Ripping open the packet of dried vegetables, he emptied it over the top of the bowl and then sat back to wait on his kettle.
It didn’t take long for the kettle to start whistling. The sound was piercing to his ears, which had long since gotten used to the constant thunder of the waterfall. He carefully removed the vessel from the heat. Reaching for his bag, he pulled out a tight-woven cloth and an elastic hair tie. He gingerly secured the cloth over the spout of the kettle and then poured the boiling water into his ramen bowl.
He began to eat while it was still hot, savoring the warmth. There weren’t a lot of things Dan Heng would admit to craving, but heat was certainly one of them. As such, he sought it whenever he had the opportunity to do so without potentially causing any issues or putting himself or others in danger. Having Stelle here would certainly be nice—if not just because I miss her, because the warmth from the Stellaron inside her is always so, so comforting. Ah, I miss her already. Smiling slightly to himself, Dan Heng allowed himself to get lost in thoughts of his amazing partner.
After he finished his ramen. Dan Heng disposed of the packaging in the trash bag he packed earlier. He reached into the next exposed strata of his bag, where his pajamas were carefully wrapped around a ceramic mug. It was yellow and white, with a trash can sloppily painted on the front and the words “World’s Worst Boyfriend” above it. This was a joke gift from Stelle, but Dan Heng still found himself cherishing it. Inside the mug was a tea bag. Dan Heng reached for the kettle and poured water into the mug. As he sat waiting for it to steep, he suddenly noticed a teal glow in his peripheral vision, emanating from somewhere behind him. He glanced at the source of the light—it was his tail, transparent and glowing brightly, curled up behind him. Ah. Looks like my tail and horns have made an appearance. He ran his hand along the top of his head, where he felt the smooth contours of his horns. Yep. This place must be affecting me more than I let on at first. Can’t be helped. The only way to truly accept the past is to accept it as ordinary, so I’ll just act as if nothing has happened. Dan Heng scowled slightly at his own imperfect solution, but decided to just let it pass. Scooping up his mug of tea with his tail and carefully cradling it, he walked over to the waterfall. The water’s shifting patterns were mesmerizing. Even in the slight moon- and fire-light, there was so much beauty visible within. Sipping his tea, Dan Heng continued to watch the waterfall for a short while.
Once the tea was gone, he returned to his small campsite and dropped the tea bag into his trash bag and rinsed out the mug. He poured the rest of the kettle out over the loamy soil and set it down to cool. Then, Dan Heng took his sleep clothes out of his bag. He quickly changed into his clothes for the night, shivering as his bare skin was exposed to the cold air. Then, he wrapped his clothes from that day around the mug and placed it carefully back into his backpack. He decided to wait until the camp stove and kettle cooled down so he could pack them in the morning.
After tidying up his campsite, Dan Heng took his toothbrush and toothpaste out of the front pocket of his bag and brushed his teeth by the river. Placing them back into his bag, he removed his hairbrush from the bag and let his hair down from the ponytail he had kept it in all day. It took a few minutes to untangle his hair after moving around all day, and the indentation from the hair tie left a crease near the back of his head. He shook his head back and forth, tossing his hair out of his face, before replacing the hairbrush in its usual spot.
It took a jump to get into his hammock, but it held fast as he landed in it. Sighing, he closed his eyes. He had to shift to the side to accommodate his tail, which put his back at a slightly odd position, but he attempted to ignore the discomfort. Once he had stopped shifting around, Dan Heng focused his thoughts on unpacking the happenings of the day and organizing them into the right spots—a ritual he repeated nightly, akin to how he organized and updated the data bank. As he sifted through thoughts and events, the lingering unease that had been stuck with him for the last few hours began to dissipate, folding as neatly as it could into his memories. A few short minutes passed before Dan Heng was asleep.
***
Something’s wrong.
The thought pierced his skull like a spear, and Dan Heng yelped, surging forwards. He found himself on his hands and knees, panting as he whipped his head around wildly to get his bearings.
I was in my hammock—where am I?? Dan Heng grasped behind him where his spear normally sat—No! it’s with my bag! Hissing, he quickly leapt to his feet. He was still in the woods. The sound of water was nearby. I’m still nearby the waterfall. Good. Breaking into a sprint, he chased the sound towards its source.
Rather than the waterfall, it’s a river that greeted him. His mouth fell slightly open. I could be upstream or downstream of the waterfall… or this could be a completely different river. Ahhh, what do I do…
Dan Heng leapt onto the riverbank and began running upstream, hoping that it would lead him back towards his campsite. As he ran, the thundering sound begins to grow louder and louder, and he sighed with cautious relief.
The waterfall that greeted him was even more towering than the one he had camped beside. Immediately, relief froze into renewed fear. Dan Heng stopped in his tracks and let out a pained groan, holding his chin as he stared up at this beast of a waterfall. But wait… The map said that there’s a bigger waterfall deeper into the forest, way upstream from the waterfall I camped at! The river bends… pretty severely between here and there, so I just have to cut through this forest a while and then I should be back. I’ll figure out how I got here later. I’m just going to focus on getting ho—
A whisper suddenly broke from the regular sounds of falling water. Dan Heng’s head snapped to look at it so fast he almost didn’t realize he had moved… because the whispers didn’t sound like water. They sounded like words.
“Dan Heng.”
He leapt back, bracing himself as he landed. Eyes wide, he stared into the monstrous waterfall, which reminded even more of his old homeland than the previous one.
“Dan Feng.”
Wiping all the emotion off his face, Dan Heng stayed frozen. The second word was spoken with a malice that he had experienced many times before…
“I know who you are. I know who you were. You ARE him.”
The waterfall’s voice slithered across his ears, and in it he heard many voices—those of people from his past, but also from his predecessor’s past.
“You will never be free of his legacy. You will never be free of my legacy.”
All of a sudden, the spray from the waterfall formed into a figure… and it looked just like Dan Heng. Its face formed into an open-mouthed gloating smirk.
“Your rebirth was never a true one. They still needed me. They purposefully kept me around because they can’t go on without my power! You aren’t a new person. Why do you think I still follow you, when no other Vidyadhara remembers their past life?”
He knew he should stop listening and run, but something about that voice kept him immobilized.
“Your sins… don’t you know that they can never be atoned for? Listen to what they say about you.”
The figure pointed straight at Dan Heng’s chest. Suddenly, a chorus of voices echoed out of the waterfall, each one saying something completely different… but somehow, Dan Heng understood them all at once. And every single one of them was accusatory.
“Traitor!” “Sinner!” “Betrayer!” It’s so loud…! “You betrayed your people.” “You betrayed your FRIENDS!” “You betrayed every single one of them and you killed THOUSANDS.” “WE WILL DRAG YOU BACK AND WE WILL FORCE YOU TO ATONE.”
Memories that Dan Heng had long since packed away suddenly broke free, flooding his mind…
His time in the Shackling Prison… those years and years he spent in captivity before he was even old enough to grasp his past incarnation’s actions…
The voice snarled out from the waterfall once again, dripping with malice and self-satisfaction. “Imbibitor Lunae! You will always be my shadow! No matter how much you try to wish it away, you are still ME.”
Dan Heng was running again, no regard for what was in front of him—stumbling over roots, kicking aside sticks, scrambling blindly forward in the glaring moonlight. The mask he had plastered on his face peeled away as his expression melted into one of unrestrained fear and despair. Behind him, the waterfall cackled… CACKLED! and began to taunt him again, but the words didn’t register. As he ran, he suddenly noticed that the pines alongside him were planted in perfect rows, diagonal lines that broke apart and reformed as he passed through them. In the gaps between trees, ghosts surged out—people that he used to know, people that he knew now—and every one of them jeered and screamed angrily at him.
“I’M NOT HIM! I’m not him I’m not him I’m not him I will NEVER BE HIM SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” he howled into the trees, but the ghosts didn’t leave. They just came closer and closer! The trees narrowed down into a choke point and they all ran close enough behind him to grasp at his tail and feet, dragging him back towards the waterfall so they could bring him back to face Dan Feng and to be enveloped by him and never move on and never atone for the sins of his predecessor… because he IS his predecessor and HE committed all those crimes and HE killed all those people and cursed that man with immortality and fractured the succession of his people’s leaders irreversibly!
They’re going to bring me in front of the Ten Lords’ Commission again and they’re going to torture me until they decide to kill me properly this time and I’ll never see my friends again because I am a criminal and a sinner who can never be forgiven—
All of a sudden, Dan Heng was shocked out of his trance by the sound of rushing water. He was standing right beside the river, looking over the waterfall… and he could see his campsite down below! The trees were a few steps behind him, and the crowd of ghosts still waited there, screaming at him with wide, empty eyes and reaching madly out from between the pines.
Dan Heng backed up towards the edge, his terrified eyes drinking in the sight of each person standing in front of him. There was Baiheng… and Jingliu, and Jing Yuan, and even Blade, and next to them were the judges of the Ten-Lords’ Commission and Bailu... And right behind them were the other members of the Astral Express Family.
There was March 7th, looking more scared than angry.
And Mr. Yang, a fierce expression on his face.
Himeko, her eyes ablaze with a fire he had only seen as she faced down the most despicable of enemies…
But… right next to her stood Stelle.
Stelle’s expression was unreadable at first, her bright yellow eyes seeming to flash as she stared at him. In contrast to the motion of all the other ghosts, Stelle was completely still. As he stared into her shining face, the neutral expression suddenly broke and she was smiling at him, eyes full of pity and something else that he couldn’t quite place… it almost looked like forgiveness.
Dan Heng’s panicked breathing began to slow as he took a short step forward. He surveyed the line of ghosts once more and took a deep, measured breath.
Just like Himeko taught him to do whenever he was anxious.
Shaking his head, he once again approached the edge of the waterfall. His tail lashed and he looked over the edge as the whole area around him began to glow with turquoise light, casting a pattern over the ground that rippled like light over the sea.
After a moment, Dan Heng exhaled sharply.
“I am not him.” His voice was somehow steady even though his heart still seemed to twist and leap about in his chest. “I will never be him.”
And with that, Dan Heng vaulted off the edge of the waterfall.
The cold air ripped the moisture out of his eyes and he narrowed them against the blast, stretching out his limbs and tail to slow his fall. With an echoing cry, he pushed his arms out to his sides, and a curtain of water detached from the pummeling waterfall. It immediately formed into the wings of a dragon at his sides, slowing his fall just enough that he could safely glide back down to his campsite.
As he landed, he executed a messy front roll to dissipate the last of his momentum. Dan Heng packed his belongings as quickly as he could, haphazardly bundling them all in his hammock and shoving them into his backpack. He zipped it up and yanked his spear, Cloud-Piercer, off the back. Dan Heng clutched it close to his side as he fled from the waterfall, leaving it in his wake.
The journey back to his car was short compared to his earlier walk to the campsite—probably because he took the whole thing at a run, not slowing down until he was in his car and had the key in the ignition. After that, he stayed still for a moment, breathing slowly and deeply. Once he was sure he was calm enough to drive, he pulled out of the spot he had parked in earlier and got back on the road, heading towards the place he rented the car from so he could get back aboard the Astral Express.
I must have been sleepwalking somehow. I have no idea how I managed to make it that far, climbing up the waterfall and wading through the river that far upstream. Next time, I’ll… honestly, I don’t know. I had no way to predict that all THAT would happen. I guess I’ll just keep my map and compass in my pocket? Dan Heng puzzled over the night’s events—although it was truly still night, with the clock on his dashboard reading “3:12 AM.” All he wanted was to get back to the Express and leave this behind him… but also, he truly wanted to see Stelle and the others again.
***
As soon as Dan Heng was on the Astral Express, he made his way to the Archives, where both he and Stelle had been staying. As soon as he entered, he noticed that she was awake, sitting at the desk and perusing a stack of papers.
“S…Stelle,” Dan Heng greeted her, voice wavering slightly as she turned to look at him.
“Dan Heng? You’re back early. Something happen?” Her response was full of concern, golden eyes squinting as she looked at him.
“I ran into… him again.” Dan Heng glanced at the ground, stepping through the door and letting it close behind him. “It brought back memories I… would rather not think about right now.”
“Oh, I’m… I’m sorry I made you leave,” Stelle responded with a frown, her shoulders drooping. “I really hoped you’d be able to rest…”
“It’s not your fault. It was just a… I don’t even know what to call it. Some sort of a hallucination or dream, I don’t even know. It was very real in the moment, and I couldn’t—” Dan Heng’s explanation was broken by a quiet sob, and he threw his hand up to cover his mouth. Stelle’s eyes widened slightly, and she ran over to where Dan Heng was standing. She threw her arms around him, squeezing tightly and patting him reassuringly on the head as tears ran down his face.
“Oh, Dan Heng…” Her voice was full of compassion and a tinge of fear, wondering what he could’ve faced this time. Stelle gently guided Dan Heng over to their shared bed on the floor of the Archives, sitting them both down and laying his head in her lap. She gently pulled his quilt over him and began stroking his hair, humming softly to herself as she waited for him to compose himself enough to explain.
After a few minutes, Dan Heng let out a shuddering sigh and opened his eyes, staring up at her. “I saw Dan Feng again. He reminded me of those fears that I still have, as much as I’ve tried to accept them and move on.” With that, he explained the whole story to Stelle, omitting no detail. He paused a few times to collect himself, but aside from that, it didn’t take long for him to recall the night’s happenings to her. “But you, Stelle… You were the only one who didn’t seem upset at me. Even March—she looked terrified, but you just stared at me, and then you smiled, and somehow it gave me the strength to break free and renounce his legacy once again.”
“I’m proud of you, Dan Heng.” Stelle’s voice was strong, carrying all the reassurance he needed and more. “You are your own person, and you are not bound by the actions of your predecessor. I know that, everyone here on the Express knows it, and I’ll make sure the whole cosmos knows it if that’s what it takes to cast even a few of the shadows off your back. I promise you that, Dan Heng.” Closing his eyes, Dan Heng let out a tired sigh, a smile ghosting across his face.
“Thank you, Stelle. I would be nothing without you.” As he says that, she indignantly huffed and poked him on the side of his head.
“No, silly, that’s just not true at all! You’re your own person, remember?” She chuckled, patted him on the head, and began absentmindedly stroking his hair again. “But I really do appreciate it. Your words mean more to me than you know. Wherever the Express takes us, I’ll be by your side, even if I can’t shoulder all of your burdens. You’re stronger than you know, Dan Heng. I know that you’ll be able to cast off the ghosts of your previous incarnation and walk a path that truly belongs to you—and I know that you’re already well on your way to doing just that.” The warmth emanating from Stelle due to the Stellaron she carried was heavenly, and it reminded him of just how late it was and how little sleep he had gotten. He smiled again, already beginning to doze off.
“Next time, I want you to come with me, Galactic Baseballer,” he murmured, catching her hand and holding it to the side of his face.
“Will do, Cold Dragon Young!” Stelle chuckled again as she looked down at her sleepy boyfriend. She slid down the bookshelf she had been leaning on until she was laying down, Dan Heng’s head still resting on her stomach. It’s about time I also get some rest, she considers. Plus, I don’t want to interrupt his sleep. He’s had an eventful enough night already.
Stelle carefully freed her hand, which Dan Heng had been holding, and clapped twice to turn off the lights in the room. At his slight sound of protest, she slipped her hand back into his grasp, resting it against his cold face. “Good night, Dan Heng. Sleep well.”
And with that, she also drifted off to sleep, letting her dreams wander until morning dawned once again.