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Summary:

Eurylochus and Polites are babysitting their favorite nephew. And, like the grown ass men they are, they decide to ask this literal baby who his favorite is.

Notes:

rotating them around my head like a merry-go-round

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

“This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms…”

Eurylochus watched Polites sway around the giggling baby in his arms, his little legs kicking in delight. “You’re such a natural with him.”

“What, jealous?” Polites chuckled, reaching down to pluck a flower from the palace garden. He sat down on the grass and placed the blossom on Telemachus’ wispy hair; the prince looked utterly baffled.

“Yes.” Eurylochus sat down as well across from them. “Of course I am. And he seems to like you better.”

“Oh, sure!” Polites laughed out loud this time. “I doubt it. He loves you too. He just happens to like me better.”

“Don’t get cocky, there.”

“Oh, I gave every reason to be cocky!” Polites smirked at him, leaning closer. “Would you like to test it?”

“Test it how?”

“Oh, just…” leaving Telemachus crawling around on the grass like a hyperactive beetle, Polites stood up, and Eurylochus followed his lead. “Let’s both back away. See who he chases after.”

“Stupid,” Eurylochus muttered, but when Polites counted down, he backed up three paces- the equivalent of Polites’ four- and knelt down on the grass. “Telemachus?”

“Tele,” Polites grinned, holding his arms out. “C’mere! You know you want to!”

The prince lifted his head, and for a moment simply looked around, astonished that his two supposedly adoring uncles would leave him alone. After a moment of glancing between them, he babbled something that sounded like “Po-po” and started crawling over to where Polites knelt.

The shorter man whooped as he welcomed the child into his open arms. “There! It’s settled, then, he likes me better!”

“I suppose he does,” Eurylochus muttered. It wasn’t completely surprising, everyone loved Polites, was instantly drawn in by his sunshine. “You’re-”

Arf!

Eurylochus looked up at Argos galloped past, chasing after a bird fluttering through a nearby grove of trees. The loud bark startled Telemachus, as the prince seemed to jolt at the noise, and with a whine he stumbled out of Polites’ arms, scrambling across the distance towards safety with Eurylochus.

Oh.

Eurylochus caught the babe, scooping him up easily and pulling him to his chest with hardly a second thought. “Shhhh, it’s alright, prince. Just Argos.”

Meanwhile, Polites watched with a mouth agape, scooting across to be closer to them. “What was that? He likes me better until he hears a scary noise? Does he feel safer with you?”

Eurylochus looked down at Telemachus, who was curling into his chest like he was trying to burrow into his very skin. “I…suppose it could mean that.”

Odd, considering when Telemachus cried, Eurylochus grew nervous as well and tried to find someone else for help. But…recently he’d been having an easier time soothing him, simply by placing him on his chest and letting the prince lounge there. Waiting until his slow breathing and heartbeat steadied the child.

Telemachus cooed as his tiny, chubby fingers closed around one of Eurylochus’ fingers and pulled his hand closer, to cover him like a blanket of security. Then his pretty hazel eyes opened, pleadingly staring at Polites until his godfather gave in and settled next to Eurylochus. Only then did he relax and close his eyes, safe with two people to treasure him.

Notes:

And then Paris didn’t fuck things up for everybody and Telemachus got to grow up with Uncle Eurylochus and Uncle Polites and his dad loving on him forever and ever the end

#sighs wistfully#I wish I were Telemachus…#wait what who said that

I imagine they had a competition to see whose name Tele said first. ‘Eury’ is probably a lot harder for a baby to say then ‘po(lites)’. u-wee (is how i imagine it coming out).
me who knows nothing about babies asking google really dumb questions, ‘when do babies become toddlers’ when they can toddle. You fool