Archive of Our Own ^beta

Shisui can feel the waves of intense gaze coursing in his direction ever since he sat with Rei for a small talk. When he first sensed being watched, he expected it to be a dysfunctional root operative but instead he found Kakashi tearing his gaze away when he glanced back, trying to appear nonchalant. It elicits a small smile for Shisui and he quickly hides it behind his glass. Kakashi's embarrassed retreat could've surprised Shisui to his core, if they are not already in this recurring perpetuation of studying each other for the last two months.

Their not so constant 'accidental' run-ins are even getting noticed by their fellows but they choose not to comment on it (yet). It's almost like they are each other's barycenter so it is natural to be in each other's orbit.

The manouever started as of here-and-there eye contacts and quickly averting gazes when got caught but that rolled into something when the gazes started to linger or when it took time to turn the gaze aside. It becomes bold, almost like a challenge to see who is gonna tear their gaze away first. but at times they will be in square one like this.

It's almost like all he can see is Kakashi during their time off. He is not complaining though. who doesn't like to see their crush doing mundane activities sneaking glances at you, when your own heart picks up the speed.

Did he like the attention? Yes, it leaves him giddy and light being on the receiving end of it.

Did he like the frequent eye contact they shared? Yes, a winged flutter settles in his stomach every time and refuses to leave.

Did he like that it was from Kakashi? Yes. His mind and body had taken to these foolish, unguarded reactions far more often than he cared to admit.

Did he like Kakashi? That.

That was the origin of it all, the way his entire being seems to lit from within, a radiant fire that never burned, only warmed, only gathered, leaving him soft and fuzzy in its glow.

He knows by now that Kakashi is interested in him like he does. It leaves him tossing and turning over in his own bed with a stupid smile plastered across his face, sighing to himself and in a state where his mind replays the day especially when there are accidental touches during the day.

The thoughts consume most of his time but he is also aware that there is a bit of reluctance in taking the next step from both sides. The awareness is exactly why he decided to meet Rei to know how to proceed further. Shisui expected things to settle into something but the manoeuver is not moving at the pace he wants to.

"Rei-san, how is your relationship with Natusmi -san is faring? I heard that the talk about weddings is going on, Are there any dates that are finalised?"

Rei keeps his cup down before starting, "As you know, the wedding date is yet to be finalised ,though I'm not sure how it interests you Shisui kun" he continues with eyes slightly narrowing on Shisui.

"Don't mistake me Rei san, I'm just curious" he quickly defends himself.

Rei raises a single brow at it "I can see that you have something sitting on the tip of your tongue, go ahead"

"Ah, you see..if two people like each other and you know that by how they act, in this case how does someone approach someone when they know.. that the said someone like them too but hesitant ... I don't know maybe do they fear intimacy? " he fiddles with his fingers on his lap.

Rei takes a look at Shisui's down cast eyes on his own lap and understands how serious it is for him, "Shisui kun, I'm glad you asked me this, The answer for your question can be found within. Whether we know it or not, most of us are afraid of really being in love. While our fears may manifest themselves in different ways or show themselves at different stages of a relationship, we all harbor defenses that we believe on some level will protect us from getting hurt. These defenses may offer us a false illusion of safety or security, but they keep us from attaining the closeness we most desire."

Shisui focuses his attention back on Rei and listens,

"A new relationship is an uncharted territory, and most of us have natural fears of the unknown. Letting ourselves fall in love means taking a real risk. We are placing a great amount of trust in another person, allowing them to affect us, which makes us feel exposed and vulnerable. Our core defenses are challenged. Any habits we’ve long had that allow us to feel self-focused or self-contained start to fall by the wayside. We tend to believe that the more we care, the more we can get hurt. "

"Oh, that is why..." he deflates a little but continues "It is workable right, can someone accept that love s for them despite the hindrances? because us Shinobis have the love relationship ratio higher than civilians"

Rei chuckles at the statement, "True. Especially us, The Uchiha are known for mistaking devotion for sanity. So, if the 'said someone' is worth it then go for it."

"Ha, I think you mistook Rei san, I was just wondering about it generally not anything particular" he chuckles nervously.

Rei levels him with an unimpressed glare, "if you say so" he settles saying instead of calling out him on his bullshit and takes a sip from his glass.

"in this case what do you do?" Shisui continues to probe him.

“So you step forward without cornering them,” he concludes. “You make your intent known, and then you give them the space to meet you there or not.”

Shisui lets out a short laugh. “Right. That makes sense.”

Rei hums, unconvinced. His gaze drifts past Shisui’s shoulder, just for a moment, and he catches Kakashi lingering a little too long, attention straying back in their direction more often than necessary.

“…Of course it is,” Rei says, deadpan.

He takes another sip from his glass and looks away, clearly finished. “Well. If this hypothetical situation ever stops being theoretical, I trust the people involved will eventually tire of pretending.”

Shisui blinks. “Rei-san?”

Rei exhales, between a sigh and a chuckle. “Nothing. I’ve simply reached the limit of my patience for unnecessary drivel.”

"What? It is not !!" Shisui defends himself to Rei's back who started walking away from the table and left Shisui to churn on with the knowledge he shared.

-

The next day with the few found conviction, Shisui prepared a ploy to know about Kakashi, his favorites, his past, his relationship with dad everything, everything he could get his hands on from him. Thanks to Genma and his drunken rambling, he got to know about the welfare check survey soon to be conducted on Yondaime Hokage's order to gather details of the jonins to ensure their well-being, though it will be started after a week officially but that's  just not Shisui's problem.

He is dressed in his standard jonin uniform, a test pad in his hands, he teleports to land in front of the Hatake compound.

Shisui walks towards Kakashi's home like he knows the route by heart (he does) and waits up for the door to open as he can sense the wards getting disturbed. after a minute or two, the door opened to reveal a Sakumo in his polished attire looking ready to leave.

"Shisui kun, what brings you here?" Sakumo greets him with a small smile as he opens the door wide.

"Good morning Sakumo san" Shisui bows respectfully and continues "This is regards with the welfare survey of Konoha jonins, a group is tasked with checking on our Village jonins about their well-being. I'm here to check on Kakashi senpai to gather information. Is Kakashi senpai here?" he finishes quickly without stuttering.

"Ah yes, Kakashi is in the shower. I'll get him. come inside Shisui kun"

Shisui places himself on the sofa which Sakumo points to before leaving to get Kakashi. Shisui tries to calm himself down while trying not to succumb to the urge to flee and simultaneously fighting down the internal conflict of lying not just to a respected elder but to the director of anbu affairs. Convincing himself that this is a pre-survey phase and that he is not committing a potential fraud is taking monumental effort.

Clutching the test pad tightly he gets up and tries to distract himself by looking at the pictures on the wall. It's adorned with the multiple pictures of  dad and son in varying ages from Sakumo's wedding pictures, Kakashi's academic graduation, their fishing trip, pictures with his ninken pack and kid kakashi carrying ridiculously huge fish with a big smile plastered on his masked face to his recent pictures of Team Minato in Ichiraku, all of them grown.

The sound of Sakumo's voice pries his attention away from the wall to Kakashi who is standing there in his sleeveless tanktop and pants.

"Shisui kun is here to gather information for a survey, so co-operate with him and make his work easy, Kakashi" Sakumo continues as he takes his headband from the nearby drawer.

"Otousan, I will do what's necessary, you make me sound like he is dealing with a kid" Kakashi deadpan.

"HaHaHa, You are always my kid" both Sakumo and Kakashi say in unison which prompts another round of laughter from Sakumo.

"Can I expect Kagami to be in the Hokage tower at this time?" Sakumo questions Shisui.

"Yes, he left early today Sakumo san"

"That's good, Ittekimasu" he says before leaving them there in the living room.

"Itterasshai" Kakashi says while Shisui mumbles the same. After a beat of silence Kakashi starts,

"So, what do we have here"

Kakashi clasps his hands together gaining Shisui's attention to him again.

"Kakashi senpai, I'm here to get some of your information"

"Hmm, let's get started with the questions but not here, let's go to my room, I need to towel my hair dry"

"Uh.. yes, we could" Shisui answers.

Kakashi leads the way upstairs to his room Shisui following him. Once they entered the room, Kakashi gestures for him to take a seat in the chair.

Shisui obeys waiting for Kakashi to come back. Kakashi picks a towel and sits in his bed asking Shisui to move his chair closer.

Shisui drags the chair on the carpet positioning  it close to the bed so that he can smell the lavendar body wash and starts to panic internally when his brain registers the proximity.

"Looking at the first question, after a difficult mission how do you usually wind down, are you able to rest fully the same night?"

"It depends on the mission, if it's physically taxing I'll hit the bed in a blink of an eye after refreshing" he answers, wrapping the towel in his hair.

"Good. could you tell me how your eating habits are after missions, Especially long or high-intensity ones?"

Kakashi hums, thinking. "sometimes I’m not hungry right away. I will eat later. I prefer having something warm."

"Anything specific?"

"Curry raisu, Oyakodon, sometimes Soup. Whatever soup comes easy to my father"

Shisui writes it down, nodding as if this is exactly the kind of data he expected.

"After particularly difficult missions," he asks, "do you have any routines? Things you do consistently?"

Kakashi considers this one longer.

"I clean my weapons," he says finally. "Even if they don’t need it."

Shisui pauses mid-word.

"…I see."

"It helps," Kakashi adds. "Keeps my hands and mind busy."

Shisui writes that down carefully.

"Is there someone you rely on after missions like that?" he asks next.

Kakashi answers easily. "Yes."

Shisui looks up again, “May I note who?"

"My father," Kakashi says, "Sometimes Minato-sensei. Occasionally Obito and Rin if I’m in the mood to argue."

"And your relationship with them?  he asks, curious. "How would you describe it?"

"Stable, They are my cheerleaders and anchors"

"That’s… good," Shisui says quietly, before catching himself and clearing his throat. "Thank you."

Kakashi unwrap the towel from his hair and rubbed it on his hair one last time before placing it in the bed.

"Next question," Shisui says, "Do you ever think about having someone come home to?"

That question caught Kakashi's curiosity, “Is that part of the survey?”

"It’s…" He chooses his words carefully. “A newly added question. Recent revisions."

"…I see."

He leans back slightly, pulling his mask down and hands braced behind him on the bed.

"Yes," Kakashi answers. "I do."

"Alright.." Shisui marks the answers in the test pad he holds.

Kakashi leans a little into Shisui's personal space. "So, they didn't ask who I might want to come home to? "

Shisui lifts his head up to meet Kakashi eye to eye, their lips inches apart

"Senpai, I- " Shisui struggles to find words in the state, his heart running miles away.

"The other questions were thorough, I'm curious" Kakashi's voice drops a register.

Shisui’s breath stutters despite himself.

"Kakashi-senpai?" he asks, flustered now, "I— I can rephrase if—"

Kakashi hand closes around Shisui’s wrist gently lowering the clipboard completely. The pretense falls with it.

"Shisui," Kakashi says quietly.

Kakashi pulls him forward in one smooth motion, drawing him off the chair and into his lap.

Shisui gasps softly, hands instinctively bracing against Kakashi’s shoulders.

"Kaka—" He cuts himself off, face burning. "I— this wasn’t— I mean—"

Kakashi silences him by kissing him. For a heartbeat, Shisui freezes then melts into it, breath shaky, fingers curling into the fabric at Kakashi’s shoulders like he needs the anchor.

Kakashi kisses him again. Shisui makes a soft, startled sound before it’s swallowed, his fingers tightening where they’re braced against Kakashi’s shoulders. Shisui's lips are soft against Kakashi's lower lip caught and tugged before he eases it free with a slow sweep of his mouth. Their breaths tangle, uneven, as he tilts his head and deepens it, kissing like he’s trying to learn the shape of him by memory alone. A hand slides up, fingers firm at the back of Shisui's neck, holding him there while the kiss grows heavier, wetter, unashamed of the sound it makes when he pulls back just long enough to breathe and then presses in again.

Kakashi doesn’t let the kiss soften again. He follows Shisui’s mouth when it pulls away, catching it, stealing another breathless kiss before shifting his grip and tipping them backward. The mattress takes Shisui’s weight with a muted thump, the world narrowing to heat and pressure as Kakashi comes down over him, braced on one arm, the other still curled firmly at the back of Shisui’s neck. The kiss turns open and chasing, a little reckless when Shisui’s lips parted under Kakashi’s as he arches into it without thinking, hands sliding from Kakashi’s shoulders to clutch at his shirt like he might lose him if he lets go. Kakashi kisses him like he’s starving, like restraint has finally snapped, mouth moving insistently against his, breath hot and uneven, breaking the kiss only to press it back together again harder, deeper, until Shisui’s pulse is loud in his ears and the mattress creaks faintly beneath them.

Shisui is flushed, eyes wide, thoroughly undone.

“…I’ll take that as,” Shisui manages, voice barely steady, “a preference.”

Kakashi’s eye crinkles with quiet amusement. His arm tightens around Shisui’s waist, keeping him exactly where he is.

“That,” Kakashi says softly, “was my answer.”

Shisui swallows, heart racing.

“…I think,” he admits, flustered and honest now, “this survey is officially compromised.”

Kakashi hums. “Good, because I'm about to take my time reading you”

"Kakashi senpai, about the survey" Shisui mumbles his gaze dropping to Kakashi's chest.

He gulps before continuing, "The survey isn't authorised by Yondaime Hokage..... yet, it's me. I-I lied" he holds his breath and closes his eye not having a heart to see the disappointed look but he didn't expect is for a hearty unrestrained laughter to reach his ears.

Shisui opened his eyes and instinctly his sharingan swirl to life the engraving the laughter of Kakashi into his memory like it's the most natural thing to do, the awareness hit after a moment as he quietly mumbles a sorry before his eyes settling to the obsidian.

Kakashi pulls Shisui closer to his chest, "Well, A little reckless. But… genuine. I like that" he pressed on Shisui's crown.

"So you are not mad?" Shisui asks still not believing that it all went well.

"I’ve been wondering," he admits, "whether I imagined it."

Shisui blinks. "Imagined…?"

"That pull," Kakashi says. "The way eye contacts linger longer than they need to. The way I kept finding excuses to be in your vicinity."

His arm shifts, drawing Shisui a fraction closer to reassure.

"I didn’t know what the appropriate next step was," Kakashi continues. "You outrank me in some ways. Outpace me in others. And I…" He pauses, searching for the right word. "…don’t like misreading people."

"So whenever you are around me or whatever the pull was," Kakashi says quietly, "I told myself it was safer to play along."

Shisui’s voice drops. "And if I hadn’t… crossed that line?"

Kakashi considers that "I think," he says, "I’d have kept standing still. Waiting for a sign I wasn’t allowed to ask for or maybe I don't know Shisui."

Shisui lets out a shaky breath, tension finally easing from his shoulders. He leans in slightly, forehead brushing Kakashi’s jaw.

"I didn’t mean to corner you," he murmurs.

"You didn’t," Kakashi replies, just as softly. "You gave me an opening."

"…I’m glad," Kakashi adds, almost to himself, "that you took the step. I don’t think I would have, not without overthinking it into nothing."

Shisui’s lips curve, small and relieved.

"So......Can I have another kiss now?"

Kakashi smiles before answering, leaning in and pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his lips.

When they part, they’re both smiling.

By the look of it, neither of them will be leaving for work anytime soon, the kind of closeness they’ve found clearly demands to be revisited by their lips, repeatedly, until time itself gives up waiting.

-

Somewhere in Konoha, a beaming voice ricochets off the apartment walls as Genma stands buried in his room surrounded by a disarry of clothes  and half-open drawers.

"WHERE THE FUCK DID I PUT MY SURVEY DOCUMENT???????"