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When Aigis first reawakens, things such as gender mean little to her. Even when Yukari calls her a girl, she rejects the notion. She is not a girl, she is Aigis. And Aigis does not have a gender. Robots do not have a gender.
That’s what she thinks until she begins to develop more. Then she finds herself wondering… Can robots have a gender? Is there something wrong if they do not want to have one?
Aigis is Aigis. Aigis is a she. But Aigis is not a girl. At least, even as her feelings grow and Kotone holds her close, she does not feel like one. She still simply feels as if she is Aigis. Was that normal?
She’s staring at herself in the mirror, feeling nothing about the feminine shape she sees, when Kotone finds her considering such things. Kotone, who was a girl, did it so well. So flawlessly that Aigis doubts she’s even thought the same things Aigis is thinking right now.
“Kotone-san,” Aigis turns to look at her, lower lip trembling oh-so-slightly. “...I would like to talk to you about something.”
“Of course, Aigis!” Kotone chirps as she comes up next to her. “I was wondering what you were doing in here so long, since you don’t have to, you know…”
She gestures towards the stalls. Aigis gives a small laugh.
“I was simply looking at myself,” Aigis looks back at her reflection and smooths down her hair. “I look… like a girl.”
“You do,” Kotone nods. “That’s why everyone just kinda calls you a girl.”
“I understand,” Aigis replies. She’s frowning without meaning to.
Kotone hums. “People sometimes assume a lot based on how you look, don’t they?”
“They do,” Aigis says after a long moment of thought. “Even I have been guilty of such.”
“Guilty,” Kotone echoes the word. “So you sort of… agree that it’s kinda lame people do that, huh?”
Aigis flinches more than she would like to admit. “...Yes.”
“You look like a girl,” Kotone says after a moment, her hand wrapping around one of Aigis’s arms. “That doesn’t mean you have to be one, though.”
“It does not?” Aigis asks.
“Nope, you can be a boy instead, or even just be Aigis,” Kotone says. “My Aigis, no matter what or who you end up being, right?”
“Your Aigis,” she nods as she turns to face her. “Neither a girl nor a boy, if you will still have me.”
“Of course,” Kotone smiles at her, a bright thing that makes Aigis’s Papillion Heart alight in her chest. “I wouldn’t want anything less than the most authentic Aigis experience I can get!”
“You are always so good to me, Kotone-san,” Aigis doesn’t know why, but she feels as if she might cry. “I… I was afraid. That perhaps there was something wrong. That I’ve become so much more me, but still, the idea of being a girl was so wrong. I…”
“Nothing is wrong with you,” Kotone replies, her hand moving to hold Aigis’s. “You’re Aigis, and whoever you are is someone worth loving. Forever and always.”
“Forever and always,” Aigis’s voice shakes, and the tears begin to fall. “Kotone-san, I… Thank you.”
“Of course,” She places her forehead against Aigis’s. “And we can make sure everyone else gets it, too! Even if it might take a little time.”
“Koromaru-san is surprisingly open to the idea already,” Aigis informs. “He says dogs such as himself care little for the idea of gender.”
Kotone blinks at that, and then she just laughs. Laughs and laughs, a sound that’s so beautiful to Aigis’s ears. She laughs along with her, a smile coming to her face. Overtaking the worried features that stared back at her not long ago.
Having someone who understands… Aigis thinks there’s no greater blessing than that. As they stand together and laugh in the bathroom long enough, Yukari and Fuuka both come to check on them. As Kotone winks and tells them they’ll talk about it later. As she squeezes Aigis’s hand and reminds her she’s not alone in this.
Just like every other emotion Aigis has felt, every bit of her that’s become more human over time… Kotone will be there to understand and nurture it. At Aigis’s side, making her the luckiest person in the world.
“You know, I wonder if Ken’s gonna be like, the next most willing to just accept it,” Kotone says when the laughing stops and they’re alone again. “He’s so young, maybe they haven’t sold him on Big Gender yet.”
Aigis tilts her head to the side. “Big Gender?”
“Just a joke,” Kotone waves a hand in the air. “Akihiko-senpai is actually probably are best bet. I once heard him tell a trans kid at school that a real man isn’t determined by his sex.”
Aigis nods seriously at that. “Then he will understand a real… not man or woman is not defined by her body.”
“Exactly!” Kotone tugs her towards the exit. “Come on, let’s go find him!”
Aigis smiles and nods. “Yes, let us!”
Kotone was gone, but Aigis is still here. After all that pain, all that struggle… That’s what Aigis chooses to remember as she puts on the pants of the Gekkoukan uniform for the first time. Still registered as a girl, but given this leniency with the help of Mitsuru and Yukari.
Not quite a girl, not quite a boy. Just Aigis. The Aigis Kotone had loved. The Aigis Kotone would be proud of, no matter what came. An Aigis that would be herself, even when others didn’t understand.
Because Kotone had understood her and given her the bravery and strength to face a new day. No matter the challenges it brought.
“My, look at you!” Elizabeth’s chirp breaks through her thoughts as she steps out into the new day. “A change from your usual skirt, is it not?”
“It is,” Aigis nods at the attendant who had helped her for the timeloop. That had helped Kotone before that. “I wanted to wear something that is a bit more… me, as they say.”
“She did mention something about that,” Elizabeth taps her chin. “An excitement about her partner being not quite a girlfriend nor a boyfriend! Developing into her own self, and still not seeing that gender thing humans do as all that important.”
“I am a person, like any human,” Aigis admits. “But the idea of the way I look determining what I am is quite silly. Kotone-san agreed.”
“She was a forward thinker, that Kotone!” Elizabeth chirps in agreement. “A shame my dear guest is so far from us now…”
Aigis shakes her head, a small chuckle escaping. “I once thought similarly to you, Elizabeth-san, but you are wrong.”
“Am I?” Elizabeth asks, an eyebrow raised. “Do tell.”
“Even with her gone, she watches over us,” Aigis places a hand to her chest. “She would want us to carry on, to make use of the lives she loved enough to give her own for.”
“Do you not miss her?” Elizabeth asks.
“Of course I miss her, you saw the Abyss,” Aigis replies. “But just as much as I miss her, I am her Aigis. It would be wrong not to live this life to the fullest, as myself, in her honor.”
“How sweet, you two truly were madly in love,” Elizabeth lets out a dreamy sigh. “It’s too bad you won her heart. I was quite fond of her as well, you know.”
“Did you ever tell her?” Aigis asks.
“Once, but never as directly as it seems you did!” Elizabeth shrugs. “My own fault, really. Maybe I should have also tried out this nonbinary sort of living.”
Nonbinary. Aigis’s brow furrows as she turns the word over in her head. She likes it. Might start using it, now that she knows there’s a term for it. She and Kotone had been stumbling through it, trying to find the words.
She imagines the way Kotone would say it, eyes crossing in concentration as she gets used to the mouthfeel. It’s a sweet image, because Aigis knows Kotone would do it until it felt right. Until she could say Aigis’s identity with pride.
But that didn’t mean what was right for Aigis was right for Elizabeth. She looks at the woman and straightens her back.
“Do you feel as if you are nonbinary?” She asks. “Or would it simply be to try and compete with me?”
“Oh, well, I haven’t really thought about gender in any depth,” Elizabeth waves a hand in the air. “So I suppose it may come across more as just competition.”
“I think that would have been bad,” Aigis shakes her head. “You should only explore such things if they feel right to you and you are curious to know yourself better.”
“My,” Elizabeth puts a hand to her mouth in faux shock. “I didn’t know you cared so much. I’m flattered!”
“You were important to Kotone-san as well, and you helped me,” Aigis looks at her, expression soft. “She would want you to be happy. I want you to be happy, Elizabeth-san.”
“And I you, my dear second guest,” she bows towards the android. “Thank you for the enlightening conversation. I have much to think on. Good luck with your nonbinaryness!”
She’s gone as quickly as she came, Aigis barely able to wave at her. She was going to thank her for the luck wished… But she supposes that she can wait. Something tells Aigis this wasn’t the last she would see of Elizabeth, after all.