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The next day, I woke up next to Copia and I slowly pulled myself out of bed, stretching my body and letting all of my bones pop. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that my horns were completely covered in soot from the previous day’s stress. Today, I decided to deviate from my daily routine of showering in the communal bathhouse as soon as I got out of bed, but instead decided to take a quick shower in my private bathroom, brush my fur, put on deodorant, brush my teeth, and file off the soot from my horns. While I was finishing my routine, Copia stirred from his sleep and saw me singing quietly to myself while cleaning my horns. “We focus on your death. We focus on your deaath. You share not the blood of our-wow-wowers. Thus, we focus on your death.” I sang almost silently. Copia sat up in my bed, letting out a yawn. “Good morning.” He greeted me, noticing my lazy choice of attire. “I don’t think that I’ve seen you in sweatpants for a little bit.” Copia pointed out with a hint of amusement. “Well, I’m not supposed to be doing anything for a little bit, right? So why would I put on actual pants?” I asked, wiping off my horns with a cloth. “There’s no need to defend yourself, Olive. You’re allowed to have lazy days, especially with how hard you constantly work yourself. Just take it easy today.” Copia said, standing up and fixing his clothes. “Oh, and Satan wanted me to ask you something.” The retired Papa added, snapping his fingers when the thought clicked into his head. I let out a quiet trill, turning around to look at Copia, wondering what he was going to ask me. “Would you like to start participating in rituals? Of course, you’d have to go through initiation, but I’m sure that you’ll do well.” Copia explained, walking up to me. “It depends on what kind of rituals. Like what’s the range of the types of rituals?” I asked, setting down the now soot covered cloth onto my dresser. “Think of being able to participate in the tours, goat sacrifices, helping out with the worship sessions, and etcetera. There's no penalty if you say no.” Copia clarified, keeping his tone neutral. “If I can pick and choose the ones that I participate in, I accept.” I replied, waiting for Copia’s response. “Of course, you don’t have to do every single ritual if you don’t want to.” Copia said, patting my head with one of his hands.
I then finished getting ready, only to realize that I didn’t have to do anything today. “Wait, Copia.” I mumbled, turning my head over my shoulder to look at the retired Papa. “I’m sorry for freaking out on you yesterday. I’m usually so much more composed, but everything was out of whack-!” I said before Copia interrupted me. “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. Today will be better, so let’s not focus on the bad things that happened yesterday.” He said, patting my shoulder. I fully turned my body around to look at Copia as he spoke again. “Though, I’m going to have to ask you to give up anything that can harm you. I don’t want to have people ransack your room if you can just show me where all of your weapons are.” Copia added, pulling his hand away. The silence in the room quickly became deafening before I let out a sigh. “Fine.” I mumbled, pulling out all of my weapons from my closet, which was a baseball bat, a few knives that I used for cooking most of the time, and the rest that I won’t name. “All of them, Olive.” Copia instructed, only to receive a groan in response as I unhooked the small dagger that I kept strapped to my ankle, handing it to the retired Papa. “That should be it.” I mumbled, leaving my room.
“Wait!” Copia interjected, making me stop in my tracks mid-step. The retired Papa then lifted up the back of my shirt and checked my torso for any burns that I had checked out by the doctor the previous day; only to find none, which indicated that they had all healed. “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure that everything healed up for you. Which they have. If they weren’t healed, I would’ve bandaged them up after disinfecting them.” Copia explained, patting my back as he let me go. I only let out a huff in response before walking out the door.
I felt my stomach growl once I actually left my room and ended up walking myself over to the cafeteria to grab breakfast, ignoring that Copia was most likely searching and going through my room. Before I could make it to the cafeteria, a puff of smoke appeared and Satan quickly stopped me. The stench of sulfur ran through my nose and caused me to sneeze in Satan’s face. “What do you want?” I asked, wiping my face with a gloved hand and realizing that I had forgotten to put on my glasses. “Crap.” I mumbled to myself before straightening my back. Satan let out a laugh and wiped his face with a cloth. “Just wanted to confirm that you’re willing to begin participating in rituals.” Satan said, raising a hand to play with my hair. “Yeah, I confirmed that with Copia.” I replied, feeling my stomach growl. One of Satan’s ears perked up and he let out a huff. “Am I in your way?” He asked with a smile. “Yes.” I grumbled unseriously in response. Satan then stepped aside, but not before ruffling up my hair. “You’re missing something.” Satan said in a sing-songy voice, making my glasses that I had forgotten in my room appear in his hand and gently pressing them onto my face. I huffed at Satan and walked into the cafeteria.
Why was he now harassing me? Our dynamic used to be different, he was there to comfort me almost all of the time, now he was harassing me and giving me a hard time. Of course, I’m not taking what he’s doing seriously, he was probably just messing with me for a laugh. Once I made it inside the cafeteria successfully, I surveyed what was being served and decided to grab myself a tray. The Ministry cafeteria was serving steak today, which made me start to think that this week they seemed to be serving more high-end meals than usual. But I just shrugged and got myself a steak before devouring it like an animal. I was soon back in the food line for a few more steaks. A few minutes later, I had my steaks and I unceremoniously scarfed them down before I had even left the cafeteria. After I had eaten my breakfast, I figured that since I had nothing to do, I could just lounge around Copia all day. So I went back to my room only to see that Copia had left. He probably went to his room or his office, I checked both of those places and found him getting ready in his room. “What do you have planned for today other than taking away my stuff?" I asked, leaning against the door frame. “Well, I was going to have a meeting with the Clergy that Satan is going to observe. So I have to look my best.” Copia responded, putting on his papal paint around his eyes. I glanced into Copia’s room before noticing that he took almost all of the sharp supplies that I needed to be able to make crafts or new outfits.
But before I could say anything, Satan appeared right behind me and scooped me up. “Olive will be accompanying me to the meeting since it was set for the purpose of discussing the transition to the new Papa. He shouldn’t be left in the dark regarding this transition.” Satan declared, bouncing me up and down subtly in his arms. “It’s already happening?” I questioned, my tail swishing about. “What’s going to happen to me???” I asked, panic filling my mind as I grabbed Satan’s arm tightly. “Deep breaths, Olive.” Satan said, rubbing my back in gentle circles. “Nothing bad will happen. You’ll meet the new Papa in due time and I’m sure that most things will be normal. The only big changes that are happening would be a new Papa in the Ministry and a few new ghouls moving in. Of course, this will happen after the American portion of the tour. So you still have a few months to adapt and accept this change.” He explained, his voice filled with certainty that I was glad was present. I let out a sigh before opening my mouth to ask another question, but Satan spoke before I could. “And before you ask, no, you’re not being moved out of the Ministry, or even your room. Almost everything stays the same.” Satan said sternly, his fingers now running through my hair.
“Okay, okay. I get it. You can put me down now.” I grumbled, my tail twitching and flicking with annoyance as Satan set me down. Within the few moments of me standing on my own feet, Copia and Satan started walking to the meeting room. I slowly followed them as they walked into the basement of the Ministry; a place that I’ve never been to since I was resurrected. “Are you sure that I’m allowed down there?” I asked, stopping in the doorway. “Yeah, just come on down!” Copia responded from the bottom of the stairway. I took a deep breath and walked down the stairs, meeting Satan and Copia at the bottom before they started walking again. Once I had entered the basement of the Ministry, it felt like I had stepped into a different world. The walls were a beautiful shade of dark maroon red with gothic designs sprawled out on them, the floor was made of charcoal black cobblestone that has been well maintained, chandeliers and wall-mounted black candles lined the halls with a warm, comforting lighting that you could only get from flames. I slowly trailed behind Copia and Satan before coming to a stop when a painting caught my attention. The painting was one that I did of Copia a few months prior that had disappeared. In the picture, the retired Papa was depicted in his full Papal regalia with all of the details. But the one thing that had bothered me about the piece of art was that it felt like that I didn’t get the lighting right in the way I wanted to. “Is this what you do with my paintings, Copia?” I questioned, my nose twitching subtly. “I wanted to hang them up, I love the way your paintings look.” Copia said, patting my back before making me move on.
Eventually, we got to the meeting room and I sat on a nearby couch with Satan when a mass of cloaked figures walked into the room. They all looked at me for a second before taking their seats. “Frater, are you aware that there is a ghoul inside the room?” One of the cloaked figures asked, their voice coming off as masculine sounding. “Yes, Olive will be attending this meeting as an observer.” Copia replied, patting my head before sitting down in his designated chair. “Shouldn’t he have a muzzle on? According to the rules, all ghouls at Clergy meetings must wear muzzles.” Another cloaked figure asked, they sounded like a man as well. “No, Olive doesn’t need a muzzle. He is fine as is. Let’s just get along with the meeting now.” Copia stated firmly as he pulled out a few pieces of paper from a filing drawer. “First things first, we need to decide how we are going to introduce the new Papa into the Ministry chambers. We don’t have the space to adequately house him with the same luxuries as we had with the previous Papas.” One of the robed people said, handing Copia a paper that mapped out the entire Ministry. I slowly got up and looked over Copia’s shoulder to see that the marked rooms that were available were either in the wing of the Ministry that the ghouls lived in or were in the office areas of the building. If he lived in the office areas, the new Papa wouldn’t have easy access to the bathing quarters or cafeteria. It would make more sense if he lived near the ghouls since it would be easier to gain access to those areas that he would need.
“Hello, Olive.” Copia said, patting my face with his free hand. I let out a soft huff before returning to my spot next to Satan, my tail curling next to my legs as I sat down. “I believe that we should have his room set up in the left wing of the Ministry. All in favor?” Copia stated. Almost all of the robed members of the Clergy raised their hands and it was decided; the new Papa would be living in the left wing of the Ministry near the ghouls. “Now with that out of the way, what are some suggestions to add to the room that we have chosen?” The robed man said, putting down his hood to reveal himself as Mr. Psaltarian. I felt my nose twitch as I instinctively straightened my position. I hadn’t seen Mr. Psaltarian for a while, the last time he and I saw each other had to be at least a few months ago. I see now, he had been so busy with helping Copia manage being head of the Clergy, that I hadn’t seen him out and about. “You don’t have to become rigid with me, lay back down.” Mr. Psaltarian instructed me as Satan pulled me closer to his own chest. “Any ideas?” Mr. Psaltarian asked, raising both of his hands slightly in a gesture for the other clergy members to speak up.
“What about a fresh, new wardrobe for loungewear?” One of the still hooded members suggested, their voice sounding more feminine than the others that I had heard. Mr. Psaltarian nodded his head as another voice spoke up. “There should be a small lounging area inside the room so he wouldn’t be stuck just having a bed to sit on.” They said, adjusting their position on the chair. After a few minutes of people adding suggestions, I felt this bitter, hateful sensation rise in my chest. “Why are we even accommodating him? It’s not like he’s going to be here for a while. The new Papa is probably going to be only temporary.” I grumbled before quickly realizing that I spoke out of turn when I saw the expression on Mr. Psaltarian’s face. He looked furious and I felt a sense of panic take over that I couldn’t mask. I didn’t want to make a scene, so I quickly closed my eyes and waited for him to hit me. But instead of being hit, I felt a warm hand being placed on my shoulder. I hesitantly opened my eyes and saw Mr. Psaltarian’s gaze set on me. His expression was more of disappointment than anger, but it still wasn’t a good feeling. “The new Papa is not going to be a temporary addition to the Ministry. You know that, Olive. You need to quit denying it. He’s here to stay.” Mr. Psaltarian said firmly as Satan pulled me closer to himself. “So what is going to happen to me? I want to hear it from you, Mr. Psaltarian.” I mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
“Nothing. Nothing is changing for you other than you’ll have to report to the new Papa instead of Copia as usual.” Mr. Psaltarian responded. “UGHHHHHHH!!” I growled out, pulling at my face down with my hands. “Don’t give me any lip, this is just what happens when we change Papas.” Mr. Psaltarian huffed, turning away from me before going back to helping Copia lead the rest of the meeting with The Clergy. I slowly settled next to Satan as he pulled a blanket over me and offered a blood bag. “Thanks, I was feeling a bit peckish.” I said as I accepted the blood bag and began to drink out of it like a juice box. The rest of the meeting went along without a hitch, they were all talking about boring stuff like taxes and how the new Papa was going to fit into the Ministry. At least I had been able to get some cuddle time in and had a weighted blanket. I must’ve lost track of time because the next thing that I noticed happening was one of the members of the Clergy poking my face in order to wake me up.
I slowly got up and let out a groan before looking up at Satan. Seems like the meeting is over already. So I picked myself up before Satan helped me to stay on my feet. It only took us a few minutes to get back to my room and when I was walking, I noticed that Copia had not followed. Satan then left me in my room and I sat down at my computer, contemplating what to do. I quickly decided to start writing fanfiction. But before I could get to any of the steamy details that I wanted to, I heard my door open and I quickly switched tabs. Aether was the one who walked into my room. “Gah! Do you not know how to knock??” I asked with a huff, turning my chair around to stare at the large ghoul. “Sorry, I guess I did forget. Am I interrupting something?” Aether questioned, a soft laugh escaping his lips. “Yes, so if you will, don’t come back unless you have food for me.” I responded, crossing my legs. “Wow, you’re moody today. What’s on your nerves?” Aether asked, sitting down on my bed. I took a deep breath as my tail flicked out. “There’s going to be a new Papa.” I mumbled. “Well, yeah, that’s what we’ve been saying for a while now.” Aether said, leaning most of his weight onto his legs. “I was hoping that they were joking or something along those lines. But what am I supposed to do? I just can’t help but think of what happened last time. Like I know that it’s been years since I became a ghoul, but I’m still unpacking everything that happened.” I retorted, running a hand through my hair. “And who is to say that I won’t get kicked out again? I just don’t feel very secure in my position in the Ministry. I know that they replace ghouls all the time.” I added, feeling my nose twitch.
Aether let out a sigh before standing up and putting a hand on my shoulder. “Look, none of that is going to happen, Olive. And I can say that with certainty. If you have any troubles with the new Papa after you meet him, you can always tell me and I’ll be on your side. Okay?” The large ghoul affirmed, patting my shoulder before sitting back down. “You have to remember that you aren’t back at Quiet Path Reform. You’re safe here. And I get that you’re scared, but at this point, you’re actively seeking out similarities between the Ministry and that place…How about I put it to you this way? If you constantly look for the dark, you’ll never see the light.” Aether said firmly. I nodded my head in response while turning my chair to face my computer again. “Is that all you had to talk about?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder slightly at the large quintessence ghoul. “Yeah. Olive, are you trying to kick me out?” Aether retorted, dramatically placing a hand on his chest. “You interrupted my writing time. So can you please leave? I like my privacy.” I explained with a huff. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it.” Aether said, standing back up and leaving the room, making sure to shut the door behind him.
“Finally.” I grumbled, opening my previously closed tab back up. Once I spent a few minutes staring at my screen, I started typing and the words flowed out of my fingers seamlessly. And finally, after hours of writing and revising, I had completed a one shot story that had first started out as smut but turned into a drama. As I stared at the words on my screen, I realized how much of what I had written was angst. This wasn’t a drama, it was just a straight trauma dump that seemed to put more of a damper on my mood. But now, Aether’s words finally clicked into my head. “If I constantly look for the dark, I’ll never see the light…” I whispered to myself, deleting the entire story I had written.
What if I wrote a story that was a slice of life with a more upbeat tone? I don’t need trauma for my character’s development and depth, they only need a challenge that makes them learn and develop beyond their starting point. Then, maybe it’ll get myself out of this weird funk. But it is kind of difficult not to think about all of the ways that I’m being limited right now. I mean, I can’t even go outside to tend to my plants. Wait, what if I went out at night because sunlight is the problem here?
I let out a soft huff at myself.
Why didn’t I think of that sooner? Oh my god, the answer was right in front of me the whole time, but I was too busy pitying myself and feeling like shit to realize! But part of that was because there’s going to be a new Papa…no! I can’t think like that, I’m just going to have to trust Aether that it won’t be like before. So I can ignore the new Papa thing for now, make my slice of life story, and then tend to the garden tomorrow and just make a habit of doing it at night. Sounds like a solid plan.
After I was done with my little internal monologue, I typed out my story for the rest of the night until I passed out at my desk.