Work Text:
shane’s main: @shaneism
shane’s priv: @noshame
ilya’s main: @ilyaoi
ilya’s priv: @nothere
the fake beyoncé acc shane made: @beyonce_iluv_blueivy_
start
shane @shaneism . 30m
one like and i’ll go on omegle.
💬 1 | 🔁 127k | ❤️ 0
@shaneism i’ll do it 🙏
ilya @ilyaoi . 15m
WORLD STOP-
@ilyaoi BEYONCÉ ON OMEGLE?
@svetlanax that’s tokyo toni?
shane @shaneism . 5m
just lied to this boy saying i’m beyoncé and he believed me 😭😭he didn’t even see “her” i just sang for him and he believed me!
@shaneism my acting skills were on point tho! so thankful to ms kelly for forcing me to play the role of a tree in the school play in 4th grade 🙏
@shaneism asked for his ig and told him i’ll dm him from my second account 🤧😭
ilya @ilyaoi . 5m
beyoncé knows me, she checks up on me.
@beyhive please tell me you didn’t give her your credit card info…
@ilyaoi ofc i did?? that’s beyoncé we’re talking about???!!!
[instagram dms between ilya and shaneyoncé]
Beyoncé: Hey it's Beyoncé using my second account here❤️. Can I borrow your credit card to purchase a plane ticket to see you? I heard you are a big fan.
Ilya: you really dmed me-
Ilya: here
Ilya: [image: His credit card number]
Ilya: the number on the back is 127 😍😍
Ilya: happy purchase my love! can’t wait to meet you asap 🥺
shane@shaneism . 1h
HE CANT BE SERIOUS 😭🙏😂
[instagram dms]
Beyoncé: thanks love!
Beyoncé: i just have one wish.
Beyoncé: Can you please not post our conversation publicly? I'm afraid my label or jayz will see it 🙁
Ilya: OH
Ilya: sorry! won’t happen again.
Ilya: beyoncé can you please sing me sth🫶
Ilya: i always wanted to attend your concert
Ilya: do you hate your russian fans? is that it?
ily🔒 @nothere . 2h
MY BEYONCE SIDECHICK ERA
ily🔒 @nothere . 1h
of course it's the label! god i'm such a monster for ever thinking beyoncé would snub russia like that
[instagram dms]
Ilya: so when are you going to sing for me please🥹
Beyoncé: erm
Beyoncé: the twins are sleeping right next to me now
Beyoncé: so i can’t song 💔
Beyoncé: i have to run so errands💔💔
Beyoncé: ttyl <3
Ilya: ttyl queen 👸
S🔒@noshame . 10s
time to spend beyonce fans money
@noshame maybe if he stanned michelle🙂↕️
shane @shaneism . 20s
finally getting these babies❤️🔥
@czennie WHERE DID YOU GET 10K FROM?
@haydenp so you can buy expensive shoes but can’t give me back the $7 i owe you since 2010.
hayden @haydenp . 40m
is shane okay?
@chopped what’s going on?
@haydenp he just passed by my house and brought me dinner and my favorite cupcakes ... and he was smiling as if he didn't just spend all that money on ME???
ilya @ilyaoi . 7m
why is the bank calling me? 😟
ily🔒@nothere . 4m
THE BANK JUST SAID SOMEONE SPENT $1500 USING MY CARD IM FAINT😰
@nothere:
s🔒@noshame . 2m
this is all because of the dinner i bought for hayden ://
shane @shaneism . 1m
when i go to jail, please leave all my possessions to Rose only. do NOT let Hayden get my Michelle and Mariah LPS
@haydenp police finally doing something about the $7 dollar i owe you
@rosies will be selling them all to get the new kelly rowland makeup kit TRUST!!
[instagram dms]
Beyoncé: hello! hahaha...
Beyoncé: I am so sorry okay😓 jayz's birthday is soon and i didn't have enough money to get him a gift so i used your card 😓😓
Beyoncé: then blue ivy and the twins woke up and were so hungry and you know i got no money these days so i used your card again to buy them food to please i'm a MOTHER😥
Ilya: omg queen-
Ilya: i didn't know it was this bad 😳
Ilya: I'm here sleeping every night with a full stomach while you're out there starved? I'm
Ilya: give me your address please i want to send you a care package
s🔒@noshame . 50m
i literally have a canadian address:/ can’t even scam him properly ugh☹️
@noshame maybe i should get one of them fake american addresses 😁
[instagram dms]
Beyoncé : thank you ilya , i don’t want to burden you anymore 💔💔
Ilya: that’s the least i could do queen
Ilya: now mind if we facetime please? just once? consider it payback for spending $20k🙏
s🔒@noshame . 20m
HES ASKING TO FACETIME NOW-
[instagram dms]
Beyoncé: okay but only for a minute
Beyoncé: i have a schedule.
ilya @ilyaoi . 5s
BEYONCE IS RECORDING A NEW ALBUM??????
[This tweet has been deleted]
TMZ | @TMZ . 2s
[BREAKING] Beyoncé to drop a new album soon? says close source.
(via @ilyaoi)
bit.ly/2UnNsCX
ily🔒@nothere . 1m
omfg i fucked up😹
@nothere that was meant for this accot now beyoncé will be mad i spoiled it all i'm shaking and crying
how the facetime call went:
[instagram dms]
Ilya: why couldn’t i see you properly?
Beyoncé: i’m sorry ilya i have an android☹️
Ilya: oh no ... you really hit rock bottom i see
Ilya: you can buy a new iphone with my card if you wish🙏❤️🔥
Beyoncé: oh my god? you're such a life saver i'll send you a signed copy of my newest release soon love you🩷
shane @shaneism . 9m
guess who just preordered the new iphone 17 in all of its versions 🥰🥰
@randomperson 'preordered all versions' kpop stan tease 💀💀
ily🔒@nothere . 24s
erm….
[instagram dms]
Ilya: beyoncé sweetie...what did you buy
Ilya: girl i thought you'll get iphone8 plus or something
Ilya: why did i get a call from the police saying i either pay up my debts or i'll be jailed 👹
Ilya: please reply to me what did you buy i'm shaking and throwing up eye twitching and all
Ilya: HELLO
[Video chat started]
[Missed video chat]
Ilya: PICK UP MY CALLS
[You have blocked this account]
s🔒@noshame . 2m
TMZ @TMZ . 1m
[BREAKING] police arrest a beyoncé fan for huge debts. 'Beyoncé spent that money, it's not me' says the guy as he was arrested.
bit.ly/tmz_report
[Attachment: Image of Ilya's mugshot]
@Beyonce WAIT- he’s adorable…FREE HIM!!
Worldwide Trends:
1. #FREEILYA
100m tweets