Chapter Text
Felix had gotten into a routine in the past few months. Six days a week, he worked a dead-end warehouse gig, ate cheap ramen in the breakroom for lunch, finished his shift, and then went home to a shitty studio apartment to shower, scrounge up something for dinner, have a drink, and pass out to do it all again the next day.
The exception was Sundays, his only day off, and he spent it the same way every week.
By 8:50am, he was sat anxiously in the hospital waiting room, watching the clock, leg bouncing uncontrollably. The staff got to know him after just a couple weeks–he’d heard a few of them make sympathetic comments under their breath to each other when they thought he was out of earshot–but he didn’t care. He could only be there once a week; he had to be there right at 9:00 so he didn’t miss a single minute with her.
As the clock hands dragged over the hour, Felix locked eyes with the girl at the front desk and she knowingly motioned him over.
“Felix Estrada?” she confirmed, and he nodded, showing her his ID without being asked. She already had a sticky visitor’s badge made up for him, his initials written in large print in one corner, the room number in the other. “Visiting hours end at 9 PM. You know the drill.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Felix stuck the badge on the front of his hoodie, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and started down the familiar hallways.
He’d always hated hospitals. Something about the weird, sterile smell always put him on edge. The lights were too bright, the walls too clean–it all just felt wrong. Yet there he was, every week, for twelve hours straight. Finding her room was easy after all the times he’d made that walk, just like every time he opened her door, he felt relief flood his brain all over again when he saw her.
She was there. She was still breathing. He hadn’t lost her yet.
“Hey Chrissy, it’s just me.” Felix dragged a chair over to her bedside, collapsing into it and dropping his backpack on the ground.
He took a quiet minute just to look at her. She was lying on her side this week; Felix was all too familiar with the hospital staff moving her from time to time to help prevent bed sores, but it still made it feel a little more like she was just sleeping, like she’d wake up any minute and yell at him for being a weirdo watching her sleep instead of waking her up himself. Her dark hair was pulled back in the same two braids he’d painstakingly put in for her a few weeks earlier after he’d noticed how matted her hair was getting. He'd spent hours brushing it out and watching Youtube tutorials on how to do a simple braid until he managed to get them right. They were still kind of bad, but they kept her hair safe and pulled back from her pretty face. And she was really pretty. Even with the intubation and all the other medical shit she was hooked up to, she still looked beautiful.
He promised himself silently that if she ever woke up, he was going to tell her that.
When, he corrected himself. When she woke up.
He let out a long, deep sigh. “Hey, I uh, brought you something today.” Felix reached into his backpack and pulled out a little white stuffed rabbit. It was shaped more like a teddy bear, sitting up with jointed arms and legs, but with long, floppy ears and a little pink heart nose.
“Figured you probably miss me when I’m not here to entertain you,” he chuckled. “So now even when I’m not here, you’ll still have this guy.”
He carefully lifted her arm just enough to tuck the rabbit into her bed with her, positioning it so she could hold it close.
“I know the others come visit you too sometimes, but I’m obviously your favorite.”
That probably wasn’t true, but he did visit the most, so that had to count for something. The others tried, but Felix was starting to get the feeling they were giving up on Christine ever waking up. Amanda lived further out in the suburbs and couldn’t make it into the city as often with her busy schedule. Ash and Cassidy used to come with him on Sundays, but with Ash’s bookings starting to take off, most weeks it was just him now. The only one who hadn’t dropped off was Stephen, but he was still dealing with his own issues, so monthly visits were about all he could handle.
Logically Felix could understand why they didn’t come to see Christine as often. It wasn’t like her condition was changing, and it was hard to see her like this, hooked up to all kinds of shit just to make sure she stayed alive. But it made him angry anyway. Pomni was the only reason they made it out of that digital hellscape at all. She fought tooth and nail to find an escape, and when she did, she made sure every last one of them got out before she did. She sent them home, and then… she never woke up.
What happened after they escaped, only Pomni knew. Maybe she got out too, but her brain got scrambled in the process? Maybe her body was just too hurt and needed time to heal before she could wake up? Hell, maybe she was still in there, alone and scared—but that was a possibility Felix didn’t like to consider.
But whatever happened, she saved them all, and the least any of them could do was make sure she wasn’t alone.
Forcing himself not to dwell on it too much in his short time there, Felix pulled out his laptop. “What do you wanna watch today? I’m still just kinda grasping at straws when it comes to your taste in TV, so hopefully I haven’t been boring you to death this whole time.”
He clicked through a couple of the shows he’d been playing for her on his visits, trying to figure out what she might like. He knew she probably wasn’t aware of anything, but just in case she was, he wanted to at least bring something entertaining, and it wasn’t as if there was enough going on in his life that he could just talk to her for twelve hours straight.
“Oh shit, I forgot we started watching Supernatural last week!” He’d picked it on a whim, remembering having watched it when he was younger, but rewatching the first season with Christine reminded him just how good it actually was. Besides, if he had to guess–and he did–he’d say Chrissy probably never watched it, and that was unacceptable.
Felix hit play on the next episode, setting the laptop on Christine’s bed where she’d be able to see it if she happened to open her eyes, even though it put it at an angle he couldn’t see as well. He watched her more than he watched the show anyway. As the episodes passed, his eyes flicked back and forth between Chrissy’s face and the slightly obscured laptop. Every so often, he’d comment on the plot, or laugh at some particularly bad SFX, but mostly, he just watched and stayed there with her. That way, at least she wasn’t alone.
He was fucking exhausted though. It was a long week at work, and he’d snagged some overtime, which was good for the sake of his paycheck, but not so great for feeling well rested. After a while, he let himself lean his head back against the uncomfortable hospital chair, his eyes closing, just for a moment…
“Jax, go, I’ll be right behind you.” He looked at the open exit door, then back at Pomni. She looked panicked, her big, swirling eyes wide. She wanted him to leave, but he didn’t deserve to go before her, not after everything he’d done. He made her life hell, he fucked everyone over, and still, Pomni was putting his needs before her own.
“What? No- just get out of here!” He didn’t understand why she was doing this. Why did she care so much? Why couldn’t she let him do this one thing for her?
“Jax, I don’t have time to argue with you!”
“Then leave!”
Pomni looked back into the circus. It was all beginning to crumble. She took a step toward the door, and for a second, he thought she was actually going to listen to him, and then-
“I’m sorry.”
She pushed him through the door.
He stumbled through, falling right into a police precinct where a sharp looking woman was talking to him like he was stupid.
“Young man, I’m not going to tell you again, those files are sealed. I can’t help you.”
No, no, she had to be able to help him. The others were so easy to find, none of them were too far away, so Pomni had to be close by too. She had to be. And he’d be able to find her a lot quicker if anyone in this godforsaken place would just give him a name.
“I don’t need the files, I don’t need any information, I already have the news reports for the missing person, I just need her name!” he shouted, and a cop standing nearby grabbed him by the arm.
“Sir, you need to calm down or we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”
Felix didn’t think. He just swung on him, fist meeting jaw, and then he was on the ground and everything was dark. The voices of his friends swirled through his mind.
“... We found her, but… you’re not gonna like this…”
“... Potential brain damage. They don’t know though. They said it’s complicated…”
“... Might not wake up, you have to be prepared for that…”
When he pulled himself to his feet, he was standing at her bedside, staring at the thin, pale form of the only person alive who still cared about him. Christine’s eyes fluttered open and met his, beautiful pinwheels of red and blue, and his heart leapt into his throat.
“Pomni- uh, Chrissy, holy shit…” Felix reached out to cradle her face in his hand, but she shied away from his touch. “I… I was scared- I thought we lost you.”
She frowned. “Jax… just go.”
“What?” His stomach dropped. “Jingles, come on, I… you know I didn’t mean all that stuff back then… I just-”
“I said, go, Felix.” Christine’s tone was cold, cruel. It was exactly what he deserved. “Get out of my room! I don’t want you here, just go! I’m serious, Jax-”
The sound of Christine’s hospital room door opening startled Felix awake. “Shit-” He sat up, running a hand through his shaggy hair and looking back at the nurse who’d come in.
“Hey, sorry to wake you,” she chuckled. She looked familiar, definitely one of the regular nurses on this unit. “I’m just in to check up on Christine, I won't be long.”
Felix looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost noon. Damn, he’d been asleep for a hot minute. And that dream was… well, not something he wanted to think about.
“For sure,” he sighed, stretching a little as he stood up. “I should go grab some lunch, can I just… leave this playing for her while I’m gone?” He motioned toward his laptop. She was almost at the finale of season one. It felt cruel to make her wait to keep watching just because he couldn’t get his meals delivered to him via tube.
The nurse smiled. “Yeah, just set it over on that chair so it’s out of the way.”
He did as he was told and headed out to let her work. He really did need to eat something, and besides, it was still kind of uncomfortable to just sit there and watch while hospital staff took care of Christine. It made him feel weirdly helpless.
Pulling out his phone on the way to the hospital cafeteria, he noticed there was a text from Cass.
Sorry Ash and I couldn’t make it this week! They have like a Making Rent In A Day kind of appointment today, but we’re gonna try and come with you next week! Tell Chrissy we love her and miss her!
He tried not to roll his eyes. He knew Ash had weird schedules sometimes, and if Cassidy was serious about their tattoo appointment basically covering rent for the month, that was huge, especially since they were still a relatively new artist in the area. Cass couldn’t drive herself either, so if Ash was busy, Cass was too. Whatever. He kept his reply short and to the point.
np will do
He really didn’t mean to get so annoyed with her. He was trying to be better. There was just something that set him on edge when it came to Christine.
As he walked through the cafeteria, his mind wandered back to the weird, disjointed dream he’d had. Most of it was just his brain replaying events, even if they were jumbled together. He’d spent weeks after getting out of the circus looking for Pomni—they all did—and after a night in jail for assaulting a cop he finally managed to get someone to give him a name to accompany the missing persons report he'd found that could only have been her. Christine Carter.
Amanda was the one who finally managed to find her. She'd been brought to the hospital the same day the rest of them woke up, unconscious and alone. They only had her name because her wallet was on her when she was found, and in the months since that day, her only visitors had been Felix and the others from the circus. No family, no other friends. If she had anyone else in her life before getting stuck in the circus, they didn't seem to know she'd been found.
That was why it was so important they be there for her. Christine didn't deserve to wake up alone. And if when she woke up, she hated him and never wanted to see his face again… well, at least he did what he could to make up for everything he'd done.
Felix sat down at a table with his tray of shitty hospital food. It wasn't ever very good, but it was a nice change from the microwave ramen he had every other day at work. He tried not to think too hard while he ate, but he kept hearing her voice.
I don't want you here, just go…
She wouldn't actually feel that way, right? She was too nice for her own good. She wouldn't kick him out without at least letting him tell her he was sorry first. He wanted to do so much more than that, to actually be given a chance to make up for his shitty behavior and earn the forgiveness he didn't think he deserved, but that was all just selfishness. As long as he got to apologize, he'd accept whatever answer she gave him.
Felix groaned under his breath. He just needed to get back to her room and watch shitty, awesome TV with her and he'd stop thinking so damn hard.
Throwing out his trash and putting his tray back to be washed, he headed back toward Christine's room. Usually, he'd just show his visitors badge and be let in, but this time, the front desk girl stopped him.
“You're here for room 205, right? Christine Carter?”
His heart rate skyrocketed, his face blanching. “Yeah- is she okay? Did something happen?” He'd been gone less than half an hour, what could have possibly happened to her in that time?
The girl shook her head. “She's okay… She woke up a few minutes ago, so you'll have to wait out here while she-”
Whatever else she said, Felix didn't hear it. He half registered the desk girl yelling after him, but he was already racing down the hall toward her room, heart pounding. If Christine was awake, he needed to be there with her. She was gonna be freaked out and alone otherwise, and he couldn't let that happen.
Her door was already open, a nurse just stepping out, meeting Felix's wild gaze and stopping in his tracks.
“Hey, bud, you can't go in there right now. Your friend is just waking up, and that's gonna be pretty hard on her. Why don't I grab your stuff for you, and you can come back tomorrow when she's calmed down?”
Felix shook his head. He couldn't focus on what the man was saying. All he could hear was Chrissy’s muffled crying in her room and he needed to get to her.
“Man, please,” he begged, grabbing the nurse’s arm. “I'm… I'm the closest thing she's got to family right now. I can help her, you have to let me see her.”
The guy hesitated, and for a second, Felix wondered if punching a nurse would get him another night in jail like punching a cop did, but thankfully for his permanent record, it didn't come to that.
He let out a long sigh, glancing back at the door. “Okay. But you've gotta stay out of the way. This all happened a lot more suddenly than anyone expected, and she needs to be calmed down so she can be extubated, got it? If you being in there makes things worse, you have to go so we can work.”
Felix nodded, releasing his grip on the poor guy's arm. “Yeah, I get it.” He just needed to see her. He needed to prove to himself this was real.
When the nurse pushed the door back open, Felix's heart jumped into his throat. Christine was curled in on her side, clutching her stuffed rabbit tight as she sobbed heavily through the intubation. A nurse with curly hair was trying to get her to lay flat on her back, but Chrissy was always so stubborn, curling tighter into herself and flinching away from every touch.
The nurse from outside the room pulled the curly haired one aside, muttering to her under his breath, and Felix rushed to kneel by Christine's bedside, hands gripping the side of her thin mattress.
“Hey, Pom, look at me,” he breathed, and she gasped softly at her name, staring at him with wild, blue eyes filled with tears. “It's just me, Jingles, I got you…”
Fuck, his own eyes were starting to water. He didn't have time to cry, not when he was supposed to be keeping Chrissy calm.
He sniffled a little, wiping his eyes before tears could fall. “It's been a bit, but you're okay now. We're all out of there, and you're safe in the hospital, okay? And I'm gonna stay here the whole time, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. Promise.”
Her breathing was starting to even out a little, even as she continued to cry, and she never stopped looking at him. She had the prettiest eyes Felix had ever seen…
He gently reached out a hand, just offering it to her. He didn't really expect her to take it, but she did, letting her fingertips just barely rest on top of his.
“Just breathe, Pomni” he murmured. “Once you feel up to it, these nice people are gonna get that big tube out of your mouth so you can talk, okay? Not til you're ready though.”
He looked back at the two nurses to make sure that was okay to say, and was surprised to find them already watching him.
“Yep, your friend is gonna be right here with you,” the woman confirmed, stepping over to be in Christine's line of sight again. She tensed slightly, her short nails digging into the pads of Felix's fingers, but she didn't freak out again, which was already a step in the right direction.
“Yeah, and great news, once you're done with that thing down your throat, you'll be able to yell at me all you want!”
That seemed to make her laugh, a wet, rasping sound through her tears and her tubes that made Felix’s stomach twist inside him, and after a few more minutes of getting her to calm down, Christine looked over at the nurse and just nodded.
“Atta girl,” Felix teased gently, and she smiled at him.
It was kind of a scary process, getting the tube out of her throat, but he'd promised to be there the whole time, and he knew it was worse for her than it was for him, so he stayed by her side, letting her tap her fingers lightly across the palm of his hand as she tried to stay calm enough to get it all over with. When he finally heard her hoarse cough as they finished, a wave of relief washed over him. Christine slumped back against the now upright back of the hospital bed, her eyes closed.
“There you go, Chrissy,” Felix murmured as the nurses continued to go about checking her vitals, and she immediately frowned.
“Mmm, no,” she protested, her voice weak and raspy. “Chris, not Chrissy…”
Felix laughed. He'd been calling her Chrissy for months, but he'd call her whatever she wanted if it meant she was awake enough to be mad at him.
“Whatever you say, doll, I'm just glad to hear your voice again. Was starting to think-” He stopped himself. He didn't need to bum her out like that. “Eh, whatever. Just happy to have you back.”
She opened her eyes to look at him again. “What do you mean?”
Ah, shit. Of course, she didn't know they'd all been waiting months for her to wake up.
“You uh… you had a real good brain damage nap, Chris. It's been a while. We can talk more about it when you're feeling a little better.” He glanced up at the others still in the room, hoping she'd catch his meaning. If he started talking to her about a circus and escaping some digital world, they'd either think he was crazy or that he was the one who'd done something really messed up to her, and either way, they'd definitely kick him out.
Either she understood, or she was still too out of it to argue, because Chris just nodded, reaching to hold his hand a little tighter.
After another hour or so of hospital staff coming in and out, running tests and whatever, it was determined that Christine would stay another week or so for observation and physical therapy, and if all went well, she could be discharged after that. And then finally, they were left alone.
Christine let out a long, exhausted sigh, holding her rabbit on her lap and looking over at Felix with hazy eyes like she was studying him. She drank in his image, and for a second, he wished he'd rebleached his roots more recently, or at least had gotten a little more sleep lately, so he wouldn't look so disheveled, but she didn't seem to mind, a soft, curious smile creeping across her lips.
“Iron?” she murmured, and Felix swore he must not have heard her right.
“What?”
“Your sticker, it has the… chemical symbol for iron on it.” She pointed weakly at his visitor's badge, and Felix peeled it off to look at it, wracking his brain to try and find information he hadn't thought about since 9th grade chemistry class.
“Wait- this?” He squinted at the FE written in the top corner. “Chis, those are my initials!”
He laughed, slapping the sticker back on as she processed that information.
“Oh… I guess that makes more sense. I didn't think…” She shook her head a little, like she was physically trying to clear it of the brain fog she was almost certainly experiencing. “Sorry, what's your name?”
“Felix, uh Estrada.” He smiled. “And you're Christine Carter, huh? Good name. Suits you…”
Chris nodded. “I guess if you already know that… you've been back longer than I have?”
For a moment, Felix's instinct was to lie to her, to protect her from the truth, but at the end of the day, she deserved to know.
“Uh, yeah, a while. You kinda saved all our asses and then… we were worried you didn't make it out. Don't freak out if you can't remember a lot right now, it took us a while to adjust back too, but we've had a lot more time.”
Christine let out a long breath. “Shit…” Then, her eyes widened. “Oh fuck yes, I can swear again!” She laughed again, and it was the best sound Felix had ever heard.
“Sorry,” she continued. “I just… things are fuzzy and I feel like I have so many questions.”
Her breath started to catch up in her throat again, and Felix just scooted his chair a little closer, taking her hand and squeezing it tight.
“Hey, look at me, Chris.” Her eyes met his, and for a moment, he could see the echoes of her old avatar in her nervous expression. She looked just like she did that first day he met her, but this time, he was going to get it right.
“Ask me all the questions you want. I'll answer all of them. You know how much I love to hear myself talk,” he teased, and her expression softened just a little. “Want me to start with the basics for you?”
She nodded, squeezing his hand back, and it felt a whole lot more like she had his heart clutched between her fingers, soft and vulnerable. But he didn't rip it away. He let her hold on.
“Okay so. We all woke up about six months ago. That was back in August—it’s January now—and somewhere around October is when Mandy finally figured out where you ended up. Oh, that's Rags, by the way, sorry, you don't know anyone's names yet, do you…”
Christine shook her head. “But… you do? You found them all and they're okay?”
Felix laughed a little. “They found me, more like, but yeah, they're all okay. They've all been coming to visit you too. They're gonna be so happy to hear you're awake.”
“Wait, okay, I want to know everyone's names!” Chris was beaming, sitting up a little more and playing with the ears of her stuffed rabbit with her free hand. It was adorable, seeing her so happy. Even with the IV and nasal cannula still all hooked up to her, she looked healthier than she had in months. God, it was a relief.
“Alright, Ragatha's Amanda, you'll recognize her when you see her because she's been doing her braids red since we got back just so you'd know who she was, even though I told her you're smarter than that,” he chuckled, and so did Chris.
“Zoobs is Ash, they've got blue hair, big surprise, and Gangle's Cassidy—they're together now, by the way, like, it's about time.”
“Wait- really?” Christine cut him off. “That's so sweet!”
“Yeah, it's sickening.” Felix was happy for them, but he wasn't about to admit it. “Then Kinger is Stephen. Old man's still kinda… not all there, but he's doing good anyway.”
He grinned. “And last but not least, Jax is Felix and he's devastatingly handsome, wildly successful, rich, he's got very sexy tattoos-” The longer he went on, the more Christine laughed, so he kept it up. “He's been visiting you all the time, bringing you flowers and shit and playing awesome TV for you so you don't get bored, honestly, he's been a bit much, you might wanna tell him to fuck off,” he laughed.
But Chris wasn't laughing anymore. She was looking down at the rabbit in her arms, and then at Felix with big, sweet eyes, and a soft, fond smile.
“You did all that?” She looked like she was going to cry again and that was the last thing he wanted.
He just shrugged. “Eh, was the least I could do. You got us all out of there. You made me leave, so like… I figured I owed you.”
It was obviously more than that. Out of anyone in the circus, Pomni was the only one left who made him feel like he was worth saving. He owed her everything. And he didn't ever want to see anything happen to her. But it wasn't like he could say that to her. Besides, what he did say seemed to be plenty to make her get emotional.
“Felix,” she murmured, and he liked the way his name sounded in her voice. “Thank you. For being here.”
It was too sweet, too genuine, too much real kindness that he didn't know what to do with. He needed to switch gears, something, anything to stop the feeling in his chest that he wasn't equipped to handle.
“Hey, we should call the others!” he suggested quickly, pulling his hand away from hers to get his phone out of his pocket. He had another couple texts from Cass he hadn't seen yet since he'd been busy with Chris.
How's she doing? Still the same?
Ash’s client might end up tapping out early, he's kind of a wimp haha
So if that happens, maybe we could come bring you dinner and see Christine?
“Looks like Zoobs and Ribbons might be free to come see you tonight if you want!” He looked up at Christine. She was fidgeting with her rabbit, rubbing the ears between her fingers, but she nodded anyway.
“I would love to see them.”
Felix grinned, moving to sit on the edge of her hospital bed. “Let's give em a call then.”
He didn't bother texting. He knew Cass would answer if he cold facetimed her. It would probably freak her out a little, but that was an unintended, if a little bit funny, side effect. And just for fun, he angled his phone so only he could be seen at first, Christine just off camera, waiting.
Cass picked up basically right away, a worried look in her eyes behind her pink, rectangular glasses.
“Hey… is everything okay?” she asked softly. Felix could see in the background that she was sitting behind the front desk at the studio Ash worked at. Perfect.
“Yeah, you think Ash could take a break for a few?” he asked. “Someone wants to say hi…”
Cassidy’s jaw dropped and her big, brown eyes filled with tears as Felix panned the phone over to Christine, sitting up beside him, waving a little.
“Hey, Gangle.”
“Oh my god! Ash!” Cass dropped her phone in her lap immediately, wheeling into the back. Felix could only laugh, smiling over his shoulder at Chris as they listened to Cass try and apologize to Ash’s client for the family emergency.
It kind of felt like having a family. Like calling his weirdo sibling and loser sister-in-law to keep them updated on his… whatever Christine was. Definitely not his sister. Gross. His… friend. Or whatever.
It didn't matter, because moments later, Ash was standing behind Cassidy, their hand on the back of her wheelchair, staring at the phone screen.
“Holy shit… it's really good to see you awake…” Ash laughed, practically in disbelief. “How long have you been up?”
Christine glanced at the clock up on the wall. “A couple hours? Not that long.”
“Don't even worry,” Felix cut in. “I caught her up on everything!”
Ash rolled their eyes. “Yeah, somehow I doubt that.”
“Christine?” Cassidy took back over the conversation to keep him and Ash from arguing. She was pretty good at that nowadays. “Would it be okay if we came to see you? Ash- uh, Zooble- we'll be done by 7:30 at the latest. I'd love if we could come by, but I don't want to overwhelm you…”
“I'd love that too,” Christine assured her. “And Felix really did fill me in, so I mostly know all your names now.” She laughed nervously. “Just, sorry if I forget. I'm still pretty… foggy.”
Cass shook her head. “We all went through that, don't worry. It'll go away eventually.”
They talked a while longer, and after a bit, Felix handed the phone over to Christine entirely, letting her catch up with her friends while he hung back a bit. Eventually, Ash had to finish their tattoo, and they all said their goodbyes until later.
When she hung up the call, Christine let out a long, deep sigh, looking exhausted. Her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned back against Felix’s chest. Instantly, he swore he wouldn't move an inch until she did.
“I really want to talk to Ragatha and Kinger, I'm just… tired,” she laughed softly.
Felix felt like he was walking on eggshells, like if he made one slip up, he'd ruin everything. Logically, Christine trusted him, or she would have asked him to go home a long time ago, right? But even still, he was terrified of losing that trust that he had no idea what he'd done to earn.
“Want me to just text them? Or I can call instead of facetime, and you can say hi still,” he offered.
“No, I want to see them,” Christine insisted. “Just… can you do most of the talking?”
The brain fog they'd all dealt with after getting out of the circus was obviously affecting her. That was probably why she was leaning on him too, Felix guessed. But if she wanted to see the others, he'd do anything to help.
They called Amanda first, and for Christine’s sake, Felix didn't put her through the same bait and switch as he did Cass. Besides, it would have been hard to hide Chris when she was basically curled up on his chest.
Mandy started sobbing as soon as she picked up the phone, babbling to Chris about how worried she'd been about her and promising to come visit her the next day. It was sweet, honestly, and Felix didn't even have to do much talking thanks to Mandy taking notice of how tired Chris seemed and filling the silence for them both.
Getting Stephen on the phone was a little harder, and by the time they managed it, Chris was already half asleep, her fists balled up in the fabric of Felix's hoodie. It was alright though, she was sleepy, and the old man was having a bit of a rough day, so circus names were easier for both of them for the moment. They both recognized each other though. Chris let out the softest little, “Kinger!” as soon as he picked up the call, and Felix thought his heart was gonna straight up melt.
The call with Stephen was shorter, but neither one of them could do much more, and by the end, it was Felix saying their goodbyes for them as Chris was basically passed out on him. He could feel her drooling on his hoodie, but he didn't care. As soon as he was off the phone, he just wrapped a gentle arm around her shoulders and let her sleep.
It was weird, kind of nice, but still weird, being trusted like this. Would Chris still want him there with her if she were thinking straight? Was she going to wake up from her nap and be pissed that she fell asleep on him in the first place? He considered for a moment trying to move so she wouldn't have to wake up on him, but that idea was quickly abandoned when he realized there was no way for him to shift away from her without waking her up. She needed the rest, so even if it earned him a lecture when she woke up, Felix stayed.
A few hours later, a text from Cass popped up on his phone.
Hey! We're done a little early, so Ash and I are on our way! We're bringing dinner from Maxwell Street, do you know what Chrissy wants?
Felix glanced down at the woman asleep on him before responding.
she's asleep and i don’t wanna wake her but she hasn't eaten real food yet so something easy probly
get her cheese fries everyone likes cheese fries
also it's just chris not chrissy apparently
He sighed a little, laying his head back against the hospital bed. His phone was dying and he was getting more than a little restless, but he refused to move and wake up Chris. It wasn't far from Ash’s work to the hospital anyway.
He could just wait, and… let his mind wander or whatever. Not great for his ADHD, but he could survive 30 minutes of boredom.
Somewhat idly, Felix started playing with the end of one of Christine's braids, brushing it back and forth over his thumb. Her hair was really soft. His was all fried from bleach, but hers was nice. Probably needed to be washed, but still nice.
He wondered how she normally wore it. The braids were practical, but they seemed a lot more Cassidy’s style than Christine's. When he first came to the hospital to see her, he'd been surprised by how long it was. He'd only ever known her with her hair short in the circus, and obviously there was a lot about all of them that looked different from the way they did in that digital nightmare, but for some reason, he always imagined her with that same, cute little haircut.
She was still short though, he could tell even without standing next to her. She was a tiny little thing really. Felix felt like he could break her if he held too tight, but maybe that was just because the hospital gown and nasal cannula made her seem so fragile.
Without really thinking about it, he leaned down and pressed his lips to the crown of Chris’s head for a long moment. He laughed a little to himself. She was gonna be really happy to get to wash her hair. But the funny thing was, he couldn't care less.