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The common room fire had burned down to embers when Lily Evans finally closed her Transfiguration textbook. She stretched her arms above her head, feeling her spine crack after three hours hunched over essays. Most of the seventh years had already gone to bed, leaving only a handful of students scattered across the worn furniture.
"Still at it, Evans?"
She didn't need to look up to know who'd spoken. James Potter's voice had become as familiar to her as her own heartbeat over the past seven years, though she'd only recently admitted that to herself.
"Some of us actually study for N.E.W.T.s instead of relying on natural talent and dumb luck," she said, but there was no bite to it. There hadn't been for months now, not since she'd finally agreed to go out with him at the start of term.
James dropped onto the sofa beside her, close enough that his thigh pressed against hers. He smelled of the cold October air and something spicy she couldn't quite place. "I'll have you know I spent two full hours on my Potions work today."
"Two hours? Should I alert the Daily Prophet?"
His laugh rumbled through his chest. "Careful, or I'll start thinking you actually want me to fail so I can't become an Auror."
Lily's chest tightened at the reminder. They'd both received their preliminary acceptance letters from the Auror program last week, contingent on their N.E.W.T. results. The thought of fighting Death Eaters together, of watching James walk into danger, made her stomach churn. But that was a worry for future Lily.
"Don't be stupid," she said softly, leaning into his warmth. "I want you right there beside me."
James pressed a kiss to her temple, and she felt him smile against her skin. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before James spoke again. "Oh, meant to tell you. Benjy asked me about our Charms study group tomorrow. Said he might join."
Lily stiffened slightly. Benjy Fenwick was in their year, a Ravenclaw with kind eyes and an easy manner. He'd been partnering with her in Ancient Runes all term, and she supposed they'd become something like friends. He had a quick wit that made the more tedious translations bearable.
"That's fine," she said, keeping her voice neutral. "The more the merrier."
She felt rather than saw James's jaw tighten. "Right. The merrier."
Lily pulled back to look at him properly. His hazel eyes were fixed on the fire, his expression carefully blank in that way that meant he was feeling something intensely. She knew that look. She'd seen it the time Sirius had crashed his uncle's motorcycle, when Remus came back from full moons looking half dead, when his parents sent letters about suspicious activity near their home in Godric's Hollow.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"James."
He ran a hand through his perpetually messy hair, making it stick up even more. "It's stupid."
"Tell me anyway."
For a moment, she thought he wouldn't. Then he sighed, long and frustrated. "You spend a lot of time with him. Benjy."
Understanding dawned slowly, then all at once. Lily felt something warm unfurl in her chest, though she tried to suppress it. She shouldn't be pleased that James Potter, who could probably have his pick of witches, was jealous over her. But she was only human, after all.
"We're partners in Ancient Runes," she said reasonably. "We have to spend time together."
"I know that." James's voice was tight. "I said it was stupid."
"You're being ridiculous."
"Probably."
He still wouldn't look at her. Lily reached out and turned his face toward her, her fingers gentle on his jaw. Even after months together, touching him still sent sparks through her fingertips. She'd spent so many years pushing him away that being allowed to pull him close felt like magic that had nothing to do with wands or spells.
"You know there's no one else, right?" she said quietly. "Just you. Only you."
Some of the tension left his shoulders. "I know. Rationally, I know that. But then I see him making you laugh in the library, or walking with you to class, and this thing happens in my chest like someone's cast a Constricting Charm."
"That's called feelings, Potter. Welcome to what the rest of us experience."
That earned her a reluctant smile. "Is this what you felt like for six years watching me make a fool of myself?"
"I was never jealous," Lily lied, and James's smile grew wider because they both knew it was a lie. She had been jealous, desperately so, every time she'd seen him laugh with another girl or let some pretty Hufflepuff fix his collar after Quidditch practice. She'd told herself it was irritation at his arrogance, but her heart had known better.
"Never?" James challenged, shifting closer. "Not even a little bit?"
"You're fishing for compliments."
"Is it working?"
Instead of answering, Lily kissed him. She'd meant it to be brief, just enough to wipe that smug look off his face, but James made a soft sound against her mouth and suddenly brief was impossible. His hand came up to cup the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair, and she forgot about Transfiguration essays and N.E.W.T.s and everything that wasn't the taste of him, the warmth of him, the way he held her like she was something precious.
When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, James rested his forehead against hers.
"You're the only one," Lily whispered. "In case that wasn't clear."
"Pretty clear," James managed, his voice rough. "But maybe you should tell me again. Just to be sure."
She laughed and pushed him away gently. "I need to sleep. And you need to finish your Potions work if two hours is all you managed."
"Cruel woman."
But he stood when she did, walking her to the base of the girls' staircase like he did every night. It had become their ritual, these few stolen moments before bed, and Lily treasured them more than she'd ever admit out loud.
"Goodnight, James."
"Goodnight, Lily."
She made it up three steps before turning back. James was still standing there, watching her go with that soft expression that made her heart stutter.
"Hey, Potter?"
"Yeah?"
"Stop worrying about Benjy Fenwick. He's got nothing on you."
The smile that broke across James's face was bright enough to light the entire castle.
***
The next day brought howling winds and sideways rain, the kind of October storm that made the castle feel even more ancient than usual. Lily's hair frizzed the moment she stepped out of her dormitory, and no amount of Smoothing Charm could tame it. She'd given up by breakfast.
"Merlin, I love Scotland," Marlene groaned, trying to squeeze water out of her robes. They'd been caught in a downpour between the Great Hall and Charms. "Nothing says education like pneumonia."
Lily laughed and cast a quick Drying Charm over both of them. The classroom was already filling up, students shaking off rain and complaining about the weather. She spotted James near the back with Sirius and Remus, his hair even more chaotic than usual. He caught her eye and grinned, and she felt that now-familiar flip in her stomach.
"Miss Evans, Mr. Fenwick, you'll be working together today," Professor Flitwick announced, consulting his seating chart. "We're practicing Protean Charms, so I want strong partnerships."
Lily glanced at James instinctively. His expression had gone carefully neutral again, that same blank look from last night. She wanted to roll her eyes at his dramatics but found herself more endeared than exasperated.
Benjy appeared at her elbow with an easy smile. "Hullo, Lily. Ready to make some coins talk to each other?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," she said, pulling out her wand. "Fair warning, I'm rubbish at Protean Charms."
"Can't be worse than me. Last week I tried to connect two quills and ended up setting my eyebrows on fire."
Lily laughed, and she swore she could feel James's gaze on the back of her neck. When she glanced over, he was determinedly focused on his own work with Sirius, his jaw tight.
"Right then," Benjy said, laying out a handful of Galleons on the desk between them. "The key is to keep your wand movement steady and really focus on the connection you're trying to create."
They worked in relative silence for a while, broken only by frustrated sighs and the occasional spark of magic gone wrong. Benjy was patient and methodical, talking her through each step. He had a good teaching manner, she thought. He'd probably make an excellent professor someday.
"There," Benjy said encouragingly as one of Lily's coins finally glowed blue when he touched its partner. "You've nearly got it. Just needs a bit more intent."
He leaned closer to observe her wand movement, his shoulder brushing hers. It was a casual touch, meaningless, but Lily was hyperaware of James somewhere behind her.
"Lily, can I borrow your notes from last week?" James's voice came from directly behind her, and she jumped.
She turned to find him standing there, his expression pleasant but his eyes hard. "You were in class last week. You have your own notes."
"Mine are incomplete."
"Since when do you take incomplete notes?"
"Since Sirius spent the whole period trying to transfigure my ear into a teacup."
Despite herself, Lily smiled. "That sounds like Sirius." She dug through her bag and handed over her notebook. "Just don't spill anything on it."
James's fingers brushed hers as he took the notebook, lingering just a moment too long. "Thanks, Evans."
He didn't move away immediately, standing close enough that Lily had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. There was something intense in his gaze, something possessive that made her breath catch. She'd never been the type to find jealousy attractive, but on James, it did something to her.
"You're welcome, Potter," she said softly.
For a moment, they just looked at each other. Then Professor Flitwick called out a question, and the spell broke.
James returned to his seat, and Lily turned back to her work with Benjy, but her concentration was shot. She kept thinking about the way James had looked at her, like he was barely holding something back. It was absurd and unfair and she should probably be annoyed, but instead, she felt flushed and distracted.
"You alright?" Benjy asked, studying her with concern. "You look a bit feverish."
"Fine," Lily said quickly. "Just warm."
By the time class ended, she'd managed to successfully link two coins, though it had taken twice as long as it should have. Benjy gathered his things with a cheerful goodbye, mentioning something about the library later for their study group.
Lily waited for James to finish talking to Professor Flitwick, her bag slung over one shoulder. When he finally joined her in the corridor, the other students had already scattered toward their next classes.
"Walk me to Transfiguration?" she asked.
"Always."
They fell into step together, their shoulders brushing with each stride. The storm had passed, leaving everything washed clean and smelling of rain. Through the windows, Lily could see the lake's surface rippling in the wind.
"You're being weird," she said after a minute of silence.
"I'm always weird."
"Weirder than usual."
James sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. Lily had noticed he did that when he was agitated. "I'm trying not to be that bloke, you know? The one who gets all territorial and ridiculous."
"You're already ridiculous. That's part of your charm."
"Lily."
She stopped walking and pulled him into an alcove, away from the main flow of students. Standing on her toes, she kissed him again, slower this time, trying to pour everything she couldn't quite say into the press of her lips against his. When she pulled back, James looked dazed.
"What was that for?"
"Because you're an idiot," she said fondly. "And because I'm mad about you. And because Benjy Fenwick is a nice bloke and a good study partner, but he's not you, James. He's never going to be you."
James's expression softened. "I know. I do know that. It's just, for six years I wanted you and couldn't have you, and now that you're finally mine, the thought of anyone else even thinking about you makes me mental."
"I'm not yours," Lily corrected gently. "I'm my own. But I'm choosing you. Every day, I'm choosing you."
"That's even better," James admitted, and then he was kissing her again, his hands framing her face like she was something sacred. Lily melted into him, forgetting about Transfiguration and study groups and everything else.
Someone cleared their throat loudly. They sprang apart to find Professor McGonagall looking at them with barely suppressed amusement.
"I believe you both have classes to attend," she said crisply. "And while I appreciate young love as much as the next person, the corridors are not for displays of affection."
"Sorry, Professor," Lily mumbled, her face burning.
James just grinned, utterly unrepentant. "Won't happen again, Professor McGonagall."
"See that it doesn't, Mr. Potter." But there was a twinkle in her eye as she walked away.
Lily buried her face in James's chest, torn between mortification and laughter. "I can't believe that just happened."
"Worth it," James said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Totally worth it."
They made it to Transfiguration only just in time, sliding into their seats as Professor McGonagall began her lecture on Conjuration. James passed her a note halfway through class.
*Sorry for being mental about Benjy. You're right, I'm being ridiculous.*
Lily wrote back quickly. *You're forgiven. But you're buying me Butterbeer in Hogsmeade next weekend.*
*Done. And chocolate frogs?*
*Obviously.*
When the study group convened that evening in the library, James made a visible effort to be friendly to Benjy. It was almost comical, the way he forced himself to nod and smile and make small talk about Ancient Runes. Lily caught his eye once and had to press her lips together to keep from laughing.
"Alright there, James?" Sirius asked innocently. "You look like you're being tortured."
"I'm fine," James said through gritted teeth.
Remus, who missed nothing, gave Lily a knowing look. She pretended to be fascinated by her Charms textbook.
The evening progressed smoothly after that. Benjy proved to be as good at Charms theory as he was at Ancient Runes, and the group made solid progress on their upcoming exams. By the time Madam Pince started giving them pointed looks, Lily's brain felt pleasantly full of information.
"Same time next week?" Benjy suggested as they packed up.
"Sounds good," Lily agreed.
James slung an arm around her shoulders as they left the library, pulling her close. It was possessive and obvious and completely unlike his usual casual confidence. Lily didn't mind at all.
"Better?" she murmured once they were alone in the corridor.
"Getting there," James admitted. "He's actually not that bad. Good at Charms, decent bloke. I can see why you like working with him."
"James Potter, being reasonable? Alert the Ministry."
He laughed and pulled her closer, dropping a kiss on her temple. "Only for you, Evans."
Later, much later, when they were back in the common room with the fire burning low and everyone else in bed, Lily curled into James's side on the sofa. His fingers traced idle patterns on her arm, and she felt completely, perfectly content.
"Can I ask you something?" James said quietly.
"Always."
"When did you know? That you wanted this. Us."
Lily considered the question carefully. "I think part of me always knew, even back when I was hexing you in corridors. But I really knew last year, when you saved that first year from the Dementors during that Hogsmeade visit. You didn't hesitate, didn't think about the danger. You just acted. And I realized that's who you are. Not the show-off or the prankster, though you're those things too. But underneath it all, you're good. Truly, deeply good. And I was tired of pretending I didn't see it."
James was quiet for so long that Lily pulled back to look at him. His eyes were suspiciously bright.
"James?"
"I'm fine," he said roughly. "You just, you're everything, you know that? Everything I didn't know I was looking for."
Lily's heart felt too big for her chest. "You're not allowed to make me cry at midnight, Potter. I have Herbology first thing tomorrow."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
But his smile was soft and wondering, and when he kissed her this time, it tasted like promises neither of them could voice yet but both understood. They were seventeen and the world beyond Hogwarts was dark and growing darker, but here, now, in the firelight with rain pattering against the windows, they had this.
And this, Lily thought as James held her close, was enough. It was everything.