Chapter Text
Water trickled down his forehead while he stared into the basin. He watched as droplets littered his reflection on the water's surface, ripples muddying what stared back at him.
A familiarly unfamiliar face.
Pale blue eyes in place of what should be green. Soaked, short dirty blond hair—currently stuck against his face and cheeks—that should've been a bright orange. Now it was too close in colour to his skin, which was a sandy tan. It was tempting to get it dyed back to what he was used to.
His eyelids were shaded a light purple, the biggest sign that he wasn’t getting sleep. It was probably obvious no matter what he tried.
He sighed, dipping his hands into the basin and letting the water pool into his palms. He washed his face again, holding back a hiss at the cold sting of it. He rubbed his eyes before dipping his hands back in again. He tried not to cry as he rinsed his face.
He averted his gaze from the group, opting to glance out the window instead.
The idea—no, the fact that he didn’t want to face—that he might not have any way home. That he was either going to win, or die. And, no matter what he did, the fate of this dimension would be sealed.
He needed to keep them safe. All of them. The people in this dimension, and the ones back home. He needed to think. To plan.
A small, gentle hand landed on his forearm. He hadn’t realised he’d crossed his arms while in thought. He held back a flinch as her fingers slid towards his hand, her touch pulling him from his thoughts.
He was scared to look at her. Scared as he saw her in the corner of his eye, her expression wrought with concern.
Her lips parted, a single word escaping her beautiful mouth.
“Laurance?”
He swept his hair over his head, turning away from his reflection in the water. He needed to grab a rag and wipe off his face.
He stepped back from the basin and moved towards the nearest window. He grabbed a cloth on his way past, sweeping it over his face and hair. As he scrubbed the water out of his bangs, he noticed movement outside.
He glanced out towards Phoenix Drop. His home.
Or, what was starting to feel like his home.
The sun was low, beneath the treelines. Its golden light could only illuminate so much by then. The distant sky was bathed in hues of what appeared to be purples, yellows, and oranges. It would only be a matter of time before nightfall.
He pulled his eyes away from the sky, glancing around at the surrounding village. From his vantage, he couldn’t see any further movement. He lowered his head and angled it against his window. Out of curiosity, he raised an eyebrow as he listened.
Someone was shuffling outside. They weren’t in his peripheral, but he could sense they were only a few paces away. He was about to reach for the latch on his window right as the person knocked on his front door. He let out a sigh, the enticing opportunity now taken from him.
He briskly manoeuvred out of his washroom and made his way to the front of his home. In a few simple strides, he was at the entrance to his humble-enough abode.
In a swift motion, he swung the door open. Conveniently right as the lady outside was about to knock again.
Warmth filled her entire expression as her eyes swept over him, and she grinned excitedly enough to make his knees buckle. Her raven black hair was swept out of her eyes today, allowing him to see her entire face in its purest beauty. The rest was tied back in what he assumed was a braid.
She wore a simple purple shirt and grey trousers, alongside a warm, brown jacket loosely strewn across her upper body. She, lamely, left her shoulders exposed.
“Laurance!” Her voice sang, drawing his attention away from her appearance. “Good to see you!”
He had to grab onto the doorframe for support, steeling his expression with a small smile as he leaned as smoothly as he could.
“Lord Aphmau,” he couldn’t help but say longingly. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Her grin softened, and she glanced away from him with a nervous expression. Laurance tilted his head at her, allowing himself to grin while she wasn’t looking.
“Hmm, I just wanted to see you!” Aphmau exclaimed with a hand on her hip. “And I was wondering if you wanted to… hang out.” She looked back up at him, her other hand raised to her chin as she tapped it with her finger.
He wouldn’t dare fool himself with the thought that she was red in the cheeks as she spoke.
“Excellent timing my lady, I just finished washing up.” He chuckled, flicking some hair out of his eyes with his free hand.
Aphmau began to stutter, but Laurance quickly and smoothly cut her off. “I’ll put some tea on. Please, come in,” he gestured inside gently. He was glad her gaze followed his hand as he stared at her softly.
“That sounds wonderful!” She exclaimed, hurriedly trotting inside. She tilted her face away from Laurance as she walked past him.
His hand accidentally brushed against her shoulder as he drew his arm back, and he had to stifle a flinch. He quickly turned and shut the door behind her. Laurance breathed out a sigh, his warm fingers lingering on the door.
He cooled his expression once more as he turned to face his Lord.
“You remember where the sitting room is, right?” Laurance teased, leaning down to see her face.
“Pfft, of course I do! I helped design your house!” Aphmau snorted at him. She was planted on the wooden floor, pulling off one of her boots. “It’s just down the hall. Right?” She peeked up at him as she tugged the other boot off.
“You’re sure?” He said with a sly expression.
Aphmau leapt to her full height—which was rather short for a lady—and frowned up at Laurance. Their faces were too close. He could hear her breath, see his face reflected in her eyes. Some of her hair had escaped onto her forehead.
“Yes,” she hesitated. “I am.”
Laurance leaned back, praying fervently to Irene that his face wasn’t bathed in red.
“Good,” he squeaked out. “Good. Good.” He cleared his throat as he turned away from her.
“I’ll go, uh, put that tea on. Yeah,” he said awkwardly fast. He briskly trotted out of the hall before Aphmau could protest, letting out a shaky sigh as he rounded the corner.
I need to stop doing that, he thought bitterly as he stepped around the kitchen counter. I can’t… it’s not right. She… his thoughts trailed off as he grabbed the kettle out of the cabinet. He grasped the lid in his spare hand with an anxious expression on his face.
Laurance moved towards the kitchen basin, placing the kettle beside a bucket of water and leaving the lid beside it. He took a ladle in hand and began pouring water into the teapot. She’s my Lady. My Lord. I need to stop letting my affections make our… situation awkward. I need to… he stared down at his hand as he dropped the ladle into the bucket.
“I SAID GET AWAY FROM HER!” Laurance screamed, slashing at the space where the Alter had been.
Laurance didn’t dare risk looking back to see her face. He didn’t risk looking back to see anyone.
The Alter had warped to the top of the stairs on the hill, leading Laurance back into the town. He didn’t care if it was a trap. So long as she was going to be safe. So long as she was far away from it.
And she would be safe. She had to be.
He shook his head, grabbing the lid and slamming it down on the kettle. He took a deep breath as he lifted the pot and turned to face the rest of his kitchen.
————————————————
Laurance, after successfully preparing two cups of tea and a tray with bread and biscuits, walked confidently into the sitting room.
Aphmau perked up as he arrived, turning to face him with a grin. She set her book and quill off to the side of the table, making room for Laurance to place down their evening snack.
While placing the tray onto the table, he settled down onto the couch next to her, keeping a calm posture. He made sure there was a breadth of space between the two of them. He always did. Yet he couldn’t help but steal a long glance at her as she picked up her tea.
While she was taking a sip, a thought occurred to him.
“You’ve had dinner, right?” Laurance wondered aloud, feeling a twinge of anxiety.
Aphmau glanced at him shyly. She lowered her teacup from her lips, supporting it with both hands.
“Well.” She started, unfortunately averting her gaze. “No. No not really.” She admitted with a chuckle.
“Not really?” Laurance snickered, smoothly picking up his own cup. “Well, I hope you know this certainly isn’t dinner. What have you eaten?”
“Ah. I… I don’t remember,” Aphmau grimaced. “Today’s been so busy. Considering everything that’s been going on, I just… there hasn’t been time.” She added while gently lowering her cup onto the tray.
He watched her with a frown as she picked up a small slice of bread and began chewing on it. Aphmau met his eyes after swallowing a bite, an equally furrowed expression on her face.
“Everything’s so different, Laurance. There’s too much we’ve missed. So much we have to do. It’s… it’s a lot,” she said with a sigh. “Making up for lost time has been more important than, well, this.” She gestured with the bread in hand towards the contents on the table, including her journal.
“Yeah.” Laurance nodded after a moment. “It’s alright, I understand.” He affirmed before taking another sip of his tea.
He felt a pang of guilt as he thought of her in that moment. He swallowed the thought down with his drink, angling his head to look at the tea tray. It made him feel so guilty.
He too should be focused on his home dimension. On Phoenix Drop. On grounding himself in a future he wasn’t ready for. On learning more about the decade of history he’d missed. On perhaps successfully courting his Aphmau.
But, despite his loyalties, he was distracted. Instead of being too busy to look after himself like his Lord was, he was too busy doing things he shouldn’t. Like the fool he was.
“Mmm! Wow, these are really good!” Aphmau exclaimed.
Laurance had to grab the end of the couch to prevent himself from leaping off it. How dare he get distracted with… that stuff, especially in front of his Lord.
He tilted his head to face her, unable to mask his surprise. She was grinning from ear to ear while eagerly chewing on one of the biscuits. He felt his expression soften at that. Aphmau turned to face him, unable to stop herself from taking another bite before she spoke.
“Did you make these?” She said before swallowing. There was significantly less space between the two of them, as Aphmau had leaned towards him in her excitement.
“I certainly did. I’m really glad you like them my Lady,” Laurance said earnestly. “I made those with all the love in my big, beating heart.” He added with a smirk, propping an arm up on the backrest of the couch and resting his chin on his closed fist.
“I hope that heart has some love left-over, I’m gonna need you to make more. Eventually,” Aphmau huffed, still grinning.
“Being in the presence of such a beautiful maiden shall surely refill me. Glad I have you around for that.” Laurance couldn’t help himself. He felt his face flush as he stared longingly at her, and he sunk onto his hand while she watched him back.
Aphmau blushed with a soft expression.
“As you should be.” She said with a smirk. Smugly, she leaned back from Laurance while taking another bite from her biscuit.
Laurance hadn’t realised how close their faces had been just moments before. He lifted his head off his hand, tilting his head away from her as he felt his face grow even hotter. You can be so witty sometimes, Aph, he thought with a hint of shame.
“I’ll make another batch tomorrow. If you would like,” he said hastily. Laurance stole a glance at her while he grabbed a slice of bread, noticing that she was still smirking at him.
“I can make time. Probably.” She replied, finishing off the last of her biscuit. “Hopefully.” She added with a grimace. Laurance looked at her with a sympathetic expression.
“I’ll make them anyway.” He declared after a moment, swallowing the rest of his bread down. “You can come over whenever you want to have them. I’m fine with waiting. You should know that,” he added softly.
Aphmau grasped her teacup and took a long, thoughtful sip. “That’s not a bad idea.” She said, glancing at him with an expression that confirmed what he’d said. “I would like that. And… thank you.”
Laurance felt his insides melt with overwhelming warmth. It was incredibly difficult to not utterly swoon over her in that moment. He waited for her to put her cup down before he scooched over on the couch, hesitating a few inches away from her.
“Sorry, can I—”
“—Do you want a…” The two of them said at the same time.
They stared at each other for a long moment, both of their faces red. Laurance glanced at her nervously as Aphmau stared up at him. A small smile spread across her face, and she raised her arms towards him, gesturing that she was fine with it.
Nervously, he pulled her into a gentle hug. She embraced him back, and Laurance nearly sank into her like a sad, lovesick dog.
They leaned towards the backrest as they sat there together. Two people hugging on a couch. In a very not-platonic way. He let out a sigh as he squeezed her, trying to pretend that he wasn’t terrified. Trying to pretend that maybe, just maybe, he could exist in this moment forever.
Aphmau snuggled into him, accidentally letting out a slight sniffle. In response, Laurance unwittingly kissed the top of her head, his lips gently brushing against her forehead. To his surprise she didn’t protest. But he wasn’t one to push his luck, or intentionally make his Lord uncomfortable. So he left it as it was—a supportive kiss. There was no reason to get greedy, especially when he didn’t deserve a single ounce of her.
So they sat there, huddled together on the couch.
She squeezed Laurance, burrowing her head into his chest. “I’m sorry.” Aphmau mumbled into him, her voice strained.
“It’s alright,” he replied quietly. “I’m sorry too.” He admitted, leaning his head away from hers. She continued to rest against his chest, despite the small glance she spared him.
Laurance didn’t know how to tell her. Didn’t know how to explain any of what he’d been through. There was already so much going on after the three… two of them missed fifteen entire years. In the blink of an eye.
That’s what he should have been focusing on. Making up for all that lost time, just like Aphmau was. Taking care of the village, just like Aphmau was.
How does a person even begin to explain being in another dimension? Would anyone even believe him?
What would he do if he’d lead the Void here? There was no justification to such an oversight, oh his or any of the scientists behalf. Him returning could have singlehandedly doomed his entire dimension.
He couldn’t tell her. He didn’t know if she’d forgive him. He didn’t know if he deserved to be forgiven.
How come he got to come home, when she didn’t.
————————————————
Nighttime had only just hit Phoenix Drop. The village felt quiet, peaceful even. Much unlike the town’s history.
Laurance gingerly opened the front door, glancing back at his Lord as she finished tying the laces on her boots. She began buttoning up her jacket as she stood and turned towards the door. Their eyes met, the silence between them masking the affection they silently shared.
The two of them had spent the rest of their time together resting on the couch. Aphmau ate all of the biscuits in between some talking, which he appreciated greatly. Laurance had ended up drinking her leftover tea. His throat was still dry despite it.
Conversation had flowed between gaps of silence. Some of it mundane, some with hints of seriousness. It felt nice, pretending to be normal for once.
It felt good to hold her. It felt warm, peaceful. She felt like home.
Aphmau trotted up beside him, watching the open doorway with a look of melancholy. Her hand brushed against his, and he couldn’t stop himself from slipping his fingers between hers. She squeezed his hand back.
“Thank you Laurance,” she mumbled. Slowly, she tilted her head up at him with a nervous smile. “I’m glad that we… I really enjoy spending time with you.”
“I’m glad that you came.” Laurance breathed out in a sigh, grinning down at Aphmau. “You can always drop by whenever you need. I’ll be here,” he murmured affectionately.
Gently, he raised her hand to his lips, firmly kissing her knuckles. “I’ll always be here.” He said, watching her eyes with a soft expression. Laurance slowly released her hand as he took a step back from the doorway.
“Laurance…” Aphmau smiled, a soft blush on her cheeks. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I mean it! I’ll find the time.” She exclaimed as she turned to face him. “You better have another batch of those cookies ready!”
“Biscuits,” Laurance chided with a teasing tone. “And I will, don’t worry.” He said with a grin, one hand resting on the handle of the door.
“Have a good night,” she said with a giggle.
“Good night, my Lord,” he replied with a sad smile.
Aphamu waved as she walked off into the village, leaving Laurance to shut the entrance of his lonely house. It grew too quiet without her. It didn’t feel the same without her.
He sighed as he pressed his head against the door. Lovesick fool… he thought to himself, stifling a flustered grin. His whole body was hot, his heart beating rapidly with glee.
“Oh how I don’t deserve you, Lady Aphmau,” he mumbled shyly. He took a step back from the door, wiping a hand across his face as he took a deep breath. “You wonderful woman.” He added, spinning in a short circle before he began gallivanting towards the sitting room.
————————————————
After a quick tidy up of the sitting room, Laurance snuffed out the lamps and made his way towards his bedroom.
He tore his sweaty shirts off with a slight shiver, dumping them onto the chair beside his desk. He glanced towards his drawers, trotting over and shifting through them hastily. Once he found a warm, woolen tunic, he shoved it over his chest. He stared down at it blankly for a few moments.
Really? This doesn’t do much against the cold there, I’m always wearing my armour anyway, he chided himself with a grunt. Besides, what am I even doing? Things are going well with Lady Aphmau, I shouldn’t be thinking about… I shouldn’t let this… His thoughts trailed off as his eyes moved towards his bed.
He needed to know.
He needed to find her.
Laurance looked out his bedroom window. Looked out at Phoenix Drop, the village that he needed to call home. His duties should be lying here in this town. Not there. Not in any other dimension.
Oh Irene, forgive me. He rubbed his face with both hands as he walked towards his bed, trying to stop the adrenaline from boiling over. He passed by his window and shut the curtains, his room allowed to be cast in darkness. It helped him feel a little less anxious.
Laurance slipped under the covers and onto his mattress. He allowed the heavy blankets to come up to his chin as he manoeuvred his arms around one of his pillows, the other beneath his head. He snuggled it glumly as he stared at his dark ceiling.
He let out a sigh, his fingers flexing with nervousness. He willed himself into breathing deeply and slowly. He needed to calm down. He would find her.
As he closed his eyes, he embraced the darkness under his eyelids.
And he thought of drowning.
Water all around him, the muffled rushing of liquid filling his ears.
His breath escaping his lungs.
The soft tickle of air bubbles grazing past his forehead.
His clothes soaked, wet and cold, weighing him down as he tried to swim, to rise.
The pressure hitting his ribcage like a landslide.
His body screaming as it was slowly crushed.
And then, a silent but quick acceptance.
His mouth agape as he breathed in water, letting it fill his lungs.
His body relaxing despite the pain.
Oh how it hurt.
It stung.
It was so cold.
Laurance opened his eyes. His armour and chainmail was cold and heavy. He felt his emerald cape billowing behind him in the water, brushing against his arms and the left side of his body.
It was dark. It usually was in this ocean. It went on for miles in every direction, with not even a sea floor in sight. The blue of this water was closer to indigo, becoming a hollow ebony the longer he looked.
He twisted his head and body around as he took in his surroundings—which wasn’t much to look at, as usual. Water, really deep water, and more water. He sniffled, tilting his head upright. There was a hint of light illuminating the sea above him, enough to be seen from his vantage.
Instinctually, he began swimming towards the surface.
The cold water dragged at his clothing, making it difficult to move anywhere but down. Laurance pushed on anyway. Despite the pressure strengthening the higher he swam. Despite the tendrils he could feel wrapping around his feet, threatening to start dragging him down.
I won’t let you stop me, his thought reverberated around the water. It felt so loud, so jarring, as he heard his words echo back at him. He ignored the idea that the Void was using the words against him. It wasn’t sentient, simply a force of nature.
At least that’s what he thought Monty had said.
Laurance shook his head at the memory. With several strong kicks of his feet, he felt the tendrils slither away from him. Determinedly, he continued upwards, his jaw clenched against the cold.
He would find Aphmau. No matter what dimension she was in, he was going to save her.
After all, he swore he would keep her safe.