Chapter Text
☆★☆★☆★
Yum★Yum
★Yummy!!★
☆★☆★☆★
Chapter 1:
Yummymasement★Acroquey
Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
“Good morning Doctor Captain! It is time for ship diagnostics. Please be attentive for the review.”
He opens his eyes to see the bright lights of his ship's companion machine, a small orange disk with two mechanical grabbers on both sides. The lights of its eyes are bright compared to the dim lights of the rocket, and the even dimmer light of the stars beyond. He takes a few seconds to adjust to being awake, letting himself float aimlessly around the cabin of his rocket trying his best not to look the little machine in the eyes as it hovers around him demanding his attention.
The sentient alarm clock wins as it turns the lights of the cabin on entirely, and he hisses as he feels himself begin to melt in the direct light. He is upside down now, as much as one can be in space, his feet facing the lights as he has to look up at the floor below him. He swims forward until he grabs onto a handlebar on the wall and rights himself.
He takes a few deep breaths, the stale oxygen tastes bitter in his tongue as he collects himself. The soft hum of the air conditioning has all but become silent in the background from how familiar he is with it.
“Doctor. You have not said Good Morning back to me.” U.F.C, the Flying Crab machine floats in front of his view, a hint of some emotion on its face, even if he knows it doesn't have a heart. “I have been instructed to make sure you remember society on your long journey. It is proper to reply back when someone greets you. Such as Good morning, Hello, How are you, and-”
“Thank you U.F.C. Good Morning, please stop.” The Captain stretches every muscle he has, from head to toe. He could swear his joints popping into place would cause him to leave the ground again if he did not know better. “Today is for Diagnostic? It felt like just yesterday that we ran our last one.”
“No Captain, we last ran Diagnostics one solar week ago. You have spent over seventy percent of the last week asleep. I recommend you change the amount of sleep you take in order to combat your misjudged perception of time.”
“Ehhh?! Seventy percent?”
“Yes Sir,” UFC continues, "Per my review, I believe you are suffering from what is called a ‘food coma’ back home. Your sugar intake is so great that your metabolism requires you to rest in order to digest what you have eaten.”
He sighs, smoothing out his fur after the momentary surprise. Maybe he has been sleeping a lot, but it's not entirely his fault the only things he can do on this ship are practice gravity unassisted somersaults, gorge on candies, and nap on every surface that isn't fragile. “Very well. Please run diagnostics for me.”
“Yes Doctor Captain Sir.” U.F.C turns to face the glass window as it turns a more opaque black. From his eyes he projects a screen for the Captain to watch.
U.F.C enters diagnostics mode, its voice falling to a robotic octave as it repeats its programming. “S.S Acroquey, Journey across the stars, Day 83. It has been Seven days since our last Diagnostics check, Performed by the ship's Captain. Previous Review, no concerns to mission objective.”
“Exterior integrity at Ninety Nine percent. No Risk Detected.
Asteroid detection cameras are fully operational, last cleaned fourteen days ago. No Risk Detected.
Exterior Lights, last replaced twenty eight days ago. No Risk Detected…”
The Captain zones out as his companion paddles and wades through every mandatory check it must make. It always makes a noise when something important actually comes up, which means he only has to be awake to give the all good at the end.
“Fuel levels have been unchanged for seven days. No risk Detected.
Food Storage has remained on schedule. No Risk Detected.
Beep
Candy storage below recommended level. Risk of agitated Captain noted.”
“Agitated Captain- Excuse me?”
“Risk Detected. Captain, may I recommend a course of action?”
“What do you mean we are running low on Candy? Have I seriously been eating that much?” He asks the robot.
“I have ejected eighteen pounds of candy wrappers in the past three diagnostic cycles.”
“And? That's not too much! That's just the trash!”
“You were packed for an average of one pound a cycle. You are exceeding consumption rates by six-hundred percent. Should I make a note about your consumption for future journeys?”
“No!”
“I am able to interpret as quiet as two decibels. Please consider that you should not hurt your voice shouting so loud.” The robot turns off the projection and looks back at him.
He crosses his arms in lieu of talking back to the machine. He knows he is acting cranky, but he wants his candy, and he doesn't want to spend the remainder of this trip without even a single chocolate bar.
“I can recommend a solution, Doctor Captain. Would you like to know how we can refill our supply of Candy for the rest of our trip?”
His ears perk up, “We can? Tell me now.”
U.F.C turns to face the window again, protecting a screen quite different from the basic Diagnostics screen he is so familiar with. A video is projected, a simple recording done by an astronaut before him who had landed on a planet he does not recognize. The valleys and rivers are made of chocolate, he watches in rapture as the camera pans to a gumball hill, with candy wrappers butterflies landing on candy corn ferns.
“Where is this? What are you showing me?” He asks.
“This planet has been named Planet Mignon, and it is a mere two days away from our current position. The Candy trees have been said to grow sweets so pure and delectable that they would leave you satisfied for weeks. Would you like to set a detour for Planet Mignon in order to restock on the uniquely sweet fruits of its land?”
“What kind of question is that?” He says, raising a finger to point at the screen before him. “U.F.C We are setting a course for Planet Mignon! Detour Approved!”
Before he can grab the railing, the ship lunches forward as U.F.C takes control. He goes flying heels overhead as he spins to the back wall of the ship, a huge smile on his face as he somersaults across the small cabin.
“It is time for the S.S Acroquey to make a detour to Planet Mignon!”