Archive of Our Own ^beta

Nicole felt lighter. 

She knew she shouldn’t. She should be worried about how little money she had on her savings and anxious about paying rent and already thinking about the next steps. She should be worried about the years of service on her back and with absolutely no return, no safety net to land. She wasn’t 20 and perky anymore, she couldn’t rely on her looks and flirting with managers while playing the naive fresh-faced character to get a job. 

She didn’t have a direction. But she didn’t care, not yet. 

She browsed the aisles of the wine shop, an annoyingly persistent voice in the back of her head telling her to choose the white wine that would blow through whatever little money she had left the fastest. 

She settled on two bottles she would never normally purchase. Something she had seen on the Bistro Huddy menu with a lot of dollar signs next to it and never had the courage- or budget- to purchase. She used to think she would do it when she had a reason to celebrate. 

Getting fired wasn’t a reason to celebrate, but she bought them anyway. Maybe it was the mascara streaking down her face, maybe it was the lines on her forehead, but to add insult to injury the cashier didn’t even card her as she went up to the register. A bitter reminder that the years running plates and taking orders were quite literally written all over her face. 

She drove home with the radio off, not really thinking about anything. She just felt calm, and focused on the road that would lead her home. 

When she got to her apartment, she didn’t turn on the lights. She kicked her shoes to a corner and tore her Bistro Huddy shirt off. 

She thought about setting the shirt on fire, but accidentally setting her apartment ablaze seemed like too much of a liability. God knew she didn’t have any money for liabilities. 

Nicole settled for stuffing it down her trash can, buried between coffee filters and empty greek yogurt containers.  

She sat on her living room floor and opened the first bottle, drinking it without a glass. Sommeliers everywhere would chew her out for chugging a somewhat expensive wine straight from the bottle, no finesse. She didn’t give a fuck, and no one was there to see it anyway. 

Alone in her dark apartment, she could finally allow herself to think. She took another big swig of wine and let the events of the day wash over her.

Spending 20 dollars to learn she would get fired. Storming out and crashing out in front of at least 20 different guests, including Poppy. Having Terry out of all people tell her what a terrible server she is and it suits her right getting fired. Putting on an unplanned show to the whole staff, leaving her mark as the staff psycho. 

Ex-staff psycho. 

She had dreamed about that moment for years, sometimes the fantasy of it would be the only thing that would get her through a shift. She dreamed about walking out and cursing everyone, telling them where they could shove it, flipping everyone off and tossing a drink at Poppy’s stupid face. And yet the reality felt more bitter than sweet. In her fantasies, she always left with her head right and feeling too big for that place. But she just felt small. 

She felt stupid when the word loyalty kept coming to her. Or the lack of it. She should’ve known better than to expect loyalty from just another job, and felt even more stupid when she realized she didn’t consider Bistro Huddy just another job. It wasn’t family, but the word family never meant much to her anyway. It was a place that shaped her, for better or for worse. 

She hated to admit that it stung. It stung to have Terry throw that all on her face, when she was the one who helped him get back to his position before. Nicole always thought the pretend hate between them was just an act, and they were way past empty threats. 

She hated being wrong.

She was just glad she had enough self control to get to her car before bursting into angry tears, mascara running down her face and her tears blurring her vision as she drove away. 

The look on Ruby’s face as she stormed out would haunt her for a lifetime. Maybe she was reading too much into it, but she saw all those unspoken words and interrupted conversations on Ruby’s face. She also saw that sense of understanding and loyalty between them, a weird bond built after endless shifts as the only women working. She saw sadness, too, as Nicole became the walking cliche of the one who got away right in front of her eyes. It took her half a second to read all of that in Ruby’s eyes, and maybe after another third of the bottle she would be brave enough to think about the meaning of it. 

She could pretend to be surprised at how often her thoughts drifted away to Ruby, but it had stopped being a surprise many sleepless nights ago. It had been a persistent weight in the back of her mind, somewhere she only allowed herself to visit when she had enough wine clouding her judgements. 

And she did have enough wine in her system, so she closed her eyes in the dark room and pictured Ruby. She pictured a new, younger, blonder server joining Bistro Huddy, and Ruby kissing her under a mistletoe at the end of the year, Ruby’s hand under her shirt in the dry storage. Maybe when Ruby asked her difficult questions, the new girl wouldn’t run. She swallowed the knot on her throat and drank more wine.

She was so deep in her own thoughts she was startled when she heard a knock on her door. Her apartment was pitch black, so she stayed quiet and waited for whatever annoying neighbor was bothering her to go away. 

But there was another knock, more persistent, and Nicole got up with a sigh. 

The room spun around her, as she half stumbled to the door in the darkness. She opened the door ready to tell someone to fuck off and blinked several times, wondering if her eyes had failed her as they adjusted to the light or if her wine-soaked brain had betrayed her and hallucinated the tall, redhead chef standing in front of her. 

“Ruby?” She said, still scared that this was some stupid trick her mind was playing on her. 

“Are you OK?” Ruby said, reaching one hand to hold Nicole’s arm, but froze halfway through as she realized Nicole was shirtless. Her face turned pink. “Do you usually open the door in nothing but a bra?” 

Nicole looked down. She forgot she wasn’t wearing anything on her top. She shrugged as an answer, drunk enough to not care. 

“I’m…” Nicole tried to answer, but she didn’t know how to. “What are you doing here? How did you get my address?” 

Ruby tried to ignore Nicole’s state of undress. This wasn’t about Ruby’s need to look down and take it all in, this was about making sure Nicole was OK. So she ignored her selfish urges and looked into Nicole’s eyes. 

“We were all worried after you left… I was so worried about you.  I had to check in on you, so Bridgette gave me your address.” Ruby said. She was looking everywhere but down to Nicole’s chest. She awkwardly bit her lip and extended her hand that was holding a gift bag. “I also brought you this.” 

Nicole took the bag, a sheepish smile on her face as she looked at the logo of a fancy chocolate store she loved but never indulged in. 

“A going-away gift?” Nicole teased, popping one of the chocolates on her mouth. 

“Something like it. This is weird, right?” Ruby asked, suddenly self-conscious. Nicole just laughed, her first real laugh since she walked through the doors of Bistro Huddy. 

“A little. But I'm into it.” She flashed a smile at Ruby, and pushed the door open, motioning with her head for Ruby to follow her. “Come in. I need more wine if I'm going to talk about this.” 

She walked back inside knowing Ruby would follow, and heard the soft click of the door closing behind them. She turned on a lamp, casting a warm glow over her apartment, and sat back down on the floor, taking the open bottle to drink some more. She offered the bottle to Ruby, who took it with her free hand and sat next to Nicole. Not close enough to touch, but close enough so she felt she pull of Nicole’s gravity. 

Again, it would be too easy to be selfish. To focus on the way the soft light from the lamp cast a golden glow on Nicole's skin, accentuating the curves of her half-naked body. She clung to the wine for dear life, taking a long sip. She distracted her eyes by looking at the label. 

“That’s a nice bottle,” Ruby said with a low whistle. 

“It is, isn’t it? I thought I’d treat myself. I saw it on our menu and always wanted to try it, but it was never on my budget.” Nicole leaned against her hand and looked at Ruby, watching her.

Ruby raised an eyebrow at her. “And it's on the budget now?”

Nicole stared at her, daring her to say it. Ruby thought it would be safer to change the subject, to understand where they stood before saying anything else. 

“I’m gonna ask again, but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. We can talk about it, or we can sit here in silence, or you can tell me to get lost.” Ruby said, turning to face Nicole and look into her eyes. “How are you feeling, Nicole?” 

Her voice was soft and earnest. Earnest enough that Nicole felt the urge to be earnest to her too. She needed more liquid courage, though, so she took the bottle from Ruby’s hand, fingers warm against Ruby’s skin. 

“Betrayed.” She confessed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Ruby looked at her as if waiting for her to elaborate. Nicole sighed. “I gave so much of myself to that place, for so many years. I know it’s stupid to say I expected a little loyalty. But I did, and this sucks. Telling Terry to fuck off didn’t feel nearly as good as I expected. It felt… flat.” 

“You’re not stupid for expecting loyalty, Nicole. We all agree that Terry is in the wrong here.” Ruby said, and Nicole saw the heat in her eyes. She grabbed Nicole's hand. “This is not over, okay? I know you'll be back. Terry is stupid and stubborn, but he will realize his mistake eventually. While that doesn't happen… Shouldn't you be a little more careful with your money?” 

Ruby was lazily rubbing her thumb over Nicole's skin, maybe trying to soften the blow of her words. Nicole felt close to falling for it, falling for the somewhat harsh and yet truthful words leaving her lips. 

“Right. I'm the dumb server who knows nothing about money.” Nicole's tone was bitter, and Ruby hesitated. 

“That's not what I'm saying, Nicole. Anyone can see how smart you are. But I have to admit you haven't been making the smartest decisions lately.” Ruby confessed. 

Nicole sat up, staring at Ruby. She didn't need this on top of everything else, someone pointing at her mistakes that she was damn aware of. 

“What do you mean by that?” Nicole spat out, taking her hand back. 

“I mean that maybe you shouldn't have said anything about the reason behind the comment cards, or maybe you shouldn't have yelled at Terry and his fragile ego in front of the whole restaurant, and maybe you shouldn't have spent your money on a very nice bottle of wine if you don't know when you'll get your next paycheck.” Ruby didn't hesitate, and that was one of the things Nicole loved the most about her. She didn't take bullshit from anyone and was honest to a fault. 

She didn't love it that much when it was pointed at her, though. 

“Of course I told the other servers about it, Ruby. I had to. It was all of our asses on the line, and we might not act like it but we have each others’ back.” Nicole confessed, her eyes on fire. 

“I know why you did it, Nicole. I just… I never thought it would be you. I wanted you to have any edge on this game if you could, the stakes were too high. But you telling them only makes me like you more, if I'm being honest.” Ruby quietly admitted, her eyes on Nicole’s. It was the truth. She loved the fierce, blunt side of Nicole, but she loved even more this loyal, soft side of her that Nicole tried but so often failed to hide. 

A light blush covered Nicole’s cheek as she turned away hiding her smile. “You like me, huh?”

“I thought I made it obvious.” Ruby said with a laugh, and she felt the air between them change. It felt heavy, charged, as if the smallest movement could turn the sparks between them into a wildfire. 

There was no one to interrupt them now, no Terry or Brad or annoying guests. It was just them and the truth hanging from Ruby’s lips. 

Nicole put the bottle down and reached for Ruby, her hand pushing some of Ruby's hair behind her ear. 

“When a hot new blonde replaces me, don’t forget about me too fast, okay?” Nicole couldn't help herself. 

“Are you kidding me? I couldn't if I tried.” Ruby whispered, leaning into Nicole's touch. She had tried, but Nicole's hold on her was too strong, too magnetic. Walking away was impossible. 

Nicole didn't know what her future looked like. She didn't know if Bistro Huddy would have her back, if she wanted to be back at all, if this was the universe telling her to move on. All she knew is that she didn't have to worry anymore about what people would think of her getting involved with yet another so-called work spouse, at least not in that moment. She was free of whatever had been holding her back, free of people's judgments of her. Behind her own four walls, she could do anything she wanted. And what she wanted was Ruby.  

Ruby was in front of her, looking at Nicole's lips as if the world started and ended on her lips. If Nicole could see herself through Ruby's eyes, she would find a mirrored look on her own face. 

So she leaned in. 

She used the hand holding Ruby's hair to pull her close and crash their lips together on a kiss that tasted like white wine, expensive chocolate and missed opportunities. Ruby had been waiting for it, wanting it, but it still felt better than she remembered. She pulled Nicole closer still by her waist, the touch of her rough hands setting Nicole's bare skin on fire. 

She had a hard time admitting it, but Nicole missed Ruby's lips. She had been thinking about Ruby's kiss since the secret holiday party, wondering when she would find herself alone with her again to feel Ruby's lips on hers. In all of her fantasizing about the moment, she never thought it would be like this, after getting fired and Ruby showing up at her apartment like something out of her wildest dreams. 

Nicole whined into Ruby's mouth as she felt Ruby's tongue chasing her own, tasting every inch of Nicole's mouth. Ruby's hands on her bare skin and the wine flooding her system were driving Nicole insane with want and she needed more, she needed Ruby to touch her everywhere until she forgot about the day she had, until she forgot her own name. She crawled into Ruby's lap, tossing one leg over her hips so she was straddling Ruby on her living room floor, Ruby's back against her couch. 

The low moan Ruby let out only drove her even crazier, and Nicole held the back of Ruby's neck with both hands and pushed herself against Ruby, needing to feel all of Ruby touching all of her. It still wasn't enough, she felt like nothing would be enough to fill her need of Ruby. But she was willing to try. 

Nicole grabbed Ruby's hand that was on her waist and brought it to her chest, over her bra, while she kissed and sucked a path down Ruby's neck. She heard Ruby's low whimper, so needy, and it pushed her to kiss her faster, harder. 

Having Nicole like this, all needy on top of her, giving herself to Ruby, was everything she dreamed of and wished for. It was perfect. The weight of Nicole's body on her lap, her warm and soft skin pushed up against Ruby, Nicole's demanding moves and pleads for more as she breathed heavily against Ruby's ear, her hands grabbing Ruby's and placing it on her lower stomach, daring her to go lower. But the wine on Nicole's tongue was a warning, and Ruby hated herself for pulling away. 

"Wait, Nicole." Ruby said against Nicole's lips, pulling away for some breathing room. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but we should slow down. You've had an, uh, eventful day, and we've been drinking... Maybe we should save this for another time?" 

Nicole leaned back, sitting straighter on Ruby's lap. Her chest was in Ruby's eye level and Ruby cursed whatever devil was using this moment to tempt her and test her will. 

Nicole wanted to fight Ruby on it, tell her to shut up and take Nicole's clothes off to fuck her right there. Nicole was so pathetically gone for Ruby that the fact that Ruby cared enough to know they shouldn't go any further made her even wetter, it only worsened the ache between her legs. She took the braveness the wine was giving her and said so. 

"I know you're right, but you saying that only makes me want to rip off your clothes and mine and lead you straight to my bedroom just to show just how good you're making me feel." Nicole said in a low voice, playing with short hair on the back of Ruby's neck. She felt Ruby's grip on her hips tighten. 

"You're making this impossible, Nicole." Ruby said, leaning in to place a soft kiss on Nicole's shoulder. Nicole sighed.

"I know. Maybe I'm hoping you will change your mind." She teased, and Ruby smiled. 

"Trust me, I want all of that more than you can imagine. But I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you, right?" She asked, only a little afraid that Nicole wouldn't agree. But Nicole nodded and kissed her again, softer this time. She couldn't help herself and allowed a few seconds to get lost in the kiss, but she didn't linger. 

"How about we order some takeout, get comfortable, and you spend the night here? Then we can revisit this in the morning..." Nicole teased, placing a kiss on Ruby's neck. Ruby was almost giving in and forgetting her morals and ethics and whatever barriers stood between her consciousness and a naked Nicole spread out for her. 

"That sounds perfect," Ruby breathed out, taken aback by this open, soft version of Nicole she hadn't gotten to see before but loved being allowed to experience. Nicole smiled and kissed her one more time, because she could, because no one would interrupt them. She didn't bother hoping out of Ruby's lap, she just made herself comfortable leaning her back against Ruby's chest. Nicole grabbed her phone and opened a food delivery app, going through the options with Ruby's arms around her. Ruby tried to be normal about it, about sharing this casual intimacy with Nicole, but every moment felt like a dream and much more than she ever dared to hope for. 

Nicole didn't know what tomorrow, or next week, or any sense of future would look like. She would eventually worry about it, but it felt difficult to worry about anything with Ruby's arms around her making her feel so safe.