Chapter Text
After becoming a vessel for a god-eater and then releasing said god-eater out into the world to starve in the absence of the gods six months ago, Imogen thought nothing could really shake her anymore.
Then she woke up one morning with a headache and a bad cough, suddenly unable to breathe through her nose and even more irritable than usual.
A cold? 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺? That was the best the world could throw at her? She was almost insulted, if she was being honest, that after everything she'd been through, she was still able to catch a cold.
She turned to look at Laudna, who was still dozing peacefully next to her; it was odd to see her chest rise and fall with her steady breathing, to see the color in her skin and hear the rhythm of her heart, to see her looking this healthy and alive. She was smiling in her sleep, and Imogen's face mirrorred her expression, her frustration forgotten for a moment.
It felt almost 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 to be able to just.... exist, after all this time, after two years of being on the run and three months - how was it only three months? - of trying to save the world. Imogen still half-expected someone to show up at her and Laudna's doorstep to announce a new apocalypse that they had to deal with, or a problem they had to fix, or something else to rip them away from their newfound peace.
But it hadn't happened yet. The biggest problems Imogen had to contend with on a day-to-day basis were finding critters trying to burrow into the walls of their cottage, arguing with Laudna about mugs, and trying to figure out how to keep a stupid garden alive. It was the first time in her life Imogen was completely, truly 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺.
She wasn't going to let a damned cold get in the way of that.
Imogen had gone on a walk to try and let out some of her frustration, and was greeted by the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen and Laudna's voice softly humming a song to herself when she came back.
"Oh, hi darling!" Laudna said once she saw her, smiling brightly. One of her front teeth was a little crooked, and Imogen had always found it adorable. "I saw the note you left, did you enjoy your walk?"
Imogen nodded, lacking the energy to talk.
"Do you want breakfast?"
Imogen shook her head as she unlaced her boots and unceremoniously threw them on the mat by the door. She headed directly towards the couch - the living room and kitchen were right next to each other - and groaned as she sank down into it, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes to try and ease the ache growing behind them.
"Are you alright, love?" Laudna asked as she came over and gently sat down next to her.
"Yeah, I'm fine..." she grumbled, slightly muffled by her palms. "I just think I might be comin' down with somethin'."
"Oh no! Well, do, do you need anything, should I go get you some tea, or, or medicine, or..."
Laudna took a few breaths in quick succession, her worry evident in her tone. There were a few times, in the past few months, where Imogen had to calm her down from panic attacks, since her body was no longer used to needing this much air but her mind was as anxious as ever, and she reflexively reached out a hand towards her girlfriend, as touch always seemed to help.
"I... Um... Mmm..." Her voice wavered, and even with the circlet Imogen could hear her mind 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨.
"Laudna..."
"Hm?"
Imogen finally raised her head and Laudna's face came into view, visibly frazzled and panicked.
"Just breathe, honey, it's okay."
Laudna nodded, squeezing Imogen's hand in time with her breaths.
"Yes, right, I-I'm sorry, I..."
"No need to apologize."
"But..."
"Laudna."
She went still for a moment.
"Right. Yes. Of course."
"I'm sure it's just a cold. I'll be fine."
Laudna smiled, a bit too wide and manic, one hand frantically combing through her hair while the other held Imogen's. She nodded, taking another deep breath.
"You always said I'm very capable," Imogen teased. "I'll get through this, don't worry."
"You 𝘢𝘳𝘦 capable!"
"So are you."
Laudna's smile grew to something more genuine, and she looked down bashfully. She timidly reached a hand over to cup Imogen's cheek and ran a thumb over her cheekbone.
"Hm... You don't feel feverish, at least. That's good."
"See? I probably just need a good night's sleep, and I'll be right as rai-"
As if the universe delighted in contradicting her, a nasty-sounding cough tore through her throat before she was able to finish her sentence. She felt the panic spike in her girlfriend's mind, felt a hand on her back rubbing small circles as she tried to clear her airway of whatever was in it.
"I'm... Fine..." She rasped.
Laudna was very clearly unconvinced, but to her credit, she didn't say anything to contradict her.
"I'll go make you some tea," she simply said, before leaning down to kiss Imogen.
"Wait!" The quick reply triggered another coughing fit, and Imogen had to almost shove her out of the way.
"What is it, darling?" Laudna asked once the fit was over.
The realization had hit her like a blow to the stomach.
"You... You'll get sick. If you kiss me."
The dark-haired woman raised an eyebrow.
"Laudna, you... You can actually get sick now!" She let out another cough. "Fuck... Fuck, you can't... You can't be near me, I don't want you to catch this..."
"You said it was just a cold!"
Imogen coughed again, muffling it inside her shirt.
"Yeah, but... Your immune system hasn't been workin' for thirty years, it's probably not that great anymore..."
"Oh, believe me, it can't be worse than before." Laudna waved a hand dismissively. "My family didn't have money, and near the end, Whitestone was pretty awful, so everyone was sick all the time..."
"Exactly, you're probably not as resilient as when you were more... Y'know..."
"More what? Dead?"
"Well... yeah... We don't know how vulnerable you are to germs and stuff now, it's better if we don't take any chances."
Laudna rolled her eyes.
"Imogen, I've died 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘤𝘦, and we've saved the world from a god-eating entity, I won't be laid low by a 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥."
Imogen huffed in slight annoyance, but couldn't help but smile at her girlfriend's stubbornness - and dramatics.
"I'm not sayin' you can't handle this, it's just..." She sighed. "You're a lot more fragile now, bein' mortal."
The other woman sighed pensively.
"But I... I want to take care of you..." She admitted, voice cracking only slightly.
"I know, I just don't want you to get sick too."
Laudna smiled softly and tucked a strand of hair behind Imogen's ear.
"Even if I do, it'll be worth it, because I'll have gotten to spend more time with you."
Imogen shook her head with a laugh and wrapped her girlfriend tightly in her arms.
"I love you so fuckin' much, you know that?"
She felt Laudna press a kiss to the top of her head.
"I love you too, darling. Now, I'll go make you that tea I promised."
.......
The cold passed rather quickly. Two days of warm drinks, whatever medicine Imogen could find, and an almost excessive amount of sleep, doctor's orders - and if the doctor in question was her girlfriend who wasn't even close to being qualified to be a doctor, well, that was their business - and Imogen was back to herself.
Imogen resisted the urge to gloat, not wanting to make Laudna feel bad for worrying about her, but did feel a little smug for being right. She made sure, however, to keep an eye on Laudna, certain she'd get sick next, and knowing how allergic her girlfriend was to asking for help. But Laudna seemed as chipper as usual, which didn't mean much, considering her typical strategy when she was struggling was to plaster on a smile and suffer in silence.
Her suspicions only grew at dinner that night; Laudna seemed half-asleep in her chair, only picking at her food and barely talking as she rested her chin on her palm, dark circles prominent under her unfocused, slowly closing eyes. Her hair fell over one side of her face in a dark curtain, the one white streak nearly falling into her plate. Her cheeks were a bit flushed, and Imogen couldn't help but notice her breathing had a more ragged quality than usual.
"You doin' alright, Laudna?"
Laudna seemed to snap back to reality, blinking rapidly as she righted herself.
"Hm?"
"You okay?"
She smiled.
"Yes, of course!"
Imogen's brow furrowed. Laudna either didn't notice or pretended not to.
"You've barely touched your food."
"Oh, I just..." She waved a hand around, her usual theatricality returning ever-so-slightly. "I suppose I'm not very hungry today. I'm still getting used to having to eat food regularly, you know."
"Right, right..." Imogen said doubtfully.
"What about you, dear?" Laudna let go of her fork to rest her chin on both hands, her gaze inspecting Imogen but her smile never dropping. "You're looking better, I think we got rid of this little ailment, yes?"
Imogen smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine, but-"
"Oh, that's wonderful!" Laudna cut in. "I'm glad to hear that. I was quite worried, you know, I know how capable you are but I just didn't want to take any chances, we never know what could... Hm."
Her features went pinched and she winced.
"Uh... Laudna?"
The woman in question let out a small cough. Imogen sighed.
"Oh no..."
Laudna shook her head.
"No, no, don't you worry now, I just had something stuck in my throat, it probably went down the wrong pipe, that's all."
She coughed again. Imogen gave her a very pointed look.
"It's nothing, I promise!"
Imogen resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
"Alright, well, if you say it's nothin', then... I guess it's nothin'." She put her hands up in surrender, attempting to seem casual.
Laudna nodded, smiling as she stood up - was Imogen imagining it, or did she look like she was struggling to stand up? - and began putting the leftovers away, dodging her girlfriend's questions like they were deadly missiles and coughing dryly in the middle of every other sentence.
Maybe she 𝘸𝘢𝘴 okay, and Imogen was worrying for nothing. If Laudna was still acting weird the following day, Imogen would talk to her. She just hoped this was nothing.
𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘨𝘰𝘥𝘴... 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦... 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.
.............
The morning came and Imogen found herself alone in bed. Frowning in confusion, she tried to mentally reach out to Laudna, just to make sure her girlfriend wasn't too far - she would've told her if she was going somewhere, right? Judging by the barely-risen sun peeking through the blinds, it was still early, and Laudna had become a mid-morning riser in recent months, so her being out of bed already was a bit strange.
"𝘓𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘯𝘢, 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺, 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?"
The reply came a few moments later, Laudna's voice thick with sleepy confusion:
"𝘐𝘮𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘯...?"
"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?"
"𝘔𝘮𝘮... 𝘚𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱..."
"𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶?"
"𝘒𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯..."
"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵??"
But there was no other reply. Shrugging off her blankets, Imogen slipped out of bed and made her way to the kitchen, where she found Laudna sitting on the floor with her back to a wall, knees pressed against her chest. She slowly raised her head when the other woman approached, smiling weakly at her.
"What are you doin' on the floor?"
Laudna seemed to hesitate before answering, like she was worried her reply would get her in trouble. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, before curling in on herself even more.
"I... I wanted some water..." Her voice was hoarse and cracked. "So I... I came here... But then I got... dizzy... So I sat down and... I suppose I fell asleep."
Imogen crouched down in front of her, inspecting her girlfriend's appearance; in the dawn light, her cheeks still had that slight pink flush from the day before, and she seemed to be shaking slightly. Her forehead was glistening with sweat, and behind her heavy, fluttering eyelids, her eyes were glossy and unfocused. Imogen fought a wave of panic as she felt all her suspicions from the previous day confirmed.
"Laudna?" She asked hesitantly.
"Hm?"
"How... How are you feelin'?"
"Not... Great." She sounded 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 - how long had she actually slept? "I'm sort of... Cold? But... Also hot. And my head feels weird. I don't... I don't like it."
"Do you mind if I..." She moved a hand towards Laudna's face, waiting for the permission to touch it.
"Um... Sure?"
She pressed a hand to her cheek, then her forehead, frowning at the warmth of her skin.
"Oh, sweetheart... You've got a fever."
"Oh... That explains..." She gestured her hands around herself.
"Yeah..." Imogen sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. Laudna instantly relaxed into the embrace, melting against Imogen's side with a soft sigh. Imogen almost flinched at the heat radiating from her. "I'm sorry, honey, I got you sick..."
"I insisted on taking care of you..." Laudna said weakly, sniffling as she nuzzled her head into the crook of Imogen's neck. "If anything, it's my fault."
Imogen rubbed her arm gently.
"You didn't know it was gonna be that bad."
"I really didn't... Why wasn't it..." She coughed lightly. "Why wasn't it as bad for you?"
Imogen shrugged and smiled.
"'cause I'm very capable, obviously."
Laudna returned the smile, though hers was a bit weaker.
"And I had you takin' care of me. But I'll take care of you, now, and I can't promise I'll do as good a job but I promise I'll do my best."
"Hm... Alright. I-"
She paused abruptly, her expression morphing into surprise, and moved away from Imogen.
"Oh gods, what's hap-"
She then let out the smallest, most adorable sneeze Imogen had ever heard, then three more, before she stopped, staring at Imogen in confusion. Imogen gasped and smiled in delight.
"You've got li'l baby sneezes!"
Laudna pouted.
"Don't make fun of me!"
Imogen laughed, gently knocking her shoulder into Laudna's.
"I'm not, I'm not, I just wasn't expectin' you to sound like a li'l kitten when you sneeze. It's cute."
Laudna huffed.
"I'm all 𝘴𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘺," she said with a snarl, sounding so offended you'd think the sneeze had personally insulted her. "This is 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. Do people really live like this?"
Imogen smiled and cast a quick spell to clean up her face and hands, which had received the brunt of that sneeze.
"Yeah, bein' sick is real gross."
"I hate it." Laudna said, pouting again. She sagged against Imogen with another huff, clearly displeased. "Everything feels 𝘣𝘢𝘥."
Imogen gave her what she hoped was a sympathetic smile.
"Aw, c'm'ere." She pulled her in closer, letting her girlfriend settle into a somewhat comfortable position on her lap. Laudna may have had a good five inches of height on Imogen, but she was very good at making herself as small as possible, and always managed to fit just right in her girlfriend's arms. "Did you sleep at all last night?"
"A little... I couldn't fall asleep, after you did, and... I didn't want to bother you, so... I didn't say anything..."
Imogen brushed strands of hair away from Laudna's face, beginning to weave them into a braid.
"You're never a bother, you know that."
"I wanted to let you rest. You're just getting over being sick yourself, I thought..." She sighed. "I don't know. Old habits die hard, I guess."
"Well, I'm awake now. I can take care of you. Do you wanna go back to bed?"
Laudna hummed hesitantly, but Imogen could see she was very clearly tired.
"It'll probably be more comfortable than the floor," she added with a small smile.
"Too far..." She muttered before burying her face in Imogen's nightshirt, sniffling miserably.
Imogen couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her mouth.
"Laudna..."
"Hm?"
She sighed. If she had to devote the rest of her life to convincing Laudna she deserved nice things, then so be it.
"I'm not lettin' you sleep on our kitchen floor when we have a nice comfy bed in our bedroom. If you don't think you can walk all the way there, I can carry you, it's really no trouble."
Laudna didn't answer, but Imogen could feel her shaking against her chest. She ran her fingers through her girlfriend's hair, trying her best to soothe her but feeling completely out of her depth.
"It's okay... I'm here for you." Her voice sounded too fake, she sucked at being comforting, but she pushed down those thoughts. She could freak out about it later. "Talk to me, sweetheart. What do you need?"
She heard something that sounded like a strangled sob.
"Laudna?"
Laudna looked up at her, eyes wide and wet with tears.
"Aw, it's alright, darlin', don't cry... What's wrong?"
"I don't know..." She sniffled, wiping tears away with shaking hands. "I'm just... Tired... And everything 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴... And my brain's all scrambled, I can't, I can't 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬, and I'm hot, and cold, and sweaty, and..." She let out a shaky exhale. "Ugh... I'm so sorry, Imogen, I'm such a mess..."
Imogen shook her head and cupped Laudna's face - it seemed even hotter than before, she really needed to get that fever down - with both hands, wiping at her tears tenderly with her thumbs. From where she was sitting in Imogen's lap, she seemed impossibly, heartbreakingly small, like an injured bird at the mercy of a hungry barn cat. She looked so utterly 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦, staring up at Imogen like a kicked puppy - how could she deny her anything? How could she not want to burn the world to see her smile again?
"I'm sorry," Laudna continued, her voice reduced to a hoarse whisper. "I'm... I'm being... Foolish, I-"
"No, you're not." Imogen shook her head again. "You're 𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘬, honey, and you're not used to it. Your body's fightin' off somethin', and it's using all its energy against it. That means it's workin' as it should!"
She moved a hand onto Laudna's shoulder.
"You're exhausted, and probably dehydrated, and definitely a bit delirious. You're not bein' foolish, I promise. This is all new and overwhelming, I, I get it, it's... It's a lot for you."
Laudna nodded wordlessly.
"But I'm here, okay? I'm here with you."
Another nod.
"Let's get you to bed, alright?"
"O-okay..."
She closed her eyes as Imogen wrapped her in her arms, humming softly. Her clothes were damp with fever sweat, and her whole body felt like a furnace in Imogen's arms as she clung to her, shivering. Laudna let herself be carried to bed, where she curled up into a tiny little ball under the blankets and fell asleep almost instantly. Good. She needed the rest. As quietly as she could, Imogen stepped out of the room and left the door ajar, then went over to the couch where she collapsed with a sigh.
"Fuck me, what do I do..." She said to herself, putting her head in her hands.
Imogen was not freaking out. She definitely wasn't. Why would she be freaking out? Because her girlfriend, whose immune system hadn't worked in thirty years and who was, by her own admission, very prone to illness beforehand, was sick?
Should she have done more? Should she have tried to get Laudna to take some medicine, tried to break the fever before letting her sleep, maybe even taken her to a doctor? Her symptoms were much worse than Imogen's had been; she tried to tell herself it was only because her girlfriend's body wasn't used to illness and her immune system overreacted, but what if this was something worse? What if she developed pneumonia, or some sort of infection? Were there any fatal illnesses that mimicked the symptoms of a common cold?
Okay, maybe she was freaking out a 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 bit.