Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sin still wasn’t used to a lot of things. Noise, cars, people, advertisements everywhere. She’d experienced it all before, but never for so long. Never anything permanent.

But Dinah had promised that Sin could live with her, even after they figured out what was happening.

Sin hadn’t fully followed what she meant by that. She’d been semi-possessed by Megaera but she was still alive. The conflict was passed.

Except Dinah was still on edge.

Sin put it out of her mind and went to get them all groceries with Cass. Her and Barda had agreed to stay and help her through the transition.

“I don’t like crowds either,” Cass said softly as they walked into the grocery store.

Cass grabbed a cart as Sin shook her head. “I can totally handle them, I swear. I just--”

Cass shrugged and winked at her. “It’s just a lot?”

Sin’s shoulders drooped. “Yeah. That’s about right.”

These people should be bowing down in reverence of our power. Megeara told Sin as Cass guided them over to a section of the store helpfully labeled ‘produce’ by a sign with bold letters.

“Absolutely not,” Sin hissed. People who didn’t pay her any mind were bad enough.

Cass eyed her but didn’t push it as she went about selecting bell peppers. Barda was cooking dinner and Dinah had promised to supervise. Egg bites with sausage and bell peppers was going to be a side to the dinner Barda was planning.

But we are more powerful than these pathetic beings.

Sin didn’t think the people around her were pathetic. Sheltered and a bit naive, maybe, but not pathetic. 

“You promised me control. I want to not do that, we’re not doing that.”

Megaera hissed but her attempts at convincing Sin died off.

Sin forced a smile as they moved over to the apples. Cass returned it and on her face it looked a lot more natural.

“Honey crisp or cosmic crisp?” Cass asked, examining the apples.

“What’s the difference?” Sin asked, a little lost.

At the same time, Megaera decided to add her two cents. Cosmic crisp. Cosmic implies that it is more powerful. No, wait, I want to try them all.

Cass eyed her for a moment before she started bagging up both varieties. “You’ll learn.”

Sin hesitated a moment, looking at the other apples. “What about the other ones?”

Cass paused. “Barda and I both like crisp apples.” Then she started a third bag with one of every other variety. Sugarbees, pink ladies, fuji, gala, and so forth.

Megaera was particularly interested in the green one. ‘Granny Smith.’

She made sure Sin knew that they were going to taste that one first.

Sin sighed. “Fine, sure, whatever.” It wasn’t like she needed to try one or the other first and it wasn’t something she felt like fighting.

“You speak to her externally?” Cass asked as they drifted in the direction of some bananas.

Sin shrugged. Somewhat embarrassed to hear that Cass apparently knew exactly what was going on. “I-- I guess. I don’t really know how to just-- think at her?”

Cass hummed as she weighed two different bunches in her hands. “I know someone. I’ll ask him.”

“You know someone else who has a god inside them? That sucks.”

Cass shook her head with a smile. “Not just like you. Not a god, but not alone either. It’s… common.”

Sin jerked her head around to stare at Cass where the older girl was putting the bunch she’d decided on in the cart. “This happens to other people?”

Cass shrugged again. “Not just like you, but more people--” she paused, clawing lightly at the air-- “more people shift between other selves than they admit.”

“Wait, wait, wait. How many are we talking?”

Cass pursed her lips. “Don’t know. You could ask him?”

“Who’s him?” Sin asked, jogging so she was walking backwards in front of the cart. 

Cass shook her head. “I’ll ask him first.”

Sin pouted, but after a moment of consideration she subsided. She didn’t really want the Birds of Prey going around and telling people about her condition. She supposed this mystery boy felt the same.

“Cabbage,” Cass intoned, gesturing with her hand just in time for Sin to stop walking before she tripped over the edge of the fridge.

Sin reached up and passed Cass the big green cabbage she’d pointed at. Cass took it with a smile and then she grabbed some of the lettuce sitting next to it.

“”Watermelon?” Cass asked as they kept pushing the cart.

Sin’s mouth watered a little. “Yes please.”

Yes, yes, we shall try another thing and I shall get to know the taste of yet another food.

Sin smiled a little. She still didn’t like Megaera, but it was a little hard to be angry about the god’s childlike excitement over the prospect of getting to eat watermelon.

Cass was in the middle of placing a watermelon that she’d said was ‘not too watery’ in the cart when a group of teenage boys approached them.

“Hey, my friend wants your number,” the leader of the group said, gesturing at one of his friends whose hair was dyed blonde. Said boy began spluttering.

Sin glanced at Cass to see that she was on higher alert than she had been, but that she wasn’t the kind of tense that meant she was expecting a fight.

Sin glanced back at the boys. “Sorry, I don’t have a number.” Even if she did, she wouldn’t give it to these boys, but she had enough tact to know saying that was a bad idea. 

“Bullshit, common, just give us the number. You’ll never know unless you give him a chance”

Cass had come around the cart so she was standing behind Sin’s right shoulder. 

Can I make these ones bow? Megaera asked in response to Sin’s growing unease.

“No.” She said to both Megaera and the boys.

“Fucking bitch.” One of them - his head looked like a potato and what little of his hair wasn’t shaved was also dyed blonde - spat.

The ringleader scowled, turning his back to Sin. “Common guys, the whore isn’t worth it anyways.”

Sin scowled at their retreating backs and before she knew it, a viney thread was reaching out and smacking the one who’d done most of the talking on the back of his head.

“Did you just hit me!?” He demanded, whirling around and taking a step towards Sin. “You dumb fucking bitch, you’re going to regret that.”

Cass stepped forward so she was between Sin and the boys. They all stopped in their tracks. 

“We’re not scared of you,” Potato head snapped. He didn't sound sure.

Cass leaned forward as she glared at them, she seemed to loom over them despite all of them being taller than her. “Leave.”

That one word seemed to be enough, because the boys turned on their heels and tried to make a hasty retreat without compromising their imagined masculinity. There were several insults thrown their way.

Sin got the distinct impression that Megaera was sticking her tongue out after the boys.

Cass watched them go and when she was sure they were gone, she led Sin out of the produce section.

“I’m sorry,” Sin whispered. 

Cass reached out, slowly, giving Sin enough time to pull back. “They should be sorry.”

“I didn’t control her.”

Cass shook her head. “I will speak with her. After shopping.”

Sin bit her lip but let the topic lie.

They picked up the meat - sausage and beef - and made for the bakery section. Cass seemed intent on picking up a few loaves of bread, but she added a box of cookies to the cart when she noticed Sin staring at them.

“I thought I was being sneaky,” Sin groaned as Cass placed them in the cart with a smirk.

“You were,” Cass assured her. “But I’m better.”

Sin glowered half heartedly at her, but she offered Cass a shy smile at checkout. One that Cass returned with a beam.

They loaded their groceries into the back of Barabra’s car and Sin settled into the passengers seat, buckling in before Cass could prompt her to.

Cass settled into the driver's seat next to Sin, but didn’t put the key in the ignition. “Is it possible to speak with Megaera?”

Sin flinched, staring at her hands. But she focused on the feeling of making herself smaller, pushing backwards inside her own mind. Ceding control.

It was made easier by the eager way Megeara pushed forwards, always keen to have some control over Sin’s body.

…

Megaera smiled as her body solidified around her. Sensations were new and overwhelming and wonderful.

Then she looked over at where Black Bat was staring disapprovingly at her.

Megaera returned the look with a scowl. Who was this child to tell her how to behave?

“Why did you hit him?” Black Bat asked.

“He called me a whore.” Megaera wasn’t ever going to be with someone, but to imply disloyalty? It was an insult.

“What’s wrong with sex workers?” Black Bat asked, matter of fact.

Megaera scowled. “They lack loyalty.”

Black Bat shook her head. “To who?”

“They’re husbands!” Megaera shrieked.

“And if they have no husbands? Or they’re not a woman? Or they’re gay? Or their husbands are okay with it?”

Megaera gapped. “You-- you can’t just--”

Old hag. Cynthia grumbled. For all that she refused to think at Megaera when she had control, she was quite forceful when she didn’t.

“Better a sex worker than a boy like that.”

Megaera deflated. “But-- but--”

Black Bat shook her head again. “We are not the ones to make things physical.”

“I was defending us!” Did this little girl not get it? That kind of insult could mar Cynthia’s reputation, her social standing, her future! And by proxy, Megaera’s.

“You were not. They were leaving.”

“So? They were violent first! Do you think they were right?” 

She realized threads were erupting from her skin only when Cynthia demanded enough control to reel them back in.

“It was violence. It was wrong, they are wrong. You made it physical. We do not escalate.”

“What are you, afraid?” Megaera scoffed.

Black Bat leveled her with a withering look. “Not of them. We do not escalate because it is wrong. They were leaving.”

“They deserved retribution!”

“Yes,” Black Bat agreed. “It should not have come from you.”

“Why not?” She demanded, anger snapping under her skin.

“Oracle will handle it next time. Consequences is not the same as revenge. We do not do revenge.” Which was not an answer.

“It is very satisfying,” Megaera countered.

Black Bat pursed her lips. “For a moment. Then all it is… pain to yourself.”

“Maybe for you.”

Black Bat frowned at her. “Do not do it again. Sin may come back now.”

Megaera did not want to let go of this body, but she’d promised and Cynthia was eager to return.

Her body returned to the girl.

Chapter Text

“You’re Tim Drake.” Sin might have grown up under a rock, but she knew that much. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was being sat down across from him.

“You’re close. Legally it’s Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne, but I’m Robin, they/them, nice to meet you.”

She took the outstretched hand hesitantly. “Sin. She/her.”

They shook it firmly. They weren’t that much older than her, if she was remembering correctly.

“So, Cass said you wanted to talk to someone about being a system.” They paused, gaze flicking over to where Dinah was sitting. “She also said that nothing I say leaves this room.”

“Why?” Sin challenged.

Robin’s gaze swung back to her. “Other than Cass, our team, and one of our brothers, no one knows about us.”

“Oh.” Sin glanced down. “You should know I’m not really a system. I don’t-- really know what that is, but she said we - me and Megaera, I mean - we’re-- different.”

Robin leaned back in their chair. “Okay, sure, tell me more about that?”

“I got possessed by an ancient god who wanted my body for a host and now we’re sharing?”

“And they’re distinct from you?”

“Yeah, and she’s annoying about it.”

I am not annoying, Megaera informed Sin snootily.

Robin snorted. “Tell me about it. The other day, Bird - one of ours - decided to sing Baby Shark on repeat for three hours and there was no shutting her up.”

“That sounds… rough?”

Robin shrugged. “Better than her suggesting we hug a villain to get them to ‘calm down and be rational’ again.”

“Has that ever worked?” Sin asked, peering at Robin as though she could peel back the layers and see this ‘Bird’ person.

Robin tched. “I did. Once. But only because it was Ivy and only because she was hella fucking confused.”

Sin nodded, she supposed being randomly hugged by an opponent during a fight would throw her off a bit.

“Megaera… she tends to want-- she keeps telling me I should use her powers to take over people. I don’t think I want that.”

Robin nodded. “Okay, how good is your communication right now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, when we first figured shit out, we could barely hear impressions of each other's feelings unless we were both really close to front. Control, I mean. These days, we can usually talk to each other from across our internal space.”

“Um… internal space?”

“Don’t-- worry about it. Given your not like us - our brain’s a little fucked up - it might not even be possible, but people generally don’t go around starting with them anyways.”

“Right. Communication. Uh… She can do this thing where she like-- thinks at me? And I can hear her, but I don’t really know how to answer her without talking out loud. Sometimes she shows up in my hair, too”

You’re plenty loud when I’m in control, Megaera grumbled.

“She says I think pretty loud when I’m not in-- in control. But that doesn’t happen often, so don’t worry.”

Robin tilted their head at her. “Why would I be worried?”

“Because she’s-- she’s--” planning on taking over the world? But no, she wasn’t. Dangerous? So was Sin. “I mean, if she’d won, she would have destroyed Themyscira.”

“But she didn’t win,” Dinah cut in. “She said she was going to look out for you from now on because you’re connected.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

Robin waved her off and shook his head. “Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry about it, JJ’s just thinking too hard.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“So, you’re telling me that Megaera, you said her name was? You’re telling me that she’s basically decided to become a protector? She wants to make sure you're okay and has she set aside her own goals to achieve this?”

I have achieved my goals, I wish for no more.

“That’s really funny coming from the god who keeps trying to convince me to subjugate people to her will,” Sin told her flatly.

Robin pursed their lips and didn’t say anything.

Power is good for you, Megaera countered.

Sin shuddered. “I don’t want it.”

And yet you longed for more.

“I wanted more freedom and action and a chance to do something with my life. I didn’t want power.”

Sin didn’t have to glance over at Dinah to know there were worry lines around her eyes. Sin purposefully didn’t look.

With power comes safety and the knowledge that you can never be locked away.

“You had Wonder Woman under your control and you’re still mostly locked away."

But I am free and I have a body and I get to taste watermelon and granny smith and feel the wind on my face. I am free. And you’re no longer in Bhutan.

Sin looked down. It wasn’t like Megaera was wrong, but she also didn’t want to think about it.

“You don’t care about anyone but yourself and by extension me,” Sin whispered, voice cracking a little bit.

That is not true!

Sin was done listening to her. She looked back up so she was facing Robin. “She wants power, I don’t. What do you suggest?”

“There are a few types of power and they’re not all bad. Subjugation isn’t acceptable for sure, but-- actually wait, did you get any meta powers from her? You’re hair became greener when you were talking to her.”

“I don’t think they’re meta powers, but--”

Not meta powers! 

“Yeah. They’re-- they’re technically like these threads that connect to every human who’s ever existed, but they manifest more like vines.”

“Right, cool. You could work on channeling that power so you know how to use it to defend the people you care about.”

“Like who? She doesn’t like people,” Sin despaired.

Dinah. Dinah, Dinah, Dinah. 

Sin startled. “Dinah…?”

She cares for you and thus she cares for me. It is only right for a god to follow its worshipers in return.

Sin decided she didn’t want to try and follow that logic and just acquiesced.

“I guess… we’re in agreement. We’d protect Dinah.”

Robin clapped their hands. “Great! Speaking from having someone vaguely villainous and definitely not people friendly myself - shut up JJ, I’m talking about Jackson - the best thing to do is to find some common goals. You want to protect Dinah, you want to protect each other, you want…?”

“I want to be a hero like Dinah.”

“And what does Megaera want?”

Power! Control!

“I think… I think she really just-- I think she really wants to-- to be able to-- to have a body and to not be locked away.”

“Yeah, that tracks. Any way for you to kick her out?”

Sin ignored the foreign spike of panic in her chest and the familiar swell of anger as she shook her head. “No.”

“Right, then, goal achieved. Find something to share a goal over.”

“But it’s my body!” She snapped.

Robin pursed their lips. “True. But… It's also her body now too. And you have got to learn to live with that, or things will never get better.”

“But--”

“No buts. It might be fair, but you will make things worse if you keep trying to fight a piece of your own mind. Even if it’s grafted on in your case. Do you know how long it took Tim to admit that I wasn’t just his ‘imaginary friend?’ It sucked, treating people that way sucks.”

“Robin--” Dinah began warningly.

Robin cut her off with a violent shake of their head. “No. You’re here to comfort her, to make it all feel better even when it feels like her world is crashing down around her. I’m here to make sure she accepts that this is actually fucking happening and she does have to live with it.”

“How did you learn to live with it?”

“A lot of years. It gets better. Talk to each other.”

“I’m not good at this. I’m-- I’m so scared, that I’m going to become more Megaera than-- than Sin.” And it had resulted in dinosaurs.

Robin hummed. “No one’s good at anything when they start. Hate to say it, but it really does come down to practice. As for being more one person than the other, sure, that happens. But that doesn’t make it a bad thing. And from what I’ve seen, it sounds like you’re the host. You’re the one who handles long days and she’s the one who handles important, specific issues.  If anything, that worry should be hers.”

“Oh.”

I do not mind, so long as I am myself and I am free of that infernal urn.

“She-- she said she’s okay if I take more time.”

Robin shrugged. “Well than that works out, take some time, figure things out. It’s okay to not have all the answers. It took us months to even accept that there was more than one of us up here, and over a year to talk to each other with any kind of ease. You’re already leagues ahead of us. Don’t worry so much.”

Sin bit her lip. “Yeah. Okay.”

They slid a piece of paper across the table to her. “This is our phone number. Well, one of them. If you have questions, reach out. If the answer sounds like it came from an eight year old, wait a while and you’ll get a better one.”

Sin clutched the little slip of paper to her chest. “Right. I-- thank you.”

Robin nodded and stood up. “Now, JJ’s on my ass about a case file he wanted to pick Babs’ brain about, you cool if I head out?”

Sin nodded distantly. “Yeah, yeah. I think I am.”

“Sin?” Dinah asked after the door closed behind Robin.

“I-- I think--” Sin turned to Dinah. “Can we get me a phone?”

Dinah smiled at her. “You got it.”

Sin smiled at her. It was small and tentative, but it was tinged with more hope than she’d been feeling. “I think things are going to be okay.”

She thought about it for a moment and then, with a grin stretch wide across her face, added. “Definitely a better way to get someone’s number.”

It didn’t matter much that they practiced co-existence, apparently. Dinah still only wanted them as backup. 

She wanted them to slow down and keep waiting and learning and not-- not helping.

In the end, they were the ones who showed up with Cela.

Chapter Text

The practice was been paying off big time. 

JJ - who had been the one to answer Sin’s text asking about sharing control - had explained that it was possible, but they often found it difficult to maintain.

For them it wasn’t quite… the same. Like two hands on the steering wheel, JJ had said. For Sin and Megaera it felt more like-- like an old wagon train. The driver was in control of the wagon, but there was a person riding to their right holding a shotgun and ready to defend.

It was like-- like Sin controlled the punches and kicks and where they went and Megaera listened and paid attention and struck out with tendrils when the time was right. She augmented Sin’s strength. She held the shotgun while Sin drove.

Dinah seemed to agree. Both that Sin’s hand to hand had improved somewhat - not that she was an incompetent fighter, she was just out of practice, however frustrating that may be - and their co-control was improving at a steady pace. 

Dinah agreed, it was time to start sparring with real powers.

Dinah beat them, even after they had pinned her to a wall, but Sin was still relaxing into it. 

She felt-- she felt alive, and right, and like the world was finally settling into place. It felt exhilarating.

“I think I hate the tiny screams more,” Sin admitted to Megaera when they paused to take a break from sparring.

“Yes, they’re more like tiny burning lasers instead of broad punches,” Megaera agreed, still in enough to control to share access to the mouth with Sin.

“Or maybe you’ve just not had enough big sonics to know better?” Dinah challenged, evidently having been listening in on their conversation. “We can fix that when I get back.”

“Now look what you did,” Sin grumbled as they left the training deck.

“Me!? It was you!”

Sin scoffed as they made their way to the game room where Cass was thoroughly kicking Barda’s ass.

And then Barbara called for them and everything went to shit.

“--and a secondary strike team headed for Gotham after two confirmed sightings of the Chosen One. She is back with the Canary in Gotham, we’re sure. This is our best chance--” the audio returned to static.

Sin felt the dread pooling in her stomach like a lead weight.

Chosen one!? Megaera snapped. Chosen one!? You are my chosen one, they cannot have you.

Sin squeezed her eyes shut and sent waves of what little calm she could find Megaera’s way, hoping to placate the god.

When she suggested going to face the League alone, Megaera agreed. No one else would be in danger, none of their birds, and Megaera was more than capable of defending Cynthia, she would not let anything happen to her host.

She did not like the idea of Dinah coming along any more than Sin did, but in the end, they were both convinced to allow for her to join them in making the assassins back off.

I shall just have to protect her too. Megaera said primly when Sin sent a wave of question her way.

The emotions were helpful for communicating, and Tim - the one who had answered that question - said that it was a good first step to communication.

There was a fight and assassins and they didn't even get to eat dinner and Sin was focusing so hard on being good enough that she was shutting Megaera out.

She didn’t even realize what she was doing. It didn’t occur to her that there were no thready vines jumping into action.

And then there was a crack and Dinah was shot and bleeding and-- and she-- she-- she…

…

Cynthia was screaming. And screaming and screaming and screaming. And Megaera was in control and Dinah was bleeding.

“What have you done!?” She shrieked. “If you’ve killed her, you die!” She should kill them-- she should kill them all. They threatened her, they shot Dinah, they wanted her chosen one.

No. Cynthia’s voice was small and scared and still lost in the throws of her screams, but-- but if Cynthia bade her stay her hand, she would. For now.

With a scream she expelled them from the house. Nonlethally, but it wasn’t her fault if they didn’t get up.

“League of Shadows…” Her voice rang through the hallowed out remains of the safehouse. “Or ‘Sindicate.” Or whatever dumb name your splinter cell calls itself these days. Hear us now, once and for all. You will never have us.”

She rose through the roof on the vines of life she no longer bothered to precisely control. “Never. We will break upon you like endless waves if ever you try this again. Just because we are party hero, do not assume we will not revel in unraveling each and every one of you down to your finest and most excruciating threads.” 

Her voice echoed around the trees, louder than thunder. “Go now and take your wounded with you. If we lay eyes on you again, that day will be your last.”

The assassins ran.

Dinah was okay.

Dinah was okay. She was okay, she was okay, she was okay. Relief ran through Sin like a drum, like of her heart, like she needed it to live.

For once, Megaera had no commentary. Her emotions sang in unison with Dinah’s.

When Dinah asked Sin if it was her or Megaera who’d exploded on the assassins, Sin hadn’t known how to explain that it was Megaera.

That Megaera had been the one to feel that pulsing anger, that rage and urge to destroy and protect. Just as she had.

She didn’t know-- she didn’t know if those were Megaera’s emotions, or her own. If they didn’t belong to the god… what of the god was bleeding into her?

So she just told Dinah she didn’t know who had responded to the bullet.

All the while, she couldn’t shake the creeping feeling that the assassins had been happy to see Megaera. Like maybe her actions were playing right into what they wanted from their chosen one.

I will not allow them to take us, Megaera promised.

It was a cold comfort and Sin wished it could do more.

Chapter Text

Meg, now! Sin was grateful for the practice she’d been putting into internal communication, because otherwise her shouting would have warned Cass to the incoming vine, sneaking up from behind her.

Cass saw the vine coming from the periphery of her vision and dodged to the side, effectively sidestepping it. But in doing so, she’d left herself open to attack.

Sin’s fist slammed into her side, augmented by Meg’s strength. 

In the end, Cass won the fight, because of course she did. But Sin made it hurt. Made it a victory she’d had to actually fight for.

Your communication has improved greatly, Cynthia, Meg told her as they walked out of the training deck. Sin twinged slightly, but kept any emotion pressed carefully into her own self.

Doesn’t feel like it, she grumbled, rubbing at the forming bruises on her shins.

To feel pain is to feel the glory of life, Cynthia, Meg marveled.

Sin tried to shove down the instinctive discomfort that came with the name like she always did, but coming so quickly after its first use, Meg must have felt something.

The god didn’t respond to the feeling so much with words as with a probing curiosity, brushing against Sin’s discomfort.

Sin shook her head lightly, forgetting that she was trying to practice her covert communication. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I will worry if I want,” Meg chided, apparently abandoning their external silence with Sin.

Sin sighed. “There’s nothing you can do about it.” Which wasn’t totally true but--

“I can sense your lies, Cynthia.”

This time Sin’s cringed a bit physically and she felt Meg’s worry spike.

Sin’s shoulders sagged as she trudged into the game room. Barda was trying to engage John Constantine in a video game, but the man seemed utterly lost.

You don’t do nicknames and I’m not going to ask you to, so don’t worry about, okay? It was hard enough to lay awake and think of all the ways she’d never felt quite right without a god poking her nose into Sin’s business.

Cynth-- Child of this Body, Chosen One of Mine. Please explain.

Sin swallowed, settling on the couch next to Barda, who immediately shifted so she had enough room. I just-- I don’t like Cynthia. It’s not-- it’s not something to worry about.

Your discomfort is important, Meg pushed.

Sin leaned her head against Barda’s upper arm. 

They’d talked about it, when Sin asked if Meg’s refusal to use nicknames meant she didn’t want one.

Meg had explained that she had no qualms with mortals using nicknames, even for her, but that she preferred not to. Names held meaning.

Which was part of the problem with Cynthia. 

I think-- you say you use names to better encompass a person. Cynthia… I-- I think I think she represents a piece of myself that I don’t like.

Explain, Meg demanded as Barda began shouting at John.

The only people who’ve ever-- not ever used Cynthia, but… used it for me all the time, are the kinds of people who see-- who see a chosen one in me. Who see a tool or a weapon. And I just-- hate it.

You are no weapon, Meg informed her huffily.

That’s what you saw me as. Sin wasn’t sure if she’d actually projected the thought or not, but the quick recoil she felt meant that it had probably gotten through.

I-- Meg poked at Sin from where she’d mentally curled in on herself. Perhaps my actions were hasty and short-sighted. I do not regret them, but neither do I regret you. 

Sin’s smile was melancholy as she watched John get dragged off screen by Barda’s avatar.

Thanks, Meg.

The phantom feeling of vines wrapping around her was odd and new but it wasn’t… it wasn’t bad.

So, you prefer Sin. Cynthia is not your name?

Sin snorted softly. Sin’s just a nickname of Cynthia though, isn’t it?

Does Cynthia feel like you? You referred to the name as though it were another person earlier.

Sin tensed slightly and in response Barda wrapped an arm around her shoulders, dragging her that much closer, without pausing in her beration of John’s apparent lack of skill.

She waited what felt like minutes to work up the courage to answer, to force the word across the void between their minds. 

No.

Megaera was exploring the mall with Cassandra. 

She hadn’t thought she liked girl, but in the end, her simple acceptance of Megaera’s existence and the introduction of Timothy was enough to win her over.

It took some concentration to remain human in appearance while Sin was not in the drivers seat, but it was worth it to not deal with the stares.

If she could not bend them to her will, she did not want random people’s attention.

Cassandra was admiring a black shirt with black mesh sleeves and gold detailing when Megaera saw it.

It was a shirt. A white shirt made of light linen with lots of puff and pleating. Best of all, there were green vines embroidered along the hems of the shirt.

Sin’s attention was caught by the sudden surge of interest. 

That’s the shirt you’re interested in? Sin asked skeptically.

I think it’s lovely.

You should get it then, Sin told her.

You think it’s ugly.

No, it’s just not…. My style. You should get it.

Megaera hummed, unsure if she should listen to Sin. Moments later, Cassandra plucked it off the rack and draped it over her arm on top of the black shirt she’d been looking at.

She winked at Megaera. “Your fashion.”

Megaera smiled back at her and didn’t bother protesting. She did like the shirt.

Chapter Text

“Stay close, Sin.” Cass warned as they descended into the sewers.

Sin swallowed, reaching out so she could feel Megaera, just beneath her skin. “Can you… can you call me Megaera when I’m on a mission? It’s a… it’s a thing we’re trying, Megaera and me.”

Cass glanced back at them, expression hard to read under her mask, before she went back to focusing on the tunnel ahead of them. “Sure.”

Easy as that. Easy as asking.

“It will hurt less if you stop holding on so tight… Both of you.”

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Meg’s thoughts repeated through Sin’s mind like a drumbeat. Like a heartbeat telling her to move. But she couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. All she could do was hold on.

“Stop fighting me!” Golden Lion demanded, like he was someone either of them would listen to. Like Sin would be willing to risk losing Meg, who was no longer a heartbeat beneath her skin.

Cass threw Velvet Tiger into Golden Lion and the pain and the emptiness and the void expanding between them stopped.

It stopped and slowly Meg began to settle back beneath their skin.

Still attached, still with Sin. Sin hadn’t lost her.

Sin could, however, still feel the fluttering anxiety and pounding terror that came from the god, slowly returning to its mortal shell.

“S-- Megaera… you all right?” Cass asked as she rushed to their side.

“... yes.” They answered together. Even though Sin still felt like she would shake apart and Meg was pressing closer like she was trying to spool around Sin’s bones. Cass began herding them out of the sewers as she threw smoke bombs at the feline pair who were slowly coming to their senses.

Cass called for an extraction as soon as they hit topside.

Megaera didn’t want to go back out. Didn’t want to risk facing that-- that thing that could have done what she’d thought was impossible

It had hurt, like ripping off limb after limb, life after life. But Sin was her chosen and Barda was their friend and they had taken her.

So Megaera slowly unspooled from where she’d wrapped herself around Sin’s soul and instead of protesting, promised she’d be right by Sin’s side and that she’d fight anyone who tried to separate them.

Trust me, Megaera pleaded as Sin hesitated to give her control. 

And Sin did, so Megaera surfaced, her skin real again.

“I will not let anything happen to you,” She promised the group. Dinah, their sister. Cassandra, their kind friend. Sin, her chosen.

She smiled as she picked the Mega-rod up, even as the whispers began their arduous chant.

“I’ve been wanting to try this since I first touched the thing,” She told the group as she pulled the rod from the bag in Cassandra’s hands.

The feeling of opening a portal was exhilarating. An opening to another place. The power that surged beneath their skin. The knowledge that nothing and no one could hurt them, could tear them to pieces. Not with this conduit in their hands.

She almost didn’t give it back.

That-- that thing, that person, that villain had Barda and Sin wanted to throw up.

That was what she would have become if things hadn’t been different.

A mindless body piloted by-- by someone else. 

And it had Barda. 

We will get her back, Meg promised. Her revolution bubbled up behind their lips as surly as Sin’s. The shame was hers though, she’d been the monster, once.

Sin reached out experimentally to see if she could brush phantom hands along Meg’s vines in a quiet comfort. An expression of forgiveness even as they ran from that thing and those people.

“We’ll get them all back,” Sin promised as they watched their home explode.

Waiting was the hardest part.

“Oracle is very clever and Barda is as strong as they come, it will be okay,” Meg murmured to Sin in the arcade.

“Thank you,” Sin whispered, even as she felt the curling doubt that permeated their mind.

“It will be okay,” Sin repeated to herself as they slipped into the sewers.

Meg’s vines wrapped around her chest as a shield against the world.

An image of Sin and Megaera, slowly being separated one inch at a time appeared on the screen and Megaera felt like she was going to vomit. An entirely human sensation.

“What Golden Lion was going to us? It… it felt like he was trying to separate us.”

It had been awful. The pain hadn’t been fun, but the fear of loss had been worse. There’d been a time, she knew, where freedom from Megaera would have felt like a miracle to Sin, now the idea made their stomach churn.

“Based on the information Cela brought us, I suspect that’s exactly what he was trying to do,” Barbara said, like it didn’t confirm all their worst fears.

“To what end?” Megaera demanded.

“Unclear. Perhaps he wants to re-bind you to something, Megaera. Or perhaps he wants you to live in him, maybe thinks he can control you? Or maybe he just wants to kill Sin and doesn’t care what happens to you.”

Never, Megaera snarled, making sure Sin heard it as she pulled the girl's mind closer to her own. You are my chosen. And her anchor to the world.

“Based on what I found and what I knew of him in my life, I’d guess he wants to bind Megaera to him. The man loves power.”

That was a bleak way to see one's father, though Megaera could understand Celaeno’s point of view all too well.

“He thinks he can control me?” Megaera snorted even as she tugged on her bond to Sin. Sin tugged on it just as hard. “Pretty brazen.”

And it was. Because Sin was hers and she was Sin’s to use. Not some power hungry jackass.

Fighting a New God was an exercise in survival, but it was worth it. Because in the end they had Barda.

Barda. Barda it was Barda and she was angry but she was Barda and she wasn’t angry at them.

Sin couldn’t breathe for a moment with the wave of relief that filled her lungs with something that wasn’t quite air.

They hadn’t won, but they had Barda and Oracle and the rest of the Birds and was all they really needed for it to feel like some kind of victory.

And they had that staff, the one that had threatened them. It would never threaten them again. They were one, they were whole.