Chapter Text
Dylan was young and pretty. When she was three, she was adopted by TK and Carlos, growing up with nothing but love and compliments.
Her older brother, Jonah, was and will always be her best friend. He was only older by six years but constantly took care of her like she was younger than she was.
She also grew up surrounded by loads of friends, whether they were from school or her dad’s colleagues’ children. That was until eighth grade.
Eighth grade was different; the people in her classes—ones she grew up with—were meaner now. She had lost a lot of friends. During lunch break she sat with people who barely even acknowledged her existence.
She hated that all her favourite friends went to different schools.
On the rare occasion she got invited to hang out with them outside of school hours, they would all wear matching outfits, not telling Dylan to wear the same. She was constantly upset or confused, wondering why she hadn’t been told. After they hung out, she would buy clothes that looked like theirs, even though they made her feel uncomfortable.
The young girl hated the way tight clothes sat on her, and she hated crop tops—but that was all the other girls her age wore. When she was at home, she would constantly wear sweatpants or a T-shirt that had belonged to one of her dads.
Even when she was wearing clothes she preferred, she would turn to the side and stare into the mirror, sucking in her stomach so it would appear skinnier. She was never fat, though.
She was currently sat on her brother’s bed; he was sitting in it. “Jonah, I know it’s my fault, but I’ve spent my allowance—could you please buy me this?” Her phone was being pushed towards his face, displaying a couple of new makeup products.
“That's expensive. Why do you even want that? You barely wear makeup.” Jonah questions, “Does TK and Papa let you?”
Dylan nods quickly, she hadn’t been allowed makeup for the longest time. It took a lot of convincing from her side; she was told she was too young and didn’t need it. Dylan did not believe that.
“Yeah, Dad and Papa let me. Also I wear make up all the time now.” A smile spread across her face as she pleads for him to buy her it. He nods and asks for the link.
Guilt settled in her stomach once she realised it was quite expensive, normally she would get the cheaper stuff, but her friends had told her this would make her prettier. She knew it wasn’t beyond expensive, but it wasn’t cheap.
Her brother buys it anyway; he doesn’t really mind. Dylan thanks him and gives him a hug. Declaring he’s the best older brother.
TK’s voice echoes from downstairs, signalling it’s time for dinner. The two siblings walk downstairs and into the dining room, where their youngest sister, Bella, already sat.
“Jojo! I helped daddy make the food!” Bella speaks loudly as everyone, minus Carlos, who was still on shift, sat down.
TK is plating up everyone’s food when he gets to Dylan, “Dad, I only want a little; I’m not that hungry.” She speaks.
He raises an eyebrow. “Are you feeling well, sweets?” He asks, earning a smile and a nod in return.
He plates up everyone’s dinner, and they all start to eat. Thoughtless chatter fills the room, mostly Bella spitting out facts.
Dylan’s quiet; she’s thinking about how her friends had been talking about a beach day happening soon. Honestly, she didn’t really want to go, wearing a bikini in front of girls who were way skinnier? That felt like an embarrassment ritual. If she doesn’t go, that would make for a perfect excuse for them to all talk about her.
“Dyl’, why are you in pyjamas? It’s nowhere near bedtime yet.” TK asks, slightly smiling.
She shrugs; she wouldn’t tell him the proper answer.
Whilst everyone else eats desserts she goes back up to her room. Choosing to skip dessert. Scrolling on Instagram she sees that her ‘friend group’ have been hanging out without her, that made her upset. She had wondered many times why they didn’t invite her; was she not cool enough? Was she not funny enough? Was she too ugly for their photos?
She never really wanted the answer. No matter how many times she wondered.
Her body collapsed onto her bed; she decided to sleep. Knowing that when she slept, she wouldn’t have to deal with the thoughts that filled her head.
It was only seven at night, but she was already asleep.
The next morning she woke up, still equally as tired as she was the day before. No matter how much she slept, the tired, sinking feeling wouldn’t go away.
Her legs forced themselves out of bed; she grabbed a pair of jeans, the same pair a friend of hers had worn the previous week, and a cropped tank top.
She stares into the mirror, her eyes trailing up and down her body. Silently judging. The shirt was tight, revealing the shape of her stomach slightly.
The light from the vanity hurts her head, she does a bit of makeup, not a full face because she still wasn’t allowed to do that. Dylan brushes her hair, deciding to leave it down.
Dylan stares at herself in the mirror. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears, because she believed she was so ugly.
She lightly held her fingers to her eye calming the tears, before she brushes her teeth, and walks downstairs. Noise was everywhere downstairs: her dad using the stove, Bella talking to her papa.
“Hey, Mija,” Carlos speaks, kissing her head. “How was work yesterday?” She asks, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and taking a bite of it.
“It was good.” He answers before Bella squeals, “Did you catch all the bad guys?” Which makes Carlos nod and laugh.
Dylan puts on her shoes; they were old Converse which definitely needed replaced. Jonah walks downstairs and says goodbye to Dylan.
She leaves the house quickly, ignoring how her dad asks if she wants bacon.
Hurriedly she walks towards the school; it was about a twenty- or thirty-minute walk. Often her dads would just drive her, but she wanted to leave quickly before they made her eat something more than an apple.
The beach day had been agreed; tomorrow after school the group of young girls would go to the beach. It hadn’t been decided yet if boys were going to be invited.
Dylan decided she would eat less than normal just so her stomach would appear a slight bit flatter.
Later in the day the girls were all talking about dieting; Maisie, the ‘leader’ of the friend group, had told everyone if they didn’t want to diet, they could just vomit. Dylan had heard about that before, but she’d never tried it.
During this conversation at least every girl, minus Dylan, had been told they really didn’t need to diet. She never knew if she hadn’t been told because she was fat, or because the others ignored her.
A sharp chime echoed throughout the cafeteria and halls of the school. Lunchtime was over. The girls parted and made their separate ways to class. Her afternoon classes sucked, Chemistry and English. The only good part about chemistry was that she sat next to a boy who talked to anyone, so she didn’t feel alone. Or out of place.
Eli, the boy beside her, spoke, “I saw your dad on the news; he’s a ranger, right?”
Dylan nods. “Yeah, he is.” She smiles.
“That’s really cool.” Eli responds, whilst the girl notes something in her book. The two talk back and forth throughout the whole lesson. They also laughed a lot, which almost got the pair sent out.
Luckily, Eli was also in her English class, so she had someone to talk to because he was only a couple of seats away.
When class ended, the two also left school together before they went their separate ways. Dylan and he used to talk occasionally, or it was more him talking to her, but today was really good, and they both talked a lot.
Her papa was parked in the parking lot, when she hopped into the car, her papa spoke, “Who’s that?” He asked.
“His name is Eli; he’s in my chemistry class. He usually talks to me a bit but we talked a lot today.” Dylan smiles.
“Is he a potential crush?” Papa asks. Which is immediately followed by a shake of the head.
The girl had hoped at some point her papa would stop being embarrassing. It never came.
Carlos laughs, “You’re blushing, Mija.” He laughs. Her face goes red again, out of embarrassment. This causes another laugh to leave the older man’s mouth. “I’ll be quiet.” His hands flying up in surrender.
Dinner was uneventful, Jonah talked about his job, Bella talked about school. Dylan didn’t talk about anything in particular, only speaking in addition to her family’s words. She had eaten a biggish serving of her dad’s spaghetti; it was really good, so she couldn’t help herself from finishing it.
When everyone was excused, she walked upstairs, remembering what Maisie had talked about earlier, vomiting.
She hadn’t believed it was a necessarily good idea, but it could help. Making sure everyone was either downstairs or cuddled up in their room, her feet carried her to the bathroom. The door clicked as it was shut and locked.
Getting on the floor beside the toilet was making her feel gross and sweaty, she couldn’t help herself though. Roughly she pushed her hair behind her ears and leaned over the toilet bowl.
Dylan had her two fingers, the two closest to her thumb sticking up. Before she knew it, she was pushing them towards the back of her throat.
Repeated gags came from her mouth before vomit eventually came up. She quickly flushed the toilet before the smell could hit badly. Although the whole thing was disgusting, and she hated it. Something made it feel really good.
Carefully she washed her hand making sure the smell, feeling and stickiness of it all—went away.
Tucking herself back in bed, she looked at the group chat; the girls were discussing what bikinis they were going to wear. Dylan looked over it, making a mental reminder to ask her dad or Papa to pick up a similar one from the store tomorrow.
Later her dad came up to her room, he always did it before bed. “Hey, baby.” He says, already sitting down on the bed.
“Hey, Dad.” She says, sitting up.
He looks over her face. “You’re so beautiful.” His voice is soft. It sounds stupid, but for a moment Dylan believes he can see into her brain. “You still haven’t washed your face?” His hand coming to pat her cheek.
She laughs, it was a stupid thing he was asking about because she wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. Not that he knew that. Her mind was occupied with everything from earlier and everything that’s going to come.
Quickly she stands up, goes to the bathroom, and washes her face. When she gets back to her room, her dad is still sat on the bed; this time he’s giggling.
It was such a Dylan thing to try and fix something someone had pointed out, and she did it as quickly as she could. She stayed up talking to her dad, him asking about how she’s been recently, because she’s ’been quiet’.
Soon after he brings up the guy, Papa must’ve already told him about that. She confirms it’s fully platonic, that they’re just friends or acquaintances. He nods in response, with his teasing smiling face on full display.
He makes her go to sleep.
The last thoughts that filled her head as she watched her dad leave the room were ‘What would he say about Dylan’s brain?’