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Hermione posed the all-too insensitive question to the group at large & Alice snuggled closer to FP, the security of her husband's arms enough to ensure that she wasn't going to be the one who caused a scene; Alice had a great deal many regrets that she been forced to come to terms with over the course of her life, but couldn't entirely bring herself to openly resent any of them; she'd been too young to have a child so when given the choice of being shipped away to a convent or having an abortion; she'd chosen the abortion; of course her first marriage to Hal was equal parts ill-advised & disastrous; but he had given her their daughters & she and FP were together now & Hal was Hermione's problem, so why did it matter – FP's fingers danced across her swollen middle as if to assure their unborn child that the question didn't refer to them, of course it didn't, Alice never makes mistakes – & she shifted somewhat so that she could give him a kiss on the lips, so content in the moment that she didn't notice Fred had opened his mouth.
"You want to know what my biggest regret is, what the worst mistake I've ever made was," Fred demanded in a harsher tone than the situation truly entailed in Alice's opinion, everyone in the room knew every aspect of Fred Andrews' unhealed trauma, because he inflicted said knowledge upon its occupants against their will; well, against Alice's will anyways; she cared little about things that Fred needed to direct toward a therapist; but judging by the expressions on his wife's face & those on Hal & Hermione's, even exhausted & pregnant Alice felt the need to pay close attention: Fred was red-faced & swaying as he took another gulp of his beverage – Alice would have cut him off ten drinks ago – and she leaned forward with what she hoped was an expression of concern & not amusement as he continued to speak, "going along with all of these lies – how can you sit here asking us the worst mistake we've ever made is when you're the one who convinced Hiram that Veronica was his daughter & not mine – and, as for you, Mary, everyone here should know that Archie is really Hal's."
Hal blanched & Alice rolled her eyes at his facial expression, it was almost comical that ever obsessed with the delusional concept of loyalty Fred had laid in Hermione's bed when she'd still been a Lodge & sired her child with her & to add in the fact that Archibald Andrews, the perennial thorn in her side was biologically Hal's, well, it certainly explained a lot about that & she couldn't help it, she dissolved into hysterical laughter, "Fred," she stammered, in an attempt to compose herself, "I had no idea you could keep such a juicy secret."