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I awoke to the sound of ringing in my audio receptors—slowly regaining my consciousness, I realized that I was splayed out on the cold, hard floor.
At first, I was confused, wondering why I was here.
Until it all subtly came crashing down—
I was a captain in one of the Armed Drone Forces—a robot army built by humans to do what they couldn't.
I looked around, tending to my surroundings carefully before realizing that I was currently in what seemed to look like a government building. The sight of several of my drone co-workers lying on the ground painted the scene of the desk-filled room, some already wide awake and some still unconscious. The latter happened to the human side, with them being confused just as the drones were.
“Is everyone alright?” I asked softly, still trying to figure out what had possibly happened in a short amount of time to make everyone unconscious.
“Uhh, N… a little help here?” A sheepish, high-pitched voice suddenly rose to my left—calling my name, sounding familiar yet so new to me.
I turned my head, and there lay a familiar small drone on the floor—it was Cyn! I recognized it almost instantly, even as my memories were hazy; she was my lieutenant and my most trusted companion.
As I rushed to her lying form, I swore I could see her eyes glimmer with relief and longing, looking as if she hadn't seen me for the past century. However, I brushed off the thought, thinking that she was always like that clingy, dramatic, precious thing that seemed to be begging for my attention. I reached out for a hand, and she took her dainty hand in mine—feeling so fragile that I could just accidentally crush it.
But I was determined not to let that happen.
But then, a small spark connected between our hands—and a sense of déjà vu washed through me, prompting me to recoil back my hand for a moment as I processed the sudden rush of thoughts that appeared in my artificial mind. 'Something wasn't quite right…,' I thought. I was so focused that I hadn't noticed Cyn’s upset expression, her head glancing downwards, and her smile slowly fading into nothingness—a terrible sight I thought I would never see.
My hands instinctively reached out to pat her head reassuringly, gently pulling her close against my metal frame. “Shh… It's okay,” I whispered. “I just… I don't know what happened; I'm sorry.” I paused for a brief moment, trying to choose the right words. “I guess I was overreacting; I wasn't trying to be mean—I would never!” As those words left my lips, the smaller girl looked up at me again, now smiling with renewed vigor—hope in her eyes as she accepted my embrace.
The others had already stood up, still a little dazed, but pretty much fine. I moved towards the windows, letting myself bask in the morning sunlight, and then looked down on the scenery of the city that surrounded us. They were pretty empty, with only several people wandering around the streets, looking just as confused as I was.
And the whole time, Cyn had her arms wrapped around my neck, pressing and rubbing her face against my chest—like a cat seeking attention from its owner. My free hand subconsciously raised and then patted her dainty head—feeling the soft, silky strands brush against my metallic fingers as I felt her arching into my touch. She was never this clingy as far as I remembered, and it made my heart melt a little—for she was my world, my little lieutenant, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
The day continued as normal, and as mysterious as the ‘sleeping’ incident, or whatever they called it, no one seemed to care, which seemed suspicious to me… The majority of the others—even Cyn—didn’t seem to bother and continued on with their lives, acting like it wasn't a big deal and even forgetting most of what happened that morning.
I might've done some research myself if it weren't for Cyn bothering me every second.
It feels like she's steering me away from something.
But I pushed those feelings down…
A week later, we had done everything that a drone could do—played games, trained, did yoga, had sleepovers, talked throughout the nights, etc. It seemed like it was about to get boring soon, but for Cyn, nothing ever got boring—she was always full of unexpected surprises and an unmatched mix of genius and obliviousness, maybe even curiosity.
She was a child after all.
Soon, months had already passed by, feeling like mere days in Cyn’s presence. There was little to no news until then—humanity’s first rover being sent to Venus for landing—was announced to the public. Apparently Mars wasn't enough for them.
When I turned this information towards my lieutenant—Cyn—she had a very strange reaction, her glowing eyes and expression contorted with complete shock—I could see her life flashing before her eyes, and then quickly hiding it behind a little smile and a cheerful remark.
“Oh, that's great! And I thought conquering a moon and two planets wasn't enough,” she said, while avoiding my worried gaze as I made my way towards her.
“Umm… Cyn? Is there something you need to talk about? You seem… nervous; it's not like you…” I replied, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.
She jumped suddenly, a shudder leaving her synthetic lips as she replied, “N-No, it's fine I was just surprised! I didn't think we would get here so fast!” The words stumbled out of her lips hastily, sounding so shaken up, so… unlike her. I could tell something was wrong.
And when I tried to talk, I was stopped by her index finger against my lips, supposedly ‘shushing’ me. “It's fine—I'm fine! Why don't we just talk about something else?” She shouted before placing two of her hands on my shoulders and shaking me frantically, a pleading look in her eyes that made my stomach churn.
Eventually I stopped her, grabbing her wrists in a gentle grip and gazing softly in her eyes, a hint of worry and large patience glimmering in mine as I spoke, “Alright, alright, I guess we should do something else.” The words came out in a gentle tone, a smile cast upon my lips that had her calming down and now moving closer to nuzzle against my chest. Just like what she would've done whenever she was feeling down.
I don't know why, but I could feel a sense of impending doom radiating from her small body. What was it that caused her this? I thought, but was interrupted by the feeling of those soft, metallic hands tugging the hem of my suit. I looked down and saw her tearful eyes, terror flashing a split second before her eyes closed shut, and she rested her head against my chest again—her breath eventually slowing down and evening.
I pulled her closer, trying to reassure her that everything's going to be okay—even if I didn't know what was going on. “Shh… It's okay, I'm here,” I said with the same gentle tone. “If there's anything that's troubling you, just talk to me, okay?”
She nodded, a little, and I continued to smile—to make her feel comfortable and safe. Safe... she was always safe around me. “So,” I said, shifting my weight and the large weight that pressed the both of us. “What game shall we play?” My hand produced a controller, and I gently nudged her shoulder, as to invite her. She snapped from her thoughts and smiled, mirroring mine. 'Everything was fine,' I wanted to say—though I only reached out and patted her head.
The resounding echoes of video games tucked away in the back of my mind. Months passed since then—a mere three months. The spaceship that we were supposed to board was almost finished; it just needed a few more testings and simulations. I went back to her place unexpectedly, and I never once wanted to remind her of our future mission after that. Though, as I entered our room, my gaze fell upon her form sitting cross-legged on her bed, her eyes—now filled with worry—glued down the entire time. It seemed like she already knew... but how?
“Cyn?” I called her name out rather than her rank. It always felt intimate to me. I could see her jump a little and scramble, but then calm down once she saw me. She smiled and patted the place beside her, inviting me to sit. “N,” she says.
I approached the bed, sitting beside her, a warm smile forming on my lips. “What shall we do today?” I asked in an exaggerated English accent. “Playing games? Cards? Practicing dance skills?”
“Actually...” She paused, pondering, for a long time. Not a single word came out of her lips, her eyes dropping down. It was rare for her to do this.
I collected my thoughts—trying to find the right words.
“We could just... talk. You want to talk?” I spoke, hoping that she doesn't get the wrong idea. “Not that particular thought in mind... just anything other than that.”
She looked up to me softly, her eyes almost like longing. She treated me as if I were about to go. “Can you just stay?” The words were spoken in a whisper.
“Sure,” I replied, mirroring the soft tone of her voice. I scooted closer until I was in the middle with her; she made more room for me, and then she sank back on the pillows. My audio receptors picked up the faint sound of patting behind my back, and slowly, I sink back, lying down beside her.
We only lay there in silence, staring at the ceiling, the darkness almost making me lose my sense of time. The clock ticked, and soon it struck—another hour passing. She moved closer to hug me, then she closed her eyes and slept—visors no longer displaying anything but black. I sighed, looking up at the clock rather than viewing my own. It was already 9PM.
“Big brother...” She managed to whisper under her breath. I only stared at her sleeping form. She'd never called me that before.
Today felt short.
The next day a report came through—a missing view of the voyage they sent. It was as if they were destroyed, not by any weather or events—but by something. The last footage of its final moment showed nothing of any importance—only a loud crash and the footage going static. It was bad news for the researchers.
I requested that they shouldn't tell on our lieutenant, for safety concerns. They all looked at me strangely—as if I was crazy—but they agreed and stayed quiet.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I continued to visit our chamber, trying to pretend that nothing was going on, but as time went on, the sadder she looked. When did it go wrong? I asked myself this. But maybe, just maybe, it was my fault. I haven't realized it yet.
I stumbled upon our room once more and found her crouched upon the box full of toys, her fingers moving the beads of an abascus. Only two beads were left. The room was dark. The clock ticked in the background.
“Cyn...” I started, stepping into the room. As always, she jumped a little and turned around to see me standing apologetically in the doorway. “I'm sorry... if I ever did anything bad to you.” My feet scooted closer; I could feel her gaze upon my figure. “I didn't mean it, but, if you could... please—” I crouched down, holding a hand out. “Forgive me.”
She smiled brightly, but her eyes told a different story—pupils filled with a strange relief. “You didn't do anything,” she says, giggling. “I didn't seem too sad, did I?”
“I was worried, and... I thought I did something wrong,” I mumbled.
“You could never be wrong,” she replied, scooting closer towards me until she was directly in front of me. “I couldn't see one bad thing about you. Even if it kills me.”
A strange remark.
What did she mean by that?
“Of course,” I agreed, unsure—but I was willing to do anything to make her happy.
Then she held up a puzzle piece, dangling it in front of my eyes. “Can we solve puzzles now?”
“Of course!”
The moment began to blur into my memories each day. I didn't want to know what she meant. I was too afraid to ask her that, but it would just be me overacting. Soon, I was called in for the launch of a mission to Venus. I was almost excited at first. It was the first mission that I was assigned to as far as I could remember.
Though, a lingering thought remained in my mind. ‘Do I assign Cyn?’ It was hard to choose. She seemed sad just then, unlike before, as if she knew it was coming. Maybe the exploration scared her; hence, I didn't.
Cyn showed up in front of me the next day before I could visit her. She begged for me to let her come.
“Let me in on the mission!” She says, shaking me frantically.
I sighed, a confusing feeling growing inside of me—uncertainty and guilt fighting for control. I placed a hand on her shoulder. “I can't do that, Cyn.” Then I paused. “I'm worried... if... you were—”
“Don't say that now!” She suddenly shouted. “We've been together... forever! Why now? Why would you leave me...?” Her words died down, and she pressed her face against my torso as if she had tears coming out of her eyes.
My hand came up to pat the back of her head. “Okay,” I said softly. “You can come, just...” I pulled her head back and crouched down to her level. “Be careful, okay?”
She nodded—lips turning into a smile. “I promise.” Then she hugged me again.
I let out a sigh of relief, still, my hands remaining on top of her head. Even as I held her in my arms, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear—a known fear I have felt before, and yet, I couldn't have known. After that, our day continued as normal. Still, I could feel that something was wrong with her.
Something akin to a pain that I've never seen.
A couple of days passed since then, and my squad—full of drones—got upgrades for sustainability on Venus a day before the launching.
There were significant changes in our looks—a darker shade of metal covering our bodies and thick armor plates that seemed like they made our bodies heavier. Though, they strengthened our joints almost tenfold—a hundredfold, somehow. We went through some testing briefly after that.
Soon, I was standing in the middle of a brief meeting, the researchers—both the humans and the drones—explaining what was necessary to explore and find out. 'Find the last rover that was sent,' they said. 'Examine the damage, and find out if it seemed too abnormal.' It shouldn't be too hard. If there were nothing, that is.
After that, we were led out into the space shuttle—larger than other space shuttles that I have seen before. I held Cyn beside me, walking together, afraid to let go—at least, she was. “Nervous,” she mumbled as soon as we stepped inside of the top compartment—where all astronauts board. Right? There were people there to help us navigate towards a white room; we sat in chairs surrounding the middle, and there was a singular glass window revealing the outside.
Even as we buckled up, Cyn held my hand the entire time, squeezing tightly as if she was scared. I heard her sigh, and in the corner of my eyes I could see her eyes so full of... hopeless acceptance.
The rockets started to launch, the sound almost a blaring in our receptors. She only held me tighter, not because of the sound, but because of something else. Her grip tightened as we left the atmosphere, and she leaned her head against my shoulder.
“It's going to be fine,” I whispered, squeezing her hand gently—trying to reassure her. “As long as I'm here, you'll be fine. I promise.” My words were soft and careful; I could see her eyes flutter closed in reaction.
“Captain? When will you stop it with her and explain the plan to us?” The second lieutenant suddenly intercepted us, her tone bossy even though I was the captain.
I scratched the back of my head sheepishly, then turned towards the rest of our squad. They were all looking at me. I could hear my second lieutenant scoff in the background. “So, as you have heard recently—a rover on Venus has been destroyed by an unknown... thing... Our mission is to find out whatever caused the rover's destruction and possibly destroy the thing before it destroys us.” I was stalling. The plan was simple—but only rehearsed, from what I have heard. They all already knew.
“There is no real plan,” I admitted. “We can't be so sure of it if we're going against the unknown. But just to be safe, two of our squad members should stay near the ship. They should be decent like... you—” I pointed towards the drone across me. “and you—” I pointed to the next one—which was two rows beside his right. “The ship's safety is one of our top priorities, so, it would be great if we safely return home.” A smile curved at my lips.
Before I could get a chance to speak, a voice suddenly erupted in my mind—and everyone's too, as I could see their distraught expressions.
“The ship is no longer visible from here. Is everything going alright?” It asked.
“Uh.... Yes. Could you tone it down a little? Please?”
“Oh! Right! I'm sorry.” A moment of silence passed. “The rocket will be running out of fuel soon—only the momentum of the ship will carry you there.” The voice was significantly quieter now, and the silence came back. The feeling of being left behind grew.
“The ship's safety and the discovery are our priority, and, yeah... the rest should go exploring with us.” I continued, then sighed as I slumped against my chair.
Seconds turned into minutes, and in those minutes the sound of the large fuel tank being released could be heard faintly outside of the spaceship. Only then did an intermission finally come. “Fuels are up. Commence shutdown for the crewmembers; you'll need it for later use when you get there.”
I watched and waited as everyone of our crew members began to power down—their visors no longer displaying anything. Just as I was about to do the same, I could feel a tug from my left arm—Cyn. I was so focused on the others that I hadn't realized that she was still awake. I turned to her. She had a smile.
“We're going to be fine,” she said cheerfully. It was unexpected.
I smiled, my gaze softening. “Yes, we are,” I said. “Why don't you power down now?”
She nodded and leaned against her seat before powering down—a faint smile still visible even as she 'slept.'
The silence continued—a peaceful silence—and I told myself the way she told me. 'We are all going to be fine.' There was a certain hope to her words. I wouldn't want to miss it.
Then I powered down—the world instantly turning into darkness.
And when I woke up from my alarm, I was aware that it had been months since we'd left. The room stays dark and cold. I was the first one to wake up in that ship, and I could see a slight yellow curve in the bottom of the window. We were already there.
As I executed a wake-up call, everyone booted up one by one. Minutes passed before everyone truly woke up, until the yellowish curve started to rise.
“We're descending into the atmosphere,” I said to everyone and as a message back home. Though they didn't respond instantly.
I could hear a contraption opening—feeling as the spaceship started to dive in faster. I logged into the ship's camera, and I could see the long pieces of what seemed like metal—I don't know if it was—retracting outside, acting as legs for the landing. The jets started to fire, slowing down our fall and landing us safely upon the surface. We all unbuckled our seatbelts, and I stood up first.
“Remember the plan,” I said, almost sternly, as I moved towards the ship's door. “And for the two that will guard this ship, stay outside, never let any other thing pass, got it?”
They nodded, then looked at each other as if acknowledging the weight of their position.
I opened the door and stepped out of the spaceship—the unfamiliar terrain sending digital chills down my spine. Everything was yellow; the air felt hot; I felt my body closing in as if deep underwater.
My squad stepped outside, one by one. Cyn was the last to leave—eyes filled with a sense of satisfaction. She stepped in front of me, yet stared into the distance blankly.
“Are you sure you want to come?” I asked again. She suddenly snapped.
“Of course! Of course!” She responded almost frantically, without a reason. I only ignored it, thinking it was just her anxiety.
“Let's go then!” I shouted with enthusiasm, pointing towards where my built-in map showed the location of where the rover was destroyed.
My wings sprouted—mechanical and sharp, like blades—and I braced myself to fly. It was easier, as I was high up in the air, gliding through the sky like a heated knife slicing through wax.
I looked down from the skies, watching as the terrain changed with each second. It was not until I found a speck of darkness that I started to speak.
“Oh, there it is—”
Suddenly, I felt something hit my head, causing me to fall spiraling onto the ground, crashing near where the rover was. I groaned, holding a part of my face as I slowly gained my bearings. 'What had hit me?' I thought. My squad wasted no time rushing down onto land—some of them confused and perplexed, while some others were fixated on something.
“We're under attack!” My second lieutenant, J, had shouted.
She landed on the ground first, followed by others, causing a large dust cloud to form around us. And as it cleared, I could see the faint signs in the sky where we had just crossed. There were small, lighter-outlined creatures—almost transparent but not truly invisible.
“You can see it, right?” She screamed again. “They're the ones who destroyed the rover.”
I stood up slowly. “Destroy them! Show no mercy!” A simple command.
They braced themselves, their stance becoming more prepared. I had no time to move as another one swooped by me from behind, dragging me with its tendrils. The wind felt ticklish—like miniscule droplets of water—as they flew me off. I could see it closer now—its shape akin to a stingray—but I had no time to admire it before it pressed itself against my body, bringing out a heat that far surpassed Venus' atmosphere itself. It melted my outer armor.
“Get off of me!” I shouted—pointing the muzzle of my rifle towards it—and pulled the trigger. The creature didn't shriek, only flopping and then going limp as it bled out a thick, clear liquid. It didn't seem like it was from here.
I turned to face my squad, only to find them already scattered. 'Cyn... where is she?' I thought, my eyes panning desperately, but I was struck down once more—once, twice by two more of these creatures. I was dragged further away by them, their tendrils never yielding. 'Just let her be safe...' I secretly hoped to myself. Soon, I broke free from their latch, the outer layer of my armor plate melting away from their touch.
I aimed and shot the two with precision, piercing their soft, transparent skin. They moved away like jellyfish—I only chased them to end their lives. No one was fit to survive on Venus... and yet, these creatures... how long have they been here?
I wanted to fly back, but they all keep coming to me like magnets. It was after what seemed like an eternity that I was able to come back to where my squad was. No one came to help me—which must mean that there were too many to count and fight. But as I continued my way back, I saw all of them—all 8 of them. They were all injured—with minor injuries.
“Collect the creatures' bodies!” I shouted from afar, waving my hands. “We'll need them for research back home.”
They all looked at each other strangely, then towards me.
“Boss?” A familiar voice called out, and as I turned to the source, I was met with J. “I'm sorry...”
She was holding...
Oh...
No. No. No... Why...?
I stepped forward, trembling, my feet almost stumbling. I fell onto my knees, my hands hovering above her body—damaged, broken, melted. Her visors were cracked—the warm gaze she usually wore was gone.
It was my fault.
I should've...
“We can reboot her back on earth.” A hand was placed on my shoulder.
And as I heard that, I calmed down a little. Maybe it was fixable—no, it has to be, right?
I stood up as they started to walk, and as all of them collected the carcasses of these dead creatures on their way. Some of them were even collecting storage chips contained with data from the destroyed rover.
'Fixable...' I wanted to believe it, and yet, her body felt so cold, even when we were on Venus... maybe it was just me.
I approached the ship, ignoring as the two crew members I ordered to guard the ship started to ask me questions. 'They already know from a glance,' I told myself, focusing on her rather than my squad.
I gently placed her onto her seat once I entered the ship, buckling her up and sitting next to her seat. I held her hand tightly as we started to launch off, trying to convince myself even more that she was alright—that it was temporary and that she'll be there smiling when she is repaired.
It was long before I realized that I was the only one awake in the ship. Maybe it was just me, but the room felt... emptier.
My eyes were glued towards the dark, dark floor. “You said it, right?” My voice quivered. “That we'll be fine...”
“I shouldn't have brought you here.”
I just stuck to her words—my only hope amidst my descent... then I powered down after what seemed like an eternity.
We arrived upon Earth, dropping into the ocean and floating up onto the water's surface. I could feel the cameras watching me as we flew back to land. They told me to do a speech in front of thousands, if not millions or billions. I hesitated, of course, but I had to; it was a part of the mission. The speech was almost awkward, filled with pauses and fleeting thoughts. I didn't know what to say, only words of motivation for whoever wanted to hear them.
After I finished with a trembling goodbye, the crowd erupted into cheers. I tried to keep up my smile after all this time.
Back at the lab, I gave them our footage and left without seeing their reactions. I waited outside of the reparation clinic, fidgeting with my clothes. It wasn't fair that only she was there—they all had regenerated themselves, but not her, somehow. She couldn't.
A brief moment passed, and I was called over to see her condition. All I saw was her damaged body—not yet repaired—and countless monitors blacked out, only seeking a request to connect to me.
They said it happened once they plugged her in to see her memories.
I kneeled in front of her body, still confused, but now having a sense of purpose. If this is what I'd do to save her, I would. They hesitated, but I ordered them to do it, harshly and impatiently. It was certainly a first.
Everything was a first after her.
They pulled out her wires and connected them into the hatch that was on the side of my head.
And I saw her, smiling, her eyes full of tears. It seemed like she had been weeping. The world around us was dark—a void without light with the exception of her appearance.
‘What happened?’ I wanted to ask, but I only managed to reach out a hand to her.
“I'm sorry.” She murmured. “Big brother...”
“What are you—”
Then it happened—my sensors overloaded, my mind freezing as memories started to flow in like a large current. I saw glimpses of decades of history—an old world that I didn't recognize and a war that I have never fought in. And her... her face, her love, her gratitude... and my betrayal, my yearning, my ego, my sin, my... regret. I was an emperor, then a captain.
But who am I now?
A rush of ideas clashed against my thoughts, contradicting each other—the un-me—the real, old me. I didn't know where they came from, but I was certain that it was myself—one that actively reject my current self.
I sought for war—I sought for peace,
I sought for hatred—I sought for kindness.
I sought for revenge—I sought for forgiveness.
I sought to love her... she sought to love me.
More than I could.
Her identity was a part of me—half of the pieces for the puzzle I so desperately wanted to finish. I felt empty without her.
And I was confused, I felt my heart tugging against each other, and my mind spiraling into two sides—the two sides of my new and old self trying to become one.
Briefly, I saw the side that she hid for so long, and I saw myself so bitter, so cruel and yet so regretful, guilty, loving. I saw the process behind everything, the equal social hierarchy between our race, the creation of the government and the military, the unity between all of the countries. My position, my role, my squad—they were all created by her. They were all that she wanted—I could faintly remember her speech about world peace... and I never listened to her. I only pushed my own ideologies against her, and cowered.
I saw it...
Glimpses of her plan flashed in my head, like a surreal thought. The mission, the broken rover, the creatures, the attack... they were all her doing. An explosion flashed in my mind. My wires raced.
I screamed at myself to save her—to preserve her, even as I broke down. I wanted—no, had to convince her—to make her see the beauty of the world that she rebuilt from scratch decades ago. I wanted to beg for forgiveness; I wanted to start over with her. I was hopeless, desperate.
A second later, I disconnected from her mind, snapping back to the lab, and I rushed to hold her in my arms—as if she was about to leave at any moment. A blinding light emerged in front of me, followed by the sound of an explosion; I felt my hands grabbing through nothing. When I opened my eyes, I was only met with what was left of her parts—a shell landing in my arms. I was too late.
Whimpers left my lips, tears and cries being let out uncontrollably. I didn't care if anyone was watching.
Questions rose in my mind.
Was it the fault of the creatures she made?
Or was it the humans? The drones? The war?
No... it was mine.