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Bruce had been in the cave for the past three hours filling up some paperwork for the league, he even had time for his afternoon tea and organice some of the gadgets. It had been a peaceful and quiet day, without any interruption. Then it hit him in the face.
It had been three hours of silence.
For a Gotham´s vigilante, and most important a father of….. many kids, so much calm only means chaos is unfolding somewhere else.
He slowly turned in the chair, avoiding drastic movement in case his only presence activates something in the chain of universe madness.
Doing a methodical look around, he made a mental list of the day.
No communication.
No visits.
No yelling.
There had been nothing going on, and that was definitely no good.
He was about to start making a quick check on the news in case he had missed an Arkham's breakout, when the phone rang across the room.
Bruce´s eyes went wide.
Chaos has begun, he mutters before lunching to answer the call.
“ALFRED, CODE C” he screamed
“Already on it, sir” Alfred said entering the cave with the speed proper of a speedster “Who and where?”
“Don´t know yet” he inform the buttler
With a deep breath he picked up the phone.
“This is Bruce Wayne, who am I speaking with?”
“Listen Wayne, we have your kid” a rough voice said through the phone “You are gonna send us a nice amount of money or else….. Do I make myself clear?”
Alfred looked at him, clear confusion on his face.
“Is this the code C?” he whispered to Bruce.
“I guess this time wasn´t important?” he said doubtfully.
“Maybe they are new super villains?” Alfred guested
“Not likely” he said thoughtfully “Are we sure there is nothing else going on apart from this?”
“I said” the man interupted the debate “Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, sorry” he cleaned his throat “OMG! my kid, don´t hurt him… her… excuse me, Which one did you say you had?”
He went for a full Brucie mode, but honestly they could have taken anyone.
“Your kid, man”
“I know, but which one?”
“What do you mean which one?” the man asked, confused “How many do you have?”
“That´s a tricky question” he started “Lets see.. Legally: four to five, not sure if Tim ended up signing his papers. Emotionally: eight. Two are more like ex doughters in law and one is kind of a nephew/ward.”
These criminals didn´t seem dangerous at all and Bruce knew whoever had been kidnapped was more than capable of getting out if things went south.
He heard the guy speaking with someone, but couldn´t fully understand the conversation. Aparently they had found somene some with some sort of conection to him and decided to just go with the flow.
After a while, the men started shouting about the incompetent of the others and the lack of organization they had with the whole situation.
“Okay, why don´t you ask the kid what his name is?” Bruce suggested massaging his temple.
“No way”
“Excuse me?” He must had heard that wrong
“The kid has tape on, imposible to know the name”
“And if you take the tape out maybe it wouldn´t be so impossible?” he said slowly
“You know how hard it was to put the thing on?” the man asked outraged “My hand will never be the same”
“And how do you propose we solve this?” Bruce said
“Do you need to know who we have?” the man asked trufully "Isn't it the same for you?”
“I mean, yes, but it feels kind of wrong don´t knowing”
“Okay, let me think” there was silence for a second “the brat broke my nose before we could put the ropes, so agressive”
“Yesss, that is not helping at all”
"Won't stop looking at us” he added to the description "But with intense eyes, like analizing every move”
“Are they looking at you agressible, secretive, emotionless…?”
“I don´t know man, it's just a creepy look”
This would be so much easier via videocall.
“Walk me trought the kidnap”
“It was just a normal one”
“Where?” Bruce was really trying to help here
“The park around the sixth avenue, infront of the icream truck”
“Okay, so you take them and then...”
“It was bad” the man said deeply meaning it “The taking part was actually pretty fast, but once we close the car´s door, the kid started slamming into the walls of the van, trying to jump from it”
“Did it seem methodical or were they hitting random parts?”
“It looked like a maniac episode”
Barb is out.
If it had been her then the slamming would have been less aggressive and more thoughtful,
“Good, we made progress” he encouraged the man “Just to confirm, you don´t have a redhead, right?”
“No”
“Perfect, then…” he stopped himself “Actually, could you give me a minute?”
“What?”
"I'll be right back, don´t move” Bruce said while putting the phone in mute.
“Alfred, could you bring that big white board we have in the conference room?” he asked the man next to him “And if you find photos of each kid, that would be great. We are not going to need Barbs though” he quickly added.
“Sure, sir”
Alfred disappeared and quickly came back with everything.
“May I know why we need this?” the man asked
“Honestly? For my sanity”
After a couple of minutes they had splited the board into columns, smiliar to the clue game.
Once they were done Bruce put the phone on speaker so both of them could hear, and unmute the call.
“Ready” he informed the man he was back
“What the hell were you doing?” he asked “Do you realize I have your kid at gun point?”
“And how is this kid reacting to the gun? excited, analizing the mode or…?”
“What the fuck man?”
“Lets better move on to another question”
“Look, this was supposed to be an easy job but I have you playing Guess Who and this brat is insulting every step of my plan”
“Insulting how exactly?”
“Loudlly and intensely” he said tired “Why do you think we had to put the tape on?”
“So It was a verbal disapproval of your crime methods, right?” he needed to be sure
“Very verball”
Bruce looked at Alfred and, with a nood, decided to take Cass out of the game.
“We are making progress”
“Sure, if you say so” he could hear the resignation in his voice “You are sending the money though”
“Yes, don´t worry about it” he said “Now, elaborate on the disapproval of your methods”
“Passionate?”
“Yep, it checks all of them” he made a cross over each kid's square “Were they specific about something?”
“The brat didn´t like that we made him spill the ice cream”
“Anything else?”
“The lack of color in the ropes counts?”
“It totally does, more if purple was requested”
It had to be Steph.
“Purple? No, the kid says the brown ropes are usually better because they are more resistant than the black ones”
No Steph, Maybe?
“What about once you got them out of the van? What happened then?”
“As soon as we opened the door, the kid just started running around the warehouse”
“Looking to escape, I'm guessing”
“No, it didn´t look like that” he said remembering the menace he had witnessed “It was like a beast out of control, just taking over the space”
He filled every square but Duke´s.
“Going back a little bit, were they trying to fix your plan or insult it?”
“Totally making fun of us”
Duke out.
“You are doing great” Bruce said "We'd already eliminated three options”
“I´m still not sure if you are a really good or bad dad”
“My kids are trying to figure that out too”
“So…They started running around” the man continued with the story “We had to bring five more guys to put a stop at the situation and help pin the kid to the chair”
“Why did you need five guys?” he asked “Was it a matter of size, slippery, too quick?”
“Honestly I was already out of my mind by that moment”
“Fair”
“Once we controlled the situation, the kid started talking and talking and talking so we decided to put the tape on”
“You said it was hard to do it, right?”
“One of my men had to grab the brat´s hair so I could at least get close enough to put the tape without losing my hand in the proses, and I assure you I was close to it”
“Black or blond?
“What?”
“The hair, is it black or blond?”
“Black, why?” the man asked, confused “Really, do they all have different hair colors or what?”
“I practically have one of each ethnicity”
“And why didn´t you start with that?”
“I don´t see color, thank you” Bruce said roughly “Good news is that we eliminated another possibility”
“Whait, are you really playing Guess Who?”
“No!?” he said, letting his Brucie voice take over totally for a moment.
There was a loud noice in the background, followed by panic screams.
“Is everything okay?” Bruce asked “I can call you later if this is not a good moment”
“Are you kidding me?”
“It`s seems you have a situation going on that needs to been taken of, just wanted to help”
“Your kid is the situation going on” the man said desperate “it would help if you just send me the money so we can be done with this”
“Sure, as soon as I know who you have”” he reassured “Now, why don`t you tell me what is going on with all the screaming?”
“We have everything under control” the man said “The kid just took off the rope, slipped behind one of my men and scared the shit out of him, but we already tied him up. Does that resonate with any of yours?”
“Are you giving me this vague description on purpose or what?”
“How is a Violent, Maniac running, creappy eyes, mooking, elusive little piece of shit a vague descripion?”
“Bealive me, it is” Burce felt compassion for the guy “Lets see, what he was doing behind your man?”
“Just standing there with a little grin and alarmingly still”
“So… No slightly jumping, big smile or doing a passive aggressive comment that kind of sounds like a nice compliment but it was said out of nowhere and in a weird context so you don`t really know if they are beeing nice or just mocking you?”
“That was oddly specific” he replied “But no, just a short comment on my man posture”
“Perfect, if you would give me a minute”
“Sure…”
Bruce put the phone in mute again and looked at Alfred.
“No Barb, no Cass, no Duke, no Steph and, clearly, no Dick” the older man said
“I bealive you are right, master” he confirmed “Master Grayson would have probably be more friendly towards his kidnapers”
“Good, then take him out of the game… Sorry, crime board” Bruce said before unmutting the phone one more time.
“Once you put him back on the chair, did he say anything in specific?”
“He threatened us, in a very PG13 way”
“PG13 because of Violence or language?”
“Honestly? Boths” the man said “But it felt like we where hearing a very detailed plan of what was going to happen to us in the next couple of minutes rather than a usual “I will find you and kill you”, it was bloodie but presisly”
“Sounds more like my youngest ones, but depending how piss of he is it could be the second oldest too”
“What is wrong with you all?”
“Hey, you kidnaped my son” Bruce complained “I`m really scare and worry about them, so be patient”
A stifled scream was heard through the phone.
“What more information can I provide you?” the man said with a fake calm tone.
“How big is he?”
“I don`t know, kid size?”
“So he doesn`t look like a 1.88 m man”
“I said I have a kid, not a fucking mountain”
“Who is calling me a mountain?” Jason's voice appeared from the door.
“Who is that?” the man said, worried
“One of my sons you don`t have” Bruce answered “Be right back”
“Don`t you dare put me on hold again, you fucking…”
Bruce put the phone on hold and turned to look at Jason as he was entering the cave next to Dick.
“Can I know where you have been all day?”
“Chill old man, we were at the movies” Jason said
“Are you playing Guess Who? I love this game” Dick added jumping next to the board “Wait, why are we in it?”
“Someone had been kidnaped and I was trying to deduce who” Bruce explained simply
“And you didn`t think about asking for the name?” Jason said looking increduslly at his dad.
“They won`t tell me”
“So you are down to Tim and Damian” Dick remarked “50 bucks it`s Tim”
“Deal” Jay accepted the bet.
“Are you done?”
With a quick nood from each, Bruce went back to the call.
“Sorry, you have my full attention”
“Great!” the man said sarcastically
“Lets do it simpler, just describe him physically”
“Short, strong but skinny, black hair, straigth nose, hich cheekbones…”
“They really look alike” Jay said thoughtfully
“New strategy, personality?” Dick asked the group
“He seems to think he is in control of the situation, super observant of everything, he doesn`t seem scare, sad or angry, he isn`t showing anything”
“Checks with boths” Dick realized
“You said he was judgin your plan..”
“At first, it was like a step by step of were we went wrong, but then he started talking in complicated words and we lost track of the idea”
Dick and Jason looked at each other and couldn`t contain the laughter that filled the cave.
“OMG, they are like clones” Jay scream over his laugh
“Damian is gonna kill Tim if he realized, and Tim would go in shook for at least a week”
Alfred gave them a stern look that made both men stop in their tracks.
“Now, sir” Alfred said turning to Bruce, who had wide eyes and was biting his lip, trying to not join his sons in the mocking game “I think someone is waiting for you”
“Don`t worry man, he has left me on hold at least three times” a voice said over the phone
“Sorry, keep going”
“Look I don`t know what else to tell you, this brat has been geting on my nerves for the past hou….. OMG, WHERE DID THE KATTANA CAME FROM????”
“DAMIAN!, you have Damian” Bruce shouted.
“Give me my fifty”
“No faaaaaaair” Dick complained
“I can`t” the man said “I`m leaving the little monster in the park where we took him and I`m moving out of this fucking city”
The call ended.
“Alfred, would you make sure Damian is returned?” Bruce asked, putting his phone away “And if you could buy him an icecream, they spiled his”
“Can I go? I`ve been wanting a chocolate scope all week” Dick said, already following the man out the room.
“I`ll get a vanilla one, do you want anything old man?” Jason added before joining his brother.
“No, I`m just going back to the computer” Bruce said sitting in front of the monitor “I need a new method for the next kidnap situation”