Work Text:
It all started when Patty broke up with him because it just wasn't working. And that it wasn't her, it was him.
To be fair it kind of was.
Technically it really started when he realized that no matter how confident he'd been in high school when he'd been Sebastian Smythe, he still wasn't ready to tell Joe that he was gay.
The obvious solution was to fake a crush on Iris. But that only worked for so long because Joe honestly seemed to want him and Iris to be together. So he needed to get a beard.
When Patty kissed him that one day, he knew he'd found her. But by the time he'd worked up the courage to tell her that he was gay and just using her as a cover, she'd already told him that she loved him. And he'd had to lie to her.
So he decided to just play along, and pretend that he was straight even though he knew that he was 100% gay. It was fun pretending that he wasn't any different from just about everyone he knew.
He really envied Captain Singh for being so brave. He wished that he could come out, but Joe being ok with his boss and being ok with his pseudo son were two completely different things.
Henry Allen of course knew that he was gay. But Joe, Iris and his new found friends and villains that came with being the Flash had no idea.
He was pretty sure Hartley had figured it out. He remembers an affair that he had with the young Rathaway when they were still in school. He was just happy that Hartley either didn't remember or he decided to keep Barry's secret.
To be fair, no one in Central City had even heard of Sebastian Smythe. Although he did find it kind of ironic how he was the villain in high school and now he was playing the hero. It was certainly amusing to hear the villains rant about how he had no idea what it was like to be hated, to be afraid, just because they had a different view.
Really, he nearly blinded the guy he was into while trying to take out said guy's boyfriend. Glee club was intense in Ohio.
But really, it was no surprise that Patty got tired of him holding her at an arms distance and the fact that he could never get it up. She still got orgasms but the fact that no matter what she did he wouldn't get hard had really pissed her off. It wasn't like he offered her an explanation either.
But it did frustrate him that she had broken up with him really publicly in the precinct. It really wasn't any of the other's business and he was getting real tired of the pitying looks that the other cops were sending him whenever Patty was around.
So he changed.
Suddenly his smiles were no longer as honest or as friendly. His words had more bite to them and his insults were actually hurtful. His presence became more imposing and confident, and he was no longer the shy little nerd that couldn't hurt a fly that was Barry Allen.
He was turning back into Sebastian Smythe and he couldn't find it in himself to care. As Sebastian Smythe he was safe and protected. Nothing could hurt him. But he'd reached a point where everyone was beginning to notice how he had changed.
Snart was sending him odd calculating looks whenever he made a scathing comment on his parka or complimented his ass. Cisco and Caitlyn were walking on eggshells around him and sending each other panicked looks, very worried about how he was acting.
He knew Iris and Joe had major problems with his attitude but he really couldn't bring himself to care. Now that he was actually fighting back - verbally of course - the other police officers left him alone and no longer picked on him. He even arrived to work on time consistently (reverting back to his morning person days of high school when he was the Lacrosse Captain) Captain Singh seemed to turn a blind eye to his snarky attitude.
Over all his life had improved.
He still wasn't completely Sebastian, he had his moments where he got really excited about something sciency and he could see Cisco sigh in relief, or when he geeked out over Star Trek and Iris smiled at him.
There was even days where he ran late and he could see Joe's shoulders slump. But he had changed, and to anyone who knew Barry Allen, it was very obvious.
He also had finally worked up the courage to call Nick and Jeff. He hadn't had a chance to talk to any of his old high school friends (yes, that did include the New Directions now that he'd made amends) since he'd woken up from his coma.
They probably thought that he had just decided to stop talking to them, but the truth was he'd just been really busy with Flash stuff. And no one in Central even knew he had friends outside of Cisco and Caitlyn. It was kind of shameful.
But he'd managed to reconnect with all of his Warbler buddies, even if he never managed to find the courage to call Santana or Blaine and tell them what happened. But he did find out how their lives had been going.
Santana had married Brittany in a double wedding with Kurt and Blaine. Then she'd gone on to become a super model while her wife became a dance instructor after studying at M.I.T.
Blaine had risen to fame along with Mercedes and they were both successful pop stars who occasionally did duets with each other. Kurt and Rachel had both become incredibly successful Broadway stars, and he'd managed to go see them each in one of their starring roles.
Looking at what Barry Allen had done after high school, he felt like he'd wasted his life. It helped that none of the Warblers save Jeff who was in a band, never became performers. They all had practical jobs like he did. Sometimes he wishes that he had gone into show business, but then he saves another life as the Flash and he thinks he did alright.
But then the fateful day came where it seems, that his family had had enough of his new attitude and was planning on confronting him about it. About 30 minutes after he usually arrived at work now a days, Cisco, Caitlyn and Iris arrived and began to speak with Joe. Every now and then they'd send glances his way, and he just knew that they were going to try and confront him about this.
He was mentally preparing himself for them trying to convince him that Patty wasn't everything and he didn't need to change to get her attention. Because the only possible reason that he decided to grow a pair is because Patty broke up with him.
Speak of the devil, because before his family were able to get a word in, Patty had appeared out of nowhere looking rather angry. She stomped right up to him and slapped him. He let his head move to the side slightly, but honestly, her slaps were weak. She had nothing on Rachel Berry.
"Bartholomew Henry Allen what the hell happened to you? You used to be such a sweetheart. Where did all of this come from?" She growled at him. He raised an eyebrow at her before looking back down at the files he was holding, continuing to organize them while he responded.
"It's Sebastian Smythe." he said. She looked very taken aback as she stared at him in shock.
"Excuse me?" She asked instead. He looked up from his files and placed them on the table beside them before placing a hand on the table and leaning forward, getting in her face.
"Like I said, it's Bartholomew Henry Sebastian Smythe Allen. But you wouldn't know that, not even Joe knows that." He sneered at her. Patty looked stunned for a moment before becoming angry once more.
"That didn't answer my question, you pompous asshole!" She said as she raised her hand to slap him again, only this time she was stopped. Iris had walked forward and seemed to be trying to intervene.
"Barry, we just want to know what happened. Why did you change? Everything was fine before." she said in a soothing tone. Barry rolled his eyes and stood up straight.
He was about to respond when he saw something over Patty's shoulder. He smirked, "well if it isn't Sha-queer-uh! What brings you to my city? Thought you were in New York, Lady Hummel, Hobbit." He greeted in his typical sarcastic drawl. God it felt good to be Sebastian again. He may have hated some of the things he had done, but as Sebastian he was free to be whatever he wanted to be.
He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the rather large group behind the three. It consisted of both the New Directions and the Warblers. "Well if it isn't Killer and the Warblers. And the Nude Erections! I didn't expect to see any of you! What are you doing here?" He asked all the while smirking and ignoring Patty's indignant sputters as well as his family's gasps of shock at how rude he was.
Santana rolled her eyes. "Heard from a little birdy that you've given up your little 'Barry Allen' act. Had to see for myself if you were back Fievel. Wanted to see if we could redo Smooth Criminal and Bad. You up for the challenge?" She asked him mockingly.
A large feral grin split across his face as he walked over to join the Warblers. "But of course Sha-queer-ah." His smirk grew, "I demand satisfaction in Warbler tradition. Let's duel." Santana smirked.
"I thought you'd never ask."
He turned on his heels and faced the audience seeking out one person in particular. "Captain Singh if I may?" He asked coyly a cocky grin on his lips. The Captain looked stunned but he gave a nod of assent anyway. "Perfect" he said happily, then he turned to face his family and friends. He was about to say something when Patty finally managed to work up the courage to speak.
"Barry what happened to you? I don't like this new you." She said in horror and disgust. His grin turned absolutely poisonous as he answered her.
"Fun, I don't like you either. Oh and just an FYI to all of you, I'm gay, I just wasn't ready to tell Joe yet so that's why I dated you." After dropping that bomb on them he turned back to face the assembled glee club people. Then on his cue the warblers began the opening beat to Bad and they were off.
[Artie:]
Your butt is mine
Gonna tell you right
Just show your face
In broad daylight
I'm telling you
On how I feel
Gonna hurt your mind
Don't shoot to kill
Come on, Come on,
Lay it on me
All right
[Sebastian:]
I'm giving you
On the count of three
To show your stuff
Or let it be
I'm telling you
Just watch your mouth
I know your game
What you're about
[Blaine:]
Well they say the sky's the limit
And to me that's really true
But my friend you have seen nothin'
Just wait 'till I get through
[Santana and The New Directions:]
Because I'm bad, I'm bad - come on
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
You know I'm bad, I'm bad - come on, you know
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
And the whole world has to answer right now
Just to tell you once again,
Who's bad?
[Sebastian:]
The word is out
You're doin' wrong
Gonna lock you up
Before too long
[Artie:]
Your lyin' eyes
Gonna tell you right
So listen up
Don't make a fight,
Your talk is cheap
You're not a man
You're throwin' stones
To hide your hands
[Blaine:]
Well they say the sky's the limit
And to me that's really true
But my friend you have seen nothin'
Just wait 'till I get through
[Santana and The New Directions:]
Because I'm bad, I'm bad - come on
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
You know I'm bad, I'm bad - come on, you know
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
And the whole world has to answer right now
Just to tell you once again,
Who's bad?
Woo! Woo! Woo!
[Blaine:]
We can change the world tomorrow
This could be a better place
If you don't like what I'm sayin'
Then won't you slap my face
[Santana and The New Directions:]
You know I'm bad, I'm bad - come on
(Bad, bad - really, really bad)
You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it - you know it
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
You know, you know, you know - come on
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
And the whole world has to answer right now
(And the whole world has to answer right now)
Just to tell you
(Just to tell you once again)
You know I'm bad, I'm bad - you know it
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
You know I'm bad - you know - hoo!
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
You know I'm bad - I'm bad - you know it, you know
(Bad bad - really, really bad)
And the whole world has to answer right now
(And the whole world has to answer right now)
Just to tell you once again...
(Just to tell you once again...)
Who's bad?
As soon as the last notes of the song ended two Warblers moved forward and produced cellos out of nowhere. Barry was impressed, it seems Santana had thought of everything. She stepped forward and he mirrored her movements. Then the cellos began the aggressive rhythm and Barry lost himself in the music as a wide grin spread across his face as he began to sing.
[Sebastian:]
Uh, as he came into the window
It was the sound of a crescendo, uh!
He came into her apartment
He left the bloodstains on the carpet, uh!
She ran underneath the table
He could see she was unable
So she ran into the bedroom
She was struck down
It was her doom
Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
Are you OK, Annie?
[Santana:]
Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
Are you OK, Annie?
[Sebastian:]
Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
Are you OK, Annie?
[Santana:]
Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Santana and Sebastian:]
Are you OK, Annie?
Annie are you OK?
Will you tell us that you're OK ([Sebastian:]uh!)
There's a sign in the window
That he struck you - A crescendo Annie
He came into your apartment
He left the bloodstains on the carpet ([Sebastian:] uh!)
Then you ran into the bedroom
You were struck down
It was your doom
[Sebastian:]
Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
Are you OK Annie?
[Santana:]
Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
Are you OK Annie?
[Sebastian:]
Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Santana and Sebastian:]
Are you OK Annie?
[Sebastian:]
You've been hit by
[Santana:]
You've been hit by
[Santana and Sebastian:]
[Sebastian:]
So they came into the outway
It was Sunday - What a black day, uh!
Mouth to mouth resuscitation
Sounding heartbeats - Intimidations
Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
Are you OK Annie?
[Santana:]
Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
Are you OK Annie?
[Sebastian:]
Annie are you OK?
[Santana:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
Are you OK Annie?
[Santana:]
Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian:]
So, Annie are you OK?
[Sebastian and Santana:]
Annie are you OK?
Will you tell us that you're OK
There's a sign in the window
That he struck you - A crescendo Annie
He came into your apartment
He left the bloodstains on the carpet, uh!
Then you ran into the bedroom
You were struck down
It was your doom
Annie are you OK?
Are you OK Annie?
[Sebastian:]
You've been hit by
[Santana:]
You've been struck by
[Santana and Sebastian:]
A Smooth Criminal
[Santana (Sebastian):]
I don't know!
(Annie are you OK, Will you tell us, that you're OK)
I don't know!
(There's a sign in the window)
I don't know!
(That he struck you - A crescendo Annie)
I don't know!
(He came into your apartment)
I don't know!
(Left bloodstains on the carpet)
I don't know why baby!
(Then you ran into the bedroom)
I don't know!
(You were struck down)
(It was your doom - Annie!)
(Annie are you OK?)
Dang, gone it - Baby!
(Will you tell us, that you're OK)
Dang, gone it - Baby!
(There's a sign in the window)
Dang, gone it - baby!
(That he struck you - A crescendo Annie)
Hoo! Hoo!
(He came into your apartment)
Dang, gone it!
(Left bloodstains on the carpet, uh!)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
(Then you ran into the bedroom)
Dang gone it!
(You were struck down)
(It was your doom - Annie!)
[Sebastian:]
You've been hit by
[Santana and Sebastian:]
You've been struck by
A Smooth Criminal
"Oh I missed this!" Barry exclaimed when the song finished. He was standing toe to toe with Santana and they were both breathing heavily after performing. She threw her head back and laughed before wrapping her arms around him.
"Glad to have you back twink," she mumbled. Then she released him and turned to face all of the stunned cops. "Alright which one of you is Twink's boss?" She asked sharply. Everyone sort of just shot a look at the Captain and Santana zeroed in on him.
"Alright, so we're kidnapping him for a week, and your going to give him that time off." Obviously Captain Singh wasn't all that good with dealing with commanding super models because he just nodded and said "consider it done."
Barry was both shocked and happy. He hadn't had time off since he had woken up from his coma. It would be nice to not have to be the Flash or Barry Allen for a while. He smiled genuinely at Santana.
Kurt eyed him up and down and wrinkled his nose as he saw what Barry was wearing. "Ew and we're going to change your entire wardrobe. No wonder you're single dressed like that, you even looked better in your Dalton uniform and that uniform flatters no one." He said in disgust.
Barry sputtered indignantly. Kurt simply continued, "you obviously can't dress yourself. By the time I'm done with you you'll have every gay guy in Central drooling."
Barry could only blushed. Kurt giggled in triumph at his reaction. "You've gone soft Meerkat. I never used to be able to get a rise out of you." Barry glared at him, shocking his family by the intensity.
"Shut up Gayface"
"Oooh! Even your insults don't have as much bite as they used to!" Kurt mocked. Blaine rolled his eyes as he laid a hand on his husband's arm. "Common Bas. We'll drop by your place to grab some of your things then we're catching the train to New York. We don't have all day!" He urged.
Santana smirked as Barry gathered his things and began to follow them out, not even sending a glance at his family. "We'll be able to get you a boyfriend in a week to Bas" the rest of the group was able to hear as she left the building, Barry only a step behind her.
Barry squeaked.
When he came back after a week he was noticeably more relaxed. But he was also more like Sebastian Smythe than ever. Cisco had jokingly asked "what did you get laid" and Barry merely smirked over him coffee cup as he answered.
"23 guys not counting the threesomes," he said cockily. Cisco shut up after that. They never spoke about what happened during that week again, because Cisco really couldn't tell if he was telling the truth.
After Caitlyn did a full physical after fight where he got pretty injured and Caitlyn just sort of got this traumatized look on her face; Cisco knew he wasn't lying.
Team Flash may not have been asking about the week but Joe and Iris certainly were. They demanded to know why they hadn't been told and Barry fixed them with the old Sebastian stare that had even gotten Nick and Jeff to stop making out in the practice room. They stopped asking after that.
Apparently that stare didn't work all that well on Captain Cold because he just wouldn't stop asking and/or attacking until Barry answered. "Where were you Scarlet?" He demanded for the umpteenth time before Barry had had enough and started to answer. Honestly he did want to gush, but he had to wait.
"I was merely going back to my roots." He answered playfully before asking, "did you know that I used to be a villain?" Snart looked taken aback at the question.
He could only respond with the ever intelligent "what?"
Barry giggled. "Yup. I used to be a villain and I was getting reacquainted with my snarky self and the heroes that fought me. Believe it or not their latest mission is to find me a boyfriend." He admitted.
Snart stared at him for a moment before turning his back and walking away. "Your life is insane. Let me know when you're back to normal. When all this-" he made a wild gesture with his hand "-is over and things can go back to normal.
Barry just let him go after laughing for a subtle 3 minutes. Then he raced back to Star labs to go make fun of Cisco's outfit choices again.
Two weeks later Star labs was approached by a military personnel. Captain Clarington was asking to speak with Team Flash and Caitlyn and Cisco were very worried that it would turn out like Eiling all over again.
They cautiously let him in while they waited for Barry to arrive. Clarington seemed completely comfortable as he casually inspected the room. "Nice set up you have here. And you have enough medical experience to be Barry's doctor Ms.______?" He asked leaving a pause for Caitlyn to answer.
"Snow. And yes, I am a Doctor. Although Barry's case is somewhat unique." she admitted. Cisco shot her a look in warning. The message was clear, don't reveal exactly how incompetent they were to the outsider. Clarington simply smiled brightly at them as they waited. Wow it was taking Barry a surprisingly long time to arrive.
It usually never took this long for Barry to arrive. Speaking of the devil, he jogged in with a worried expression on his face. "What's the emergency Caitlyn? No one's been acting up lately." He said as he walked in confused. Caitlyn pointedly stared at the military official still dressed in his uniform.
"Well Barry. Captain Clarington has come here asking to speak with Team Flash." She said carefully. Barry looked confused for a moment before he looked over at the Captain. Then his eyes shone with recognition. He smirked his Sebastian Smythe smirk.
"Major Hotness." he greeted seriously, bowing his head in respect.
The Captain smirked and responded with "Captain Sexy" in an equally serious tone. They stared at each other for a moment, neither breaking the serious moment. Cisco was making a major wtf face while Caitlyn's eyes had gone incredibly wide as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.
Then simultaneously they broke out into laughter as they moved towards each other to embrace. "I haven't seen you in forever Hunter!" Barry said happily. "You weren't there with the entourage when they came and kidnapped me!" He accused playfully.
Hunter rolled his eyes at his longtime friend. "Well no one thought to call me so I only found out a week later. And a coma, Bas? Really? You couldn't be bothered to tell your best friend that you woke up from a 9 month coma let alone that you were in a coma thanks to a bolt of lightning?" He demanded.
Barry smiled sheepishly, "speaking of that... how did you find out about the whole Flash thing. I didn't tell Satan or the others about my... side job." He said. Hunter glared at him and crossed his arms.
"Do you really underestimate me that much? As soon as I heard about your weird circumstances I looked through the military databases and found out that you were the Flash and not even using your real name anymore." Hunter grumbled much to the shock of the other members of Team Flash.
Barry shook his head. "I was born as Barry Allen, man" he argued. "If anything Sebastian Smythe was the fake name."
"Bas, we all know you felt like you when you were Sebastian, well when you weren't being a complete jackass. You're more comfortable as Sebastian, so you are Sebastian. Just accept that fact." He said seriously. Barry shifted uncomfortably as he felt Caitlyn and Cisco's eyes on him.
"Is there any other reason you're here?" He questioned after a moment of slightly awkward silence. Hunter stared at him incredulously for a moment before speaking again.
"Well I happen to know that the Nude Erections were unsuccessful at getting you to find a boyfriend- even though you had how many one night stands? Like 30? - so I can to rectify that." He said smirking in the way that used to kill the ladies. "How do you feel about joining me for dinner tomorrow night? I have reservations and it's an all you can eat buffet."
Ooh he was playing dirty. Even before his metabolism demanded that he ate A LOT, he never passed up food. He was always that kid that would eat all of your unfinished food. The prep school boys always found it hilarious how the snarky meerkat turned into a happy puppy at the sight of food. Although he somehow managed to stay skinny despite his eating habits, which continued to perplex the Warblers to this day.
At least now they had an explanation for why he was skinny with his eating habits.
Point is there was no way that Barry would ever turn down free food. Especially an all you can eat buffet. Then there's the fact that Barry had had the biggest crush on Hunter. It actually rivaled the one he had for Blaine. But at the time Hunter hadn't been 'even remotely bi-curious' and he'd held back to only the flirting that he did with everyone.
But now Hunter was asking him out. It was true that he hadn't had a boyfriend since... high school? Nah, he only ever had casual sex. So he hadn't had a boyfriend? Wow that was sad. The gay guy who's had more girlfriends than boyfriends.
How could he refuse? A hot guy that knew his secret, could deal with both of his personalities (would it be 3 now? You know, with the whole Flash thing) and was going to give him food? The fact that he seemed to be looking for a long term relationship was just the icing on the cake honestly.
"Wait Barry, I think you need to think this whole thing over" Cisco said suddenly. "Remember the last time the military took an interest in the Flash? Yeah, that didn't end well" he said, gesturing sarcastically. Barry frowned and was about to respond when Caitlyn cut in.
"Barry we just want you to be careful? How do we know that he won't take advantage of you? What if it's a trap?" She said soothingly, always the voice of reason to Cisco's blunt sarcasm. Barry pouted internally, he couldn't believe his friends.
Did they really not like Sebastian that much?
"This is Hunter Clarington we're talking about. He might be an asshole, but so am I. I knew him back from high school where we lead a club together. I know him, Caitlyn. He wouldn't do that!" He said in a confident tone. Caitlyn was about to argue, but Barry was tired of having to explain himself to his friends.
He nodded to Hunter, "why don't we go out for coffee now? Cisco, Caitlyn, you know how to contact me if you need the Flash. I need to catch up with my friend" he said as he proceeded to drag Hunter out of Star Labs.
"So that's a yes to the date right?"