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Chapter Text

~ Chapter 1: The Isle of the Blessed ~

-- Merlin --

"Merlin, there is nothing you can do," Kilgharrah said to me.

"I can't let him die," I said desperately. Arthur was my friend even if I was always the last one to admit it. I would gladly give my life for him, something I felt I had proven time and time again. It seemed cruel that after everything we have been through, he was going to die. It was while I was wallowing in grief, that it came to me. "Take me to the Isle of the Blessed." My voice did not waver, my resolve did not falter. If this is what it would take to save Arthur's life, I would gladly pay the price.

Kilgharrah looked at me, a mix of curiosity and sorrow playing in his expression. "Merlin, you cannot do this. You are destined to be the greatest warlock these lands have ever seen," he told me.

I shook my head at him. My decision was made. If I had to walk to the Isle of the Blessed, I would do it. "I have already fulfilled my destiny, you said so yourself. My powers are nothing without a noble cause to use them for. If he dies then I will never use my powers again. He is my friend, and I will not fail him. Now please," I begged.

I wasn't talking to him as a dragon lord. I was talking to him as a friend, as his kin. I wasn't going to force him to take me there. I wanted him to do it willingly. Without another word, he extended his head. I carefully picked up Arthur, leaning him on me. He slumped against me, his breath coming in ragged gasps. I doubted he was aware that I was moving him. Unlike our journey here where Arthur's added weight felt like a burden, I barely felt it this time.

I was going to save Arthur, but it wasn't like all the other times. I was really going to die this time. There wasn't going to be a happy ending where somehow I miraculously got saved. It was my time to leave this world. I’d never felt anything with such certainty before. I expected it to feel like a loss or sacrifice, but I felt peaceful. I was ready to say goodbye to this world.

As we touched down at the Isle of the Blessed, we carefully climbed down. I turned to Kilgharrah and saw in his eyes that he knew this was the last time he would see me. "Young warlock, it has been an honor," he said quietly. I had never seen a dragon cry before, but I could see the watery look appearing in Kilgharrah's eyes.

"Thank you for everything… old friend," I said with a smile.

With a solitary nod, Kilgharrah leapt into the air. The force of wind that his wings created nearly made me stumble.

I practically dragged Arthur over the rough terrain. The moment I stepped around a large slab of stone, a sorcerer stepped out from the shadows.

I looked at him desperately. It had been my intention to call forth the powers of life and pray that I could manipulate them, but if this man was here then he knew how to save Arthur. "Please, my friend needs help," I pleaded.

"Your friend is…" the sorcerer started to say.

"Dead, I know," I interrupted. I didn't have time for this. The sooner I saved Arthur, the sooner he would return to Camelot. His people needed him. "I am prepared to pay the price. To give life you must take a life. I offer my life for his."

"You would give your life to protect your king?" The sorcerer asked. I couldn't quite place the emotion on his face. It was a mix between awe and shock. "He who killed our kind. He who would kill you if he knew of your powers."

I shook my head. "He knows of my powers. He thanked me for them. It's why I've got to save him. He is the once and future king. He is my destiny," I said desperately. I had mentally prepared myself to die. I hadn't expected that I would need to convince this man to honor my wish.

The sorcerer nodded. He produced from his cloak, "The cup of life," I said out loud, shocked to see it. The last time I saw it, I was knocking it off a pedestal to end an immortal army. "Where did you get that?"

"The cup of life will always find its way back to the druid people. It was we who created it and we who are meant to possess it," he told me.

He filled the cup with water from a flask and handed it to me. I’d expected rain, so a flask seemed anticlimactic. I squatted down, resting Arthur's head on my knees. I brought the cup to his lips, letting a few drops fall into his mouth.

I waited a few moments and that's when it happened.

A bright light engulfed Arthur, pulling him to his feet. For a moment, that's all there was. A bright light. I put my hand over my eyes to shield myself from the light.

Then it was over. The piece of sword that had been embedded in him, lay at his feet. His eyes were open and he looked like he couldn't believe his eyes.

That made two of us. He was really alive. I waited for the inevitable. The balance of nature had to be restored.

But I felt as normal as ever. I heard a strange gurgling to my left. I turned and saw the sorcerer fall to the ground. I rushed to his side. "What's happening?" I asked him anxiously. "I was supposed to sacrifice myself for him."

The sorcerer shook his head at me. "I know who you are, Emrys. Just as he is your destiny, you are mine. When I was just a boy, I vowed to protect you, no matter the cost. I am proud to give my life for you Emrys," he told me in a weak voice. "Your destiny is not yet completed. This land is not yet safe for our kind. You alone can ensure that that will happen."

I stared at him, shocked. I had met several people that had been willing to give their lives for me, but this was different. This man had died and I didn't even know his name. I held his hand as he passed from this world. It was only a minute before his breathing stilled and a look of eternal peace spread across his face. "Thank you," I whispered to him.

I got up, ready to join Arthur. His eyebrow was raised in confusion, but I didn't acknowledge it. I took my place at his side. I was ready to fulfill my destiny.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 2: The Magic that Saves ~

-- Merlin --

Arthur looked at me uncertainly. "Merlin?" He asked quietly. I wondered if he realized what had happened - that he was alive and well. Or was he concocting his own narrative of what was going on?

I just looked at him; the only emotion I could feel was joy. He was alive. The king was alive. My friend was alive. "Arthur," I said, trying to hide my emotions.

"What happened?" He asked. He looked down at his chest again as if expecting to see the bloodstain or a gaping hole.

"The usual. I saved your neck," I joked.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "As if someone that is such a complete idiot would be capable of saving the king of Camelot," Arthur tossed back.

"Well if you weren't such a dollop head, maybe I wouldn't have to keep saving you," I retorted. We fell into our old banter with comfortable ease. It gave me hope that maybe Arthur meant what he said before. Maybe, just maybe, we could actually move forward from this and build a land big enough for both of us.

Arthur shot me a smile, then his amused expression disappeared and was replaced by a serious one. "What I said before Merlin, about your abilities. I meant it. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I want to understand it," he said to me.

"What do you want to know?" I asked him.

Arthur looked at me, looked away, and then looked back at me. “I don’t know if I actually know. I have so many questions and yet no questions.” He sighed dramatically. “Does that make sense?”

“No,” I answered before I could catch myself.

Arthur chuckled. “I guess it doesn’t make sense. I guess I want to know when you’ve used magic and how you’ve used it and why you’ve used it.” Arthur looked at me with a look of concentration. As if asking the initial question helped, the questions started flowing out. "Did you know about Morgause and Morgana and Mordred? Did you use your magic to stop them? And how long have you been using magic? How far back does it go? Did you use magic when you were first in Camelot? Like when my father married that troll or when that knight, oh what was his name, used those shield snakes, or when our water was poisoned? What have you done?" 

I shook my head at him. I was about to speak when he interrupted. "So you didn't use magic with those? We really just figured it out?"

I shook my head once again. "No, I used magic just about every time you mentioned, but none of those were the first time I used magic for you," I told him.

"You already told me the first time. When you stopped me from killing you," he pointed out.

"No, Arthur," I told him. "That was the first time I used magic around you, but the first time I used magic to save you was when the witch was pretending to be Lady Helen. I made the chandelier fall on her head and then to get you out of the way of the knife."

He stared at me shocked. "Why would you save me?" He asked me curiously. "When we met, I was such a… a…"

"A prat? A dollop head?" I asked, providing him with insults.

He rolled his eyes at me. "I would remind you not to insult your king Merlin," he said, trying to sound authoritative but really he just sounded amused.

"Doesn't change the fact that you're a prat," I muttered under my breath.

"I heard that, Merlin," Arthur said, not even trying to hide the amusement in his voice. "So why did you do it?"

"You were my destiny," I told him simply. "You are the once and future king. It is my destiny to protect and to help you unite the lands of Albian."

He considered me carefully. "You know Merlin, I think I may have underestimated your courage and your loyalty," he told me sincerely.

"Does that mean I get a hug?" I asked jokingly.

Arthur punched my arm lightly. "Way to ruin the moment," Arthur joked.

I rolled my eyes at Arthur. "So the shield was the second time?" Arthur asked curiously.

I nodded. "I'll have you know I stayed up all night to learn that spell to make his shield come alive," I told him. “It seemed so difficult at the time. I didn’t want the burden of saving your life, but something wouldn’t let me stop. What I would give for my biggest problem to be practicing a spell all night.” Merlin wondered if Arthur could hear the wistfulness in his voice. At some point, life got so much more complicated than a reanimation spell.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You needed something to do. You certainly weren't putting much time into being my manservant. You were quite possibly the worst manservant in the history of manservants," Arthur told him. He tried to sound snobby, but it had been a long time since he’d succeeded in the condescending tone that used to come easily to him.

I realized that we’d both changed. "And you were undoubtedly the most spoiled, pigheaded prat I ever served," I told him.

"I'm the only person you've ever served," Arthur pointed out.

I shook my head at him. "That's not true. I served half of the visitors to Camelot," I reminded him.

"Half of our visitors have tried to kill me. Are you saying I'm worse than them," he asked me incredulously.

I pretended to consider it. He wrapped his arm around my neck and started rubbing his fist through my hair. "Are you sure about that Merlin?" He asked me menacingly.

"You weren't the worst," I gasped out.

He released his grip on me and I stumbled back. I looked up at the sky. "We should start heading back to Camelot. It will be several days before we get back since we have to travel by foot," I told him.

He nodded. "And I would really like to hear about all those other times I nearly died," he told me.

I smiled at him. It may take a long time for me to explain to Arthur all the ways I've saved his life, but at least Arthur would realize just how much I have been there for him. And maybe, just maybe, Arthur would come to realize that magic can have a place in Camelot.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 3: Long Live the Queen ~

-- Gwen --

I stared at Sir Percival, not quite able to understand his words. "She's dead?" I asked uncertainly. "Morgana is dead?"

He nodded at me. "I recovered her body. It's right outside the gates of Camelot. I wasn't sure what you would want to do with her. She's a sorceress so obviously she doesn't deserve a royal burial," he told me.

I looked at him sharply. "Her being a sorceress was not her crime. Treason is. She betrayed Camelot and for that reason, she will not receive a proper royal burial, but do not falsely spread her crimes," I told him harshly. I instantly regretted it. It’s not Percival’s fault that I’m beginning to succumb to the stress of the last few days. "She will, however, receive a decent burial. Her body will be burned just like that of a knight or a townsperson would be." My thoughts were on Merlin. All this time he’d been a sorcerer. Gwen could scarcely believe the words when Gaius had first implied them, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

"But your majesty," Percival started to protest.

"No buts. Morgana used to be my good friend. It wasn't magic that corrupted her. Constantly hearing that who you are is wrong would hurt anyone. She just didn't have the support she needed. Her actions were inexcusable, but I will not deny her the right to a proper burial," I told him. I told all of them really.

Percival had requested a public audience so he could announce the news of Morgana's death. I knew my decision would be met with some protests, but what I wasn't expecting was for the acceptance.

Sir Leon stepped forward. "My Lady, you have proven that you are just and kind. You have proven that you can be our leader in Arthur's absence," he told me. "I am happy to serve you until the day I die." I saw many nodding behind him.

Despite his kind words, I felt a burst of shame flow through me. I had been so overwhelmed with the news of Morgana's death that I hadn't given one thought to my husband.

"Percival?" I asked gently. "What of Arthur?"

Percival's face fell as he looked down. "There was no sign of him, My Lady," he told me. "I fear Morgana may have killed him after he or someone else stabbed her. It could have been her last act."

"Who could have stabbed her?" I asked him confused.

Percival looked up at me and shrugged. "There were three sets of footsteps, my lady," he told me. "One of them went straight to Morgana, but the other two simply disappeared. Arthur was not travelling alone."

"So you're saying that you think Arthur is dead?" I asked him uncertainly. I could feel my heart breaking. He can't be gone. Not now. That battle was supposed to mark the beginning of a new life for us. We wouldn’t have to constantly agonize over Morgana or live in fear that any move might leave Camelot open to an attack from her. This was supposed to be the last obstacle that we had to overcome. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he was taken from me. Not for the first time, I felt cursed. I closed my eyes. Not here, I reminded myself. Not here. I have to wait just a few moments before I can allow myself to fall to pieces. Only the knowledge that Arthur would want a strong and fearless leader for his people kept me standing where I was.

He nodded at me. "I'm sorry my lady," he told me. I could hear the true sorrow in his voice.

"One more thing Percival," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. Already the world seemed to spin around me. I put my hand on the arm to my chair to steady myself. "What happened to Gwaine? I know he was travelling with you."

Percival bowed his head. "Morgana did something to him. He didn't make it," he told me, his voice breaking.

"Where is he?" I asked him. "Where is his body?"

"I left it where he died," Percival told me. "When he told me she tortured the information of Arthur's true whereabouts out of him, I tried to catch up with her before she could reach him. I was too late."

I nodded trying to keep my world from falling apart. "You must recover his body," I told him. "He deserves a proper burial."

Percival nodded and stepped back, joining the throng of people behind him.

Gaius stepped forward. "My lady," he said, his voice shaking. I understood his sorrow. If Arthur didn't make it, that meant Merlin was lost as well. "When I last saw Arthur, he gave me something to give to you, should he not return."

Gaius held something out to me, and I took it. It was the Pendragon seal. I took a deep breath and put in on my finger. I would hold it close to me always.

Gaius stepped back, and Sir Leon stepped forward. He faced the knights, the servants, and the people of Camelot alike. He was devoid of emotion as he said the words I was unprepared to hear. "The king is dead," he proclaimed. "Long live the queen!"

Cries of "long live the queen" rang out through the room, but there was no joy in anyone’s eyes. I knew it wasn’t that they resented me as queen, but that they wished they had their king. It was a sentiment I felt in every fiber of my being as well. I would give anything for Arthur to be here. Anything.

I looked up at the ceiling. I will remember you, Arthur , I mentally promised him. I will always love you. With all my heart.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 4: Older ~

-- Arthur --

As Merlin and I started our journey back to Camelot, I reflected on the years that I had known him. For the most part our journey was quiet. The silence was only broken when I asked Merlin a question about his powers. I wanted to confirm all the times he used his magic, no matter how reluctant he was to accept the credit for his action. I felt this burning need to know for sure, to understand.

I was still struggling to come to terms with what he had told me. My father had always preached about the evils of magic, yet proof that magic didn't have to be evil was walking next to me.

I couldn’t doubt Merlin's goodness. His bravery and loyalty are unmatched by my bravest and most loyal knights. He’d helped save my kingdom. He’d killed Morgana. He used lightning to help us win the war. It seemed like every victory I had achieved was, in part, thanks to Merlin.

As the sun was setting, I considered something I hadn't considered before. I froze as the details from the fight came back to me. The sorcerer with the white hair and the white beard. The all too familiar sorcerer. The one that planted the poultice in my room when I was caught with Gwen. The one who killed my father.

"Arthur, are you all right?" Merlin asked me, worriedly. I shook my head, trying to clear it. No, there had to be a decent explanation. Merlin would not kill my father. He’d had years to do it. Why would he wait until he was already dying? He wouldn't. There had to be another explanation. "Arthur?" Merlin asked. I got the feeling this wasn't the first time he called my name.

I was unable to respond. Nothing had prepared me for this conversation. How was I supposed to ask my closest friend about the role he played in my father’s death? I wasn’t sure I was ready to know, but I knew I couldn’t wait to find out. If I waited, I would only twist it in my head. I could hear my father’s voice clearly in my head. If you don’t do it now, Arthur, you might as well not do it. To put it off is to put your own needs ahead of our people and they do not want a selfish leader. My father had been talking about reading through a particularly dull report that even he hadn’t wanted to read, but I recognized that it applied to this situation as well.

I finally turned to look at him. "You were the old sorcerer," I said quietly. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. He told me that it was him, I just didn't realize the implications of that statement until now. "You were the sorcerer that almost got Gwen killed. You were the sorcerer that killed my father." I didn't realize until I said it out loud that I was so scared that he really was that person. That somehow he’d deceived me again.

Merlin looked at me with a pained expression. "I am," he said quietly. I felt betrayal wash over me. I was so stupid to think that magic could ever be used for good. My hand went to the hilt of my sword. I watch Merlin's gaze follow my movement. He didn't look scared, he just looked upset. "If I explain to you what happened, will you listen to me? Or are you going to kill me anyway?"

I didn’t look at him right away because I needed to be sure of my answer. I needed to figure out if I would believe him if he explained away my father’s death. I needed to figure out if it would even make a difference. If he was negligent with his magic, would that make a difference? Would that make it any easier for me to know that he was the one that killed my father?

I didn’t know if he was trying to stall me or if he was about to fabricate an excuse, but I knew I needed to hear him out. Regardless of what he was about to say, I needed to hear it.

I sat down on a nearby tree stump and sighed. "We might as well make camp for the night," I told him. "And then yes. I will give you the chance to explain before I pass judgement."

Merlin nodded as he set off to collect firewood. He didn't go far, and I carefully watched his every mood. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it was just like any of the hunting trips we’d gone on. He looked no different than the man that had waken me up every day. I kept waiting for that to change, but he still looked so ordinary. 

It dawned on me that he was collecting branches by hand. I was curious why he didn’t use magic. Was it instinct? Or was he still trying to hide his magic even though he no longer had reason to?

He came back with several sticks and branches and started making a decent fire. As he reached for a flint to light the fire, I finally spoke. "Just use your magic Merlin.”

He looked at me hesitantly. He didn’t look away from me as he held his hand out. His eyes flashed gold and the branches burst into flame. He didn’t utter a single word.

We stared at the fire for a long time. The silence was peaceful and despite my reservations about Merlin, I felt safe. It was so unexpected, but it was the truth. If I had to be out here with anyone, I was happy it was Merlin.

"I'm ready to listen, Merlin," I told him. "And I mean really listen."

I watched as the flames danced on Merlin’s cheeks. He didn’t look at me, but he didn’t need to. I could see clearly that he was carefully considering his words. "When you and Gwen got caught, Morgana was behind it. It was her plan to have Gwen executed. I couldn't let that happen," he told me.

"But why would Morgana want Gwen executed?" I asked him. "That was when they were still friends."

Merlin shook his head at me. "Morgana was no friend to Camelot. After she went missing, she returned an enemy," he told me. "It was her that took Uther out on a ride so that they would come across you two. It was her that suggested to Uther that Gwen was enchanting you. It was her that planted the first poultice under your pillow so Uther would think Gwen was a sorceress. I couldn't tell you that Morgana was behind it, so I did the only thing I could think of. Or, that Gaius could think of." He was whispering at the end and I could plainly see the guilt in his expression as easily as if he’d spoken it out loud.

The whole time Morgana was with us, her loyalty was feigned. I didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to tarnish any more of my memories with her, but I supposed what Merlin said made sense. If she’d been working to hurt me, she knew exactly how to do it. She’d always been particularly skilled at getting to me. 

She wanted me dead, wanted Gwen dead. I can see where the real Morgana started to leave me. It wasn’t shortly before she’d stormed into the council chambers and uprooted our lives, it was long before that. Perhaps even before she went missing.

"So how did you tie into this?" I asked him.

"I couldn't let Gwen die. Even if she wasn’t my friend, it was your destiny to marry her," he told me. "If I couldn't prove Morgana was the sorcerer, I figured I might as well make a sorcerer. I used an aging spell."

"Then why would you let yourself get caught?" I asked him, confused. "Surely you would have just turned back into yourself?"

"My powers weren't as developed," Merlin explained. "And aging spells are tricky in the first place. I couldn't reverse the spell. Gaius had to make a potion to make me young again."

I considered what he had just told me. It all made sense. "Thank you Merlin," I told him. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you saved Gwen."

“She was my friend too," he told me with a shrug. “She didn’t deserve it.”

"And my father?" I asked him.

Merlin looked at me with a pained expression. "I really tried to save him," he told me. "But your uncle. He gave him a necklace enchanted by Morgana. It reversed the effects of my magic. I healed Uther, but then Morgana's magic kicked in. I'm so sorry Arthur. If I had known, I wouldn't have tried to heal him with the necklace on. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know that it would do that." Merlin was crying.

I got up and sat by his side. I put my arm around his shoulder, fighting tears myself. "Thank you Merlin," I told him quietly. For a long time, I blamed myself for the death of my father. For a long time, I thought it was my fault. Now I realize, it wasn't me who killed my father. And it wasn't Merlin. It was Morgana.

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. "Thank you," I whispered once more to no one in particular.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 5: Goodbyes ~

-- Percival --

I went to the place where I left Gwaine's body. It took me less than a day to get there by horseback, and the entire ride, I’d braced myself for how difficult it would be to see his lifeless body. I knew the queen was right; he didn’t deserve to be left here forgotten.

When I got to the clearing, the ropes that had bound Gwaine were severed. There was no other sign of him. No sign of a struggle, no extra footsteps, no indication that he’d ever been here aside from the broken ropes.

I briefly wondered if I was mistaken, but I remembered the look in his eyes. It would haunt me for the rest of my life. 

Did someone steal his body? Who would want it? Surely an animal couldn't have taken him. No, there would be some kind of pawprints or footprints left behind. Something to show he had been taken. My confusion only increased. There was no sign of him.

I wondered if that was part of Morgana’s magic. 

I looked at the setting sun. I decided I’d make camp for the night and then keep looking for his body when morning came. I didn’t really have much of a choice. I could’ve stepped over it and not noticed with how dark it was.

I walked around, trying to find firewood. I had collected a decent amount when I made my way back to the clearing.

As I was setting up the firewood, I heard the sound of a twig snapping. I immediately went on the defensive, scouring the woods for anything out of the ordinary.

There was nothing to be seen. Most likely an animal. I didn't let my defenses down, but I forced the sound from my head. I pulled out the small provisions I packed for my journey. I had anticipated spending the night in the wilderness.

I stared into the flames of the fire. To my surprise, I found myself talking. I was never a particularly verbal person. I always preferred to keep to myself. I guess I was trying to make up for it now. I wasn't talking to anyone in particular, I was just talking. After a couple of minutes of rambling, I realized I was talking to someone, or more so I was talking to all the someone’s that were no longer here.

I needed to say all the goodbyes I would never have the chance to say.

"My lord," I said quietly looking into the fire. "I want to thank you. I was common, but you made me a knight. You gave me a chance when no one else would. More than that, you gave me an entire group of men I could trust. You were a wonderful king. I will miss you, My Lord."

I felt my chest burn at the thought of talking about Gwaine, so I put it off. I had one other goodbye to say anyway. "Merlin, you were always such a loyal friend. You didn't just serve Arthur, you served all of us. You had no skills to help you, yet you never hesitated to put yourself in danger to help Camelot. I hope that one day I can be as brave as you. I will not be the same without your sense of humor and your companionship. Goodbye, Merlin." I threw a stick in the flames and watched the shooting embers. In a weird way, I felt like that was Merlin saying goodbye as well.

I heard another twig snap, but it was too dark to see anything. I’d have to trust in my abilities to defend myself if I needed to. The first time I said his name, it was inaudible. It got caught in my throat and I couldn’t push past it. “Gwaine,” I repeated. I felt like something was clawing at my chest. “You were my best friend, even among the knights. You helped me find hope and you brought me with you to Camelot. When you asked me to go with you to kill Morgana, I didn't hesitate. I do not regret my decision, I only regret that you were the sacrifice for that decision. You will always be my friend. I promise that I will honor your memory."

"That's a pretty pathetic eulogy, if I do say so myself," a voice said from the shadows.

I jumped to my feet and looked around. I recognized that voice. "Gwaine?" I asked uncertainly. It wasn’t possible. He was dead. Maybe the darkness and my grief were playing tricks on me.

He stepped out of the shadows. "Did you miss me?" He asked in his carefree voice. If he didn’t look so terrible, I would have thought I was imagining him.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Some things never change. I briefly hugged him. "Where have you been?" I asked him. "I thought you were dead."

He shook his head. "That snake didn't kill me. It put me in something like a coma," he told me. He got a far off look on his face. "I was trapped in a world where I betrayed my king. I had to live with that guilt. I was paralyzed with guilt. It seemed like it would never end. And then suddenly, it was over."

I dropped my head. How do I tell him Arthur is dead? "Gwaine, you didn't betray our king. You were fighting against sorcery. There was nothing you could do," I told him.

Gwaine looked at me. "Where is Arthur?" He asked me cautiously.

I looked down. "He's dead," I told him. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't see the pain I knew he would be in. "Him and Merlin. We couldn't find their bodies."

Gwaine fell to his knees. "It's all my fault," he whispered. "I betrayed him and now he's dead. And I brought Merlin into this. Merlin didn't deserve to die like that. He deserved to die a hero. Now everyone will only remember him as the king’s manservant. He was so much more than that."

"No, Gwaine," I told him. "It wasn't your fault. It's Morgana's fault. She was so twisted and full of hate. It was her that killed Arthur." I hesitated. “I cannot convince you of something you do not believe, but I hope you know it was just a cruel choice of fate that it was you Morgana tortured. Anyone else she had chosen would have to carry this same burden.”

“Merlin wouldn’t,” Gwaine said confidently.

I wanted to argue with him, but the truth was, if anyone could have resisted Morgana’s torture, it was Merlin. His steely resolve was often unrivaled. 

I gave him his space to come to terms with what happened to Arthur and Merlin. He kept whispering that it was his fault. After about an hour, I interrupted him. "Do you know what Arthur would say right now?" I asked him. "He would tell us that no man is worth his tears."

"Did Sir Percival just try to comfort me?" He asked. His joke wasn’t as carefree as it usually would’ve been, and I could still see the pain in his expression. He gave me a watery laugh. "But do you know what Merlin would say?" I looked at him curiously. I actually do not know what Merlin would say. "He would say Arthur was a cabbage head.”

I couldn't help the laughter that escaped me. "Yes, but you know as well as I do that he would listen to Arthur anyway," I pointed out.

Tears started to fall from his eyes again. "But he can't, because thanks to me, he's dead," Gwaine muttered.

"It will be okay Gwaine," I told him. I was never good at this whole thing. I could stab something with a sword with ease but comfort someone? I was completely lost. "It'll be hard, but you'll get through it."

"I'm going to need a bloody tavern if you keep trying to comfort me," Gwaine told me. There was a hint of truth behind his sarcasm.

The last thing I wanted was to make things worse, so I bit my tongue. It was going to be a long trip, but somehow we were going to heal.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 6: Campfire Conversations ~

-- Merlin --

I couldn't sleep that night; I was overwhelmed with relief. He believed me. He really believed me. I didn't think he would. I’d been prepared to have to defend my every action and to still see the hatred in his eyes once he learned that I was responsible for his father’s death, but he met me with acceptance. It defied my wildest dreams.

I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Arthur listened to me. More than that. He listened and believed me.

I stared at the flames of the kindling fire.

"Draeka," I whispered, not wanting to wake up Arthur. I made the sparks take the shape of a dragon. I stared at it, transfixed. It was a basic spell, one of the first that I learned.

Somehow it gave me hope.

"It's beautiful," his voice said.

With a shock, I sent the sparks back to the fire and turned to see Arthur, who was very much awake.

"Sorry," I said quickly.

"There's no need to apologize," he told me sincerely. "You weren't hurting anyone."

I nodded, but made no move to do anything else. My words were stiff and formal when they came out; I couldn’t quite hide my fear. "You should sleep, Sire," I told him. "We still have a large leg of our trip to complete."

"Merlin, you really are a complete idiot. How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Sire?" He asked me. There was a hint of legitimate anger in his voice.

I looked at him curiously. Why was he so angry? It wasn’t like I insulted him or something. And once upon a time, he’d tried very hard to get me to address him more formally. "Why do you care?" I asked him.

"Because you are more than my servant Merlin," he told me. "You are someone I can go to for council. I trust you, and you are my friend."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "Nice to know you care," I told him sincerely.

He was silent for a moment. Then, like any nice moment we have, he had to ruin it. "Me care? Don't be stupid," he told me.

"But you just said we were friends," I pointed out.

"No, I think you were imagining things," he said with feined stubbornness.

"No, you're right. I don't think I could ever be friends with such a dollophead," I teased. Well, I never claimed to be any better than him. I love ruining a moment as much as the next guy.

Arthur chuckled lightly.

We fell into a long silence as the last of the embers died out. Darkness completely engulfed us.

"Tell me more about your magic," Arthur requested.

"What do you want to know?" I asked him.

"Why do you only use it like you do? So many sorcerers use it for power or riches, but you only use it to help me or help Camelot. You don't use it for evil," Arthur asked.

"Do you want me to be evil?" I asked him. There was the slightest hint of anger in my voice, but I couldn't help it. He believed me to be the exception and not the rule. That was unfair to all of my people.

"No!" He said loudly. "Of course not. I just don't understand. You could have used your powers to become wealthy or powerful. You could have used them for anything but serving a spoiled prince. Why didn't you?"

"I never wanted that," I answered him honestly. Somehow in the darkness, I felt safer talking about my magic. "I didn't even want to use my powers to save you at first. Every day, I battled with myself. I didn't know if I was a monster. I didn't know why I was given these powers. I just knew that I had them for a reason. Magic isn't evil. Some people that wield magic abuse that magic and use it for their own gain. I've never wanted power or wealth or anything like that. I've just wanted you to stop being a prat and grow into the king you are destined to be." I hadn't meant to say so much, but once I’d started, there was no stopping me..

"Thank you Merlin," he said to me. "I know that it's not something I've said often to you, but even when I thought you were just my stupid, uncoordinated manservant, I appreciated everything you did."

A long silence stretched out before us. No matter how hard I tried, sleep still evaded me. "Thank you, Arthur.”

"For what?" He asked me confused.

"For listening to me. For giving me a chance," I answered. "For ten years, I've been terrified about what would happen when you found out about my magic. I knew it was inevitable. I'm thankful that you gave me a chance to explain my magic to you."

"That's why you were so scared to tell me, wasn't it," he guessed. "It took you a long time to actually say it. And even when you did, you were crying and scared."

"Yes," I told him. Normally, I would have thrown in a joke about how nothing could get past him or told Arthur I wasn't crying, but we were having a really serious conversation. And I wasn’t Arthur; I didn't feel a constant need to ruin moments.

"I'm sorry it was so hard for you," he told me. "I wish I could have been smarter when you first told me. I was scared of you, but now I realize I have no reason to be."

I didn't know what to say to that. I apparently didn't need to say anything. After a moment of silence, Arthur spoke again. "So you saved me from the witch, prevented Gwen from getting executed, and healed my father before Morgana killed him. Is there anything else you did?" He asked me curiously.

"What you just listed? That's not even a small part of what I've done," I told him. I fidgeted uncomfortably. Him asking me this was akin to him asking to see into my soul.

"Well, I won't know if you don't tell me," he pointed out.

I sighed. It was weird to talk about it. "Arthur, I didn't do this stuff for recognition," I told him. “I didn’t do it so that one day, you’d be able to thank me for everything I did. I did it because I believe in you.”

"I know. But I want to know, all the same," he told me. "I want to know how many times you have saved my life, how many times you have saved Camelot."

"I can't remember it all. I've saved your life so many times, I lost count," I told him. It wasn't even a joke.

"So what if I think of something and you tell me if you used magic?" Arthur requested.

"Okay," I agreed. That would probably be the easiest anyway.

"The dragon," he told me.

"Kilgharrah," I said out loud.

"I beg your pardon?" Arthur asked confused.

"His name is Kilgharrah," I told him.

"You know him?" Arthur asked, sounding shocked.

"Yes," I told him. "It was I who set him free and it was I who made him stop his destruction of Camelot."

"You set him free?" Arthur asked angrily. I could see the visible effort it took for him to calm himself down.

"That was his price for giving me the information I needed to save your life so many times," I explained. "Would you rather be dead?"

Arthur took a deep breath, refusing to answer my question. "So you used your magic to make him stop?" he asked.

"Magic is useless against dragons," I told him.

"Then how?" He asked me.

"I am the last dragon lord," I told him.

"Then why the hell did we go searching for that dragon lord?" He asked me incredulously.

"Balinor was my father. I didn't inherit my dragon lord powers until he died," I explained. My voice sounded hollow, even to me. There were some things I doubted I would ever get over and losing my father right after meeting him was one of them.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said softly. "I had no idea."

"There's nothing you could have done," I told him.

"But there is. I could have been sympathetic. You lost your father that day and couldn't even acknowledge it," he told me.

I shrugged, a motion I knew Arthur wouldn't be able to see. "If you found out he was my father, you would have told Uther, and I wouldn't be here," I told him.

"Is this dragon still alive?" Arthur asked me.

"Yes," I told him. "I couldn’t kill him. He may have been angry and he took that anger out on Camelot, but he has also been endlessly patient with me… patient is the wrong word. He had reluctantly helped me at a time when I was too stubborn to heed his advice. If it wasn’t for him, you would have died a long time ago."

"I guess I owe this… what was his name? Killjaru?" Arthur asked.

"Kilgharrah," I corrected.

"I guess I owe him a thank you," he told me.

"I'll be sure to let him know," I promised Arthur.

"Thank you Merlin," he told me.

I smiled to myself. I could get used to Arthur saying thank you.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 7: Gwaine ~

-- Gwen --

It had been three days since the news of Arthur's death reached me. It had been three days since Camelot had accepted me as their leader. And it had been three days since my world had crumbled around me.

When I wasn’t in council or performing my new royal obligations, I was staring out the window that looked out into the courtyard. I kept hoping that one moment he'd suddenly appear, but my hope was fading. I couldn’t believe he was gone.

I couldn't stop thinking about him. When I first met him, I thought he was spoiled and arrogant but somewhere along the way, he changed. He became the man that I loved. He never gave up on me, not even when I was bewitched by Morgana. He used sorcery to save me.

Arthur never gave up on me, and I am determined not to give up on him. Until the day I day, I would hold out hope that he would come back to me.

"My lady," Gaius said.

I was so distracted I jumped about a foot when I heard him. He must have approached me as I stared out the window, lost in thought about Arthur. I hadn’t realized I was so oblivious to what was happening around me. I’d need to be more careful. This time it was Gaius, but I couldn’t be sure that the threat to Camelot was truly gone. "I'm sorry, my lady," he told me. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's all right. I was just distracted," I told him.

"I can see that my lady," he told me. "Is there anything you would like to talk about."

I hesitated. I was going to have to confide in him eventually. But I just wasn't ready for that. "No Gaius. But thank you," I told him politely.

"You will have to talk to me eventually, your highness. Your problem is not just going to disappear," he told me.

My eyes widened. "You know?" I asked him. I could feel heat flooding to my cheeks. I haven't told anyone. Not a single soul. How could he possibly know?

"I have been a physician for many years. I've seen many things. I recognized the signs," he told me.

I could feel tears falling down my face. "How could this happen?" I asked him desperately.

"I think we both know the answer to that question," Gaius pointed out.

I blushed again, looking down at my feet. "Arthur is gone," I whispered. "He's dead." Moving forward without him felt impossible.

"Yes. But you have to think about yourself. And more importantly, you have to think about–" He started to say.

"Please Gaius," I said cutting him off. I knew exactly what he was going to say. "Please, I'm just not ready."

He nodded at me. "Very well but you're not going to be able to wait forever," he warned me.

I nodded. "I have no intention of doing so," I promised him.

Gaius bowed to me. "Oh and I almost forgot. Sir Percival has returned. He's requesting a private audience with you," he told me. Then he walked away. I stared after him for a moment before I looked back to the floor.

I sighed and composed myself before I began to walk to the throne room. When I walked in, I was shocked with what I saw. Gwaine was standing next to Percival.

"Gwaine?" I asked uncertainly. He was alive!

When Gwaine saw me, he sunk to his knees. "Rise," I told him. "You have no need to kneel before me."

"Oh, but I do my lady. I betrayed our king. I betrayed Camelot. I am ashamed of my actions. If it wasn’t for me, Arthur and Merlin would never have met Morgana on their travels. They would both still be here today," he said looking at me. "I will accept whatever punishment you sentence me to."

I looked at him confused. "What are you talking about?" I asked him. I was far too exhausted to exercise the tact that I knew I ought to. Fortunately, it was Gwaine, so I knew he wouldn’t think anything of it.

"It was I who told Morgana where Arthur was heading. It was I who caused Arthur's death," he told me. I could hear the pain in his voice. "For this, I know I must be punished."

I walked over to him. Gently, I put my hand on his arm and helped him to his feet. "Sir Gwaine," I said in a powerful voice. "You are not guilty of anything. Morgana was a powerful sorceress. There was nothing you could have done."

"My lady," Gwaine said bowing his head. "I hate to disagree, but if I was stronger…"

"Then you would have just prolonged your suffering," I interrupted him. "Arthur would not want you to feel this guilt."

He bowed at me and nodded. He started to walk out. "Gwaine?" I called, stopping him.

He turned to look at me. "If it wasn't for you, Morgana would still be alive. Just remember that," I told him. “You may feel the guilt of my husband’s death.” The words got caught in my throat and I had to cough to clear them. “You may feel that guilt, but you have done Camelot a great service.”

He nodded at me then walked out. Once I was alone, I let my defenses fall. I knew Arthur wouldn't want Gwaine to punish himself for this, but I didn't know how to get Gwaine to see that. It was Arthur that had a way with words like that.

I would just have to try my best.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 8: Lancelot and Guinevere~

-- Arthur --

Surprisingly, despite a sleepless night, I was wide awake as we continued our journey the next morning. I knew we wouldn't get back to Camelot tonight, but if we got half-way through the forest of Eden then we would make it back to Camelot tomorrow, and I was beginning to feel excited. 

I appreciated Merlin's presence, but I missed my kingdom. More importantly, I missed my wife. I was ready to go back. It was the first time I truly allowed myself to believe we’d make it back. Tomorrow, I would see my wife again. That thought echoed through my head.

As we walked, I hounded Merlin about his magic. Walking gave me too much opportunity to think and I needed him to answer a lot of the questions that I had. "Gwen," I said softly about an hour after we continued our journey. "Gwen and Lancelot."

It was something I had been considering for a while. Merlin must know something about that. He’d always defended Gwen to no end, and I was starting to think that it was because he knew something I didn’t. Merlin sighed. "When Lancelot came back, I knew there was something off about him, but I couldn't figure it out. It was the little things that just didn't seem like something Lancelot would do," Merlin said. He seemed lost in thought. "Lancelot was the only one, other than Gaius, that knew about my powers."

"How did Lancelot figure it out?" I asked curiously.

"When Lancelot first came to Camelot and fought the griffin? He heard me using the spell that killed the griffin," Merlin explained.

I looked at Merlin amazed. "So it wasn't Lancelot that killed the griffin?" I asked him.

"I couldn't have killed the griffin alone. I simply enchanted the spear. Lancelot did the hard part," he told me.

I nodded, processing the information. "You were saying that Lancelot didn't seem right?" I asked him.

Merlin nodded. "As you know, he stayed in my chambers. I… I apologized to him. When he sacrificed himself at the Isle of the Blessed, he was stopping me from doing it," Merlin told me. "It was supposed to be me. I used my magic to knock you out so you couldn't sacrifice yourself. Camelot needed you. But Lancelot wouldn't let me do it. He sacrificed himself and for a long time, I tried to figure out a way that we could have closed the veil and still have saved Lancelot. When he came back, I told him that. I told him I wished I could have used my powers to save him. He didn't remember that I had magic." Merlin looked lost in thought for a moment. He looked up at me. "Lancelot wouldn't have forgotten about that. I didn't want to believe it, but I had to face the reality.

"Gaius and I started to look through the books he had. Many of them had information on magical creatures or magical concepts. Well one of them had information about a shade. We had to test Lancelot, and we realized that's what he was," Merlin explained.

"Merlin?" I asked, interrupting me. He looked up at me curiously. "You do realize I don't know what a shade is right?"

Merlin shrugged. "Not surprising. You don't know a lot of things," he joked. I glared at him. "A shade is a person that has been raised from the dead. They are given a task to do. In Lancelot's case, his job was to ruin Gwen. Gwen was meant to become queen of Camelot, and Morgana couldn't bear to see Gwen on what she considered her throne."

"So you're saying it was Lancelot's job to make Gwen commit adultery?" I asked confused. "But why would Gwen do it? She loved me?"

"I never really figured that part out," Merlin admitted. "I'm guessing that there was some spell cast on Lancelot that made Gwen want to be near him."

"Why couldn't you stop him?" I asked Merlin curiously. It's not that I was blaming him, I just wanted to understand.

"I thought he was brought back to hurt you. And while he was, I didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late," Merlin said.

I looked at Merlin curiously. There was a strange look on his face. Guilt, I realized after a moment. He blamed himself. "It wasn't your fault," I told him.

"If I had figured it out sooner or reacted earlier," he started to say.

"It wasn't your responsibility to figure that out," I told him. "You are a sorcerer, not a mind reader."

"Did Arthur Pendragon just try to make me feel better?" Merlin asked me.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."

We continued our journey in silence for a while. "Why did you tell me you weren't going to be fighting in the battle?" I asked him after a while. It was something I have been wanting to ask him since he first told me, but I never could make myself ask.

"Morgana unleashed a creature that made me lose my powers," he told me. "It was not the first time Morgana targeted me, but this time, she knew what she was doing. Mordred told her I had magic. She knew if I didn't have magic then I couldn't save you. I went to the crystal caves to get my magic back."

I listened to everything he said, but something was sticking in my mind. "That wasn't the first time Morgana targeted you?" I asked him curiously.

"Since I poisoned her, she hated me. I was suspicious of her when she came back and I quickly realized that she wasn't all she said she was. She realized that I knew she was a traitor. It's not necessarily that she was targeting me, but if she’d had her way I would have died long ago," he told me.

"When did she try to kill you?" I asked incredulously.

"Um… a couple days after she came back to Camelot. That was before I knew for sure that she was a traitor. I followed her out to the woods and she knew I was there. She and Morgause tied me up in chains and left me to be killed," he told me. He looked like he was considering something. "I want you to know. I never spent the day in the tavern."

I looked at him shocked. "But Gaius always said that you were," I told him confused.

"Well Gaius couldn't really say, 'oh he's the old sorcerer locked in your cells', or 'he's off using magic to save your life', or 'sorry he's out destroying a magical creature known as a fomorroh so he won't kill you'. Really what did you expect him to say?" Merlin asked me.

I was about to make a joke when his words sunk in. "So you wouldn't kill me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"The fomorroh," Merlin answered. "It's a creature of the old religion. It has multiple heads and one thing about it is when you cut off one head, another grows back. Morgana put one in my neck. It drives you so completely, you can only think about one thing. In my case, all I could think about was…" He looked down. "Was killing you. Luckily Gaius realized that I was being possessed, and he was able to paralyze the creature in my neck so I could destroy the mother creature in Morgana's cabin."

I carefully thought about what he told me. I felt like it should bother me that he tried to kill me, but it didn’t. I was getting to the point where when I heard that someone was possessed and tried to kill me, it didn’t surprise me. Even Gwen has been possessed. It was only because Gaius knew the woman… I froze. "Merlin," I asked, trying to hide the amusement in my voice. I really wasn't successful and I was fighting to keep my smile from spreading.

"Yes?" He asked me curiously.

"Merlin, were you a girl?" I asked. My voice was shaky as I tried to cover my laughter. I coughed to hide my chuckle.

Merlin groaned. "You are so lucky that I like Gwen," he told me. "Or else I would never have done it."

"That's why you needed a dress," I said, connecting the dots. I coughed again to hide a chuckle.

"Are you laughing at me?" Merlin asked.

I coughed again. "No," I lied. I really owe Merlin a lot more than I realized. I can't believe he dressed like a girl for me. "You make a lovely woman Merlin." I couldn't help myself. This was too great to pass up.

Merlin glared at me. "You better stop," he warned me.

"What are you going to do?" I taunted.

"You'll see," Merlin said darkly

I rolled my eyes. What was the worst he could do?

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 9: Remedies ~

-- Gaius --

Every morning, I checked his room and every morning I saw the same thing. It was exactly the same way as it was before, save for the layer of dust that grew larger every day.

I couldn't believe he was gone. I knew it was him that killed Morgana. Only he had the power and the means to kill her. Arthur was too injured. I knew his magic didn't make him immortal; I just always thought he would come home. That's always what he had done in the past. He saved Arthur then came home and complained about how ungrateful Arthur was. That was how it was supposed to be. My heart clenched as I realized that was not going to happen again.

I felt as though I had lost my son.

I shook my head, forcing myself to close his door. I made myself eat some breakfast and began distributing remedies.

I had a special remedy to deliver last, but my ill patients had to come first.

I first went to Jean. Her husband suffered from a lung disease. It was incurable, but the effects could be neutralized. I had been treating him since he was just a boy.

Then I go to Phillip and then Freyor and then Aligar and then Barla. And the list goes on and on and on. My list of patients has grown since Arthur's death. People are so upset about his demise that the sick have gotten sicker and the elderly were too old to fight it. Mostly, it's a mental issue. But at an old age, if someone didn't have faith, it could be life-threatening, and I was afraid Arthur's death had seriously demoralized the people.

It wasn't like when Uther died. The people respected Uther, but they didn't like him. The people loved Arthur. He was just and kind and listened to their problems. He went out of his way to help his people. His people felt that they knew him and now that he was gone, the people felt that they lost more than a king. Everyone could feel that he was no longer here.

I looked up at the sky. "You left too soon Arthur. Your people need you," I said quietly.

I probably should have said something to Merlin, but I wasn't ready to. I didn't know if I ever would be.

As I finished handing out my treatments, I headed back to the palace. I knew exactly where she would be. She would be in her bedroom, the same place she always was when she didn't have any royal obligations that she had to pick herself up and make herself look human for. My heart broke for her, but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't go on like this.

It took me a while to ascend the palace steps. Old age did that to you and the people of Camelot weren’t the only ones suffering. I didn’t know how to go on without Merlin. When I got to Gwen’s chambers, I knocked gently on the door.

"Enter," she called. Her voice was calm and powerful. That would disappear once she saw me. She didn’t have the strength to keep up the pretense when she didn’t have to.

I entered and sure enough, sorrow washed over her when she saw it was me.

"I keep hoping he will miraculously show up," she whispered to me. "That one second, he'll come barging through that door and it will be like he never left. That's probably insane, isn't it?"

"It is never insane to hope, my lady," I told her. "But while you hope, you cannot sulk in your room. I apologize if I seem forward, but you have an entire kingdom to look after. Your people need you. They need you to be present and comforting. You are doing no good to them by locking yourself in your room and crying over Arthur. It's okay to mourn, but mourn with your people. You need to help them get through this. You need to keep yourself safe and healthy."

Gwen stared at me shocked. "Thank you Gaius," she said softly. "I know I needed to hear that."

“The losses you have experienced are understandable. No one will judge you on your grief.” The poor girl must feel all alone. "How are you feeling?" I asked her hesitantly.

"Ill, like always," she said with a sigh.

"That's to be expected," I told her. I pulled out the draft that I had prepared for her. "Drink this. It will help."

She stood up and walked over to me. She took the draft, looking at it nervously.

"Is it safe?" She asked me.

I nodded. "I treat many with it. It's very safe and it will help you," I told her. "I will prepare one for you every day. It will help make this easier on you."

She hesitated then drank what I had handed to her. "What if I can't do it Gaius?" She asked me nervously. "What if I'm not strong enough?"

"It's too late for thoughts like that," I told her gently. I couldn't imagine how she felt. She had to bear the weight of the world, and she had no one to share it with. "Besides, you will be just fine. You are not alone Gwen. I am here to help you. And you have your knights and your people. They will not abandon you."

"I don't think I'm ready for this," she said, tears streaming down her face.

"You are ready for this," I told her. "You have proven to be kind and compassionate. Those aren't skills you learn Gwen. You have them and they will help you. You don't have to do it alone."

"I know I'm not alone. I… I just can't imagine doing this without Arthur at my side," she said, her tears picking up, she leaned her head on my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her, trying to comfort her. "You have to, my lady," I told her gravely. “That is Arthur’s heir you carry. Arthur may not be here, but he is not gone. He will live on in your child.”

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 10: My Lady ~

-- Merlin --

I stared after Arthur angrily. Oh sure, it was funny to him. He’d never had to dress like a girl.

An evil smile came across my face. I did tell him he would regret laughing at me. At the time, it was an empty threat, but now the gears in my head were turning. I thought Arthur might need a bit of a makeover.

I muttered the spell under my breath so Arthur wouldn't hear me. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. Arthur turned back to me. "What is so funny Merlin?" He asked me in a tired voice.

"Nothing my lady," I said, walking past him. I spared a glance for him and had to hold back my laughter. The spell didn't do too much to him. I didn't want to do anything that might make him think magic was bad, I just wanted him to regret what he said. The spell made him look like a girl from the neck up. His face had make-up on it and his hair had grown slightly and curled. He did look rather feminine which was a comical sight on top of the body of a knight.

"My lady?" He asked incredulously. "Merlin, I'm the king of Camelot. You can't insult me like that."

"I wasn't insulting you," I told him. "Would you care for some water, my lady? It's just over there."

I could hear a stream, not far from where we were walking. I really just wanted him to see his reflection. I'm not stupid enough to embarrass him in front of his people, but this little thing? This was perfect.

Arthur shoved past me. "I'll find the way myself," he told me.

He walked towards the stream. I waited. Less than five minutes later, "Merlin!" Arthur screamed.

"Yes?" I asked innocently, walking towards the stream.

Once he could see where I was, he barged over to me and locked me in a headlock. "Undo it," he ordered me.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, playing dumb.

"You know what's wrong!" He said angrily.

"I don't see anything wrong. You make a lovely woman, Arthur," I told him, mimicking his earlier words.

"If I apologize, will you undo the spell?" He asked me.

"Absolutely," I told him honestly.

"Well that's never going to happen, so undo it," he told me.

"Nope," I told him. "Not unless you apologize."

"Merlin!" He said outraged.

"I'm sorry, but I will not undo the spell unless you apologize," I told him.

"You know, I'm starting to think that magic should not be allowed in Camelot," Arthur threatened.

"You wouldn't," I said. And he wouldn't… right?

"Oh I would," he warned. I tried to find a sign that he was joking, but he looked completely serious.

I sighed. "Gierri," I muttered and Arthur's features slowly returned to his own.

"That wasn't too hard now was it?" He asked me.

"No," I said quietly. "We ought to continue."

"Merlin," he called. I kept walking. "Merlin!"

I stopped, but didn't turn around. "You know I didn't mean it, right?" he asked me.

"Didn't mean what?" I asked him.

"I would never ban magic in Camelot just because of a harmless prank. I hope you realize that," he told me. I was surprised by the sincerity in his voice. I turned so I was facing him.

"Of course, I knew that," I lied.

Arthur walked up to me. He slapped the back of my head. "You're a terrible liar Merlin," he told me. He walked for a moment then turned to face me. "I am sorry Merlin."

I couldn't help my smile. "Thanks Arthur," I told him. Maybe we got something out of this anyway.

We walked in silence for a while. Arthur seemed like he was preoccupied with something. "Is everything okay?" I asked him after a couple of hours of silence. We would have to stop soon for lunch, but I don't think Arthur realized that. And it wasn't like him to forget about his meals.

"Yes," he said shortly.

"Arthur?" I asked confused. He most certainly wasn't okay.

"Am I really that kind of king Merlin?" He asked me.

"What kind of king?" I asked him.

"The kind where I make an empty threat and my people believe me. Do I really come across as that heartless and cruel?" He asked me.

"No, of course not," I told him. He was this upset over my reaction? "Your people know that you are kind and just."

"Then why would you think I was being serious?" He asked. He was almost yelling.

"My situation is a little different," I pointed out

"In what way is it different?" He asked me. Now he was yelling.

I didn’t know what it was - maybe his tone or his complete lack of understanding that magic is different, but I felt myself rising to his bait.

"Ten  years! I have spent ten years hearing you preach the evils of magic. I have spent ten years watching my kind be captured, persecuted, and killed," I shouted. I couldn't help it. How could he not realize how different my situation is? "I have been scared to be who I am because of the laws of Camelot; I have had to disguise myself to save people; I have had to plant evidence to get the right people accused of the crimes they have committed; I have had to sneak and stalk just to find out everything I could to keep you safe. I have had to lie to you over and over again to keep you safe; I have had to thwart the plans of those closest to you so they couldn't kill you. That includes Morgana, Agravaine, and Mordred. The latter almost succeeded. And all the time, I have to keep up appearances of being nothing more than your simple manservant. On top of that, I have to be the physician's apprentice. Fix this Merlin. Solve this Merlin. Clean this Merlin. If that wasn’t enough, I had to hear about the evils of magic. Magic is dangerous, Merlin. There is no place for magic in Camelot, Merlin. Thank you for being loyal in the fight against magic, Merlin. It's never been easy to have magic and hide it and two days of you accepting my magic is not enough to cover up for ten years of you slandering it!"

When I had finished, I looked at the ground embarrassed. I usually didn't have outbursts like that and I shouldn't have spoken to Arthur like that . He may be my friend, but he was also my king.

I could feel Arthur's gaze, burning a hole into me. I was stupid and impulsive. "I'm sorry, Merlin. I have failed to recognize the difficulty of the circumstances you were put in," he told me. "I hope you will believe me when I say nothing you do now will change my decision. Magic will be allowed in Camelot. I swear to it."

"Thank you Arthur," I said to him. I could feel my eyes prickling. Do not cry. Do not cry.

"Merlin, you really are such a baby," Arthur teased.

I chuckled. Some things would never change. That included my master being the biggest prat ever. But I thought everything was fine just the way they were.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 11: One Sleepy Night ~

-- Arthur --

Everything Merlin said kept sounding in my head. He really had a difficult time in Camelot, yet this was the first time he’d ever talked about his struggle.

We stopped for lunch a little after his outburst. Merlin gathered some roots and food that he always got for stew and muttered some mumbo jumbo under his breath to speed it up a little bit.

As we were sitting there eating, I decided to ask him about something he had said earlier. "You mentioned before… Morgana, Agravaine, and… and Mordred," I said. I felt a stab of pain in my chest. Mordred had been one of my closer friends. "I knew about Morgana and Agravaine, but Mordred? I thought he was my friend." I paused as I remembered when he left. "At least until he ran away from Camelot and stabbed me with a magical sword."

"He was," Merlin admitted. "But he was your bane. He was destined to hate you and kill you in the end."

"You said he was. What changed it?" I asked him curiously.

"The girl," Merlin explained. "You had her killed and that broke Mordred. He was blinded by love so he couldn't see that you gave her the chance to live. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it."

I sighed. We finished eating quickly and then continued walking. Our journey was starting to take its toll on me. My lack of sleep and the difficulty of traversing the land was making me stumble more often than not. I was used to braving the wilderness and the strenuous exercise, but it was still a lot for me. I didn't know how Merlin was doing it. He just seemed so full of energy. And he'd done so much more than me.

I stumbled once and was having difficulty getting up. Merlin was at my side in a moment. "My lord?" He asked. "Let me help you."

"There's nothing you can do Merlin. I'm just tired," I told him. "I just need to rest."

Merlin said a string of strange words and a strange feeling spread through me. When it had finished, I felt oddly refreshed.

I jumped to my feet, amazed by my surge of energy. Merlin slumped back, looking tired.

"What did you do?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I'll be fine in a moment. That's an exhausting spell. It gave you more energy," he explained.

"I can feel that, but what did it do to you?" I asked him.

"Like I said, it was an exhausting spell. To give energy to someone you must take it from somewhere. It's like giving and taking a life. The balance has to be restored," he told me.

"You shouldn't have done that," I told him. "I was fine."

"You were not fine," he argued. "I know I can't give you everything you need, but this was the least I could do."

"You shouldn't have done that," I repeated. It was the little things that really made me realize how much Merlin did for me. "What's going to happen when I get hungry again?" I tried to make a joke out of it.

"You have hands," Merlin told me.

I chuckled. "Nice to see your sense of humor is intact."

I put my arm under his and helped him walk. He seemed to get better as we progressed, but he was still nowhere near back to his normal self.

Despite his weakness, we made decent progress, getting more than halfway through the forest of Eden. Even though there was still sunlight, I decided to stop for the night. Merlin definitely needed the rest and we had travelled enough that we would arrive back at Camelot by the morrow.

Merlin sat down by a tree. He told me what herbs and materials to collect. It took longer than he ever took, mostly because I was trying to find them by Merlin's description. He mixed them together and made them into a stew once I had scavenged enough.

"I'll stay on watch," I told him. "You get some sleep."

Merlin nodded and quickly fell asleep. He hasn't slept in two days. His fatigue did not surprise me.

Despite my words, I found myself drifting in and out of sleep.

I was abruptly woken up by the screams and footsteps enclosing our camp. I saw Merlin sit up, wide awake. Bandits.

There were at least twenty of them. Way too much for two men. Or at least that's what I thought. Merlin's eyes flashed gold and a bandit that was sneaking up behind me flew backwards about fifteen feet. I hadn't even noticed him. In the second that he did that, I jumped to my feet and pulled out my sword.

I took on the first bandit I saw, while Merlin made two of them fly back again.

I saw what Merlin was doing. He was making sure that he didn't kill the bandits. He only frightened them away. I was trying to do the same. Not frighten them off, obviously, but tire them out.

Most of the bandits were coming after me, but a couple were going after Merlin. He was doing a good job though, holding his own.

When there were only a handful of bandits left, everything changed. I heard a gasp in his direction, and I turned just in time to see a bandit pull his sword out of Merlin's back.

Merlin fell to the ground. This couldn't be happening.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 12: Home ~

-- Arthur --

My world moved in slow motion. I fought mercilessly. I killed the bandit I was fighting, then rushed to Merlin. I didn't care about the bandits that remained. I had to make sure he was okay. If he died, this would be just another sacrifice and I didn’t feel worth it. In fact, in light of everything I’d learned, I felt if anyone was going to sacrifice their life, it ought to be mine for Merlin’s.

Merlin started muttering something under his breath. His eyes flashed gold and then I heard screams around me. I looked around and saw that the bandits had flown backwards. There were none left around us, but Merlin wasted no time. He started speaking in a deep voice.

I looked at Merlin's wound, hoping to see it miraculously fixing itself. Nothing was happening. When he finished speaking, I looked at him. "It's not working," I told him nervously.

He shook his head. "I can't heal myself," he told me.

"You can't die," I told him. The reality of that possibility hit me, and I felt hollow. I couldn't lose him.

A small smile played on his face. "I have no intention of dying," he told me.

Suddenly the wind picked up. I looked up and saw a white dragon. It wasn't that big, but Merlin smiled when he saw it.

"Hello, friend," he said weakly. "Think you can help me?"

Merlin closed his eyes. No! He can't be dead. The dragon made a strange sound in the back of its throat. Then it opened its mouth. I drew my sword, certain it was going to burn Merlin.

But what it did was unexpected. It breathed on Merlin. I watch confused. At first, nothing happened. Then I could see color returning to Merlin. His wound closed and he opened his eyes.

I couldn't help the smile that came across my face. "Merlin?" I asked. I gave him a quick hug.

"It's good to see you too," he teased.

He sat up carefully and turned to the dragon. "Thank you old friend," he told him. Merlin extended his hand and the dragon pushed his head against it affectionately.

"Ah," Merlin said with a smile, looking up. "I was wondering if I would see you."

"I could not ignore the call of a dragon lord, young warlock," a deep voice said.

I looked up to see a giant dragon. It was the same dragon that had damaged Camelot. I would never forget the vicious look in its eyes when it attacked. To my surprise, that look seemed to be gone now.

"How are you?" Merlin asked the dragon concerned. Go figure. He almost died and he was more worried about a dragon.

"It is not I that I am concerned about," the dragon said.

Merlin shrugged. "You are too old to heal me; Aithusa too young. She did what she could," Merlin told him.

I looked at Merlin surprised. "What didn't she heal?" I asked concerned.

"She healed what she could," Merlin repeated. Seeing the disgruntled look on my face, he elaborated. "The blade went through me. The wounds I have left will heal. They are not life threatening."

"Are you sure? What can I do?" I asked him desperately.

"You can calm down!" Merlin told me.

"Merlin," I warned. "What can I do?"

"There's nothing you can do. Once I get back to Camelot, Gaius will be able to patch me up. I'll be as good as new," he told me. He shifted slightly and winced.

"You can't even sit up! How are you supposed to walk?" I protested. "And Camelot is a good day's walk when you aren't injured."

"Oh, I have no intention of walking," Merlin said with a small smile. He looked up at the large dragon.

"Young warlock," the dragon started. "I think you have said that to me more often than I care to remember."

Merlin chuckled. "Would you rather I die here?" He asked him.

The dragon blinked. "I would never wish death on you," he said.

Merlin smiled slightly. "So what say you, old friend? Are you up for one last adventure?" Merlin asked him.

The dragon extended his head.

I stared at it shocked. "You've got to be kidding me," I said. "I can't ride you."

"You've done it before," Merlin told me.

"I… What?" I asked, taken aback.

"He took us to the Isle of the Blessed," he explained. "Really, did you think we just magically appeared leagues away from where we were before?" It wasn't something I really considered. "Now please, before I bleed to death, help me climb onto Kilgharrah."

I hid my fear of riding a dragon flying miles above the ground and helped Merlin to his feet. Now that he was standing, I could see the extent of his would. The dragon had healed the small wound on his stomach, but the damage to his back was much worse.

I supported his weight as he stumbled to the dragon. I carefully helped him up. Every abrupt movement made him wince. I was starting to think that he was far more hurt than he was letting on.

I gripped Merlin tightly as the dragon took off. I wasn't scared; I was concerned that Merlin might fall off the dragon. I kept telling myself that. My fear was not for my safety as we became airborne. It was for Merlin’s.

"Hey, Arthur?" Merlin's voice sounded like he was speaking from a mile away.

"Yes?" I asked him.

"I know you're scared, but I rather like my arm," he told me quietly.

"I'm not scared Merlin," I told him.

"Then can you please loosen your hold?" He asked me. Behind his sarcastic words, I could hear the legitimate pain in his voice.

I loosened my grip, surprised to see how tight I had been holding him.

"Thank you, Arthur," he said, the relief evident in his voice. 

His face was starting to look ashen. "Hang in there," I told him. "We'll be back soon."

Just as I said the words, Kilgharrah began his descent. But he wasn't dropping us down near the citadel. "Where are you going?" I asked him.

"I'm dropping you off right outside the gate," the dragon told me.

"Why don't you bring him in? He may not make the journey to Gaius's. At least not consciously," I told him.

"I don't think your people will react calmly to my presence," he told me.

"I'll handle my people. Just please, bring us as close as possible," I begged.

The dragon moved his head up and down. As we weren't heading towards the ground anymore, I assumed that was a nod. Merlin slumped against me. "Merlin? Merlin? Wake up," I pleaded. I slapped him and he woke up. "He almost lost consciousness." I could hear the desperate note in my voice.

"You really care for him, don't you?" the dragon asked me.

I hesitated. "He's my friend," I told him.

"The young warlock will be fine. You must have faith in him," the dragon advised me.

Oddly enough, his words went a long way to make me feel better. Just as he told me that, he began his descent again. I looked down. I could see Camelot; I could see my home.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 13: Arthur’s Return ~

-- Gwen --

When I woke up, I felt better than I had in ages. I couldn't figure out why. I guessed it was the draft Gaius made for me. This morning was the first time I hadn't gotten sick in a long time. I would really have to thank Gaius. He knew what he was doing.

I went to my window and looked out as I do every morning. Today was the day. I knew it. It was time for me to finally let go. I could feel it in my heart. I would never fully give up hope, but I needed to allow myself to accept the possibility that he will never return to me.

"Arthur," I whispered. "I'm sorry that you will never get to know your son or daughter. I'm sorry that we won't get to grow old together like we planned. I'm sorry you died so soon. I… I would give anything for one more moment with you."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, a giant beast flew over Camelot. It wasn't just any beast. It was a dragon. There was no way that this was a coincidence. 

Not caring that I was still in my nightgown, I flew out of my room. I didn't care if I was 'in a delicate condition'. I just had a feeling that I had to be there. Whatever reason the dragon was here, whether he carried news of my husband’s demise or was attempting to attack Camelot while we were still reeling from the loss of Arthur, I had to know.

I burst out the front door into the courtyard. The courtyard was filled with gaping citizens, most of them looking at the beast with terror.

I froze in place as I saw Arthur descend the dragon. "Arthur?" I asked.

Arthur turned slowly to see me. It was really him. "Oh, Arthur!" I said, tears streaming down my face. I ran to his waiting embrace. "You're alive. You're really alive!"

"I would never leave you," he told me, capturing my head between both of his hands. He leaned down and kissed me gently.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. Oh how I've missed him.

"Oh, take your time. Don't worry about me. I'm only dying," Merlin said in a weak voice.

I broke apart from Arthur blushing. I looked at Merlin guiltily. It was the first time I noticed Merlin was here. He was pale and didn't seem able to move by himself. His eyes were closed, but I could see from their flutter that he was still conscious.

Arthur released me from his embrace and helped Merlin off the dragon. Before he started to help Merlin to Gaius's chambers, he turned to face the dragon and bbowed. "Thank you," he said in a loud voice so all of his people could hear.

The dragon nodded his head then took off. I watched him disappear into the horizon. I turned to Arthur, surprised to see him making his way to Gaius's chambers. He was by my side just a moment ago. I rushed to catch up with him. I looped my arm under Merlin's free arm; he looked like he was ready to collapse.

The trip to Gaius's wasn't long, but I was exhausted. 

When we got there, I knocked on the door. "Gaius," I called frantically.

"My lady?" I heard Gaius ask. I heard shuffling around as he got up to come to the door. "What is it? What’s wrong? If you needed something, I could have come to you." He opened the door. "You shouldn't be exerting yourself so much in your delicate cond-" he cut himself off as he looked at my companions.

He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't imagining it. "Help him, Gaius," Arthur pleaded. "Our camp was attacked by bandits and one of them stabbed him."

Gaius immediately snapped out of his haze. He moved around, clearing off a table. "Rest him here," he told us. We carefully laid Merlin down.

Gaius helped us shift him so he was on his side. I felt nauseated at the sight of the bloodstain on the back of his shirt. Gaius lifted up his shirt and I couldn't help the gasp that escaped me. The wound was large and looked awful. Arthur moved close to me and wrapped one of his arms around my shoulder. He kissed my forehead.

Gaius got to work, brewing up some sort of cream that he spread on the wound and wrapped it up in a clean white bandage. It did look so much less dire once it was dressed properly. He slipped something liquid through Merlin's lips and felt his temperature. "Will he be okay?" Arthur asked.

Gaius looked up at Arthur. "Only time will tell, Sire," he told him.

"Thank you," Arthur told him.

"You should go, My Lord," Gaius told him. "I'm sure you two have some catching up to do." Gaius shot me a pointed look. My eyes widened. I had no idea how to tell Arthur I was pregnant. When I’d first become certain of it, we were in the throngs of battle. It hadn’t seemed like the right time, but now with Merlin’s life on the line? It still didn’t feel like the right time.

Despite that, I knew I couldn’t put it off. Arthur needed to know.

Arthur nodded. "Of course. Please send word if his condition changes," Arthur requested.

"I will my lord," Gaius promised him.

Arthur and I left Gaius's chambers. Arthur never once removed his arm from around my waist, and I didn't object. I had gone three days believing him to be dead. Now that I knew he was alive, I reveled in the feeling of being close to him again.

"What happened Arthur?" I asked him softly. "Everyone said you were dead."

"Merlin saved me," he told me. He looked at me hesitantly. "Merlin has magic."

"I know," I told him. He looked at me surprised. "Gaius hinted at it, and I was able to connect the dots.

He nodded. "He's saved me so many times. He's been willing to die for me so many times. He told me this, but I didn't understand until I saw it. When those bandits attacked our camp, he put all of his focus into making sure I was safe. His safety was not his concern," Arthur whispered. "It's different than hearing that he's used his magic to protect me. I saw it. I experienced it."

"Where were you?" I asked him.

"Merlin took me to the Isle of the Blessed," he told me. "That's how I'm still alive. We've been walking back on foot, but once Merlin got hurt, he summoned the dragons to heal him and finish our journey."

"If they healed him, why is he hurt so badly?" I asked him.

"The dragon was too young to fully heal his wounds. They must have been really bad," he explained. "The dragon that brought us home was too old."

I nodded. "How are you, Arthur?" I asked him.

"I'll be fine," he told me. "I'm just worried about Merlin."

"He'll be fine," I assured him.

We reached our room then and he opened the door, letting me go first.

"How are you?" He asked me. “I can’t even begin to describe how much I’ve missed you.”

"I'm better now that you're here," I told him honestly.

I didn't realize until he wiped them away that some tears had escaped. "What's wrong, Gwen?" He asked me gently.

"I thought you were dead," I told him. "I thought I was going to have to do this all on my own."

"You would never be alone," he reassured me. "Even if I hadn't made it, my knights would have made sure you had help ruling this kingdom."

My tears picked up. "That's not what I was talking about," I told him.

"Then what is it?" He asked me.

I looked up into his crystal blue eyes. Eyes that gave me the courage to say what I had to. "I'm with child, Arthur," I told him.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 14: A Knight’s Celebration ~

-- Arthur --

I stared at Gwen shocked, certain I had misheard her. I simply was not that lucky. It was not possible that my wife was telling me that she was going to have a baby. It was not possible that I was going to be a father.

"Arthur? Arthur say something," Gwen pleaded.

"I… You're… you're sure?" I asked her. When we’d failed to conceive within our first year of marriage, we’d believed we wouldn’t be able to have children.

"I'm pretty sure." She hesitated for a moment then grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach.

I was shocked by what I felt there. Her stomach was swollen, but it wasn't like when I had gained a bit of weight; it was solid.

"How pregnant are you?" I asked her.

"I'm guessing around three months," she admitted.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked her. I wasn't angry… not exactly. I was just upset that she didn't tell me before.

"I wasn’t sure at first. We’d gotten up our hopes so many times before only to be disappointed. By the time I was certain, you were preparing for a war," she told me. “It never felt like the right time.”

I looked up at her amazed. This was real. She was pregnant. I threw my arms around her, hugging her to me tightly. As I held her, I realized exactly what that meant. I was going to be a father. What if I'm not ready to be a father? The panic started to set in. I didn’t want to give Gwen any reason to worry over my reaction; it would be important for her to be as stress-free as possible until the baby arrived.

"Guinevere, I want you to know I'm very excited about this and I love you, but I do have to go let my knights know I'm back," I told her.

She smiled at me. "I'll request an audience with them. You can surprise them," she suggested. "Are you going to tell them about…" Her eyes flicked to her stomach then back up to me.

I shook my head. "I… I want to tell Merlin before I tell everyone else," I told her.

She smiled at me. "I understand," she told me. She kissed my cheek before she walked out. The second the door was closed behind her, I sat down on our bed. I clasped my hands together and rested my forehead on my fists.

I was going to be a father. I was going to be responsible for someone else's life. A thousand worries passed through my head. What if Gwen didn't make it through it? I grew up believing my father resented me for the death of my mother. Of course, at the time, I didn't realize that she died because I was born. I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want my child to ever feel unloved or unwanted. Would Merlin or Gaius be able to do anything to make sure Gwen had the best odds possible? I didn’t know enough about childbirth to know if that was outside the realm of possibility.

First things first, I had to pull myself together long enough to greet my knights.

I didn't know how long I was sitting there before Gwen came back. "Come Arthur," she told me. "Let's get you in the throne room before your knights."

I obediently followed her to the throne room. Despite my anxiety over the baby, I felt excitement swelling in me. My men were like my family. I was excited at the prospect of being reunited with my brethren.

I hid behind one of the pillars as Gwen took a seat on the throne.

Slowly, my knights started to filter in. I could tell when we got closer to the time Gwen decided to hold the audience because they were coming in in throngs.

I tapped my foot impatiently. How long did it take for them to get here? It seemed like an eternity before everyone was here. I wasn't surprised to see that Gaius was missing. Naturally he knew I was back so all of his attention should be directed towards helping Merlin.

Gwen cleared her throat, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. I watched her, proud of how she handled herself.

"I have an announcement to make," Gwen said loudly and clearly.

"Is this about the dragon, my lady?" Sir Leon asked.

Gwen smiled slightly. "Something like that," she told him. "As you know, there has been a dragon sighting in Camelot. I want to assure you that there is nothing to fear."

"How can you know that?" Gwaine asked.

Gwen glanced at me expectantly.

"Because it was bringing me home," I said as I stepped out from behind the pillar.

There was about five minutes of silence as my knights stared at me. I felt rather uncomfortable being subjected to their stares, but I am the king so I forced myself to suck it up.

Gwaine recovered first. "Arthur!" he cried. It seemed his exclamation woke something up in my knights. Soon I was being embraced and a hundred questions were being directed towards me. They all wanted to know how this was possible; I mostly dodged around their questions. Soon enough, they would understand how I was able to survive and get back here but that announcement would have to wait. I gave Merlin my word that I would decree that magic be legalized in Camelot. I thought he would kill me if he found out that I made the announcement without him

At some point, we moved to the banquet hall where someone broke out the mead. I can honestly say that I could barely remember my name at the end of the night.

All I remember is me offering Gwen a cup and her declining it, saying that 'someone has to be the responsible one.' As if I'm not responsible.

But at the moment, my head was pounding too hard to think about that much.

Gwen opened the curtains to the window, letting light pour in. I winced, looking away. "Good morning… or good afternoon more like it," she told me with a smile. "You slept away half the day."

I jumped out of bed, causing my head to spin. I grabbed my clothes, preparing to dress myself. I sighed to myself. It's not that I couldn't do it myself, it's just that Merlin is usually here to annoy me right about now. "Was there any change in Merlin?" I asked her hopefully.

"Not that I know of," she told me. "Gaius hasn't sent word of it."

I sighed. "I'm going to go check on him," I told her.

And that's how my next three days went. I checked in with Gaius… frequently. And at night, I celebrated with my knights.

I knew I was going to have to talk to Gwen soon about the baby. If I was freaking out, she must be too, but I needed Merlin's advice before I did that. Dear God, I never thought I would think that.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 15: Awaken ~

-- Merlin --

I woke up in a familiar bed. I looked around confused. How did I get here? Then the events of that night came back to me. Arthur must have gotten me back to Gaius's chambers.

I blinked a couple of times, letting my eyes adjust. Sitting in an uncomfortable chair to the side of my bed was Gaius.

"Gaius!" I exclaimed. I couldn't help myself. I realized too late that if it was this dark, I probably should be quiet so I wouldn't wake him up.

Gaius woke up immediately. There were tears in his eyes when he saw me sitting up. "Oh Merlin, you're awake," he said.

"No, I'm asleep," I said sarcastically.

Gaius chuckled. "I've missed you," he told me. “I really thought you weren’t going to make it.”

I frowned slightly. "You saw me, what? Three days ago? Four?" I asked.

Gaius looked at me surprised. "Merlin, you've been out for four days. If you didn't have a pulse, I would fear you were dead," he told me.

I looked at him shocked. "Four days?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Arthur's been a nervous wreck. He spends more time here than he does with his knights and Guinevere combined. I think there's something he wants to talk to you about," he told me.

I groaned. "If he's going to ask me to polish his armor, the answer is no," I told him.

Gaius chuckled. "I think the matter he wishes to discuss with you is a little more serious than that," he told me.

I looked at him suspiciously. "You know what it is, don't you?" I asked him.

Gaius nodded. "I do. But I'm going to let Arthur tell you. Heaven knows he'll have me hung if I don't tell him immediately that you're awake," Gaius told me.

"Where is he?" I asked. "I'll go to him."

"If I had a guess, I'd say he's probably sleeping," Gaius told me.

I shrugged. "I guess it's time to wake up the king," I said with a smile.

I carefully got out of bed. I was a little sore, but other than that I felt fine. I started to leave.

"Um Merlin?" Gaius asked me. I looked at him curiously. "You might want to put a shirt on. It's rather chilly at night."

I looked down surprised to see that I wasn't wearing a shirt. I was so bandaged, I hadn’t noticed. "Oh. Right," I conceded. I pulled on a shirt then walked towards Gaius. I gave him a hug.

"I'm proud of you, m’boy," Gaius whispered to me.

"Thank you," I told him.

When he broke the embrace, he smiled at me. "You best get going. Your destiny is waiting," Gaius told me.

I rolled my eyes, but left his chambers. I followed the familiar passages towards Arthur's chambers. I quietly opened the door, careful not to wake them. The irony. I was being careful not to wake them, so I could wake them up in a more frightening way.

I glanced around the room and located the perfect thing. Two silver chalices were sitting on a tray next to the bed. I made the chalices rise into the air. When they were next to Arthur's ear, I made them clank together. It worked better than I thought. The sound of the two chalices echoed throughout Arthur's chambers.

Arthur immediately sat up and looked around. "What the hell was that?" He asked.

"I don't know," Gwen said in a frightened voice.

"Who's there?" Arthur asked. He got out of bed and grabbed the sword that always sits next to his bed.

"If I didn't know better, I would say it was almost like you didn't want to see me.” I tried to sound as insulted as possible.

Arthur froze. "Merlin?" he asked uncertainly.

"The one and only," I said, stepping out from the shadows so he could see me.

Arthur laughed gleefully. "It's really you," he said as he walked over to me. He quickly hugged me then put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm glad you're okay."

"You say that like you were worried," I teased him.

"Worried about you? Never," he tossed back.

"Right. If you weren't worried then I'm not the queen," Gwen muttered. Despite being woken up, she looked happy and radiant. But there was something odd there. It was undeniable that she was happy, but there was something else there. Something I couldn't place my finger on.

"I wasn't that worried," Arthur protested.

"You've spent more time hanging over Gaius's shoulder than anyone I know. I don't know how the poor man has the patience for you," Gwen teased him lovingly. "I'm glad you're awake. It’s been a long four days"

I grinned at them. "I'm sorry to wake you up, but Gaius seemed to fear that he would be hung if Arthur didn't find out I was awake," I told Gwen.

I looked at Arthur expectantly. "Okay I did not threaten Gaius," he insisted. "I may have hinted that the consequences would not be pretty if he did not tell me when you woke up."

"Arthur!" Gwen chastised. Arthur looked at the ground ashamed.

I chuckled. If only his people can see him now. "I am truly happy that you are okay, but perhaps this reunion can wait until morning? I really am quite tired," Gwen said to me apologetically. She didn't look tired.

"Oh course," I quickly said. I started to walk out of their chambers.

"Oh, Merlin?" Arthur called. I looked at him curiously. "I expect you back at work tomorrow morning."

"Arthur," Gwen chastised.

"Oh alright. Tomorrow afternoon, not a moment later," Arthur told me.

Gwen shook her head at him. "Have a good night," she said to me.

I left their chambers and shook my head. Some things never change.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 16: Nighttime Confessions ~

-- Gwen --

After Merlin left, I could not fall asleep no matter what I tried. I considered waking up Arthur but decided against it. He had been acting weird ever since I told him that we were expecting. He spent his days hounding Gaius or with his knights and didn't leave any time to spend with me. I had to hope he's just scared, which was understandable. With the stress of Merlin being hurt on top of the baby, I had decided to wait until Merlin was better to confront Arthur about it.

I would have thought he would be happy. I was providing him with an heir, something we feared would be impossible for a long time. We’d always talked about children in the abstract, and I feared the undeniable reality of a child might just be hitting him now.

I sighed, trying to fall back asleep. After a while of tossing and turning, I left our chambers. I was shocked when I saw Merlin sitting on the floor, his head resting against the wall. He was asleep.

I leaned down and shook him gently. "Merlin," I whispered.

He sat up immediately, looking around. "Oh, Gwen," he said looking at me. "I apologize. I must have fallen asleep."

"What are you doing out here?" I asked him confused. He was clearly exhausted and should be back in his chambers resting, not loitering outside our chambers.

He looked at me. "What's wrong?" He asked quietly.

I looked at him surprised. "What makes you think something is wrong?" I questioned.

"You're my friend Gwen; you have been for years," Merlin told me. "I know when you're upset, and I know when you're lying to me.”

I sighed. "It's Arthur," I told him. I wasn't going to tell him about the baby. I knew Arthur wanted to do that. "He's been acting… weird since he got back."

"Weirder than usual?" Merlin asked me jokingly.

I chuckled as I sat down next to him. "Yes, weirder than usual, Merlin," I told him. I tried to feign exasperation, but I mostly sounded like I was trying to suppress my laughter.

"What has he been doing?" Merlin asked.

"That's the thing. He hasn't been doing anything," I explained. "He's been spending all his time making sure you are okay or drinking with his men. And not that I have a problem with that, it's just that he literally spends all of his time doing that. It's like he doesn't have time for me. What if he doesn't love me anymore? What if his feelings have changed?" I didn't realize until I voiced it out loud how much I was worried this was the truth. My eyes burned as I tried to hold back my tears. I wasn't successful. Merlin looked at me; I couldn’t tell if his shock was the result of my fear or my tears..

"Oh, Gwen," Merlin said. He put his arm around my shoulder. It reminded me of his early days in Camelot. Back when things were simpler. Part of me yearned for those times and for the closeness I once felt with him. Years of hardship had distanced us - not so much that we weren’t friends, but enough that we were friends in a different way. "I don't know why Arthur's acting like that, but it's not because he doesn't love you."

"How can you know?" I asked him.

Merlin looked at the wall across from him as he spoke. "For years I used to tease Arthur about his feelings for you," he told me. "Arthur tried to deny it and deny it, but no matter what he did, whenever something happened to you, he was terrified. He defied his father to protect you; he risked everything to make sure you were happy. I wish you could’ve seen him every time you were in trouble. Feelings like that don't just change. He tried to deny his feelings for you because he didn't believe he would ever be able to act on them. You didn't see him as much then. He's a different man now that he has you. I mean he's almost a decent human being." I let out a watery chuckle. "If there's one thing you should never doubt, it's his love for you. If he didn't love you, then he wouldn't have threatened to kill me every time I mentioned his love for you."

"What if that's changed? I know he loved me then, but what if he doesn't love you anymore?" I asked him.

Merlin shook his head at me. "He is your one true love. That's not going to go away. True love doesn't fade. When you were being possessed by Morgana, it was the love you share that saved you. He really loves you," he told me. “More than anything, he loves you.”

"Thank you," I told him. His words really went a long way towards making me feel better. If anyone knew Arthur, it was Merlin.

"And, Gwen?" Merlin asked me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Arthur must know that his behavior is affecting you. He will tell you what's upsetting him eventually. If you tell Arthur this, I will deny it, but he has a good heart. He won't want to hurt you," he told me.

"Thanks," I said with a grin.

As I looked at him, something occurred to me. I trusted Merlin, completely, but did he trust me? He didn't know that I knew about his magic. I wondered if he trusted me enough to tell him about it. I wracked my brain to think about anything I may have said that would make him fear talking about his powers. Unfortunately, the aftermath of Morgana’s betrayal was such a blur for me. I could’ve said anything with how hurt I was.

I hesitated. I didn't know how to bring it up. "I want to thank you. You brought Arthur home to me. You saved him. It can't have been easy."

Merlin shrugged. "It is my job to serve my king," he told me. "I do everything in my power to keep him safe."

"I know you do. And I appreciate that. You're not a warrior and you have no combat skills, but you still put yourself in danger for him," I told him.

Merlin looked at me confused. "Arthur didn't tell you?" He questioned.

"Didn't tell me what?" I asked. I knew it was wrong to do that, but I wanted him to tell me.

Merlin took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. If I had known he hadn't told you, I would have told you sooner," he told me, apologetically. He looked at me anxiously. "Gwen, this may come as a bit of a surprise, but…" He opened and closed his mouth several times. "You're going to hate me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I am a sorcerer. I have magic."

He didn't open his eyes and looked as if he was bracing himself for my reaction. "I know," I told him gently. His eyes flew open and he looked at me as if he couldn’t believe the words. "I'm sorry I made you say it, but I needed to hear it from you."

"I understand," he told me softly. "Thank you for taking it so well."

"Did Arthur take it badly?" I asked him.

"At first," he told me. "I did lie to him for ten years. I would feel betrayed too."

"He didn't give you much of a choice," I told him. I can't even imagine how difficult Merlin's life must have been. Having to hide the very essence of your being isn't an easy task.

"Are you saying Arthur was wrong?" Merlin asked me teasingly.

"I think that Arthur sometimes thinks with his sword and not with his head," I told him.

"Can I tell him you said that?" Merlin asked me.

I chuckled as I stood up. "I should be getting to bed now," I told him. "Thank you for talking to me."

Merlin got to his feet. "Thank you for listening," he told me. He gave me a quick hug.

I entered my chambers and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Hopefully now that Merlin was better, things would go back to normal.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 17: Eavesdropping ~

-- Arthur --

After Merlin left, I pretended to be asleep. It was cruel, I knew, but I wasn't ready to face Gwen. I was anxious for the sun to rise so I could talk to Merlin.

I heard Gwen toss and turn for a while before she got out of bed and left. I watched her go surprised. I couldn’t fathom where she could be going at this hour.

I got out of bed with the intention of escorting her wherever she needed to go when I heard voices in the corridor.

I froze where I stood and internally argued with myself. Should I eavesdrop or not? She could be having a private conversation; it would be rude to listen in. On the other hand, she was my wife and I did have a right to know where she was going. Then again, I was the king of Camelot, I shouldn't listen into conversations unless I was invited to do so. But she was my wife.

I went back and forth for several minutes until I heard my name. It was muffled and I could have easily misheard, but if there was a chance she was discussing me, I needed to know.

"That's the thing. He hasn't been doing anything. He's been spending all his time making sure you are okay or drinking with his men. And not that I have a problem with that, it's just that he literally spends all of his time doing that. It's like he doesn't have time for me. What if he doesn't love me anymore? What if his feelings have changed?" I heard Gwen ask.

I winced slightly. I never meant to hurt her. I’d always wanted children, I just never expected to get my wish nor had I expected the influx of fears and anxiety it would fill me with. I knew that Gwen may have been suspicious of my behavior, but I never imagined that it was hurting her. I never imagined it would make her doubt my feelings for her. I pulled myself out of my reverie.

"Oh Gwen. I don't know why Arthur's acting like that, but it's not because he doesn't love you," I heard Merlin's voice say.

What was Merlin doing outside our chambers?

"How can you know?" Gwen asked him.

I listened carefully for his answer. I was curious as to what he would say.

"For years I used to tease Arthur about his feelings for you. Arthur tried to deny it and deny it, but no matter what he did, whenever something happened to you, he was terrified. He defied his father to protect you; he risked everything to make sure you were happy. I wish you could’ve seen him every time you were in trouble. Feelings like that don't just change. He tried to deny his feelings for you because he didn't believe he would ever be able to act on them. You didn't see him as much then. He's a different man now that he has you. I mean he's almost a decent human being. If there's one thing you should never doubt, it's his love for you. If he didn't love you, then he wouldn't have threatened to kill me every time I mentioned his love for you," Merlin told me.

It was a good thing they couldn't see me, because I was pretty sure my jaw would have hit the floor. I knew Merlin knew I cared for Gwen long before I’d fully accepted it, but I never understood his depth of understanding.

I found myself smiling slightly to myself. I would owe Merlin a lot for alleviating Gwen's doubts. As much as I hated when Merlin used to talk about her because it reminded me of everything I thought I’d never had, I also loved it because the very mention of Gwen used to fill me with such hope and love… it still did. I wish I’d never given her reason to doubt that.

I pressed my ear to the door again, trying to catch up with their conversation.

"Arthur must know that his behavior is affecting you. He will tell you what's upsetting him eventually. If you tell Arthur this, I will deny it, but he has a good heart. He won't want to hurt you," Merlin said.

I actually chuckled out loud. I brought my hand to my mouth, praying that they didn't hear me. When no one burst into my chambers, I began to relax.

I waited a moment to compose myself before I started listening again.

"I know you do. And I appreciate that. You're not a warrior and you have no combat skills, but you still put yourself in danger for him," Gwen said. I looked at the door confused. What in the world did I miss? It seemed their conversation had entirely shifted gears and I was struggling to find the connection between the two.

"Arthur didn't tell you?" I heard Merlin ask.

I racked my brain. What did I forget to tell Gwen? I mean I didn't go into minute details, but I gave her a brief overview of our travels. I couldn't think of anything I didn't tell her.

"Didn't tell me what?" Gwen asked.

"I'm sorry. If I had known he hadn't told you, I would have told you sooner. Gwen, this may come as a bit of a surprise, but…" Merlin started to say. There was a long pause. What did he want to tell her? "You're going to hate me." There was another long pause. I was entirely lost. What were they talking about? "I am a sorcerer. I have magic."

Now I really was confused. I absolutely told Gwen Merlin was a sorcerer; in fact, I was pretty sure it was one of the first things I said to her. I also felt a pang of pain for Merlin. He really struggled to tell Gwen that. Hatred of magic was embedded so deeply into Camelot that even after my promise, it was still difficult for him to be open about it.

I was lost in my thoughts for a while. Then I heard Gwen chuckle, pulling me from my reverie.

"I should be getting to bed now. Thank you for talking to me," I heard Gwen say. I ran back to our bed and only had just laid down when Gwen opened the door.

She got back to our bed and lay down. After a few minutes, I heard her breathing slow down as she fell asleep. I did not have the same luxury. No matter what I did, I could not fall asleep.

I quietly got out of bed, careful not to wake Gwen. I was planning on walking around the castle or doing something to tire me out. But when I walked out of my chambers, Merlin was sitting on the ground.

I found myself, for the second time that night, wondering why Merlin was outside my chambers.

He had been dozing off, but when he heard the door open, he looked up alert. "Ah. I was wondering when you would come out my lord.” 

What? Was he expecting me?

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 18: Fear and Reassurance ~

-- Merlin --

When Gwen went back into their chambers, I didn't move. I knew it wouldn't be long before Arthur came out, and Gwen really gave me a lot to think about. I was trying to think about how to bring up the changes in Gwen to Arthur without Arthur wanting to take off my head.

I rested my head against the wall. I wasn't going to sleep; I was resting my eyelids.

I jerked awake when I heard the door to Arthur's chambers close.

"Ah. I was wondering when you would come out," I told him amused.

"You say that like you knew I would be here," Arthur accused.

"Someone doesn't bother Gaius night and day while I'm unconscious if he doesn't need something," I pointed out. Seriously, sometimes he really underestimated my intelligence.

"How do you know I wasn't just worried? Good manservants are hard to come by," he argued.

"Since when am I a good manservant?" He sighed and sat down across from me. When he didn’t even offer up a retort, I continued. "What's going on? I know you're not oblivious. You were so excited to see Gwen. When we got back you almost forgot about me when you saw her. What's changed?"

Arthur looked at me nervously and sighed. "Gwen is pregnant," he told me. Well that confirmed my suspicions.

"And?" I asked him.

"You knew?" Arthur asked me surprised

"I'm not blind. Gwen has clearly gained weight, but not like you have. She looks pregnant, not fat. And she's also a little on the hormonal side," I told him, remembering how emotional she was. I suspected it a little after she sat down to talk to me.

"I have not gained weight," Arthur protested.

I ignored his comment. I didn't even know how many times I'd had to get his belt replaced because it ran out of room for extra notches. "What's wrong with Gwen being pregnant? You still have what? Five or six months to prepare for a baby," I reminded him. "Don't tell me you don't think you're ready. If you can protect all of the people of Camelot you can take care of a child. And it can’t be your fears over being a father because you have proven to be kind, merciful, and compassionate. So, what is your problem?” I was harsher than I meant to be, but I knew from experience he tended to respond better to hostility than hand-holding.

He looked at me with an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "What if Gwen doesn't make it?" He asked me quietly. I could see how much this was bothering him and, knowing his love for Gwen, it was probably the thing he was scared about the most.

I stared at Arthur for a moment, carefully considering his question. "Arthur, just because your mother didn't make it, doesn't mean Gwen won't. And judging by the fact that one, magic is not allowed in Camelot and two that you weren't expecting her to be pregnant, I'm going to say that Gwen is in a very different situation than your own mother. Gwen is young, so she's strong. She will be fine," I told him.

"How can you know that?" He asked me desperately.

"I can't for sure. But I know that I will do everything within my power to make sure she's okay," I told him.

Arthur looked a little relieved. "Thank you, Merlin," he told me.

I smiled down at the floor. I’d been unprepared for the gratitude. It was embarrassing, yet made me feel really proud of myself. It was an odd mix of feelings, but a welcome one. "Any time," I told him.

"So you stayed out here in a cold, hard corridor just so you could talk to me?" Arthur asked me.

"I figured I would save you the trouble of having to walk to Gaius's chambers," I told him with a shrug.

"You do a lot more than I give you credit for," Arthur told me. "Thank you."

"Two thank you's in one night. This must be my lucky night," I told him jokingly.

Arthur rolled his eyes at me. "Don't get used to it. I'm simply too tired to think straight right now," he told me.

I chuckled slightly.

We sat in the corridor in silence for a while. "You know Merlin," Arthur said, breaking the silence. "I was thinking of having a public audience tomorrow to announce Guinevere's pregnancy. I think that might be the perfect time for another announcement."

I looked at Arthur, my eyes widening. We had talked about magic being legalized, but I wasn't expecting it so soon. Talking about it and it actually happening are two very different things. "Are… are you sure?" I asked. I could hear a tremble in my voice.

"Absolutely. I think you've proven yourself enough these past few days. Before we make that announcement to the public, I would like to tell all of my men. That way if the people do not react well, my knights can protect you," Arthur told me.

"And if they don't react well?" I asked him. “Some of them have been in your service for a long, long time. They fought to end the reign of magic. I doubt they’ll welcome it back with open arms.”

Arthur looked at me as if he hadn't considered that. "They will be fine with it; they trust my judgement," Arthur assured me.

Arthur looked away from me for a moment. "It's almost time for them to wake. In a few minutes, I want you to send word that I’m requesting an audience with every knight of Camelot," he told me.

I nodded nervously. I had been looking forward to this moment for as long as I could remember, but now that it was here, I was terrified. “Okay then.” My voice sounded squeaky, and I coughed to clear it. It didn’t help. “I can do that.”

"Don't be such a girl Merlin," Arthur told me, rolling his eyes. “Everything will be fine.” 

I groaned as I stood up. It was time.

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 19: The Gathering ~

-- Gwaine --

There was a knock on my door. I heard the door open and the sound of footsteps. "Who the hell is at my door at this ungodly hour?" I asked, throwing my boot at whoever entered.

"It's good to see you too," I heard a voice say. A voice I had long convinced myself I would never hear again. I sat up abruptly.

I opened my eyes and saw Merlin standing before me. He was bandaged and looked paler than usual, but other than that, he looked good. Healthy. "You're alive?" I asked uncertainly.

"No, I'm a ghost here to haunt you," Merlin said sarcastically.

I chuckled. I've missed his sense of humor. "It's good to see you… not dying," I told him. I really studied him. There were bags under his eyes; he must be exhausted.

"It's good to see you too… You seem almost sober," Merlin teased.

"Almost sober? You must know a different Gwaine," I told him. "I'm never sober."

I got out of bed and walked closer to Merlin to embrace him. I wasn't going to be the only man excited to see him alive and well. Arthur’s worry had seeped over to us over the last few days. It was almost as if we couldn’t rest easy knowing our king couldn’t rest easy. "What are you doing here at this hour?" I asked him.

"Isn't it enough to want to see my friend?" Merlin asked innocently.

I shook my head. "You know better," I told him.

Merlin grinned. "You know me well. Arthur wants to meet with all his knights," he explained nervously. There was a strange look in his eyes, one I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"When?" I asked him.

"I figured you would want your sleep, so I woke you last," Merlin told me. "The meeting is in a few minutes."

"Give me a minute," I groaned. I forced myself to put myself together. Get dressed. Ignore hangover. Go with Merlin.

I followed Merlin to the throne room.

I joined the throngs of the knights and I was surprised when Merlin didn't disappear into the background. Instead, he stood next to Arthur and Gwen.

Merlin looked terrified. What was going on with him? He was quiet the entire way here. I was starting to think something was wrong with him. Merlin was never quiet.

Arthur whispered to him and Merlin took a deep breath. A look of determination crossed over him as he looked at Arthur and nodded. What was that about?

Arthur cleared his throat and everyone fell silent. "I have called you all here, because in a few short hours, I will be making an announcement of immense importance to my people. I fear for the safety of the person the announcement concerns," Arthur said. I looked at him confused. This had to be about Merlin, but what could possibly be dangerous to him? "I need each of you to keep an open mind with what I am about to tell you… or show you."

I wasn't the only knight confused now. What did he mean by show us? Merlin was shaking again. "Before I do anything, I want you to think hard about something. Do you trust Merlin? Who here among us does not trust him? If you believe Merlin to be untrustworthy, please step forward," Arthur said.

He gave us several minutes, but no one stepped forward. Everyone here trusted Merlin with their lives. Merlin's loyalty and dedication to Arthur couldn’t be rivaled. As I looked at the fear in Merlin’s face, I realized that he didn’t understand that; he didn’t recognize how much we depended on him.

Suddenly, I needed Merlin to know that. He needed to know how much he meant to us. I stepped forward. I could literally see betrayal hit Merlin. "My lord," I said. "May I address the court?"

Arthur fixed me with a stony expression. I thought a king was supposed to be open minded; here he was, jumping to the incorrect conclusion. "That is your right," he said in an even voice.

"I trust Merlin with my life. I am stepping forward now, not because I deem Merlin untrustworthy but because I think it's important for you to understand his worth. Merlin is a simple servant," I said. Arthur chuckled at that, which I thought was rude, but I wasn't about to insult the king. What surprised me was the amused expression on Merlin's face. Oh well. I would think about that later. "He has come with us everywhere. He has put himself in danger time and time again to make sure one of us got out safely or to make sure you got to safety. I don't know a man who is braver or more loyal than Merlin. And I don't know anyone more worthy of our trust."

There were cries of agreement from around me as several seconded my words or added words of their own. Tears shone in Merlin's eyes. I honestly couldn’t believe Merlin didn’t realized how much he was appreciated. I realized that we seldom thanked him or showed gratitude and I made a mental note to start being more expressive with that. If I’d learned anything over the last few days, it was that life was fragile and fleeting. I needed to do a better job of appreciating what I had and the second chance I’d been given.

"I want you to remember that. All of you claim to trust Merlin. I just hope you can prove it," Arthur said. There was a strange expression on his face. He almost looked like he was scared for Merlin. I was getting antsy waiting for whatever this mystery was to be revealed.

Arthur took a step back and looked at Merlin. He put his hand on his shoulder. "Your turn," he told him.

Merlin took a step forward. He looked so scared he was shaking. He cleared his throat a couple of times before he said in a clear voice, "Fruom fiorgiftum."

He held up his hand so we could all see, though it wasn’t necessary. Even from where we stood, we could see the light that suddenly illuminated his face. I stared at him shocked, hardly able to process the impossible truth in front of me. I heard gasps echo throughout the chamber, but they sounded like they were coming from the end of a tunnel. I didn’t know how anyone was capable of making a sound; I was silent as a mouse. Even if I wanted to, I didn't think I would be able to make a sound. It wasn't possible. In Merlin's hand there was an undeniably magical floating sphere of light. I looked up at Merlin's frightened face; fear that I was certain reflected in many of our faces. I felt instinct rival with what I knew of Merlin. How was it possible that Merlin was a sorcerer?

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 20: Sir Merlin ~

-- Merlin --

I could feel eyes boring into me; I could hear the gasps; I could sense the disbelief and incredulity around me. I waited for someone to say something; for someone to say anything, really. Anything would be better than the silence and stares. I needed them to have a reaction. I needed to know whether I was safe.

I didn't know how Arthur did it. I felt like I was going to turn to ash and crumble to the floor under their stares, yet Arthur did this every day. I'll admit, he'd never confessed he was a sorcerer to a room filled with men trained to kill sorcerers, but still. He constantly stared people down and made declarations that he knew would upset a multitude of people.

I waited and waited and waited. I was barely able to breath and I knew Arthur was just as anxious as I was. He would use his power as king to force them to pardon me if need be, but I knew he didn't want to. He wanted them to accept me as I was. It was what I wanted as well.

My wait was finally broken as one knight drew his sword. It was Alistar. Alistar wasn't a particularly verbal knight; he did as he was told and was mostly content on staying in the background. The knights parted willingly to let him forward. I didn't think anyone knew what to say or what to do. They were watching Alistar curiously. I was too. I didn't know what he was going to do. I didn't know Alistar well, aside from a word here or there. He mostly kept to himself.

I was terrified. Was he planning on killing me? Arthur stepped forward so he was standing by my side, just in case.

Alistar pointed his sword at me. "You have betrayed Camelot. You are a sorcerer, therefore you are a traitor. For that, you must pay," he warned.

Arthur's hand rested on the hilt of the sword. He was ready to use it if need be.

As it turned out, he didn't have to. Gwaine stepped forward, placing himself between Alistar and me. His sword was also drawn, but he wasn't facing me. He was facing Alistar.

"Merlin has not betrayed Camelot," he proclaimed loudly. "If he had, do you think the king would be standing at his side, ready to protect him?" He turned slightly so he was still between us, but was addressing all of the knights. "You know Merlin. Merlin wouldn't hurt Arthur or Camelot. I didn't know before today that Merlin had magic, but now it makes sense. Quests that were just too easy. Things that shouldn't have gone right that did. Merlin did that. He used his magic for good, not bad." He turned back to Alistar. "If you try to go through Merlin, you will have to go through me."

"So be it. Harboring a traitor shares the same punishment," Alistar said angrily. He hardly knew me. How could he hate me enough to try and kill one of his fellow knights?

He lifted up his sword, ready to strike. His blow was not blocked by Gwaine, but by Percival. "You will not hurt him," he said in a strong voice.

Slowly all of the knights joined Percival and Gwaine, forming a human shield between me and Alistar. I felt a burst of warmth. All of these people were willing to protect me.

Arthur stepped forward. "Merlin is not a traitor. He has saved my life more times than I can count. He has my full faith and I hope you will give him yours," Arthur told him.

"How could you of all people put your faith in him? You lost your father to a sorcerer. You're land and your people have been hurt by sorcery," Alistar said. "Merlin deserves to die."

"Because Merlin isn't like those sorcerer's," Arthur insisted. He drew his sword and stepped forward. "You will not kill him."

"Stop me," Alistar said in a nasty voice. Arthur stepping forward left an opening right to me and Alistar saw it. Unfortunately for him, he was used to the 'sorcerers' Uther persecuted. Most had about as much magic as Arthur. I was not like those sorcerers. I had powers. And I had no intention of dying.

Just as Alistar's sword was about to pierce me, I sent him flying backwards. I was careful not to kill him. I didn't want to lose what little faith the knights had in me.

Several knights froze as Alistar got to his feet. He may be a little winded, but he was not hurt. "Do you see what he did? He attacked me! Yet you stand by his side and protect him," Alistar yelled.

To my surprise, Arthur was not the next person to speak. It was Sir Leon. "Merlin was not the one to initiate the attack. What did you want him to do? Let you kill him? And if anything, Merlin just proved he deserves to live. He did not kill you. You are not injured at all. Your blow could have been fatal," Leon said.

Alistar picked up his sword, but I made him drop it. I made the sword glide across the floor until it was resting in front of the knights. He glared at me. "You will soon get the justice you deserve," he spat.

"And so will you," Arthur said. "Arrest him."

Two of the guards eagerly complied. "On what charges?" Alistar asked angrily.

"Attempted murder of a knight," Arthur told him.

I stared at Arthur. I was no knight. "He is not a knight," Alistar echoed the thought running through my head.

Arthur looked at me. "The sword, please Merlin," he requested. I stared at him shocked.

"Are you sure?" I asked him uncertainly.

Arthur nodded. I made the sword float into Arthur's waiting hand. "Kneel," he ordered me.

I kneeled before him. Time passed in a haze. I couldn't believe this. Arthur was knighting me. Before I knew what was happening, Arthur pressed the sword to both of my shoulders. "Rise, Sir Merlin, knight of Camelot," he proclaimed.

The knights whistled and cheered, well all except one. Alistar was seething. "He is not worthy of being a knight," he yelled.

"A knight of Camelot must be loyal, brave, and fierce. Merlin is all of those. He deserves this, more than yourself. Take him away," Arthur decreed.

Two guards escorted Alistar to the dungeons. There was a long, long silence. It was a bittersweet moment to have the support of most of his men shown only because of one man that despised me.

"Does anyone else have a problem with Merlin?" Arthur asked. No one spoke up. I couldn't help my grin. This was the first step. I was fulfilling my destiny. "Good. It's time to let the people of Camelot know."

Chapter Text

~ Chapter 21: Free Fall ~

-- Arthur --

It pained me to have to arrest Alistair, but it had to be done. He tried to kill Merlin. I admit, my knighting Merlin may have been a little impulsive, but it was long overdue. Merlin should have been knighted a long time ago.

I didn't regret my decision. I am glad I knighted him and granted him the protections and rights of all of my men; I just regret that Alistar was too stubborn to accept Merlin. I regret that he was knighted under these circumstances and didn’t receive the proper ceremony or celebration he deserved. I decided then and there that we would find a way to celebrate this moment.

I was so pleased that, aside from Alistar, my knights accepted Merlin. Merlin was close with most of them. They had one of the relationships that you can't help but form when you're constantly put in life threatening circumstances together. They were friends. And they were able to see past Merlin's magic and realize that he was still Merlin.

I broke the silence. "Does anyone else have a problem with Merlin?" I asked. No one spoke up. No one had to. They had all stood up in defense of Merlin before. They had all stood by while I knighted him.

I gave them a moment to really consider my question. When no one spoke up I continued. "Good. It's time to let the people of Camelot know," I told them.

"My lord?" Gwaine asked me, confused.

"Well I can't very well legalize magic and not tell my people," I told him.

"I know; I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon," he told me.

"I think poor Merlin has waited long enough," I said.

"Poor Merlin?" Merlin said, trying to sound indignant.

I chuckled. "I've arranged an audience that will be held in the courtyard. All people of Camelot are welcome to come and I believe all of them will be there," I told everyone. "Will you help me protect Merlin? Will you help me make sure he's safe?"

"With all due respect my lord, I don't really think Merlin needs our protection," Gwaine said. "I really think he can take care of himself. That being said, I will stand by your side."

"As will I," Leon added.

"And I," Percival said.

Soon all of my knights had agreed to stand by us. I smiled at them. I knew Merlin could take care of himself. I saw it about half an hour ago. I just felt better knowing that someone else had his back.

We walked out to the spacious balcony. Some of my knights came with me, Gwen, and Merlin, but most went out to the courtyard to disperse themselves among the people.

As Gwen and I walked out, we were met with cheers from our people.

As the cheers died down, I cleared my throat. "Hello, people of Camelot. Today, I have you gathered to witness some very important news. Today is a happy day for Camelot," I said loudly. "Queen Guinevere is pregnant with an heir to Camelot. In six months time, we will be blessed with a child." This, of course, was news to my knights, so their enthusiasm was not feigned. The excitement of my people was insurmountable. They were excited that Camelot would have an heir. I guess I could understand their excitement. They went several days believing that there would be no one to take the throne when Gwen died. Who knows what would have happened to Camelot if that happened?

Gwen waved to the people. She was as pregnant women often were, but it was more than that. She was glowing. I didn't think I'd ever seen a more beautiful sight than Gwen right then. I smiled as I studied her. I knew after this, I would have to talk to her. I would have to tell her why I was scared and I would have to tell her I'm not scared anymore. But for now, I was letting her enjoy her moment. I was going to let her bask in the cheers of our people. Because they were not cheering for me; they were cheering for her. I really didn't have to do much for that baby to be made. Gwen had the hard part. Looking at her now, I felt a pang in my heart with the knowledge that I’d done anything to hurt her, whether it be intentional or not.

That conversation would have to wait because we weren’t done here. "I have one more announcement to make," I told my people. They stopped talking, eager to hear more news. "This announcement may come as a bit of a shock, but I assure you that there is no danger."

I could see my people talking to one another, confused about what I was talking about. I didn't know how to tell my people that magic was no longer outlawed in this kingdom. Might as well just say it. "As you know, magic is outlawed in Camelot. That is not the case anymore," I said loudly. That silenced them. I saw them exchange uneasy glances. "There was a sorcerer that saved my life. He has shown me that magic is not good or bad. People are good or bad. If someone doesn't abuse magic or use it for evil, then there is a place for them in Camelot. But like any weapon, if it is abused or used incorrectly, the consequences will be severe, possibly even treasonous and will be tried as such."

"You will regret this," I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned, shocked to see Alistar. He was supposed to be detained. He must have fought off the guards… or he escaped. We had a frustratingly long history of egress from our prisons. I guessed I shouldn't be surprised.

What I was surprised to see was him charging towards me. He hit me with his shoulder, causing me to tumble over the balcony. All I was aware of was the uncomfortable sense of falling as the ground got closer. In a split second, I lost all rational thought and I was entirely consumed by the very real possibility that I was falling to my death.

In the back of my head, I heard Merlin yell, "Raedee asce geotan!" I heard it, but I didn’t process what it meant until I froze, suspended in air. I sighed in relief. I could hear gasps from my people, but I was a little preoccupied by the very strange feeling of floating in midair to give their gasps much thought. "Lyft sy be in baelwylm ac forhienan se widere." A gust of air came by, pushing me into a standing position. At least I wasn't going to hit the ground head first anymore. Slowly, Merlin lowered me to the ground.

When my feet touched down to the ground, a huge sense of relief washed over me. I was safe. I looked up to see three knights restraining Alistar and I saw Merlin was standing on the very edge of the balcony. He looked exhausted but pleased with himself.

"Thank you, Sir Merlin," I said in a loud voice. Then I did something that had never happened before. Part of being a king is that you kneel before no man. I kneeled before Merlin. This showed my people that Merlin was to be trusted, that Merlin was a friend; more than that, I showed them he was my equal.

It seemed like my actions set off a chain reaction. First one person knelt, then another, then another. Soon almost every person in Camelot was kneeling before Merlin.

I didn't need to look up to know that there would be tears in Merlin's eyes and a smile on his face. I didn't need to look up to realize that my people supported my decision.

In that moment, I understood what Merlin had been saying. It was my destiny to be a great king. Part of being a great king was not only knowing when to be a leader, it was knowing when to step back and give credit to other leaders. Merlin always spoke of his destiny and how it was his destiny to shape me to be the king this land deserved; I was starting to think that he was part of my destiny as well. Perhaps it was my destiny to ensure that he got to thrive in a world built for him. I had never felt closer to my destiny.

Chapter Text

~ Epilogue ~

-- Arthur --

Gwen groaned and pushed me out of bed. "He's your son," she grumbled before she rolled over, cocooning herself in blankets.

Of course. When it was convenient for Gwen, he was my son. Whenever any of my children did something wrong, they were my children, but when they were acting like little angels, they were her children. Oh, the injustice. I might have told Gwen that, but she was at a stage in her pregnancy where I didn't want to irritate her more than necessary.

I sat up, pushing off the cold floor to get to my feet. I stretched and groaned. "Merlin!" I yelled, trying to sound stern but not entirely able to mask the affection in my voice.

I heard a small giggle from behind the curtain. The kind of giggle only a small boy could make. I couldn't keep up the stern look on my face. Sure, he woke me up at an ungodly hour, forcing my very pregnant and hormonal wife to push me out of bed, but I just couldn't stay mad at my son. It was impossible.

"Hmmm…" I said. "I wonder where my son is." As I walked closer to the spot by the curtain, I could hear his giggling increase.

I pushed aside the curtain, exposing my four year old son. He was smiling up at me cheekily. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. He had Gwen's hair, but my eyes. I eyed him suspiciously. "Where's your brother?" I asked him. Those two were rarely separated, preferring to wreak havoc on the kingdom together rather than separately.

"Where do you think he was?" I heard a tired voice behind me ask. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me.

I turned to see Merlin standing there, his hair disheveled and his eyes still full of sleep. In his arms was a giggling four year old, identical to his twin brother.

"I just wanted to see my Uncle Merlin," Elyan said in an innocent voice.

"I'm sure you did," Merlin said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. You could see the love and affection in his face. He loved my children almost as much as I did. He turned to face me. "Your children are such miscreants," he teased me.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I wonder who they learned it from," I told him sarcastically. They have seen Merlin use his magic to cause so much mayhem. It fascinates them.

Merlin's eyes widened in mock innocence. "I know you're not implying that I, Merlin, would ever corrupt your children," he said.

"I'm not implying anything. I'm saying it straight to your face," I told him amused.

Merlin opened his mouth to say something back to me when he was distracted by a little four year old sneaking up behind him and tightly wrapping his arms around one of Merlin's legs.

Merlin put Elyan down who immediately ran over to me, giggling like he got away with something. Merlin gently picked up the toddler clutching his leg. When he realized he was being picked up, he loosened his grip around Merlin's leg.

"Hey Mer," Merlin said affectionately, ruffling his hair. Of all my children, Merlin had a particular soft spot for him. I could still remember the day he was born.

Smiling, I clutched Guinevere's hand. She was moaning and screaming, but I was filled with glee. It felt like years had passed since Gwen told me she was pregnant and finally, we were to meet our children. Gaius and Merlin were preparing for the baby that was coming. Usually a midwife would have delivered the baby, but Gwen wanted Merlin to do it. She trusted him and she knew if something went wrong with the baby or with herself, Merlin would be the best person to help.

I was so excited. I could barely feel the pain of Gwen’s nails digging into my hand. My mind was consumed by the child she was bringing into this world.

I saw Merlin wince as his hands went to where the baby would be coming out. I knew he was extremely uncomfortable with Gwen's request, but once Gwen and I joined forces, he agreed. "I see a head," he told Gaius.

" Watch where you're looking," I muttered to him.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Why don't you deliver this baby?" He asked sarcastically.

Anything I was going to say back was thrust from my mind as Gwen seized my hand and squeezed harder than she ever had before. She let out a scream that sounded like a strangled animal. 

" I know it hurts my lady, but you have to keep pushing," Gaius warned. He dabbed at her sweaty forehead with a damp washcloth.

Gwen's face scrunched up and one glorious scream later, a new scream entered the world. A new scream that meant a baby was born… our baby. I looked over at our child, in awe of what I saw. "It's a boy," Merlin told me. I couldn't focus on what Merlin was doing. I could only focus on the child, my son. The heir to Camelot.

Suddenly, Merlin handed the baby to Gaius and looked back at Gwen confused. His eyes widened. "You're not done yet," he whispered. I looked at him confused. What did he mean?

Gaius looked at Merlin. "Impossible," he said, shaking his head.

" Gaius, I'm telling you, there's another baby in here," Merlin told him. "Gwen I need you to push. This is going to be hard and I know you're tired, but I promise you, I will heal you when it's done. But for the baby, you have to do this."

A determined look crossed Guinevere's face. She scrunched up her face. It seemed like hours passed, but I know it was only a couple of minutes before Merlin's face broke out into a grin and another piercing scream filled the room. "Another boy," Merlin said. He quickly handed the baby to Gaius who began to clean him off. My other son was already clean and neatly wrapped in a small blanket, lying in a bassinet. I looked at Gwen fearfully. Her breathing was becoming ragged and her eyes were closed.

Merlin closed his eyes, put his hand on Gwen's stomach and started chanting. He spoke for almost a minute and when he finished, he opened his eyes in time for a flash of gold to spark in them. I couldn't see the changes happening to Gwen, but I could see the look of relief that fixed itself on her face. Her breathing evened out.

After a moment, she opened her eyes. "Thank you Merlin," she said in a tired voice.

I knew tears were streaming down my face, but I couldn't help it. Twins weren't unheard of, but they were rare. The mother's never survived. This was a first.

I held Gwen's hand tightly as I looked at our sons.

" You're going to have to refrain from any strenuous activities for a while," Merlin told Gwen. He glanced at me briefly and winked at me.

I could feel my face flushing as I picked up a book from a nearby table and hurled it at him. He stopped it in midair. "What?" he asked me innocently.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Sire, have you thought of any names?" Gaius asked me.

I smiled at Gwen softly. "We had decided if it was a boy, we were going to name him Elyan," I told him. "But for the other boy…"

" Arthur, you begged and begged and I told you it would be fine for our second son," Gwen reminded me. Her voice was still weak, but that was probably normal for someone who just gave birth.

" Merlin," I said.

" Yes?" Merlin asked.

" No, his name will be Merlin," I elaborated.

I turned in time to see the tears filling Merlin's eyes as he took in my words. He looked down at the small bundle in Gaius's arms. "Hi Mer," he whispered.

"What in the world are you smiling about?" Merlin asked me.

I shook my head, coming back to the present. "Nothing," I lied.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Right. And I'm not a sorcerer," he said sarcastically.

"Guys, I love you both, but I'm going to kill you if you don't leave," Gwen's grumpy voice came from our bed.

I chuckled. I knew it was an empty threat. Gwen would never leave the warmth of the bed to try to kill me.

She threw a pillow at me. I dodged out of the way, scooping up Elyan in the process. "We're leaving," I promised her.

"Don't come back without breakfast," she warned.

Merlin and I carefully left the chambers. The second the doors were closed behind us, we burst out laughing.

"Daddy, why is mommy mad at you?" Elyan asked me at the same time that Mer asked Merlin, "Uncle Merlin why is mommy mad at daddy?"

Merlin chuckled. "That would be because your father is-" Merlin started to say.

"Going to make us all breakfast," I interrupted. I didn't care for Merlin to insult me in front of my children. True that he usually stuck with cabbagehead in front of them, but still.

My children wiggled out of our hold and ran towards the kitchen giggling.

"Does this mean I should go wake up Elaine?" Merlin asked me amused.

"Are you kidding?" I asked him incredulously. "She's worse than her mother."

Elaine was my three year old daughter. She was a terror if she was woken up too early.

"But not worse than her father," Merlin said jokingly.

"I am not that bad," I protested.

"I remember you throwing many heavy objects at my head when I woke you up," Merlin pointed out.

"Well, you were annoying," I told him.

"Well you were a clot pole," Merlin retorted.

I glanced at Merlin and we burst out laughing again. Some things never changed. And I was okay with that.