Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Erin Gilbert wasn't really that sharp.

That's probably why she's always the one to get slimed.

She could complete and understand complex equations relating to physics and supernatural matter but she could not, for the life of her, understand the most obvious and basic things. Thus, she has not as of yet seen the glances Holtzmann was sending her, instead focusing on writing a research report on her newest findings relating to the PEV waves emitted by ghosts that would hopefully be added to her portfolio/binder/let's be real here it's a glorified, science-y scrapbook. When the music starts playing, she's too busy muttering long and drawn out complicated names for concepts that were quite simple.

When a pair of hands rested on her shoulders, though, that was enough to get her attention, and her back became ramrod straight.

"1, 2, 3 take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine!"

Realizing suddenly that it was most likely just Holtzmann dancing she relaxed, and when she felt a light shove, she noticed the nuclear engineer appear in front of her.

"4, 5, 6, come on get your kicks now you don't need money with a face like that do ya honey?" Holtzmann looked at her, no, stared right into her eyes as she winked, and the Physicist felt a blush rise to her cheeks, she returned to her report, shaking herself out of her stupor. Really, this report needed to be finished.

She hadn't known at the time but it was just beginning because not more than ten seconds later she felt a kick to her shoes, her very sensible, flats mind you.

"Big black boots"

A hand picking up her hair and playing with it. She knew she didn't spend a lot of time doing her hair but she still didn't like people touching it. Why would she?

"Long brown hair"

And then, a grinning face right next to hers. She jumped away. Why was Holtzmann making it so hard to work?

"She's so sweet with her, get back stare!"

With another whirl the blonde catapulted herself away from Erin, and went to bother Kevin, who sat at his desk trying to figure out how to frame photos of himself.

In a fake conversation she pretended to have with the man, she passionately mouthed the next part of the song, and Erin could feel eyes on her while she herself didn't know what to feel.

"Well I could see, you home with me, but you were with another man, yea!"

"Why are you poking me?" Kevin cried, looking kerfluffled.

"I know we ain't got, much to say, before I let you get away, yea!"

Holtzmann was back in front of her, grinning like a madwoman, looking at her with wild eyes and her always wild hair.

"I said, are you gonna be my girl?"

And then she left, and if Erin were a bit brighter, and a bit more like the sharpest tool in the shed, she would have realized that this was the beginning.

Chapter Text

"So y'all, welcome to the newest testing session, here we have our newest, beautiful collection." Holtzman proudly placed her hands on her hips, goggles on and hair askew.

On the table there was a multitude of guns, probably around 20, and a few smaller devices. Next to the table were two bins.

"These guns," she gestured to the far left corner group, "are only testable by me, cause chances are, the radiation could cook you inside out or cause you to lose your hair, I don't know which happens yet, but the rest are all good, and I color coded them by accessibility level thanks to Abby's last suggestion on having "more safety" and that "we need safety lights Holtzman even if they are for men". Green means it should only affect ghosts, orange means don't aim it at anyone so you don't end up in jail, red means you should be at least thirty feet away."

She got a few looks.

"So you don't get singed." She grinned and flicked her eyebrows up and down. Erin wondered for a second if her hair was so askew from all the tech she dealt with, but didn't dwell on it.

"The right bin is for good stuff we can use and the left bin is for things I still need to work on. Let's get crackin'"

Abby was the first to try one from the red category, and much like last time very easily misjudged the danger of the weapon. Instead of being flung into the air, she was flung into a wall.

"Jesus Holtz what do you put into these things? Pain?"

"And food crumbs."

Patty tried one next, also being adventurous and choosing one from the red category. She took a cautious stance, closed her eyes, and aimed at a bottle 50 feet away from her at the end of the alley.

"You got this Patty you got this Patty you can do this Patty!" She pulled the trigger and a small bullet pierced the glass.

"Holtzy why was this red it didn't do any-" She dropped to the ground as the bottle exploded, causing flames to rise above the sides of the buildings next to them.

Patty was clearly distressed and yelled, "Why do you do this? What if that accidentaly went off in someone's pocket? They'd turn into a human torch? Why...I mean just why... do we need this?"

"Well Patty, I seem to recall a giant possessed balloon in the past. Gotta cover your bases."

"That is not a base you cover! A knife took that out, this could take out a car!"

"See now that is another base I forgot to cover. Thanks for pointing that out."

"I...I'm done. Let's just move on I don't want to talk about this anymore." Patty threw the weapon in the do not use bin.

They fiddled around for a while, putting weapons they thought would be useful in one bin and those they didn't, in another. Those were the worst of the red ones, and some of the red ones didn't even work to begin with.

Nearly all of the reds had been put into the don't use bin, a quarter of the oranges, and none of the greens. The ones Holtzman herself tested she rated herself. But when Erin sparred a glance at her paper and saw, in the rating column, pictures of various snack foods, she quickly became worried for their future safety. Nothing she used blew up though, so that was a good sign.

There were two weapons left when Abby picked up one with a purple stripe.

"Hey Holtz? What does a purple stripe mean again?"

"Erin only." She didn't look up from her food based rating system as she struggled to draw a Pringles chip next to what looked like a grenade.

"Huh?"

"Only Erin can use those."

Abby gave her a weird glance, but knew she probably shouldn't question the logic, and handed the small gun over to the physicist.

"Here you go I guess"

And when she fired it and felt the satisfying explosion shake through hew from her feet up her spine, a smile spread across her face before she could stop herself.

And a smile spread across Holtzman's too.