Look what a coincidence: when I saw your reply to a comment of mine, I had “Just Because You've Done It Before Doesn't Mean You'll Do It Better” open in another tab. I had already read the notes, yesterday or the day before, but I intended to read only when I completed some tasks. Anyway, I've spent the last few days pondering whether I should read here first or re-read Suspented Bridges, but I think it's more practical to go this way and follow the release of chapters and re-read SB slowly.
I have to say that just reading the notes I realized that this story seems challenging. Getting the characterizations right has always been one of the things I've found most challenging in writing fanfic, and it's also why I've never really enjoyed writing using existing characters. We read fanfic because we like the canonical version of the characters and probably some fandom headcanons. Living up to it is difficult. So I can't even imagine what it's like to write the '83 version of Eddie and the '86 version of Steve living in '83. Despite this, your care in leaving these notes, making it clear that they will not be identical to the 4th season, and clarifying some things already makes it clear that there is a concern to make a coherent representation within the new context.
To be honest, the part that caught my attention the most when I saw the post notification was Steve's secondary gender change and wondering how that will resonate with his personality and relationships with other characters. How significant is this going to be for building his and Eddie's relationship? If he was an alpha, would he still like Eddie? Will he start to like Eddie while he still thinks he's going to be an alpha? Considering your care in writing SB, I fully trust that you don't end up falling into a sexist and heteronormative trap. Even if Steve just opens his eyes to Eddie being an option after presenting himself as an omega, I have no doubt that their relationship building will be good. So I'm excited and nervous about it all. On the one hand I know you'll do a good job building all the context that will trigger their relationship, on the other hand my brain goes round and round imagining the possibilities of how Steve will feel when he realizes he's not an alpha. Since the secondary gender is, well, something secondary that only appears in adolescence, I suppose it doesn't have the same impact as the primary(?) gender on people's identity, but it must be quite shocking to live as an alpha and then become an omega. I'm left wondering how this can relate to the trans experience, if Steve will feel trapped in an identity that has been imposed, if he ever felt that way, if he won't care. In addition to making me think of a “traditional” trans experience, it also makes me think of the film La Piel Que Habito, in which a character, Vicente, goes through a series of procedures to have the body and identity of a woman, Vera, although he does not identify as a woman. He was a cis man who was forced to live in a woman's body. Is Steve going to be someone who identifies as an alpha and is forced to live in the body of an omega? There are so many possibilities.
I wrote all this before reading the chapter. For now, I'll try to read at least half of it before stopping to comment, because I don't have much background on this specific story yet to ramble on about.
I haven't read half of it actually, but what the fuck? Steve found an angel? When I read about the six feathered rings I thought of all the biblical representations of angels, I was skeptical and then I read about the eyes. I did not expect it. By the way, you created a terrible atmosphere. It's kind of harrowing to read name after name of people who died. There were too many losses, so many that quoted like this they seem small and insignificant. A grain of sand on the beach. That's cool, because it acts as a reaffirmation of how tragic it all was.
How weird it is to read Steve looking so young. Reminds me of when I was 14. To think of someone looking like that, so young and small and thin having all those experiences and traumas and battles is horrible. It reminded me of Narnia too. I always found the whole narrative about growing up in Narnia and then returning to that world with the body of a child to be harrowing. It's very strange to have a body that doesn't keep up with all the lived experiences. Steve went back in time, so technically he can fix some things, but he's only going to fix it for the people of this reality, isn't he? He will always be a little disconnected from it, away. Mourning versions of these people that never existed and probably never will. Even if all the people who died are given another chance, all the trauma, the pain, the memories, all of that will still exist in Steve's mind. I can't even imagine how he's going to be able to connect with the rest of the world carrying such a heavy weight. He is literally wise beyond his years now.
I'm really curious about what kind of relationship Steve will have with his parents, if they're going to have the same names. For now, I'm thinking of them as Cynthia and Mark. I understand Steve wanting to win Nancy back. I imagine it's a lighter goal that might help him deal with the full weight of the situation, but part of me just thinks he's so silly for wanting that. It's the same thing I feel watching the show. Given everything that happened, I can't understand how he still wants to be with her, but I suppose even the fact that she was the last shred of normality he knew before the Upside Down might have some bearing on how much he clung to what he wanted. they had.
It will probably be a while before I read the next chapter, but I'm already nervous. The future around here looks scary, there are many expectations about what Steve can do and what he will lose being in a reality that does not follow who he is now.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment here! I really loved reading all your thoughts and your questions, it's clear you're really taking a lot of time to consider the implications of time travel and I just love how much you've thought about the potential for what could happen!
I'm glad you mentioned that these are different versions of both Steve and Eddie. It's been a really neat thing to explore as I've been writing; what are the things that are at the core of who these people are, and what are the things that are circumstantial? I think it's fun with Eddie in particular because his character is a bit more of a blank slate. We get hints to who he is and how he might've gotten where he did, but we didn't see him in the previous seasons and there's a lot to explore. I'm really excited to explore his character more here. I feel that in a lot of ways, SB was very Steve-central, but this is going to be a bit more Eddie-central...even though it is told from Steve's point of view and he'll have a lot going on.
The effect of Steve's time in the future is interesting for me to explore as well, from a psychological perspective. There's the element of "he's aware of all of these horrors from the future and used to being in a life or death scenario" mixed with the way people tend to revert back to how they were before when they enter the same environment again (like when you go home and suddenly you're falling back into those old family patterns). Mixed with brain development a bit, too, because is his brain the same or has it changed? His consciousness is the same but what about just like...brain development? PLUS he's got these blind spots where he's so used to being a big strong alpha, he can't really see himself as anything but that. So he doesn't really get it when people see him as something else. It's pretty fun to explore.
I like what you said about primary and secondary gender and the potential trans implications. It can definitely be a pretty sobering issue if considered through a trans lens. I've read a couple genderbend fics and omegaverse-switching-second-gender fics that took that route and I thought they were really good. This one won't take it in that way though, I hope that can relieve a bit of stress for Steve. It'll be more like some of the "wacky genderbending hijinks" stories I read when I was younger. Specifically probably a bit like "My Barbaric Girlfriend," A manga I read in high school. It portrays a manly girl and a girlish guy who switch bodies. Eventually, the story ends with the two choosing to stay in the body they've switched to, because it's become them and they're more comfortable that way. But until that point, there's a pretty big adjustment, especially for the guy who suddenly has to deal with all the issues that come from having a female body.
So, here, I think that secondary gender will be something that certain people are able to adjust to. I think there will be people who have a lot of dysphoria around their second gender being wrong...and I might end up exploring that with someone who isn't Steve. But for Steve, I think his soul's gender is a little transient, here. He didn't have dysphoria around being an alpha and he won't really have any painful dysphoria over being an omega. That said, there's still a lot to adjust to. There are things that are tough about being both a man and a woman, and in this universe, alpha & omega, and Steve will explore a bunch of that.
You're totally right about the Nancy thing. I think there's a big blind spot Steve has in regards for Nancy, and I think the blind spot largely lies in "What is this relationship doing for me?" It reminds me of the way casual stranger things fans talked about the stancy in season 4. There was a lot of approval for it where people were like, "well, Steve has changed! He's better than before, he's good enough for her now." Without really considering "Is Nancy good enough for Steve? Is this a relationship that would make them happy?" It was a lot more just centered around Steve's worth. So I think Steve's journey here with Nancy will mirror that a tiny bit.
Thank you so much for your comment! I'm so glad you decided to check out this fic :) And don't be too worried! Stuff is going to go off the rails a bit, sure, but there will be a happy ending!
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citrusfruitt on Chapter 1 Thu 20 Jul 2023 01:25AM UTC
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foresthearts on Chapter 1 Thu 10 Aug 2023 10:13PM UTC
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