Comment on Everyone, Alone: A Force of Love Interlude

  1. Denadareth on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 10:27AM UTC

    Look at you, you even got a title!

    After receiving a message from Za Heer to meet her on Tatooine. - is it just me or is part of this sentence missing?

    Daaaaamn, I'm so excited to see other people write for this!

    “If you think you can defeat me in combat, Za Heer, you’re in for a shock,” she muttered, her fingers tracing the edge of her lightsaber. - that's the Korra we know and love.

    Behind her, Naga whined and prodded Korra’s shoulder with her snout, shaking her out of her musings. She looked up at Korra with wide, wet eyes, as she always seemed to do when Korra let her anger get carried away, and Korra felt her rage slip away and she smiled sadly at her closest companion, scratching behind the vulptilla’s massive ears. - what a good girl!

    Asami probably wouldn’t have done it if she were in her right mind, surely? - surely. As evidenced by a couple thousand Korrasami fics on Ao3.

    See mum and dad…” - laughs in 'knows what will happen'.

    Force, how did the natives endure this? - they drink plenty of blue milk.

    Za Heer had never specified in his message exactly where in Mos Osnoe he had wanted to meet - I love it how many times in SW we have "meet me on Nar Shadda/somewhere" and then good luck :P so very good point.

    Slaves, perhaps a dozen of them, all shackled together at the arms and legs, all lined up next to each other, their heads bowed low - not a comment to this story but to general SW (and to be honest to most of SF) - is there any explanation how slaves are even a thing in a setting where droids probably would be cheaper and definitely more reliable and enduring?

    hulking, white-furred creature with four eyes, large claws and a tiny, trumpetlike mouth - Talz?

    Kriff, nope, that does it! Korra thought as she ran forwards, jostling people aside as she dashed towards the Hutts - that's Korra, coming to the correct conclusion how just rushing blindly won't help much and then doing it any way as impulse. Never change, Korra.

    wisted around in mid-air and activated her lightsaber with a snap-hiss - I always have problems describing the sounds a lightsaber makes.

    “W-we can’t…” the girl cried. “Our slave implants, they’ll blow if we try to escape!” - ooopsie.

    One of them snarled in Huttese. - huh, Korra understands Huttese. Clever girl.

    Great beginning ;) You know how I love stories where everything quickly goes to shit :P I mean, shavit :P

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    1. Durendal on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 10:40AM UTC

      I know! It's shocking, isn't it? :P

      Oh...whoops...somehow, this is *your* fault! :P

      Me especially of course? :P

      Always eager for a fight, huh?

      The best girl!

      Surely! XD

      What will happen? :0

      That's true, blue milk is very quenchy. Like cactus juice!

      I'm sure she'll find him no problem! :P

      Some people just like having slaves, I guess. I mean, it's not like the kind of slaves Jabba had could be substituted with droids...

      Yes, Talz! But they're supposed to still be unknown at this point in time.

      She probably never will :P

      I think snap-hiss is the common fan term, I'm sure I've seen it before.

      Whoops!

      It's a very common language, I think the second most in the galaxy?

      Thanks, glad you think so! :D

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      1. Denadareth on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 10:52AM UTC

        What will happen? :0 - things ;)

        That's true, blue milk is very quenchy. Like cactus juice! - loving it more already ;)

        I'm sure she'll find him no problem! :P - better Tatooine than NAr Shadda or Coruscant :P

        Some people just like having slaves, I guess. I mean, it's not like the kind of slaves Jabba had could be substituted with droids... - true, the Talz sex slaves :P

        Yes, Talz! But they're supposed to still be unknown at this point in time. - really? Oh, how come?

        I think snap-hiss is the common fan term, I'm sure I've seen it before. - good to know ;)

        It's a very common language, I think the second most in the galaxy? - another good to know thing ;)

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        1. Durendal on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 10:55AM UTC

          What kind of "things"? :0

          Go drink some blue cactus milk! :P

          True, at least he narrowed it down to a town!

          You and your weird kink! :P

          They're a very primitive species, they don't have spaceflight or hyperdrive. Actually, they're not even officially discovered until 15 BBY, so it's kind of a mystery how some of then even left their homeworld of Alzoc III.

          And now you do! :D

          Write that down! :P

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          1. Denadareth on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 10:56AM UTC

            They're a very primitive species, they don't have spaceflight or hyperdrive. Actually, they're not even officially discovered until 15 BBY, so it's kind of a mystery how some of then even left their homeworld of Alzoc III. - or maybe that's what they want you to think.

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            1. Durendal on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 10:57AM UTC

              Pffft, they're actually hyperintelligent and control the galaxy from the shadows? :P

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