Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Arya, come on, you’re gaining eyebags, go to bed.” Jason sighed at the girl who was fixated on watching another few episodes of Great British Bake Off.

“I don’t want to.” The girl muttered.

“Are you scared?” Jason asked, his voice calm and soft.

“Of what?” Arya asked defensively, shifting a bit on the couch before turning to look at him.

“Sleeping.” Jason was genuinely worried for her, she refused to sleep after the first night, she had woken up in a panic apologising for her kills. It took a while to calm her cries down. Jason could relate. Killing is never easy, killing never gets easy and never will, unless you’re a psychopath but you’re probably not.

“I want to go out.” Arya swung her feet off the couch standing up, taking a small stretch.

“Where are you going?” Jason glanced at her.

“To the rooftops.” She said, her eyes looking kind of distant.

“To see what?” Jason got up from the couch and switched off the TV.

“The stars.” Arya trudged to her room to grab a hoodie. Jason sighed and waited for her at the door.

“Where are you two going?” Damian popped out of his room, wearing his pyjamas, blinking sleep away.

“Stargazing.” Jason answered with a small smile.

“I would like to join.” Damian said quietly.

“Go get your jacket then.” Jason laughed lightly as he watched Damian scurry back into his room to get his jacket. After a while, Arya made her way out dressed in a light purple hoodie and some sweatpants, “Arya... it’s cold, go get your jacket.”

“Oh, my bad.” She disappeared back into her room to get her jacket.

It took a minute or so for both Damian and Arya to finally come out ready to go out, Jason really felt like he was a mother taking care of toddlers, he shook his head with a sigh and opened the door, “Everyone ready?”

“I guess?” Arya muttered.

“Let’s just go!” Damian pushed passed him, getting outside first, Arya followed right after him as Jason locked up.

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“I can’t see the stars with all this smog.” Arya frowned from where she was laying on the rooftops, between Jason and Damian.

“Then do something about it.” Damian hissed at her making her huff as she turned her arm into a staff, waving it around causing the smog to brush away into different directions and gently budging the clouds out the way to allow the twinkle of stars to finally be seen by the naked eye one again.

Three shooting stars blew past the sky as the three watched in silence, “you know,” Arya just had to break the silence, “I was told that shooting stars are actually creatures that tried to overhear what’s going on in heaven, but Angels shot them down with meteors. Ain’t that funny?”

“Ry, what the hell?” Jason asked turning his head to her.

“If you think about it, people are just like ‘oh! It’s a shooting star! Make a wish, hurry!’ But its actually creatures being launched by meteors.” Arya started to laugh.

“You didn’t have to share that and ruin peoples hopes.” Jason muttered.

“Don’t tell me you believe that nonsense, Akhi.” Damian piped up, sounding a bit amused.

“No, I don’t for your information. I have long lost belief in that.” Jason bit back, a scowl curling on his lips.

“It would be crazy if you did, Jay.” Arya said with a matching amused smile.

“Well I don’t! End of!”

“Ooh someone’s getting angry, isn’t that right, Dames?” Arya turned to look at Damian with a cheeky grin.

“Oh yes, quite defensive, I must say.” Damian grinned, giving Arya a high five.

“Wow. It really is your own people.” Jason rolled his eyes.

“Cry-“

“-About it.” Damian finished, causing Arya to delve into another fit of laughter.

“So mature.” Jason narrowed his eyes.

After a while, Arya’s laughter died down, she glanced at the sky, zoning out a bit. The silence resumed as she watched the stars twinkle. Stars are funny balls of fire, just shining their flames in the night with all their might. They were truly beautiful things, hot and flashy. Dangerous for a human to touch, maybe they were like that because they don’t want to be touched by anyone. Arya thinks that no one should be touched when they don’t want to be touched too. She thinks that’s a valid enough reason to not want to be touched.

However, uninvited entitled guests will always never listen. They never do. Like the thoughts in her head that slowly coalesced her ears, blocking out all the sounds she wanted to hear and replacing them with screams and cries and laughter. Arya didn’t like that. She never wanted to hear those again, but her thoughts did what they wanted. That’s all she could hear even in her sleep. Hell, if she could even call those blinks sleep.

“Ry?” Jason’s voice echoed through her head. Snapping her out of whatever place she had wandered off to.

Arya sat up, rubbing her eyes, “what do you want?” Arya muttered.

“You weren’t responding.” Damian said quietly. “What were you doing?”

“Mmm… that’s a good question.” Arya said shifting to crossing her legs. “Oh. I have a question.”

“Go on then.” Jason waited, bringing his arms behind his head from where he was laying down on the rooftop.

“Is it bad that I loved killing them, like hearing their screams for a change?”

Jason paused looking over at Arya before sharing a look with Damian.

“That’s a hard question to answer.” Jason admitted, glancing at her. “But you did it to save yourself, right?”

“In a way.” Arya said, starting to play with the sleeve of her coat.

“What do you mean by that?” Damian asked, his eyes looking at her curiously.

“There… was something… that happened.” Arya shifted slightly, looking up at the night sky once again. So dramatic, innit? Sorry. Sorry. Back to the story- Arya watched as the stars twinkled again. “If that didn’t happen… I wouldn’t have killed anyone. I don’t think I would have gotten out.” Arya confessed. It was true. If Rosie had not been brutally murdered in front of her. If she hadn’t seen the girl’s brain matter on the ground. If she hadn’t seen the poor baby die. Arya would have stayed there, she would have kept trying to push herself to keep living and surviving.

“What did happen?” Jason asked after a while, leaving her room to not want to answer his question if she wanted to. He wouldn’t pry or pressure her at all.

“They killed my Angel.” Arya said, her eyes looking dead, the sparkle of joy and excitement she had in her eyes faded for a moment.

“You’re angel?” Damian shifted closer to the girl, curious on who this angel was. 

“She was a sweet pure little child. She didn’t know how bad the world could be.” Arya laid back down on the rooftop. “I really hate people.”

“…no, you don’t.” Damian nudged himself right into her side. Arya wrapped an arm around him.

“Maybe I want to, but I just can’t because I love them too much to not care.” Arya sniffed, brushing a hand over her eye, damn those traitorous tears.

“Maybe.” Jason agreed. “Maybe you love people too much, making you wish  they loved you enough back to care about you the same way you care about them.” A truth Arya hated to think about.

Some people deserved the world, and some people deserve nothing.

That’s how the world worked, it was unfair. No one can always get what they want. That’s just something you have to live with.

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They got ice cream. Arya was feeding her long-starved addiction with some strawberry shortcake ice cream while Damian and Jason got vanilla. Nothing could go wrong with vanilla ice cream.

“You guys don’t understand how hard life is with sisters.” Arya said scooping the last of her ice cream.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.” Jason said licking some ice cream off his spoon.

“You may think living with me in the house is hard-“

“You said that not me.” She was cut off by Jay with a cheeky grin, Damian sniffling a snort.

“Ugh, shut up.” Arya rolled her eyes. “Anyways, my sisters were horrible rats, I remember coming back from a hot and humid day at school, I had left a drink in the fridge for days to actually cool down because they heat in the UK was disgusting cuz how are you telling me I take two steps outside and I’m dying?”

“Maybe carry a water bottle next time?” Damian suggested.

“That’s just extra luggage I don’t want to carry when I can steal water from my friends’ bottle at school, plus my bag was heavy with books.”

“Then take out the books.” Jason said as if it was common knowledge.

“Hey, I have no lockers like over here. Our school had them but then they took them away. So yeah, that was not an option, okay?!” Arya glared at him.

“Damn, my bad then.” Jason muttered, scooping more ice cream.

“Back to the story- anyways, I left the drink in the fridge to cool and was dying to drink it. I kicked off my shoes and went to the kitchen just to find out, someone had drank half of it. I wouldn’t have minded even a quarter but half? That wasn’t enough to quench my thirst!” Arya complained, “I was waiting for a whole damn week for that!”

“You could have just bought another one.”

“I couldn’t. I was broke back then. No money to my damn name. My dad got it for me from a wedding.” Arya pouted.

“Peak.” Damian muttered.

“You did not just use my lingo on me.” Arya was astonished, she was almost smiling.

“Tt, just get on with the story.” Damian rolled his eyes.

“We’re gonna get back to that but okay!” Arya said with a small smile, amused. “So then I asked around and found out my eldest sister had drank it! She already drank hers. So I had  to do something about it. I had a two litre empty bottle of diet lemonade that was dirt cheap from Aldi which was like 17p-“

“Seventeen pence?” Jason blurted after finishing his ice cream.

“I know, right! Bargain!” Arya smiled.

“Oh sorry, your story?” Jason apologised.

“Oh, so I had the bottle and so with good thinking, I swung it at her head.” Arya laughed, “and then we scrapped in the hallway. I was at a disadvantage since I still had my backpack on and my school uniform!”

“So, you’re the problem.” Damian said, passing over his unfinished ice cream to her.

“What?! I was not the problem. I was the victim of injustice.” Arya denied, finishing his ice cream off with a massive scoop.

“You started the fight.” Jason added in.

“It was valid!”

“You could have asked her to buy you a new one.”

“Wow… it really is your own people that aren’t on your side.”

“Hey, we’re neutral here.” Jason laughed as Arya scowled at them.

“I’m so offended.” She huffed.

“Anyways, let’s go to the pharmacy to get you some sleeping gummies.” Jason suggested after having a small laugh with Damian.

“Do we have to? Most of the doses won’t work.” Arya frowned, a niggling fear creeping into her heart as she thought of the idea of sleeping. “You know, my immunity levels and all?” 

“We can try.” Jason said, pushing her to the direction of the pharmacy.

The three end up getting some vegan sleeping gummies from the brand Starpowa. As long as she had no dreams, Arya was fine with eating them but she still had a sense of apprehension towards them because what if they don’t work? What would she do then? Get herself drugged up on some sleeping drugs that can knock out an elephant?

The three were walking through the streets of Crime Alley, talking before Jason’s back up phone rang. “Hold on, gotta take this.”

“Think it’s a call for help?” Arya asked Damian.

“Probably.” Damian shrugged as the two paused at the side of the street, waiting for Jason to finish his call.

He came after a while, “Some kids called about a gang. Arya?”

“Yeah, I know.” Arya’s arm shifted into a staff, “Tikki Spots on!”

Soon Jason was in his Red Hood gear, helmet on and everything, “shout it for the whole fucking world to hear, Arya.” Came his voice from his modulator.

Arya smiled brightly. “Mon etoile, hasn’t seen that before.” She glanced at Damian, whose eyes sparkled with intrigue. They were definitely going to feed into Damian’s obsession with Miraculous.

Arya knew Jason rolled his eyes, “Go home.” He huffed before sending a grappling hook to a rooftop and flew off.

“Let’s go then.” Arya placed her hand on Damian’s shoulders steering him towards home.

“I can walk myself!” Damian protested, pushing back on her hands.

“I know you can.” Arya smiled. The two of them made their way home with Damian arguing about his capabilities and Arya just agreeing without any mind to what he was saying just to make him more aggravated. Well, it worked as Damian ended up practically pouncing onto her, trying to strangle the girl who laughed at his attempt.

That night, Arya found out that the gummies worked with a large dose of fifteen gummies.

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Two weeks had passed, making it come to early February, the three had shifted back into a routine, it wasn’t perfect, but it was alright.

“Batman keeps asking where ‘Jason’, ‘Arya’ and ‘Damian’ are, each time he shows up in the same place I’m at.” Jason gritted out as he grabbed himself a cookie from the cookie jar, there had been multiple approaches made by Batman recently, figuring out Red Hood’s routes in Gotham. Hell, he was even going to the border of Crime Alley!

“He needs to give up. No one wants to talk to him or interact with him.” Arya laughed lightly, “imagine if he tries to get Talia to tell him.”

This caused all three of them to pause.

“Oh my God. What if he does!” The three of them looked at each other. Arya turned to Jason, “Call her already!”

“I’m doing that, right now!” Jason had already pulled out his phone, dialling the number she had given him the night they left the League.

After the first ring… “Children, how have you been?” The familiar flowy voice came through the phone.

“Hey, Talia, just asking, did Bruce call?”

“No, is there a reason why he should?” The three of them visibly relaxed to hear that.

“Teacher, he may or may not have found out about our existence.” Arya decided to add. “Now he’s looking for us.”

“Why do you wish not to be found by him?” Talia asked. The three glanced at each other. Arya shrugged, she had a few problems with Bruce she could overlook and forgive because, hey, people make mistakes too. Nothing too serious.

She’s lying. She would have wanted Bruce to kill Joker too but too bad, she did it herself so whatever. She’d rather not go to jail or Arkham for what she did. So yeah, she’d rather not be seen by him anyway. “Reasons.” Arya admitted, not wanting to go on about it.

“Anyways, Talia, if he calls, don’t tell him anything.” Jason said, “Please.”

“That is fine with me, Habibi.” Talia said calmly. “If that is all, I must go, children. Stay well. And Arya, I will call about your new development.” Then the phone call cut.

“She’s going to kill me.” Arya sighed, “But who cares? Who hasn’t tried?!”

“Oh.. that’s not..” Jason started.

“As if people haven’t tried to do the same to you, Akhi.” Damian said with a roll of his eyes.

“The way we’re just talking about this like it’s normal is killing me.” Arya began to laugh.

“We’ve been trained in the league. It is normal.” Damian scoffed with a smile threatening to show.

“We need therapy but are we gonna go?” Arya smiled brightly.

“No.” Damian and Jason chorused together as grins grew on their faces.

“This is why we’re family.” Arya matched their grins.

Family. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?