Chapter Text
Bill looked out the hand shaped window the hick town he had learned to love was now laid to waste—the towns people were completely idiotic and they never had any working AC but it was HIS town damnit ! And he had every right to be pissed. Fires spread across the once woody landscape, houses left to ruin, and the smell of blood and dirt pungent, if bill looked closely he would bet he would spot a dead body but everytime he tried to get a good look it would his nose turn up and his crinkle. His own situation was very much a stark contrast.
On the outside atleast
Beautiful marble furniture populated the room he had been in for the past few weeks. The chair he had sat in was the more comfortable thing he had ever rested on and the fire place built into the wall always seemed to burn brightly. Even his clothes faced the same fate, gone was his oversized sweater vest and collared shirt now replaced with a perfectly tailored black and yellow suit.
And Bill hated it.
He felt just the same as the burning town below: hopeless and empty.
With a heavy sigh he sat up from the couch turning too rummage around the seat cushions to the couch sticking his hand between the velvet seating before pulling out a crinkled piece of line paper. Written on it was a long list of plans and mutiple doodles of a triangle with a top hat and bowtie
He had spent most of his time in captivity planning an escape (most involved a dramatic exit with fireworks and a raccoon with a knife taped to it) or thinking of new ways to annoy his captor with also involved a raccoon with a knife taped to it-! Hey, don’t blame bill-! Being trapped in a gaudy and padded white room didn’t really get the creative juices flowing.
Ah, speak of the devil.
The Familiar sound of steel toed boots echoed from the hall alerting the researcher to his incoming visitor and if that wasn’t enough the displeased grumbling was a dead give away. He quickly moved to hide the paper shoving it back between the couch cushions laying his entire body down on the velvet seating trying his best to seem as nonchalant as possible.
The door slammed open hitting against the wall with a BANG.
“Cipher, you and I are the only ones here that do not have SHIT for brains.”
Came the angry voice of sixer—dressed in a coat that displayed the vast cosmos and a matching pair of glasses—his skin was pale and aged with defining wrinkles and a noticeable four o’clock shadow. The Entity quickly spoke again “Do not let that fuel your ego much more, it’s not a high bar to reach.” As if bill was getting his hopes up.
“I’m flattered.” Bill sneered with as much sarcasm as he could muster, Sixer was throughly unimpressed letting out a long sigh as he made his way over to his former partner. “I would appreciate at least an attempt at sincerity.” Bill raised his hands and slowly started to clap a fake smile plastered all over his face.
“Oh praise be-! My glorious muse has graced me with his presence, oh please-! do tell me for what reason this GIFT has been bestowed upon me.” He spoke with as much devotion and pleasure he could muster but for some reason Sixer didn’t look pleased, confusion stirring at bills mind on how his amazing acting didn’t convince his demon. Sixer had found a spot next to bill on the couch the research glared, scooting as far away as he could his body pressed up against the armrest.
“I don’t understand why you have to keep being so difficult, I have been nothing but kind to you, cipher.” Sixer complained with a frown reaching out his hand to the smaller man who quickly swatted it away “taking over my planet and dimension for scientific research, real kind” he growled. “We agreed on it-!” The Entity clamored his voice growing more desperate “then we unagreed-!” Bill yelled “that isn’t a word-!” Sixer snapped back.
Bill loudly groaned throwing his head back hitting it loudly against the wall “THIS WHOLE THING IS STUPID-!” He exclaimed with a pained expression. Sixer found his face in his hands rubbing at his forehead trying to get the headache he was growing to calm down. “I saved you didn’t I-! I have kept you fed, clothed, which you still haven’t thanked me for yet, and best of all unharmed-! You mortals are so needlessly complicated what more could you POSSIBLY WANT-!”
As he started to talk his voice grew more and more aggressive, bill tried to ignore the growing fear in his heart trying his best to seek brave—he looked up at the demon and sneered “my home back.” He said simply glaring daggers at Sixer who only stood up from the couch much to bills relief who quickly reclaimed the entire couch.
He turned his back to the younger man gazing at the flickering fireplace with a frown.
“You used to be so much more obedient so much more…submissive, now you’re simply a mess, my dear.” Sixer spoke with a bit of fondness in his tone, if you could even call it that, from bills perspective it was like he was mourning the control he used to have over him.
Sixer turned to face the blonde once more taking calculated steps to the shorter before leaning down and taking his chin with a feather light touch his thumb gently stroking his cheek.
“What happened to my prefect little deciple~?”
Bill gave Sixer a look filled with disgust before spitting out “He died in a fire.”
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Snow fell heavy in the pine forests of gravity falls with every loud crunch of snow beneath bills boots he feared the snow was drop down on him burying him underneath—it was irrational he knew but he had been in the snow storm for so long he was sure it was beginning to effect his brain.
He was bundled up in a large black winter coat fur trimming the hood, a comfy yellow scarf with a matching hat, large red pants, pair of blue hiking boots, and to top it all off a stuffed brown backpack.
His hair was tied into a pony tail a beautiful golden color with black ends his bangs coming up to cover the left side of his face along with his missing eye, his skin was a beautiful brown and his eyes held a golden glow by all means he was rather attractive.
Why had he marched all the way out into the woods during one of the worsts blizzards of the Oregon winter-? To see some shitty cave obviously-! Well to explain further bill had found himself in a slump as of late. All his research on gravity falls amazing creatures had grinded to a halt and he found himself simply uninspired.
He would lay around his cabin all day stabbing forks into his fleshy skin and throwing snowballs at passing kids and laughing when they fell over crying but he knew he could sadly not keep doing this forever and he had to get back out their and fill his scarp book
So into the creepy ass cave he went kicking rocks and squinting into the dark trying his best to make out the figures in the dark. He didn’t come here for one specific purpose he simply saw the cave on one of his previous adventures and told himself he would come back later and here we was-! Admittedly covered in much more snow than he was expecting.
“Stupid cave, should’ve stayed home!” He growled his voice echoing in the caverns he nuzzled his face deeper into the yellow scarf around his neck his foot steps heavy against the stone floor as he ran a hand against the wall only slowing to a stop when his fingers fell under a new texture.
He took a step back humming loudly and pulling out a match from his backpack quickly against it against the wall lighting up a mural— it was pretty crude but bill was able to make out one singular thing: a drawing of a man in a purple coat smiling brightly with words written above him that he knew he just HAD too to read aloud.
“Creepy scary cave drawing with alarming words-! I won the lottery-! Now now let’s see~” he squinted taking his time repeating the words bcak in his head until he was certin he could speak them with perfect pronunciation, he certainly didn’t want to mess this up-!
“Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium…”
He pissed feeling the words roll easily off his tongue he began to smirk
“egassem sdrawkcab!
egassem sdrawkcab!
egassem sdrawkcab!
egassem sdrawkcab!
egassem sdrawkcab!!!”
He waitted for an explosion perhaps even the man from the painting to come to life but nothing happened
Like NOTHING happened
Bill was thoughrly let down.
“OH COME ON-!” He yelled his voice echoing through the halls “I come ALLLL the way here-! Read your mysterious ass message just to get JACK SHIT-!!” He screamed throwing his arms out to emphasize his disappointment, to no one but the smug face on the wall. “STUPID CAVE-!” He kicked the stone “STUPID BLIZZARD-!” Kick “AND STUPID MURAL-!” KICK-! Stones and peddles tumbled to his feet falling from the wall to the ground but he paid no mind tightening his jacket and throwing his bag back over his shoulder he ventured right back into the snow abyss.
-
It had been…too long, in bills opinion he was 100% sure he was lost, ALL THE SNOWS FAULT REALLY-! he huffed and puffed as he trudged through mounds of snow tripping over himself in the process landing face first into a pile of snow and rocks yelling in pain as soon as his head as hit against a large stone. He grumbled deliriously as he stared into the sky snowflakes dropping down onto his face and melting promptly.
staring into the sky he saw a blank abyss clouds taking over the sky and the sun barley peeking through, the last thing he will see before he dies of blood loss is gonna be fucking NOTHING-!
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Or atleast that’s what he thought. When he awoke he was surrounded by what looked to be an endless galaxy full of twinkling stars and milky ways, bill couldn’t help but he entranced. “Is this…hell-?” He spoke his voice accompanied by an echo. He wandered across the starry sky stepping across books and shiny tea cups to keep his balance only to come to a stop at a vast opening stars shooting across the sky he couldn’t help but stop to watch.
“Beautiful, isn’t it-?” The researcher promptly screamed and sent a punch to the voice coming to his left only to be met with air “oh fuck-! It’s Satan-!” The voice coughed to his right and he quickly turned coming face to face with the same man in the mural now only dressed in a coat that displayed the sky around them.
“Not satan, not Hell, I am but a fellow researcher.” The man bowed and bill simply looked on with utter confusion “…so I’m…not dead-?” He asked and the tall man simply laughed, to Bill it sounded mocking.
“No no, you’re safe, I can promise that.” A hand landed on the small of his back and suddenly he was being whisked away to a table and a set of velvet covered seats “I must say I am rather impressed with your knowledge and intelligence Mr cipher, it is beyond anything I have ever seen.” The man spoke with a wide smile his aged face wrinkling.
Bill rolled his eyes “hey, tell me something I don’t know.” The man let him take a seat bill crossing his legs and leaning forward as the man did the same the opposite side to him “funny, Mr Cipher” Bill yelled cutting the man off before he could continue, a smirk on his face “ DOCTOR CIPHER, actually” the entity coughed “yes…Dr, Cipher.” Bill could see his eye twitch.
“Would you care for a game of chess-?” He asked and suddenly a board and pieces were lined up in front of them, taking bill back suddenness he couldn’t help but laugh taking a leg and kicking the board away, The cosmic entity yelled in anger “Dr-!” Bill cut him off again “Listen sweet cheeks, I’m not interested in whatever you’re trying to do so why don’t you cut to chase huh-!” He said sternly, obviously annoyed at this man’s entire sherade.
The entity sat quietly for a while before raising to laugh making his way over to bill looking over him “now this is why I am going to enjoy our partnership , Dr Cipher-!” This made Bill stop “Partnership…?” The entity smiled brightly it almost made Bill want to squint.
“You see, Dr Cipher, I am a fellow researcher of the unkown and the strange and your research is simply fascinating-!” Now that wasn’t something bill heard before…he wasn’t buying it. “And I must say I am impressed, but let me cut to chase as you say-! I wish to work with you.” Bill frowned “work…with me-? Okay what do you want-? That seriously can’t be it-!” He quickly waved him away standing up from his own chair hoping to gain back a semblance of personal space.
The entity simply shook his head “I am being honest, DR Cipher-! When I took a look through your brain”
“MY WHAT-!?”
“I was simply inspired-! And I believe you’re the only person worthy of helping me complete my project.”
So that’s what he wanted-? Him to run around for him like some little errand boy -! But bill wasn’t gonna immediately say no, this whole entire thing ranked of SCAM SCAM SCAM-! But this man also ranked of someone who thought they were so very much smarter then everybody else around him.
And Bill HATED that-! The only person who could do that was HIM-! Because it was actually true~! He hummed loudly wanting to put the man in suspense
He might as well play his little game.
“What project-?”
“A portal, a multi dimensional portal, with the ability to see into other dimensions and expand your research.” Yeah, total scam. “Listen buddy, I highly doubt you can-“
“Dr cipher, you’re currently floating in a galaxy talking to a cosmic entity and holding a glowing blue cup that defies gravity.” Bill looked down at the cup he was holding and quickly threw it away
“I don’t see your point.”
The entity groaned “what can I do to possibly convince you help me with my endeavor-?” He asked his voice sounding tired and annoyed but trying to come across as desperate. Bill hummed thinking for a moment before the perfect idea dawned on him.
“Get me home safely and I’ll accept your deal-!”
“That…that is it-?” He asked, throughly confused. Bill nodded “I’ll tell you what-! You’re super hot and I’m bored, I’ll build your dumb portal if you can’t stop be from dying.” It all sounded so easy to the entity, he expected much more pushback and a lot more sarcastic remarks but it seems he had won.
The cosmic entity smiled and held out his hand “so , it’s a deal-?” Bill smirked and took his hand “deal.”
And the pact was sealed
“By the way , your name-? What is it” bill asked turning the entity’s hand over in his own counting all 6 fingers with intrigued eyes “it’s in a language you humans cannot understand, you’re allowed to call me whatever you want.”
Bill smiled raising up the entity’s hand “then, Sixer-! Since you got six fingers.”
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Bill awoke with a start out of breath and wrapped up snuggly in a blanket by his fireplace alight with freshly chopped wood. He looked up and down and all around before punching himself “yup-!” He groaned rubbing his cheek “not a dream…” and that handsome looking star guy definitely wasn’t either, he got home afterall.
He hummed laying back against the ratty old leather cushions noticing how he was dressed in brand new clothes and bandages were wrapped snuggly around his forehead.
“I’m going to need a lot more metal to build a giant ass portal.”
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—
“There was no fire-? And you’re very much alive.”
“ITS METAPHORICAL-!!”