hello from the other side
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The news drops in the morning.
He's thankful – really, he is – that Pierre had the decency to tell him about it before it went public, but the endless notifications lighting up his phone screen do nothing but highlight the slight sting of betrayal coiling in his gut. He knows it's been a long time coming, that Pierre deserves this more than anything, that things like this are part and parcel of racing in F1, that he really doesn't have the right to feel betrayed, but feelings... Feelings are something he can't control; can't rationalise.
His phone pings again and a picture of Pierre's face as the cover image of the news article shows up.
It feels official now. It feels real, like there's no going back. This isn't a prank, isn't a bad dream, isn't a figment of his imagination.
He doesn't have the words to explain how he feels.
Pierre is leaving for Alpine.
And Yuki's heart shatters all over again.
In which: Pierre is leaving for Alpine and Yuki doesn't exactly have a way with words
Series
- Part 1 of hello from the other side
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"You don't understand what it's like – family is everything to me."
Pierre looks like he's at a loss. "Family's important to me, too, Yuki. I'm glad my family supported us when we told them, and I wouldn't know what I would do if things didn't go that way. I know how scared you must be right now, and I understand where you're coming from, but you're throwing your own identity away to be what your family wants you to be."
He shakes his head.
"It's different." Yuki's tired, exhausted. He's trembling too much. "Family is everything."
In which: Yuki is forced to come out and we see the extent and effects of intergenerational trauma and internalised homophobia
Series
- Part 2 of hello from the other side
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How could he not catch feelings? It's Pierre Gasly, international heartthrob. Pierre Gasly, three-time podium finisher and winner of the 2020 Monza Grand Prix. Pierre Gasly, who radiates sex appeal with his cocksure grin and aura of confidence.
It's Pierre Gasly, who feels like home whenever he holds Yuki in his arms, who feels like a dream come true.
Pierre Gasly, who's moving on to Alpine. Moving away from AlphaTauri. Moving away from Yuki and their arrangement. Yuki knows he'd fucked up somewhere along the way when news of Pierre's move comes in and he finds himself equal parts heartbroken and proud of Pierre. He wasn't supposed to catch feelings, wasn't supposed to feel like he'll miss Pierre as anything more than just a friend.
They are teammates who occasionally fuck to deal with their horniness. Close friends, at most. That's all. Nothing more and nothing less.
It still doesn't stop Yuki from nearly throwing up when he realises the implications of his feelings.
In which: Yuki and Pierre are in a friends with benefits situation and Yuki finds his feelings bordering on /just a friend/ and more
Series
- Part 3 of hello from the other side
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They say you have to love yourself before you love someone, but Pierre thinks, sometimes, in order for you to believe you're capable of self-love, you need another person to show you what they see in you before you can see it and believe it for yourself. So he holds Yuki closer, lets him fall apart in his arms before piecing him back together with well-deserved compliments and praise, rebuilding his confidence with each small victory the Japanese had celebrated.
Each small win that represents Yuki's character, represents his worth.
In which: Yuki's confidence takes a hit after the Singapore GP and Pierre's there to remind him that he's enough
Series
- Part 4 of hello from the other side
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He isn't sure when it happens.
Yuki doesn't wake up one day and decide he's in love. Neither does he have his moment of startling realisation, a sudden awareness of his feelings and an unforeseen comprehension of "oh shit I like Pierre Gasly".
It's like going bungee jumping, Yuki thinks - the initial fear of the fall gets swallowed by the feeling of freefall, the buzz of adrenaline as wind whooshes past, the sight of the ground growing nearer and nearer.
Yuki wonders if that girl from the fairy tale - Alice, from Alice in Wonderland - felt the same when she'd fallen into that rabbit hole. He doesn't know where this particular rabbit hole of his will take him, isn't sure where he'll end up. Yuki doesn't have high hopes, but he wishes he'll land somewhere nice.
In which: Yuki realises his feelings and Pierre speaks to Yuki in the language of flowers
Series
- Part 5 of hello from the other side
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Yuki thinks it's the most romantic thing anyone's said to him (discounting the slight Apex slander). His answer comes in the form of charging towards the bed and launching himself on top of Pierre, a laugh bubbling out of his throat and into Pierre's mouth as his lips find his.They both end up showing up too late to the airport and missing their flight, but Yuki doesn't think they've ever been this happy to miss their flight. Or get chewed out by their managers.
His lips tingle from when they'd last made out in the privacy of the hotel room, his heart feels heavy and full.
Hope is the thing with wings that finally lands and perches in Yuki's soul.
In which: Yuki finds out that hope is a powerful thing
Series
- Part 6 of hello from the other side
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"Pierre... " Yuki says his name slowly, draws it out like how he usually does with his words when he's nervous. He says, measuredly, "Pierre, I'm not in Japan right now."
"Wha–"
"I'm in France."
Then, as if Pierre wasn't already freaking out hard enough, Yuki flips the camera. Pierre sees his house.
His family's house, the one in Rouen.
Yuki's parents are there, waving back awkwardly. Pierre's family members are there too, staring back at him with varying degrees of shock and amusement. One of his brothers fucking cackles.
Pierre feels his heart drop.
In which: Pierre's Christmas surprise falls through and he rushes to spend their first Christmas together
Series
- Part 7 of hello from the other side
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Summary
This day has been coming for a long time, and you know it.
You've known it since he came barging into your hotel room one rainy night, all smiles and laughter as he recounted his negotiations. You know this now, as you stand before him, eyes wet with unshed tears despite the tiny grin you plaster on your face. You're always smiling when you're with him – it's part of the odd dynamic that both of you share, for neither can be sad for long when the other one is happy.
In which: Pierre leaves for Alpine
Series
- Part 8 of hello from the other side