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‘Shuuji?’ Chuya repeats as Dazai walks into the bedroom. ‘What kind of name is that?’
Dazai pauses on his way to the bed. His expression transitions from shock to confusion to anger and his face finally seems to settle on a blank look.
Chuya turns from his position on the bed to face the other man fully, still holding the file he had been reading from.
‘How did you find out?’ Dazai asks. His face is blank but his eyes reveal he's more affected by this than he’s letting on. They’re the coldest Chuya has ever seen.
Chuya holds up the file wordlessly and Dazai stalks over to him, grabbing it from his hand and scanning it quickly. His expression darkens and his hands grip the file tightly.
‘I found it on our doorstep when I came in’, Chuya says, ‘It had no return address on it.’
They never got mail, since Mori usually just called them directly or sent a messenger if he needed them. That’s why Chuya had been so surprised when he found the yellow large envelope in front of their door. When Chuya had opened the envelope (after taking the necessary precautions to make sure it wasn’t drugged or anything, it’s not like he’s a fucking newbie), he opened the envelope to find a single black file in it. The contents of the file was what surprised him the most.
It was Dazai’s file. Chuya has tried to look up Dazai in their registry before, but he found that the file on Dazai Osamu was mysteriously missing. He assumed the man had destroyed it long ago.
Many of the information in the file were things he knew already, from Dazai’s first mission to their first mission as partners to his various injuries covered up by bandages and the obvious things, like his birthday and age. But the shocking part was on the very first page of his file. His name was listed as Shuuji Tsushima. Chuya had assumed it was a prank at first, from Dazai himself, but judging by Dazai’s reaction, it was true.
Which…
He didn’t know what to think. The fact that Dazai’s (or Shuuji’s?) name was fake had never occured to him. He knew that the bastard was secretive and determined to hide everything about his past, telling Chuya the bare minimum of his life before they met and absolutely nothing about his life before joining the Port Mafia. Chuya just didn’t think he would be this secretive.
And…
Chuya was slightly hurt that Dazai had never told him. After all, they were partners and they had known each other for almost 7 years now. Dazai had a chance to tell him. He just didn’t.
(Of course, he’d never tell someone like Chuya. Chuya was meaningless, just another pawn for Dazai to move around on his grand chessboard, useful, yes, but nothing more than an object to use, an object to fuck and play with, but not to care for or love, oh no, never to love.)
Dazai looks up from the file and then tosses it in the trash without a second look. He meets Chuya’s questioning glance with a blank look and says nothing and Chuya’s so sick of this, Dazai never telling Chuya anything, Dazai still hiding his feelings from Chuya, even now, in this room with just the two of them.
(Of course, he doesn’t care about you. After all, he’s the one who leaves you every night to go talk to Oda Sakunosuke. You’re useless to him, you’re worthless-)
‘You look like you have a question for me, chibi ’, Dazai says in an icy tone.
You don’t look like a Tsushima Shuuji, Chuya thinks.
Oh shit, he said out loud, didn’t he?
To his surprise, Dazai laughs, and it’s his normal laughter, not that mocking one he uses to bully his subordinates/Chuya/everyone in the Port Mafia. It’s the one Chuya can’t help but love.
(Chuya can’t help but love everything about Dazai Osamu, no matter how many times the piece of shit screws him over, abandons him for low-level Mafia members who refuse to kill, but that’s a whole other matter entirely.)
‘Well considering the fact that you look 5 years old with your height-’ Dazai starts to say before getting interrupted.
‘Shut the fuck up, you bandage shit’, Chuya says, but he relaxes as they return to their normal routine of arguing.
(Later that day, Dazai storms into Mori’s office, not even bothering to hide his fury.
‘Dazai-kun’, Mori says, smiling genially. ‘What a pleasant-’
‘Don’t play games with me, Mori-san. Why did you send Chuya my file?’ Dazai interrupts.
‘I thought he ought to know more about you. He is your partner after all’, Mori says, still smiling.
‘You had no right to send him my file’, Dazai says angrily.
‘No right? I’m afraid you may be forgetting who you’re speaking to, Dazai-kun. After all, I am the Boss of the Port Mafia, and it’s my will to do what I wish with the files of my subordinates. You would do well to remember your place.’ Mori says with a warning tone in his voice.
‘Or I will not be so forgiving of your rude tone next time.’ He continues, going back to a peaceful expression.
Dazai stands there silently, clenching his fists. Then he turns around and stalks out of Mori’s office.)
-
Chuya comes back from a solo mission in France to Dazai gone with himself being announced as the Executive who will replace him. He comes back to his car blown up, his wine bottles shattered (except for the single Petrus the two had agreed to open on Chuya’s birthday 7 months away) and their
his apartment cleared of all traces the taller man had ever existed.
He comes back to a box on the dining table, containing a black choker inside and a note.
-From Shuuji
(He spends about 3 hours crying over the note and decides to burn it. He wants no traces of Dazai left in his house.
After hours of hesitation the next day, he decides to wear the choker, and tries not to think of soft lips kissing up his neck, lips that belong to a certain brunette.
He drowns himself in alcohol and tries not to think.)