Chapter Text
jinyoung wants to leave.
he wants to leave this hell, but he’s not sure how he can, when he can, or if he can even do it in the first place.
he takes a deep breath, weighing his backpack in his hands. he could say it today. he could say it today and leave immediately. but what if he’s not quick enough?
he hears the bedroom door open and jinyoung grips his backpack tightly. he hears his lover come downstairs, calling out for him, and jinyoung takes a deep breath before stepping out of the kitchen.
“hey, babe,” jinyoung’s lover says, and jinyoung can immediately tell that he’s starting to be drunk again. jinyoung’s more afraid at this fact, and his sudden confidence has gone away. “where ya goin’?”
“class,” jinyoung manages to say, voice cracking as his lover approached him and strokes his cheek. “you kn-know i have to go.”
“but can’t you stay ?” his lover drawls, continuously stroking jinyoung’s cheek. “c’mon, stay with me.”
jinyoung takes a deep breath. it was now or never. “actually… i’m going to leave. i want to b-break up.”
the silence is deafening, and jinyoung immediately tries to leave, but he feels his wrist being grabbed. he squeezes his eyes shut before opening them as he’s tugged back, and he lets out a whimper at the dangerous look in his lover’s eye. “ what did you say?”
“i-i want to … to b-break up—”
jinyoung startles when his backpack is tugged away from him, eyes going wide in fear as his lover stalks closer to him. “why would you say that?”
why would you say that . jinyoung’s multiple bruises throb with slight pain — against his cheekbone, his chest, his legs, his abdomen. his scalp flared in dull pain as a reminder of all the times he’s been hit. the self inflicted wounds all over jinyoung’s arm suddenly burn again. why would you say that .
jinyoung cries out when his backpack is swung at him, trying to duck but being unable to do so in time. he vaguely remembers he has a textbook in his backpack as it hits his temple, and jinyoung collapses to the ground. his chest constricts as he starts to panic, eyes watering up with tears as his head throbs with pain.
his lover bends down next to him, gripping jinyoung’s hair and tugging his head up, and jinyoung gags at the reek of alcohol being breathed on him as his lover says, “you can’t and won’t fucking leave me. who else would want your whore self? i don’t even want to be here, but i’m taking pity on your pathetic self.”
jinyoung’s eyes squeeze shut as his hair is let go of harshly, making his head fall back and hit the ground. he wants to die. he doesn’t want to be here anymore.
jaebum . jaebum’s supposed to come by and pick him up so they can get to their classes together. why wasn’t he here yet?
jinyoung’s lover suddenly stands and lets go of jinyoung’s hair, going back upstairs. jinyoung gasps for breath as he shakily reaches for his backpack, and once he pulls it close, he takes his phone out, shakily unlocking it and sending a single text to jaebum.
hurry. please.
jinyoung shoves his phone back in his pocket, ignoring the sudden influx of text messages that he assumes are from jaebum. he tries to stand, but he ends up falling back down. he keeps himself up on his hands and knees, trying to stop his vision from spinning. jinyoung vaguely hears his lover storming back downstairs, and jinyoung lets out a shaky whimper when he hears something be thrown towards him and crash against the coffee table behind him.
“why do you want to leave, huh ?!” his lover screams at him, brandishing another alcohol bottle at him. “is it that jaebum guy? huh?!”
admittedly, yes. it was jaebum. jinyoung had fallen out of love with this lover of his a long time ago, but he could never leave. he knew that he wasn’t loved back -- maybe was never loved besides the first month or two -- and he began to fall for jaebum, slowly but surely. he could still never leave, always afraid of what the reaction would be.
it would be this .
the front door opens, and jinyoung immediately knows it’s jaebum -- he’s the only one who has an extra key to the apartment. jinyoung whimpers when his lover turns his head towards the door, and jinyoung can see jaebum freeze up from the corner of his eye. “wh-what -- jirongie?”
“oh, you’re here to see the whore ?” jinyoung’s lover laughs lowly, and jaebum’s eyes flicker over to jinyoung in surprise. “he wants to leave me for you! how pathetic!”
jinyoung lets out another cry as his lover kicks his stomach, curling in on himself as he whimper in pain. it’s nothing new . he should be used to this already.
the next thing he knows, jaebum’s swinging his fist at jinyoung’s lover , giving jinyoung a bit of time to crawl away from them. as soon as jinyoung’s lover is knocked to the ground and groaning in pain, jaebum rushes over to jinyoung, helping him up and patting his cheek. “jinyoung-ah? hey, can you hear me?”
jinyoung nods weakly, and his head hurts . he’s pretty sure that the kick to his stomach opened a wound on there that hadn’t been properly healed and wasn’t stitched up at a hospital. he’s proven correct when jaebum gasps, saying, “you’re bleeding! fuck, jirongie, come on, let’s go, you already have all your stuff at my place anyway…”
jinyoung’s eyes are focused on his lover behind jaebum, and he lets out a little noise in the back of his throat as the man starts to stand, gripping his beer bottle. jaebum turns and immediately pulls jinyoung down as the bottle is thrown at them. it shatters against the wall, and despite jaebum covering most of his body, jinyoung lets out another noise of fear when some shards graze against his neck and hands. jaebum steadies him gently before storming over to jinyoung’s lover , pulling his arm back and punching him again.
jinyoung stares at his lover when he looks at jinyoung, eyes almost shut, and jinyoung manages to spit out, “fuck you. i’m through.”
and then he faints.
when jinyoung wakes up again, he’s in jaebum’s bed at his and jaebum’s house. his eyes flutter shut with relief, glad that he had gotten away. he should’ve never stayed over at his ex’s house for such long periods of time, but his ex had always had large bursts of anger at the concept of jinyoung staying with jaebum.
jinyoung’s eyes open again when he hears the bedroom door open, and he tilts his head to the side to see jaebum peeking in to check up on him. jaebum lets out a noise of relief and comes into the room with a tray of food. he sets it on the bedside table and immediately sits next to jinyoung, who tries to sit up and winces in pain. “hey, hey, be careful. you have stitches.”
jinyoung frowns and, once he sits up properly, he pats his stomach, feeling the stitches. he looks at jaebum, who answers the unasked question, “you were passed out for over 12 hours. it’s ten at night.”
jinyoung pouts, and jaebum immediately reassures, “it’s okay. don’t worry about it. i don’t mind taking care of you, and i rushed over to all your classes to get all your new notes and homework. they’re giving us both a week of excused absence — pretty weird, right? they’d never do that, but all i had to say was that the star student was in the hospital and bam! there we go.”
jinyoung manages to chuckle a bit at jaebum’s nonsense rambling, making jaebum smile in relief. he picks up the tray again and places it on jinyoung’s lap, whispering, “come on. you need to eat.”
jinyoung nods and starts to eat carefully, his hand shaking as he eats. jaebum stays next to him and helps him whenever jinyoung gets too shaky. when jinyoung finishes, jaebum puts the tray back to the bedside table before turning to jinyoung properly. “are you feeling okay?”
jinyoung nods silently, and jaebum takes a deep breath. “may i ask you something? or, two things?”
jinyoung nods once more, and jaebum gently lifts jinyoung’s sweater sleeve. he runs his finger against all the self inflicted scars all over jinyoung’s arm, making the younger flinch with a whimper. “are there more? was your ex that bad?”
jinyoung purses his lips, and he whispers, “he was. and there’s maybe two on each thigh. a few on my other arm. i’m sure you’ve seen all the b-bruises and all; those are from him .”
jaebum sighs with a nod, and when jinyoung motions for him to ask the second question, jaebum gently asks, “is what he said true?”
“what part?”
“that you wanted to leave him for me?”
jinyoung looks down, and jaebum immediately backtracks, saying, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to be blunt--”
“it’s true,” jinyoung whispers. “to an extent, at least. i was going to leave him, yes. i … i do like you. i fell out of being in love with him a long, long time ago, but i could never leave.”
“i like you, too,” jaebum whispers back, and jinyoung looks at him in surprise. didn’t his ex tell him that no one else would love him? was this a joke jaebum was doing? “don’t give me that look -- it’s not a joke. i really do like you.”
“i’m not ready,” jinyoung blurts suddenly, before suddenly curling in on himself in case jaebum lashed out. “i-i’m sorry. i just -- give me a bit to heal up and clear my mind, okay? i really do want to be with you, but--”
“hey, i understand,” jaebum says gently, stroking jinyoung’s cheek. “maybe not on a relatable level, but i understand where you’re coming from. i won’t force anything onto you. i can refrain from too much affection, if you want…?”
jinyoung lets out a scared noise, and jaebum quickly backtracks, “okay, i won’t do that. cuddles and forehead kisses are okay? nothing more than that?”
jinyoung’s shoulders sag with relief, and he curls up against jaebum. “that’s good,” jinyoung agrees softly. “i’d like that.”
jaebum gently kisses jinyoung’s forehead, making jinyoung’s eyes flutter shut sleepily as he mumbles, “come back… ask me properly in two weeks or so…”
“that’s fine,” jaebum mumbles, kissing jinyoung’s forehead again. “let me take care of you, jirongie. making sure that you get better is much more important to me than immediately starting a relationship with you.”
three weeks pass, and jaebum finally properly confesses to jinyoung after he knows that jinyoung is comfortable and healthy again. jinyoung shyly properly confesses back with a little smile. they end up cuddling on the couch and watching disney movies while jinyoung complains about the plots about them all.
(it makes jaebum smile about how jinyoung allows himself to just be -- himself . he’s always wanted to hear jinyoung talk about movie plots and such more often because jinyoung’s an acting major, and he’s glad jinyoung’s warming up.)
two months pass, and there’s a new person living with them -- jaebum’s friend, jackson wang. he had technically moved in two weeks prior, but he had only started staying with them since the last week. jackson and jinyoung had gotten close fairly quickly, which led to jackson constantly teasing jinyoung and jaebum. jinyoung always hid his face against jaebum’s chest, which made jaebum grin fondly as jackson pretended to gag.
jaebum’s now putting down the book he’s been reading for the past half hour, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. jinyoung had went upstairs ten minutes ago, saying he’d be back down in a minute or two, and that he was just going to get something. jaebum stands and goes upstairs, checking their room. he frowns when he doesn’t find jinyoung and enters the restroom after a hesitant knock. when he doesn’t get an answer, he peeks in, suddenly letting out a gasp.
he rushes in and falls to his knees, patting jinyoung’s cheek in worry and panic. jinyoung’s collapsed on the ground, eyes shut and his chest barely moving. jaebum looks around and he lets out another gasp when he sees multiple pills scattered everywhere, pill bottles strewn here and there, and he suddenly understands what happened.
and he screams.
“ jackson! ” jaebum screams, hurriedly pulling jinyoung up to sit on his lap so he can be ready to carry him up. “jackson! come quick!”
jaebum feels tears springing up to his eyes as he hears jackson run upstairs. jackson bursts into the bathroom, and he furrows his eyebrows until he sees jaebum looking up at him with tears in his eyes with an unconscious jinyoung on his lap. “wh-what -- hyung?!”
“call an ambulance,” jaebum chokes out, and the tears start spilling down his cheeks. he lets out a sob and pulls jinyoung close, “jackson -- p-please--”
“what happened--”
“jackson, please! ” jaebum says, voice cracking as he starts crying even more. “get an ambulance or -- or get the car ready, i don’t -- i don’t fuckin’ know , just h-help me get nyoung to the damn hospital --”
jackson takes his phone from his pocket and exits the bathroom as he calls for an ambulance, and jaebum pulls jinyoung even closer to him, nuzzling his nose against jinyoung’s hair as he starts sobbing, unable to catch his breath. he rocks himself and jinyoung back and forth, whimpering, “i’m so sorry, nyoungie. i’m so so sorry. i’m sorry, i should’ve checked up on you more, i should’ve made sure you’re okay. fuck, i’m so sorry…”
jaebum and jackson are waiting anxiously in the hallway of the hospital for any news on jinyoung. jaebum’s only sniffling now, way too exhausted and out of tears to continue crying. jackson clasps his hands nervously, taking a deep breath before whispering, “jaebum…?”
jaebum lets out a tiny hum of acknowledgement; there’s another sniffle but jaebum still doesn’t look up.
“can i … can i know … what caused jinyoung to do this?” jackson says quietly. “i mean -- obviously, depression, but -- did something… happen?”
jaebum stays silent for a while until he finally sits back and looks over at jackson. his eyes are still rimmed red because of all his crying, making jackson feel awful for him. “... his ex.”
“huh?”
jaebum purses his lips and tells jackson of jinyoung’s past relationship -- how it was abusive and awful for jinyoung’s health. it was a combination of physical, verbal, and mental abuse, and it had taken its toll on jinyoung. he tells jackson how he managed to get jinyoung out of there, and jackson feels his fists clenching in anger. “i’ll fucking beat his ass--”
“i did that already,” jaebum manages to chuckle weakly. his expression falls shortly after, and he whispers, “i’m scared, jackson-ah. i want him to be okay…”
“he will be okay,” jackson reassures immediately. “i’m not just saying that to cheer you up; jinyoung’s strong. he’s definitely going to be okay.”
jackson opens his arms, and he’s slightly surprised when jaebum immediately moves in closer and lets jackson hug him. jackson just holds jaebum close, rubbing his back gently. soon, jaebum pulls away and lets out another sniffle. “thanks…”
they stay silent for a while, each other’s presence being the slightest comfort for one another. soon, a doctor comes out and approaches them. jackson and jaebum sit up immediately, listening as the doctor tells them of jinyoung’s condition. as soon as jaebum hears the words, “he’s okay”, he buries his face in his hands, letting out a little sob of relief.
jackson pulls up jaebum after thanking the doctor when he leaves, whispering, “hey, hey. see? he’s okay. the doctor said we can visit him, but he doesn’t know if he’ll wake up, since he’s resting.”
jaebum trips over his feet while getting up, but jackson doesn’t tease him for it. jackson leads him into the room and gently helps him into the chair next to jinyoung’s hospital bed, knowing that if he let go, jaebum might collapse in shock. he sits in the chair on the other side of jinyoung’s bed, letting out a grim smile as he sees jaebum grip jinyoung’s hand in his, pressing a kiss against it before holding it tightly and against his forehead.
they wait in silence for half an hour until jackson notices jinyoung shift slightly. he watches with wide eyes as jinyoung opens his eyes slowly and turns over to jaebum. jinyoung slowly removes his hand from jaebum’s grip and strokes his hair gently with a soft smile.
jaebum jerks up in surprise, eyes wide as he stares at jinyoung in surprise. jinyoung’s smile widens a bit more, whispering, “hey, bummie.”
jaebum’s bottom lip trembles, and he silently starts crying all over again, reaching over to gently hug jinyoung. jinyoung lets him, and he continues to stroke jaebum’s hair to soothe him.
jackson fiddles with his fingers, feeling as though he shouldn’t be watching in on something so intimate. as soon as he knows they’ve pulled away from the hug, he looks back up to see jaebum finally cracking a little smile at jinyoung, who whispers, “i’m sorry.”
jaebum nods, unable to say anything. jinyoung then turns to jackson, eyes full of guilt as he says to him, “i’m sorry to you, too. i must have… worried you as much as i did jaebum.”
“it’s fine, jinyoungie,” jackson says, smiling weakly. “are you okay? wait, fuck, that’s not a smart thing to ask, of course you’re not.”
jinyoung lets out a little chuckle as he reaches up to ruffle jackson’s hair. “i get what you mean. i’ll be fine. i promise.”
jackson bites his lips worriedly, but he nods to what jinyoung said. jinyoung turns back to jaebum and speaks gently to him, as jaebum’s managed to find his voice. jackson zones out as he lets them speak to one another, looking at jinyoung’s arm. the sleeve had shifted up, exposing his wrist and forearm, and jackson lets out a little gasp at all the scars on his arm.
jinyoung looks over in confusion, and when he sees where jackson’s gaze is at, he flinches and shoves his sleeve back down. jackson looks up at jinyoung with wide eyes, mouth slightly open in surprise. “jinyoung…?”
jaebum sighs and presses another kiss onto jinyoung’s hand that’s still in his grip, and then he says, “i told you of jinyoungie’s ex. that’s how bad it was; he caused jinyoungie to harm himself like this. there’s a few on the other arm and one or two on his thighs.”
jackson continues to stare in shock, and jinyoung smiles grimly at him as he tells jackson, “it’s okay, sseuni. i haven’t harmed since jaebum helped me, i promise. i’m … i’m better, in a way. my current situation may not say so, but i was better.”
jackson nods quietly, taking jinyoung’s other hand in his and squeezing it gently. jinyoung smiles at him gently, whispering, “talk about something, anything. please.”
jackson smiles and starts to talk about random things, knowing that jinyoung didn’t want jaebum to brood for long. jaebum ends up smiling weakly by the time they’re told that visiting hours are over. when they were told that they had to leave, jaebum immediately stiffened up, but jinyoung had reassured him that he’ll be fine. jaebum had only cheered up when jinyoung added in a kiss for extra reassurement, making jackson tease them lightly to bring up the mood.
they’re now at home, and jackson peeks into jaebum’s room to check on him real quick before he went to sleep. “hey, hyung. don’t stay up all night, okay? i know you gave jinyoung his phone to keep in contact with him if he’s awake, but you should really rest well.”
“what happened to the constantly teasing jackson?” jaebum chuckles weakly. “but thanks, man. i won’t. you rest as well, okay? i’m sure nyoungie would want you to rest well, too.”
“of course,” jackson grins, making little finger guns at jaebum. “the wang gae park gae friendship must continue!”
jaebum laughs a bit louder, making jackson grin wider. “i know. it will. good night, sseuni.”
“g’night, hyung.”
jinyoung was released a week later, and jackson’s never seen jaebum so clingy.
jaebum has rarely let jinyoung out of his sight, the only times being when jinyoung needed to have some privacy. (with jaebum’s logic, that excluded showers, but jackson doesn’t bring it up; he’d really rather not).
jaebum’s at work now, so that means jackson is on “jinyoung protection duty” in the words of jaebum. jinyoung’s currently curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around him as he eats chips slowly and watches tv. jackson’s sitting next to him, jinyoung’s head not exactly on his lap, but close.
jinyoung shifts and looks up at jackson, whispering, “jackson?”
“mhm?”
“thank you.”
jackson furrows his eyebrows, looking down at jinyoung. “what are you thanking me for?”
“for cheering up jaebum when i was at the hospital or when i’m napping and he’s just gloomy,” jinyoung says softly. a smile as soft as his tone appears as he continues, “so thank you. jaebum’s depressed as well, you know? his dad was a dick. i won’t say anything else but -- thanks for just… cheering him up with your little jokes.”
jackson wants to ask more about jaebum, but he holds back, knowing this wasn’t the time and he shouldn’t get the information from jinyoung. “hey, it’s no problem. of course i’d help out the both of you. i won’t just stop out of nowhere. besides! we’re wang gae --”
“park gae,” jinyoung giggles, wrapping his blanket tighter around him. “thank you again.”
jinyoung soon recovers fully, and jaebum’s no longer as down as he was before. two more people moved in with the three of them -- youngjae and yugyeom. jinyoung had immediately started to coddle them and be protective of them (and if anyone teased jaebum about staring at jinyoung with even more love in his eyes as jinyoung did this, he would simply glare with the blush on his cheeks giving him away).
jinyoung’s now happily entering their house, waving at jackson, youngjae, and yugyeom, who are all laying on the couch and playing against each other in mario kart. “hello, kiddos!”
“what’s got you in such a mood?” jackson asks as he pauses the game, making the younger two whine. he’s genuinely curious -- jinyoung’s never come back from classes with this bright of a mood.
“ i was the first in my class to get approval on my script and to start filming,” jinyoung says, a proud tone to his voice; he’s been working hard on this script, and to have the immediate approval of his professor for the first time made him extremely proud.
jackson, youngjae, and yugyeom evidently believe so as well, giving him their compliments and congratulations. “you should tell jaebum hyung!” youngjae says, grinning happily. “i’m sure he’ll be just as proud, if not even more proud!”
jinyoung nods in agreement, letting the three of them go back to their game as he rushes up the stairs. he immediately enters his and jaebum’s room, putting down his backpack and taking off his shoes, then laying down on the bed next to jaebum happily. jaebum sets aside his lyric book and his pen, turning over to give jinyoung a kiss, mumbling, “hey, nyoungie.”
“hi,” jinyoung whispers with a soft smile, leaning back for another kiss. “guess what?”
“hm?”
“my script was the first to be approved by my professor,” jinyoung says, his smile widening when jaebum lets out a gasp. “i get to have an early start on it. we can start whenever we want.”
jaebum starts to smile back at jinyoung, an immense feeling of proudness within him. he leans back in to give jinyoung another kiss, a longer one this time, and jinyoung fists jaebum’s shirt to pull him closer. when jaebum pulls away, he leans his forehead against jinyoung’s, whispering, “i’m so proud of you. you deserve this, you really do.”
jinyoung’s smile widens even more, making jaebum nuzzle his nose against his. jaebum presses a quick kiss against jinyoung’s lips, mumbling, “i have some news for you, too.”
“oh?” jinyoung shifts a bit so that he can face jaebum properly. “what is it?”
“i finished the music for my song,” jaebum says, grabbing his phone and his lyric book. “i can record it soon.”
“that’s great!” jinyoung breathes out, cuddling closer to jaebum, taking one of the earbuds and putting it in his ear to listen to the music. he nods along to the beat, his eyes closed, unknowing of jaebum watching him with a fond smile. jinyoung opens his eyes to see jaebum looking at him, to which he blushes lightly and says, “can i see the lyrics?”
jaebum hands him the lyric book, and jinyoung looks at the already open page where jaebum had messily written down the lyrics. “when are you going to record? i want to support you.”
“actually,” jaebum says softly, a hint of shyness in his voice, “i want you to record this for me. i want this to be a song we make.”
jinyoung slowly looks up at jaebum, eyes wide. “r-really?”
“you always have me in your videos, don’t you?” jaebum chuckles. “i really wanted to let you record with me for other songs, but it didn’t seem special enough for the both of us, you know?”
jinyoung nods, looking back at the notebook with a shy smile. he reaches out for jaebum’s phone, replaying the music and looking over the lyrics. jaebum watches with what jackson calls his “dumb, lovestruck expression” as jinyoung mouths the lyrics to himself, continuously replaying the first few seconds of the song as he tries to think of a way to sing it.
jinyoung lets out a little sound of victory, jaebum assuming that he figured something out. eagerly, jinyoung replays the music, tapping his fingers against jaebum’s thigh to the beat as he sings softly, “ why must i decide about tomorrow, today? how should i know what tomorrow will bring? my path and my dreams are fading …”
jaebum’s mind quickly registers the rhythm and leans in closer to jinyoung, gently intertwining his fingers with jinyoung’s. “ if i could turn back time and see my future, i would know which way to go, i would know where my path is. ”
the two of them continue to sing the lyrics, replaying certain parts a few times to try a different way of singing the lyrics. as they sing, jinyoung starts to realize what jaebum means by wanting this song to be something special that could allow jinyoung to record with him. it wasn’t that jaebum didn’t want jinyoung to sing the other songs he had composed and recorded; the lyrics of this one simply felt more intimate, more personal than the other ones jaebum did. jinyoung can pinpoint the lyrics that were things jinyoung and jaebum had actually said, whether about someone or to each other, but in their personal conversations nonetheless: “ but i stop myself and try to have courage ”, “ why are you telling me to choose, when i only have my eyes half-open? ”, and a few others.
they finally manage to figure out the song together, and jinyoung looks at jaebum, who’s scribbling down little notes as to what parts jinyoung would sing. jinyoung watches in surprise as jaebum gives him just about half the lyrics -- he had expected to just have a small singing part. “jaebummie?”
“i told you, jinyoungie,” jaebum says, lips tugging up to form a smile as he looks up to make eye contact with jinyoung, eyes filled with fondness. “this is going to be our song. not mine, featuring you. it’s our song, where we both sing. i’m not sure of it yet, but when i have time to myself -- i have one or two other songs done. we could make more -- who knows? you already know i upload the songs for my music class up onto the internet -- soundcloud, youtube. we could do our own little album with this song -- not for the views, not for the opinions. let it be for us, about us. what do you say? shall we do it?”
jinyoung tears up a bit at jaebum’s little proposal, a tear falling down his face as he lets out a little hiccup. jaebum shifts closer and cups jinyoung’s face, wiping away the tear with his thumb, the soft smile staying on his face as he whispers, “don’t get all emotional on me now, you’ll make me cry, too.”
“you’re the one that started it with your dumb cute idea!” jinyoung whines softly, trying to hide his face. jaebum chuckles a bit, gently stroking jinyoung’s cheeks. “o-of course i want to do it, you idiot. you’re so dumb .”
jaebum lets out a snort, pulling jinyoung close and letting him hide his face against jaebum’s chest. jinyoung fists jaebum’s shirt as he hiccups about how dumb jaebum is to even ask that to jinyoung when of course he’d say yes.
soon, jinyoung calms down, looking up at jaebum with a pout. “you’re still a dummy.”
“yeah, yeah,” jaebum coos, moving so he can kiss jinyoung. “i’m still your dummy, though. that’s never gonna change.”
“where are we going?” jinyoung questions as jaebum continues to drive; the sun’s just setting, and jinyoung can’t help but admire the soft golden glow that’s being casted against jaebum’s skin. “where are we going that has to do with us packing some clothes?”
“just a long drive,” jaebum hums, glancing over to flash jinyoung a quick smile before he turns his focus back onto the road. “we’re staying in a little motel for the night, and we’re just going to explore and all. little relaxing period for us from the others, you know?”
jinyoung nods in understanding, pulling his knees up to his chest. “are we almost there?”
“half an hour, maybe,” jaebum replies. “i’m going to check us into the motel and then we’ll just go out to eat or something.”
letting out a hum, jinyoung curls in on himself, mumbling, “i’m gonna nap. wake me up whenever we’re gonna eat.”
jaebum nods and he turns down the radio volume a bit so it won’t disturb jinyoung as he falls asleep.
when jinyoung’s shaken awake, he sits up and rubs his eyes sleepily, looking outside the window. he lets out a little snort, mumbling, “really? why are we at target?”
“an abandoned target that still probably has stuff in it,” jaebum points out with a grin, taking off his seatbelt and turning off the car. “come on, let’s go.”
jinyoung unbuckles his seatbelt as well and they both get out of the car. jaebum locks the car and shoves the keys in his pocket before taking jinyoung’s hand and leading him to the entrance.
“it’s so dark,” jinyoung whimpers, gripping jaebum’s hand. “is the power completely out here?”
jaebum shrugs, taking out his phone and using it as a flashlight. he finds a few buttons and he messes with them, jinyoung jumping in surprise as the lights suddenly turn on, although constantly flickering -- not in a scary way, at. “i guess not.”
jinyoung grabs a shopping cart and pulls it closer to the two of them. with a bit of struggle and some help from jaebum, he climbs in it and gets as comfortable as he can. “push me, jaebummie!”
jaebum laughs and grips the shopping cart, pushing it forward and running and turning. the two of them keep laughing and yelling, jinyoung making fun of jaebum whenever he almost crashes the cart into something. jaebum soon stops in front of the halloween costume section, and jinyoung climbs out of the cart to pick up a lot of the costumes. “c’mon, let’s try these!”
“but they’re all for kids,” jaebum grumbles, but he shoves on a witch’s hat nonetheless. jinyoung starts giggling and he puts on a tiara. they start to take pictures of each other as they continue to try on different outfits. jinyoung places a cat ears headband on jaebum, snapping a few quick photos of him being surprised. “hey! don’t take embarrassing photos of me.”
“you have some of me, so it’s only fair,” jinyoung giggles. he takes jaebum’s hand and drags him away from the aisle into the clothing racks. admittedly, there aren’t a lot of clothes left hanging up, but jinyoung’s still curious. “let’s go!”
“is my baby being rebellious now?” jaebum teases as jinyoung holds up some clothes and studies them. “are you going to steal some clothes?”
“it won’t be stealing if no one else knows and it’s an abandoned place,” jinyoung winks, picking out a large red hoodie. “ah! jaebummie, try this!”
jaebum takes the hoodie and slips it on, surprised at the fact that it was even big on him. jinyoung squeaks with joy, clapping his hands as he says giddily, “you looks so small! that’s so cute!”
jaebum chuckles and takes off the hoodie. he then puts it on jinyoung, and he can’t help but coo when jinyoung looks up at him with wide eyes. “you look even more cuddly than you already are.”
jinyoung grins and hugs himself, saying, “we should take this! it’ll be our hoodie, we can share it whenever!”
smiling softly and nodding in agreement, jaebum leans in to kiss jinyoung’s nose. “come on, lil rebel of mine. go look around for more things before i change my mind about us taking things.”
jinyoung squeaks and starts to look through all the clothing left behind, making jaebum snort in amusement before looking around himself. he finds some cheap jewelry on a rack and inspects them closely. he comes across a pair of promise rings, smiling as he picks them up, tilting it to see the cheap jewels on it glint in the light. “yah, jinyoungie.”
jinyoung comes over with his arms full of more sweaters, as well as a few shirts and some pants. when jaebum raises an eyebrow, jinyoung simply says, “i had to get some for the others as well. what is it?”
jaebum takes the promise rings out of its packaging and takes jinyoung’s hand gently, slipping the ring on his ring finger. he puts the other ring on his own ring finger, flashing a smile at jinyoung. “there. now we have our own thing amongst the many others we already have.”
jinyoung grins with joy, standing on his tiptoes to press a kiss against jaebum’s lips. “thanks, jaebummie. it’s really pretty, like you.”
jaebum grumbles in embarrassment as jinyoung coos at him. “are you done stealing?”
“don’t phrase it that way,” jinyoung sulks. “but yes, i did! let’s go!”
they rush out of the store, jaebum shutting off the power again before they get in the car. jinyoung’s giggling as he puts all the clothes in the backseat of the car, pulling his knees up to his chest again as jaebum starts the car and drives away. he inspects the ring on his finger with a little smile, whispering, “i was serious, this is really pretty. i’m surprised they left something like this there, even if it’s one of the cheap ones.”
jaebum simply smiles as he drives; he decides that he shouldn’t tell jinyoung just yet that in his pocket, he has two promise rings that he bought with some of the money he saved up. “yeah, it’s pretty, but it isn’t enough for you.”
“what do you mean?”
jaebum says nothing, simply pulling up into the drive-thru of a mcdonald’s, making jinyoung scoff in amusement, “really? mcdonald’s?”
“it’s food, is it not?” jaebum challenges, grin widening. “i’ll get you your mcflurry thing. the oreos one.”
“a large?”
“mhm,” jaebum snickers, pulling up to the intercom. jinyoung tugs the hoodie over his knees so he’s completely covered by it, pulling up the hood as well. jaebum turns to check with jinyoung on if he needs anything else, almost bursting into laughter when he can only see jinyoung’s eyes as he gives a thumbs up covered by the sleeves of the hoodie.
“you’re so cute,” jaebum teases after he gets the price, pulling up to the window. he gets his card out of his wallet, adding, “you just get cuter every day. are you an angel?”
jinyoung whines softly, scrunching up his nose even though he knows that jaebum can’t see the action. he watches as jaebum pays and gets their food, squealing a bit in joy as jaebum fondly passes him his mcflurry. he takes it happily with his sweater paws, pulling down the front of the hoodie a bit so he can sip it. jaebum laughs after he gets the drinks and drives off, saying, “what are you so cute for? are you trying to kill me?”
jinyoung just smiles, cheeks bunching up and eyes crinkling up a bit. jaebum shakes his head fondly as he drives up to the motel, unbuckling his seatbelt as he parks. “come on, lil cutie. we gotta get in our room to eat and then rest.”
“resting is for the weak, you dummy,” jinyoung grumbles, but he takes the hoodie off his knees so he can unbuckle his seatbelt and get out of the car properly. he grabs all the food as jaebum grabs their suitcase and the drinks, waiting for jaebum to lock the car and put the keys in his pocket. “i want to eat, then swim, then rest.”
“but then you have to wait a while before you can swim,” jaebum reminds him as they enter the motel. “you can’t swim immediately.”
jinyoung grumbles, letting jaebum lead the way to their room. he enters as soon as jaebum unlocks it, flopping on the bed and sipping his mcflurry again. “come on, i’m hungry! can you be any slower?”
jaebum sticks his tongue out at him, setting their suitcase aside and carefully placing the drinks on the night table. he sits next to jinyoung, who happily takes out their food while humming. “i got you a regular meal and your chicken nuggets.”
“a blessing,” jinyoung sighs, opening his box of chicken nuggets and popping one in his mouth. “it’s so unhealthy but so good .”
jaebum chuckles at how happily jinyoung munches on his food, starting to eat as well. he takes out his phone and places it in between them. “i finished the other two songs i wrote; icarus and find you .”
jinyoung scoots closer as jaebum plays the first song, mouthing along to the lyrics, a little smile appearing when he hears his own voice. they listen to the songs, jaebum softly humming along and the two occasionally singing the lyrics together. when the songs are finished, jinyoung flashes a smile at jaebum, saying, “they’re really good, jaebummie. i’m proud.”
jaebum smiles back, grabbing his drink and sipping it. he sets it back down as he says, “it’s only really good because you sang it with me.”
“don’t be so cheesy, you dummy,” jinyoung grumbles. he picks up his satchel bag from the ground and takes out a little notebook, setting the bag back down. he flips through the notebook finding what he was looking for, handing the notebook to jaebum while mumbling shyly, “i … wrote something for that little album you mentioned for us to make. it’s not as good as what you can do, though…”
“don’t say that,” jaebum frowns, taking the notebook. “it’s not going to be bad.”
jinyoung scrunches up his nose and focuses on eating his food as jaebum quietly reads the lyrics to himself, coming up with beats for it in his mind as he reads. when he finishes, he looks up and smiles at jinyoung, saying, “this is really good, jirongie. i guess your writing skills for your scripts also transfer to lyric writing, huh?”
“oh, shut up,” jinyoung whines, but then he looks up at jaebum shyly, whispering, “is it actually good?”
“why would i ever lie to you?” jaebum scoffs, rolling his eyes fondly. “come on, me lying to you unless necessary would never happen.”
jinyoung grumbles under his breath, calling jaebum a cheesy dummy, making jaebum smile at him teasingly. they finish their food and drinks, and jinyoung stretches, saying, “can we at least change into our swimsuits?”
“fine,” jaebum sighs, and jinyoung lets out a sound of excitement as he opens their suitcase, immediately taking out their swimsuits and tossing jaebum’s to him. “you know we’ll probably go in like, ten minutes anyway. why do you still listen to me when i say you have to wait? i already told you that’s a myth.”
“because you make it convincing,” jinyoung counters before leaning forward and whispering another response into jaebum’s ear. at jaebum’s sudden blush, he cackles and skips off into the bathroom, calling out, “don’t think too hard about what i said!”
“fucking tease,” jaebum grumbles, changing out of his clothes into his swim shorts. he slips back on his shirt as jinyoung exits the restroom, flopping on the bed next to jaebum and grinning up at him, saying, “sooooo? can we go now?”
jaebum shakes his head fondly and grabs two towels as well as the room card and a waterproof disposable camera, jinyoung happily following him after they put on their flip flops as they leave their room and go out to the pool. jinyoung bounces with joy when he sees that no one else is there -- it’s nearly nine at night, after all -- and immediately strips off his shirt and makes sure his flip flops are off before jumping into the pool.
jaebum simply watches with an exasperated yet fond smile as jinyoung pops back up, shaking his head and having water droplets fly everywhere. jinyoung grins up at jaebum, saying, “come on! join me!”
jaebum sighs, the fond smile still on his face as he does the same as jinyoung, setting down their things before jumping in. jinyoung yelps when the water splashes on him, laughing when jaebum pops up and shakes the water from his face. jaebum’s smile merely grows wider at the sight of jinyoung being happy, pulling him close and nuzzling his nose against jinyoung’s, whispering, “hey.”
“hey,” jinyoung giggles, reaching out to intertwine his fingers with jaebum’s. “i really love you. did you know that?”
“of course i do, i love you just as much.”
“no, listen,” jinyoung whispers, squeezing jaebum’s hands. “i’m really grateful for you. i know i say it every once in a while, but i really really am. you always cheer me up and distract me from all the bad points in my life. you’ve made me feel safe, i don’t know where i’d even be without you.”
jinyoung chokes up a bit, and jaebum leans in to press a gentle kiss against jinyoung’s lips, letting go of jinyoung’s hands to wrap his arms around jinyoung’s waist instead. jinyoung relaxes in his grip, bringing his hands up to rest them against jaebum’s chest. when jaebum pulls away, he smiles softly at jinyoung, whispering, “i don’t want to think of where you’d be if i hadn’t come for you. i don’t want you to think of it, either. just think of staying with me, okay? i’ll keep you safe and happy.”
jinyoung smiles back weakly, leaning up to press another kiss against jaebum’s lips. “i just… really love you.”
“and i love you, too,” jaebum reassures. he unwraps his arms from jinyoung’s waist to hold onto one of his hands, jaebum’s other hand reaching for the disposable camera. he holds it up and snaps a picture of a surprised jinyoung, who hides his face after the flash goes off. “cute.”
“why’d you take a picture of me?” jinyoung whines in embarrassment, hiding his face with his free hand when jaebum snaps another picture. “it’s going to be dark and grainy and i’m going to look ugly .”
“you’re not ugly,” jaebum says firmly, setting the camera aside. “how many times do i have to tell you this?”
jinyoung sighs, pouting at jaebum for him to forgive the younger. jaebum, who was never upset at jinyoung in the first place, simply chuckles at him, reaching out for his other hand. he lifts jinyoung’s arm up, pressing gentle kisses against all of the faded scars littering his forearm. jinyoung looks away in slight shame as jaebum lets go of the hand he was still holding, tracing over the little word carved into jinyoung’s skin: worthless . “i know. you don’t have to tell me about how i’m not worthless. i know i’m not.”
“that won’t stop me from reminding you,” jaebum insists quietly, bringing jinyoung’s arm back up to press a kiss against the word. “because you’re not worthless. you mean so much to me, to the others back home, to your parents, okay?”
“so do you,” jinyoung says, surprising jaebum. jinyoung brings his hand up to stroke jaebum’s cheek, adding softly, “i know you’re on awful terms with your father, but you still have your mom, yeah? you have me and the others as well. you should know that as well, okay?”
jaebum slowly smiles, nodding along to jinyoung’s words. “i will. i do know that. thank you.”
jinyoung smiles back, whispering, “let’s just enjoy our time, okay?”
and they do. they play around in the pool, constantly picking each other up and throwing each other back into the pool. jaebum takes more photos of jinyoung, the latter becoming more comfortable and posing for the camera. soon, they dry themselves off and gather their things, laughing quietly to one another as they quickly go back into the motel.
after showering together and putting on their clothes, they cuddle under the covers together, jinyoung laying his head against jaebum’s chest as jaebum lazily strokes jinyoung’s hair. jaebum soon sits up, making jinyoung let out a noise of confusion. “i have something for you.”
jinyoung frowns and sits up as well, watching jaebum curiously as he gets something from one of the drawers in their night table. “hm?”
“take off your ring,” jaebum whispers, taking off his own and waiting for jinyoung to do the same. he smiles shyly and holds out something, and jinyoung gasps softly when jaebum pops it open to reveal two other promise rings. “these are the actual ones for us.”
“d-did you actually buy this?” jinyoung says in shock as jaebum takes out one of the rings and slips it on jinyoung’s finger. upon inspecting it closely, jinyoung hiccups, “is that—?”
“our anniversary date? yeah,” jaebum chuckles, twisting jinyoung’s ring a bit. “there’s a rose there, too. on the other side, there’s a moon with a star. i have the same on mine.”
jinyoung stops jaebum when the older takes out his own ring, making jaebum raise an eyebrow in surprise. jinyoung gently takes the ring from him to slip it on jaebum’s finger himself, avoiding jaebum’s gaze as he tries not to blush shyly.
“you’re so cute,” jaebum coos softly, intertwining his fingers with jinyoung as they lay back down. “what did i do to deserve you?”
“it’s more of what did i do to deserve you ,” jinyoung remarks cheekily, cuddling closer to jaebum.
“is that so?” jaebum hums, gently stroking jinyoung’s cheek. “either way, maybe it’s just fate, hm? let’s think of it that way.”
“that’s so cheesy,” jinyoung groans, but he accepts it either way, eyes fluttering shut. “just shut up about being so cheesy and let’s sleep, you dummy.”
jaebum lets out another hum and reaches over to turn off the lamp, letting the room be engulfed by darkness. “g’night, jirongie. i love you.”
jinyoung simply nuzzles his cheek against jaebum’s chest, a little smile on his face, and that’s enough of a response for jaebum as he falls asleep with jinyoung in his arms.
jinyoung peeks into the kitchen where he had heard a loud crash. he sees jaebum hunched over the counter, shards of glass everywhere on the ground, and jinyoung realizes that jaebum might have dropped a glass.
he takes a few hesitant steps forward, whispering, “j-jaebummie?”
jaebum whirls around, making jinyoung flinch back with a whimper. jaebum immediately relaxes and his expression to turns to one of guilt. “hey, jinyoungie.”
jinyoung carefully approaches him, a pout on his lips. “a-are you okay?”
“yeah,” jaebum sighs. “i’m sorry if i scared you.”
“it’s okay,” jinyoung replies quietly. he sees jaebum’s hand and gasps, quickly grabbing his wrist and whimpering at the sight of the blood covering it. “y-you’re bleeding… come on, we should clean you up.”
jaebum allows jinyoung to lead him to the bathroom -- yugyeom sees them and tilts his head in confusion, and jinyoung whispers, “can you -- can you clean up the kitchen? be careful, okay?”
yugyeom nods and goes, and jinyoung pulls jaebum into the restroom. jinyoung shuts the door and turns on the light, taking out the first aid kit and mumbling to himself as he takes out what he needs. jaebum watches with a slight smile as jinyoung cleans up the blood and wraps up his hand.
when jinyoung finally looks up, he sees jaebum staring at him, the smile still on his face. he blushes and looks down, rubbing his thumb over jaebum’s hand as he whispers, “don’t worry me like that again.”
“i’m sorry,” jaebum repeats with a grim smile. “i wasn’t thinking.”
“what happened?” jinyoung asks, looking back up at jaebum. “what got you upset?”
jaebum stays silent, but when jinyoung nods reassuringly, he sighs, “my… father called.”
jinyoung winces and reaches up to brush jaebum’s hair away from his eyes. “what happened?”
“just the damn usual,” jaebum grumbles, and jinyoung holds his injured hand so jaebum wouldn’t hurt himself more. “that i shouldn’t be with you or like guys in the first place, that i’m a fag, that i should’ve been a doctor like how he wanted me to.”
jinyoung sighs softly and leans up to give jaebum a gentle kiss, smiling against his lips when jaebum relaxes against the kiss. “don’t listen to him,” jinyoung mumbles against jaebum’s lips. “i know you’ll say you won’t, but i also know that you’re going to be thinking about it for a while. you have other things to worry about, like--”
jinyoung gasps, making jaebum jolt in surprise and wince. “you shouldn’t even be up! you should be in bed because you hurt your back, you dummy! come, come!”
jaebum laughs as jinyoung pulls jaebum out of the bathroom and into their room. jinyoung makes jaebum lay on his stomach on the bed, after making him take off his shirt crossing his arms as he stares at him. “you’re such a dummy. why are you not resting?”
“you worry too much,” jaebum chuckles, but he winces when he shifts.
jinyoung sighs and grabs jaebum’s lotion from the drawer in their night table. he gets on the bed, positioning himself in between jaebum’s legs as he pops open the lotion bottle. “relax, okay? talk to me about the other parts of your day. how’s your music project going?”
jaebum relaxes as jinyoung asked him to, speaking to jinyoung about his day and project as jinyoung gently massages the lotion into jaebum’s skin. jaebum’s eyes flutter shut as he speaks, and he’s suddenly overwhelmed by his feeling of appreciation and love for jinyoung, making him sniffle and hide his face against his pillow.
“hey,” jinyoung says gently, leaning forward to press a kiss against jaebum’s nape. “you okay? am i hurting you?”
“i just really appreciate you,” jaebum sniffles, not seeing how jinyoung smiles. “i really love you.”
“i love you, too,” jinyoung whispers, leaning back to continue massaging jaebum’s back gently. they stay in silence until there’s a timid knock on the door and yugyeom peeks in. “hey, yugy.”
“hi,” yugyeom smiles, entering the room. “uh -- i know jaebummie hyung probably got hurt, and by your position, his back hurts again. so i brought some snacks and all that i got when i was at the store a few hours ago.”
yugyeom sets down a pack of home run ball snacks and a pint of shooting star flavored ice cream. jaebum smiles at yugyeom, saying, “thanks, gyeom.”
“i also got you this,” yugyeom mumbles shyly, placing a pack of strawberry milk cartons with cony the line character on it. “i know it’s hard for you to get this packaging for strawberry milk, so i checked for it in at least three stores before finding it.”
jaebum’s smile widens and he makes grabby hands, making yugyeom try not to laugh as he takes one of the cartons from the packaging, opening it and placing in a straw before handing it to jaebum. jaebum takes it happily and sips from the straw, a content expression on his face. “hyung’s cute.”
“yeah,” jinyoung chuckles, fond smile on his lips as watches jaebum happily drink his strawberry milk, “he is. thanks, yugy. go relax, okay?”
yugyeom nods and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind him. jinyoung leans forward to continue massaging jaebum’s back, smile never leaving his face as jaebum lets out little content noises. “yugy’s right. you’re as cute as ever.”
jaebum simply hums at him, and the comfortable silence falls over them as jinyoung finishes working the lotion onto jaebum’s back. he helps jaebum back into his shirt and grabs their snacks, grateful that yugyeom had also put down two spoons for the ice cream. they eat together, sharing their snacks while quietly conversing about silly things the other three have done that week.
“i meant it, you know,” jaebum whispers suddenly, making jinyoung look up at him. “i appreciate you so so much. i really do.”
jinyoung slowly smiles, and jaebum just loves the adorable way jinyoung’s cheeks would just bunch up when he smiles. “i know,” he whispers back, leaning up to kiss his jaw. “i do, too.”
when mark and bambam join their little group, jinyoung’s ecstatic, happy to have more company in the house. jaebum and jackson had already graduated, and jinyoung’s in his last year, and so he figures that bambam and mark could be close friends with youngjae and yugyeom, who don’t have too many classes and could potentially be lonely at home. he finds himself -- as well as jaebum and jackson -- growing closer to the two hybrids as well, and jinyoung feels the need to protect them.
a few days after the little incident at the mall, jinyoung, jaebum, mark, and bambam all sat together in jinyoung and jaebum’s room, talking to each other of their past complications.
jinyoung, albeit a bit hesitant, tells the two hybrids the whole story about his ex, how it gave him his anxiety and depression and mild ptsd. it ends with bambam clinging to jinyoung with tears in his eyes, and mark staring down at his lap with his fists clenched, wishing that he could have done something more than just stand up for jinyoung that day at the mall.
after some reassurance that jinyoung’s okay now, jaebum’s next -- he speaks of how his father basically disowned him for not living up to his “expectations”. there was the occasional beating from his father, and the unloving nature of the parental figure drove jaebum to depression as well and for him to try and live on his own. as cheesy as it sounds, jaebum softly explains that becoming close to jinyoung was basically what stopped him from doing anything rash, making jinyoung intertwine their fingers with a shy smile.
bambam and mark hesitate a bit for their own stories before explaining certain things. bambam freaks out when jinyoung quietly recommends that they both should go to a doctor for a check up, as well as mark refusing to tell them about bambam’s ripped ear, saying that bambam’s fear of doctors had to do with the backstory of his ear getting ripped.
“hey,” jinyoung says gently, pulling bambam close and stroking his hair gently. “not all doctors are bad, okay?”
“n-no,” bambam hiccups, shaking his head frantically. “th-they’re all scary…”
“you wanna know something?” jinyoung says gently, and bambam nods hesitantly. “i had to go to the hospital once, and there’s lots of doctors there. but you know what? they helped me. they helped me become better.”
bambam whimpers, looking over at jaebum, who nods to confirm with what jinyoung said. mark reaches out to pet bambam’s hair, and bambam whispers shakily, “g-good doctor?”
“yeah, good doctors,” jinyoung reassures him. “and jaebummie and i will be there with you and mark hyung while you’re at the doctors, okay?”
“pinky promise?” bambam says, holding out his pinky timidly.
“pinky promise,” jinyoung reassures, linking his pinky with bambam’s before pulling away. “we’ll wait for a while before we go, okay?”
bambam nods, shifting away to cuddle mark again. jinyoung smiles softly and curls up against jaebum, holding his hand again as he says, “i want you two to know that we’re here for you, okay? so are sseuni, jae, and yugy.”
“thank you,” mark whispers with a smile. “i appreciate it. we both do.”
jinyoung pats the spot in between him and jaebum, and the two make room so mark and bambam can cuddle in between them. it’s a slightly tight fit, but they manage, with jaebum having an arm over mark and jinyoung over bambam, their hands intertwining in the middle. bambam smiles happily and curls up against mark, whispering, “thank you, hyungies, for helping me and markie.”
“you’re welcome, bam,” jaebum hums with a smile. “the both of you should rest, okay?”
bambam hums and his eyes flutter shut, mumbling, “nanite, hyungies”, fisting mark’s shirt and falling asleep.
jaebum checks on mark and stifles his chuckle when he sees that he’s already asleep. he squeezes jinyoung’s hand, whispering, “i love you. i’m proud you managed to talk about it.”
jinyoung smiles shyly, letting jaebum lean forward and kiss his forehead. “thank you… i love you, too. let’s just rest, okay?”
jaebum nods, eyes shutting as he keeps his fingers intertwined with jinyoung’s. “rest well, jirongie.”
jackson peeks into jaebum and jinyoung’s room, quietly stepping in when jaebum looks over. “hey.”
“hey,” jaebum hums, going back to stroking jinyoung’s hair gently. when jackson approaches them, he squeaks, making jaebum raise an eyebrow. “what is it?”
“i-i can come at another time,” jackson mumbles in surprise, averting his eyes.
jaebum looks down and chuckles softly, realizing that jackson’s referring to how he and jinyoung are both shirtless. he tugs the covers up so it’s up to jinyoung’s chin, and the younger nuzzles his cheek against jaebum’s chest. “it’s okay. i can assure you that we’re decent underneath the covers. what did you want to talk about?”
“nothing in particular,” jackson shrugs. “i just -- i wanted to check up on you and jinyoungie, you know? i know jinyoung’s been down lately, so…”
jaebum smiles gratefully, looking down at jinyoung with love in his eyes. “thanks, sseuni. he’s feeling a bit better, but if you want, you can cheer him up more when he wakes up.”
jackson nods at this, and he adds, “and what about you? nyoungie told me you almost went back to smoking. was it your father?”
“yeah,” jaebum sighs, pursing his lips as he runs his fingers through jinyoung’s hair gently. “it’s okay. jinyoung caught me before i could actually light one. he threw it out.”
jackson lets out a hum, and jaebum adds, “don’t worry, okay? i’m fine. you can just focus on jinyoung for now.”
“i’m going to worry for you as well,” jackson says firmly. “that won’t change. i’m not going to stop just because you asked me to. i’ve stuck with you and jinyoung the longest, i think i have the right to worry all i want.”
jaebum smiles a bit, but before he can say something, jinyoung lets out a soft whine, slowly waking up. jackson ducks down and lays on the ground to hide. jaebum rolls his eyes fondly and turns to jinyoung, who’s blinking at him sleepily. “hey, sweetheart. what’s wrong?”
jinyoung whimpers, his eyes glassy as he looks up at jaebum. “jaebummie?”
“i’m here, baby boy,” jaebum whispers, brushing jinyoung’s hair back.
“n-no work?” jinyoung slurs softly, struggling to keep his eyes open due to his sleepiness.
“no work,” jaebum confirms with a smile. “i’m staying with you the whole day, okay?”
“‘kay,” jinyoung mumbles. he shifts so he’s laying on top of jaebum, nuzzling his cheek against jaebum’s chest again as jaebum covers jinyoung with the bed sheets. “love you.”
jaebum’s smile widens at this, watching as jinyoung falls back asleep. “love you, too.”
jackson slowly gets back up when jaebum gives him a little thumbs up, an eyebrow raised in surprise. “jinyoung’s never like that when he’s sleepy.”
jaebum hums, going back to running his fingers through jinyoung’s hair gently. “you won’t mention this to anyone?”
“hm?”
“will you or will you not?” jaebum raises an eyebrow back at jackson. “you’ll embarrass jinyoung if you speak of it, even if it’s not a big deal. and you know how jinyoung shuts off everyone for a long time when he’s embarrassed.”
jackson nods that he won’t speak of it, and jaebum looks back down at jinyoung with a smile. “usually when he’s stressed, after we’re -- well, intimate -- he usually slips into this headspace for a while, y’know? it’s nothing big, he just really wants to be praised and called good. he seems to especially love being called ‘baby boy’ in that headspace. he just really wants praise and cuddles, basically.”
“cute,” jackson chuckles. “is that what you suggest? just praise him as platonically as possible?”
“basically,” jaebum says softly. “you never really see him in this headspace due to him wanting to just stay here and cuddle. but he might want to go downstairs. so if he does --”
“don’t tease you two about your cuddling,” jackson finishes with a smile, and jaebum smiles back. despite jackson’s constant teasing, he knows when he needs to stop and let jaebum and jinyoung cuddle when they need to. “don’t worry, i won’t. i’ll make sure the others won’t either, okay?”
“thank you,” jaebum whispers, wrapping his arms around jinyoung. “i’m gonna nap, so -- don’t let the others bother us, okay?”
jackson nods and bids him a quiet ‘goodnight’ as he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. jaebum rubs jinyoung’s back with a smile before letting his eyes flutter shut, letting himself fall asleep.
when he wakes up, jinyoung’s whining at him softly, sitting up on his lap as he pouts down at him. jaebum chuckles sleepily, thumbs rubbing over jinyoung’s hips gently. “hey, jirongie.”
jinyoung rubs his eyes sleepily, and a rush of warmth flows through jaebum as he’s overcome by fondness and love. he pats jinyoung’s back as he whispers, “how are you feeling, baby boy?”
“sleepy, hyungie,” jinyoung mumbles, and he lets himself fall back against jaebum, nuzzling his nose against jaebum’s jaw. “wanna-- wanna go downstairs, though.”
“you sure?”
jinyoung nods sleepily, and jaebum sits up carefully, whispering, “can you stay here while hyung gets us some clothes?”
jinyoung nods, and jaebum gives him a kiss before pulling away from jinyoung gently, making sure he’s comfortable and sitting up on the bed before getting out of bed. he hears jinyoung whine softly, and jaebum quickly goes over to their closet to grab their shirts and sweatpants. he comes back to jinyoung and dresses him up before putting on his own clothes. jinyoung makes grabby hands, a pout on his lips. jaebum chuckles and picks him up, patting his butt gently as he exits their room and goes downstairs with jinyoung in his arms.
“hyungies!” bambam exclaims, rushing over to them as soon as jaebum walks into the living room. he waves at them excitedly, cooing, “hyungies are cute. is nyoungie hyung still sleepy?”
jaebum nods as he lays on the unoccupied couch, jinyoung immediately cuddling closer. “he’s been tired lately,” he says with a smile, kissing jinyoung’s forehead.
“i think jinyoung deserves the rest,” jackson hums nonchalantly, making jinyoung peek up curiously. “he’s done really well lately, keeping up with his projects and helping us out.”
jinyoung’s eyes light up happily, and he looks over at jaebum with a shy smile, clearly ecstatic at the small praise. jaebum smiles back, saying, “he’s right. you’ve done so so well.”
bambam scrambles up and rushes into the kitchen before running back, handing jinyoung something. upon closer inspection, jaebum finds that it’s his melon flavored milk with the line character sally on it. jinyoung gasps softly, and jaebum says, “you sure you want to give it, bam? isn’t that your last?”
“and jinyoungie deserves it!” bambam says insistently. jaebum takes it as jinyoung whispers a shy thank you, watching as jaebum opens it and puts the straw in. he holds it out for jinyoung, who happily sips the drink, eyes fluttering shut in content. “see! i’m gonna get more for him!"
“thank you, bam,” jaebum smiles, turning back to jinyoung. “i’m sure jirongie appreciates it.”
jinyoung hums happily, straw falling out of his mouth as he nuzzles against jaebum again. jaebum sets the milk to the side, and bambam skips over to yugyeom, sitting next to him and curling up next to him.
mark notices jinyoung sleepily staring at the chocolate in his hands, so he smiles and reaches forward, holding out a piece and saying, “you want some?”
jinyoung looks up at jaebum, and when jaebum shrugs, he takes the piece and mumbles his thanks as he eats it quietly. mark’s smile widens when he sees jinyoung nibble on the piece of chocolate, sitting back and relaxing next to youngjae.
jinyoung ends up falling back asleep a while later, making jaebum sigh softly as he strokes his hair to see that he stays asleep. he flashes jackson a grateful smile, and jackson gives him a little thumbs up in return.
youngjae then speaks up, saying, “hyung, you’re off of work today, yeah? we can keep it down for you and jinyoung hyung, so you can relax together.”
“thanks, youngjae-ah,” jaebum says sincerely, shifting a bit. “we can just have movie time right now, i know you and bam and gyeom have been wanting it for a while. we’ll just keep the volume down for jinyoungie, yeah?”
bambam squeaks with joy, grabbing yugyeom’s hand as he drags him up to go get some snacks from the kitchen. youngjae and jackson bicker quietly over what movie they should watch. jaebum catches mark’s gaze, and mark smirks a little, motioning to jaebum and jinyoung’s position and mouthing, “ cute .”
jaebum rolls his eyes, and he nods towards jackson and youngjae with his own smirk, raising an eyebrow at mark. the hybrid scrunches up his nose and huffs quietly, capturing jackson and youngjae’s attention. jaebum tries not to laugh as jackson and youngjae pepper mark’s cheeks with kisses, telling him how they should let mark choose the movie. mark’s cheeks turn a light pink under the affection, and jaebum can faintly hear yugyeom giving bambam a little kiss on the nose, if that’s what bambam’s happy sound was.
he relaxes back and smiles when jinyoung fists jaebum’s shirt, letting out a tiny huff in his sleep. jaebum just lets the relaxation and happiness flow over him, feeling content at everyone’s position now.
“jinyoungie?”
jaebum peeks into their room, cooing softly when he sees jinyoung pouting with a book on his lap. he gently opens the door as much as he could with the tray he’s holding, closing the door softly behind him. he goes over to jinyoung and sits next to him on the bed, balancing the tray on his lap. “how’re you feeling, honey?”
“i can’t breathe through my nose,” jinyoung whines, and he does sound a bit stuffed up, making jaebum chuckle. “stop laughing! you’re so mean .”
“i’m sorry, sweetie,” jaebum says. “i brought you food, though. well, soup, really. and chicken nuggets, since bam’s convinced that will help.”
“thanks,” jinyoung mumbles, reaching out to grab the spoon. however, jaebum takes it away from him, making jinyoung tilt his head in confusion.
“i’m gonna feed you,” jaebum insists, getting a spoonful of soup and raising the spoon to jinyoung’s lips carefully. “open up.”
jinyoung smiles at jaebum’s insistence and opens his mouth, allowing jaebum to feed him. this goes on for a while -- the two of them speaking quietly, jaebum feeding jinyoung and dabbing a cold cloth on his forehead. jinyoung tries to get jaebum to not give him so many kisses, insisting that jaebum would get sick as well.
jaebum sets the tray aside when the food is finished, holding jinyoung’s hand and smiling at him. he leans forward, gently pressing a kiss against jinyoung’s forehead. he pulls away after a few seconds, smile still on his lips as he looks down at jinyoung. “want to watch dramas?”
jinyoung nods, and jaebum strokes his cheek before grabbing his laptop, placing it in front of the two of them. he opens up the last drama they were watching, searching for the right part they stopped on. once he finds it, he lets it play, leaning back and letting jinyoung cuddle against him. they watch the drama together, jinyoung quietly pointing out things in the plot line that he likes or dislikes.
jaebum ends up watching jinyoung more than the drama, the voices just a background noise to him. jinyoung soon looks up in confusion to see jaebum smiling at him, and jinyoung tries to look away in embarrassment. jaebum coos and tilts jinyoung’s face back to face him, giving him a little kiss despite jinyoung’s protests. he pulls away to kiss jinyoung’s nose, mumbling, “i love you.”
jinyoung simply blushes and focuses back on the drama, but the way he intertwines his fingers with jaebum’s and cuddles closer makes jaebum smile brightly.
jinyoung looks over when he hears someone approach him. he watches as jaebum sits next to him on the roof, placing a bag in between them. “is that food?”
“i figured you might be hungry,” jaebum shrugs, pulling out boxes of takeout. “and before you ask -- yes, i made sure i got some for the others.”
jinyoung smiles when he hears this, accepting the box of takeout that jaebum hands him. they sit in silence as they eat, jinyoung keeping his focus on the stars. at some point, jaebum nudges him, and jinyoung turns to see jaebum holding up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks, nudging it towards jinyoung’s lips.
jinyoung opens his mouth and lets jaebum feed him the piece, and jaebum lets out a little hum of joy when jinyoung swallows it. he’s about to turn back to his food when jinyoung grabs a piece of meat and holds it up with a soft smile. jaebum leans forward and lets jinyoung feed him, jinyoung blushing slightly at jaebum’s fond gaze.
“so,” jinyoung clears his throat, turning back to the stars. “mark with sseuni and jae, and bam with yug, huh?”
jaebum snorts, playing with a piece of chicken. “i expected it, especially with bam and gyeom. but i didn’t expect for mark to have been pining on jackson and youngjae for so long.”
“i felt bad,” jinyoung hums, stuffing some rice in his mouth. “when jackson and youngjae got together first, he was brooding for so long. at least it didn’t take those two long to tell him that they also liked him and all.”
jaebum nods in agreement, stealing a piece of jinyoung’s meat. “then bam and gyeom. i’m surprised bam was the one to say something first, even if it was during an outburst. he really seemed all tensed up over it, it’s cute to see them together. you know gyeom’s teaching him how to read and write properly again? as well as how to video edit, just ‘cause bam asked? in return he’s teaching gyeom thai.”
“oh, that’s cute,” jinyoung coos. “it’s similar with mark. jackson’s teaching him how to read mandarin, and they’re both teaching youngjae english.”
jinyoung turns to jaebum with a smile, saying, “i’m glad they’re happy. i really am. those two deserve so so much after what that hybrid center did to them.”
“did they ever tell you the full story?”
“only some.” jinyoung puts away his empty takeout box back into the box, and jaebum puts his in the bag as well. “and even then, it makes me want to protect them even more.”
jaebum smiles grimly, stroking jinyoung’s hair gently. “and that’s what we can all do, okay?”
jinyoung nods, and he says softly, “can i tell you something?”
jaebum puts the bag aside and pulls jinyoung closer. “what is it?”
“i’ve been thinking of cutting again,” jinyoung whispers, looking up at the stars, and he feels jaebum’s grip tighten around him. “i haven’t done anything. i thought of you and i just… couldn’t.”
jaebum sighs in relief, kissing jinyoung’s cheek. “i’m glad you didn’t do anything. you’re doing well, sweetie.”
jinyoung smiles, finding jaebum’s hand and squeezing it gently. “it’s just been an adventure these two years, huh?”
“it really has,” jaebum hums, and they’re right. they’ve been through their ups and downs, but here they are, safe in each other arms. “i’m glad we’re both okay. that you’re okay.”
“so am i,” jinyoung says, making jaebum tilt his head. “if i wasn’t, i wouldn’t be here with you. i wouldn’t have been able to meet the others.”
“that’s the kind of thinking i want from you,” jaebum chuckles, tilting jinyoung’s head towards him and kissing him gently. “i'm so proud of you. i really am.”
jinyoung smiles against jaebum’s lips and gives him another kiss before pulling away. jaebum looks up to see a shooting star, and he nudges jinyoung, saying, “c’mon -- you love wishing on shooting stars.”
“i don’t need to now.”
jaebum blinks in surprise, and jinyoung’s smile turns shy. “i have all that i wished for. i escaped from my ex. i have many supportive friends. i’m top of my classes. and i have the most loving boyfriend i could dream of having.”
jaebum grins widely, leaning his forehead against jinyoung’s. “my wishes are granted, too. i have caring friends, i’m on good terms with my mom despite my father and i’s conflict. i graduated with great scores. i made songs with my boyfriend, who is the cutest and most loving boyfriend i could ever dream of having as well.”
jinyoung tears up a bit, and jaebum pecks jinyoung with a little chuckle. “i love you, so so much…”
“i love you, too,” jaebum whispers. “happy two years, baby.”
“happy two years,” jinyoung whispers back, and they cuddle together under the stars, wishing for nothing more than the presence of the other.