Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Tommy Joe Ratliff are you even listening to me? Helloo!!??”

“Yeah, yeah. I can hear you Isaac. To be honest though I wasn’t listening to you. So I have no clue what you just said”

“You little shit. What the fuck are you even starring at?”

“Not what, but rather who”

“Oh god. Please stop trying to fuck that poor junior. I don’t want you to end up on the towns sexual offender list please.”

“Oh fuck off I'm not even 18 yet. I gotta wait until October for that to happen. Besides he looks older than me. He is the definition of tall dark and handsome. His braces though…”

“Killing the image for you?”

“Not at all actualy it kinda softens his face a bit, and his smile is cute as fuck”

“Again not a chance Ratliff. Adam is perhaps the most innocent person on campus. Like as far as what I know the guy has never been on a date. Hell I don’t even think the guy has had his first kiss yet. Please don’t corrup the guy. You have enough popped cherries on your belt anyway. You don’t need his too.”

“He is so cute though, plus he’s one of the smartest people in school. And again his smile though.”

“when you say shit like that it makes me feel like you are genuinely interested in him, but"

“Do you think he knows how to deep throat, I mean the guy has piped for the school choir I'm sure he can hold his breath for a good while.”

“you say shit like that and it reminds me that you are a terrible person. Listen to me Tommy. His guy will shiver like a fucking leaf if you even try to give him a kiss on the cheek.”

“How hard do you think he would shake while getting fucked?”

“Fuck you Tommy Joe.”

“Later, after I get a taste of Adam fucking Lambert over there.”

Chapter Text

I sighed, I’ll admit it when it comes to relationships they never end well for me. Heck, they don't start any better either. So I’ve kinda given up on trying to find one. Having sex is fun though, and being in high school almost every girl here is trying to get rid of their virginity. As if it wouldn't happen in college. I’m not totally picky, obviously a condom is a must. I like fucking but I don't want a fucking kid. And I don't trust any bitch that brings her own. I have no way of knowing if the girl poked holes in it. I get called a man-slut a lot. It doesn't bother me though. Most of the girls I have sex with are virgins, so I don't have to worry much about getting sick. My first time is something that…..well...I…..I’d rather not talk about it. I’m not a terrible lover, and from my first experience with sex I do try putting some heart into these girls that are new to sex. I don't want to hurt them, I want them to enjoy themselves. It should be memorable, for them. So while most just think I pop cherries without a care it's only half true, I’m not looking to start a relationship, but I do want these girls to not fear sex.

“Honey would you come down stairs please, I need you to take out the trash, and clean the table for dinner.”

“Coming!”  I grunt pushing off my mattress. And sliding my feet into my slippers as the edge of my bed. My mom was calling me again, which means my sister has disappeared with her bf again. “Gross"  I don't hate my sister, Lisa’s, bf but he can be a real fucking twat. My mom, Dia, is too sweet for her own good. She kinda lets my sister walk all over her. My dad was always the one that disciplined my sister and I. Ever since he died 3 years ago… a part of my mom disappeared with him. We had to downsize quite a bit after the funeral, we couldn't afford our old 2 story house anymore so my mom sold it, and we got a smaller place.  It's nice and cozy, obviously the absence of my dad does make itself known from time to time. I grab the bag in my trash bin and the it up, it's only half way full but whatever, I open my door and shuffle over to my mom's room and get her trash too, same for the bathrooms. I don't go into Lisa's room though. Last time I did I kicked her vibrator with my bare foot...and it wasn't dry. “fucking gross" I shake my head shivering at the memory.  I get into the kitchen and pass by my mom. Throwing the bags I have into the larger trash bin and wrap all 4 little bags into the large one along with food and paper plates and whatever else of garbage. It's only half way so all the bags fit in when I tie the bag off. I pull the bag out of the bin and strain at the weight of it. “How much shit is in here?”

“All the shit you and your sister don't eat, also you can't say it's that heavy your arms aren't that big as we speak.” My mom has a habit of poking fun and my small frame. I don't mind it though. She does the same to Lisa, but she doesn't do well with jokes.

“Ah shit, mom why you gotta roast me like that.”

I laugh. Holding the bag to my side, “I get it I look like a twink, no need to rub it in.”

“HA! A twink you're really reaching there Thomas, try a twig.”

I couldn't help it, I lost my shit. I fucking love my mom, she's religious, but I’m glad that she can still crack edgy jokes like that. “Damn it mom, haha. Keep making me laugh that hard  and you’ll be the one throwing out the trash.”

“Very funny. It's normally your sister's job to do that but Ryan came to get her a while ago and she “forgot" to take it out.”

“ugh, per usual.” I shake my head again wiping my blonde fringe out of the way. I headed over the living room to the front door, tomorrow was garbage day so I’d have to pull the bins out to the street.  School didn't start too long ago about 3 weeks ago actually, August is hot as balls. Then again the cold is a bitch too. But between the two I’d rather shiver than sweat. And with my wardrobe being 98% black the sun is never my friend in the summer, and there is only so much clothing you can take off before your run the risk of having to register as a sexual offender.

I throw to trash bag into the grey bin, and roll it out to the curb. The Recycle isn't as annoying  we have 2 bins for that, the normal blue city bin and a small white one. The reason for that is whoever made this house decided to put a shoot of sorts in the side of the house through the kitchen and a small metal ramp on the outside guides it down to the bin under it. In case of rain my mom had my drill holes at the bottom for water to drain through. After both bins are out I decide to sit of the curb for a while I hunch over a bit to take advantage of the bins to use as shade. Unlike most people in town I burn in the sun, tanning doesn't happen. My skin is pretty pasty so unless I wanna look like a tomato for a week I stay in the shade.

I was thinking about my chat with Isaac the other day. About Adam, an 11th grader at our high school. I am pretty sure I’m obsessed with him. I didn't recently discover I was into guys until very recently but I don't have much experience in anything more that a kiss on a dare. Adam is different than the girls I have been with. And I mean the fellow virgins like him.  Many are very shy when they ask me if I would help them lose their v-cards. I don't really look for my takers they find me. Although Adam's virtue is something very appealing to me. No doubt the guy knows my history, the first time I ran into him was last year my 11th grade year and his 10th. I was turning a corner and he smashed into me, in the classical movie way where paper's fly everywhere. It didn't help that the guy wore glasses too. He looked alot different last year. He didn't have the jet black hair her has now he's a natural red head, he used to wear thick glasses, and his height was more close to mine if not he was a bit shorter than me. His braces still there, but now he's like 6 feet tall jet black hair, and he has contacts now. I helped him pick up his stuff, they were all sheets of music, and I got his glasses for him. They didn't get damaged so I handed them back to him. He apologized, and smiled at me. His eyes were a crazy bright blue, his voice a bit on the higher side but very sweet, and his smile was similar to that of a child. His face changed though the moment he put his glasses on, the lenses were probably very strong and they wrapped his beautiful eyes into almost half their size. His face dropped from a smile to embarrassment. His blush was probably the same shade of his hair,  and this wasn't just a nice blush on the cheeks. Oh no this was probably a full body blush. He suddenly became very uncomfortable and moved a bit too fast for himself and unintentionally fell forward into my arms. With his current height and frame he would've floored me, but at that time he was small so he fit perfectly in my chest. The amount of embarrassment, and the sheer speed of running away could only be compared to that of an anime girl running after getting caught by her senpai. But I guess that fits In our situation as well.

I tried looking for him on the first day of school but I couldn't find him. Not until a repeat of our first encounter happened again this time only this time I walked straight into a broad wall of man, probably too hard and knocked myself to the ground. I said sorry to him not knowing it was Adam. He stretched his hand out to me and as I took it I recognized freckles on his hand and immediately looked up. The new black hair, contacts, eyeliner. Everything about him had changed. The glint from his braces and the full face blush made it obvious that it was Adam.  His face wasn't round anymore, it was like a young Elvis Presley. He was sexy as fuck. As soon as Adam recognised me he let go of my hand and apologised for knocking me to the ground, is voice had lowered too, but still retained it's sweetness. He rushed off before I could say anything back. It was at that very moment that I knew.

I had to sleep with him before graduation.

Chapter Text

Dinner went smoothly between my mom and I. My sister was still gone and Lord only knows when her fuck nut of a boyfriend brings her back home. After helping my mom clean up I went back up to my room, piled up my pillows on my headboard grabbed my guitar from my desk chair and my laptop from my desk. My bed was pretty huge a nice queen, way to big for a pretty petite guy like me but it only served to have more room for all my shit, and the occasional female, or male now. I flipped open my laptop and waited for it to chime on while I pulled out my baby from her case. I settled in the center on my bed baby in hand and screen on the side, and just strummed away aimlessly, only half watching Friday the 13th on my laptop. See a bimbo die once you’ve seen it a thousand times. Then an all too familiar “ding" rang from my screen, I set my baby to the side and pulled my computer into my lap, it was Isaac,

“Hey Ratliff! Quit jerking off and send me some pics of the work from chem please.”

I smiled shaking my head, “Dude I wish I was jerking it right now. Sadly my little Junior Adam hasn't posted a new picture yet. I have no fresh material.”

“You are disgusting man. Also a little bitch. If you wanna get more substance to wank with why don't you actually you know send him a friend request and chat with him.”

“Too much work, plus I don't think he would even accept my request….” I mean would he, he seems pretty afraid of me everytime I lock eyes with him at school.

“ Well shit who could've guessed that the womanizer at school is too afraid to talk to his little crush.”

I could practically hear his annoying laugh in my head, ugh. “ LITTLE!? He’s like 6 feet tall man. Jk. Seriously though you know I’m not the slutt everyone at school thinks I am. And again I know it's cheesy but Adam is different.”

“ yeah, he doesn't drool all over you. Yeah I know what you do isn't just for the fuck. I’ll still never understand your deal with wanting to make girl’s first times so special for, but you do you. Anyway if he is different then make the move for once, I don't think Adam is the type to flirt. Also, GIVE YOUR BOY THE NOTES!! If I fail this class I won't be graduating you little love struck fuck”

“ Fuck me then bud relax I’ll send them to you, give me a second,” Isaac...you gotta love the guy. After taking pictures of my notes and sending them off he an I keep chatting for a bit. My mind of only half present and the other half scrolling through Adam's MySpace page. Eventually Isaac logs off and I’m left to my own childish stalking.

Adam's page is nothing but pictures of family, friends, musicals, and bands he enjoys. Older music is a majority of what I can see. Which makes sense with his new outer persona. He has taken up a leather, eyeliner, and glitter liking, while dark it gives me more of a Freddie Mercury feel. I can respect me some Queen. While Adam's outer appearance has changed, just by bumping into him once before and once after his transformation. The red hair is gone, but the redness from his adorable blush hasn't. Thank god, or whatever thing that may or may not exist. The green dot by his name is on, which means he’s active. Isaac does have a point, I’m not gonna get anywhere with Adam if I don't do anything. Will he even accept my request if I send him one?

Fuck it.
Send.

(ADAM’S POV)

*ding*
“....this….this is a joke…..why him?” a lump formed in the 16 year old's throat.

“Honey can you come down stairs please your father needs help in the garage.”

He jumped at the sound of his mother's voice behind his door. He picked his lips, “I’ll...I’ll be down in a minute…”

“Don't take too long, you know how impatient your father is.” her voice faded as she left her son's bedroom door, Leila could help but notice the slight nervous sound in her eldest son's voice. Adam was very open with her, if something was truly wrong he wouldn't take too long to come speak with her, so is was easy for her to let it go.

For now anyway.

The newly dark haired teen pressed his lips together, and scratched his scalp. He could see Tommy was currently online. “is he..waiting for me to respond?” Adam hasn't felt this nervous since the last time he bumped into Tommy at school, but how is it that this request through a screen can still make him feel so uneasy and nervous.

“what do I do…”

(TOMMY’S POV)

“Ugh, what's taking him so fucking long.” is he scared of me or something...I mean with his reaction to me at school maybe he is. I’m not an intimidating person…..am I? I don't think I am….at least I hope not.

*ding*

He….He accepted it… “Fucking finally.” I’ll send him a messa- oh. The little green dot was gone. “oh Adam why do you always run away from me when you pull me in so easily…”

Chapter Text

“Hey Tommy thanks for the notes. You’ve been really saving my ass this quarter. If I don't graduate my dad will kill me.” Isaac slaps his hand on my shoulder, causing me to wince. “So...I saw you made a new friend the other day,”

I could practically hear him smiling through his tone. “What of it?”

“Nothing, I’m just glad you took my advice…..you know for once.” ugh, god I can't stand his I told you so voice. It's one of the main reasons why I don't really listen to him. “ so have you two chatted yet?”

I sigh mentally and physically, “No. And it's not me that’s resisting. It's just that he….he logs off every time I log on.” I scratch the back of my head. I had my mom buzz down the sides of my head the night before so the feel of my short hair felt nice in my hand, I left my bangs long though, I just enjoy the nice bit of ventilation.

Isaac clicked his tongue, “well who would've thought that a virgin would be avoiding you of all people. I mean at that point why did he even accept your request?”

I gnawed at my cheek, “Maybe it was a miss click…..unless he's scared of me?”

Not even a second later Isaac burst into a fit of laughter, “Haha, oh Tommy please you are the least intimidating person ever. And besides you are a VERY patient guy. It takes quite a bit to piss you off, so to even see you angry is like a one in a billion chance.” he calms down and and sighs, “But I mean overall you aren't a scary person. Perhaps a bit off putting to some adults, but to other kids you just look like the perfect cross of a metal kid, and and emo kid. I only say that because of the eyeliner. I have only seen you mad once and yeah it was a bit shocking, but the situation made it appropriate.”

“Well thanks. I guess. I dunno I am a bit stumped on the guy. Like I’ve bumped into him twice, and we'll after the first he ran away from me the second time he just couldn't keep eye contact without shivering like a fucking chihuahua.” my head hurts.

Isaac shrugs, “ Maybe he likes you too. I mean, most people are awkward around people they like.” suddenly he sits up straight, “HEY!”

I flinch at his sudden shout, “WHAT!? And seriously what the fuck man I’m right fucking next to you no need to shout at me.”

Isaac chuckles scratching the back of his head, “Sorry man, but hey I was thinking...Like you first met him last year right?”

I nod, “yeah,” where is this moron taking this?

“He was still short, red haired, chubby, wore glasses. You know the quiet nerd in the corner type?”

“Yes, yes Isaac can you just get on with it please the bell in gonna ring soon.”

“Oh, fine. Well what if he ran away from you then because he liked you and all because he wasn't as confidant in himself talking to you the way he looked before? I mean honestly, aside from puberty ramming him like a fucking bus over the summer, maybe he took it as an opportunity to become sexy for you.”

“Fantastic the guy thinks I’m shallow. That's exactly what I wanna think about…” I sigh, resting my chin in my hands.

“Hey, that's not what I ment man, I know you aren't, but I dunno. It was just a guess.” Isaac frowns, “so what did you think of Adam when you first saw him?”

I blink a few times, “I mean...It was just a random meeting. If you could call it literally knocking each other over. He could've just been really shocked because he landed on top of me. That was the only good thing about him being short, his belly was visible, but just the usual love handle type deal so he wasn't heavy. I’ve had heavier on me.”

“I’m still amazed that you are still alive after her.” Isaac has leaned in towards me in interest.

I laugh, “Nah, it wasn't that bad, she had long legs so she was holding most of herself up. Plus she was sweet, and again it was her first time so I don't blame her for wanting to control how fast it went. So fuck off.”

“Haha, yeah yeah I know didn't mean to bust your chops man. You're just small and I am concerned for your health and well being.”

“I appreciate the concern. ANYWAY, with Adam's inexperience it isn't shocking that perhaps landing in such a way on top of someone would make him uncomfortable. But he was sweet, I mean while he wasn't able to see me. His glasses got knocked off. He was already really cute, and his freckles, the red hair and his nervous laugh. He was just really cute. He looked like a little kid. I helped with his shit, and as soon as he saw who I was something flipped and he became hyper nervous, and shy. And he just zoomed off. It was kind the same the next time I smacked into him 2 weeks ago. Only it was just my skinny ass that fell back. Like he his thick as fuck, it was like I walked into a door. Well he helped me up, and I recognized the avalanche of freckles on his arms, and looked up and met face to face a still nervous yet more physically grown version of Adam. I’m sure he's still the same dork from last year, just bigger, and hopefully less likely to zoom off. Like he should be in fucking track I’ve never seen a guy run away so fast, and now with his long ass legs.”

Isaac laughs, “ At that point he isn't running he's fucking flying.”

I smile. “Basically. But I dunno I’d just have to ask him eventually what brought forth the change in his appearance. I mean the clothing, is actually fitting for his taste in music, the glasses well contacts are an option. The hair..I dunno. Maybe he just didn't like his hair before.”

Isaac nods next to me, “maybe. Which way do you think he looks better, more fuckable?”

I roll my eyes, “I thought you didn't like the idea of me fucking him.”

“not after your 18 man. The guy would still be 16 until his birthday in January.”

“whatever, it's only a year difference. Hmm, well he is fuckable this year and last year. But like on a different spectrum. Last year he was like perfect for a bottom. Since he was much smaller, this year though he is much bigger, which would just flip the switch and put me on the bottom. I don't care either way, but he looks good both ways for me. The only thing I don't miss are his glasses.”

“I thought you liked the nerdy look?”

“I do, it's just what his lenses did to his eyes.”

Isaac laughs, “what do you mean they helped him see.”

“You better fucking stop with that sarcastic shit man.” hiding my smile was hard, I could feel the corner of my lip twitching.

“Haha, sorry man, continue.”

“Well I not sure what problem Adam has with his eyes, but whatever it is. The old lenses just made his eyes shrink. Like while still that pretty blue they were just shrunk in fucking half.”

“ahhh, ok that makes sense. Then yeah contacts were probably better for a change.”

“If he thought they worked better for his daily life then yeah. It just so happens that I did like that one change as well.” suddenly the school bell rang. First period here we go. I said my quick goodbye to Issac, until I’d get to see him later in 3rd for chem. I only had 5 classes to go to all day with one free period. I did PE over the summer once just out of boredom, and so they gave me the credits for it so I have a gap before lunch and as a senior that just give me the upper hand for off campus lunch. My first class is English, not much really going on in all honesty it is only the first month of class so we haven't gotten really deep into any book, or anything in particular.

And as I walk into class I see an all to familiar protection on the front drop screen over the whiteboard. I have a love hate relationship with teachers that just show videos all day. It's just means low expectations, in other words easy A for me. It's not that I’m lazy, or anything I don't mind school, it just seems too easy. When it comes to stuff I truly care about I like a challenge to come with it. In this case it a highschool diploma, I kinda wanna feel like I actually worked for it rather than feel as though it was just given to me. I guess if class won't give me that satisfaction, my working on trying to get close to Adam will take over that roll. And just by how it has barely even begun I can tell I’m gonna have to work for it as hard as I do on calculus.

Chapter Text

I sighed, I’m not too proud or very sure that my ambushing Adam at his locker is the best way to start a chat with him, but a shot is a shot….right? I peek behind the wall at the row of lockers eyeing the other kids as they shove and yank stuff in and out of their lockers. After the 4 years the constant banging of metal of metal from the doors slamming is basically nonexistent to my hearing at this point. A few other students notice me but don't come at me to see what I’m doing. I expect a rumor or two to pop up soon. Not that I mind, I know what's true and what isn't so why should I care.

Adam has choir after school so he’ll be taking a while to get here, but that just serves as a bonus for me maybe something to chat about. Don't ask me why I know where Adam's locker is…..it's not important. With all the other kids gone from the hallways I am able to easily hear Adam's boots clicking away at the cement beneath them. I peer over, and sure enough there he is head buried in his locker, or at least from what I can see the door is in my way. I walk over to his side, he doesn't seem to notice me though. His head still behind the door.

“Adam?”...nothing...he’s just rummaging away at some papers. I sigh, this time I tap his shoulder.

God almighty I was not ready for the massive leap that Adam was gonna launch. “AH!”

“Fuck!” he even startled the shit outta me.

“Jesus Christ. You scared me.” Adam stepped back a bit and hunched over one hand on his chest the other on his knee.

I laughed nervously, “Clearly, sorry about that.” It wasn't until then that I noticed that his earphones were dangling from his neck. “ I didn't see that your were listening to something.” I look down, “ah shit, why is it that whenever I see you I manage to either eat shit or make you drop stuff.” I bend down and start picking up some papers, and folders around him.

“Uh, wait you don't need to do that I’ve got them.” I can hear a familiar nervous and even somewhat panicky tone from his voice again. I hear him start shuffling around start to pick up some papers that had fluttered off behind us.

“It's no big deal, I mean had I been less creepy this wouldn't have happened. Again really sorry about that.” I have a sizable stack of sheets in my left hand and notice as I pick up the last sheet that their sheets of music. Not quite the ones from school, but rather ones printed off the internet. The other ones are the same and they have notes and lyrics that I don't recognize. “Dreamer.... hey, Adam… are you writing a song?”

I look at him, and he has more sheets in his hands, and the look on his face says, “damn it why did you have to see that.” He is beat red again as he slowly come back and grabs the stack from me, he looks embarrassed. I’m convinced that this is just a permanent look that he carries when around me. “Uhmm, well…I guess….I’m not good at it though.” he shuffles through the papers, as if organizing them.

This seems like a better topic than choir. I smile, “Can I take a look? I mean maybe you're just being a bit harsh on yourself. You might have something going there.”

He's finished going through the pages and shoves another random sheets away in his locker. He doesn't turn his head towards me, but I can see his eyes kinda looking at a slight downward angle in my direction. He holds the sheet music close, “no...it's really not good….it's not-"

I frown, come one pretty boy just let me see them holy fuck. I put out my hand to him and he moves away slightly. I raise a brow, wow rude much. “what if I help you fix it, or maybe add stuff to it?”

I notice his brow furrow a bit and his eyes shift more firmly in my direction, “You...you know how to write music?”

“Well, no. But I play guitar and piano, if you have me some lyrics and a sound direction I could probably come up with something to play behind it, and maybe more lyrics could come from it. I can tell you the notes I play while you mark them down. That is….if you want me to help.”

Finally Adam turns to me, his face still slightly red “ugh, soo fucking cute.” his blue eyes holding my gaze. He bites his lip, and sighs putting the sheets into my hand, “I have most of the lyrics done but I can't play an instrument so the actual music is made more in terms of singing so being switched over to an instrument makes it sound wrong.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Do you mind if I take this home and go through it a few times? I have a camera on my laptop. If anything comes to mind would you be up for a video chat over Skype later tonight?” I take the sheets in hand and fan myself with them. I bite my lip as I look up at him.

He flinches again, looking away his blush deepens again, I can see his Adam's apple (how ironic) bob up and down as I see him gulp, “ ha poor thing is soo nervous. But god not as nervous as he would be if I were to lick his neck right now. I wonder if he has a sensitive spot around there?” he looks back at me straightening up, still beat red, not that he can help it. He nods reaching back with his arm scratching his back. “yeah sure, I don't mind. Just not too late my parents are pretty strict when it comes to being online too late.”

The short sleeve on his shirt is visibly being stretched by his bicep outlining his muscles there perfectly, “Jesus fucking Christ this guy is every gay man, and straight woman’s wet dream what the fuck” I mentally shake my head, “sure that's not a problem. What's their limit?”

Adam relaxes his arm back down at his side, and smiles. “10:30 on school nights. 11:30 on weekends.” He closes his locker and leans against it. Finally starting to untense himself.

I smile at him, “I can work around that. I’ll send you a message first so we can get it on when you're free.” and yes I did just shove that innuendo in there.

“I’ll answer back as soon as I can the. I’ll try not to leave you waiting for too long.” he takes out his phone, and his relaxed smile fades and it shifts back to panic. “oh, gosh. I’m late. I’m sorry I...I gotta go.” he turns around and starts jogging off, “see ya Tommy, I’ll wait for your message.”

I exhale a breath I wasn't even aware I was holding. As soon as he's out of sight “wow…….well if an innuendo like that flew over his head I’m in for a treat, and some work.” then I feel a smile creep over my lips. “And hopefully some lovely little sounds of pleasure that he will have no way of controlling.” I plant a kiss on the sheets in my hand, and thank god for music and having it bring me closer to Adam. I cannot wait for later tonight.

Chapter Text

(ADAM'S POV)

“Adam if you keep pacing like that you're gonna put a hole in the floor, and dad will pummel you for it.”

“Quiet. I'm just ...I'm trying to think, and relax.” I'm not actually sure how long I've been pacing for anymore. I didn't even notice when my little brother Neil came into my room, nor can I find it in myself to really care.

“I don't think walking back and forth would relax anyone. Your legs are just gonna hurt a lot later. Just take a nap instead.” Neil's laying on my bed kicking his legs in the air, his head dangling over the edge following me back and forth.

I sigh, and plop down on my desk chair, toss my head back and cover my face with my hands. “I can't nap,” I say through a small gap between my palms. Damn I've probably just wiped the hell out of my eyeliner now.

Fantastic.

I sit up and swivel my chair to my desk with my basic makeup set up, and sure enough. “Dammit all.” my eyes are all smudged out and it looks more like I've been balling my eyes out. Hair is still good though.

“Mess up the guy liner again? Why even bother fixing it, you usually wash it off after school.”
“No reason I….I just wanted to keep it on for a bit longer.”

“Adam, we got out of school 6 hours ago. A bit longer would mean max an hour after, and take out your contacts already, don’t you get headaches keeping them on for so long?” Cheeky little shit, must you be laser focused on every single habit of mine, I thought it was mom or dad’s job for that, and as the older sibling I should be prying on your habits. “Actually as a whole you’ve been really weird that past few weeks, and hehe it seems you’ve been packing on your makeup too. Anything good happen?”

I shudder, “No. Not really, I just… I dunno putting on makeup is just second nature now, I don’t really notice how much I put on. As for my contacts I just want to get used to them more, I don’t like having my glasses on." It's not a lie wearing makeup is a lot easier now I don't really have to think about it anymore, and my glasses ...well I don’t hate this new pair. The lenses aren’t thick anymore so they don't shrink my eyes like my old ones. Still I’d rather not wear them.

“I like your glasses better. You look weird without them.” Neil sits up and rests on the edge of my bed. “then again you've been wearing them since I was like 3 so I've just gotten used to them. The new thin lenses make them work better in the thin frames you like.”

“They never looked right in the old plastic frames, I just looked goofy.” they were an evil necessity, I can't wait until I'm 21 and I get surgery and not worry about glasses again. At least not until my age kills my vision again.

“You didn't look like a goof. You just looked like a kid with glasses, kinda like an anime character with glasses.”

“you mean the ones with the small dots for eyes?”

“No. More like…Arima Kousei, from Your Lie in April.”

“I literally have no clue who or what that is?”

“ugh, well he is a character with glasses, but many girls that I know have watched the show would argue his cuteness. With these new frames you look like every girl's dream attractive teacher. Which is why I asked if something happened. Say a new girlfriend.”

“WHAT?! No..no no no.” I could feel my face getting hotter. Curse ginger genetics. Screw it I'll just go without makeup…

I hear my bed squeak behind me.

“Never heard you that adamant before…..boyfriend then?” there is a small hint of a smile in his question.

“No...no. That's not…” why am I hesitating, it's not true…

“Amazing, alot less resistance there. But you're a terrible liar so it's not a boyfriend. At least not yet.” Neil walks up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

I catch his eyes in my vanity mirror, but I can't hold it for a very long time. He didn't have his usual cheeky smile when he teases me. It was warm, and happy. I wipe away my makeup with a face wipe. “He's just a friend.”

“Well I can't wait to meet him.” I feel him give my shoulder a squeeze before leaving my room shutting the door behind him.

Who knew that little brat had a heart. I do feel a bit reassured though. Shockingly. I'm not hiding anything I just ...it's never been necessary to say anything. At least I don't have to worry about Neil.

It doesn't take long to wipe off my face. I feel better letting my face breathe. I just wish it wasn't so covered in freckles. And as if on cue, my temple started to throb. But also on cue, my laptop chose to ding.

“Dammit”

I rush and send Tommy my Skype stuff and load up the window. And not even a second later, Skype is ringing. Thank god I have my contact case and drops in my room. I answer, and that oh so familiar 480p quality pops up Tommy's oh so familiar smile pops up.

“Hey Adam, catch you at a bad time? You look flustered.”

“what? Oh no, I was about to yank out my contacts right now, but you have fast fingers.”

Tommy's eyes go huge for a moment, and he suddenly burst into laughter, “Haha, all self taught, and muscle memory. Anyway go ahead and pop your lenses out, I'm not in a rush. I kinda miss your glasses.”

My cheeks suddenly feel warm. “I don't, not the old ones anyway. The new ones are better.” I slide my case near me and unscrew the lids.

“Oh yeah? Well wear them to school. I'm sure your friends would like to see them if they haven't already. I mean don't get me wrong you look great without them, but I'm sure your buddies miss seeing you with glasses.”

I finish popping off my lenses, and putting them away. I grab my glasses and glance over them. “I do feel strange not having them on. I've just gotten used to pushing them up my nose or having the frames vaguely in my peripherals.”

“Put them on man. Let's see them.” I hear rustling on Tommy's end and as I look up I notice that his laptop is further away from him, and he's shirtless, and he's in an almost fixed gaze. My breathing catches as I look off screen a bit. I feel hot again. Damn it, I change all the time in PE and see guys shirtless all the time, why is Tommy so different?

“Adam they look great on you, and don't take this in a bad way, but you look like a really hot teacher. If you had a full suit or slacks and a fitted shirt you would be set.”

I smile still only half looking at my screen, “Funny, my little brother said the same thing.” maybe I should wear them. At least twice a week to give my eyes a chance to breathe again. “I guess wearing them a few times wouldn't hurt.”

“Casual days only. Or just days you want to flaunt that adult aura you hide.”

Adult aura? “Nothing about me is even remotely adult.”

“Your body is, as compared to last year when I knocked you over. Case and point you knocked me on my ass the other day. Summer treated you kindly not only with better vision wear, but with overall growth.”

My face gets hotter and I hope the terrible quality on the video is enough to hide it, “ sorry for knocking you down," I scratch the back of my neck, “I need to stop flying around corners like that. I didn’t hurt you, did I?!”

Tommy laughs, and rubs a hand over his abdomen, “ No, not at all. Well just my manly pride, I hit puberty pretty early in middle school and left all my buddies behind, so having you shoot past me in more ways than one in just 3 months really shocked and humbled me haha.”

His playful laugh over my laptop made my heart sing, and I couldn’t help but smile. I’m not a fan of people talking about my body, but Tommy made it easy to hear. “Glad i could humble you then." I was so nervous about talking with Tommy before….how...how is he so easy to chat with suddenly. Then again this is over a call, and he us still managing to make me blush. Being in person will definitely be alot harder.

"Back to business now then. How's about we take a look at these lyrics Adam. Did you have a particular sound you were aiming for?"

Well here we go.

Chapter Text

"It's getting late Adam, guess I should let you go. I don't want you getting in trouble." I stretch scratching the back of my head watching his reaction. God I can't wait for technology to get better video quality. In the meantime good thing Adam's face gives some pretty clear indication of how he's feeling, I can't tell that he's blushing, but he sure looks shy.

"Y- yeah, think we can keep working on this tomorrow night too? I don't mind you holding on to the music for a while. If you come up with something make sure to share it with me next time. This was lots of fun Tommy, I was convinced these lyrics were no good, I guess I just needed the ear of a musician." He laughs softly. Why is this boy allowed to be so cute?

Back to shy please. I put my guitar to the side. If I'm gonna be shirtless on cam, better make a show of it at least. Terrible I know. " oh please. Adam you're a musician too. Your voice is your instrument, a very beautiful one at that. Think we can test drive what we have of your song on campus, I'd love to hear you sing."

Adam's eyes go wide for a moment, before that oh so familiar embarrassed look takes over his face. "Oh, well it's not that great. Maybe, I don't really sing outside the classroom or performing."

"Aww. Well do you think your teacher would mind me coming into your class. After your class is done of course. I don't want to interrupt." I stretch putting my arms behind my head, "bringing my guitar with me hopefully will help haha, so at least he knows it's a music related visit." I would mention how many times people have actually snuck into classrooms to fuck. I personally haven't and don't want any part of that, but wouldn't be surprised if teachers thought I had already. I'd rather not have that reputation going through their minds thank you very much. Much less Adam's teachers.

"I think as long as you aren't interrupting he shouldn't mind, but I'll ask just to make sure it's ok." Adam is rubbing his arm shyly. He pushes his glasses up his nose. "I don't really sing privately for people, so it might sound a bit shaky."

"Don't worry about that stagefright it natural, even if it is just one other person listening. If it makes you feel less nervous a friend of yours can stay and listen too. Maybe they might have some ideas to share, I could bring along my buddy Issac too, he plays drums so he'll definitely have some ideas." It's best not to try and attack him up front with a private meeting. He's a shy kid, and honestly I'm kind of interested in the people he hangs with.

It's almost shocking the amount of nervousness that I see fade from his posture. "That'll be nice, I'd be happy to meet Issac, all my friends are mostly singers too, one if my friends is trying to learn guitar. Having a drummer listening in will be cool, and if he's your friend he's probably really talented too."

"He is really good, he would be very happy to hear you praise him." That is if that dumbass doesn't let it go to his fathead. "I'll let him know when we can pop in. Issac and I can't sing to save our lives so it will be nice to be around more great singers like you and your friends. It will be fun." Normally I'm not the social type, but I think it's important that I do get along with Adam's friends. Or at the least make nice if, they most likely have their preconceived notions about me. I can't fault anyone but myself for that though.

"For sure, I'll let you know what my teacher says then." Adam pushes his glasses up his nose and eyes me a bit.

I bring my arms down and lean forward to my computer. "Something wrong Adam?"

Getting obviously flustered he stutters, waving his hand dismissively at the screen, "ohh! No-no not at all. Haha I guess I just froze up a bit." He shakily takes off his glasses, and starts cleaning the lenses with a small cloth, "I was just gonna ask, if you were going to sleep….r..right after this?"

He's only glancing at the screen, trying his very best to hide his embarrassment. Bless his heart. "Hmm, possibly but I do tend to stay up anyway. Being an insomniac my sleep schedule is pretty rough. Are you going to bed right now?"

Slipping on his glasses he looks up, looking a bit concerned, "yeah, it's just become a habit, plus wearing contacts tires out my eyes, if I don't let them rest I get pretty bad headaches. Does your insomnia affect you, you know besides your sleep schedule?" His head tilts to the side like a worried puppy. I can feel the cavities in my teeth forming.

"I get the headache, well actually they are more like migraines. They last longer depending on just how little I have slept. Dark circles, but thanks to makeup you can't really tell. And well boredom sometimes. It's not fun being a forced nightowl when everyone around you is knocked out. No one to really chat with. I just make do with the short bursts of sleep I'm granted." Fuck, have I really just blabbed off that much? "Sorry if I'm bumming you out with all that." Like seriously very sorry good god what is wrong with me.

Adam smiles, but the worry is still very much there. "No it's ok. Geez, it does not sound very fun at all. I'm already gonna guess you've looked up ways to try and fight it off to rest huh."

I nod letting my shoulders slump. "Yeah, nothing seems to help. Tea just keeps sending me to the bathroom, yoga bores me, I have medications but they don't work either. White noise machines freak me out. I couldn't tell you why though haha." God I'm depressing.

Adam's sighs, "Thought so. Well I do hope you find something that helps it go away." He runs his hand through his hair, he looks a bit disappointed, "I gotta hop off for real now hehe."

I smile at him. I don't like the idea of my sadness ruining his night. "I have kept you up longer than I should've. I'm sure something will fix it. You're really easy to talk to Adam. Rest easy, I'll see you at school tomorrow…" a guy can hope right?

He nods happily, "Wow, I'm glad I make you feel comfortable. Absolutely, I will. Have a goodnight Tommy. Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow." He grins, his beautiful face filling my eyes with warmth.

Suddenly I feel that warmth hit me, I smile nervously, "Goodnight Adam. See you."

He signs off waving with his sweet smile on his face.

Man, my face has never felt this warm before. I look up at my ceiling catching my reflection in the mirror above, and it is certainly doing its job. Because I look like a fucking beet right now. I shut off my laptop, and tuck my guitar into its case.

I turn out my lights, and fall back onto my pillow staring up at my mirrors, the smallest light through my curtains is enough to let me see my reflection again once my eyes adjust to the darkness. What is that face I'm making right now? I don't even know how to describe it. "Fuck" my eyes water as I feel a yawn come out. I chuckle, "that's different." I turn to my side and Adam's sheet music is there right next to me. "Dreamer indeed Lambert. Dreamer indeed." I breathe in letting my eyes close, and for once in a long time...I think I'll be in for a full night's rest.

And it's only 10:50pm