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Every time they see each other, he thinks, This will be the last time.
Sometimes he's wishing it. Sometimes he's fearing it. Sometimes he's mad about it. Sometimes it makes him feel lost. Sometimes it's a prayer, because maybe then twisting at the core of his being will finally stop. Maybe he'll finally have peace.
But no matter how he feels about it, when it's actually happening, that awareness that eventually it could be true--eventually, it could be the last time they see each other--it quiets him. It makes him put aside what he feels in the moment and embrace the sensation of… of... gravity. The gravity of her.
Rey/Ben
Rey/Kylo
Reylo