Chapter Text
Prologue
I-i-i'm going to be allowed off the base?”
“Yes Icarus. You will be monitored that you get to where we are sending you. You are the first one we have selected so I don't think you'd like to let us down, would you Svlad?”
The young boy shook his head fervently. He had been in the same place since he had turned twelve and he had been itching to find out if the world really did look how imagined it or if it was like Riggins had said it was. A world without colour, and without help for people. The boy didn't quite believe that. Everyone needed some form of help surely? And if there was no colour, how could he see the green outside when he tried to sneak a few years ago when he knew no one was looking?
That attempt had left him with a a beating or two from Priest and an extremely disappointed sigh from Riggins although it didn't stop him from trying once or twice more. He couldn't help it if he wanted something other than grey day in day out and having to answer questions or having needles pinned and pricked into him every morning and afternoon. Couldn't help if sometimes he felt so alone he cried until he could give nothing back, not even to his usual nightmares. He thought this place would have been something better. Somewhere he could have understood why the universe treated him like a rag doll yet here he was. Beaten and bruised and sometimes knocked into unconsciousness and far far too thin and his brain constantly whirring unless he was having to focus on breathing after another panic attack because he had caught onto to something which could have resulted in him not being sedated and strapped down for an event happening too late.
The sixteen year old had known nothing else and maybe this was meant to be his path for being unable to predict his mother's death and his father's mysterious disappearing act. He'd hidden in his home until Riggins and Mr Priest had come to collect him a week afterwards curled into a ball crying on his mother's coat, holding his father's old watch. Both had been taken from him the minute he entered Blackwing. He hadn't seen them again.
A blade against his cheek brought him back into reality fairly quickly, the boy scowling as he did so, this action having being repeated at least daily whenever he went against Priest's orders to quiet and be the experiment he was supposed to. Riggins knelt down beside him. Blackwing wasn't kind and he didn't want to be here any longer than he could. Every thought he had grew worse the longer he was kept in his prison. Riggins had promised him that at the age of fourteen, he'd be free to go. He'd lied. He tried not to meet either of the adult's unfeeling but maybe feeling eyes.
“You are special Project Icarus, and we want you somewhere we can trust while you're learning. You will be able to learn how to help your hunches and us more afterwards, which I know you'd like, wouldn't you?”
Svlad nodded. Knew if he did anything other than that, he'd be left in the complete darkness. He didn't think Riggins would lie about that at least.
“How soon would I be going?”
“You have to sit the exams in 3 weeks in the school gym with a few others trying out for theirs as well, so you get to be familiar with your surroundings if you make your way in, so you'll be going then. You will have an intensive course with someone we bring in and you will listen to them to make sure you get into their sixth form. We will supply you with the needed school uniform and equipment and housing. You're bright and we will not waste that”
“And if you do, I'll be right here Icarus. Waiting. Oh baby I love this place” Priest chimed in as he glanced round before he was dragged along with Riggins outside of his door. Leaving the boy to his thoughts.
A file was placed down into Svlad's hands the next day describing who he would be, how he would look and how he would act. He'd be the most closed off person only focusing on his work and making one close relationship with someone. Only one. They were not letting his time outside the base be for anything but their results.
He had almost teared up upon receiving the file. He had been hoping for something more. Something....lingering.
Instead a person in a lab coat gave him the file and scattered as he opened it hoping it would be something really cool and adult! Somewhere where he could start afresh, be someone who he wanted to be not what they'd made for him!
Which is exactly what Blackwing had already done by the time he'd gotten down to the end of the first page. Who was he anyways away from Blackwing? Did they not think he might like to try that out? Why was he even doing this? Who cared? He just wanted something new!
The thought entered into his brain How are they going to know? They're not going with you. After they let you through the entrance exam, they're leaving you there. They're dumping you and leaving, not doing anything else with you....you could just...do what you want to. You don't have to do what they tell you too. You could decide who you are instead. Leave this behind when you pass the exam. No one decides who you are or what you do. Not anymore. Not Blackwing. Only you. New could be on the horizon.
For the first time since he had been brought into Blackwing, Svlad smiled. He shut the folder sliding it back underneath the door for the same lab person to take it back to whoever was keeping hold of it and lay down on his rather uncomfortable bed, mind clear thinking about who Posner would be. He was not being called Richard for a start. Or dying his hair or just being able to simply 'forget' his Romanian although he'd lost the accent fairly early on living on the base. He could keep it on the down low so they never knew though. Keep it as a treasured memory towards his parents.
He went across the alphabet not having any name come to him until he hit the D names and his eyes lit up. He spoke to Moloch about it during his last visit with him first apologising for leaving and the next that David sounded like a fun name! He'd heard it a few times across his childhood, an uncle or something maybe not that he could have remembered that, and from one of the projects the colonel had let him see once or twice before they had been blasted for running out of the CIA building by Priest. They'd fallen to the floor and then to ash. He focused back on Moloch.
David sounded nice. He'd quite like to be called David. It sounded fun in his head. And it went with Posner really well! That was unexpected! Knowing he wasn't being monitored somehow. he knelt across and attempted to give Moloch a quick hug even if he couldn't give it back as a form of goodbye. Something still felt odd there, didn't know what but Moloch felt a bit out of turn whenever he visited. He shook his head. He could solve that mystery later.
He had some packing to do.
Chapter 2
Notes:
Description of a panic attack! It's not very mild but it's also not incredibly severe so just be careful if you are reading!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sheffield wasn't exactly the brightest of places, in fact it looked quite drab and dull. The church across the way seemed to radiate something calm and the park wasn't too shabby and he himself looked as if he was not one day from keeling over due to his wright and somewhat nervous exterior, but he'd gotten through the entrance exams so here he was. He had just about gotten along with his tutor, if anything she seemed to feel for him and detest the colonel and told him to really study so he got out. The boy had really liked that lady. They'd been driving round in circles for what felt like two experiments in two days despite it being bigger than Blackwing and then the car just stopped. He was told to get out, had his bags, keys and pencil case thrown at him and the person had just driven away like he'd been told.
Guessed now was the time was to get used to being alone. At least more alone than he had been physically. Mentally...was different. He grabbed tight of the key going up to the lock placing to twist it round hearing it click making his way inside to the fairly spaced house. It could have been another cell for all this charm so this was nice! It was just here maybe if he took down that ugly shade of brown wall paper and change it to maybe a nice purple with some white flowers it would brighten his spirits. There must be a little bit of money the CIA siphoned across as a precaution. On the plus side, there was an entire place to himself! Project Icarus seemed to become non existent as he went deeper into where he'd be living finding odd bits and pieces and noting that thankfully all the appliances seemed to work. He didn't know how to work most of them, but he could learn. He hoped.
The teen took a deep breath in. Let the deep breath out. Today was the day he was assuming his role of David Posner. He'd cut his hair the minute he'd found the scissors in the kitchen, it had grown far too much for his liking and he hated the tangles all before then stared in distaste at the clothing they'd only just guessed the correct sizes for set on the hangers in his wardrobe. The bed however had given him of the best sleeps he'd ever possibly gotten. No lumps or pain in sleeping on something too small for him.
He pushed through some of the mismatched t-shirts and found his uniform. The white t-shirt and black trousers with a tie he'd have to figure out how to put on, walked to the next room grabbing his book-bag to stepping outside into the fairly hot sun and then it was a quick cycle to the school he'd been shown by the man who'd dropped him off yesterday in the car. Not knowing how to ride said bike, it was a few times before he could even balance without missing one of the breaks. Figuring he'd have to catch on quick, he donned the bike promptly falling off it again. David Posner needed to ride a bike. Not having it was not an option. The universe needed to comply. After a few minutes and one swear or two later again kicking it into the proper gear smiling as he pulled the book-bag behind him now setting off past the church, past the families walking with their children and past a weirdly enthusiastic and shaped bunch of boys all yelling and laughing over each other as they shoved one another into the road and into each other, but back before a car could seriously hurt them. As he rode a bit further he noted they were having a discussion about something called a revolution and South Africa's government turning into what Priest would call an argument but the Rowdies would call a debate. That was strange. Mainly because the 'debates' back in America used to be about whether or not he'd get to eat that day. All of this seemed so....embracing. Calm.
It must be nice to have that sort of thing the boy had thought as he took his mind off figuring out how to stop the bike met the ground fully ready to tell it off along with the rest of the universe for allowing him to take him off his easy journey when the earlier group of boys he'd passed not a few minutes ago had instantly rushed over towards him all looking various states of concerned. No one had ever pulled those faces around...never would. Projects were projects. One of the faces had pulled out a comb and started running it through his hair when he noticed the man on the ground's eyes had opened aware and alert hanging back letting his friends take over.
“Heya, you alright? Nasty fall. I've done that once or twice but never near these gates. Imagine braining yourself on them. Need a leg up? Guessing from the uniform you're new. Notice how mine actually fits like? Hector did mention we'd be expecting some stuffy know it all with a passion for giving him headaches. You don't look anything like by the way, and your tie is wonky, let me fix that for you before Felix comes round and scoffs. Be awful getting detention on your first day. I'm Adil. Adil Akthar by the way” He said as he nodded to the boys to help pick the bicycle, and for some of the others to help the boy up frowning when he flinched a little at the fairly gentle contact. The accent was also very thick. Almost like his father's. Before everything went south. It felt a little bit nice really. Even with his Romanian roots.
“Our Scripps does the same thing and you know it, no point trying to hide it! Is it a new bike by any chance, it doesn't look as if it fits your frame and the handlebars are far too far apart for you, you need them closer together, I can take you to the local shop if ya like later or I can fix it for you, shouldn't be too hard. Me dad's a mechanic even if it's to fit that dodgy tyre. He's a bit cheaper than the local. What? He seems as green as they come! Or we can at least whenever we're done listening on to Hector whinge on and on about the great romantics. If they were so great that no one else could get a word in edge ways, what's the point?"
“Ah shut it Jimmy! You know love learning about Byron and all the ways in his letters. I'm sure the kid can fend for himself, who cares honestly? Now can we go? We'll be late otherwise and I'd rather not stay any longer with this conversation. He's clearly fine and this is boring me” The boy with the comb then pocketed it and started walking away with the rest straggling behind afterwards, most of them rolling their eyes. Only one stayed behind shaking his head at his friend's.
“Hey. I'm Don. Donald” A hand being held out at the same time.
“But I thought they just called you Scripps?” He tried making his accent to fit the boys one's making his a little thicker than first planned. Hard going but he did it somehow.
“Oh aye! You're more than a bit green no matter how much you're trying not to be! There's no hiding here, at least not with me if you like. Well there's no time like the present to learn, there will be time I assure ya. As for the name thing, my first name is Donald but I go by my surname Scripps a lot. It's just easier. There's a lot of Donald's around right now according to my mum and honestly when anyone calls me Donald, I assume it's a telling off. I've been Scripps to my friends since the lower years and I imagine I'll be known as Scripps until I die. Listen, I have to go into class before Hector decides it's hilarious to start an ongoing tangent about how we're all being stunted by a curriculum with no joy in learning into a fairly hopeless lust-less career but seeing as you're new, you need to go visit Felix. Our headmaster? Jesus, how green are you?! He's down the corridor as you turn right into that first building and it should be by the stairs. You can't miss it, not when it's got his blasted name on it. I imagine you'll hear him before you see him. Put your bike with the lock here and it should remain untouched by the end of the day. Listen I really have to go but it was nice to meet you even if it was on the ground. Don't be a stranger now!”
Felix wasn't at all like he was expecting. His new head reminded him a bit too much of the ways of Blackwing. He had the same glint in his eyes the way Riggins had. The results were the most important thing to gather and keep and the rest would be sod all. He felt all jittery.
The minute he'd been given his time table and a speech about the wonderful schooling he'd receive and not to mess any of it up, he'd had to go and have a quiet moment outside alone. It was all happening so quickly. How had he thought he'd be so prepared earlier, this was......something else. Keeping up the accent, keeping up the appearance all while thinking that this was the time he'd be having his blood taken or having Priest kick his shins when he got a question wrong. Could still feel the universe swirling round his brain wanting him to go this way and that and not letting him rest at all. Only stopping when the boys started to talk to him, kept in a mannered way. And yet....he was in a school corridor waiting to go to a lesson in clothing that apparently only just about fit him, and the only bruises he'd gotten was his pure embarrassment from falling over early this morning. The people had seemed nice, but nice never really cut it. The labs proved that daily.
He had to take a breath, he needed to take it now. He couldn't be David Posner if he couldn't start getting rid of Project Icarus. Of Blackwing. If he couldn't get at least try to get rid of the faces of the people who'd wanted to hurt him for so long. If he couldn't get rid of...of...Svlad Cjelli.
Despite the hands shaking, the glance at the timetable showed that at 10am, he had a lesson in History with Mrs Lintott and it was all the way (if he was reading this map right, if at all, it was quite flippy as well, he could easily have ripped it, what was the point if it was flippy?) across the building.
The shaking had to stop, he'd break the paper at this rate and he had to breathe as he now leaned against the cool brick of the wall not thinking of the way that if Priest was here, he'd have had his head bashed against it.
A hand bracing the shaking arm brought him out of it along with a person asking to follow their breathing.
“Jesus. We leave you alone for an hour and all of a sudden you look as if you're going to be making way for the funny farm!”
“I know it's hard because you're so accustomed to it, but you don't have to be this much of a tosser this early in the morning Dakin”
“I..i believe I got lost looking for Mrs Lintott's classroom. I don't suppose you two know where I happen to be going?”
Scripps and Dakin shared a look between them at the avoidance at what had just happened, at the fact the boy seemed to be calming down with the kind and constant reassurance then onto the fact that they were all going to be sharing a class now. Thank God it was people he'd met earlier. He sent a silent thank you up the sky. Dakin – the boy who'd had the comb earlier, and honestly if he looked further it was quite nice hair which shaped his face a little nicely, that looked very nice actually – snorted as Scripps' face started to turn more towards concerned than bemused.
“Hand us your time table then. Yep thought so. Wouldn't be with us lot if you weren't bright at least despite your prat falls. We have the same class, you can follow our lead. Well come on then Donald, help our lost lamb find his way. At least this way if you start quoting something, there's another person who might actually want to listen”
“And they say love is dead”
“Only mine for yours. Hurry up, I don't fancy getting yelled at twice in one week! Even if it is to help this one”
“We'd be there already if you'd stopped yacking. Honestly Stu. Come on then....uh sorry I don't think I..we actually caught your name earlier”
The weirdness between the two talking had made him slightly confused as he attempted to calm down. Was this all people talked in the outside world? And how were you meant to respond? Only his first day and already he'd failed most of it. And Scripps had called Dakin 'Stu', what did that even mean? Another surname thing? Then all of a sudden they'd been asking for his name. What was his name? He knew he had one, the other one. Lying seemed to be of the essence. The present staring him in the face. The very horrifying tricky present.
“My name's David. David Posner. Some of the people where I was before used to call me Pos. And didn't you say we'd be late if we don't get a move on? I'd quite like to go to one lesson at least today"
Notes:
Ahh look the boys have just met! I'll be honest, this might be one my favourite scenes to ever have been written. God bless them History Boys. Which is your fav out of the boys?
Chapter 3
Notes:
Bit hot in the UK right now, isn't it? Anyone else melting like the wicked witch of the west?
Chapter Text
Mrs Lintott was...interesting. At least he thought interesting was the correct word. No nonsense, and there were no tricks with her as far as he could tell, and he'd know about tricks after all. She'd welcomed him into her classroom, hoped they'd get along and provide sensible answers with allowances to be thoughtful, engaging, critical and to please take a seat.
He'd liked Mrs Lintott instantly.
He took the one in the front row and watched as Scripps and Dakin sat next to each other bashing each other's elbows as they took out their books and pencil cases out switching when they noticed one of the other needed a
spare ruler or had the other's textbook. Without even having to speak a word. The boys from the group with Scripps and Dakin earlier also started to filter in nodding to the teacher settling down ready to listen taking out their own school items. Akthar came and sat down right next to him pulling his book out and sticking his pencil behind his ear smiling at him asking if he had been all right making his way round so far. All the new boy could do to answer that question was make an attempt to smile and ignore the flailing in his chest that he did not have any of this equipment.
“Mr Posner, do you not have your books with you?”
With a small pep talk to himself about trying to really get into the role (and save himself from a bashing) he thought of what his fake persona would say if found in this position. His fake persona who he was discovering he maybe wanted to be. David Posner seemed like a person who actually had friends, some form of style and hopeful to be able to have the discussions he had heard earlier. Hopefully with his natural ability to pick things up study wise, he'd be able to get catch up with anything he'd missed having not had a proper education, all in all he didn't feel as ready for it as he did this morning, maybe it was late nerves popping in. Maybe it was the way the teacher stared reminding him of where he had been not a few days ago. He squirmed a little as he met her eyes spilling out his sentence.
“I....my parents didn't have enough time this morning as we arrived only last night. Only my uniform was here on time. I'll have them by tomorrow at the latest”
“Very well. I am aware you are new so I will let this slide once. However don't let it happen again. We are organised, ruthless and prepared in my lessons and not in the least willing to give way to whatever our esteemed headmaster wants. But if there is anything I would wish for you to walk away with – and I say this for all my boys as the rest of you well know – it is for your head to be held high, acknowledge the truth, listen to your instincts, and look out for your fellow classmates. We are not one left behind, we are a unit. Long may it reign. Now, today we are going to talk about Rome, Pompeii and a whole host of other things that the school boards believe I should be teaching but are so far nowhere near your exams that I want to let you all learn about art and the movements of Galileo himself instead, and no Mr Crowther you may not quote me on that”
“God, I thought today was never going to end. Thought I was going to go barmy” Came the voice of the person now known as Jimmy.
“You are barmy”
“Oh, score one for Rudge! He got you good Jim! Get in my son!”
The eight of them were walking out of the school gates loosening or losing their ties round their necks and flinging jackets over themselves walking towards some sort of white van tossing each other round again. Back in Blackwing, the boy knew that if you heard a van, it usually meant you were being carried round to the closed off part of the facility. Sound proofed. No one could get in or out without a key. He had to stop his hands balling into fists.
“What's wrong? Only the ice cream van. It's bloody boiling, and seeing as you haven't got basically anything on you and I think that extends to cash, do you want one? Don't even have to pay me back”
“I-i-i....I don't think I've ever really had ice cream. At least if I have, I can't really remember. I think I was quite young the last time”
Scripps stared at him. In shock or horror he really didn't understand. He grabbed Akthar by the shoulders.
“Oi, oi, what are you grabbing me for? I was just about to get mine!”
“He's never had ice cream. Never!”
“You what? How have you? How? It's almost like a kid's treat...well unless you count the fact that basically every adult goes for one. Don't let Scripps buy you one though, you'll end up needing less than you thought. He keeps asking for extra, the man's always sighing. Lockwood, oi! Jim! Get one for Pos!”
Akthar moved towards Lockwood to explain as Scripps rolled his eyes moving to make way for the other passer's by, and to make more conversation with 'David'.
“So, first day alright? I take it after we've eaten these - and don't wolf it down by the way, don't need you getting ill for your second day - I imagine that you'll be needing your bike? I need to get mine as well, I accidentally left it there yesterday after I got a lift back. Chain and all. Actually I think I live near you but you zoomed past us before I could ask. Past the church and up the hill right? Left or right side? Oh come on, tell us! We can go up and walk together tomorrow morning”
“Yes quite alright I believe. Can't imagine how I got in so late I forgot to get my other school stuff. That'd be nice, I'm still having trouble with getting on it so it'd be good to have someone if I fell. I'm not really one for many people. Actually this might be – even if it's only been one day – the most I've ever really hung round others. Especially one's who've decided to be around me willingly. It's nice. Yes I live up the hill since you asked. Left the minute you've finished the climb actually” The boy hadn't thought about worrying how to shape his new identity since Mrs Lintott's lesson but it seemed to be coming out fairly easily without even thinking about it again. So long as they decided to keep their pulling each other around by the collar away from him and asking what roman emperor was defeated in whatever year, he was happy with his first day.
“Here ya are Pos. I can call you that right? No offence but David sounds like a really old name, refined but not what I'd see you as. And since I'm the one who came up with it, only fair I get first rights and all”
'David' tried not to laugh as he was handed the ice cream over towards him from Jimmy ignoring the face's Scripps and Dakin were making since he had been told he'd been called Pos earlier, all of them sitting down on a wall near the entrance of the school. No one had come to test him, no one had come to beat him and the outside was beautiful. The sun was beaming down on him warming him gently focusing on the nice texture of vanilla and strawberry and now the voices calming him down making them familiar matching up the names to faces in his brain. No raised voices, no needles, no electrocutions or guesswork besides the ones in his English Literature and Psychology classes this afternoon. Thankfully being in a class with Akthar and Scripps in each so he wasn't on his own. Like he had wanted all this to be. Riggins could shove it. The world was lovely, and so were some of the people he'd managed to fall in with. There were others in the classes who'd taken to him as well however these boys....they seemed to be caring the most. Almost as if they had taken him in no matter what he said and just integrated in like they'd never been out of step otherwise.
“You can call me Pos, I don't mind. David actually happens to be a long running name in our family, and I know. A lot of people have said I look like a much different name but they never quite know what. Thank you for this by the way, it's lovely. I think I quite like it!”
“Yeah yeah, whatever. New boy and all that. I'm only doing it the once mind, well unless you get hazed out by any more of our teachers. God some of them can be right bell ends”
This time there were grumblings of agreement.
“So, David? Where are you originally from anyways, don't hear many Posner's about really” Crowther asked gently starting to lean gently on the wall making his way through his own sweet treat.
The quick thinking came into play once more as he tried to form the quickest backstory he could muster. Still smiling. Still eating something that had been gifted without hesitation or backlash. Tried not to eat all of it in one gulp fearing what Scripps would have to say after being told not to.
“I come from a Jewish background. We lived in Israel for a short while. Then my family decided we wanted to live somewhere else. Father got a job, I can't quite remember the details. It took us a while but eventually we wanted citizenship here. Thankfully passed the test after the five year mark. My father especially after the first job wanted somewhere less country like. Needed a place where he knew people existed he used to joke. He has better choices here anyways. There was some problems with where we were. Lot of anger. So I lived in Leeds until I was about ten or so. We all agreed on the moving fairly easily. I think I'll be happier here anyway. I think I'll miss the routine I had built up back there, but nothing else”
“Does this mean you speak Hebrew then?” Piped up Dakin now wiping his hands on the napkin he'd had his ice cream cone on.
“One would assume so” (He did have Jewish ancestry after all, his father spoke the mixture of Hebrew, Romanian and English regularly. It was the one thing he told his son to be proud of. His family and his history and to keep the words in his memory even when far away, He may not have been able to practise most of his Jewish faith before the world became so blackened towards his family but he was not ever going to forget. Blackwing never got to hear a thing, not even when colonel Riggins tried to taunt him about how his mother would be so disappointed, so disappointed Project Icarus)
“And now you're here. You poor daft sod” Rudge spoke up shaking his head.
“Alright lads, I'm finished and off, mum said last time if I stuck around too long I'd be kicked off the stairs without my pants on. Shame she didn't understand that was how Rachael's dad found me and her yesterday. It was only a kiss!” Exclaimed Timms.
“I'll come with you, I need to get home early tonight, it's my turn to do dinner. Pos if you bring yourself and your bicycle, I'll have dad look at it all on the weekend, just means you'll have to cope a little while longer. Don't get yourself tucked into the chains now. See ya tomorrow lads!”
The boys waved the pair off as then Crowther's mother appeared telling him to get his backside home, laughing as they went and offering Rudge a lift as well which he accepted with little grace.
“Dakin and I are planning to go the same way back today, are you going to be alright getting home you two?”
“Course”
“Don't be too long back, I don't want your mum ringing mine up again because she's and I quote 'lost Don' when actually you were sitting outside your house with a book forgetting to bring your keys out or knock. Try to get our new kid home without corrupting him”
Scripps rolled his eyes, clapped both of his friends on the back watching them go before they went back through the gates to collect their bikes and setting off for home their separate ways.
That week passed by fairly quickly, quicker than expected. He hadn't expected to settle in so easily or start adopting mannerisms akin to Scripps or his sudden crush with Dakin. The fact he stopped being able to meet his eyes so easily turned into the biggest problem since he mixed up Marzanna with Mona.
And all of a sudden it had turned into three months somehow.
They turned into the best three months of his life so far.
He had some friends in each classroom with all his three subjects picking up the texts easily and completing his homework happily all ready for the next day's discussion. He found a Saturday job in the local bookshop which he now aptly hopped on and off his bike to, before cycling to the church on Sundays to meet up with Scripps and go for a quick go round the town or off to his house for the rest of the day including meals. The teen really hadn't wanted this term to finish. Yet couldn't wait for the next one to begin. He may not have ever understood why Hector's helmet was tossed from one boy to another though awkwardness abound. Something tugged at him there for no reason. Not a good universe tug. Mystery for another day.
The group of boys turning into his tiny family always saw him on the way into school, sat near him in History and hung out after school when they were free. Sharing their lunches or let each other into their lives until they had to force themselves to go home. Weird.....just chatting, usually meant they were chatting to get information out of him, but here it was comforting somehow. Trusted information. Life, laughs and gentle teasing. It had taken a while to stop flinching or taking things so personally but he had learned. Just. He'd have to, these boys would pick on anyone and anything. The only thing that was ever off the table was their sexuality and each of their own personal religions.
They'd thankfully never asked more about his background but more about what poems or book he appreciated, and if he liked whatever he heard on the wireless. He was asked about his opinions during class, now finally having gotten to the level of his peers (thank god for those books and the willingness of his neighbours to help educate him, and his sort of quick thinking on the spot) and he felt...calmer.
Calmer in a way he never imagined he would be. There was still some underlying panic some days, some days where he faked being ill to be able not go in because he was so trapped within his memories, hands shaking, mouth whimpering and tears forming but never falling but he had been doing better. Those days the boys either with each other or on their own would without fail appear looking every bit the concerned brother taking in his appearance barging their way in making sure he laughed at least once before going away again.
The eight boys had come to regard him as the youngest of the group that needed looking after and shielding. Scripps most of all, even going so far as turning up at his house to make sure his homework was done and he'd eaten something only every two days of the week. Only all of it was drowned within the constant teasing and swearing saying they still loved him really. Maybe because he was so comfortable with who he was either pretending to be or because it was some form of defying who Blackwing had made him be.
There wasn't any of that surrounding him. Hadn't been for a long while. The waiting game he played with himself growing longer and longer, they weren't keeping tabs on him. No one had been saying projects or Icarus. No one was saying his birth name. Hadn't thought it for a week now himself.
Maybe it had been time to let some of his past settle round him, like dust. Trying to let it go. After all, there was no one else to stop him. Focus on these people around him. The people making him feel like a person not a plaything.
He could focus on just getting an education and enjoying having friends while it lasted. On the care and love instead of resentment. Just enjoy his life. Even the universe seemed to settle down understanding for once he had the grounding to keep going. At least he hoped there were no cases here, and the universe wouldn't punish him in future for staying in one place too long. He could be David now. He was going to be Posner until he physically couldn't.
Time to stop being nothing.
Chapter Text
“I'm honestly glad to be out of that lesson”
“Why? Hector as per usual did bugger all” Chimed in Dakin slumping down with his bag next to David who'd just spoken.
“Seriously? End of the year per chance? No more summer exams? Or did you not want your holidays?”
“Shut it you, I bet you aced the exams. Didn't even need the extra tutoring, utter cock”
David grinned at the praise shuffling a bit closer towards Dakin without noticing. The end of the first year of A-Levels had been a fairly stressful time for all of them, especially when the stress coupled with David's other thoughts that he heard familiar voices around or the day right before the exams ended up having one of the worst nightmares of his life so far. There were only so many times he could dream being taken away from this band of boys he'd grown so very happily accustomed too attempting to erase his former life. Of dreaming away the poets and books he'd been tossed recommendations from all his teachers and Scripps by.
Scripps had told him right before they'd gone into the gym to sit them that it would have passed. Everything to them was stress. Things like forgetting your textbook happened. The mantra saying it would pass lasted all the way into when they sat in their seats to take the test. Thankfully it had. The day after had been freely devoid of anything Blackwing and hurtful. Now it was a week after and the two boys sitting down next to him on the floor of Dakin's house were discussing holiday plans and waiting for the heat to settle down a little to get on their bikes back home. The others had all gone with their families already to other places.
Least they'd gone willingly.
On reflection David hoped he passed, he really didn't want to not be here lying down groaning as the two other teens next to him talked about the importance of keys to pyramids if they'd had them in that era. He'd rather be watching Chris act than now listen to the topic of the conquest of Fiona they'd moved on to. David really wished for the next year to come already, he knew there might be a decline in students if they had not met the proper standards, something they'd heard from Felix in the corridor but he hoped it wasn't too bad. So long as his friends were there, there'd be no complaining. The start of another topic brought him back out of his head.
“You going to Rudge's match in two weeks?”
“Oh I dunno. Have to see what mum and dad think. If anything's to be believed, it's the fact I don't get out enough. They'll most likely say yes specially when they realise it's nothing that will cause them upset. I think they'd faint at the chance to see me anywhere besides a library. You going to come Pos? You're the same as me”
“I...think..i'd rather not. And not just because my parents think I need more of a social circle”
Both the boys sat up straight, Scripps nudging the edge of David's socked feet. He'd gotten used to the causal touches now.
“You have to go! We're mates! Rudge would be devastated if you weren't there!” Scripps continued with Dakin nodding a little wildly.
“How would you be able to tell? He keeps the straightest of faces I've ever seen!”
“Pos! How would you feel if you had a concert coming up and us lot didn't turn up to support you”
Ah yes, his well crafted lie of saying he liked music so much he wanted to be able to sing it, and then having fallen into his own trap of actually enjoying it, his blonde haired friend joining in with piano accompaniment. The thought was there thinking about his daft but carefully concealed friend. Peter Rudge was one interesting character and that said a lot for someone who used to be experimented on.
David eventually stopped wondering if he'd be left behind. Especially when the teen had gotten really badly wrapped Christmas presents from the seven of them, and he'd had to figure out what to get each of them. He'd missed the Christmas Eve rush instead crafting them a quick story or poem with a little overly emotional message about thanking them into their special group. They'd all teared up a bit. Not that they'd ever tell him, he'd seen their tears himself. He got more hugs than ever before from that. At least the hugs before shoved into the hellhole that was the CIA. But he'd been told by Riggins that he needed to be there; it hadn't been safe out in the world for him at such a young age, the consideration that people would want to do much worse than they would in order to figure out how he got his psychic powers. Now only realising the lies told to get him to stay there for their own amusement, the grey filtering back into his world for a minute.
The door knock drew them all out of their thoughts. Rolling his eyes as Dakin made no move to get it, David got up to answer.
Stood on the step was Rudge himself.
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I thought you were on holidays?”
“I was. I mean I am, I will be but I wanted to make sure you're coming to the match in a few weeks. Yeah one minute mum! I'm just talking to Pos! Posner? David?! I've told you about the new kid! No I know it's been a year, he still counts as new! Anyways getting back to it, I want to make sure you're coming with us, wouldn't be the same without everyone there”
“But...why? I mean not that I'm not grateful for the offer but -”
“You're my mate, aren't you? Mates support mates if I remember. Don't really know where you get all the energy but I'd quite like it if it was in the stands cheering. I gotta go but I expect to see you there, alright? Have a good hols”
He clapped David on the back and walked off yelling at his dad that he was getting in. David tried not to let the tears build. Emotions had always come easily to him. The colours easing back in as the sound of Rudge's car left the street. Scripps smirking in a told you so way as Dakin rolled his eyes.
“Alright now we've got our happily ever after moment, can we please get back to talking about the fact that I have still not got a double date for Saturday”
Moment over then.
David lay back down on his bed that evening wondering how his life could possibly be this nice right now. He was happy. Really truly happy.
He got his exams done hopefully going through to the final year of his A-Levels with a good set of teachers he could rely on, a job at the bookshop helping him get money to afford food and drink, a nice place to live in (thankfully paid off from Blackwing, no cause to stress out about that at least) and he had a good set of people surrounding him.
Those seven boys were something of a saving grace. They'd let him in. He let them in. He took the time thinking about the ways in which they showed their own ways of friendship to each other not bothering with reading his on loan Persuasion book from Scripps. According to him it was one of his favourite books and needed Pos to read it. A few pages in, he understood why, wondering if he could get his own copy from the bookshop.
Always planning something Lockwood and Timms. Always. Anything to be able to get a rise or a laugh somewhere along the line. Timms always picking up something from the corner shop because no matter what people said, despite his rough edges, he was quite gentle when the time called for it. David bet if he told anyone that they wouldn't believe him.
Always making up 'Endings' for Hector to guess and always losing money. The happiness he was feeling actually being taught by someone who liked teaching their subject for Totty, and just enjoying their regular lunches together. Akthar always ringing his landline somehow just knowing if his friend needed a moment to collect himself and chat because he felt lonely knowing he was often alone in the house. None of them had picked up on the fact his whole family were false. Or that having such an empty place was a stark contrast to the overly crowded base. Amazing they'd known he was often alone despite said false family.
Sometimes Stu – which he had thankfully learned was short for Stuart a few months in hearing it from his mum in a huff once or twice – would leave them to go chase after someone he fancied leaving David confused as to why it wasn't him, or they listened to Crowther speak his lines in his first play, all of them cheering the loudest and hearing Jimmy talk about what the proper working wage should be or how they were all systematically being shunned because of their age, class status and all other things Lockwood thought the government had tried to fuck themselves out of.
In school with Scripps they'd trade songs for serious conversations only stopping once it got too much and they had to raise their concerns. The moment David had accidentally added a y onto the very end of his surname made him freeze. The young boys so focused on trying to win board games against the others, he'd tripped up. Scripps had smirked, said he could use it if he wanted to. After all he'd also said that David was actually one of his best friends now. 'Pos' according to all of them needed looking after.
Scripps ended up becoming one of the closest people he'd let in since his mother.
David fairly unsure how to feel about that.
The sun had finally set leaving the darkness to surround the bedroom as David's mind started to switch off. Only the lingering memory that next morning that things were shaping up to be okay. They were all seeing over each over the summer holidays and opened up his letter in the next month to see he passed to get through to the next year of Cutler's. He glanced over it taking it in for more than he needed to as if he couldn't believe it, his brain still trying to process it. The facts were there. He wasn't moving. He was staying at Cutler's. Another year with these people. With this education. David started to hold the paper tighter moving to hold it against his chest smiling wider, jumping when hearing a knock at the door and a voice through the letterbox.
"Oi Pos! If you're in there, we're all going out to dinner tonight to celebrate us getting into next year, i imagine you've got in to, so we'll see you at seven! Oh and don't forget to dress up nicely, according to Donald, he wants pictures. I told him to stuff it but you know once he's got something like that in his head, it doesn't leave. Either Adil will come pick you up or I'll get dad to come this way from the shop. Just be ready by then yeah? Alright, see you then Pos!"
David was fairly sure that Jimmy could hear his barely concealed laughter at how loud he was being and the bows he gave as he passed the strangers by on the street.
"Guess I should start finding something to wear then...or maybe I after I finish this chapter of Persuasion...oh why is the phone ringing now? Oh hello Mrs Dakin, no Stu's not here right now, of course I will, no i'm okay thanks, yes I know I'm definitely seeing him later...."
Chapter 5
Notes:
Very happy to say that heatwave has passed a bit and I'm back to feeling like a person once again. Back into this verse we go. Aaand Strictly announcements have begun in full force, I'm so excited!
Chapter Text
The exams had proved to see people leave as predicted. The history group turned into just his group of boys and his English and Psychology were down to just ten people instead of the thirteen. David had suddenly started to see what happened when lifts were given home by Hector and couldn't decide how to go about getting rid of the ridiculousness of getting into a university. Didn't understand the jealously when during their final term to make sure they got into Oxford or Cambridge they got another new teacher but otherwise grateful when halfway through he had noted that he looked at Dakin as much as he himself did.
Couldn't understand the note he got through his door the other day, tried to ignore it, Breathed in and out a couple of times. This changed some things. Knowing the place was being shut down but still feeling the pull of the universe put him into a numb state. He put it in his pocket shutting his door quieter than he ever had then jumping when Scrippsy appeared right in front of him.
“Heya. Noticed you scarpered fairly quickly out of class yesterday. You know sharks aren't out to get you, you know?”
“I am aware of my social, relationship and situational status, thank you Don”
“Don't be a prat. Irwin could be worse and you know it”
“Suppose so. I know I've been....distant since the term started -”
“Distant is not the word I'd use”
“Well what word then?”
“Reserved”
“Standoffish you mean?”
“No! I mean the fact you never really talk to the boys as much as you used to. I know we sometimes go a bit far but we haven't done anything have we? Jimmy's practically up in arms worrying he's nicked your favourite book”
“I....I've had some trouble lately”
“What do you mean trouble?”
“You are the only one who I feel like I can tell absolutely everything to. Right now, I mean. I know the boys have an inkling I'm...but the town, could you imagine what would happen?”
“It's not the dark ages”
“Sometimes it feels like it is”
Scripps let out his breath his face going from annoyed to concerned.
“Any one says anything, we'll protect you. All of us. That's what friends do. I don't know what's going on with you, especially right now but please let us in David. Before something happens and we can't get back to you”
David nodded at that a little bit taken aback by the sincerity. Shouldn't have expected anything less. Still didn't want to say what exactly he was scrunching in his pocket tethering him to this moment.
“Listen I have come here for another reason. Picnic in the park. All of us, come on before we have to face the dreaded next week of Stu fawning over Irwin, at least with Totty we get some sense”
“And with Hector we get the great poets and loss of money. Wonderful. I'm coming with you, and you are right, I have been less myself. I think it's the loss of Sheffield coming up, maybe even the threat of losing each other to different uni's so I've been trying to push away so it doesn't hurt as much and now it's hurting more. I'll make a bit more of an effort, we've only got so little time together properly left. I'll even say sorry” That got a laugh out the pair of them as Don clapped him on the shoulder ready to walk ahead.
Friends almost like family if he really wanted to make that leap and something worth having if the looks of surprise and relief were to be believed, including the almost too tight hug from Akthar and clap on his back from Timms, Rudge and Lockwood. Things were going to be okay. He'd go from school to university, he'd get his degree and while he'd miss some of them he'd still keep in contact. Just David too much in his own head again. They'd all be okay. He was going to be okay.
Chapter Text
Things were not okay.
Things were definitely, definitely not okay.
The lying to get into Cambridge.
Actually being in Cambridge away from comforting presences. Familiar faces. Enjoying what he wanted to study.
This stupid Sheffield accent he couldn't get rid of. Unsure whether he'd like to.
The lying to still be being someone else even if he was happy to have been it last year. Things had changed. They'd changed so suddenly.
Dakin.
Irwin.
History.
The bike.
Hector.
That stupid, STUPID, corner pulling them all into stunned silence.
Everyone David cared about. Gone. Wrong. Left alone. Again.
Chapter 7
Notes:
GBBO, Strictly AND Celeb Masterchef all on soon? Are ya kidding me? Sometimes it's the little things to look forward to. Like knowing even if only for a week, you get to witness Seann Walsh dance live in sequins on TV in front of a nation. Pure, pure joy. Hopefully like this chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
David had given up. Dark circles shaped his face, and he never bothered much with clothes or keeping up appearances in societies much now either. What was the point after all? He'd been alright up until that accident. (As alright as a former Blackwing project could be). Until studying History and making up all sort of things that weren't true finally got to him. All the things Mrs Lintott had stated back in school were turning out to be true. People could be as heartless and cruel as the CIA. Rudge's point staying with him a year or so on. After all his life had become been one thing after another. Had since the boys started to fall out of touch with each other slowly but surely despite reassurances. According to Scripps, that sometimes happened with people. They flitted in and out, and it was rare to have someone being in your life all the way through. How was David supposed to know that? Even if he was too in himself to notice they still tried to get him out with the pub invitations, only when they got there he felt as if he had faded into the background. Maybe he'd been enjoying life until his brain had decided to fall in whatever it was with Stuart bloody Dakin and lost all vague hope.
The nightmares came back.
So did the panic attacks.
The complete and utter breakdown he hadn't seen coming. He'd lost what he thought had been his stable grip on the world. Lost the people he'd grown to call friends. Second family gone. Memories of hearing about the accident from Mrs Lintott with the boys repeating round and round. Ignoring who he was; having tried to run from it, he got Irwin injured and Hector killed. Dakin wondering on the what if's. Only a handful of them to Cambridge, the others to Oxford doing their own thing. Even his books that he'd been writing in started moving from his vision as he collapsed to the ground crying having not slept for two days running. Everyone left him in the end. No one wanted to be around someone who constantly spouted maudlin quotes and gave in so easily to mood swings. No-one wanted to hang around with someone who was fairly jumpy and always on the look-out for escape routes. Who knew that everything he was made up of was wrong. Wrong, wrong, WRONG. David finally giving in to the universe's telling off. As if he'd ever be allowed to remain in a kinder environment, with people unwilling to destroy him.
He needed an out.
In hindsight this maybe hadn't become one of his best ideas. Stupid connection to the universe.
The exams coming up looked vaguely familiar to him. Weirdly familiar. His tutor last week had set some extra exam prep and he was sure that he'd seen it in the one he was delving into now. Patterns matching up. Or sleep deprivation. Be easy to get a sense of what the upcoming ones would look like. Just guesswork. David was great with guesswork after all. He needed somehow to get a handle on things again, bring something back to himself that wasn't his hunches.
Fairly dismayed with how things had been going, he took the opportunity. He started selling the papers, showed what the students were prepping for. If he needed to get away, he would have the funds to do so. Quite amazing they all believed it. Even more amazing as he kept getting paid. He kept that money hidden in his suitcase buried underneath other jackets and the like.
It lasted a month before someone up top found out. Wondered who had ratted him out. All the people who had gotten their answers beginning the claim that he must be psychic (which he was not! He was not!) and being sent down the minute they got wind of it.
Another week before he was sent to prison.
David had run out of tears to even care the room looked just like his Blackwing one. Minus the window.
Cared even less when he found out that he was being let go after a week, all of them giving him a look of fear mixed with suspicion. David knew that look, understood it even. Only the CIA had that pull over him.
They marched him back towards St Cedd's around eleven in the evening and knocked on a door known all too well before they cuffed the back of his head stating that seeing as he had messed up so badly, they were planning to get Priest to take him back. The other not being too bothered about letting it slip that actually wasn't the place shut down? The more experienced man pushing his elbow into the ribs. They left him there after having knocked twice again annoyed they hadn't got an immediate response. The elder almost yelling at the CIA operative asking if he really was that stupid, Priest asked for him so he got him and no just because the place was shut down did not mean he got to yell about it!
The door opening far too quickly. The two men leaving saying they'd be back if he wasn't careful.
The man behind said door biting his lip in worry looking even more haggard than David felt.
Scrippsy was going to kill him.
“What in the actual bloody hell fire did you do Pos?! Have you heard the talk round the shop? Don't answer that actually because I suspect you bloody well do”
“And what's that then?” Came the flippant response as Don shut his door circling towards his mate rubbing his hands over his face and mussing up his hair in agitation.
“They're saying you've been sent down after selling answers to the history exam and that you...you were sent to prison last week! Do you know how much I've wanted to fight you to get a proper answer on this? Yet you've been no-where to be seen. I've been defending you saying that although you were green as they come, that you were someone I trusted. Implicitly. Someone who wouldn't do such a stupid and unnecessary thing! Because unlike some of them in the class, you actually have a brain and ye knew how to use it! I know the last year has taken its toll on you, David, on all of us in fact but this is something else. Please tell me I was wrong and haven't looked like a complete and utter berk for the past week” Scripps started pacing the room.
David came down to sit on his best mate's bed from the doorway. Ignored the exhaustion lingering as much as the hurt. He avoided the eyes.
“Jesus!”
“I thought you were against taking the Lord's name in vain”
“No, enough of this! Enough! Tell me what the hell you did! And why! You know how to use your brain, so why haven't you?! I know you still don't see reason to keep in touch even with what I said last year but I've had all the boys running round asking if you've needed help getting out of trouble. Please. Just tell me Pos. I just need to understand why”
“I'm sorry”
Scripps stopped pacing. Face falling. Hands coming out of his hair, down his face to rest on his hips. David kept staring at his hands and speaking to them instead of his friend. If he was ever going to be honest with someone, it'd be Don. It'd always been him before. He'd come a long way from being the broken sheltered boy. In some ways he was still the broken boy but he definitely was not sheltered. The Cutlers boys had fully seen to that. In the most disgusting and ungodly trials. There just needed a way to fix whatever, however he was and then he'd be fine. Away from the trails of the universe. Away from making terrible decisions and having to walk away from people he loved. Be better. If only there had been a way to do that. However nothing. Stuck like that no matter what. He'd tried to disconnect himself from the not psychic ways but not getting anywhere from it. Scripps still standing going to no nonsense arm folded waiting.
“I had these ideals. What living or studying here would be like. None of them really got me going in the end. I think I wasted my chance here. And my time”
“You wasted your time? You've screwed your life up!”
“My life was already screwed up before I came here!”
“What, because of university or because of Dakin?!”
“Because of Blackw- No. No, you don't need to know. I have had many things happen to me and prison was by far one of the easiest to get through. None of you noticed that I was going downwards, you just cared if I kept up with the matches or dating stories or the next moment where we all attempt to figure out a conversation that doesn't start with Sheffield or watch Dakin's eyes fade out a little further. I've seen them, don't deny it Don! I'm not in love with him nor have I felt tied to him for a while but he is still hopefully a friend, and I haven't known how to help. How else are we meant to say look what happened to the eight of us when we're the only ones who actually understand because we lived through it? How we barely talk any more or that we're none of us are studying something we actually don't want to really because our headteacher turned out to be a self backstabbing hypocritical tosser?! I've been alone for most of my life and I thought maybe that was finally over. But these past few months? They've shown me that it's not. I'm destined for this, always have been I suppose. I always end up wrong and alone because that's how this works Don. The universe is just going to take me somewhere new. The only choice I get to decide on is how I adapt to it”
“You're not making any sense David! You aren't alone! We've all been there literally and figuratively, I swear we have, and not just because we wanted to keep an ear on the ground. We've all had those moments but we've reached out and helped. You always seemed so stable that I think we noticed what was happening too late, we knew you had been spiralling since Irwin and we never just talked, and we should have seen you. I'm seeing you now Pos, even if it's just a shadow staring back”
“I need a place to stay this evening”
“I just want my mate back. I want to be able to talk to you like we used to, go into the music rooms and muck about. Spout nonsense quotes, laugh at things. I miss him by the way, case you hadn't noticed. It's like you're someone else these days. I just want you back unharmed”
“That's all?”
“That's all”
His friend blew out a breath walking from his position opposite sitting down next to him.
“How'd you even get out of serving the rest of your sentence?”
“I just need a place to stay. Scripps. Please”
“Pos.....David, why aren't you answering me?”
“I am”
“No, you're not. Not the ones that need answering. But I will let it go. Only because you look like death warmed up. Just...Please don't start hiding things like this from me anymore”
“No promises”
The minute Scripps fell asleep, David started packing. Shoved the money in with the suitcase. Blackwing or Mr Priest or whoever were not going to get him or his friends. Blackwing were not not above blackmail. Wasn't even going to give them the chance. He'd heard Wilson's voice when they bailed him out before she sent the two men to walk him back. Heard that Priest wanted him even if the CIA had made the wise if too late decision to shut that place down. He needed to run. Earlier than he had planned. He should have run the second he was bailed out. Hopefully the universe would comply in a line he could see for once. Shouldn't have stayed with Scripps. They'd be questioned. So would the other boys. Blackmail repeated in his mind like a worn mantra. His old school friends were not going to be tortured by someone who had defied the universe to be there. Blackmail round and round. They deserved better than that.
England. They'd be looking for him in England. Meaning he'd have to fly somewhere else. Passport intact. Could easily slip past the deans. Different name, different haircut and wardrobe. Different persona. Needed a different persona. Not something where he lived in the sadness of himself. Where he felt compelled to make up for deaths and injuries. No matter about the family he had gained, just had to leave it behind. David deserved to disappear. He couldn't keep himself tied to this. Even as he had attached himself to David Posner, the universe and his past found a way to ruin it all somehow. Maybe one day he would be able to go along peacefully with the name and the life but not now. Not now.
He found a pen and paper – Don always had one near due to his journalism – and wrote down what he needed to before grabbing his rucksack and coat, slipping out of the grounds and into the blackened night.
Scrippsy
Don't come looking for me.
No, I mean it Donald. And I used your full name so you know it's serious.
I'm okay. I mean at least I hope I am.
I had to get away. This was all just a wonderful dream but I fear I dreamt too far. If I couldn't get away from myself, then at least I could make myself get away from you. From the boys. I hurt others and I always have. I don't think I can any further.
I'm sorry to walk away like this. It had to be done. My life is on the line. So was yours.
I hold out some form of hope I'll see the seven of you again when my life is steady. More able to breathe. but then I never really get what I want or in the way I want it (the universe making me do it's bidding I imagine) so I suppose I'd have to say wish me luck as you wave me
Goodbye
David.
Chapter 8
Notes:
Short but sweet! Hope everyone who is going/gone back to school this week has a lovely term and remember to ask if ya need help whether it's for homework or another issue you might be going through. (Never forget the time I got lost trying to find a room and ended up being 10 mins late...it was the second week as well. Goodness sakeee). <3. Xx
Chapter Text
Dirk noticed Farah scribble 2018 into her notebook as Todd tapped his own pencil against the table staring out at the open window.
Wendimoor had only been a year ago but still sometimes felt as if it was a month ago. The ups and downs had taken a toll on them all. Then Todd and Farah stayed, built the agency with him. Unbelievable. Quite frankly thrilled that he got to keep Todd and Farah with him, the last time he had felt like this had been – no – Dirk cut off that thinking fairly sharpish, there was no need for that right now. He spent enough time back then to now looking up what they were doing, wondering at least twice a day how they were and if they'd forgotten him. Having broken down a few times when he was back in captivity really needing to hear their voices telling him to not back down intermingled with Todd's sentences about them being friends. At least he knew the universe had let them meet in the first place. Maybe the universe would let him run into them again, just hopefully not near the agency. Not when just last week they'd all solved the mystery of the missing grinning hamster!
The detective swivelled round on his chair enjoying it as he made his way away from those trains of thoughts. Things were really good lately, calm at a stretch waiting tentatively for the other shoe to drop. Which it did in quick succession. The universe really did like to make it's move at the most inopportune times.
The phone next to his assis-friend rang out loudly shocking them all out of their quiet stupor and pages of paperwork. Todd answered it after a few rings then started to frown a little as he he listened to the caller.
“If you could slow down enough for me to take your name down? What do you mean you don't want to be named? No we are not the yellow pages for non-business, what even is that? No, we don't have a David or a Posner here. Is that even a real person? I only ask because the name sounds ridiculous. Whoa! Okay it's a real name, I'm sorry. May I ask why you're calling if it's not relevant to what we handle? Do you have a case for us to handle or not?”
Dirk sat up in horror shaking the effects of the room spinning from one too many go rounds on the chair. Started to stand and make his way round towards Todd only stumbling once. They couldn't have him. Needed to listen to the potential voice, that was the only way to know who was pulling this dark prank on him. Only a few knew that name and one of them happened to very muchly dead! Very, very dead!
“No I am very sure there is no David here....hello? hello?! Wow he sounded fun, you okay Dirk? You look as if you've seen a ghost, ghosts don't exist do they?”
“I would hope not. I am not dealing with ghosts right after what we just have. Dirk, I think Todd's right, you look....do you want to sit down? I think you should sit and just...uh...follow my breathing because you seem to not be doing that”
At a guess he mused, it sounded like Timms but Timms was busy doing.....something back in England surely? He knew they most likely met up in Sheffield on a weekend often living their lives like how they were supposed too; looking at Christopher Crowther's Facebook confirmed that as a start. It was either him or Hector and it was in no way him. No, he was not investigating a potentially life revival of his former history teacher who hurt the lives of his students. Something he used to wish for, but had learnt seriously from. Once he'd even thought about punching his general studies teacher if he had been alive.
Who would have a need for David anyways? He ditched him long ago. The only person who kept trying to search for him was Donald tutting inadvertently out loud when it came to his vague mother henning friend - even Jimmy used to tell him to ease up before he got his knickers in a twist - Both Todd and Farah still trying to get him to copy Farah's breathing.
Now someone calling Pos? ( a mixture both filled with elation and regret) No. He would fight that with everything he could. The boys were not to be involved. Dirk's life had only just been let off the wire he'd been tip toeing across. He wouldn't be jumping back. Even if some small uncertain part told them to snatch the phone from Todd and say hello.
No-one had to know about who the broken teen he once used to be or what led him to America, or from it even quicker. No, Todd and Farah were not to know about David either, they'd wonder why they didn't spring Dirk out of his shell sooner, or they'd get territorial. Jump for joy. Whoever had made the call to make him think about his lost not lost Cutler boys – to use a favourite term of Timms – was an absolute wanker.
“That wasn't me, that was weird right? Like, not just usual weird but weird. The insistence that the man could be here was insane. And like maybe I shouldn't have said anything about his name but my point still sounds, it just sounds unrealistic, made up. Like, he just kept asking, Farah. Do you think we could, I don't know, find him on the internet, see if the story is real? Facebook page maybe? Twitter? What do you think Dirk?” Both of them locking eyes on the man standing noting he still looked pale. Paler. Dirk certainly had to get them off of this.
“I think maybe we leave it. The man clearly sounds a bit deranged and I think we have had enough of madmen for the time being, don't you?”
“Dirk, this is clearly something” Farah chimed in.
“What if it's not?”
The pair then just stared at him folding their arms in perfect synchronicity.
“Okay so it might be something because yes, odd! I just don't know whether now is the time to start investigating it! No clues, no hunch, no symbols! No universal imbalance! I...There's nothing. I suggest we leave it for now”
“Are you serious, you never turn down a case”
“That you know of”
“No I know you don't”
“What else do you expect from me? You're always expecting the utmost from me, I can't do it all the time! The hunches don't work like that, you know this! 'Lord, what fools these mortals be!' We're not fools! Hopefully we never will be. We don't take on unnecessary things! I just don't want to investigate the case right now!”
“Did you just quote Shakespeare at me? You literally just quoted Shakespeare at me. You've read Shakespeare? You, Dirk Gently? You don't know what bringing a knife to a gun fight means but you know a quote from a Shakespeare play?!”
Dirk clicked his mouth shut at Todd's reluctance to accept he at least knew some things. Brought his head down a little. Expected to have heard a 'Yes, Shakespeare,very nice' or moans from the other boys. Felt a bit lost. Clearly jumped the mark a bit. Just a bit. Maybe a tad. Definitely more than a pinch. Retreating back seemed wiser. Retreating always seemed wiser. That never led him to moments like now.
“Are we going to finish the paperwork or?”
“Hey Dirk, you wanna go for a coffee run instead? I think I'm losing my mind a little, Farah can keep up with anything for now. That okay?”
Dirk lifted his head nodding as he grabbed his jacket bolting out the door fingering the place on his jacket where the boy's grammar school's logo would have been without looking back at the pair, Todd's shared concern with Farah as he trailed behind.
Chapter Text
A month.
One hell month they'd landed here.
A month since they'd gotten a case having to ship it to England. More specifically bloody Sheffield. Couldn't escape this place if he tried, could he? And he had tried! Something creeping in the back of his mind that this must have something else to do with Blackwing. He couldn't be here for a simple returning of a jewel thing, there was always something more because it could never ever be bloody simple for him, could it?! The fact he kept smiling at some of the areas he'd used to go biking or walking past some of his old friend's houses happened to be something totally different. The other part feeling ill knowing if today was one of the groups pub days and they spotted him. Dirk's face shape hadn't changed that much since uni. His personality had gotten brighter while his voice still held the tiniest bit of the regional accent so there was really no escaping that. He'd just have to act as if he went here on a case or holiday once, not two years or so of schooling. Other than that nothing exactly separated David Posner from Dirk Gently.
Todd had instantly packed up ready to go with him muttering that of course they'd have to go England, of course they had to because what else was this weird in their life so far although brightening at the fact they were getting to take an actual flight on an actual aeroplane instead of a magic channel or whatever . Farah not joining stating she wanted the office's open and ready to help any other people coming through their doors. They'd started to gain a reputation. A good one thankfully. If Farah's assistance could help then they could always ask her to come over but for now she preferred to keep herself in a comforting and familiar place.
Dirk drinking Sheffield in. Breathing in the new. Trying to ignore the old. Todd in his vision watching his every move. He'd heard him and Farah talk about his calmer mood or looking up to see Cutler's on their website to see if it still existed. Didn't spare a notice for where police signs used to be or that the school still seemed to be standing. The warehouse they'd stumbled upon turned out to be a blessing. No hotels would stand for the amount of time they might be for. The fact the warehouse stood near the church where another friend stood waiting for their friend bared nothing to the non psychic. The smiling having to disappear at the sight of Todd's questioning eyes again. Smile stopped.
Todd clearly baffled at how close the houses were built together and at how old some of them were and hang on were those dust mites or something? Why was it so cold? Dirk tried not to snigger. Todd and not having an AC if they were here for that long would be something priceless he was sure.
They'd settled within a few days but now Todd missed home. He missed Farah, he missed his apartment and he missed their office's. More than that he missed how Dirk behaved in America. Not that he was completely different here but there was something going on he'd noticed. Even before they'd landed, nay left America the detective had started to waver from his persona that Todd knew so well. With the people he cared about, he recognised when something was off. Something Dirk wasn't telling him. Evasive. First case jitters again. Kept looking at things as if he knew them, people waving at him as if they knew who he was. Smiling before noting Todd then turning away turning it off. A calmer version who apparently swore more and kept dragging the pair to bookshops and coffee shops, recommending different books and quoting before looking like he shouldn't be doing those things and reverting back to quiet every time his friend asked where he knew all this from. He didn't believe Dirk actually had a calm version. The assistant wished he knew why.
“Todd, I feel like maybe we've been doing this completely wrong. I think maybe we should go to the local pub this evening”
“The...pub? I mean I could do with a drink actually, it feels like this has been going nowhere. Wait....are we actually going to go in or is this just something else?”
“I don't know. Just a -”
“- Just a hunch. I got it. If that's the case then can you mind if I call 'Manda real quick? She wants to know about what we've been getting up too. Not that there's been anything for a fucking month and a half”
“Of course not, and it's only been a month Todd. You know this. You are so prone ton exaggeration. Honestly! Oh! Tell her I say hello!”
“I'm all set. So you ready to go?”
“Yes Todd, quite ready. No need for the map. We can just wonder round and I'm sure we'll stumble upon the location” Praying Todd wouldn't pick up on the fact he knew the route once more. As they walked on Dirk's thoughts found him to be reflecting on different memories. Like for this street corner that they used to see Mrs Lintott watch her Cutler boys from on their days off with her shopping bag and a wave, all the boys cheering her as they either asked if she needed help or let them walk off in their own direction with a cheerful quote. Totty had always been so welcoming. Dirk had all too often wondered what history was. He missed her.
It only took about ten minutes for them to reach their destination, Todd dazzled at how quickly they'd gotten there. Dirk stopping in the middle of the road as he stared at some of the figures exit out of it. They looked faintly familiar. Too familiar really. Maybe he needed another close visual to completely identify. He stood there until they came into full focus. Names coming to faces then blurring all too quickly together. Throwing him off kilter ignoring Todd's words asking what was up.
Dirk needed to move now.
However the men seemed to also stare back. They seemed to start recognising him. Clearly very happy about that fact too.Not good, not good! Incredibly very not good! Todd taking a step back.
Then something useful happened. He might have hated the universe more than not but at least this time it came in handy to well, run away from this rather awkward moment. Another hunch. He took off like a shot forgetting the group of lads and followed the universe's nagging. Todd had to follow him down the third alleyway he noticed a few minutes ago picking up a strange coin at the start of it. Just lying there on the street. Hmm...important Dirk thought handing it over for Todd to put in a spare pocket. They could ignore the pub for now, this seemed a tad more urgent than first guess. They could go to the pub after they'd sorted this out. Oblivious to a group of people trailing behind stunned. Faces vaguely hurt yet intrigued.
“Okay so what are we looking for Dirk? Tell me. There's a reason we have the coin, tell me I have not been carrying this for no reason!”
“I think there might a be a soul within it but to break them free, we have to find maybe something that will unlock it first! Then we can give the coin back to our client all normal and not destroying their furniture. Souls can be tricky business. One never knows when they'll crack”
“How are you more melancholic than in America. How is that even possible? What is happening? Honestly you've been concerning me for more than a week. You never have to tell me anything you don't want to but is everything okay? Okay, you don't want to tell me. That's fine. Hang on, this coin, Dirk how about this? Maybe the thing would be like a coin or plug socket?!” The realisation hit Todd in a wave as he started to scan the wall for one. Right in the middle of the wall and of the brick he found it. He pulled the coin out of his pocket slotting it in as the brick opened before twirling it round and releasing two more greeny purple light beams appearing to be portals. The soul entered out of the coin after all this showing some form of gnome person waving to Dirk and Todd and then stepping into the other portal all of them closing instantly, both of the boys high fiving each other. Dirk now putting the coin through a different slot hopefully sending it back to the person it belonged to. Magical travel happened to be very capable. Dirk then getting an unsettling urge he was being watched ready to turn round.
“Another hunch? Already?..Dirk what? Whoa, Dirk? Dirk?”
Dirk couldn't move. Stuck to the ground. Eyes not wondering any further than what he had started to look toward. Todd standing in front prepared to attack whatever it might be.
He just didn't anticipate the attack being seven boys.
Chapter 10
Notes:
I've ended up doing/planing a few rewrites to this story seeing as I wasn't completely happy with it so updates may end up being a little bit slower than I first thought so sorryyyyy in advance <3. Either way thank you very much for all your kind comments and kudos, they make this one writer a very happy bean! Hope this chapter is as fun as it was to write!
Chapter Text
The pub seemed quieter than usual. That was weird. Usually there was a lot more people in there and music blaring as people yelled for their orders over another person. People bent over pool tables to watching football on the TV and others cheering or yelling at the ref. A brawl or something happening as someone then told them to take it outside. A proper Friday evening yet tonight it was only them a and a couple of other proper dedicated patrons. The seven boys crowded round their Friday night table (they hadn't had to fend anyone else like the past few weeks, a fact they'd been petrified and significantly satisfied with) drinking their beers while play fighting as they caught up on each of their weeks. Their university life had taken some of their time from each other as they moved forward with new lives, new relationships and new friends. They didn't have time for meetings only a few texts with plans that mostly fell through. Then a few years on from none of them seeing each other for two years, Dakin himself - the absolute prat as Scripps kept calling him when he kept phoning him until he answered seeing as they'd been the most in contact since or rather the devil on his shoulder he couldn't flick off much to Donald's bemusement - had called them all up inviting them all to come to the old pub in their home town and not taken any no's for an answer.
A routine they'd been settling into easily since then with allowances for family emergencies only. The group shoving Dakin as he'd said that. So here they were on Friday evening with drinks in their hands, eyes almost closing as they winded down from their busy work lives only rising as they traded worried glances as the journalist of the group kept grasping for what they thought wasn't there anymore.
“Have you seriously never thought about it then? Never?! It's not impossible! I know it's not! ” Scripps stated as he threw his arms up in the air almost whacking Anthony in the face, who whacked him back in the process as he gulped down some more of his beer
“No, I can hand on heart say that I never ever have had psychic or fortune telling nonsense in my life. It was just pure luck that Jade and I were in the right place at the right time. It's nice you believe there's something out there that controls the fates but it's not logical really is it? Fate doesn't just happen, the universe doesn't work like that. People control what they do and where they go. Besides we know you're only saying this to get us to talk about you know who!” Akthar glared at the boy as he downed the rest of his pitifully empty pint before his eyes softened nudging Peter to place a hand on his arm as he was closer. For a logical chap, Don could be the most fanciful of the lot.
“He's got to be somewhere! A person like that does not disappear off the face of the earth. People choose where they go and so does the universe! The universe is a...a...a helping hand. There's never one option or the other! Don't tell me you don't feel the same any of you! Or that you're still worried about where or how he is! You can't say that something has been missing since then, you can't! I'm not to going to be the last of us to just forget or ignore him. He was part of our group and damn him all to hell, he still is! Rudge, I'm not going round the twist, you don't have to put your hand on me arm!”
“Don, maybe we should start using our inside voice? Just because he left a weirdly phrased letter does not mean we should start canvassing the area like we're MI5. For all intents and purpose's he's fine but like us a couple years ago dropped off the grid and we have no contact. We feel it too, but we can't stop our lives to worry about him. You'd have to be vaguely stupid to not see that” Dakin had become used to soothing Don when things became just a little too much.
“Maybe he just became another part of history”
“Oh piss off Peter bloody Rudge, we're trying to help not depress him further! Honestly your middle name should be changed to unhelpful”
“Stuart's right. It's rare I say that so you can be amazed at how much I believe him. Maybe we should say that it's not hard to choose conclusions when it comes to the fates and signs. Maybe it happens, maybe it doesn't. Don't you remember? 'once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen'
"Thought you weren't a big fan of Emmerson?" Timms cut in grabbing the boys other glass and downing it for him instead as the others kept up their habit of looking round the room when things got a little too uncomfortable even for their liking.
"Am I making a point here or am I just a voice you're choosing to ignore? What I'm trying to say is either make a decision now or later but know it'll be helped in some way or other.We can argue for the rest of the night about how big a part the universe plays on other people but it doesn't change the hardcore facts. Pos would have found us if he wanted us by now or he has indeed just lost contact and is somehow trying to find us in his own tragically unique way. We know you two were closer than all of us combined. We all miss him, always will and it hurts. Especially for those of us who never actually got a proper goodbye. But unless something sensational happens within the next year, I think maybe we should, I don't know, move on? For good this time? It has been a while since, we shouldn't be living our lives through someone missing Don! Come on now. Anyways - '”
Lockwood never got to finish his sentence as a woman in a baby blue jumpsuit with some form of black orange logo on it entered growling as she walked up to their table speaking with a weird American accent. The pub now quiet in entirety. They watched as she approached one of their old English teachers, grabbed something from behind the bar and instantly stabbed them. The boys getting up to go run out of the place and preparing to dial 999, when the woman stood in front of them. All seven cautiously deciphering if they could get safely to an exit.
“Listen, I know what you just saw must have been scary for you but I'd rather you not do anything, I already got the cops on my tail, I don't need no more. Alright? I don't know if the universe don't want me to kill none of you or all of you. At least I don't think it wants me to kill you. So you better go before the universe says that I then gotta kill ya and it turns into a whole killing...thing”
“Sorry, you want us to move otherwise you think the universe wants you to murder us even though you just murdered two other people?” Dakin sniped.
“Yeah? Why?”
Seeing the opportunity to actually get out alive, Crowther took it.
“Alright lads let's go then before this lovely murderous lady actually gets more murdery somehow”
“Thanks, I mean it. Don't come back” Came the gravelly voice once more as she grinned turning round grabbing one of their empty glasses and smashing it into one of the bartender's faces.
“Bloody hell! Get out quick!"
“That weren't me, that was insane” Rudge crossed his arms as he walked further away from the entrance.
“She's insane! That was something else! Hey lads, were we the only ones out here? Only asking because well remember what we were just saying about...well he's over there! I swear I'm not going barmy! Look!”
On command, they spun round from each other to the figure looking exactly the spitting image of their old classmate looking quite grown up in a very colourful jacket. The former staring back like a frightened animal. Both groups now staring at each other in bewilderment. All of this as another person came into the picture following behind him. Then the pair just took off! The man most definitely being identified correctly as Posner had stared, realised who they were and taken off! That left the lot of them fairly in lower spirits, all the while wondering what he was up to and him being actually there leading them to wanting answers. Proper ones.
“I don't know about you but that was certainly unexpected” Dakin started as the boys watched the space for a few minutes until they nodded in agreement as they took off after them.
There was no denying it, the man who had stared at them was David Posner. The frame, the voice and the huffs of laughter. It had to be David. Surer than they'd ever been. Walking ghosts of people did not exist. This was David in the flesh.
Only Posner appeared to have gone fully off the deep end as he and this other man started to start touching up the walls trying to find something. Both of them grinning as one of the bricks opened glowing and something else leaving into a different brick thing.
This was something explainable for sure.
The boys noticed the high five and wild grin that sported David's face. A grin they rarely had ever seen on him. Or at least during that last year of Cutlers to Cambridge.
Another shared look between the boys was enough for them to wait it out. They could be patient. Sometimes.
The waiting paid off as David and the other man went to walk out the alleyway noting them, the smaller one stepping a bit in front as if to protect him with a short wave of confusion. David's eyes bulging, his shoulders dropping as if he had been anticipating this but hadn't really wanted to admit any of it.
“Shit”
Chapter 11
Notes:
I'm still working on sorting out the rewrites but here we are guys! The boys have finally reunited! (It's a blooming miracle)
Chapter Text
“Pos?!”
“David?!”
“DAVID!!!”
"NO FUCKING BLOODY WAY"
"OI! I get first dibs! Pos you absolute berk! GET OVER HERE YOU!"
The boys sprinted towards their old mate hugging him, ruffling his hair and in the case of one Donald Scripps, slapping him on the arm and cursing not losing sight of him fearful that if so much as blinked, the man would disappear. In all honesty the detective had forgotten how truly noisy they could become. Dirk kept trying to shove them off of him - whether as a chance to pretend that he didn't know any of these people or as a sign of affection to not wanting to let them go again and the universe all of a sudden complying to all of Dirk's wishes over the past couple of years head fighting over heart - all of this happening as Todd took a step back to assess the situation and the weirdo's calling him different names and listening to the different accents within the group, worrying instantly.
He didn't like the camaraderie between this blond haired bloke and Dirk. Nor a fan of the way Dirk's eyes had lit up as the boys had circled around him.
“Don't you ever do this to me again. Ever! Leaving like that was either the strangest thing you've done or the dumbest!”
Todd couldn't believe what he was hearing from this guy, no one talked to Dirk like that! Yet Dirk was letting him get away with it so easily, what for?! These guys seemed to almost be circling him like prey even if they were being pretty friendly noting that for now he couldn't actually get a word in edgewise throwing his hands up in the air in frustration wondering if Dirk would respond or deflect.
“I think we can all safely agree it might have been a good mix of the two, I had told you not to come after me for quite good reasons, you know. I didn't exactly plan what I was doing that much or to expect you to find me right now either! I was meant to be just not there anymore. I hadn't wanted to cause anyone any harm. Honest!”
“No harm?! NO HARM?!”
“You know I do like having my hearing intact!?!”
“Do you know how worried I – we've – been? You just taking off like that with just that note? Just because you suddenly decided you were off did not mean we suddenly thought you were a ghost. You have always been in the back of our minds you heathen! You've been nowhere to be seen for years on end with no way of reaching ye! I've been looking all over since! Christ, David! I thought you were dead!”
“I thought you were against taking the Lord's name in vain?” Came the incredibly now meek response hiding the tiniest of smiles at not being forgotten.Or at Don's vocab that needed updating quite badly. Heathen? That should have been left back in Sixth form. Attempting to reach Don to either hug him or pat or find some way to say sorry for what he'd gone through just knowing that nothing would actually be enough. A wave of David Posner came crashing back over him as he huffed crossing his arms and started to sulk. What he hadn't realised was how much he'd ignored Todd throughout this disconcerting discussion.
Then during a lull in the conversation, the outburst happened.
“You know these people? Like actually know them? Not as in a I know their favourite colour sort of thing but as in a I know everyone of these people's secrets because I know them so well they trust you and they've done the same for me sort of thing? Like that sort of knowing?”
The head stayed bowed, so Todd knew he got his answer. Everything started to twist seamlessly together in a rush. Between the evasiveness of Dirk getting the call from that shady character. Since they had set up shop here. The way his eyes had lit up before dimming in some of the shops and the park as they had walked round the city. The church he'd both wanted to walk into the entrance of while simultaneously almost bursting into tears as he traced the brickwork. The waving passer by's. The bookkeeper and his kids who'd embraced him pulling out a book or two for him. An old history and poems. The way he brushed most things off to do in the town saying the universe never wanted them there. The name. He'd done it all already. How these people in this group were reacting to him. A different personality starting to shine through, a more relaxed one. God this person had friends. Close friends. The name. Jesus did Todd even know the real Dirk at all? How did he even have time to meet these people?
"Todd maybe you should take a breather"
"And what? Go back in time to find out how much else you're hiding?"
"I know you don't mean that. All I'm saying is the Rowdies are no-where near us and you just said that you're almost out of tablets. You know I don't want to waste them and this would be a waste of them. Could you maybe shut up and just please listen!"
No Todd definitely didn't know Dirk. Acting all weird and shouty and whatever. But he hated the fact his friend was right. His attacks did worsen under some pressures like this. Yeah they snuck up on him but this would bring it on and he was not going to bring it on. No. No way. Not when all of this was unfolding in front of him. He forced himself to calm down.
"So you really know these people that well? In the way that I said"
“I...maybe Todd?”
“Maybe? Cheers mate! Not like we spent some of the most important times in our lives with you!”
“Jimmy, I...oh! Where have you all come from anyways? Something's beginning to tell me it might be important and I think we should definitely start heading that way. I'm not trying to get out of this but I seriously think we should be walking to where-ever you've come form so let's do that!”
“Pub”
“Excellent. Which one?”
“What? We came from the pub. You know how Sheffield is. Not like you to forget any of these places. For all it's faults and flaws it hasn't actually changed that much. Seeing as you've most likely been here long enough, you should remember the way. Or did you suddenly forget after your breakdown?”
“Breakdown, Dirk what breakdown?” Todd focused on the end rather than the overall tone of these people.
“Not important Todd”
Todd had just been about to step in for his friend dazed at the speed of which the blond haired one did it for him instead. If the detective didn't look so happy every time he spoke, he would have tossed him out the first window he saw.
“Stop being such a bell end Stu. Clearly you can take Dakin out of Sheffield but apparently you can't take the Sheffield out of Dakin. More's the overall pity. We came from the pub round the corner. Bit odd though. This woman came up to us, said the universe wanted her to murder some of the people in there, told us to get out and not come back so we bolted it. Think she might have been not all there. David, while I'm incredibly pissed off at you, you've actually gone a bit pale. Paler than you ever have. You alright?”
“No, I mean yes! Don, you are still as brilliant as ever! Todd, we really do have to go back to the pub!”
“Yeah I kinda guessed that, you jackass. Let's go, I guess you all want to come with us because I am not putting up with being followed. I get that enough already. If it's anymore than half an hour though, I swear my actions will be justified!”
The pub littered with glass shards and broken stools lay across the floor, there was blood staining some of the walls and on the woman's shirt. The woman tossed her hammer back behind the bar. Dirk taking a step back.
“What in the bloody hell's happened here, I swear we only left for ten! This looks like a disaster area if a disaster area had another disaster” Chris couldn't believe the carnage.
"I think we can safely say goodbye to our beer evenings!
"Don't you think there's more things at stake here? Or have you not noticed the state of things?!" Akthar yelled over the top of Timm's moaning.
“Hi Dirk!”
“Hello again...Bart”
“I'm sorry, you know a murderer? Do you know she is one by the way? Or would you like to take a look at the floors? This is stupid even for you Pos” Akthar folded his arms attempting to copy his mother's glare. Dirk glaring at the others who pretended not to have done anything as he turned back to talk to Bart knowing the universe needed this interaction for whatever reason as Todd kept trying to ignore how readily Dirk had accepted these people back into his life, and at how easily they all fell back into step. However this was the second time someone in this group had told his friend off, and if they kept up he knew he'd have to talk to them.
“I told these people not to come back, so I'm guessing these people yours?” Bart sensed something, took out a gun from somewhere and shot the man about to shoot her without looking smiling as she heard the sickening crunch of a body hitting the counter to the floor turning back to continue the conversation.
“Yes, these are people I knew from A-Levels”
“Oh what are those, is that some form of torture or something?”
“It's definitely a type of torture, I assure you”
“That, haha, that sounds kinda cool you know. For a weirdo”
“Yes well, thank you I suppose. Bart, what exactly and please describe in as much detail as possible, are you doing here? I thought you decided to stay in America. You know where it's safer?”
“Oh! I was busy taking care of business”
“We can see that!”
“Ignore Dakin. I know it's terribly difficult but one must do what one must I suppose. What were the people doing that invoked the universe to put you in England?”
“Universe is back to protecting me, don't gotta hide. Just gotta do what I gotta do again. The one I just shot looked at you kinda funny like. They just like popped up on the TV police report thing, so I started walking. Now I'm here. The small people in the TV said they ran illegal rings or something so I stole this guy's ring! I might give it to Panto!”
“That's because...because they used to be my English teacher. Not a very good one though, you should have seen his notes on my essays about Poe which means they must have been the ones to place the soul in the coin and planned to do more until well we arrived if my hunches are correct... Hmm”
“Well whatever, this is boring me and I gotta get. More places to go, people to kill, I'll see you Dirk”
“Yes quite. Safe travels I suppose”
“Well that was fairly normal for Bart, you think she's going to get back okay? And not that I am ever going to force you to talk about whatever happened to you Dirk but A-Levels, I've heard about them, it's an exam board isn't it? I've been putting it all together in my head and most things fit easily but this doesn't. You these men from going to school? How did you even go to school when you were with well, you know? And I thought...I thought we were past lying to each other”
“I know these boys from sixth form yes. I have not been lying! I...okay maybe I have. But only because this time my intentions had nothing to do with anyone except me and I didn't even know you then! Quite frankly if you'd known me back then I assure you, you would have understood. This lot kept me from falling when I thought it wasn't possible to fall further"
"Yeah. And then you did Pos. Didn't you?" Rudge's monotone cutting through to the core of Dirk's heart. He had to somehow rescue this trying to forget they were still in a pub with bodies on the ground.
"It had been a difficult year or so. As you well know. There were things tumbling out of control, people out of control and the universe had been cloying at me to get a shuffle on but I also...faltered. So....I estranged myself for a while if you must have a proper answer for how I know them Todd. They weren't above blackmail, in fact that was how I had landed here in the first place really and we'd witnessed a few bad things during our schooling let's say. I'd been going through some things as well. I just wasn't going to bring them all into this and I'd rather not have these two lives crossing but the universe rarely takes into account what I want and now it apparently wants us all to collide! Which I am subsequently ready and not ready for! Not that I'm not exactly complaining because I have missed you all, I'm thrilled I've been allowed to meet with you all again but I'm also just not happy about it because of course it would have to happen on a case! I escaped to give you all a better chance so you were never fodder! Or it was because of me you were that. Or for you to have the opportunity to understand who I became. The universe just can't leave well enough alone! As if I haven't suffered enough. Are you...mad at me?”
“No I'm not that. I'm something but I'm not that. More confused I guess. You're giving me information overload here. I know you said it's not part of Blackwing and you wanted to protect them but did this come after or?”
“I just told you. Don't you think you should be ringing Farah? It's coming up to our usual check in time”
“Fine. Fine. You're not getting away with not talking to me this time. Okay?”
He made sure he got a proper nod before bringing his phone out dialling his friend's number walking away from the group that now steadily got louder. He prayed that Dirk could get through it. They seemed concerned about him but also angry. Weirdly angry.
“Hey Farah, yeah just checking in. God, you are not going to believe what bullshit Dirk has gotten us into this time”
The minute Todd left, the cacophony happened.
The second minute, the questions kept hurtling back and forth with no answers. Why was his name different, why was he acting different, what happened to his accent? Who were Todd and Farah? How were you so calm with Bart who by the way just killed a bunch of people? What was Blackwing? Why did they need protecting? Why had he never got back to them? Did he know how much they missed him? Why did he run? Did he know what havoc he caused by doing all that? Was he aware that Scripps constantly berated himself for not looking after him, not finding him quicker?
The third minute, he found it hard to breathe. There were far too many questions happening. Questions that needed answers. Couldn't focus on their voices first, their faces next all of it blurring together again. Breathing heavier. He couldn't answer about Blackwing either, that went too far and he knew they missed him. He up and left without anything besides a note, of course they'd be worried, stupid Dirk! Always thinking of himself and not his first ever friends! Of course the universe would throw them all in each other's way again as if to make up for him being so catastrophically naïve that he could just leave his past behind him. Leave these boys behind him. Be able to walk away from his mistakes. From these boys, always getting them into trouble! Be away from anything that tethered his connection to Blackwing. Stupid, stupid, stupid Dirk!
The boys stopped their questions in their tracks just standing there not knowing how to help. Not even Scripps who Posner had told him he thought he was on the verge of breaking down and he should figure out how to help if he had another panic attack that or nightmare. In the panic of all this he just stood there with his boys worrying about making it worse if he did go into the fray.
Dirk sank to the floor holding his arms round his chest now taking ragged breaths, chest feeling tight.
He only just registered a voice calmly if a bit shakily telling him to follow his breathing bringing him back to the ground and himself.
“That's it Dirk. You got it. Keep following my breathing, you're doing great. You're just with me, nothing else. Keep on breathing. You're totally safe here. Awesome. In....out...You with me?"
Dirk after five minutes or so had come back into his own gently hugging his assis-friend knowing from past experience it helped a little while muttering a thank you. Still shaking a little but on stable ground. It hadn't felt as harrowing as his last one but near for sure. In either case he'd been about to apologise to his school mates when Todd told him not to. Instead he shuffled a little closer into the American's space.
“Farah's got everything covered back home. Okay you know what, I think this place might not be helping. At all. So do you think you can move? I do know you. So I won't ask until we're back in the warehouse. I think we need all the answers we can get so you'll need to actually give me the truth. I know you don't want to tell. But you might have to. This seems like you actually had a good reason for keeping this and I'll.....I guess I'll try and be as open as possible seeing as these are actually your friends and not nut-jobs. None of this, any of this is pre-destined. They're probably not going to run at the first sign of trouble seeing as they're for some reason for whoever they're thinking who you are still here, or that Blackwing will just suddenly appear to whisk you out of here. Ready?”
Todd held out a hand which Dirk took to help himself up as his friend leaned back into him not ready to peer into his sixth form friends eyes both embarrassed and terrified to see what they just watched not knowing they couldn't look either.
“If you guys could follow us then that'd be great. I can't believe this is my life. Honestly one day I'd just like one case where I'm not running from dimension to dimension or entering weird mazes or meeting my friend's estranged weird ass English friends”
Dirk let out a light laugh as they made their way out of the pub again not sparing a glance backwards. Posner may have had a flair for the dramatic but Todd took more than the cake sometimes. He tuned in to hear if the group were actually following him letting out a breather hearing them. The Oxford and Cambridge boys slightly unnerved at seeing someone who was once so put together be so torn apart.
Chapter 12
Notes:
Thank you for being so patient and understanding while I keep working and reworking on things, you are all wonderful <3. Xx
Chapter Text
They passed Scripps's church and the playground that they all used to hang around in until they hit a fairly decrepit building which they were all led in to by Todd – not quite willingly but still managing a polite sort of air at this point - which all seven assumed must have been the warehouse. It looked much better on the inside. More lived in, more lightly coloured. More stable. They didn't know how they managed to make it that way but counted their blessings that at least their friend had somewhere to stay and wasn't loitering around anywhere on the streets.
“You might as well get comfortable. You could be here for a while depending on whatever. Take the couch or a chair or sit on the floor, I don't really care. Dirk you good?”
“I believe so but the - “
Dirk had just been about to try seeing if he could get the boys attention on something else and maybe leave somehow despite his words earlier when another person bolted in narrowly missing the door being shut in their face clearly looking for someone when spotting Dirk all of a sudden turning to relieved and weirdly happy. Overly happy. There was something about it that was more than a little bit unnerving.
“I'm searching for someone called Dirk Gently?!
“Look no further”
Are you Mr Gently then? The detective Dirk Gently?”
“Yes I am”
“I....can I speak in here, is it all okay? Nothing's been set up here, there's no wires or anything?”
“Yes, you can. There are no bugs in here. We're fully off grid and everyone in this place I trust implicitly”
“It's to do with Cutlers”
“It's okay, these boys were all once at the school and I trust them. I trust this lot implicitly. It's all okay. Nothing bad is here”
“You were as well, weren't you?”
“Yes, I was. Only for a few years however. I'm remarkably surprised you know that. Not many people are privy to that information”
“Call it an insider's knowledge. You being here all of a sudden is kind of perfect actually. I've been trying to track you down for longer than you think. Just because they tried to stop my movements, does not mean they stopped me”
“How is that perfect if I may ask?”
“I knew one day, you would slip up. What ever are we going to do with you?”
A button was pressed and all of a sudden much to the shock of the boys, and the angrier face of Todd, the boy dissipated and in it's place stood a much older man. Dirk kept his posture as straight as he could while keeping his face as neutral as possible. He knew it wasn't working. This person could always see into his soul, promise everything and still manage to cock it all up. Dirk never wanted the boys to be caught up in all this. He should have told them to leave quicker. He could have prevented whatever was going to come out of this man's voice next.
“Hello again Icarus”
“Colonel”
Chapter 13
Notes:
Hope everyone has a good Children In Need night whatever you're doing :). Loved watching Team Rickshaw this week!
Chapter Text
“I'm only going to say this once to your face colonel but let me make it perfectly clear, you are not wanted here or in any other hemisphere I am in!”
“Personally I thought we'd gotten rid of you. Heard through the who cares to know vine that you'd been taken off active duty” Todd taunted from where he was standing acknowledging the fact that none of the others had even begun to help their distressed friend. Something which he wasn't happy to see. They looked like they talked a good game but weren't willing to follow up on it.
Right then Dirk himself seemed to become bolder and as Todd spoke and glancing at all the other boys -friends - in the room., his voice became stronger, less frightened. He'd faced Sheffield. He could face at least one more conversation with this man. He'd be gone soon enough.
“Todd is right. Leave”
“I thought I taught you more manners than that Icarus”
“You know my name Colonel. What happened that you decided to forget it?”
“Ah. It was much easier to track you as Icarus. A bolder claim on my part. Very well, if you are still willing to be called Dirk and it will help you listen, I will comply”
“Why would he calling you that anyway Pos? Seems rather odd to compare someone to Greek mythology. You always seemed to have a fairly stable grip on the world. Bar Year 13” Scripps mused feeling on edge waiting the situation out all while trying to fit the pieces together in his head, his journalist brain inside him going like clockwork. Grimacing when Todd swivelled instantly towards him.
“Oh now you wanna pipe up? Where were you two seconds ago?”
Rudge snorted at the brashness and change of character as the rest of his former classmates rushed to Scripps's defence. None of them realising that Dirk seemed to not know where to turn or who to address first with a glare up at the people who'd made this his life as Riggins took full pleasure in the chaos erupting in the room knowing that the next minute he spoke, he would have the full attention of his former Blackwing student.
“I am not a part of Blackwing any more. Wilson did fire me. She sent me somewhere else for a while. And I saw the real horrors of what would happen if the people who had escaped from there were re-found by someone less understanding. Blackwing needs people there to keep them safe or they'll get sent somewhere even worse. I don't want that to happen to any of you. The cost is far too high. We can't resist any of you getting even more hurt. I need to bring them back. Back in their rightful places”
“Yeah this doesn't sound like a cunning plan to get you back at the top at all Colonel”
“See to me it sounds like utter bullshit, so I wouldn't listen. But then I wouldn't listen to anything you had to say either seeing as I think you are utter garbage in any case”
“In case you hadn't been willing to notice, there are more than just the three of you in this spacious warehouse and they haven't got a clue as to what you're on all about or why you both are so hell bent on on sending this being out the room. Maybe you could make us a willing participant in this conversation? Or did your parents not raise you with any manners? Especially as one of you is so intent on proving you have any. Jesus actual Christ”
That brought the three of them out of it. Dirk more than anyone somehow still having enough of David in him to form a quick retort back. Or maybe it was the fact that David or not, he had been so ingrained into this group, that this back and forth was normal for them. Maybe he never really ditched 'David'. The thing he'd been wrestling with since forever ago. It infuriated and calmed him.
“This? Manners? Coming from you Dakin?”
“I'm just saying what seven other people in this room are thinking”
Dakin clearly seemed to be rubbing Riggins up the wrong way - as so often those in his space did - but the former Blackwing personnel knew that if this black haired back chatter was at the school he had sent Dirk to, and hadn't left the friendship at this point just meant he was more attached to Project Icarus. Which was definitely going to help serve his purpose. That meant the same for all the other men here who he could tell were also on their ground just a lot more subtlety than the American. If he could figure out a way to get the detective into coming with him on information of each one of these seven people standing on guard, things would be over all so easily. Dirk would be safer away from all the things he was always running towards, Dirk could be safe in the knowledge that all of his friends were safe, and he'd have all his ranks and status back.
“You seem to have the wrong impression of what you're being given although it is understandable. I am here because I truly have failed one too many times and to certain people. Blackwing needs Dirk back. Nothing bad has to happen to your friends here Dirk. You wouldn't be putting them at more risk than you already are”
At this Dirk's eyes turned even colder than before. He should have known he'd have used the boys as a fail safe. He should have known that it had the potential to work. He'd seen Riggins take out something and scan each of his friends while they'd been bickering as they asked what Blackwing was for the umpteenth time. For now he chose the hard path. He chose to rely on his former persona once more. The persona that had brought him better memories than he'd ever had before. He pretended this was a classroom and his teachers had asked him why he was even bothering with A-Levels if he happened to think he knew everything already, and if he could stop being so condescending for five minutes. His mantra about having survived Sheffield on a reel.
“I never told them. I never had reason to. Therefore most of your statements happen to be incomplete and inaccurate. These boys remain blissfully ignorant on some important factors of my life. I haven't witnessed them in any situation since years ago. They only found out because of an ending to a case, and your subsequent appearance. I don't think you know exactly what you're getting out of this conversation”
“Acting smart and tough isn't going to get them out of trouble Dirk. Acting like someone else has never been helpful, you know that. You've never been good for lying. The tests and chairs proved that”
Shit. Take two then.
“Well then, before you go, you can answer me one question?. No run's arounds. What have you been scanning? Don't think I haven't noticed; trying to hide it by sliding it up your sleeves like tissues isn't exactly subtle. I think you'll find I'm fairly observant when the time calls for it”
“I scanned all of your friends lives past to present to future. Very handy this device. All Blackwing made. Tried and tested. 100% success rate. So interesting to see what happened to each of them on that old bike. And the accident that came along later”
Everyone's faces except Todd's went a sickly colour.
“Told you it was a useful device. No run around's. Prepared to hear me out further?”
Knowing he held the room and his own future in the palm of his hand, he ramped it up further. Best of all he could be the one who got to watch over Dirk, and make sure nothing else went awry. Like another escape attempt. Priest had been looking for him still. He needed to be the one to find Dirk first. The scared man had always responded better to guilt than violence.
“It was nice to see that you managed to make friends Dirk. Even though we specified otherwise, and I'm proud of you. A successful experiment. Here's my proposition then. You help me and I help you. I want to be back at Blackwing helping. You want to see your friends live out their lives happily and I'm sure we could find cases for you to solve. It may not work like that but the only way is by trying. You come back to Blackwing unhurt and willingly, your friends live happily ever after and I won't have to do what I'm planning to”
“Oh yeah, what's that then?” Came the unwavering voice of Chris. He even pretended to yawn clearly bored wanting him out the place to help get rid of his friend's obvious distress.
“Leave them alone. They have no part in this” Desperation just like in the Patrick Spring case rose like bile to the throat.
“I bring you all back. You all go to Blackwing. We hook you up to a machine, show you what life is like if Project Icarus remains in your lives. We'll do a lot more than just a machine. Most of all we'll see how you cope knowing you had the power to stop it but didn't. All that trouble you went to to keep them from this life, to keep them from you and everything you really are. Bad things happen to us outside of Blackwing, you know that Dirk! I tried to help you, and I still am, why can't you see that? Surely you know they'd have been hurt anyway. I know you, you don't mean to hurt people. It just happens. Following the universe must be taking a toll on you. You don't want them to come with us, and hurt them more. If you really value these boys, you won't need to make a second choice”
“How have you managed to become even more of an asshole than Dirk told me you were? I've had enough of you. Either you leave right now or I chuck you out”
“I'm going. You have two days Dirk. Really think about what I said. Two. Days”
Chapter 14
Notes:
There's a lot of line breaks here. And very Lockwood heavy I just noticed! I was really excited to write this chapter actually and hopefully it turned out okay!
Chapter Text
“Well he seemed of the fun variety” Akthar remarked.
“Trust me, he's not. Before you even think about it Dirk, we're not letting you go back there no matter what he says. At least I'm not. I don't care if we have to bring in reinforcements, this is not happening, he's trying to guilt you into going back because he knows he's going to get you where it hurts and he'd have had nothing on you or these guys if he didn't have that device on him. Believe that we're going to get through this? Just like Patrick Spring. Just like Wendimoor. Better as a team, not apart. Okay?”
“I wasn't even thinking of it Todd. It's a little more than early for one of your supposed pep talks” Dirk was definitely thinking about it because this was Blackwing. This was Blackwing. He couldn't let anyone go into his worst nightmare, least of all this lot, his family, not these boys. Not what he tried to prevent happening in the first bloody place (never mind the directionless circle he'd been at St. Cedd's) choosing to avoid the situation – and any thoughts of Hector and Irwin out of his head – by going to grab quite possibly un-needed but maybe needed drinks.
“Oh can I come with at all?”
“Best I go on my own actually but I appreciate the thought Don. It's... good of you to ask”
“Actually I'd rather you go with someone Dirk. We don't know what Riggins has planned and that could include any and all pop up and grab you plans even if he says he isn't. I don't trust that guy”
“Fine. If you must insist upon it. Adil can we go already?”
“Um....sure mate. Just let me make sure I have my phone”
“Back in ten Todd, I'll see if they can find any coffee's that'll suit your emo punk vibe. You know I can't believe the shop on that corner is still standing, I think that's where I brought most of those jumpers. Back in a while chaps”
“I wouldn't worry too much Don”
“I would! I am! Pos never turns down my offerings to go to town with him. Why would he now?”
“Oh calm down. Honestly Donald. I think Pos just wants a bit of quiet and time away from questions, or any other matter of fact quotations. Let's be honest here, you're not exactly the man for that job are you?” Stuart tried calming down his friend as much as possible knowing how deeply he was hurt. It happened to be rare Posner didn't go somewhere with Scripps and now even he was willing to admit a certain worry inside. Especially seeing as Don rarely kicked up fusses such as this, his lax attitude usually winning out.
“Why not take Peter then?”
“Because I wouldn't be bothered either way. Pos knows if he wants to talk to me, I'm here however I'm not going to march up to him for a friendly chat. He can do that in his own time”
“You're not convincing me, y'know? I just wish he knew he could talk to me and no matter how I say it to his face, he just won't listen. I think he's worried I will actually kill him if he tries to pull that stunt again. What do you think would help? Mark or Luke? ”
“Oh Christ on the masses of bikes, you haven't? You brought your mini bible with you?” Stuart exclaimed. It was bad enough his teen years had been filled with this. Still it was nice to know some things never really changed.
“So I have”
“I don't even want to know where you've been keeping that. I would say you need Jesus -”
“Here lads, maybe we could move this a bit further out. Give the man here some breathing room. Be over there if you need us Todd. What? Believe it or not I did actually learn your name even if it was spouted fifty times over. Someone has to out of this bunch”
Chris winked then cut them off before shuffling most of them to the end of the warehouse where Scripps grumpily started reading as they left Timms for once to talk to Todd. A dazed Todd. All of which he felt was a stroke of genius on his part.
“So are we allowed to even ask what's going on since we're the ones that have had the go around for the past few days? Don't want to raise any alarms by the way but if I'm going to look my beautiful self, I need a shower”
“Let's not let any of you get taken to Blackwing first. I think that's a lot more important since I don't want anyone going there. Including you lot. As for showers, go to a hotel. Ugh, listen to me I'm sounding like my parents. Whatever. What we need is a plan, any of you got any ideas?”
“Seeing you're so overly keen on us, why don't you start and we'll follow like good little sheeple. Don't think we can't see your thoughts mate. You want rid of us. Mainly because you think that we couldn't stand up for someone who can clearly stand up for himself. At least when he gives it a good go” Came the bite of Lockwood having found a chair from somewhere moving it back towards Todd and leaning fully back on it with a casual grin. Even if he had given Pos a hard time back at school, he hadn't meant it. That much. The man hadn't taken the biggest shine to the American from the start especially after he started insulting his friends who were more like brothers to him.
“I wasn't saying Dirk can't stand up for himself, I was just”
“What then? Implying what? C'mon then. Let's hear it. For Queen and country!”
“I...this is impossible! Completely impossible! You never want to listen and I've had to be the one to look out for someone you claim is your friend and you act like you aren't even his friends! All you ever do is run rings around each other or quote things! Dirk has acted like more of a friend to you for God knows why. So I'm done with all of you! You can get Dirk into trouble but know that I'm going to be the one to get him out of it”
“Oh leave me alone! I'm quite alright! Stop your fussing!”
“I don't know if you remember Pos but didn't someone once say that a real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. In case you hadn't forgotten, this Riggins is after our heads as well as yours. I'd rather have my own say than someone else making it for me. We were always good apart but stronger together”
“I'm hurt you'd use Walter Winchell's words against me Adil”
“I do what I have to, to keep you sane”
Dirk huffed a laugh. Truthfully his mind had been replaying the conversation earlier and had come to the only conclusion he could think of. He wasn't going to reveal it to them, they'd find out soon enough but for now he was just going to let them carry on as they were. No reason as to why he shouldn't soak in the final day or so with his here and there again friends.
“Ehem”
Todd looked up to see who had followed him to the back of the room. Looking up he scowled. At least there had been half an hour of peace.
“I have a feeling you're not going to like most of what I have to say. But you're just going to have to shut your trap and get over it”
“That really makes me want to listen to you”
“Oh don't be an arse! We have enough of those to last us two generations and one of them is in the corner badgering someone for a comb!”
In the grand scheme of things, he could either listen to this Jimmy person or ball up another piece of paper with rubbish plans on them, he chose the lesser of the two evils. If he heard him out anyway, he could leave quicker. A lot of arguments with Amanda had proven that each time.
“Fine. What do you wanna tell me exactly?”
“We're not the enemy you seem to think we are”
“Oh yeah? Prove it. Help me with this?”
“As if! Last time someone had a plan for me, I ended up studying History for too many years. What I'm going to tell you stays between us. I may not be the closest to the lad but he's still a part of me. Pos is our family and you're going to have to accept that. Maybe not right now seeing as you're so incredibly pissed at us and the situation but soon. I wouldn't be over here if Scripps isn't so busy glancing at his bible trying to gleam inspiration for whatever reason. Don't dismiss us just because you don't know us. We know he fled Cambridge because of something other than prison. I'm not over here to ask what he ran from, Donald can do that when he damn well pleases. David can handle his own”
“What if he can't? He gets directionless or questions his own purpose in life or sees something happen to people he cares about that he knows he could have done something about, bad things happen. Blackwing is his worst nightmare. Not to mention putting other people in danger. He runs from it any chance he gets. Literally and figuratively”
“That'll be when we step in. Don more than anyone most likely. David's never been shy about asking for help or for getting things he wants. Chased Stu til he couldn't after all, poor idiot sod”
“Do you mind repeating that again cos I don't think I heard you the first time, he tried to date that guy?! For real?!”
“Don't discredit us. Believe it or not people have different ways of showing how much they care. Just give him a chance to prove he can fight for himself as much as us lot know he can. Maybe throughout this we can find we all get along. Anyway I've said my piece so I'm shoving off now. Just leave a bit of food for thought”
“Wait. Can I ask a question? I saw your reactions. What was this accident or bike thing? Like the minute afterwards you all just switched from not being in the room to just going back to joking around, and I'm just wonder...wondering if you're all...okay?” Sue the English idiots, he was concerned for them. Those comments Riggins had made not only seemed to shock them, but scare them. Like it haunted them. He remembered when he'd told Amanda the truth about himself seeing that same reaction.
Jimmy stopped in his tracks.
“Scarred for life mate”
“I know you're trying to pass this off as a joke but I think you believe that. I once told Dirk that the past doesn't define you. Or what happened to you in that past. You can find a way to move past it, even if you think you can't. Or at least start to make some peace with it. God knows I would know”
“And speaking of our chosen one, there he is back with our drinks. You better have got the vanilla in there for me Pos!”
Todd shook his head as he watched the boys interact and Dirk hand out their drinks to each other as they ruffled his hair or patted his arms in thanks. He let the words sink in. Nor was he happy to discover that most of what the other guy said had made sense. He'd jumped in thinking Dirk had needed rescuing when he had been holding his own fairly okay until the colonel had mentioned taking them all to Blackwing. He knew Dirk could hold his own but let it slip in a moment of weakness. After all they'd known Dirk for a lot longer than he gave them credit for, the shock had settled and they were looking out for him by making sure he wasn't left alone for a second. God he hated when he lashed out in anger! Even if he knew his words still held some element of truth towards them. Jimmy was right. He went back to scribbling a plan and ultimately balling it up.
Night had fallen once again and just like all those years ago, Dirk was awake and packing hurriedly. The names he'd made for himself swirling round in his head. The times he'd met each and every one of the people in the room within him coming up to the surface on another.
The former Cutler's boy had thought about it considerably and knew this was the best result was to leave. The boys had gotten along just fine without him for the past few years, and they could do it again, he knew they could although clearly forgetting how thrilled they'd been to find him, and how much they were enjoying being around him again. But there was no reason to sacrifice something that didn't need to exist. Riggins - curse him and dammed Blackwing ethics - had gotten back into his head. He was doubting everything all over again. Just like St Cedd's. Just like Wendimoor. There was nothing left to do other than give up and give in. That was his strong point. Always had been. This way no one had had the ability to get hurt or killed or whatever else might happen! After all he'd done it before, and so long as no-one witnessed his leaving, he could easily get away with it.
He needed paper.
With the paper set in place, and bag slung back over his shoulder he tip toed around the sleeping figures and exited out of the building.
What he hadn't expected to see was a figure leaning against the wall taking in the night sky or looking so torn in two even with his arms crossed. Picture perfect example of contemplation itself. If there was one person he didn't want to see him make his escape, it would be Scrippsy. He wondered for a minute or two whether he could just simply pass without being seen. Seeing there was no hope for it, he tried his best to move ahead.
“Where do you think you're off to?” With a big thanks up to the universe for once, he realised his close friend hadn't seen his bag yet although the relief and thank you's lasted about two minutes as Don came closer, peered down his other side running back through the doors grabbing the letter Dirk had written and ran harder to catch up with his now walking further friend. He had clued it together so easily. When would he stop running and just face the problem? Know they were going to help protect each other as much as possible?! Face the fact that the journalist couldn't go through any of this again?
“You liar! You utter and complete berk! D'ya think I wouldn't find it? Or do you really think me that much a fool?”
“Nice to know you caught up"
"Don't play that game with me David. We are not having a repeat conversation of your jail escapades. It's just you and me, alright? There's no one here listening or with any other ulterior motives other than me willing to hear you out. So. Out with it then!"
"I just wanted to leave with a clear conscience. You and I both know how this could all go. The others...Todd...you...this was better for all of us, and I couldn't afford more time. After today, there's no more time, and I can't Don!”
“No. I don't believe you'd do that to us again”
“I think I would!”
“You are not"
"Don I - "
I wouldn't let you! You are NOT doing that to me again. Fuck you, and your blasé notes. If you have a problem, talk to me!” The undercurrents of 'like you used to' hung in the air. Dirk took a leap of faith trusting his old friend would catch him. Donald had always been the one to take him most seriously, had been the first to really accept him for who he was. His brain able to calm down whenever Scripps marched over to the house demanding they go out for dinner or go on some harebrained scheme to the library.
“I can't stay here. But I can't go back there. You don't know what it's like! None of you do! I hate having to choose between who to save because I want to save both. I don't want you to know what it's like to be there!This is completely different to what I went through back then. There are gaps you don't really know which I also don't want you to know but you'd have to understand why I don't wish for any of us to go back there. So....this......this is the healthiest and best option for everyone”
“You are a -”
“A what Don? Tell me. I am a what?! I am not spending another bloody second wondering who I am hurting or getting someone killed next because in case you hadn't noticed, I tend to do that! I get people killed! I can't have you – any of you - caught up in this even if you are so intent on being! You can't protect me when there's nothing we can find to protect! I can't get you all killed! The universe chooses where I go, but not back there. I hate there! We can't go there! You can't make me go back there. Don't make me go back there”
“No David! David, hush. Hush. It'll all be fine. All I ever think about is how much I failed you back at Cambridge, how I missed all the signs and how much I can't fail you now. You're me best mate, and I'm so sorry I never made you feel as if you couldn't tell me anything or that you made to believe you were anything less than. Just please. Please come back to the warehouse and we can sort this mess out, we can hide ye or something if that man comes back. I don't like him either but running won't solve anything, god knows we were taught enough of that. We can make plans just like Todd is. Just don't run away again, I've had enough of that to last three life times. I'm meant to go out in old age not worrying about whether or not my friend is going to give me a heart attack trying to save others”
“I'm going to have to explain everything, aren't I?”
“What you mean no more beating around the bush? Think you're going to have to especially now we're involved. Silence being the only option is not a good option or whatever Jimmy said when younger”
“I had hoped not to”
“Frankly, I'll take anything over you leaving again any day of the week. We're going to be here for you. You do know that? On the other side of things however, you can't just take away our voice. We have a choice in this ourselves. We should be the ones to decide what we have to do not just you ”
“You and Adil! Anyone would swear you're in cohorts. What if you don't understand it? What if you all think I've gone mad or something equally ridiculous? What if you're frightened of me? What if -”?
“I think you're underestimating us a bit there David” Scripps's voice became amused, David and his bloody over-dramatics. “C'mon let's go and get back in the warm, I'm freezing my knob off out here”
“Charming language as always Donald”
Despite his reservations, he still let Don walk him back to the warehouse. Of course Don would be the one to reason with him and make him see a bit more sense than he would have.
Daybreak had just begun and as the sun flitted in, so did the pair of them.
Only to see the others awake and frantic before clocking the pair of them with Don putting the packed bag back on the floor next to where Dirk had been sleeping.
“And where have you been?”
“Never you mind, you nosy prat”
“It's nowt to do with any of you”
“Clearly something seeing as your bags are all packed”
Jimmy walked up towards the both of them, Todd leant on the edge of the couch as everyone's else faces spoke what they felt. Todd even while saying it hadn't expected Dirk to run away or at least run away without letting Todd know what he was planning to do in advance. He didn't want to look at the rest of the guys having to deal with this.
“Again David? Really?”
Wait what? Todd's mind went into overdrive. He remembered they said he had had a breakdown but did that include running? He noted none of them had moved a muscle. Jimmy pushed his hands into his pockets trying to be more lax than he was. He looked so much like the young teen, Dirk had to smile just a little bit. All that was missing were the badges on his blazer to perfect it. The smile wiped off as the man came back into focus, practically hardening his tone and making Dirk go cold all over.
“Talk”
Chapter 15
Notes:
This is ridiculously long - (Thanks Blackwing memories I had to attempt to write, ya nasty) - I hadn't planned to make this one as long as it as but well fifty regrets later and here we are. Please be aware there's some very subtle mention of Hector and the bike around the time they're talking about Cutlers. Hope you all enjoy ^_^
Chapter Text
“It's not easy to explain. Especially within the right context” He spoke dejectedly trying to erase the frown that appeared on his face in concentration.
“Hang on though. Didn't you once say that if you could put something in context that anything could be explained, and if could be explained , then it could be explained away David?”
“We were talking about the Holocaust at the time Jimmy. Not our dead and injured teachers” Dirk dead-panned.
Even telling them just about the basics right now made his skin crawl. Always had since he'd been welcomed with ice creams into one of the loudest groups he'd ever had the courage to meet. Maybe if he distanced himself from the story, it'd be easier? Sort of like erasing history himself? But the boys had never heard him with anything less than emotion so it wouldn't have even been worth the practise. Or Todd would have called him out on his bullshit because he'd have hurt himself in some form or other in the long run. Between them, they all understood talking it out would be the best option. Would they even believe what he was about to spill forth? He knew there might be some sceptics in the group, not everyone would believe in things such as what he was or did for a living. Not everyone could handle what he was about or got up to. They'd have questions as well, all of which was not ideal.
Keeping himself fully in his thoughts, he forgot there was a group waiting on him to answer. Someone was clicking their fingers in front of him vying for his attention. His assis-friend telling them to at least leave him alone for a second. Scripps's face in front of him. Blinking his eyes back to the setting in front of him, sighing for the umpteenth time as worried and diligent eyes crossed his own. Ignoring Todd's frown now matching his, moreover the boys tuts and mocking complaints that the man clicking his fingers waiting patiently for an answer, was never as concerned when they were in trouble and why did Pos get all the special attention, as he answered.
“I'm alright Donald”
The look said Scripps didn't believe it but not wanting to push as he stared at the others all waiting for something so desperately needing to hear. The explanation had been taking far too long, and they wanted to have the utmost power against the Riggins bloke to throw him off his game and back the hell (with a sorry up to God as he thought said word) off of everyone. They may not have known him for very long; however since the colonel had mentioned the accident, seeing how words spilled forth to wrongly protect and serve something their friend clearly didn't want to go back to, made them all detest who he was here and now. Good intentions inside or not.
“Ye sure?”
“Yes
“I do know you, if you can't quite remember?”
“Not quite in the way you've been reminiscing about Don, I...I'm not who I was then, and I'm certainly not who I was a few days ago seeing you all again or at least a certain side of me is being re revealed! But I'm still not David! I'm still not him, I'm someone else now. Someone better but we're getting off track here. Don...Donald. You became one of my most closest friends, the closest I had ever had before Cutler's and sometimes it's been hell not reaching out to you. You don't know how hard I've felt making sure to stay away from you. Everyone I meet, I'm bound to lose them somehow, only for a few years I didn't. I didn't! And then everything went south. I thought of telling you when I saw how upset you were with me but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to you. You....there are a few people I am rarely ever close to, and everything you were to me. Being kind especially, it was like having my mother around or at least someone as near to her as you could get. No one else has ever filled that place. No-one else ever will. Even the days where I felt nothing but Blackwing, you were always there to settle me down or give me a witty retort. You're almost just like her Don”
Here he stopped to take a breath as Todd glanced on in shock at the revelation he just heard, he knew there had been something extra between the pair of them and he had only ever heard of Dirk's mother once or twice but had known how protected Dirk had felt around her. How comfortable and calming it had been til he had been so cruelly ripped away from her. He somehow managed to feel both aggravated that he couldn't be that for Dirk himself yet relieved Scripps could be relied upon in the best of ways. If Todd couldn't be there for reassurance, he could look to his right and there'd be the Sheffield gang. Noticing his frown becoming even frownier, he made steps to smooth it out as he laughed at the fact Scripps just went through all the emotions he just had. Only he appeared in to be a bit more in awe although knowing their lost years hadn't cancelled out their close friendship looking as if he'd won a bit of the lottery.
“Only I don't know how to tell you that I've been lying to you for a while. More than while, definitely longer than I thought I could get away with. I meant it in the Cambridge letter, you shouldn't have been looking for me, people get hurt or put in danger because of me. Now you all have been affected!”
“This wasn't your fault David. You can't have been a part of any of this, couldn't have predicted all this was going to happen” Don hadn't missed the way his friend could be so evasive when there was something he never wanted to express.
“Don, please just trust me?”
Todd sensing if they didn't shove it along further right this second, there'd be time wasting moreover an even more shadier Dirk trying to conceal things to his people shutting off completely. Now feeling a bit less icky referring to them as that. Considering the talking to he'd gotten yesterday, he'd reflected and just like when Dirk had told him to stop making excuses for his excuses, he started to correct his attitudes. Just because he felt wrong around them because he felt like an outcast did not mean he got to treat the others like that.
“Dirk, these guys aren't going to wait around forever. We gotta check back in with Farah in a minute as well. I promised her at least once a day to make sure we weren't getting sucked into another parallel universe and I don't know about you, but I'd rather not have that on my conscience when we get back”
“Unlock your dirty secrets then Pos”
“I suppose that gives us a starting point as any Rudge. As I'm fairly sure you're aware by now, my name is Dirk Gently, not David Posner”
“Have you sniffed glue or something lately? You have been acting off since we've reunited – jump for joy, blessed is us – and in case you have forgotten, you in fact are David Posner”
“I was. Yes. Honestly did you not listen to anything I just said? I'm not him any more, and if you keep interrupting then you're never going to get the answers you're so diligently seeking. So I'd appreciate it very much if you all shut up for five and just listened. A hard thing to ask of you however I'm sure you can accomplish it”
Todd blinked. Dirk never had a handle on things. He could hold a room with his detection and discoveries but unless he had a point to make or a Todd to tell off, he couldn't hold conversations with people. Actually holding a long conversation where he knew all the social cues and conversing easily was like Todd was dreaming. Todd needed alcohol of some sort.
Dirk took a deep breath in like Mrs Lintott used to when she'd seen Felix walk past her wanting to take a few minutes to 'chat'.
“My name isn't David Posner. Obviously I changed it. I haven't even reacted to that name since I lost out during the exams at Cambridge. I changed it the minute after I got out of jail and came to America. I came to Sheffield underneath someone else's eye, and that was only because it was for an experiment of some sort. I never knew whether it was for my own benefit or whether it was for a bit of fun on their behalf thinking I wouldn't swim to shores. Quite possibly it seems to have been a bit of both. I wouldn't have even got a chance on the outside if it hadn't been for two people pulling me here which I must say I am only slightly grateful towards. By the time I realised they weren't sticking around to make sure I went to school or wanting to prepare more tests, I got to choose what was best for me and only me, something which has rarely happened. Nothing has ever felt as perfect as that – besides meeting Todd and Farah and setting up the agency I suppose – I wanted to distance my former self as far as possible because yet again I needed another fresh start away from all the trouble I caused and as I mentioned to get you away from anything that would involve you in things like this, and more than ever I'm happy to be this version of myself even though it's a job and a half”
“So what you just suddenly decided to become a detective? Don't you need like qualifications and shit like that?” Rudge asked in his usual monotone voice.
“ Yes. Well quite. Only the universe didn't really take that into account by the time I got to America and anyone who I am hired by usually understands how my methods work”
“Right. That's not exactly answering” Chris interjected again as they tried to train their minds to understand what their mate was banging on about.
“I'm what you call a holistic detective. I don't need to go the normal route that private detectives do because what I deal with isn't ever classified as 'normal'. I however am completely normal with just a few detours. Cases come to me. I have no overall say in the matter and I just have to solve the puzzle given to me. It's rarely ever in a normal order and before you even think to ask, the term holistic refers to my theory about the interconnectedness of all things. I do not bother with normal police procedure. Rather the pattern and web of the universe as a whole. Once I am hired I am then connected to the specific case. In this one I am personally connected. I get these, hunches, to do with the cases which help me solve it. The thing that keeps me one step ahead of everything else happening. Why I also don't need that police procedure”
“Hunches?” Akthar inquired as the quiet remained in the room only holding Dirk's voice. All ignoring the normal comment that had been made. They didn't need to delve deeper into that.
“My son, the funny farm awaits for you! You're off your bloody rocker!” Timms cackled as Dirk rolled his eyes at the usual antics.
“That's what I call them. I follow these hunches given to me following the universe to lead me to answers I am seeking and I will eventually then solve the case merely by just kind of doing whatever. All these horrible things happen to me, when the cases are done I'm taken somewhere new. But you were all so nice. So nice. Supportive. Willing to help. Things I hadn't had around me since I was young. Even when you said things that I never used to understand or I thought you hated me because I couldn't catch onto things as quickly as you could at first or just fish a quote off of the top of my head until I realised that was how you showed you cared. All I wanted to do was stay with you. You...helped me make the start to be me, the start to perfect Dirk Gently....Not who I was before. You became something more than friends. I have never forgotten you. I could never. Not even as much as I tried to”
Todd had been amazed at how much the boys had stayed silent. They were never this silent. They'd let him get words out of the way first with only little commotion. Some of their fears of having been forgotten assuaged. He would have sighed louder if it hadn't been for the next question. Or who it had come from.
“Can I at least ask what Blackwing are or do? You mentioned something beginning with B during our time at uni and then you cut yourself off. I never exactly forgot it. That Riggins bloke mentioned us going back there and it was like Irwin trying to debate the Holocaust all over again on your face. I was worried about you then as well. I know jail might have shaken you when you got back to the dorms but that's what you were on about really, wasn't it? That's what made you scramble faster. Now they've been mentioned over and over again, it's like all of a sudden I've been bashed over the head with the name, and I would really like the answer as to what it is or why it's prevented you from doing so much”
“Wait jail?! I thought you were kidding when you first brought that up!”
“It...might have been”
“You don't have to answer them Dirk. Even the jail thing. But I've been biting my nails for answers too. I've been patient, like real patient but you never really explained how you know these guys apart from me guessing you were all school together doing exams. There's no pressure but it'd be great to have some insight on my part I guess”
“Sixth form, yes. Jail, yes! I'd rather not talk about it, it's something I am very much over and very much not excited to revisit. Todd I know you're trying to help lessen the blow or whatever as we talk but I actually have found this a bit easier than I so thought. It's still daunting but I believe telling you about how all of us met can wait at least a little while longer”
“Fine. But you do owe me that after you're done doing this. I wasn't just trying to help. I actually do want the story”
“Not that I don't love a heart to heart as much as the next bloke but you never really finished telling us what you were, I don't exactly understand why you'd have to go into hiding or changing names or personalities or whatever. Fresh start are usually reserved for just moving houses or buying a new bed frame or something isn't it?”
“Of course Rudge. Turnabout fair play, all that”
“When I was young I used to get hunches, little things about the way in which I saw the universe. Which direction to go in but I had to sort it out like a dot to dot it with no numbers attached. I was the only one to see connections like it. Seeing everything being connected. Seeing nothing being connected. Being constantly surrounded by varying and frightening states of disaster makes it hard to keep said friends which is why I worked so hard to keep you. Back then was when I decided maybe I could use them to help other people. I never know how to explain it. It's like when we were first working out Irwin and his controlled assessments. Hard to decipher but once you got to the answer, to solving the case, it was wonderful. People when I say this ask if I'm psychic because it sounds plausible and if not then it doesn't. I'm not psychic. I'm...something. Definitely something. But I am not psychic”
“How young were you?”
“Did you freak out?”
“People call you psychic? I mean I know we just did but still? I will say you do exhibit the traits”
“How did Blackwing fit into all this?”
“Well that's quite a fair amount of questions. I....hmm....I suppose I sort of did freak out, but never for long. I was about five or so when I had a hunch and solved something and then it just kept happening. I was scouted when I was about 12 or so by two men from the CIA – one of them being Colonel Riggins - and sent to this facility called Blackwing. By that point my mother had died and my father had gone missing. They told me I would be well looked after and hone my abilities. Only they were dead set on calling me psychic which after a year of not producing any sign of it, you think would make them stop but they were still making me do tests and exercise bikes and other such things I didn't want to. Every single day. They swore no harm would come to me. They lied. By the time I reached sixth form was the time they set me free. Or rather to see what would happen when they sent a person like me into the outside world. I went back there a while ago shortly after I met Todd. Would you believe being told you're psychic even after being tested as not when younger being so adamantly not, does not make you psychic. We were branded with project names, spent days just wondering the buildings doing project things; blood tests, guess what's in this box or guess the number, exercise bikes you're on for ages, gunge in your face and a whole host of other non nice things that happened and let's say for now I'm happy to be out on all accounts and you can see why I won't want you back there. Now I've managed to explain most of the things bugging everyone, any questions?”
“Are you even actually Jewish or was I keeping fake tabs on something I ever shouldn't have?”
“I am Don! I only ever lied to you about some things not everything”
“That doesn't actually cut it David. You should never have lied to me in the first place”
“I know. How many times do you want me to apologise for every little thing?”
“I swear Don. I did not lie to you about my religion. I just didn't practise as much of it as I could have. I was very young when everything happened, we both can agree on that, but I am Jewish. I have practised my faith and I am not lying about it. My father told me to proud of my Jewish ancestry. I am. It was nice being able to talk about it with you Scrippsy. I just am also Romanian and English. The colonel was never aware about that. Sadly now he does but I would rather you knew how heartless this man can be before we go any further, I want to give you no illusions as who this man really is. He may have sent me to you but he never cared about anything more than potential results. Somewhere I'm sure there's something better but..not now. He won't hesitate to push someone in the firing line to get to me. He's clever like that”
“Trust me, Dirk isn't lying about that. Or about really caring for you guys. Even heard him practising Yiddish once or twice with Amanda for some god damn reason”
“Fine. For now David. I'll believe you. I just can't believe anyone would experiment on children or adults even”
“No, nor can I”
“So? Is it my go now to ask?”
“For what Todd?”
“Don't pull that I'm a clueless idiot who can't remember things Dirk. You know what I mean”
“Yes...well...ho...what would you like to know?”
“Forget that, I can build a much prettier picture! We first met this lost lamb when he managed to get himself tangled up near the school gates and the pavement, you should have seen how silly he looked! Nothing fit that lankish frame and he looked as if any of our movements would spook him! Only I guess now if you were being experimented on,and all kinds of other things...everything you were taught would have been less than healthy and so much is now matching up in my head. It took you a long time to get used to us” Akthar commentated in the breaks between sentences.
“ 'E was still incredibly smart though. Thoughtful and engaging, it was mad to see someone enjoying being in school and valuing us and being taught so much” Came Chris's chirrup.
“He settled in well enough by the end of Year 12 and even better during Year thirteen. He's a smart boy despite his taste in some people” Jimmy winked as he delivered the compliment, Dirk flushing in embarrassment.
“That a hint at me?”
“None whatsoever Stu”
“Things started to go a bit haywire after Year Thirteen. We were put up for Oxford and Cambridge, most of which we didn't mind but we had to complete an extra school term or so, they drafted a new teacher in to help but by the time we all got our acceptance letters, some things went down” Adil continued.
“The accident you mentioned earlier. The thing Riggins brought up? One dead, one injured?”
“Gold star”
“So.....care to elaborate? I asked Jimmy earlier and you went as white as a sheet. Something had to have happened to make you all go like that. I promise you, I'm not judging, I just want to understand”
“Yeah something happened. Something bad”
Quiet reigned over for a minute or two.
“Hector crashed the bike. Irwin was on it” Dakin stated leaving it there leaving the others to elaborate.
“Hector had just been reinstated as the general studies teacher having been fired only days beforehand for....well it doesn't matter for what for -”
“It doesn't matter?! Everything matters if I'm meant to help you! Unless it's something....god what happened?”
“Got lifts home. Used to carry a textbook in front of my bag. No more massages of a kind as one speeded among leafy suburban roads. No more of the bike's melancholy long withdrawing roar as he drops you off at the corner, your honour still intact!”
Todd filled in the gaps taking in their downcast faces, far away eyes, now having a bigger idea of what they were going on about and felt sick to the stomach. No wonder they didn't want to talk any further about that.
“So, how had he crashed the bike if he was used to driving one handed or whatever?”
“Irwin hadn't been on a bike before. Think he unbalanced Hector. Hector than crashed it, Irwin got injured and now is in a wheelchair. Hector died on impact” Stuart finished up finally managing to find his voice.
“God”
He expected to hear a witty retort from any of them. None came. Dirk seemed to be the only one able to keep a clearer head right then.
“All of that carried over towards Cambridge. Things didn't really calm down. Most of our mindset focused on just completing our degrees but I couldn't Todd. Everything built around me crumbled. I didn't feel as if there was anyone to go to seeing as we'd all split our group and Blackwing weren't as shutdown as I thought as it had been. Also I was studying History! I hadn't even got to choose what my degree got to be! I was studying something I had been pushed into and I had tried so hard to continue on but I couldn't. All that was needed was to bring our school up in the leagues was getting us into Oxford and Cambridge. We were his solution to getting that. Part of another project. Felix was such a tosser. Don tried to bring me out of it a bit although that wasn't possible. I became directionless again. Just a simple experiment. For a long time, I thought I caused sir's death and Irwin's injury. Sometimes I guess I still feel that”
“What? David, that isn't...no one saw that coming. No one was ever to blame!”
“I stayed against the universe's wishes. I wanted to remain with you all. Stay and be more than what everyone had told me. You noticed I was going downhill, I won't deny that but with you all missing, I lost. Nightmares came and went and panic attacks got more forceful. I thought I'd been abandoned while knowing I'd done it on purpose to make things easier. Yes you broke apart from me and only cared about matches or whatever but I hurt you just as much when I made the decision to leave not acknowledging that how much I'd actually hurt you"
"You were having a breakdown and we hadn't noticed until too late. We were concerned but only towards the end when things wer worse. There's fault on both our parts. What's that got to with blaming yourself?"
"You're not listening! I defied the universe and it put me in my place. So I sold the exam results. CIA bailed me out afterwards, how I got out of the rest of my sentence. Even if you had said something, I might not have listened. Might still have gone the same way. I accepted the terms I set out for myself a long time ago. There was nothing left to lose”
“Your life was already screwed up before you came there” Scripps recited from memory.
“You remember that?”
“I remember feeling the most angry I had with you for a long time Pos. All we were trying to do was get through something none of us had really wanted to sign up for but wanted to see through. Concerned won out in the end. You had just done something stupid but the reasons I never had. Now I understand a bit more and I can understand a bit easier. I feel like a right tit”
“That's normal for you then”
“Fuck right off Posner”
“Anyways I got to America, met Todd on one of the best cases ever, back to Blackwing and then another case with a house within a house with an entrance to Wendimoor and now I'm with you all! I mean I'm still not exactly thrilled about it but I suppose the universe might be doing this as a thank you”
“Us being sent to what sounds like a place filled with trauma for you is a thank you from your universe? Pos you still sound like you're completely barking mad!” Jimmy exclaimed.
“I don't remember it being great with the Patrick Spring case” Todd muttered hoping none of them would notice.
“Todd we saved Lydia, that counts as great”
“I got wanted by the FBI!”
“Not any more!”
“I almost got hanged by the Trosts!”
"But you got the awesome air gun!"
"The purple people eater actually almost ate me!"
“Well, okay maybe there weren't some good parts”
“Oh my god, dude! There's no winning with you!”
“Yet you're still around! Stop wildly accusing me of things you put yourself in charge for Todd”
“Are we done with trading life stories? Are we all happily caught up? I thought I'd left history spiels back in school”
“Wendimoor? Never heard of it. Sounds knobbish”
“Well you wouldn't have Peter. It's a beautiful parallel universe. Closed off now I'm afraid. But it was a bit like a Romeo and Juliet situation that needed Francis to help rule and defeat the Mage at the same time. I don't even want to know how Bart goes back and forth”
“You really want to find out?”
“No. Thank you Todd”
“It's getting late, anyone hungry?”
“I'll go! I need something to do, can't keep staying cooped up in here without breaks. Pizza better be good with anyone because otherwise you'll go without”
Dirk caught up to Dakin's fast paced walk ten minutes after he'd bolted it out of the warehouse.
“What are you doing? Can't you just leave off for five?”
“Isn't it obvious? I'm following you, and I wouldn't worry, I know what being followed feels like. CIA stuff. Rowdy 3 stuff. Nothing to concern yourself with. And because I still care about my friends. And believe it or not, you are still one of them. Yes even as you huff and blow your house down, I am still your friend who cares about you Stu. Care to tell me why you wanted to bolt? It was like your arse was on fire!”
“Not really Pos or whatever you're calling yourself now, just do us a favour and just leave me alone?”
“So you can mope in peace or so you can try and track down Irwin's phone number and listen to a hello before you shut off the receiver or try and warn him of something that he may or not be involved in with Blackwing?”
Dakin didn't like how much Pos saw through him. Usually Pos would have crowded his space, quote some sappy thing at him and leave. Not now. Now he seemed to see something deeper.
“Dakin. Don't go down that road. You chose your move a long time ago and I don't know whether you would be able to change it. I'm not sure you'd want to. This is how I work. You can't go wondering around aimlessly, especially in the middle of a case. Only I can do that because it might lead me to something. I can't have you hurting yourself because you think you blame yourself for whatever is happening! “
“The way you blame yourself by blaming yourself for the accident”
“Yes. So you'll admit I can relate. The universe won't reward you as such if you continue down this path”
“And what path is that then?”
“You know I liked you. A lot. I know you knew I did. I still do like you Dakin. Just not like that, I'd rather that remain in the past. We're friends and nothing more. I'm happy to say that. You were something I romanticised, and I was too blinded by my own crush or infatuation I had on you to see how badly you were affected by Irwin until it was too late. Our eyes met looking at you. I remember. And because you were so involved with yourself and your status or whatever else it was, you let him get away. I wish I could have...helped. I tried to make better moves when I went to Seattle. Right now it looks as if I need to sort you out too. It's like I told Todd, it's very easy to act like a jerk and say you're a jerk so that's that and continue to go down that road and just blame everyone for everything but it's not. You blame the situation but not the choice you made so you pull yourself down for it because you know there was nothing else in the way, just you. You handed the helmet over so easily, you think maybe if you hadn't things would be different. Well listen up Stuart bloody Dakin! It might have still happened. It could have been you on the road or Irwin might have died! But he didn't, he's still around and so are you! Stop beating yourself up!
“How Pos?”
“I just told you. Start making better choices. Stop hanging up the phone when you hear hello, talk to any of us. I just want my friend to be happy. I think we all deserve it especially after what we went through!”
“I'll think about it. Look at you having a good head on your shoulders”
“Don't try and push me off course when I'm trying to give you a measured speech so you can pretend to act like a jerk again. You can't control it. That's not how it works. You're just making excuses for excuses. Take control of your life Dakin!”
“Jim boy's just texted me.....turns out Riggins is back at the warehouse. He's waiting for us”. Stuart stated as Dirk rolled his eyes at being ignored. Groaning at how terrible Blackwing's timings were.
“Fantastic”
“Ah Dirk, I was wondering where you had gotten to. Have you thought about it?”
Dirk glanced around and nodded.
“No. I refuse your offer colonel”
“Very well. I accept your answer. But I have something that might persuade you a little further. I didn't want to have to do this, a last resort sort of thing...but when things need to be officiated, there are little other ways. I have some of your friend's significant others up already in Blackwing. We even managed to pick up that Irwin guy you mentioned last time. To them they've only been there an afternoon or so when in reality it's been a day, some of them were quite feisty and needed something to sooth their nerves. Would you like to see? ”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“Dakin, ignore him, he's bluffing. He's got to be bluffing”
“I'm not. I can always tell a group that needs proof”
He brought out yet another Blackwing device (causing some of the boys minds to wonder where on earth he was keeping those things) pressing something to show some of the Sheffield lot's partners and Irwin himself holed up in a badly lit area looking haggard and bruised, all of the boys faces going from shocked to fury to scared before succumbing to white as a sheet.
“Oh my god Jade!”
“Simone!”
“How'd you find Irwin?!”
“Casey!!”
"Oh David is right, you are an utterly contempt bastard" Jimmy snarled. Riggins did nothing except smirk gently at the chaos asking the same old question hoping there'd be a difference in answer.
“What's your answer going to be now?”
Chapter 16
Notes:
The writing goblins did NOT want this to be written but I'm pretty happy with the end result of it!
If I don't post beforehand, I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Or a very happy holidays depending on what you celebrate! Thank you so much for the follows/kudos and comments and I wish you good health and a great 25th whatever you happen to be doing/celebrating with <3.
Chapter Text
“How did you get them there?” Came the ashen voice with even shakier hands. There had to be a grip on the situation. Dirk needed to have it back.
“I believe that's a different question to the one I need answering Dirk”
“Piss off! Dirk doesn't have to answer anything you say” Akthar yelled over the quiet.
“But he does for this. I'm afraid I won't be leaving without one”
“My answer first. How did you get them there? Are you making them Blackwing property? What are you doing with them?”
Riggins nodded in defeat.
“They decided on their own accord to come to Blackwing”
“Bullshit!”
“Maybe there was a struggle or two and they had to be subdued. But they did decide on their own Dirk. Once they realised that their partners might also be in danger -”
“- Um, when you told them they'd be in danger more likely”
“They came to Blackwing willingly. Seeing as they aren't projects, we did have to take into account they would not be able to do the same things you once did”
“Dirk told us about what you did, what you're most likely doing to them now despite saying you're not because you are not helping anyone no matter what you say, and if you even think for a second we're letting him go back there, you can shove it right up your smug army arse” Seethed Chris.
“So your wives and teacher don't matter to you then?”
Quiet reigned over as the situation blasted right back through them. Dirk reaching for any hopeful ending but coming up short.
A lose-lose in front of him.
Although he could make it less of a loss. What he'd been planning before Don stopped him, he could undo that. He'd been running every day since Cambridge and even to a point up until now. From Blackwing to Cambridge to even now. He swore he would always do what he could to help protect people during and after his cases and he had the chance to do good in the world when there had been nothing but black. He'd almost done it back in Wendimoor giving up on finding Francis but something inside wouldn't let him shut his damn investigative brain off. Even with the help of Beiste.
He had the chance to do something good again. Do something meaningful. Helpful. Something that would stop his world from crashing and spinning over again. Give him something to focus on and keep him calm. It might mean more hell, more trauma but he would go through it all again in a heartbeat if it meant sparing the boys what he went through. He knew Riggins was lying through his teeth about wanting free projects back in Blackwing for safety. Knew he just wanted to be back in command. Maybe there was some misplaced guilt in letting so many go or if he really did sort of care. Dirk found he really didn't care. He just needed him off of everyone's back. Let them be safe. Free.
If he could just turn back time a little to stop his family families getting embroiled in this than that would have been a cherry on top.
They wouldn't like it. They'd in fact really quite hate it. Especially after he'd spoken so much about how not wanting to back there he was. He'd hurt them before and most likely he'd be doing it again. This was the best option for everyone so they would just need to deal with it.
Yet there was no other option!
Okay yes maybe there was one other option however he'd dismissed it. No one else but him was going there. And he had faith in the boys. He had faith that they'd kick up such a fuss in order of getting him back, there'd be barely any time spent in there. All of them banded together as a team in the end. They were good at that. Getting out of things. Being together strengthened them. Plus this way he could watch over their families. This way he could lead them to safety just as much, make sure nothing else happened to them by putting himself in the firing line.
Todd might hate the boys afterwards though. Hopefully he'd forgive him and what he was ready to do. The detective was not running away this time. He was going to stick it out, give himself up. For his friends.
“I'm going with you”
Yells with insults were instantly flung across the room while Riggins looked pleased with the outcome.
“Very well. I will wait outside for you, you have ten minutes”
Riggins left and the only not at his side was Todd who seemed more than disappointed with his decision.
“Are you stupid as fuck or something?!!” Stuart exclaimed.
“I'm just being realistic!
“You can be realistic without being stupid!”
“Do you know what Blackwing is like? Telling you was only half a sweeping story about the actual place, and it was only half of what happened to me! I'm the only one who knows the ins and outs. I'm the one he was looking for and if you think for one second I'm just going to leave you to your deaths you thought wrong! Don't you think I've evaluated all the other options while he was talking? The only way it would end is badly. This way the blow is softened”
“I've changed my mind. You are stupid” Timms muttered.
“Not as stupid as you'd be if you'd just offered your lives up”
“You just did!”
“Mine was taken from me a long time ago. Unlike you, I can get it back again. I've done it twice before. Everything in comes in three's or something like that. Like I told you, the universe dictates where I go and at the moment it's pushing for me to go”
“Or you're trying to soften the blow so it's easier for us to accept you're willing to back there for us. To keep us safe, because you know that we would still fight to get you back. See David, I do know you. In any version of you, I'd know you inside and out. Holistic presence or no” Scripps laughed at the end of his sentence.
“Look, this might appear to be the stupidest thing I might have done but trust me on this. You are not suffering any more bad memories than you have already from school, and I will be able to keep an eye on everyone else while you search for ways to get us all back safely and unharmed whether you believe everything I've told you is true or not, and a way to get Riggins back in his place which I really hope extends to not killing anyone. Now I believe we're reaching the end of our allotted ten minutes so any messages?”
“Yeah. Just tell them we're coming for them. We're coming back for you David. Okay. You'll be quoting mad nonsense in no time and annoying us in no time. Two days tops. Just look after Jade. Please”
“I have one. Keep yourself alive. Keep yourself in one piece at least. We're not ditching you. You're me mate and it might be a shit deal we have here but no bailing. Promise you'll see us in the next few days?”
“Promise Peter. I'll tell them, don't worry Adil”
“You're an absolute wanker but you're our wanker. Do not do anything that will make me want to kick your arse from sun to sundown when we break you out”
Dirk huffed at the subtle bollocking Jimmy had given him as he turned round facing the person who started to look even more lost than when he first got tackled to the ground outside the pub.
“Todd”
“You're an asshole. You think you're going to be bailed out. You really think you're not going to be trapped there again? You think these guys are really going to be able to set you free?”
Scripps grabbed Dirk's shirt in response to this knowing Todd was just deflecting his anger toward the terrible situation even without having known him for less of a time than Pos, and hugged him tightly taking in his features as he then let go and patted his shoulder stepping back.
“Oh Pos, you and your spaniel heart. Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Don't let Blackwing diminish what you are. I'll be thinking of you until we see each other again. You went through it twice and you can do it again. You're braver than any one of us and we are so grateful at what you're doing for us. Sycophancy tone's or not”
“A. A. Milne?”
“I figured it'd be appropriate”
“It's appreciated"
“So you're all just letting him go? We're just letting him walk? No more putting up a united front against this just because Dirk's given a speech? I really thought I was starting to understand and get along with you all but this is! -”
“I believe your ten minutes are up”
Dirk glanced at all the boys feeling everything shrink back to grey and small. He blew out a breath as he reminded himself this was the best possible ending. He walked out of the building still trying to focus on his breathing and nothing else. This was the best possible outcome. No one got got hurt except him. He could watch over everyone else. Everything would be fine. The warehouse could survive the boys without their Dirk/David buffer. They'd find some common ground and work together. They'd find them shortly after he was placed back there. They'd be fine. All of them would be fine. Todd would do anything to get him back as much as the others, no matter how much of a task it would be to keep his old school friends calm, and Todd himself, sane.
Chapter 17
Notes:
Honestly half of this got away from me. I blame the characters fully. Hope you all enjoy the latest update and that you all are having a peaceful holiday!
Chapter Text
The group stared at the entrance for longer than they had expected. Todd had to whistle to get them to look away from it. The pulls of his face trying to mask the underlying fuel for fire he felt. Todd had tried. He had tried to accept them. He had tried to accept the fact Dirk was friends with them first and he'd had this whole other life, and it had been just as rough towards the end like in Blackwing.
Now thanks to these people he'd tried to escape - protect – he was back there. His best friend who had helped him so much, and now thanks to these assholes who had let him leap into the wolves mouths, Dirk was gone. Todd knew that their teacher and Dakin's face had propelled him into going back even further. He'd tried to pretend like Dirk wouldn't be his naturally but incredibly fucking annoying kind self but as always with the man, he got proved wrong.
Dirk back at Blackwing and Todd....Todd stuck here with this lot. This lot who still seemed stunned into silence only blinking back into reality when they heard Todd scoff. Half of them narrowed their eyes into what most people would have run from, while the rest manoeuvred back into the centre of the warehouse not even willing to speak. Like they seemed to think they'd sent Dirk to his death instead of just a few days perhaps more than a month or so away from them.
Todd never stated otherwise. They deserved it.
Morning came over them steadily. Sunlight just about managing to flick through the cracks of some of the blacked out windows Todd and Dirk had put up so people couldn't see in on whatever holistic thing they were getting up to when they'd first got settled of what felt like more than two months now.
Todd thought about going to grab coffee before vetoing it. He needed to talk to all these guys first.
“Unless you think you're going to get somewhere, you can stop staring”
Todd hadn't been paying attention to the fact they'd risen around the same time or that he'd been staring so intently. Now he had someone's attention he didn't want.
“Can you stop eye-fucking me? I know I'm frankly irresistible but this is too much even for me”
“Eh, I'd say you're passable. I'd give you at least a seven out of ten"
“Just cos you're only a four Anthony”
“Can you stop flirting for two minutes and take note of the fact e's been staring at us for more than five minutes since you started? Take it you want to get something off your chest mate?” Rudge droned on.
“I can't believe any of you. Are you seriously this unconcerned about what's happening right now? Or did you just choose to forget? Dirk's counting on us. Your friend is in trouble most likely being experimented on again right now because you all thought it'd be better to just give him up. To just say goodbye and see you later! You know there may not actually be another hello right? You may not get to actually see Dirk again! Blackwing isn't just something you can word your way out of. It takes precise planning and an actual brain to figure out where to go and who to avoid next in case you get thrown in there with them. Blackwing doesn't care who you are, it cares about what you can do, and if you can't do anything, they more than handle it”
“Thought I sorted you out when we had our 'chat'”
“You weren't sorting me out. Yeah you were right in some cases. But then you totally didn't follow through on any of your promises. You didn't step in. You didn't protect him, you just let him go! Walked him back into nightmares and I'm the one that will have to deal with the fall out because as far as I can see, you won't bother! God knows you did nothing when he had his first breakdown or he wouldn't be here right now! God! I know nothing about any of you by the way, Dirk never talked about you. Ever. I don't who you are except you're all closer than you act and you went to school and college after the accident. I know you're all complete jokes with a penchant for quoting stupid things at each other and patting yourselves on the back when there's nothing to celebrate! I thought we were getting along, but then you let Dirk down. I thought..... I put up with you throughout all of this, I put up with you when Dirk was here and you were trying to hide your pasts or whatever and I tried to help settle some things around you but did you see what we just did?! We sent him back to his hell dimension over some stupid childhood friendships! Something he owed to you? Did you even care at all?”
Todd sucked in air as he noted he had felt he was running out of it getting everything he felt and concealed out in the air, he wasn't going to hide it any longer. The assis-friend couldn't knew he couldn't do anything for his best friend right now and it stung. There was no outlet besides either punching something or screaming at the people he wished he hadn't met. Dirk would be disheartened at his actions, but he wasn't here right now, and if he really wanted to know then he could chew him out when he hopefully got back to the agency.
“So you weren't listening then? We told you. David knows how to look after himself. Just because he sunk when he could have asked us to help him swim. We knew he was having problems alright? Every single one of us went round and asked but he pushed himself further away each time. You need to get a grip” Jimmy accused as he leaned back on his chair pointing his finger at him.
“What?!”
“Don't give me that crap, you 'eard. You don't like us and that's fine. But don't assume just because Pos barely spoke about us, didn't mean we didn't exist before then in his head, in his life. David's not property to be bargained with. He did what he stupidly did because he wanted to save our hides in the process, and in case you hadn't forgotten it's not your life in danger!”
“Yeah I know how much you're all in danger which is why Dirk isn't here right now!”
“It's not about us”
“I believe that, sure”
“Prat”
“Excuse me?!”
“Our partners and our teacher are in there. So yeah, it's not about us! Not completely, you want to sit back and tell us that if it was your brother or sister, you wouldn't jump in the firing line? You saying that people don't make it out of Blackwing and yelling at us doesn't help! Solves nothing in actual fact!” Adil puffed out.
Todd gaped at that feeling as if he'd been slapped across the face. In the midst of arguing, he forgot there had been just Dirk they needed to save. He didn't want to think about the times he thought Amanda had been stored away in Blackwing when on the run. The anger simmered down a bit but still burned underneath gently.
“Why didn't David tell you about us?” Crowther asked quietly as if unsure of knowing whether or not he wanted the answer.
“Beats me. Although I imagine it'd be because he knew how much you'd annoy me”
“Hey! That's not fair!”
“Oh really?! Name one thing that hasn't had me wanting to go outside for air!”
The cacophony started up again as Scripps watched them squabble back and forth. Despite what Todd had been saying (and he had been right in some respects) nothing was being done except arguing! Why were they all blaming each other when really there was only one thing to blame and that was Blackwing.
Blackwing by all accounts he'd learned, took and took. David appeared in all his grace back then and it brought out some of the nicest memories of their teen years and then disappeared just as quick. No one needed to lose David a second time, and Todd possibly lose Dirk. The comments he was hearing seemed to get meaner and more personal. How was anyone meant to rescue their best mate if they couldn't save themselves. They needed to work together, not do any of this!. Scripps waited to see how far it would go regretting it instantly when he heard 'accident'.
That was more than enough to bring him out of his early relaxed state. It was always that way when it came to worrying about David. He cursed himself daily for it. Mind you, when it came to any one of the boys when they wouldn't pick up their phone when he rang them, he worried. Everything else met with his calm attitude. Don couldn't wait for it to return. Being so wrapped up in things and worrying was exhausting. The last time he remembered laughing only being a couple days ago with Pos.
“Are ye all completely serious right now?! David is counting on us. US. And what are we doing exactly to help? Turning on each other, blaming each other for something which he himself is most likely doing. He's trapped in whatever childhood to I guess adult memory trauma he now has. Do we really want to see that boy we got at Cambridge again? Are we seriously all ready to leave him festering in that place for yonks to come? Or are we actually going to try to understand each other and get him out quicker and oh I don't know, kick this Riggins bloke and any other personnel that hurt the whole of the Blackwing lot besides said wanker in the balls with tennis rackets when we're done?”
“Who set Don off?”
“Not me!”
“I wouldn't set Don off if you paid me!”
“All of ye did! We're not helping David in any capacity right now! Should I be even be the one having to calm yourselves down? Time is ticking and we need to sort this out not start feuds! It was all our faults. Not one. Yes we could have put up a bigger front, but would David have really listened to us? Would he have listened to you Todd if you said any of this to his face? No, because that's his default setting. As much as I hate it, it can also be a good thing. He's always willing to help someone out even if it meant he was the one who got in trouble. It was one of the things I valued most when I got to know him. I imagine this not listening, steely determination he has will help him get through. As for getting to know us, well you can ask that later when you've all taken a breather. Away from each other”
“You sound like Mr Henny”
“Am I wrong though? You've got to admit we all need a chance to cool off so we can come back on more stable ground”
“I'd be more than happy to walk away for now”
Todd more than happily walked across toward the far side of the house sitting down at the desk he'd somehow managed to score that no one had quite noticed until now as the other boys all settled around the sofa not paying attention except the hush that seemed to stay so present around them lately.
“Ever heard of two wrongs don't make a right? You knew he'd rise to the bait you set Jimmy”
“Can you stop being replicating your mother for at least a few minutes,you're making my head hurt”
“Looks lads I get it. Trust me, I get it. But did you ever think he might be thinking we intruded on his friendship? He's known this side of David a lot longer than we're giving him credit for. I mean the things he said were utterly in ridicule and mainly stupid however it's got to have your head spinning to find out your mate isn't really who he thought he was and has had this whole other life and he has this group of friends who he's never heard of all of a sudden sneak up on him. We can be quite a lot to some people so I've heard”
“Yeah but we just found about Blackwing which he hid from us but not Todd too, although you don't see us getting huffy about it”
“Does that give us the right to critique?”
The yes's that reverberated around the room even hit Todd's side of the room where he was now listening to them talk. When he heard an even louder 'no it doesn't', he had to turn around. When he turned, he thought of how they were all listening and not interrupting as the journalist spoke, a bit like in the way they had done so for Dirk. He tuned back into the conversation to see what end they were going to meet.
“I'm not willing to cuss any of you out” Don continued.
“But you want to” Crowther countered.
“And it wouldn't be a lie” Akthar muttered from the other side of him.
“We'd...any of us would cuss each other out if we thought it was needed. We're listening now. So come on and hurry it up. How do you want to start this confession of confessions. Braid each other's hair, pillow fight? Any other arrays of fun nights in?”
“Stuart. Don't make this any harder. We have a person relying on us. Possibly two. I don't think Todd will actually be able to stay as sane and quiet as he is right now. That snap from earlier is most likely only a smidgen of what's going on in that head, and it could implode any second”
“Let me guess, you want to waltz over and mother hen him as much as you did David”
“It is not mother henning. It's looking after”
“Oh there's a difference?”
“Either way, Todd definitely needs it less than David ever did, what I will say is that I do want to talk to him. Have we actually let him tell his side of the story? I want it answered. He's David's mate and we should at least try to get to know him like he would want us to. Potentially anyway. I want to fill in as much as possible and then just maybe we can all be better than trying to tear each other apart! So first things first, any of you actually believe in this holistic business? I know I do but I feel as if I always have. Much like God“
“It's going to take a lot more than just a man who believes it all exits and locked them up because of it”
“Fraid I'm with Akthar Scripps” Timms answered for himself.
“Possibly a bit of both for me. Like I told you in the bar, universe helps but you gotta have some control in making the moves otherwise you're just a willing slave to it. Maybe the universe brought us back to each other but David could simply have also not participated. Could have just walked away from us. In the words of one long ago Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.”
“I agree Jim though maybe not with Emery Allen's words precisely. My heart is practically unrelenting in being what we'd all call a believer. I suppose when we see the proof, we'll then all be in agreement. Okay so second, how do we co-operate with Todd because I think we can all admit including you Dakin that he has some good ideas, and he does care as much as we do despite his vitriol earlier. I don't think he has anyone else or if they do, they're somewhere else so let's just accept the fact David managed to move on in his life okay and actually got someone to keep him in check yeah? Which brings me onto my third point which I believe we can all take a stab at?”
The unspoken question hung in the air leaving the boys thinking for more than five minutes when one of them suddenly shot up looking elated opening his mouth and shutting it, all while shocking some of the others off the edge of the sofa in shock, scrambling back on afterwards.
“Give a guy some warning next time you feel like you want to go all Doris Day on us, Jesus!”
“I was going to compare more to the fact of my tutor, he tried to get the room as if his arse was on fire. Sit down for pity's sake! And shut your trap, you're looking like a goldfish who can't decide whether to zoom around it's tank or eat whatever is being poured into it”
“It's the most obvious solution and we almost missed it. We're Oxbridge graduates, I can't believe we're missing the obvious!”
“Share with the class then Adil. We are all waiting in complete and utter anticipation!” Anthony almost hissed.
“It leads back to what you were saying. David said there were other projects in....that place, correct? So did the Riggins fellow. I think we all know Todd knows David almost as much - if not more than we do - has known him what must be a couple years or so now, at least potentially so does that mean he has oh I don't know, met other 'projects' that might be willing to help us out rather than trying to face it all out on our own? He helps them, why wouldn't they help him?”
“I think you should go suggest it Scripps. Think he likes you more out of the lot of us, more's the pity”
“Don't need to pretend like you didn't hear us”
“I don't want to...intrude on your conversation. It seemed kinda...private”
Don huffed a laugh as he situated himself on the desk facing Todd who still sat on the chair letting the calm attitude flicked back into his system and the air around him rather than the irritation of the situation and trying to ignore the rest of the boys who had gone back to talking quietly amongst them all of a sudden looking smug. Moreover feeling glad that it had been Scripps who'd come over to talk to him right now, and not any of the others. The journalist had been the only one not to involve himself in blaming Todd - or at least not too much - and now piecing everything else he'd heard together, he was most likely defending him for some reason.
“So, you want to know about us? What we're like? Moreover what David was like without his bad 'I lived with Blackwing and I still can't believe I'm not being dragged back there so far' days?”
“I was being an ass - “
“Nothing wrong in wanting to know, ye know?”
“If you're sure” came the flippant response as Scripps sighed. Stubborn prat.
“He really did almost bash his head into our school railings, and I'm fairly sure we scared him on first impressions. I introduced myself to him thinking he looked more than a lost sheep but he showed us how intelligent he could be when we started debating things in our first few lessons with Totty. Saw him enough in our local library with books splayed everywhere trying to catch up with us. Put me bag down next to him and he tried to hide away as if being caught meant something bad. Told him I wanted to know if I got number nine right on the English homework before he could pack up and leave. A fib but a much needed one at that. David got spooked with just about everything back then, some days were worse than others. The amount of times I checked on the lad compared to the others” A chuckle followed this which led Todd to do the same starting to see why Dirk had gravitated towards this man. His undemanding nature at this point in time brought different questions to the forefront of his mind instead of just worrying over and over if Dirk was okay. Coping.
“Was history really what you wanted to study and go to college for?”
“No. Not really. Maybe at the time we were tricked into believing so although Felix in words David once told me turned out to only be a 'backstabbing tosser'. Not far off to be honest, all he happened to be concerned with was the fact our school wasn't at the top of the league tables. Can't be sure what I wanted to study, maybe writing but I still turned out to be something to do with that. Think it's what started off David's tail spin, the accident came after. We all lost something that day. Cambridge continued on in the same way. I only just about made it in my exams, half the time I got worried about how Pos wasn't doing anything. Just holed up in his room not wishing for anything else but for the ground to sink in. Boys got worried and so did I. Every day and every way we tried to get him out, he retreated. Wouldn't have met you for a start. Wouldn't have got all this agency malarkey and made his way out into a world he never could quite understand. Gone back into being with people. Could possibly be worse off if he'd stuck it out at uni further. Especially when I thought he wouldn't make it past eighteen”
“Seriously? It got that bad?”
“He lost hope. He lost us. Still thought he was in love with Stuart. Questioned everything. He got Blackwing back. We weren't lying when we told you he had a mental breakdown. Being next to it terrified me. My world couldn't revolve around trying to get him to come back to society yet it did. All I wanted was for him to talk to me, let me in on what was going on. If I had known back then, I may not have trusted anything except the fact he was losing it. Maybe being escorted back to me by the police and running away from us was a good thing. Weren't lying when I said he's me best mate”
“Oh”
“I'm not telling this to make you feel bad or take away your own friendship. I just want you to know he's just as special to us ”
“No I get it. I'm the one who asked anyways. I'm starting to see how he like got on with you all. I just wish he hadn't lied but I can see why. You...you're a lot. Especially when you're all pressing easy buttons. Makes you look like a lot of people I did not want to know and do. So what's all your guy's deal with this Irwin guy?”
“Dakin fell head over heels somehow. Somewhere between hating his arrival to debating the first world war, he went all in, idiotic bell end he is. By the time the accident happened, they were planning to go out for drinks or something. Don't ask. Please for the love of Christ, don't ask. I do not want to go into details about how Stu looked at him like a star crossed lover. Pos noticed, did nothing except point it out as he still looked at Dakin the same. The pair drove me up the bloody wall. Twats, the pair of them. Still at least they kept class entertaining for the rest of us despite Hector not teaching us anything really”
“See this! This is why I have trouble accepting any of you! Why do you talk like that? You say he's your friend”
“Insults are how we show affection. You should hear some of the stuff Posner used to blurt out. Could be a lot worse than us at times. Anyways you call him names as well, don't say that's not you being friendly? I'd say it's more a case of you being concerned that we'll take away your own form of endearments”
Todd ignored that knowing Donald had hit upon the right answer and thought of something else to ask that had been eating away at him.
“So did he...like school?”
"Thrived off of it”
“He really didn't say anything about you. I've never heard of you. Not until this case”
“If he had left a number on the note he left me, you would have. Either way you've heard of us now, and the past he led”
“Some, not all. You can't just ignore the fact that you all existed and I look like the idiot in this situation because I don't know how close you all are or what you all went through"
“Be happy with what we're giving you, not many people would have five minutes of this. Anyway half of it is not our story to tell. David can tell you all about our Endings and plays and everything else under the sun we did and said during the few years before his destined escape. Seeing as I've been so accommodating maybe you could explain more about Blackwing and your cases?”
“I....really don't think it matters and honestly it's kinda hard to follow”
"I think you'll find I'm not most people Todd"
"Whatever. I'm just saying it'll hurt your head if you think about it too hard. There's a lot of liberties you have to take"
“I was taught by a man who let us act out being in a french brothel once, trust me nothing could get past any of the things we used to get up to. Give us the basics then”
“I don't think I even want to know. Basics it is then. The first case then? Okay. We went through the underground Spring family maze to get clues or whatever to solve Patrick Spring's death. We went on the run from time travelling soul swapping cultists in an attempt to save Patrick Spring's daughter Lydia whose soul had been swapped into that of Lux Dejour's dog Rapunzel, and the other way round for Rapunzel before we went back in time ourselves to stop young Patrick Spring from killing said cultists only young old Patrick Spring got murdered trying to protect Lydia. Lydia turns out to be fine, she's safe and Dirk's recovering in the hospital because he's a disaster magnet with two arrows in him, honestly. By the time Farah and I start to set up the agency in this diner, Dirk's gone. Blackwing had been travelling our movements and well, he got taken back”
“What? The? Fuck?!”
“The second one's a little less complicated”
“No it bloody well won't be! Forget whatever I said, if these are the basics, I don't want the full story. How have ye all survived this long?” Scripps started running his hand through his hair in bemusement and confusion.
“Basically there's this kid who was part of Blackwing only in our world he was in his 90's or something but he suffered this stroke when he got moved and it created this parallel universe - “
“Wendimoor? The place mentioned earlier?”
“Yeah. Apparently one of his parents like murdered the other and the kid shot them into the sky. His brother like called Blackwing and they took him which is where Dirk knew him from when trying to solve the case. There was this whole Susie business as well. Anyways, Dirk got broken out of Blackwing and propelled straight into finding him and was surprised it was actually him. He got a bit lost but he solved the case. Like always he solved it”
"And you help by being his assistant?"
"I help see the connections where Dirk can't. Usually it's like trying to decipher what something is used for or figure out....something"
“You've never sounded more like you're on something”
“That's what happens when you're tied to a holistic detective and it's agency, you meet all kinds of things”
“I wish he felt like he could have told me. I know he couldn't have back then but even so -”
“I know. Asshole can be like that sometimes”
“See? Now look at whose insulting his friend”
“It's how I show affection” Todd parroted back. It felt good to actually be having a normal conversation with someone who felt Dirk was as much a whirlwind as he thought he was.
“He's a good person. He's taught me a lot and I know I'm taking my fear of what will happen to him or whatever out on you all but you can't blame me when you almost went straight back to normal with each other immediately after he gave himself up for you. All this bullshit he went through, even without your Cutlers experience, he doesn't deserve it. We got to get him out”
“You have to learn to trust us. Listen, I know we can be a rough and tumble bunch and I know it weird's you out to know that David was once a part of it and might be becoming again and it's this whole other persona, but you can too. I mean you seem to be able to handle yourself amongst us, and you seem to be alright with putting us in our place when we need it. It's a good Cutlers trait to have, well besides actually sticking up for each other, you seem to be a quick learner, could easily catch up within an hour or so, I mean if you want. Honorary Cutler boy for a day or two” He snickered although it still held a tone of sincerity. It actually touched Todd though he would never say it. He still had a reputation to uphold.
“No, that's okay. Thanks but really, I don't think I even want to find out half of the things you've been quoting”
“I am sorry as well y'know. For almost losing someone who helped you. Again. All because of us”
“Not your fault. I acted out, deflected. As much as I want to say it is so I have something to yell at because I feel guilty or just angry....it's not. None of it. You were right when it isn't just about you. You have family and you want them out. Just like I mentioned earlier. I have a sister and I thought for a while she was back there but she wasn't, and yours all are and I...I can see why it'd affect you like that. Just don't make me say any of it again. I want to get to know you guys properly without trying to yell at you. Dirk would probably like it if we all at least tried to get along” Todd tested the waters of this tentative friendship choosing to go for honesty right then. Making friends with people he barely knew, Dirk's influence was rubbing off on him. Don just smiled lightly at him.
“Oh there was another reason I came over. Adil deserves his credit, clearly he learned something in the time between Sheffield and Oxbridge. He's asking if there's anyone else in your circle who we could also ask for help?”
“You want to ask for help. All of you?”
“Yes. We are a capable lot and can fix many problems but I think we're going to need more than just us. We need to make sure he tries to bargain before we do. Us history boys don't bargain”
'Oh my god Farah!”
“Excuse me?”
“Farah hasn't been told about any of this since I told here we met you. God I'm such an ass. Oh god, I don't even want to know what'll happen after I tell her. Just as a short by the by for future reference, she might actually kill me for not alerting her. About any of this. Tell Dirk I went willingly. Remember me like you barely knew me”
“Ye sure you don't want to be part of our honorary Cutler group?...You certainly have the over-dramatics for it” Scripps voice travelled across as Lockwood yelled back having heard the end of their conversation 'I'm not over-dramatic!' leaving both to snigger like school children sequestered in the corner over an inside joke.
“So you need to ring Farah, and um when we were originally asking about getting help, we were kind of hoping maybe you also knew any of the other Blackwing people who might want to grab Dirk back and help without us getting in the way and chucked in there soon as one of them spots us. Think you and him might appreciate that fact”
“Trust me, I'm for anything that involves all of us getting away safely. I think I know some guys who also might actually kill me just as much for ignoring them for a while, but um, they're a little different”
“I don't know if you've watched or met us lately but we can deal with different”
“Trust me, you don't know different until you meet them”
“I'm sure we'll be able to handle it”
“No, you're not getting it. They're more than different. Different to how Dirk is. They're....Rowdy”
Chapter 18
Notes:
Happy New Year guys! Hope 2019 is kind to you <3
I really did think this was going to be a shorter story and a shorter chapter. Why was I proved so wrong? Thanks for all the comments and kudos, they're really appreciated <3.
Chapter Text
The room was still the same, the sights and smells were still the same, the exercises were still the same, the meals were still the same, Everything was still the same. Except;
One – Francis wasn't here any more, safely tucked anyway in Wendimoor finally getting to live out the childhood he should have had in the first place.
And two – Bart nor the Rowdy Three were in here either. Dirk should know because he had scoured the entire place when he'd stamped on one of the lab techs feet running round each room willing to find some semblance of the outside world to hang onto, alas nothing. Which could either be construed as highly suspicious or oddly comforting. The two other 'projects' that had surrounded him since his younger years, now didn't exist.
He sort of missed them.
His next thought was that being weird. He never thought he'd be missing Bart.
Dirk honestly wished he knew what to make of being back in Blackwing for the third (and praying that it was finally the last, everything coming in threes or whatever the boys used to say) whilst understanding exactly why he threw himself back in so avidly. He hoped the seven of them were okay. That Todd would forgive him somehow. Eventually. He couldn't just let his first found family be shoved into boxes and things like this. Not after all he'd done to try and prevent it. Cambridge had burnt him, this life would not. He'd not let the boys down. He just couldn't. Dirk knew how Blackwing worked. He knew how the boys worked. That gave him the advantage.
Despite how cleverly the seven would have walked and talked the best of games, Blackwing would have crushed them. Hurt them in ways Dirk would understand so easily. The ways in which Dirk hoped no one should ever have had to understand.
They were his boys. His very best friends. The people who'd dragged him into what he felt he had always been the missing puzzle piece, celebrating every bit of his personality and consoling when something went wrong. Remembering each play he'd gone to, each recital they'd all popped up to witness, and all the lessons they'd learned both in and out of classrooms along the way. How they'd all banded closer after the accident taking turns in watching over Dakin and in turn himself when Cambridge took it's dive as much as he had wished to forget so. He couldn't let them down. So long as they didn't let him down. So far they hadn't but there was always something in his brain ready to tell him so. Or just Riggins words were seeping in when there was nothing else to counteract it.
Where was that bastard anyway? Just taking off after inviting Dirk back to a lovely spot of afternoon torture. Fucking nuisance prick of a Blackwing operative. The wishing for Riggins meeting with the former Oxbridge students after they all got out of this without his magic past drawing thing would be a rather angelic sight to see, and is what kept him subsequently losing the grip he held onto so tightly to his universe once more.
Dirk slapped his wrist in response to his brain overthinking which is of course when someone entered into his dully lit room with a weapon pointed at him as Dirk rolled his eyes. As if they thought a gun would surely stop him wondering out through the two exits he couldn't get to because they were on the other side of the building where coincidentally all the military/lab personal lived.
“You moving or what? I don't want to have to jab this at you but I will”
“Well isn't that extra kind of you?”
“Well move then! I haven't got all day”
“What you mean you have to do other things other than wave *that* at me”
“Yeah. And I will shoot if you don't move. I don't want to, but I will”
“Wonderful. I'm guessing it's in your robot instruction manual to do so” Dirk said as he started to exit out of the room. There had been no other comments from the man beside him. Until they hit a door that something – quite possibly the universe and a smattering of his own curiosity - wanted him to explore.
“Get in then? Something's clearly telling you to if your hand on the doorknob is anything to go by. Pfft and you say you lot aren't psychic”
Dirk scoffed as he finally opened the door noting the man with the gun had finally disappeared. Good riddance he thought as he stepped in, he noted they'd all fled from the door in fright of what the person in front of it was going to bring.
Hearing nothing but silence, he moved further in hearing everyone move further back. One of them hitting the wall if the 'ouch' was anything to go by.
“Listen, in spite of whatever you happen to be thinking, I'm not here to hurt you”
“Posner? David?” came an all too familiar voice. He glanced at Thomas Irwin looking so incredibly defeated. The rest inquisitive as they fought to get answers.
“As in Adil's friend?”
Seeing no point in arguing that his name had changed, he stuck to the name David, only feeling the tiniest bit weird. After all he'd gotten used to hearing it back in the warehouse. The universe finally seeming to shift in happier directions, even for the hell scape they were currently existing in. Dirk had done it without even doing it smiling in the way Todd would tell him not to. He'd found Irwin, and the boy's partners. He could look after the people he was supposed to, let them know they weren't alone and help was coming as soon as possible. It hadn't just been the boys he'd wanted to protect after all.
“David?”
“Yes. It's me. And I'm going or rather we're going to get you out of here. It might take a little while but it will happen”
“Who's we?”
“I didn't just magically forget the boys I spent A-Levels with. They tend to make a mark in your brain. Very hard to get rid of even if you try”
“Well you certainly sound like what the boys told us you'd be like if we ever did happen to run into. You saw my Adil though? You saw the boys again? I'd have paid good money to see that”
“Yes, Jade right? Yes he's fine, perfectly safe with the rest of the boys far away from here”
“They went all funny without you. When you left. I mean they got by after a year or so but you were never far from their thoughts. Still aren't”
“Terribly sorry but we haven't introduced, you are?”
“Casey. I'm Chris's girlfriend. That's Jade, and this is Simone who's Anthony's girl. Just us in here so far. Don't think any of the other boys have partners, be surprised if so”
“Fantastic. I'm thrilled I can finally put names to faces. I...this might be hard to explain”
“Well it appears as if we have more than needed. I'm sure you can fill us in” Casey spoke up once more.
“I'd appreciate that actually. You don't seem the Posner I used to teach. I'd like to know just as much. Considering the circumstances”
“That's...quite a story”
“Yes, well”
“So if you've been here before, why are you back here? And why did you just so easily give into telling us if you were that afraid of being chased down by them” Simone questioned.
“I...it happened to be easier than someone else giving themselves up for something I had already gone through earlier. I was fucked already. I think that's more than enough boxes ticked”
“Right. So now you're here with us? Doing what precisely?” Casey prodded him in the leg as she spoke.
“I made a promise. No more letting people simply run around getting involved in things which they have no purpose of being so. You matter to they boys which means you matter to me. Blackwing can injure people but they can kill you just as much in a variety of many ways. Most of them through the heart!”
“You mean that the boys made you promise. You've ditched them before. What's to say it wouldn't happen again?” Jade asked raising her voice a little higher daring for him to provide a good answer.
“No, I meant what I said. In the same exact way I told you, sir, that I didn't want you to pass. They had no part in my decision apart from the fact I didn't want them to be involved in any of this. They never should have been. Blackwing brought me to Sheffield to the boys and the universe and other things took me away from them. Trust me, just like I mentioned earlier, being away was a much better solution for all concerned. Why are you 20 questioning me anyway?”
“I can't have him hurt again. I just can't” Jade responded near to tears for the second time that day.
“You weren't there to see the aftermath of it all. You just swanned off. Maybe with the best of intentions and I can see why you would feel this way after what you must have gone through but they....sometimes we weren't sure if they were going to go off the rails. At any point because sometimes I'd go round and they'd either be tearing their hair out along with their hearts or just discussing how you'd be these days in such hushed tones, I thought they'd be talking about the accident. The boys...you know what they're like. They don't want to admit anything that shows they have feelings. Not ones that they can sum up with a quote or some other fancy sentence that whooshes over my 'ead”
“Has anyone ever told you Simone, or in actual fact the three of you, that you are quite scary”
All three girls to what have must been the shock of Irwin, managed to smile. Dirk able to smile back. The first thing Blackwing had taken had been that.
“Trust me, I got the whole interrogation when they bumped into me. I know exactly how they felt and we've come to a certain understanding in where I don't do it again or I'll have Don's glare foisted on me”
“What's to say you won't. Seeing as you left already. As far as I remember you were never one for following certain things when you felt as if you shouldn't”
“I...the universe I'm sure is allowing it. If when I left, I was really supposed to leave all this behind, it would never have allowed me to see them from that point on. They'd just have been footnotes. Don't think anything other. Never leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next. Trust me, after this, after seeing how they coped without me and how lost we all became, and how much I kept myself away from them when I now know I don't have to, I won't be walking away. It can be hard to understand us but when we can't find the right words ourselves, we switch to someone else's. I find it works out just the same. Perhaps even better"
“Whose words were those then?”
“Dean Koontz. After I got myself back on solid ground, I studied more than what Mr Hector gave us. Found the ways in which kept me tied to David without having to keep being such a version of myself, kept me feeling safer. Still does in fact. You can convince yourselves whether what I say happens to be true or not, but you do not have to. I made my choice a long time ago, I've paid the price for it sometimes more than often although if I'd think if the opportunity arose again, I'd still take the same route”
Two weeks had passed since Dirk had been pulled into this badly lit on purpose room. Two weeks since he'd reacquainted with Irwin and met the girls. More than two since he'd freely given up himself to Blackwing. Tests, electrocutions, paint splattered in faces and a whole host of darker things Dirk couldn't even begin to explain to the small group happening day by day. Two weeks since he knew he had to become the glue to stick them all together keeping promises tied up without breaking. Two weeks being the only calming measurement when none of them could speak either too tired or too far away for what they'd gone through with the daily routine. Always keeping the boys in his thoughts that they were safe, they were alive and they were certainly looking for ways to break in and rescue them all. Despite the other's faith starting to wane – and as much as he wanted to say they were silly for giving up so easily, he couldn't fault them for it. First timers he supposed – he still stood fast.
They were going to get out of here. Todd hadn't let him down even when he could become a bit shouty or confusing. Nor would the seven once angsty teens to what he supposed were now the same angsty adults.
“So how long do you think we'll be stuck in here doing nothing and everything? Think I must be going barmy - to use a phrase of your friends - every time I even attempt to draw another line on the wall”
“Hard to say. Everything tends to blur into one about a week or so once you're thrown back in. What happened to you sir? I must admit I haven't really kept up with you”
“Through no fault of your own I imagine?”
“I...sorry sir”
“Yes, well I suppose there's no room left for apologies in you. I suspect you've encountered enough of them”
“There happened to be no point really keeping up with you to be quite frank. Not after I left those years behind me. Actually, you left before I even got the chance to say goodbye”
“It was for the best when I did. No point having someone keep you connected to such a tragic case of events”
“Sir-”
“Oh enough of the sir's already. You're grown up enough, and I'm feeling far too old for hearing it. Just call me Tom”
“I think you'll always be sir, sir”
“Well in any case, depending on which way I get taken out, I'd rather be referred to as my first name and not some ideal of who I once happened to be. Especially since the only time I ever hear it, it's either for answers I surely do not have or because I'm not hearing it. I'll go mad I think otherwise. I've been working in TV. Historian. Don't pretend you haven't at least seen one. They still have TV's in America, and the internet for a fact. You were very bright. Still are in fact. A little condescending but that clearly still hasn't changed”
Dirk grimaced a little sitting cross legged next to him now. Irwin couldn't move as much as the rest of them, his wheelchair only being brought out when they wanted to send him out the room on tests (which now that Dirk had been thrown in here, had been fairly less, always willing to take it on instead even if it meant added nightmares). The girls having been taken out of their room - cell - five minutes ago, the lab tech having pushed Dirk away to stop him revolting against them. Irwin watching on in fascination at his old student. David had surely acted and sounded miles different from how he was being now.
“You won't be”
“Won't be what?”
“Taken out. That's now this works”
Irwin stopped talking. A beat passed until he piped up again.
“I'm sorry”
“Excuse me sir?”
“Christ David, how many times will I have to get it into you. It's Tom. I meant....I'm sorry. That you had to go through this. I..it can't have been easy on you”
“It was what it was. In any case, thanks to Blackwing's first attempts at outside meddling I got seven very wonderful friendships who seemed to care and love me as much as my own family once did, and thankfully still do. Despite how I clearly hurt them. And I got Todd and Farah...oh and Amanda, she's absolutely fantastic! I have to introduce you to her! Oh and I suppose if I have to I can say The Rowdy Three are always around to make sure I'm eating or sleeping although I can't really see you getting that much acquainted with them, they're something of an enigma at the best of times depending on how hungry or smashy they want to be, and I guess at a very, very big stretch Bart would pop up if needed. I wouldn't advise you going near her however if you can, let's not end up seeing if the universe thinks you should be ended in one of the most horrific ways. I mean I don't think so, but let's not chance it all the same See, through something horrific, I gained many better things!”
“It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of that David”
“Look, either you're going to make out of here or you're going to lose something of yourself. I know this is quite frankly terrifying and all other matters of the word however speaking as a graduate of both Cambridge and here, you need to find something to hang onto so that you don't go completely insane, so you don't lose the most vital parts of yourself otherwise you're left just scarping the barrels trying to find something that once was but never will be again! For me, it's seeing my friends who I thought I'd never ever have which somehow still include the most ridiculous being that is Stuart Dakin and going back to the agency which I thought I would never ever own”
“You sound so sure” Irwin's voice breaking halfway through.
Dirk never had to respond as the girls were tossed back in like rag dolls all of their arms bruised and some of them bloody.
“Before any of you say any bloody thing, I'd rather just go to sleep and not wake up for two days. Maybe we won't be in here any more. I don't even want to think about how you did this as a teen”
“It's quite alright, Casey. It seems as if it's coming up to that time anyhow. I think we'd better all just get some rest”
“No seriously David, you've done this for what must now be three times, and it's coming up to a month we've potentially been...not experimented on but close enough towards it, and you've had much worse done to you even if you don't want to disclose it to us, I just want to know. How? How do you just keep on going when all you want to do is scream or fight back or...I think I'm losing every piece of me that's strong, and I wish I knew how to get it back. I can't keep on going if I lose that”
“Practise. Jade. You are strong. Every day you come back here after having gone out, you've won. I've done more than my fair share of back-chatting. Don't focus too much on being strong, just on what tomorrow has to share. Just like I told sir, the boys and Todd and Farah are drawing up battle plans as we speak”
“It's nice to see such faith, but I must admit mines running out. I just hope Anthony knows I really do love him. Y'know I know we've only been dating for two years or so, but I really thought it was going to last. Got a ring and everything to hand over. Suppose it might not happen now”
“Chris thought of proposing to me, but then said what on earth would we do with a ring on our fingers? We'd probably pretend we were married to different people even if we were at the same party together. Laugh our heads off about it afterwards as they tried to really guess if we were together. What about you Tom? You never said if you had anyone”
“No. I'm what's commonly known as the bachelor. There's not been anyone for a long time. Misery loves company or something else exactly along those lines”
“You've got to be kidding me sir”
“No Pos. You wouldn't think the chair would scare people off...”
“I thought you were going to stay something else”
“What? Something like I'm still infatuated with Dakin”
Dirk scoffed as he then lifted his hand up to the tight Blackwing jumpsuit he'd been shoved back into and tried to get in some air to his neck as it had been getting quite hot.
“It's a fair question to ask. It was bound to pop sooner rather than later”
“Stuart was getting quite concerned if that's something you wanted answering. I had to calm him down from roaming the streets looking for you”
“I do not need a wingman, thank you Posner”
“I'm just saying!”
“Pos. It's incredibly sweet you want to look out for me and help me in I'm sure the very best of ways, but really you do not have to. Anyways I remember someone else who vied for his attentions just as much”
“Completely a mistake on my part. I'm not saying date him, I'm saying it'd be nice if you became friends. Like us! We're friends now!”
“Oh are we?”
“Well you're all labelled as Blackwing and the motto between the projects is that we have to look out for each other in any case but we've spent enough time and past to fairly nice times together in the present that I'd label us so. Wouldn't you?”
“Very well David”
“I know you're only saying that to spare my feelings worrying you're going to hurt me by saying so, but you can't escape it. We're friends now sir...uh....Tom”
“I've changed my mind. Maybe it's better we all go crazy”
Chapter Text
Since their talk happened, now approaching three weeks since Dirk had been taken by the complete tit that had been Colonel Scott Riggins, things had mellowed between the Sheffield boys and Todd. With each week passing, Todd found himself getting more ingrained into their Cutlers group. He hadn't been able to escape it, what with the boys crowding his space wanting to know and hear more about who Dirk was and what his job entitled now. They'd even started to ask more about the American's own life and how he'd come to work for 'David'. Todd's insecurities lessening each day he had new info on Dirk's Cutlers life and how much they appreciated Todd being there for their friend when things had taken that downward turn after uni. He could appreciate them that little bit more.
Todd coming to his own scary conclusion that when all this was over, maybe he wouldn't mind keeping them around. Especially when he'd had one of his pararibulitis attacks and they'd freaked not knowing what to do and had scrambled for his phone ringing Farah who'd told them to calm down and just administer the medication and just for God's sake give him room until he felt better. Jimmy yelling how were they supposed to calm down when their mate was screaming at nothing in front of them looking bloody terrified!
The fact they really cared about what happened to him mattered. The fact that he seemed to be cared for as much as Dirk was in this weird small ass group in such a short span of time. The fact they were calling each other friends giving way to a twinge in his gut. He knew he'd had difficulty making friends throughout life, even when he'd been part of the band inviting him everywhere when they thought they were going to last forever. Dirk had been the only one he felt vaguely comfortable around since. Well, besides his sister which then slowly extended to Farah, and now apparently extended to them.
“Budge up then”
“I thought you were going out and leaving me to and I quote 'wallow' Scripps?”
“Well we were and then all of a sudden the chaps thought it'd be best if we stayed and waited for your mystical friends to appear since today is the magical day”
“I wouldn't call them friends”
“What would ye then?”
“Well maybe they are. Like I said, they're Blackwing and that means something to Dirk. To them as just as much I imagine. They've helped us out once or twice, and I'm sure they'll do anything to do it again and stick another one up to Blackwing. It's just.... I'm wondering if my sister will be with them or whether it'll just be Farah. I don't want her involved in this any more than she already is but she has this whole like saving the world destiny thing going for her and Dirk is somehow one of her best friends so”
Don nodded to show he was still listening on the now ratty sofa they were sharing, both with their knees up to their chest.
“So it's a possibility she's on her way as much as anyone else?”
“Yeah. When I rang Farah she said they both wanted to meet the people Dirk had kept quiet about. The Rowdy Three were obviously driving them all if the headache I gained from the music was anything to go by. God I don't even want to think about how the Three will react to you all”
“So long as it ends up with David out of there, I don't mind who helps. Y'know you will have to tell me exactly what these Rowdies do to have them wind up in Blackwing as well, I just can't believe that after all these years I get my best mate back only for me to lose him almost instantly. Dunno which is worse, me thinking for all those years he was quite possibly dead in a ditch somewhere or knowing exactly why he upped and left on us, how I can understand why he was like he was on really bad days at school, and now being back in for something that just makes him, him! I just want to be able to hug him, tell him he's a berk and...”
“I get it”
Silence reigned over. Todd really did get it. There was no need for any more words. Just wishes for their best friend to come back out from the shadows.
“Y'know I was only staying here because you said they'd be popping up. It's five in the afternoon! Are they actually coming or are we to be met with another fun filled day of nothing. Could have gone and got cakes from the shop for all of us, not any fancy stuff but Mrs Hop's. Bet she'd love to see some of her favourite customers again” Lockwood asked.
“That and the fact you used to tip her extra when you saw she wasn't doing too good” Timms responded.
“Weren't just me who put tips in the jar. Don't deny it, her cakes were and still are delicious”
“Maybe you could actually use the device you have in your hand Toddo and ring to see how far away they are? After all it's what they were invented for” Chris chuckled.
“Oh like I hadn't thought of that? Swear you only exist to remind me of things I've already thought of. You good Dakin?” Todd shot back in good humour fairly used to how they were since being holed up while also noting Stuart had gone into his own little world for the fifth time that day.
“What? Yeah. Fine”
“One word sentences from Stuart Dakin, whatever is the world coming to? Is the end of the world nigh? The over speaker all of a sudden piping down? Come on Wordsworth, here is your stage, it is set! Proceed!”
“Shut it Timms!”
“Seriously though you good?”
“I am fine. Todd but do you what would me feel even better? If everyone stopped assuming I'm so cut up into bits about people not in this room!”
“Don't bite his head off Stu, he's only asking a question” Akthar nodded back to Todd as he lay on the floor flipping off Dakin as he said so. Dakin responded by folding his arms into his chest as a protective shield.
“Ey up lads, here comes the aforementioned trouble” Rudge commented on where he sat right next to Adil.
As soon as he had finished speaking, a woman came into view striding purposefully towards them closely followed by four men in varying shades of black clothing and to their horror also carrying large cricket bats with spikes and nails in it which they thankfully set down at the doorway.
Todd had approached them looking behind the new group for someone when the new person spoke. The rest of the boys standing up to greet the newcomers.
“She's not with us Todd. I told her not to come. I may have fought her on it. However seeing as we are entering into Blackwing, I'd rather have less of us in there as possible. We booked a hotel, she's staying in there for now along with the...rainbow monster. They're keeping each other company. If we need extra people, I will call her but we discussed this already. I'm just keeping you updated and now it's your turn. Update me”
“You have no idea how glad I am to see you Farah”
This stopped Farah in her tracks as she tried to struggle through her own emotions. She was happy to see her friend just as much. In the end she settled for a squeeze on his shoulder and spinning round to face the rest of the Sheffield lot. The Rowdies waiting for her orders.
“Introduce us”
Todd waved his hand across smirking as he spoke.
“These are Dirk's friends from that secret second life he was hiding from us, Dirk's friends, these are also Dirk's friends only they actually know who Dirk is”
“Hilarious mate” Rudge spouted sarcastically as Martin then stared at him until he got fairly uncomfortable.
Farah pinched the bridge of her nose sighing as she realised it was starting already. Whatever 'it' happened to be.
“Farah. Farah Black. This is the Rowdy Three”
“But there's four of them. I don't know if you have ever had any problems counting but four people does not make three” Dakin countered.
Todd's turn to sigh. This could take a while.
“This here's Gripps, Cross and Vogle. I'm Martin. Heard Icarus got into some bother with all of you”
“You're the second person to use that phrase, and I thought you'd already been briefed on all of this”
“Got a name?”
“ Adil. Akthar. This Riggins bloke, he called him that. Now you. Only you seem to be using it as a more affectionate term”
“Icarus is our guy man! Boss man would have done the same for us if this was the other way round!”
“Great. Now we've all met. I want you to do what you've been avoiding me on. Update me”
Scripps stepped forward sensing the exhaustion and most likely need for quiet from both Todd and Farah.
“I suppose you'll just be repeating what we all know? I can drag the rest of us lot away if you just need to speak to Farah here or I can give you a quiet coffee shop to go to. It's just on your left round the corner, a lovely if sickening shade of green door. We can keep ourselves entertained, might as well put some of the nonsense we learned from Mr Hector's lessons to good use wasting away recalling the ends to all films for this lot. At least time we won't be losing money from it”
Farah stepped back herself looking grateful if uncertain and slightly confused about the ending of his sentence. She waited a few minutes to draw up a proper response thinking about where it would be easier to be briefed on by Todd.
“That would be useful, thank you. I appreciate it. Todd, let's go. We will be back in half an hour tops. Do not answer the door to anyone else except us, if someone tries to come in let the Rowdies handle it. Otherwise do not let the Rowdies move from here. Do not do anything without consulting us first”
“Sure. We can get to know the ever talkative men over there”
Both Todd and Farah seemed to huff a laugh at that as they left the warehouse. Both stepping in time with each other as they did.
“First thing I'm going to do when we see Pos again is thwack him for making us worry like this. Again. I swear first thing and he'll just have to live with it with any and all of my 'you left us so I can say whatever I want so don't give me that face' jokes I can crack out” Lockwood flopped down onto the floor as he struck up a new conversation.
“First thing I'm going to do is buy him a drink. He'll clearly need it” Crowther laughed as the rest continued to sit down as well.
“My go is it? I guess I'd give him a ticket to one of our matches” Rudge confirmed as everyone around him groaned.
“Of fucking course that's what you'd pick”
“And Anthony? If I remember he happily attended what we all enjoyed, mine just happened to be footy related. Don't think he'd appreciate coming round to a building site, 'e could be catastrophically clumsy whenever we weren't expecting it”
“I hope he'll be alright when he comes back. Don't want to think about how much he's suffering because of us, because of that bastard, because of that place”
“Oh Donald, not again”
“I am allowed to worry. Just like the rest of you”
“You overdo it. In the most spectacular or ways. Half the times David wasn't staring at me when I was being my charming beautiful self, I could have sworn he was staring at you, mooning over how protective you were”
The Rowdies having been quietly listening in now chose this moment to enter into the conversation. Martin taking the lead curious about what life Icarus had been leading with these...interesting people. They'd all gotten some of the low down from Farah but not all.
“Take it you're talking bout the boy”
“Who, David?”
“Thought he was called Dirk” Gripp's voice filtered through.
“He is”
“So what's the deal?” Cross questioned before anyone else could get to it.
“When we met him, he went by David Posner. Hasn't asked us to stop calling him that and call him Dirk so we haven't. If he wanted us to, I'm sure we would. Won't until he says. Went to school with him. And uni. Idiot ran away from us after his stint in prison and only just came back to us. Meaning we've only just heard about this holistic crap and the bullshit he went through so don't get on our case about how we could have prevented what's happening right now before you say anything else. Can we know exactly why you were thrown in Blackwing and why Todd wanted you. I mean it was our idea to get help from someone Blackwing like, well Scripps's, but you get my point surely?” Lockwood bit out.
“I don't like your attitude. Maybe you explain why I should answer your questions boy”
The boys all stole a glance at each other and managed to laugh loudly as one confusing the four other men.
“What's so funny, why are you laughing?”
Adil recovered first showing tears in his eyes.
“Sorry Gripps, it's just....David....he'd ask questions like Jimmy would just then, always wanting to know answers...always investigating in myriads of ways. Sometimes he'd get so in your face with it. Could respond exactly how you did when cornered Martin. Used to yell at you if you suddenly decided not to listen or said something so catastrophically stupid. Though how no one could be as bad as Stuart is a miracle”
“What is it with the still constant assaults on my character? I'm perfectly fine and stable, and unlike Pos, actually here. Remind me, who had the breakdown at Cambridge?
The Rowdies were about to raise hell as they'd been informed about said breakdown and Farah's insistence to not bring it up ever because Todd said he'd looked even more lost than when they'd been in Wendimoor, when they were stopped by a shove to Dakin's shoulder who clicked his teeth at who it was subtlety calling him a mother hen again in his head. The four witnessing the quiet change amongst the group.
“Don't antagonise them. After all they've come to help. Let's not scare them off”
“I wouldn't be the one scaring them off”
“Of course. How else could I think differently”
The peaceful quiet came back. Until Lockwood slapped Don's shoulder and Akthar flicked his thigh.
“What?!”
“I can hear you thinking, it's annoying me”
“Oh I'm so sorry my worrying about David and our friend's significant others is bothering you”
“He's fine”
“But what if he isn't!”
“God, here we go. Donald. Stop worrying about things you can't take control of. Stop trying to guilt yourself into thinking you could have done more”
“I am not putting guilt on myself”
“Could have fooled me. You and your Godly ways after all. Isn't guilt what your lot do so spectacularly?”
“This isn't funny Stu”
“I know it's not. Moreover Scripps, you did this after Cambridge and some of the years after, you can't let David keep controlling your thoughts and actions. A thought or two fine. Ring up his number when you know you're not going to get an answer, also fine. We get you were some of the closest out of us however you need to keep a lid on it until we actually have a solid plan otherwise you're stressing out for no reason and as for keeping the most relaxed out of us all in any scenario, you are certainly doing a bang up job of proving you're the worst at it right now. Posner is going to get through this and not do anything stupid because we'll have got to him first and it'll be one big happy reunion and then you can get his new number and go back to all your lovey dovey over-dramatic overprotective ways”
“It's been longer than I thought it'd be to get him out, and I can't keep thinking about what's being done to him! What if he just decides to up and leave all over again because he can't handle what's happened to him for the third time and because of us! What if he just leaves without a note because someone else finds him first?! What if something does actually kill him in there?”
“Christ, calm the fuck down Donald! How many times? This isn't going to be like Cambridge, Jesus! We've already had one mental breakdown in this group, we certainly do not have room for another!”
Martin skimmed over the freaking out journalist as the rest of the Sheffield bunch waited for the man to come back to solid ground obviously having been subjected to this once or twice already if the words were anything to go by and motioned for his boys to sit down on the floor next to them all. Combed hair boy was right but the freaking out one needed to hear from someone who'd been in there. The proof in surviving was in front of him.
“Should listen to your boys. Icarus is resilient. Boy'll be fine. He comes back to those who care for him even if they don't back. We're going to start drawing up plans better than the ones you have here and get to him 'fore any bad shit happens. All your partners too. No need to worry. If you start thinking like that, you're gonna have more than enough trouble. Don't let Blackwing or anything to do with it inside ya head or they'll stay there, letting it hollow your heart” Martin hesitated for a minute then continued on speaking.
“Psychic vampires”
“Okay psychic vampires. That makes sense”
“Good thing we ate before we came, ain't that right boys?! See your emotions, those energies you're giving off, they're sorta like gourmet on wheels for us. That's why we were in there. That's why we're getting your boy outta there. It ain't no good place for someone to grow. He ain't gonna die, Blackwing won't let him. It's the internal part you got to watch out for”
The boy seemed to be calming down as he listened intently. All of the Cutler boys smiling gratefully.
“Been there. Once David returned to Cambridge from the police, he got shoved into my dorm. Felt so undeniably pissed off with him throwing all these opportunities away. Left in the night. Nor had he answered any of my questions even though something had been up with him since the accident. I didn't want to force it out of him either. Woke the next morning to a note saying he couldn't run from himself but he could from us as some form of protection. Signed it off as if he was signing off a life sentence. I've been thinking this has all been some sort of dream seeing me best mate after everything he went through and now I'm left to understand there's been more than I've ever seen. To know we're part of what's pushed him back there even if we knew that happened to be the best option out of the worst....it doesn't help. Or the fact that Simone, Casey and Jade are stuck in their with our old teacher either. That's only knowing the bare essentials. Can't imagine how Todd is. God I just want this waiting to be over. I want all of this to be over! I hate feeling like I can't grasp control of any of this. I don't even know how you're coping so easily Stu!”
“Pos followed me out into the street and gave me a talking to. Thought it'd work better in the long run if I tried to ring Irwin and warn him or something. David said not to do so and could you imagine I actually listened. S'pose it helped a bit. He's got wise somehow which is why you should listen to the scary three over there. Also don't you remember what you used to quote at David half the time he had a problem or was working himself up towards another panic attack. Think it might refer to you right now”
“It'll pass?”
“Well that too. Not what I was referring to”
“The only other thing I can think of is....oh....thanks Stuart” Don's gaze went down to the floor looking sheepish.
“Knew you'd get there eventually”
Vogle bounced a little from where he sat taking in how the revelation had calmed down Scripps and how the friends also started to have lights back in each of their eyes.
“What was it?”
“A quote, a very cheesy quote because that's our Scripps for you” Lockwood giggled.
“You want to tell us?” Cross queried
Scripps took a breath in and out as he looked the young Rowdy in his eyes answering.
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'. It's from Mary Anne Redmacher. David's always been a tough person, and very courageous considering what he went through in Blackwing, although I was at the time referring to being out in Sheffield in the 80's and still managing to get through school with his panic attacks and a bunch of other things. He could doubt it often. Used to help pull him back from whatever spiral he would be going down at the time. He could be brilliant at his best and volatile with melancholy at his worst"
“Icarus ain't changed much then”
Todd walked back in with extra coffee and pastries taking in the less hectic air around them. Farah coming to stand in front of them all noting that the Rowdy Three were dozing in the corner as the rest chatted a bit further away in quieter tones. She watched each interaction carefully.
“Hey, here take these from me before I manage to burn my hand off and I sue you”
“No way? Are these what I think they are? Don't tell me you actually went and got these?” Chris sat up taking the treat off of Todd's hands.
“I had some to kill. You're welcome. Apparently when I mentioned your name, she gave me half off and said she hoped you could all visit soon, her daughter Cathy is running the main parts of it now but Mrs Hops was still watching over her to make sure she was getting everything right, sorta like how I'm babysitting you guys right now”
“Hope you tipped her”
“Yes I did Jimmy. If I hadn't, I'd have had to listen to your comments about local business being shunned by corporate greed or whatever. Anyways enjoy”
“So how'd you come to work for David, Ms Black?”
“Farah, please. I placed myself in security. I decided to work with Dirk afterwards. I don't think we should talk any more apart from what we need to get done. Let's not waste any more time because we all want Dirk and your families back sooner rather than later. I don't want them to linger in there any longer than needed. Blackwing is not what I want to keep coming back to either. So after this we will not talk of the place because I can't keep hearing about it, associating myself to it. Todd and I have worked out a plan but we need to know we have your full attention because I cannot lose people on my watch and I need to know you'll listen because people not listening is not what I can afford. At any time. The Rowdies are going to have more involvement seeing as you have not done any of this ever, I will need one of you to assist us in locating Dirk, but for the most part, you will be helping in locating. Nothing more, trust me on that”
“We do. We'll do anything to get him back, trust us. Your plan then, give it to us. Where do we start?"
Chapter 20
Notes:
I can't write action, or at least not very well. I think we're also starting to edge ever closer to the end so strap yourself in folks! Also the ending half of this chapter gave me such satisfaction to write, I had a great time.
*Edit* (I ended up editing a line out as when I read back, I realised I actually didn't like it and it didn't actually flow, I actually know people might not notice, but it definitely bugged me!)
Chapter Text
Dirk took in his surroundings as he and Irwin were taken out of the room and shoved into the exercise one. Dirk staring quizzically at the bikes knowing full well Irwin wasn't going to be able to operate one.
“Both of you get on with it then. Don't have all day” The lab chuckled as if sharing an inside joke with himself.
“I think you'll find that one of us can't physically operate this?”
“He can use his arms then, can't he smart arse? Why do you think his is closer to the ground? Start before I drag someone else in here to make you”
With that he upped and left locking the door leaving the two attached to wires measuring their heart rates and alone. After half an hour or so, Irwin spoke up, his voice dripping tiredness.
“Really don't know you did this for so long Posner. Feel like I'm moving even less than I did when I had my wheelchair”
“You get used to it. I suppose I should have realised Blackwing literally doesn't care if you're abled or not, they'll literally find a way to force you to do it somehow. I wasn't lying though. You spend here long enough, you do get fairly used to the comings and goings....and the monotony of it all. I'm sure you'll come to thinking the same. Sometimes I even did the tasks and all other sorts of things they set out of sheer and complete utter boredom. I mean just think about that for a minute Tom”
Even if his comment hadn't been exactly funny, Irwin laughed until he cried.
“Everyone ready? Do I need to go over anything, if I need to go over anything, tell me now or say I understand Farah, I completely definitely understand. Remember to act like you belong there, like you are belonging to this and hopefully we all come out with a good outcome”
“Farah we've got this. We know what we have to do and these guys look more ready then I think I've ever seen them be. Even when they jumped on Dirk that first time they saw him”
“Oi I take offence to that! I'll have you know that - “
“Now is not the time. We go on my signal”
Riggins had been being briefed by Wilson when the alarm made it's presence known. Wilson turned her nose up at it until it stopped, continuing on with their conversation.
“I thought we had fixed that. Seeing as Supervisor Adams thought it best to leave, I want assurance I can trust you to keep everyone in order. Nothing like last time. You're a good man Colonel Riggins and you have done a lot more for this place than certain others have done so before but you do have a record of being soft on some projects. I do not want that. Keep the people you brought back in here including Icarus and you can have your old position back for real”
“Yes ma'am”
The alarm started to ring for a second time, this time not stopping, both personnel getting irritable. Wilson pressed something on her desk prompting a person to walk into the room shutting the door behind them. All of them so focused on their conversation that none of them heard the click of the lock.
“Why is that ringing? I thought we had fixed it”
“I don't know ma'am but I will have it looked at”
“Good. See that you do it the minute you step out of this room. That's the break out alarm and I don't want it going off falsely. Too many 'clever' projects have managed to escape that way. You may leave. So as I was saying Colonel I....what are you still doing in here? I thought I asked you to leave us”
“Yes you did Miss but..I can't open the door. It's sealed shut. I think it's locked”
Wilson caught on almost immediately snarling at Riggins.
“I imagine if you want to get your job and keep it, you will need to get on top of this now”
“David? Psst David you in here?”
“You gonna wake up the entire place if you keep that up journo boy”
“How else am I going to find him Martin? Do you make up pet names for all your strays by the way?”
“Ain't a stray and also not the time. Can help, only gotta ask”
“I thought you had been? There's a reason Farah paired us together I thought"
“Can sniff him out, bonus to the vampire shit”
“Well then what have I been doing traversing half this place for no reason?”
“Thought it'd be fun to watch you sweat. See if you were anything like Icarus or not. You got good instincts kid. He's down this way. C'mon 'fore my boys get even rowdier without us”
“All these rooms look so depressingly similar, and I don't even want to talk about some of the other things I've seen, makes me want to break out more than just David. If I knew Farah wouldn't be bashing my head off at risking anything more than this, I'm sure we'd all be doing it”
“Here”
Martin managed to bash the lock with his fist and held his bat up above his shoulder ready to do battle. Scripps stepping in cautiously his face washing with relief when he saw David and Irwin looking exhausted.
“Anyone call for a rescue?”
“You took your time I must say”
“It's good to see you again sir”
“Yes, you too I believe but there's quite a man beside you and if this is really is a rescue, should we not be getting on with it?”
Martin growled as Dirk rolled his eyes at his actions.
“Told we gotta get more of you outta here so let's get you off the wires and get going!”
Farah kept her gun poised ready to shoot at anyone who came across her with the Rowdies travelling close behind her and Todd next to her. She'd left the rest of the boys back at the entrance to Blackwing so as to not bring too much attention to them, and told them they'd have a bigger part to play by looking after their partners, friend and old teacher. She'd only let Scripps go because she knew he wouldn't be able to keep still or anything likewise. She knew Dirk would appreciate sending Scripps in. They were just waiting on their signal.
So far they'd been able to slip past most of the guards even when the Rowdies had kicked up a small fight at not being with their usual leader but they'd calmed when he'd spoken something to them, making sure that their first goal was to get the people not supposed to be in Blackwing out of it.
They'd checked out twenty five rooms so far counting any cameras or floor detection that might give them all away, gun always ready.
Twenty sixth time lucky then she thought as she opened up the door watching the three sleeping girls tucked up together looking pale, sickly and frightened.
“We're here to rescue you, we're with Dirk...David. We're with David, okay? You can trust us. Right now you need to come with us so we can get you out of here. Gripps, Cross, Vogle, grab hold of each of them just in case they fall, and move out. Todd send the text through to the others. Let's get out of here!”
“Take Tom, he needs to get out of here faster than I need to. And see if you can find a wheelchair in the process while you're undoubtedly waiting for the rest of us to escape outside. And Martin if I don't get the chance to say so....thank you”
Martin nodded as he started to race a little faster out of the route they'd planned beforehand leaving Dirk and Don to make their own way out.
“This place is a travesty”
“Yes I can see how you'd think so”
“Sorry I couldn't get to you sooner”
“It's no trouble. Don I mean it. I had faith in you all. Nothing I hadn't been through before although I suspect Tom and the others are going to need some serious looking after especially when I said the universe would reward them if they just kept going”
“Yes I had wondered why you were calling him that”
“Nothing much to it Don. He told me to, imagine he'll say the same to you when he feels better”
“Wonderful"
"How did you get to America anyways?”
“Believe it or not we flew on an aeroplane, can still do normal things despite what you think now hush up so no one sees me hauling you out of here”
“I believe the phrase is...you failed”
Riggins and Wilson ended up in front of them, Don stepping in front of David as a shield. Wilson letting out a snigger or two.
“Oh you silly child. Do you really think that's going to stop us? That's not going to help protect him”
“Maybe not but the thought is what counts"
“Goodness, this one has bite to him. Very well. I will leave you to deal with this Colonel”
Riggins stepped forward getting with the intention of getting closer to Dirk while at the same time Don stepped further in front. Riggins seeing this swiftly reverting back to one of his old tactics.
“Dirk, do you not remember what I told you? You will get hurt or killed doing this. Blackwing is here to keep you safe. To keep your friends safe. So no one has to get hurt any more. Don't waste your talents like this, waste your life like this trying to escape for nothing. You can learn so much more about yourself here. Think about it, no universe telling you to go somewhere you don't want, no losing any friends you just gained, just living here peacefully. No more worries. This is in your best interests Dirk. It's best for all of us”
Dirk let out a guffaw as he side eyed Scripps. The group waiting for them would be getting antsy wondering where they were. They needed to get out of this rotten place as soon as they could. Riggins still watching the duo. Wilson's face contorting into something of annoyed confusion.
“I don't remember asking for your opinion. Dirk come back to us. Leave them and come back to us. It's what's best for us all, you don't want those friends of yours to face something else in the next few days do you?”
Dirk emboldened by having Scripps at his side and thinking of all the ways that his life had been improved by being out of Blackwing, how'd he gained more than he could ever have imagined, and how he knew those girls and Irwin were now hopefully safely outside it's parameters, he stepped out in front of his best friend and stood in front of the two who had held him captive both in mind and body facing them straight on and started to speak.
“No. I don't believe you. I think you're telling me what you've been feeding me for years. Lies”
“Dirk I have -”
“That sentence had better not end the way I think it will”
“Dirk - “
“No! No. It's my turn. It's my turn to speak and for Blackwing to listen. For once you actually have to listen to my screams and cries and pleadings! Blackwing has held control over me long enough!”
“Dirk you don't know what you're saying”
“'If I could be out in the 80's in stupid bloody Sheffield and get through the worst parts of Cambridge, I think I can stand up to you for five minutes. For once I am going to be listened to without worrying someone's going to tell me something horrible. You can't hurt me. I refuse to be hurt and haunted by you further or at least by your physical presence There's nothing I have left to hide. From anyone. Blackwing is always going to be in my nightmares, in my life and I'll never not be thinking about it. O-or suffering from it. I refuse to be defined by my mistakes any longer. Or by your actions. Your lies. I used to be so afraid of you because I knew you had the upper hand, knew the things I didn't want out but I know better. I was taught I deserve better a long time ago, I just never wanted to think it.
The universe has taken me all over but what you didn't count on was it bringing me back to seven boys. That I, or they even, wouldn't just cut and run from them because if the universe allowed me to see them again, that meant I was always meant to know them. To have them in my past, present and future, guilt free. Seven wonderful friends who taught me I didn't have to be what you made me for. You brought me to a place where you thought I would remain nothing but instead with help from people that loved me, I became everything. So with respect Colonel, I'll be taking my leave of you, and if you ever try to contact me or force me or any other part of my life back here, don't think I won't fight back”
Riggins and Wilson were for the first time rendered speechless.
“Oh and if you ever think about using that device or even mentioning the accident again, you won't be able to. If you take a look, I believe that it's been taken off of you and Don has put it in his hand while you've been distracted. We'll be destroying it as soon as we're out of here. If you'll excuse us, we'll now be taking our leave of you”
Scripps beamed proudly at his best friend as he walked past them waving happily. Dirk then turned back to face both Blackwing personnel.
“Oh forgot to say....I hope Blackwing in the words of my old History teacher becomes in time an abstract question. One no one will ever be able to have to query”
With that Dirk rushed back towards his first ever best (and now quite possibly one of his longest apologising to Todd in his head) friend and with a sense of renewed purpose walking straight out of the lab doors into the open air and daylight.
“You know we were about to leave you in there seeing as how you took your time getting out of there. Tell me we can finally get the ever loving fuck out of this place"
“Always a pleasure to see you Dakin truly. Where are the others?”
“Gone on ahead apparently. Well at least Irwin and the girls. Rowdies took them a bit further into the town over there, and all of a sudden they just disappeared. Thought the boys and I would wait a bit longer for the pair of you, make sure you still existed. Todd said he was just grabbing bandages and sorts with Farah, said they'd be back in a second”
“Oh speak of the devils and they shall appear. Hello Todd, hello Farah! Can I just say I did miss you both quite a bit and i'm extremely glad to see you again. Can we go yet though? I've had quite enough of America which is saying something considering how I very much enjoyed my twenties over here”
Todd instantly tackled Dirk into a hug who squeezed back just as tightly glad to see him and patting Farah's shoulders.
“It's good to see you too Dirk. I got in touch with Amanda whose waiting for us at the warehouse, she's looking forward to seeing us”
“Why would Amanda be at the warehouse when she was at the hotel? Unless...oh”
“That 'oh' speaks many things Pos” Adil said.
“Something tells me we're going to get our proof of holistic stuff lads, and may I just say finally and if it's anything less than I imagined I will be suing you somehow” Lockwood cheered.
“Anything that gets me back to Casey, I'm all for it”
Farah led them to where she'd led the Rowdies earlier and told them to brace for impact as she pushed each of them to the ground only for them to go through it and disappear.
All of them ended up sprawled on the warehouse floor back in England repeating various phrases of swears and ow's as they sat back up. Glancing round they all saw their partners in front of them and ran towards each other for long awaited hugs.
Irwin had been rolling back in five minutes later in a brand new wheelchair when he was accosted by seven boys running towards him all crowding for his attention to tell him what their life had tuned out like and how was he now sir?
“Tom, please. All of you. Just call me Tom. It's good to see you all. Only could we save all of this for another time, I appear to still be quite drained. Very interesting travel I must say”
“It was, wasn't it. I think I can speak for all of us that maybe all of that stuff Pos was spouting is completely and utterly true. Got the proof after all" Lockwood commentated as Rudge beamed at Dirk knocking his shoulder once.
"Oh so are you saying I won't be being sued anytime soon then Jimmy?"
Jimmy help up two fingers up at him as Todd held in a laugh. It felt good to be able to breathe easily once more. Knowing that people were safe. That they'd helped someone yet again through their agency. All of which faded when the Rowdies came over to say thanks in their own way followed by his sister. His sister who gave him an incredibly quick hug checking to make sure he hadn't been injured and then moving backwards a little her voice teasing as she spoke.
“Hey asshole”
“Hey sis”
“So? I don't think I need to ask”
“But you're going to” Todd now starting to smirk with her.
“How do you think your England case is going?”
Chapter 21
Notes:
Let's be completely honest here and say that this is sort of (very much) a filler chapter and it'd be very silly of me to say otherwise. I've been having loads of fun writing Dirk and the boys but i think we're winding it all down now folks. As always thanks for sticking with me, enjoying and supporting! <3! Xx
Chapter Text
“Should have seen him, he took him down right and proper. Never felt so proud”
“Don, it's been three days, give it a rest will you? We're just as proud of Pos as you are, no need to constantly bang on about it”
“I can't help it! But very well Stu, what do you suggest talking about? Up for talking about how all of David's supposed nonsense is very much real and we now have the proof?”
“We've already accepted it. I don't see the point in talking about it”
“No? I think something about it is quite nice, how things are always connected, fate helping in some ways bringing it to people but I think knowing that it can lead to things like Blackwing sort of dampens the romance aspect of it”
“It is amazing I haven't strangled you yet”
“Alright, I'll stop even if it's just to spare you jail time. Y'know the others are still out and we still have a bit of time to kill, we could talk about-”
“Don't start”
“Don't start what?”
“You know exactly what. I will talk to him when I am ready. I get there's bad feeling or awkwardness or whatever but I do not need a flashy neon sign going behind me screaming out for me to talk to him instantly”
“I get that. I think. And I know how much it must pain you to openly admit that. I know at the time it took a lot out of you but things have changed since the 80's including the fact that you're more mature despite what you may say or act otherwise. I just thought -”
“Jesus! Don, I will talk to him in my own time! God I can't wait til Pos and the rest of them get back. Much as I might enjoy your company, I'm looking for some change”
“Am I going slightly daft here or did you, Stuart Dakin, just pay me a compliment?”
“A back handed one perhaps but yes. Don't get carried away with it”
Scripps clutched his heart citing that the world was nigh as Stuart smiled gently, ultimately glad that he wouldn't be being pushed for more answers.
Amanda walked alongside what she supposed was the quieter part of the group, Dirk, Todd and Farah walking up ahead as they tried to catch up on the month or so they'd missed with each other. The girls and their old teacher had suggested getting some air and some food from the shops if they could before they all parted ways. Half the group had jumped on the opportunity to spend extra time with their loved ones. Dirk had joked to Todd about them needing space from Dakin more than anything as they gathered their wallets and coats while Todd glanced up rolling his eyes sometimes forgetting Dirk was actually back with them again. He knew there'd be more to talk about when they got back to the agency, more for them to deal with and get through. But they would get through it.
The Rowdies had decided to stay back and go back to their van for a bit claiming Amanda deserved to have some time with her brother before they would be setting in the direction of 'off' a bit later on in the night.
“So...Dirk huh?”
“Um, excuse me?”
“I just wanted to ask you some things....Dirk things...Is that cool with you?”
“You want me....us to tell you about David? Not who you know now I take it but back then?” Akthar said with some uncertainty turning his head towards Todd's younger sibling.
“Yeah! There's like a reason I decided to walk with you because Dirk said if I wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't drive me nuts too much and actually get some answers, it'd be you. Like I mean, I know you told Todd some things but that's only because he was in the vicinity when all the Blackwing bullshit went down. And I know my brother. He won't say anything to me. He could be respecting someone's privacy or he could just be being an ass saying to just leave it alone because it wouldn't matter, because he thought that meant I could get hurt. I can only ask you because I won't be told to stay out of it. Anyways c'mon how else should I be reacting? This weird British dude appears in our lives a couple of years ago then all of a sudden danger and general spookiness and other stuff just pops up with it? All this weird shit? That's no coincidence.
Then we discover he actually has another life other than the one he'd been hiding already and then you show up and everything goes straight to hell itself once again? A hell of a trip if you ask me. I've spent half my life missing out on things, and I don't want to miss out on knowing about someone I care about. I want to know who he is. Including the days he was back in Blackwing again. He's my friend”
“Well it won't be me or any of the blokes talking about Blackwing. Even if I had wanted to, not exactly the right person for it. As for the rest of it, why haven't you asked David himself?”
“Dirk can be very clever at making his way out of conversations he doesn't want to have. If he doesn't want to talk about it, then we don't”
“Yes that sounds like David. The saga of the conquest of Dakin comes to mind. Very well, I think I can tell you a few things provided that this does stay between us. Not to mention the fact that I'm quite honoured to be the one you came to talk to. Clever, sharp wit and very talented come to mind when I think of that Muppet, capital M. Whether it was him debating or singing at a recital you could bet on him to deliver something. He knew how to get the attention he wanted, and knew when to divert it away. Good principles I suppose, and he could be relied upon in times of crisis despite his sometimes flightiness. Proper conflicting, right?. Even when we thoughts things were done, he still thought of fighting for them not to be. When Cambridge happened, it was like losing a family member. We'd been through a lot together already and losing him was hard on all of us. We're happy to have him back. Happy he's alright and not...something worse. He meshed into the person you know now”
“That guy...um...Don? I've been wondering for a while because it's sorta obvious he seems to be quite fond of Dirk, like how Todd seems to be? And, Dirk, he um...did he really mean what he said? Back when he was facing that Riggins guy? I mean are these stupid questions?”
“One thing we always got told by Totty - one of our History teachers, very wise actually - was that there was no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid not to ask it. You'd be asking something someone else might already have been thinking, and that just meant you helped the class out. Another thing she used to say was that we were a unit so naturally we formed one. Never one left behind. She taught us a lot, she did, not just about how to approach a topic. By far one of my favourite teachers, I think. As for the rest of it, our Scripps has always had a soft spot for him. We all knew fairly early on David needed looking after. He had a few slip up's from time to time but he came through each one. Scripps just took on doing most of it. Worked out in the end though, they usually ended up doing most things together. It's a bit like how your brother and David have that unspoken dialogue between them, I can see it whenever Pos and Scripps get together, saw it a day or so after we all saw each other after years apart. That sort of thing doesn't really go away. Or at least in David's holistic world view, he'll at least say that now the universe won't let it get away. So...that's David for you”
Amanda tried not to let her watery eyes show and bunched up a little closer towards Adil whispering.
“Thank you”
“Honey, we're home”
“You wish Pos!” Dakin smirked
“Do you boys ever take a break? You know you can have a silence without having to fill it” Came Casey's voice as she sat down on the sofa no one had actually been occupying, both Dakin and Scripps having sat on two chairs instead leaning heavily back on them.
“Sometimes I thought if we were actually getting out, I would miss this. Now being back in it, I think I'd rather go have another blood test. You know you tilt those back any further and you'll fall and crack your head” Simone said.
“You think this is bad? Try having taught them, sure they might have been attentive and driven but given any time of the day and there they'd be waffling away with some quote or something other”
“Good to know what you think of us sir” Timms cried out.
“Tom. Please, just try and remember to call me Tom. We've all been through what we have to warrant getting rid of the sir's”
A lull fell over them.
“I know it's not been the happy reunion you no doubt had wished for however I am glad to see you all again. I wish I hadn't left although given the opportunity, I guess I'd do the same. I just want to make sure that if you do still wish to remain in contact with me, there's always this chance something like this could happen another time. I never wanted you involved in this and I'm sorry you were. This....takes me all over so I may not ever have the chance to pop up for friendly catch ups but I can promise to try. I promise I won't be running from any of you any more. And I strongly advise you four know that you shouldn't just try sleeping pills or anything else numbing the pain when you start thinking about Blackwing. I...this is an incredible irony from me but if you think you can at some point, you should talk about it, to the boys or to each other. Like how maybe we should have spoken about the accident. Or about Hector in general. I don't want to be responsible for bringing you back into my world and then all of a sudden have you all regret it. It's not the way I work”
Everyone shifted uncomfortably.
“Oh come on now, I can't say a simple thing or you'll all stare at me wondering how I'll react?”
“It's the fact you say them so freely Pos”
“Oh. Is that what this is? Oh Scrippsy, you have to try to accept that I went through all of this whether you like or want to admit or not. You all did what you could when you could. The main thing is I got out of there and I'm back with you all now. Nothing else but that matters to me. Even if I do have moments, I have Todd and Farah and Amanda, oh and the Rowdy Three whenever they choose to deign me with their presence”
“What if that's not enough?”
“I have a phone Scrippsy. It's an incredible invention. Any time you feel one of your mother hen urges, you can always text or ring me. If you're ever in the area, you can always visit the agency. Don. Just like I said, no running. Could even email as often as you'd like”
“I do not mother hen!”
“With the biggest kindness I can muster, you do Don. I don't not appreciate it if that's what you're also worried about” Dirk beamed as everyone else started to giggle silently.
“You lot don't half do my head in. Christ above and all of it's angels it's keeping”
“Should the Pope not have locked you up by now for your ways with words? It's got to be one of the weirder ones as well. Creative certainly. What about the girls?” Lockwood stated.
“You four girls, Irwin, and you, Todd get free passes, mainly for the fact you've never caused me stress headaches”
"Um I've never given you stress headaches? Why am I involved in this?" Rudge complained.
“Surely any of this would be guilt by association” Dirk snickered as Todd watched the calming scene unfold still unused to seeing how Dirk acted and settled so easily into this other group. Only a tiny slither of jealously left over from the entire ordeal they'd gone through throughout the last couple of months. Todd had accepted he might always have that but knowing that right now, he was good. He was considered friends between them all just as much.
“Farah, do you happen to have any pain killers, I have a feeling I might need them sooner or later” Scripps muttered wearily as Farah pat his back in sympathy.
“Not that I don't love sharing a warehouse with you all but when can we go home?”
People tutted at Dakin's tone as Farah answered.
“As soon as we make sure you are all of sound mind and healthy. It's going to feel odd going back into normal civilian life and I want to integrate you back into it slowly. We've also got to make sure that there are no Blacking personnel waiting for us outside to take any of you back. It is a specific set of rules I have to follow so you are safe”
“Alright so when can we go home?”
“Soon”
“David? Could we talk to you for a minute?” Jade asked as she gently lead the detective away from the bigger group towards the smaller one that they'd formed back in Blackwing.
“Of course you may. What's the matter?”
“We...-” Casey started until Simone cut quickly in.
“We think you're right. We went through some things back there even if only for a tiny bit and we should talk about it somehow to help process it. We just don't know where to start”
“You know processing doesn't just have to be through words”
“Yes we had gathered that David. As Simone said, it's finding out where to start that's our problem. You've done this before, we imagined you might have a better understanding of sorts” Jade lightly spoke as she patted both her friends hands.
“It's quite flattering of you to say so however you can't just pick a place to go from. Things sometimes show up in your mind or a memory or sound from somewhere else flicks through and suddenly you're ten feet away from yourself. Talking about it doesn't erase it instantly or at all if that's what you were hoping for”
Their faces fell a little.
“We weren't lying though David. We did want to start thinking about how to talk about it together. There was lot of things we did that most people will never experience, not even the boys. I want to be able to at least try and hold it together after all this. God knows how many times I felt like I've torn everything in my life apart already” Irwin tried to mutter under his breath so he wouldn't be heard as much.
Dirk nodded more subdued. God knew he had held out for as long as he could and only let his barriers fall completely down when Mr Priest came looking for him.
“Ooo maybe we can set up a group chat! That way if we don't want to tell the boys anything or at least want to wait a little while, we could tell each other instead. It's still amazing to me that we have those sorts of things compared to back when we were younger. It's a bit like magic really” Casey sprung up a little happier. The rest agreeing.
“I think we could do so. Very well, would you like to set it up then Casey, your idea after all. Might be wise to make it now before we forget. Would you like to go back to the group now or” Dirk suggested
“No let's stay here a little longer”
“What so you can avoid Dakin and conversations some more Tom?”
“I already told you Pos. Stop trying to play matchmaker”
“This is going to sound like the most barmy thing ever, but I think I'm actually going to miss this. What we've just done is something no one else has or will ever know”
“Daily norm Peter. And you barely did anything!”
“Like usual then” Timms commentated as Crowther stopped Rudge from slapping Anthony's arm after the second try.
“So the dynamic between you all hasn't changed for however many years I haven't seen you for. Nice to know no matter how hard some people try that things haven't changed”
“Really they've been like this once since they were how old?” Todd asked as Amanda laughed and Farah almost fell off her chair as Todd actually did off his in shock. The Rowdy Three had come in a bit earlier and had been sat over in the corner watching on smiling at the calm and funny rapport they were all sharing. Watching Icarus revert back to some form of 'David' had been as if someone flicked a switch and for once he looked a bit younger and being able to laugh easier. Or it was some novelty nostalgic glasses he'd acquired, too long in one space.
Martin let Amanda have one hour extra until he announced they had to get back on the road to wherever it would be taking them next.
“Alright. Boys and I gotta get going. You ready Drummer?”
“Yeah I'm ready. Remember to keep your phones on, I'll call you when we reach somewhere safe, I promise Todd”
With that she stood up gently hugging almost every single person in the room and when she got up to the agency group she grabbed all three of them together for one big one.
“I like your friends Dirk. They're fantastic, and just as weird as you are. Later Todd!”
“Love you sis!”
Dakin glared an annoyed look at Farah which he took back almost instantly as she stared back harder.
“Oh so she can leave?”
“She's with the Rowdies. Amanda can also handle herself. She's also travelling in a group. I was just about to inform you all that you can all leave tomorrow. Afternoon, not morning. That way if anyone tails you, you can blend in with the rush hour traffic”
“Oh. Hello”
“Irwin”
“Dakin. If the rest of them can try and call me Tom”
“Don't get ahead of yourself, I just came over to speak to you”
Irwin sighed deeply.
“Why are you coming over then?”
“I wanted to get it over with”
“Pos told you to do so now before we leave tomorrow, didn't he?”
“I...as a matter of fact he did. How do you know?”
“He told me the same”
“Right. So we're fine, aren't we? Can be in the same room together and talk like normal people, nothing I see that needs changing”
“Dakin. You know I don't hold the accident against you, right? I mean it did happen, there's no point denying it. Speaking as a teacher and a hopeful friend or something of the sort....this....none of this was ever your fault. Things just happen sometimes and there's no way of knowing or preventing them”
“Fuck, Irw-Tom, fuck! Tom I'm so sorry. Pos was right, I did blame the situation and not the choice I'd made because then I could keep on guilt tripping myself so I wouldn't have to face you and then I just wanted to avoid you. I couldn't face it. Couldn't face you. I even tried to track you down before Blackwing got to you! Jesus fuck I'm just... just...sorry!”
“Far as I'm concerned, so long as you boys weren't injured, I was alright with it. You're very bright people and it would have been such a waste. Now instead of all this, I can say I accept your apology no matter how rare it is coming from you, if at all and you can catch me up on what you've been doing with yourself. I've heard from everyone else of course”
“Tax”
“Tax?”
“Well if you give me a minute, I can explain it instead of having to backtrack every minute or so because you've interrupted me”
“Being away from Sheffield never took away the Stuart Dakin charm, did it really?”
“Told you I'd be able to get them talking. You all owe me at least a fiver. Rudge I'll let you off because you never suggested I couldn't otherwise”
“I should have remembered to not bet you again. Not after that English lesson” Crowther put his hand in his pockets the same time as the others handing the fiver over scowling.
“Do I want to know?” Farah asked.
“Had to give David a piggyback to the staff room without being spotted by the teachers. Y'know how you're not supposed to run in the hallways or anything like that. David thought we could take it up a notch by doing that and grab Totty's keys for something, but Pos dared me to do it backwards and not use my hands when reaching for said keys. Third try, I gave up. May have been splitting my side laughing almost dropping this idiot, but he won at least two sweets being paid for by me, off of me, absolute sod. Seeing as we 'wasted' half our lesson, Totty said if we did something like that again, we'd have to do it in heels” Lockwood folded his arms as Dirk sat smugly.
Todd stared incredulously at Dirk making sure to point straight at him.
“No dares in the office. Or when we're on a case”
“Oh don't be so boring Todd, variety is the spice of life”
“It's also the case of I'm not going to bail you out if you get into trouble because of it”
“Oh that's a lie you totally would, and you know you'd want to join in. I bet we could get Amanda to join in easily, now Farah might take some convincing but I bet she'd love to get into it, I mean unless you told me explicitly to leave you out of it Farah then of course I wouldn't! Mostly on account of the fact you can actually be quite scary when it comes to it. oh we could make it like once a week type thing!”
Todd ignored that comment choosing instead to listen to Jade.
“So we can leave tomorrow Farah?”
“Yes. If everything is like it is now, we can Jade”
“Okay, in that case, I'm going to find a place on the floor to sleep. Don't trust myself on actually lying down on anything this loose of a structure and a chair would just not be good for my body. Be aching all morning otherwise! Don't want to sleep half the day away tomorrow and miss our chance! Night everyone” Casey waved to them settling down.
With that people started following straight after including Dakin and Irwin sleeping in the corner where they'd originally been talking leaving only Todd, Dirk and Don up chatting. Dirk happily finding out Don had come to appreciate Todd and seemingly enjoying his company and vice versa, throughout the case that wasn't technically a case in his opinion. His two best friends getting on was almost getting his second greatest wish.
“I'm glad we got you back, man. Wouldn't want to take on any of this Holistic business on my own”
“It's nice to be back Todd. We'll have the agency back up and running as soon as we can. I'm quite excited for a new case actually. Or maybe we can close up for a week, try and have a bit of rest. I mean obviously we'd have to keep aware in case something was out in our path but there's something to say for actually closing up for a bit ”
“You wouldn't know rest if it hit you in the chest Dirk” And with that Todd started to doze off.
Scripps himself started to settle down and right as he drifted off leaving Dirk to try and calm his racing brain down for a bit of his own rest, he heard Scripps mutter something under his breath to him that had his pride beaming a little more.
“Ye know, I'm proud of you David. Really proud. Doesn't matter whatever the outcome would have been if you'd come back into our lives or not. I'd still have been proud. It's going to be sad to leave you once more however it's going to be nothing short of a good thing this time since I know you're actually alive and with people who can pin you down. You just better stay in contact this time, I mean it. I'll be emailing every day to make sure nothing weird's got a hold of you. It's either that or if you don't, I'll just leave you to said weirdness"
"How ultimately kind of you Don. Truly I feel blessed. Now shove off and let me try and get to sleep. I'd rather feel as I've accomplished something after all this" Dirk tried to keep the humour in his voice from earlier as he knew he wouldn't be able to. Not as well as the others might. Just like he'd told the girls and Irwin earlier, there were some things you could never truly get rid of. Sleep never really came well to him anymore. He didn't really want to respond admitting that right now he still wasn't fine.
"If you can't sleep, you might as well eat something. You're back to looking like a twig. Could easily snap you in two"
"Feels like I could snap Scrippsy. I went through all of this before. It's always the first few days of being back out I get like this. I'm sure I'll be fine in the next couple of weeks"
"For some reason I'm having trouble saying that's truth. I don't think you've been fine for a long time. However I imagine that being back at your agency will bring you to at least some sort of peace you gained the last time you got out. Between us David? I think we'll all get better than before"
Chapter Text
“We should get going if it's good to. It was good to finally meet you David. We'll text when we're home. I'll message to that group chat later as well guys. One of us should try and start actually following through what we decided on. I can't wait to see you whenever we do next though” Jade stated as she started to stand up holding out her hand for Adil to take.
“Quite. I think you've all spent more than enough time here, this place never really granted us any hope, only disaster, no need for any more”
“That's very depressing” Todd stood as he spoke going up to hug the Sheffield group himself.
“At least there ended up being a happy ending to it all. Could have been a lot worse Pos, you know that. Ah don't worry about him too much Todd. I'm sure you've heard worse from him over the years. Boss however phoned last night. Wants me back in next week. Just glad your universe didn't cost me anything except most likely a bad back. God I'm going to never complain about where I sleep next. The floor is terrible” Jimmy complained as he rubbed his shoulder wincing as it clicked.
“Oh keep your hairs on! I've slept in much worse places. We did actually book us all a flight to travel on last night back to the agency. I've been called out to check something to do with a toy cactus, a reappearing rattlesnake and another slide thingy thing and get this the slide? Whenever it's touched, you're catapulted across the room. Really quite interesting I assure you. Well, Farah sorted out the flight thing for us, her and I being team B and such. I sort of just threw flying saucers at her...what? It got boring halfway through. No one ever told me how booking stuff like that could be! It's booked for half one so you could at least settle back down for a couple minutes while I take down all your addresses, emails and anything else you wish to give”
The clock sped far too quickly for Dirk. Goodbyes were never something he stuck around for.
Todd and Farah stood helping picking up their coats or anything else they thought they'd be leaving behind as the Sheffield group glanced round the place, some frowns adorning their faces turning to some sort of bemusement and wonder as they focused on their once lost friend waving him over.
Dirk ambled over to stand in front of them. All of them jumping on him ruffling his hair and hugging him, deja vu running through each mind from what felt like more than a few months or so ago. Dirk laughing freely. Chris looking him straight in the eye.
“We've missed you”
“And I you” All the things they'd said and unsaid hanging over them as they let a now happy silence fall over them.
Farah approached them checking her watch.
“You need to start getting your stuff together and out the door in five minutes before the driver gets impatient otherwise we will not make our flight. I will wait for you outside. This was not as painful as I thought it would be. Thank you. I would happily have you in our offices, so long as you notify us first. It was good to meet you” Farah shook each of their hands, nodded to the girls and Irwin and happily went to check the coast was clear. Todd seeing none of the boys really wanted to leave each other, all of them lingering in their huddle.
“Why don't we leave you boys to say goodbye? Don't be long, they really should get back today” Simone motioned. The girls all took the hint exiting afterwards with Irwin deciding to also leave making sure to shake Dirk's hand and tell him to come visit some time if they were in the area. Todd sprung up as well giving a grin and a wave and going out to join Farah. Dirk deserved to have his own personal goodbye with those idiots. Idiots he'd grown infinitely fond of but still idiots who'd gotten Dirk into trouble.
“God, is it weird I want this moment to last forever? Feel like if I don't see you tomorrow, I'll actually be wondering whether I dreamt all of this up. Whether I dreamt seeing you again up”
“You can speak for yourself Adil. This has been proper mental!” Rudge quipped as he lifted his hand up for a handshake and his other hand resting on his shoulder as he kept speaking.
“Don't think I need to say anything. Just be repeating what I've always said. Just take care of yourself”
Tears started oddly to fill each of their eyes. The minute one of them saw the other, they pointed and laughed as they did so.
“We're right pairs, aren't we? Rare I say these sorts of things so be aware this may not ever come round again. Just don't want this moment to go. Feels like every day has been a snapshot in time and all I've been doing is trying to catch a photo of it to look back on”
“That's indeed...incredibly insightful of you Dakin"
“One of us has to be”
“Promise not to go back into hiding because of a shady past?”
“Cross my heart. I'll even swear by it just for you Don”
Lockwood pulled something out from his pocket pressing it into Dirk's hands. “Remember you eyeing this up for half the year in sixth form, it's yours now. It's one of my favourites so you better look after it, no losing it down a drain or something holistically stupid. Friends forever Pos. We were never not on the same side. I'm sorry if it was anything less. So... Fuck Blackwing and anyone who taught you were less than what you thought you were or who you deserved to be. Only you decide that. I thought you knew that despite it all, we were family. Are family. Friends til the very end Pos”
Dirk opened his hand to see it was one of Jimmy's old badges through the pin pricks of his tears he'd started to accumulate a lot more than he'd wanted to . He'd never heard Jimmy so much as make such a speech and knew that he might not again as he was never really been one for the emotional unlike himself. The actions always spoke more to Lockwood. If he had trouble speaking it, he'd always find a way to show it. Even if that meant once or twice, he'd had to go to the library to research a barely used quote he'd written down for him. Glancing at the badge he noted it was the grassy green one he'd worn constantly on his blazer. He'd instantly put it on his own jacket beaming now wiping his eyes, a chuckle giving away as he did so.
A buzz went off saying he had at least two more minutes.
“Oh are we interrupting something? Timms mocked.
“Farah's telling me we have to get going sharpish now. I...nothing we can say to each other could ever be enough. We went through a lot in school and a lot more here. I can never explain my gratitude or thankfulness that you took me in and gave me something I thought had been taken from me forever. You gave me a life to strive for, a place to be myself and be accepting of that. Even if I don't sometimes feel I deserve it. All these things I thought I'd spend forever wishing for. You gave me a family”
None of them were prepared for that letting their tears fall more freely, none of them for once caring what they must look like to outsiders. Dirk grabbed each one of them for their own hug, straightening out his jacket and readying himself for the end to another one of his detective adventures.
“I'm not one for goodbyes as you well know. Off we go, and all of that. What I will say is what Dale Evans words gave to us for these moments. Happy trails to you, until we meet again. Some trails are happy ones, Others are blue. It's the way you ride the trail that counts. Here's a happy one for you”
Dirk let the words sink in knowing that every day now, there'd probably one - or all - of them on the phone or something likewise to make sure he was still taking care of himself (all of them still keeping of the opinion that David was the youngest so he still needed the most taken care of), there would always be some form of communication and meet up's he'd be invited to. He had them now happily returned to him by the universe for the rest of his life. With that lasting thought, Dirk gave them one last look, all of them coming out to wave them off in the taxi Farah and Todd had called, as he waved back.
Just like all those years ago as the faces got more and more distant, he settled back into just having the three of his favourite people around him. He knew right then, no matter what would occur in future, that with all the family he'd built for himself, he was good.
Chapter 23
Notes:
This is this story's final curtain call. Even though I'm sure I'll write these two worlds again, for now it's time to let this/them rest! I've had a blast the past few months writing this. I don't really want to let it go. Thank you all so, SO much for supporting and enjoying it!
"There ain't no way you can hold onto something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it”
Kate Dicamillo
Chapter Text
Epilogue
To: David Posner
From: Donald Scripps
David! I know we spoke last night but I need your help and I only have enough time for a text. The boss is on my case about an article I still need to write up but I found something which might be slightly holistic which might tie into your case you said you were on (which by the way makes absolutely barely any sense no matter how times you try and explain it to me) I tried to message you last night but apparently someone called Tina answered? She's....interesting....I did like hearing about how you got to Wendimoor though. Do you think....maybe one day we could try and go there? I mean I know you've been there but I'm just saying, I'd like to visit. Anyways listen, try and call me back whenever you can, but make it quick yeah? I don't want to find out if this thing is about to hatch or something even more sketchy. Scripps.
Hey there Pos!
I don't know whether you listened to the voicemail I sent yet or not which is why I'm having to send this letter as an extra - mainly because I know Farah will see it and actually read it compared to you and Todd and having 'boring business stuff to get on with not just read letters' - but you're still invited to the wedding, we would love to have you there. Todd and Farah too. Chris Crowther.
"Oi oi my son!
I'm just ringing up to say that you are cordially invited to Peter's christening. He might look a little bit like an alien but he's my pride and joy. Rudge cannot stop the smug smile whenever we introdu ce him, thinking of actually calling him Pete (seeing as Rudge hates being called that) so he stops boasting about it for five, the smug bastard. Either way, Simone and I really hope you can make it. Timms"
Dear David
Please find enclosed in this letter, a business matter of some sort. There's some building work that I think you'd be good at helping us out on. By business I mean your usual stuff. I don't actually want you on my building site unless I'm there to make sure you don't fall of it. Peter Rudge.
From:[email protected]
David you are not going to believe what happened to me about an hour ago, it was the most ridiculous thing. Actually I think you should call me and I should tell you about it. It's that ridiculous. Actually ignore this email when you get it, I'm calling you now. Jimmy.
To: Pos
From: Dakin
Thanks for talking me out of it last night. Dakin x
From: Chris@drama&co.com
Here's the details of the play I'm in that you asked for. Just to let you know, I've reserved seats for three just in case Todd and Farah want to come down as well. Speak to you on Monday. Casey can't wait to see you either. Crowther.
To: David Posner
From: Donald Scripps
David, answer your phone sometime. Scripps xxxx
"Hi Pos, I know I really shouldn't be calling this late or if you're on a case....oh what's a stakeout like? Oh tell Todd I say hello and the Rowdies! And Amanda! Alright, everyone then! Listen I did ring for something. Yes I did! Can I speak or do you want to go back to staring back into nothing? I don't know whether I should be bothering with this but Jade said to send you our holiday snaps, so look out for an email about that. And.....apparently she's also worried you're not posting as much in the group-chat as much as you have been. Everything okay? Don't 'Adil' me!"
Look at me writing on actual paper. But whatever. Wife said to say that you are cordially invited to our housewarming. It's on the 17 th . Bring as many people as you want or less, I really do not mind. You can stay over if you were planning on getting in the words of most of the boys 'completely and utterly twatted'. We have more than enough room. Hope to see you there then David. - Peter.
"Pos, it's Jim. You busy? Good because what in the fuck have I just read?! Have ya seen it Pos? It's the most trite thing. Our government is fucked"
@David
From: ladladslads!
Happy Birthday Pos! Love from, the gang.
"Just checking in to see how you all are, hope there's not been anything nasty lately. Ah come on Pos, you know I worry. You better not just be eating sweets by the way, your dentist must be knackered looking after you....you don't have a dentist? Pos I'm going to start looking round the area for dentists and you are visiting one. And a GP, you need to see someone because I swear you have so many deficiencies. It's either that I tell Todd you are basically neglecting your healt - For the last time I do NOT mother hen!"
"It's Maggie's 5 th birthday next weekend, and all she's been asking for is when she's going to meet Uncle Pos. Apparently since Ollie has already met him, she wants a piece of the action. She's driving me up the wall mate. Please say you'll come down as a birthday present? Yeah, I didn't think I'd exactly be father material either until it happened now here we are and I can't see myself being anything less. Oh do fuck off with 'I always knew you would be Rudge nonsense'. Just come on down here, yeah? Two days good enough? I actually owe you big time"
@David
From: blackwingarestillwankers
Thanks for coming, it meant a lot to me, and I'm really glad you approve of Tia. Jimmy.
@David
From: ladsladslads
Want to watch the match together on Saturday with us online? Peter.
To: Pos
From Dakin
We're planning a proper reunion. Hard to imagine but it's actually in the works. It's been tricky to get ahold of everyone since everyone is having kids, left right and centre and other important life stuff but it's coming up to our big school reunion and we are definitely hitting the pub hard. It's in two months time so your universe better not interfere with anything of the sort. So come on out to Sheffield and let's have a right old piss up. Dakin.
To: David Posner
From: Donald Scripps
Attached: image531
Look at what I managed to uncover while clearing out the childhood house! We must have been what, final end of Year 12? Look at the face I'm pulling! Here's to a great many years of knowing each other! Scripps.
Subject- Cutlers Anniversary
Attached; image2011The boys are back again!
(Pictured from left to right, pints raised in the air, arms slung round each other and smiles toward the camera; Lockwood, Timms, Crowther, Rudge, Akthar, Dakin, Pos and Scripps)
With love,
The History Boys.

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