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Taako's Big Day (or: the magnum opus of chaos) by the_hemlocked
Fandoms: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
25 Jan 2019
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Summary
Taako sighs, heavy through his nose. “I’m, like, ninety-nine percent sure that my umbrella is possessed.”
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had me barking laughing
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“Do you have… any idea. Of what you’ve done?” The Director closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. They’re sitting in her office — the public one, not the secret one that Pringles went into, and the portrait of Lucretia looms over them.
“Can’t say that I do,” says Merle.
Angus grimaces beside him.
“The two of you broke into our security facilities to talk with a known associate of the Red Robes, the very people who created the Relics, which nearly tore this world apart.” She opens her eyes to glare at them.
“Yeah,” says Merle. “That about sums it up, actually.”
“The thing I don’t understand,” she says, “is why. Angus. Do you care to enlighten me?”
Looking as though he just swallowed a frog, Angus hesitantly speaks. “With all due respect, ma’am, the answer to your question is… noooo ? I don’t necessarily… care to, uh, enlighten… you.”
“Fuck yeah,” Merle says, holding out his fist. “Stick it to the old people.”
“You’re older than I am,” Lucretia says, flabbergasted. “I— why would you be doing this? Taako, maybe I could see, but the two of you…” The Director pauses, eyes far away, as a resigned sigh breaks free of her lips. She groans, low in her throat. “And where , exactly, is Taako?”
“He’s shopping at Fantasy Costco,” says Angus, at the exact same time that Merle says, “He’s dead.”
At this, the Director has full-on buried her head in her hands. “I can’t believe this,” she mutters, the sound muffled. “One more Relic. Just one more and then this would have all been over.” She looks up at them from behind her fingers. “I suppose Magnus is in on this plot, too?”
“No,” Merle lies, as an alarm blares somewhere in the background.
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