Chapter Text
"This is so cool!" Chopper's eyes glistened as he sat by the figure head, drum island now far behind, "The ocean is huge!"
Luffy giggled, "Course it is! Having adventures on a huge ocean is what being a pirate's all about!"
Nami grinned, "I guess that we didn't really need to worry about him fitting in."
"I'm pretty certain it's just going to be us, considering how much partying he did last night," you huffed, crossing your arms, "You have no idea how stressful it was making sure that he didn't drink any alcohol. Especially when idiotic swordsmen are trying to get him drunk!"
Zoro scowled, "He's a pirate. What sorta pirate doesn't enjoy their booze?"
"He's underage. He can't drink!" You glared at him. "Chopper looks up to me as his older sister-"
"Which is a really stupid idea by the way. Also," He raised his finger declaratively, "it's good life experience. I first got drunk when I was-"
Thump!
Vivi smiled peacefully down at Zoro's twitching form as she dusted off her hands.
You blinked.
She beamed, "I'm tired, worried out of my mind for my people, physically exhausted from your training regime and I am this close," A tiny gap remained between her fingers, "to getting a migraine. Not to mention Mr Bushido's pig headed attitude was grating to say the least. Besides, I've been meaning to pay him back for a while for letting Carue follow him into that river." Her face fell at your surprised expression, "Oh I'm sorry, did you want to hit him?"
You waved your hand, "Nah, that was satisfying enough…"
'Remind me not to piss her off on a bad day…'
" I'll do everything within our power to make sure that does NOT happen…"
The recently thawed out duck hammered his beak at Zoro's head, before glancing up as a shadow fell across the Merry.
"Huh, what's that!"
Raising a hand to block out the glare, you shrugged, "Oh that's just a large gull. No worries."
"Large my ass!" Nami cried, shaking you viciously, "It's half the size of Merry-"
"Huh, that's smaller than I thought. Neat."
"-and heading straight for us!"
Deadpanning, you pointed at the sight of Luffy screaming for Sanji to cook up the immobilised bird.
"I don't know why I bother sometimes," she growled as she stormed off towards the others. Clapping her hands, she jerked a thumb over her shoulder, "You guys! The ship's going to land at Alabasta any minute now. I know (y/n) called off training, but we don't have time to be playing around! Come on!"
"Y-yes ma'am!"
Vivi chuckled weakly, "She really can pull her weight when she wants to."
"Well, so can you." Zoro groaned as he sat up, "Did Nami give you lessons or something?"
"Uh, excuse me?" Chopper tapped Vivi's leg quizzically, "What's Alabasta? I thought it was a rock..."
She giggled, "No that's 'Alabaster', silly."
"Ah," Chopper rubbed his hooves together.
"Alabasta is a country Vivi's father rules." Nami grinned as she twirled her new weapon experimentally around her finger.
"This evil guy called Crocodile is trying to take it over," Usopp chipped in as he sat down on the steps just behind the doctor. He glanced up at Nami, "How the Clima-Tact holding up for you?"
She shrugged, "Not too sure yet. I'll need a proper fight to test it out."
"Uh, excuse me, but why is a crocodile trying to take over a country?"
"Whoo boy." Squeezing the bridge of your nose, you exhaled sharply, "This is going to take a while…"
Tapping his foot hurriedly, Sanji took the cigarette out of his mouth, "Tell me what you know."
Luffy turned his face away, sweat dripping down his face.
"Hey." The cook snatched his cheek, "What's with you turning your face away? Look at me dammit!"
You giggled, rolling backwards to recline against the railing, "How in Kronos' name is Mop-boy sleeping through this? The stuff this crew gets up to is way funnier than any transponder sitcom."
" Oh indubitably! The comedic timing is immaculate! You'd think this was scripted."
Snapping out of his grasp, Luffy pouted and waved his hand from side to side, eyes focusing on anything but Sanji, "No, no. I reeeally don't know what you're talking about."
" And that expression is indubitably trustworthy."
"I mean, c'mon." You cocked an eyebrow as you glanced to your left side, "At least we know when he's lying."
Sanji growled, "Okay then, I'll ask you directly. How is it that the rations I prepared to last the nine of us until we reached Alabasta suddenly disappeared in the middle of the night? Including all the meat that (y/n)-chwan kindly prepared from that gull yesterday?" He growled, pinching the rubber boy's cheeks "Don't give me that attitude! You'd be terrible at poker!"
Luffy scowled.
" Actually, I may be able to be of assistance here."
"Huh, really?" You shrugged, "Should we swap then."
" That would be ideal. It's been a while since I've been willingly leant your body"
You closed your eyes and as you exhaled you let Mello take control of your body, 'We still need to talk about Nami's books by the way…'
He chuckled, opening and closing a fist experimentally, "Afterwards, Missy." Getting shakily to his feet, Mello ambled over towards the interrogation, "If I may, I should be able to add some insight here, Sanji."
"Oh, it's you you stupid scythe." Sanji's face, initially ecstatic to see you walk towards him, fell into a scowl, "What do you want?"
' He does realise I'm still here, and can hear him, right.'
Mello crossed his arms, "I'll ignore your blatant rudeness for the present. What I wished to tell you is that I know perfectly well who consumed the food. I was awake the entire time after all."
Luffy gulped.
Sanji laughed mockingly, "Oh please, I already knew who the culprit is." He blinked slowly, gesturing at his mouth, "Uh Luffy, there's something around your mouth."
"Ah crap! Leftovers!"
"SO IT WAS YOU!"
The kick span your captain spinning across the deck and into the side of the women's cabin.
' I should tell Flirty to remove the weights at some point…'
"Not so fast, Mister cook," Mello wagged a finger, "Your conclusion is partially true. But rather, instead of a single culprit," Smirking, he shot a glance towards the three shaking individuals sitting on the ledge, "consider the possibility of multiple offenders."
Usopp gulped something down, his hands tightening around his fishing rod, "W-well then! We have to catch some fish for Sanji..."
"Qwa!"
"He says 'Sure thing.'" Chopper translated hurriedly.
' I expected better from you, Chopper.'
A vein tensed on Sanji's forehead, "Is that so…" he grinned darkly, before stepping behind the trio with an amicable tone, "Oh, is it going well?"
They flinched sharply, large exaggerated smiles covering half their faces.
"O-OF COURSE!"
Placing his hands either side of the three, he slammed their heads together before letting them collapse backwards onto the deck. "Geez, I can't take my eyes off you for a second." Spinning on his heel, he marched back towards Mello and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I appreciate the help, Mello. Now can (y/n)-chwan pleeeeeeease come back." He shivered, "It's quite disconcerting to be talking to a woman who sounds like a guy."
' Still here...'
"How disrespectful…" Mello huffed, but he begrudgingly made the switch.
Blinking open your eyes, you scratched the back of your head nervously, "I need to see if we can get you to talk without using my body."
" That would be excellent, thank you. I would enjoy being able to speak my mind to those idiots."
"(y/n)-chwan!" A pair of arms got wrapped around your waist and a cheek rubbed against your hip, "It's so good to hear your dulcet tones once more~"
Shoving his head away, you glared at him, "Flirty, no touchy. We've talked about the flirting thing."
"But (y/n)-chwaaan..."
"I wonder if we can talk to Chopper about this," you mused aloud, stepping over to stand in front the dizzy reindeer, "He knows more about how we work than we do. Although we don't have to be a test subject anymore, I think he wanted to talk about running a couple of experiments if we were okay with it."
Mello sighed, "It's the best lead we have currently."
"(y/n)-chwan…"
"NO Flirty."
"I think it should be possible," Chopper closed the thick book and glanced up at you, "I would like to run a couple more tests first to confirm my hypothesis though. It's not like we have any evidence to base this off of. But also not like we have any to disprove it."
You grinned, "Wait really?! You could do that?! That would be awesome, you're the best little brother ever Chopper!"
Waggling his hips, he giggled, "Saying stuff like that doesn't make me happy, you jerk! Asshole!"
In the middle of making a mental note to keep Zoro and Sanji as far from Chopper as you physically could, Vivi burst in through the galley door.
"Miss Nami, there's something wrong! Come quick!"
Nami glanced up from across the table and set down her quill, "Alright, what is it this time."
Following her outside, you stepped aside to let Chopper see the cloud of steam in front of the ship.
Hopping up onto the railing, his eyes sparkled, "Oooooh, what's that?"
"Nothing to worry about," Nami smiled down at him, "Just some steam from an underwater hotspot."
Luffy frowned from where he was fishing, "What's that?"
Nami beamed as she started to explain the intricacies of underwater volcanoes, both Chopper and Sanji hanging on her every word for completely different reasons.
You slowly inched your way back into the galley as she talked. The Merry was going to sail straight through the hotspot soon, and you didn't really want to reek of sulphur thank you very much. You would have grabbed Chopper, but your heart melted at the happy look on his face as he gazed up at Nami, and you decided to let it be. He deserved to know about the outside world.
It wasn't like you were detaching yourself from them. Sitting with your back to the wall, you could still hear everything that was being said outside.
"Catch anything yet?"
"Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"MISTER LUFFY! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT USING CARUE AS BAIT!"
"But I ate the bait...Oh Sanji! I'm hungry. Go make me something."
"...There's nothing I can do about you, is there?" Refined footsteps drew closer, and the galley door half opened, "I'll search the galley top to bottom and see if there's anything left."
As soon as Sanji entered, you dashed forwards to shut the door. The sudden noise made him turn.
You stared at each other.
His face lit up, "(y/n)-chan! I didn't know you were in here." Eyes flickering to the door, his grin widened, "Could it be you wanted some alone time wi-"
"Not a chance," you huffed as you collapsed back down, "Just give it a bit…I'd say in about three...two..."
"GWAAAAAAA! IT STINKS"
Raising an eyebrow, you gestured outside through the porthole as the muffled sounds of your crewmates coughing and choking filled the air.
Both of you dipped your heads in a moment of silence for your comrades.
Sanji shivered. Moving quickly into the kitchen area, he opened a cupboard and started to rifle through, "Can I get you anything mademoiselle?"
"Nah, I'm good thanks."
"You sure? It'd be my honour to whip up something sweet-"
"Flirty. I'm fine."
He blinked at you questioningly, before shrugging it off and rummaging through the cupboards for a scrap of anything edible.
Getting up, you retrieved a bottle of your usual from the store rooms, poured yourself a glass and sat back at the table.
"Tsk. Those brats," the cook growled as he finally slammed the fridge shut, "There's less left than I thought. Like hell I'll make something for him!"
You grinned, "So that's why you're already preparing something."
He smirked as he poured a splash of oil into the frying pan, "Why of course."
"Well," you swirled the drink around your glass, "Cap's really not the sort of person you want to say no to."
He hummed in agreement, sprinkling seasoning onto the sizzling pan, "I actually declined his invitation to be on the crew, y'know."
"What? No way!" Setting the drink aside, you rested your head on your hands in anticipation.
"Yeah." Sanji crossed his arms and pouted in a crude impression of Luffy, "'I refuse your refusal!'."
You giggled, "Oh no he didn't!"
Grinning himself, his eyes barely left the food in front of him, "C'mon. It's Luffy, what else would he do?"
"Fair 'nuff!" You raised your glass towards him, "I accepted the offer before he even asked me."
He snorted, "He must have loved that."
"Yeah I don't really think I've convinced him that I'm not magic yet." You grimaced, "If he wants me to pull a prank or something, he just screams for the psycho or the magic woman..."
"I'm just surprised he doesn't call you a 'Mystery Woman' already."
Your eyes met.
Sanji snorted.
You squeaked.
Throwing back your heads you both burst into peals of laughter.
"I am...THE Mystery Woman!"
"Ah yes! THE Mystery Woman! I did not recognise you there, how do you do mademoiselle?" He mock bowed with the frying pan.
You twirled your hands and glass in a gaudy manner, "I'm quite fine thank you, kind sir. Now if you don't mind, I've got plans to be mysterious and don't want to be late."
"Why are we still laughing?! It's not even that funny!"
Stifling your giggles, you raised a finger, "Maybe it's a...mystery."
This, of course, set the two of you off again into another fit of giggles.
"WHY!" Sanji glared at you, but it had no real force behind it because of the massive smile on his face, "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"
"I DON'T KNOW!" You eyed your shoulder suspiciously, "I'm not drunk, right?"
" Miraculously, no you are not. Although that would explain a considerable amount in the current situation."
Pouting, you flicked the tattoo.
Now that you had stopped laughing, you finally registered the sounds of excitement coming from outside.
You sighed, getting to your feet, "What the hell're they playing at now?" Sauntering towards the porthole by the door, you peered through.
To your horror, you recognised a man in a pink overcoat, white ballet shoes and blue medieval clothes linking arms with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp. White wings spread out from his shoulder blades, two swans curved to form an upside down twos.
Gulping, you hurriedly crouched down under the porthole, "Oh this is bad."
Quickly but carefully placing his freshly made food onto a plate, Sanji rushed over towards you, "What's the problem." He looked out the porthole and almost gagged on his cigarette, "Who the hell is that?!"
"Bentham." You grimaced, pearing gingerly through the glass, "Better known as Baroque Works' Mr 2 Bon Kurei."
Sanji cursed under his breath, making for the door.
Hissing, you grabbed his hand pulling him back down next to you.
He glared at you, "What're you doing!? We need to warn them!"
"No. We need to stay right here." You flicked his forehead, "Benny has Clone-clone fruit powers. If he touches someone, he can become a perfect copy of them."
His eyes widened, "He's probably already touched all of them."
You nodded, "So us going out there now won't do anything. In fact," you winced, "just me being there will make things worse…"
"Because we said that you were with Mr 3 on the snail…" Sanji gritted his teeth as he slumped down next to you, "And they don't know my face yet..."
"Well, apart from Chopper, but that ship's sailed." You drummed your fingers on your chin, "Not to mention what he could do with your face…Using the face of a Vinsmoke could destroy countries..."
Sanji stiffened next to you.
Slowly turning, you took in his stupefied expression. "...Was I...not supposed to know or something...?"
He blinked.
"Cause I mean, it's kinda obvious to those who have actually met them, curly eyebrows, brightly colored hair and all..." You chuckled nervously, trailing off when his expression didn't change. Taking his hand, you gave it a quick squeeze, "But I guess that's a conversation for another time." Taking a quick glance through the porthole, you stood up, "Well we should go back outside; Benny's gone."
You made for the door, only to have your arm dragged back.
"Can you, uh, not tell…" Sanji's hair fell across his face, shielding his expression.
You smiled softly, "Now why would I do that? In case you hadn't noticed, I've been keeping secrets my entire life. One more won't hurt."
He sucked in a breath, dropping his hand limply to the floor.
You opened the door, letting in a stream of light and laughter. Before you stepped through, however, you turned to him, "Y'know that talk we had earlier, Sanji, before all this? It was nice. We should chat like that more often. As friends."
Not waiting or expecting a reply, you went out to rejoin the rest of your friends playing in the sun.