Chapter Text
The dark waves sloshed from side to side as the Going Merry sliced through them. You leant back on the aft deck, hands under your head, looking up at the stars. Taking in every sparkle. Every slight variation.
Since you were pretty confident you weren't going to sleep tonight. Not well at least.
Mello hummed, his consciousness at the furthest point of your mind it could be. Not that surprising really, after that bomb and then Drum back to back. He needed to rest before Alabasta, even if you weren't going to.
A glowing light coming round the corner made you turn, "Hey Mop-boy."
"Missy." He grunted, sitting down next to you with the lantern, "Didn't expect you to be awake. Normally that scythe is on duty in the tangerine grove."
You chuckled, not bothering to prop yourself up, "Believe it or not, he's sleeping." Reaching over to the side, you handed him the bottle next to you, "Drink?"
"Let me guess," he smirked, "A hunch?"
"Nah, just thought you'd be awake after napping all day." You held out a glass, "Fill me up."
"Do it yourself."
"Can't be bothered."
"Fine…"
You rolled your eyes as he poured a generous amount, grumbling the entire time, "Thanks."
He dipped his head as he took a swig from the bottle.
The two of you lulled into silence, you leaving your drink untouched at the side. Normally, you hated silence. Loathed it even. But this felt...nice. As if you didn't need to speak.
"You ready?"
The question caught you off guard, "Huh?"
Zoro's face illuminated in the lamp light as he turned towards you, "We're nearing Alabasta soon. You ready?"
"Sure." You swung up into a sitting position, The stars weren't that bright with the lantern anyways. "Why wouldn't I be."
"I mean, are you ready to kill."
You froze with your glass halfway to your lips.
Putting down the bottle, his lip curled, "I guess that answers that question. And why you can't sleep."
You pursed your lips.
"I'm not an idiot. I noticed how all the blows you gave on Cactus Island were non lethal. You're not the only one who knows where to hit."
Were you that transparent? Mello would probably say yes, but you really didn't want to bother him right now.
"I know that you've realised you have to kill again at some point." His eyes narrowed, "You may be a bunch of things, but you're not stupid. You're a pirate. It comes with the territory."
You said nothing.
He stared right at you. Waiting for an answer. An explanation.
'Kronos I'm pathetic.'
"I'm not killing." Your knuckles tightened on your glass. "Never again."
"Why?"
The question felt too blunt, too forceful, for what it was. It felt painful just to answer, "I...I have ended so many lives. So many were cut forcefully short. And the worst part is...I know just what I've taken." Your eyes flickered to his, "Do you have any idea what it's like to strike someone, and then see their future just end. Like, it was so long before, but it's gone in an instant." You held your hand up to the stars, the shadow blotting them out completely, "And to know that they had children, had lovers, had family...and I was ending all that...never again." Your fist clenched, "Not one more."
"How many?" The tone of sympathy made you look up. Zoro was never one for open compassion. But then again...in this regard, the two of you were the same.
Your head dipped, "Too many."
Silence fell once more. One the crash of the waves couldn't crush.
"Fine." He groaned, raising the bottle once more, "Just wanted to make sure where we stand."
You blinked, "So...you're not going to chew me out?"
"What for?" He grimaced, "If you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. Simple as that."
And that was that. Tension gone. He went back to drinking.
A smile flickered over your face. Perhaps it really could be that simple… You'd have to get used to that.
"Oi oi, what are you doing up so late you stupid Moss Hea…" Sanji trailed off as he rounded the corner.
You and Zoro froze, blinking at him.
Sanji's visible eye flicked frantically all over the place, taking in everything.
The open bottle of alcohol you were sharing.
The relaxed atmosphere.
The open starry sky.
The fact you were alone.
"IS THIS A D-D-DAAATE?!"
You and Zoro groaned.
"Honestly, you shitty cook...how old do you think you are?"
"Please, I have some taste."
"OI!"
"WHY YOU!" Sanji shrieked, obviously not hearing a single thing you'd just said, zooming over to aggressively shake Zoro, "HOW DARE YOU LAY A FINGER ON (Y/N)-CHWAN! SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN YOU!"
"I can agree with that."
"Shuddup, Missy, and help me out!"
You smirked as you took a sip of your drink.
"BITCH!"
"HA! THERE! PROOF YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF HER ANGELIC PERFECTION! HOW DARE YOU CALL HER SUCH A VULGAR NAME!"
'I'd hardly call myself angelic…' You sweatdropped as you got to your feet, "Right then! Since it doesn't seem like you're gonna be leaving any time soon, Flirty, do you want me to get you a drink?"
Zoro grimaced, "You serious?"
"That would be perfect, (y/n)-chan!" Sanji promptly sat cross legged in the space you'd just vacated. You had a hunch he would make you sit as far away from Zoro as physically possible.
"Besides," the swordsman grunted, brandishing the bottle, "What the hell's wrong with the sake?! Does this prissy cook need something special?"
You stared at him in horror, "Flirty prefers red wine approximately dated from at least 3 years ago. There are so many different types of alcohol; it's important to get people the one they are most suited for." Rounding the corner to go to the stores, you wrinkled your nose, "And it isn't as if sake is cheap either!"
"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO INTRODUCED ME TO SAKE!"
Slap!
"Yell at (y/n)-chan one more time, marimo! ONE MORE TIME!"
You chuckled as you left them to their argument. Boys would be boys, it seemed. They reminded you of a toned down Jabra and-
You shuddered.
Best not to think about them.
It was pretty obvious which bottle to pick, there was still one open from the last time you'd done drinks for everyone. After that, well…
Your lip twitched upwards as you giggled at the large pile of bottles.
Perhaps you'd been a little... too enthusiastic when taking from Raoul.
Exiting the galley, bottle and wine glass in hand, you raised your head as the door of the men's room creaked open.
Usopp yawned, not noticing you at all as he shuffled round to the back deck.
Annoyance flitted over your face. Were you going to have to go back and get another drink? You hadn't even got Usopp's tastes fully figured out yet!
No. You shook your head as you silently trudged after him. He was just going to see what was going on. Sanji and Zoro were pretty noisy after all.
Or...they had been…
It was quite quiet now.
"Huh?!" Usopp halted midstep, causing you to almost bump straight into him, "What's going on?"
Zoro and Sanji sat close to each other, the swordsman taking a sip from the bottle as he pointedly avoided looking at the cook. Sanji said nothing, staring at your untouched glass of alcohol in front of him as if it held the secrets of the universe.
Usopp took it all in.
The open bottle of alcohol they were 'sharing'.
The tense atmosphere.
The open starry sky.
The fact they were alone.
"Are you guys on a date?"
...
You couldn't help it. Leaning on the railing for support, you let out a stream of laughter that bubbled up inside of you.
Sanji and Zoro's faces weren't helping either.
Usopp turned to you in disgust, "Huh? When did you get here? But anyways, you really shouldn't laugh, (y/n). If they have feelings for each other, then we should be good friends and support them."
"Oh yeah!" You gasped in between giggles, "You guys have my full support!"
Mello was going to be so mad he missed this!
"OI!" Zoro bristled, bright crimson face clashing horribly with his hair as he shot to his feet, "What the hell're you thinking?! We don't even have time for this!"
Sanji's cigarette went up in flames as he did the same, "For once, I agree with the moss head! Besides...my heart only belongs to each and every lady!"
"Oh come on you guys," Usopp grinned, waving his hand "You can't fool me with your fake hating each other routine. I woke up one morning to see you guys almost kissing."
You could have heard a pin drop.
"THAT WAS ALL THE COOK'S FAULT!"
"I-I THOUGHT HE WAS NAMI-SWAN!"
"Really?!" Your eyes sparkled menacingly. "They almost kissed huh?!"
Zoro's face fell, "Oh don't give her more blackmail material…"
"Miss Mysterious...please don't get the wrong idea…" Sanji whimpered.
You pretended not to listen as you turned to Usopp, "We should let Luffy know. The captain of a ship can officiate marriages you know?" For marine ships...
"DON'T YOU DARE!" / "PLEASE STOP THIS (Y/N)-CHWAN!"
"Really?" The sniper obliviously scratched his chin, "Huh, I had no idea."
"But we shouldn't rush into it."
Zoro and Sanji sagged with relief.
Your smirk was devilish, "We should set it up for after Alabasta. We need to focus on that first."
They collapsed to their knees, skin paling.
"This is... a disaster…" Sanji moaned, eyes unfocusing.
Zoro just nodded, too slack jawed to say anything.
"Oi, Usopp!" Nami groaned as she rounded the corner, "Why's it so noisy. I'm trying to slee..." She trailed off at the sight in front of her. "Damn. Vivi owes me 5000 bellies..."
"HOW COULD YOU NAMI-SWAN!"
Zoro's eyebrow twitched, "You...you bet on us?!"
"On whether you'd man up and ask him out on a date, yeah." She crossed her arms, "I was wondering if there was something underneath all that bickering and Sanji's flightiness between women...Are you okay, (y/n)?"
You gave a thumbs up as you leant on the wall to steady yourself, chest still heaving, "I'm...hehehe...just peachy!"
"Oi Sanji, I'm hungry. Make me meat."
"Luffy don't drag me. Oh, hi Big Sis (y/n), what's going on?"
"I was wondering where you had gone Miss Nami."
So now the entire ship had woken up. Perhaps this was going a little too far...
"Pay up!" The navigator grinned impishly, pointing a finger towards the two men slowly dying inside.
Vivi groaned, "Oh I had hoped that Mr Sanji really was not fooling around with every woman he met…"
"I...I...I...NO!" Sanji stormed forwards, "Never! Every woman is a pearl to be cherished! I would never, EVER consider the marimo as an option."
Luffy cocked his head to the side, "Option for what? Meat?"
"I need to get on and do that brain test," Chopper face-palmed...face-hooved...How exactly did that work again...
Yeah so this was going a little too far, "Hold up you guys." You pushed forwards, showing the bottle to them all, "I couldn't sleep, so we were all having a drink together. That's all. Nothing romantic implied. Nada."
Zoro groaned, "Took you long enough…"
"Thank you, Miss Mysterious," Sanji smiled with weak relief.
Usopp squinted at you, "But you said-"
"It was a joke!" You raised an eyebrow, "You seriously didn't think I was going along with it a bit too willingly. Like, you honestly set up the entire thing."
"Damn...I KNEW IT!" He moaned, holding his head in his hands.
Vivi sidled up to Nami, "What was that you were saying about paying up?"
"Oh, we never finalised our contract so it doesn't count," she deadpanned without missing a beat.
"ARE YOU THAT UNWILLING TO LOSE MONEY?!"
"Yes."
You and Chopper exchanged a weary look. "At least she's honest about it…" the doctor mumbled.
You chuckled, before clapping your hands together, "Right then, since we're all awake anyways, how about I get you all something to drink?"
"Yaaay!"
Zoro grunted, "You'd better get me something good…"
"No problem!" You handed the bottle and glass in your hands to Sanji, "I'll get you a bit of something else as well."
"You have my thanks (y/n)-chwan." He grinned as he lit another cigarette and followed you round to the stores and the galley "I think I shall go and make some hot chocolate for the...younger members of the crew."
Your eyes sparkled, "Hot chocolate?"
"Would you like some?"
"KRONOS YES!"
So that was how you found yourself sitting round a tiny lantern with the entire crew. Zoro with his two bottles of sake. Sanji with his red wine and rosé. Nami and Vivi with different cocktails; one citrus, one tropical. Usopp with (you had gone out on a limb here but it seemed to have worked) his tequila. And you, Carue, Luffy and Chopper with steaming mugs of hot chocolate.
The roar of the waves got drowned out by laughing and teasing, clinking mugs and the sloshing of drinks. Not one conversation mattered. It was just idle chit chat, with the occasional staring match before breaking out into giggles.
You grinned, wrapping your fingers around your delightfully warm mug. Before was nice. This...was perfect. Nothing was expected of you. Nobody forced you to do anything.
You could do what you want, and not get punished for it.
So you continued to chat and laugh until you finally fell asleep.
A sweet and dreamless sleep.
"What on earth went on here?!"
Sitting up and squinting from the harsh glare of the morning sun, you took in the mass of tired, tangled limbs, rolling glasses and the burnt out lantern. Burnt down to the wick. You grinned, licking the remnants of whipped cream off your upper lip, 'Wouldn't you like to know?'
-----------------------------
Gritting his teeth, Dalton punched a fist deep into the wall. How could Wapol… And to a young girl… He was ashamed to call him his king. And yet the princess had handled it expertly. The rage and indignation was enough for him to storm away from that odious man. Chess and Kuromarimo could take over his guard duty. He just needed to get away from prying eyes for a bit.
"Defiling government property I see. And at a Reverie as well. Tut tut, Dalton. I would have thought you knew better."
Or so he'd thought.
"Who's there!" He demanded, whipping his head back and forth in vain. There was a chatter outside from all the royals and their escorts, but this little courtyard was apparently deserted.
"Oh just chill already." The voice giggled, "I'm right here."
A black gloved hand waved from behind one of the pillars surrounding the little square. Dalton started. He hadn't even noticed anyone when he had stormed in here. Granted, he had been somewhat occupied with his thoughts at the time, but he would have still thought his natural instinct would have served him some purpose. No. He was positive that when he arrived, there was nobody here. Which proved that this stranger had very capable stealth training. He reached forward to get a closer look-
"N-no!" The hand instantly recoiled back into the shadows, "Please...stay back. I'm probably going to get punished anyways for just speaking to you. Don't make it worse; for either of us."
Dalton frowned as his arm lowered, "I did not realise that the government employed a shadow guard." His eyes narrowed, "And one...so young?" For she couldn't be more than 18.
"Why not?" She completely ignored the question about age, "It's kinda to be to expected don't you think? All these big shots in one place. The government wants to know the dynamics of each country. And duh we can't be seen. That'd cause...problems."
He hummed. That definitely made sense. Many of these rulers, Wapol included, would object to a third party being present without good reason. Although it made him more than a little bit uncomfortable to know that he had most likely been watched since he set foot on Mary Geoise.
That only left one thing...
"If you are not supposed to be spotted by any of us Revery participants," he crossed his arms, "then why talk to me at all."
A pause. "'Cause I felt guilty."
"Guilty?"
An elbow reached up, as if she was scratching at something on her neck. No, not scratching, tapping. He could faintly hear the rhythmic thud. Definitely a child. The elbow was not high enough to be for a full grown adult. "Since I couldn't do anything earlier. About Alabasta's princess and your so-called King I mean."
He didn't even retaliate about the 'so-called' comment. He couldn't contest it. For Wapol truly was a King in name only. "It is perfectly acceptable for you to not do anything. You are a shadow guard, and as you yourself said, you cannot be seen by others."
"Perhaps..." The arm lowered, "But it wasn't right. I should have gone out there, punishments be damned. I'm sorry I didn't."
"And how exactly do you think I feel?" Dalton grimaced, "Watching the leader of my country disgrace himself like that…"
She barked out a chuckle, "I know. You're surprisingly easy to read. It's why I decided to break the rules and talk to you after all."
More questions... The longer he kept talking to this stranger, the more Dalton found himself wanting to pry more.
"I wanted to apologise to the princess too," she continued, "but I had a feeling that after what just happened they wouldn't take too kindly to a stranger dropping in out of nowhe-"
A loud growl filled the air.
"Ah...sorry…" The elbow stuck out again as the stranger in question rubbed her head, "You… uh… you wouldn't happen to have any food on you, would you?"
Startled for a moment, it took a bit until he frantically started checking his pockets, "I...I am afraid not, my apologies."
"It's alright." The arm dropped behind the pillar once more, "I can survive."
"But why are you hungry? There is an abundance of food here."
"Off limits."
"Although I am horrified at myself for considering it, I am sure that if you were to steal a morsel or two no one would notice."
"Nah, they'd notice alright..." She chuckled again, the sound feeling more hollow than anything else. "Welp!" Before she reverted into an overly enthusiastic joy, "I should be getting off. I said what I wanted to say after all. Nice talking with you!"
"W-wait!" Dalton dashed forwards. There was still more he wanted to ask. Where had she come from? How had she been appointed? Why was she hungry? Why, why, why?
But when he turned around the pillar, there was no one there.
'That stupid king doesn't deserve him.' You watched from the dark rafters above as Dalton span on his heel, head scanning everything before Wapol yelled for him and he paced slowly away.
"Agreed." Mello hummed in your hand, "I do hope something gets sorted before we see him again."
You rolled your eyes, 'IF we see him again. If all goes to plan, I'm not going to set foot in the Grand Line ever again.'
"And yet...I still believe we shall see him again."
'Yeah.' Your lips pursed, 'Me too…'
----------
"Is (y/n)-chan still not awake yet?"
Cas's head flipped up and span to the door, "Oh it's just you, Sanji." He sighed, looking down at her sleeping form, "No. She's still out of it. Mellontas too, which is odd."
The cook raised an eyebrow as he pulled up a chair to the cot, "You can tell?"
"Parel can, apparently." He shrugged, "Not sure if I trust her on that or no- Okay, okay, I trust you...Geez..."
Sanji lit a cigarette, the light a bright flare in the darkness. He was more than used to your antics by now so this wasn't really anything new. "Let me know when she does, yeah? Luffy's been driving me nuts waiting for that feast."
"Mm…"
The two trailed off into silence, the creaking of Sanji's chair as he tipped it back the only real sound.
Cas observed him somewhat warily, somewhat worriedly, chewing on his lip.
"If you've got something to say, just go out and say it," the cook droned. "I'm too tired to deal with you brooding over there."
The Whitebeard pirate lowered his head, "Are you sure? Since once I come out and say it, it can't really be unsaid."
Sanji paused mid swing on his chair. "I see." Puffing out a line of smoke, he cradled his head in his hands, "Out with it."
Cas sucked in a breath.
"I know who you are."
Sanji's eyes flashed, "You mean...my fam-"
"Yes."
A pause.
"How?"
Cas looked down at the figure on the cot, "(y/n)."
Sanji's teeth ground on his cigarette, "How dare you! She wouldn't tell anyone..."
"No!" He sat bolt upright, "Not like that! She didn't say a word to me." His fists clenched, "At least...not directly."
Sanji waited, wanting a more concrete answer.
Cas rolled his eyes, "You know what I can do right? My ability?"
"Yeah, it's to see the past if you touched someone." He tersely replied, "But you're forgetting something. You never touched me."
"No. But I touched (y/n)."
His jaw slacked, "When she slapped you…"
"I saw that conversation in the galley. Yeah."
Silence.
"Why did you tell me?"
"I felt it was only right you should know. I kinda found out by accident after all." A wry smile flitted over his face, "Out of the three of us, my ability doesn't really have any personal boundaries."
Sanji grunted, "Never really thought of it that way. That must suck. Especially with a near-photographic memory."
Cas chuckled, "Nah, mine's perfect photographic."
"Eesh…" He winced, "So...you remember everything?"
"Every itty bitty detail. And yeah. It sucks." Cas tapped his head, "I have well over 500 years of people's pasts stuck up in here, and I haven't even experienced 25 of my own. Takes a while to sift through it all, I'll tell you that." He sighed, "Which is why I'm not offering this lightly."
Reaching for his right glove, he tugged it of in one fluid movement and extended his hand.
Sanji gaped at the bare hand before him, "You...want to read my past?"
"Only if you want to." Cas' gaze didn't waver, "It's an immense leap of trust for someone you barely know, I get it. It's just that...after seeing the pasts of so many people...I know a thing or two about how painful it can be to deal. I've felt what they felt. Seen what they've s-"
Scraping his chair back, Sanji got to his feet, "Sorry, but no. I may not have said this to (y/n)-chan, but it doesn't matter which family I was born into. Old man Zeff, the Baratie, and the crew are my family now. Nothing changes that. I've moved on already."
Cas bit his lip, hand still outstretched, "Don't try and kid yourself. I've seen enough people who have that look in your eyes to know that's not true. If you really were okay with it, you would have gone out and told the rest of them like (y/n) did when she first joined the crew."
"It well...It's...Uh…" He swung his arms in the air in dismay, "It just doesn't matter, alright? Don't try and stick your nose into business that isn't yours."
The hand remained steady, "I won't tell a soul, upon my honour as Parelthon's bearer and a Whitebeard pirate. Not even Ace or (y/n). I won't even do anything about it if you don't want me to. Up to you."
The cook's shoulders slumped.
"It's okay to let someone in, Sanji."
He gulped. Slowly, ever so slowly, a trembling hand reached out to take the one before him.
There was nothing. No major flash of light. No dizziness. No sign of a headache or blood.
Just a single, solitary tear trickling down Cas' cheek.
"I'm...so glad." He smiled, wiping his damp eyes with the back of his palm, "That you finally found what you wanted."
Sanji softened, "Yeah. Me too."
And there we have it? Was it okay? What you wanted/expected? I hope so. But now, deep and heartfelt stuff. Feel free to skip if you want. This is just something I want to get off my chest.
A year ago I wasn't in a great place. I was stressed out of my mind, and having a mental illness didn't help matters either. It sucked, to put it mildly. One of the only things that really helped me through all that, was One Piece. I...can't really explain why to be honest. it just managed to keep me happier when other things fell short.
I honestly don't know why I started to write Missy. I can't really remember. But focusing so much on something I loved, really helped me keep going through the dark times. So thank you. Thank you all so, so much for reading. This is a part of me, and it makes me so happy to share it and for you all to like it so much. It boosted my confidence big time, and I really recommend it if you're thinking about starting. It doesn't matter if your first chapter sucks (I've edited mine since then. It made me scream when I first looked back), but it's awesome to do.
If I'm honest, I'm still not in a good place and I dunno if it's better than last year. But once again, and I can't stress this enough, Missy and all the fans it received have really improved me as a person, and has encouraged me to try and make myself well again. This will always be in my heart, and the fans will be too.
If you ever have experienced anything like what I had yourself, it doesn't matter if it's from yourself or just from someone you know, just let me say well done for making it this far. It can be so easy to give up halfway through, so even though it might not be over you've done so well to keep on surviving. It hurts, I know, but I'm sure it's worth it on the other side.
You guys are awesome, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I can't thank you enough.