Chapter Text
Was there a handbook available that was called “What To Do When You Admit You Like Your Friend Who Is Also A Superheo And Is Wearing A Stupid Mask So You Can’t See His Reaction And You’re Currently Freaking The Fuck Out Also Tony Stark Is An Asshole And Is Laughing At You”?
No seriously. Harley wanted to know. He wanted to know, like, yesterday . Before he was a dumbass and opened his big mouth in front of Peter. More than anything he wanted to know what Peter was going to say after that little declaration. But of-fucking-course it would be just Harley’s luck that before he could break the eternity of stunned silence that had stretched between them, the goddamn Avengers showed up. Peter, the little shit that he was, took Harley’s moment of distraction to scram. Avengers filtered into the warehouse one after another. Each crashing and bumbling their way in, except Natasha of course, because she seemed to be the only one who understood what stealth was.
And Tony Stark, to absolutely nobody at all’s surprise, was not helpful. Harley had spun on his heel the moment the Avengers entered the warehouse, eyes scanning the darkness in case he could pick out Spide- no, Peter but he was already gone. Immediately the Avengers had fanned out, examining the slumped over forms of thugs that Peter-Man had knocked out and they assessed the rest of the warehouse for threats. Harley promptly ignored them.
“Tony?” It didn’t matter that he was wearing a suit made out of literally bulletproof material that had saved him from more blunt force trauma than any human being had any right to experience - Harley’s grip on Tony’s arm was iron clad as he made the man look him in the eye. “Tony? I just have one real quick question: where the fuck did he go?”
Tony smiled at Harley before prying his hand off of the armour, “Sorry kid, knowing him he’s probably just run off to go have a bit of a crisis.” At Harley’s affronted expression Tony was quick to reassure him that Harley would be sure to see Peter back at school the next day. “Honestly, not even having his identity revealed would stop that boy from being a nerd.” Tony’s smile stretched into a knowing grin that Harley decided he hated on principle because there is no way Tony didn’t know exactly what he was implying with those raised eyebrows. He knew that Harley wanted to see Peter for more reasons than to just confront him about lying. He knew that Harley was just about ready to internally combust on the spot because holy fucking shit Peter is Spider-Man and Spider-Man is Peter and Harley is kind of in love with both of them but they’re the same person so is that like double the love? Who knows? Not him.
“Harley!” A booming voice interrupted his racing thoughts.
Harley robotically turned on the spot, working more off of instinct than actual thought as he faced Captain America. The man rested a hand upon Harley’s shoulder, worry in his eyes. “Harley are you alright? We came as soon as we heard.”
He nodded in response, already pushing his way out of the man’s grip because if Tony was going to just keep standing there smirking like an idiot, it seemed Harley would just have to get himself home and plan out his next twenty five step plan of Making Peter Talk To Me Without Running Away. It was busy work that lay ahead of him but by god he was going to do it.
Cap however didn’t seem quite as willing to let the teen wander off into the city after having recently been, y’know, kidnapped and held for ransom. “Harley? Son, I don’t think you should be going out there alone just yet.” His eyes perused the scene, a dozen beat up thugs already lying together in a heap where Hawkeye and Falcon had piled them up for convenient capture. Also, Harley was pretty sure he saw Clint taking trick shots at Sam’s neck with stray pebbles when he wasn’t looking. He grinned at the sight before turning back to face Steve.
“Don’t worry ‘bout me Cap. I took out all the guys here pretty easily, I’m sure I can handle whatever else wants to come at me.” And with that Harley turned on his heel and sauntered out of the warehouse, sharing only a glance with Tony to make sure the man had actually thought ahead and had prepared a car for Harley to get home in. After all, it’s not like he wanted to make a cool exit line and then have to come back in to ask for a ride. What a way to kill the drama.
Behind him he heard a confused hum from Cap, then the not so subtle sound of him asking Tony if Harley had really been the one to take all the men out on his own. Quickly, Harley cast a glance back at Tony, practically begging him to keep up the lie because even in this, the most teen-drama-angsty-love-confession fueled moment of his existence; Harley knew there was nothing on this earth he enjoyed more than messing with a national icon. And Tony Stark was a smart enough man to know the only way Harley wouldn’t end up blackmailing him for the next decade with claims of having being forgotten and abandoned, was if he did exactly what Harley needed him to.
Tony sighed, rather melodramatically if you asked Harley, and dutifully repeated the line Harley had fed him earlier. “Of course Harley saved himself. He’s so strong and talented. And look at all this webbing. Obviously the way he got himself out is because he’s… Spider-Man. Uhuh. That’s him alright.”
-
If his life was a movie, right now Peter would think he’s in a spy thriller. At least, that’s how it felt as he slunk through the halls of his own school. Never in his entire life had he felt so on edge and alert as he did now. His heart pounding a thundering beat inside his chest as he edged closer and closer to the corner. He inched forward. A scuff of his shoes on the cold linoleum might be the very thing to give him away. To compromise everything. To ruin everything he had worked for and-
“Uh, Peter?”
Peter screamed.
Okay, well, he screeched. In surprise. More of a squeal. Or maybe a manly shout of mild shock?
“Hey Peter?” Ned probed again, poking at his friend in confusion, “Is there a particular reason you look like you’re a thief in a 90’s cartoon? All you’re missing right now is the black and white striped shirt and a bag with a dollar sign on it.”
Peter huffed indignantly, his eyes constantly shifting across the halls, cataloguing every face to come into his periphery just in case. “I am not walking like a cartoon villain.”
“Then why were you dancing around like that?”
“I wasn’t dancing around I was sneaking Ned, there’s a difference.”
Ned scoffed. “Uhuh. Sure thing man.” He tried to follow Peter’s gaze for a second before realising that was pretty much a hopeless task and he would be better off doing… pretty much anything else. Apparently this included interrogating Peter who was trying very hard not to get noticed right now thank you Ned.
“So, am I going to get an explanation or…?”
“Shhh!” Peter hissed. He grabbed Ned by the arm and, with one final cursive scan of the environment, pulled him further into the crowd. Peter ducked his head low into his chest, practically buried under the loose fitting hoodie he’d scrounged up that morning. Not to say he didn’t look good in it. In fact, if one were to ask Aunt May they might even find out Peter had spent the better part of an hour that morning trying to find the perfect balance between ‘totally incognito’ and ‘hot enough that if Harley was mad at him, he might forget why’. It was a delicate situation but he was pretty sure he’d nailed it.
Other students swirled around them like fish in a river, swimming up and down the halls without a single thought spared to the two boys who were both looking around like their lives depended on it. At this point, Ned had become caught up in Peter’s natural dramatics, and so he too was also on the lookout. Though what he was looking out for was still a mystery.
“Okay, here’s the deal,” Peter said under his breath, his lips barely moving. Ned would just have to figure it out what was happening the same way he normally managed to decode Peter’s mad ramblings; with a whole bunch of questions and trying to think the way a lunatic best friend who dressed up like a spider to fight crime would. “So yesterday Harley got kidnapped-”
“He what?! ”
“Shh! Shut up! Someone is gonna hear us. Discretion is key here dude. You good? Right. So Harley got kidnapped and I saved him as youknowwho and-”
“You dressed up like Voldemort?”
“Dude.”
“Right right. Shutting up now.”
Peter sighed. “I went out as… Spider-Man and I helped Harley out but Ned I messed up so bad. And uh, he kind of knows who I am now?”
The sudden weight of Ned’s arm pulling tight against Peter’s threw him off balance. Peter turned to see Ned standing there in total shock, frozen in place as he stared back at him.
“ Dude! He knows? Is he going to say anything? Did the bad guys see you? Did you tell him you’re in love with him?”
Peter was willing to sell at least one quarter of his soul then and there as long as he could learn how to stop blushing so much in public. Unfortunately no demon from hell arrived to make his wish come true so he guessed he just had to accept that he was going to be looking like a tomato for the rest of the conversation.
“Ugh. Yes he knows. No he’s not going to say anything, I mean, he lived with Iron Man for like, months and I never even knew. No the bad guys didn’t see me. And as for me telling him I’m in love with him…” Peter trailed off, unsure how to continue that particular sentence. Not that it mattered of course because Ned was already ten steps ahead of him based on how many conclusions he’d just jumped to.
“Holy shit. You guys are like dating now aren’t you?”
“What?” Peter laughed nervously, “Noooo.”
Ned, apparently fed up with the way Peter couldn’t even hold eye contact with him for more than two seconds, pulled him into an empty classroom. Once Peter established that they were in fact alone, he could barely help the way the words spilled out from him.
“Okay so like, there I was saving the day like woosh and pew and blergh and stuff right? But I made some dumb joke and Harley then figured me out and he was all ‘wow Peter nice fursona’ which is like, so incorrect. It’s a gimmick not a fursona c’mon. Right, right, anyway. Uh, so then Mr Stark showed up and Harley was all ‘Tony you didn’t tell me they were the same person and also that I had a crush on the same guy’”
Ned’s excited gasp was cut off as Peter continued to talk, each word rushing forth faster and faster as he began to pace.
“And then what was I supposed to do? Be like ‘Hey harley I think you’re super nice and funny and smart and stupidly hot and will you date me please also I’ve been lying to you for months oops sorry’? Ugh. I can’t just do that. So I, y’know. I left.”
“You what?!”
“I panicked Ned! He got distracted so I just booked it outta there. And then he tried calling me like five times last night but I never picked up. And now it’s like, way too late to do anything about it. And I went home and I told Aunt May and then we found out that apparently when I get super stressed I start pacing? I didn’t know that. But anyway yeah we figured it out because I started pacing but I paced too much I guess and I ended up walking on the ceiling and I think I freaked Ms Cardinas’ dog out. Y’know the one who lives across the street? He saw me through the window and started barking and-”
“Hey Peter?”
Peter looked down at Ned.
“You’re on the ceiling.”
Huh. Would you look at that.
Peter landed on the ground with a thump, not even worried that the noise might disturb someone because it would be just his luck that that would happen. God, he couldn’t get Harley out of his thoughts long enough to notice he’d just been walking across the ceiling in broad daylight! At school! Ugh!
Ned very kindly pretended not to laugh at Peter’s pout. Eventually, after Peter had retreated to his natural Panic Position and was suitably curled up on the floor in defeat, Ned sat down beside his best friend and laid a comforting arm along his shoulders. “Dude, look,” Peter turned to him curiously, “Okay so this sucks, yeah, but think about it. Flash totally pushed you into your locker this morning!”
Unsurprisingly it took less than three seconds for Ned to figure out that maybe, just maybe, being reminded of Flash at a time like this wasn’t helping Peter as much as he might have thought.
Ned grinned apologetically, “What I mean is that Harley hasn’t ratted you out. He’s had all of yesterday and this morning to do it, but still no one cares about you!”
Peter’s glare deepened.
“What I mean is that he didn’t tell anyone! Your secret is safe!”
Huh. He might just have a point. If anything was a way to prove that Harley wasn’t one to get-rescued-and-tell, then the fact that Flash had sneered right at Peter before digging his elbow into his side just hard enough that Peter stumbled straight into his own locket, might just be a sign. Flash had then followed it up by reminding everyone that Peter was obviously too much of a loser to even stand up straight, unlike him, the Great Flash Thompson who was actually best friends with Spider-Man now if you hadn’t heard. They hung out together. Spidey totally thought Flash was the coolest teenager he’d ever met.
Or something like that. Seeing as it was about the hundredth or so time Peter had been forced to hear about his own encounter with Flash he’d stopped paying attention to which details were getting embellished this time around. But still, the point stands. Harley, his dear friend and ludicrously attractive crush, hadn’t revealed Peter’s identity.
He felt a whoosh of air leave his body all at once. Relief coursing through his veins at the same time that a tiny, desperate smidgen of hope began to well up in his chest. Harley hadn’t told. Which surely means he still cared about him. And, if his little revelation back at the warehouse was anything to go by, well, then Peter may still have a chance.
It was farfetched and entirely the fault of Peter’s tendency to imagine he was secretly part of an ongoing, stupidly melodramatic rom-com, but hell if it didn’t help calm his nerves. Peter slumped against the wall exhausted. He’d been running off of little more than pure stress and unstoppable anxiety since the second Harley had figured out just who was under the mask. At least, with that tiny sliver of hope Peter had managed to snag, he wasn’t running on empty. Ned, the brilliant, wonderful friend that he was, wrapped his arms around Peter’s shoulder and pulled him in close for a hug he didn’t even know he’d been craving.
“Dude, knowing you everything is going to turn out just fine.”
Peter snorted in response, still tucking his face into Ned’s shoulder. “If you think anything in my life goes right then you haven’t been paying attention.”
“Oh yeah, I mean obviously something was going to go wrong,” Ned laughed, his arms somehow managing to tighten even more across Peter’s back because Ned just so happened to be the best hug-giver of all time. “But,” he continued, “things always work out in the end. I think the universe pays attention and it just knows you deserve a happy ending one way or another.”
Peter pulled back from the embrace, searching Ned’s eyes for the reassurance he knew would be there. Ned beamed back until Peter could feel his own expression cracking into a lopsided smile. “Huh, well, I sure hope you’re right.”
Ned scoffed before tucking his arms into Peter’s grip and steering them out of the classroom, “Of course I’m always right. Isn’t that why you’re friends with me?”
“If I wanted someone who’s always right and is gonna just flaunt it in my face I’d be talking to MJ right now.”
“Yeah okay that’s fair.”
-
Dread had settled in Peter’s stomach and made it churn the way he imagined someone who had found a three week old burrito on the floor and eaten it might be feeling. Each and every step he took felt like he was wading through a physical manifestation of his own anxiety, but he still managed to keep moving. Admittedly, most of that credit should probably be given to Ned who was valiantly succeeding in dragging his reluctant friend over the threshold of the cafeteria even if it took four times as long as it should’ve.
“Man, just because you can use your crazy sticky powers to make my life difficult doesn’t mean you have to.” Ned whined, tugging Peter towards the table which currently housed nothing more than a particularly sceptical MJ. Slowly one eyebrow raised as she took in the pair. The moment the two boys reached their seats, with Ned helpfully directing Peter down, she took one long look at them before sighing.
“So what’s up with Dweeb Number Two today?” She asked.
Peter frowned at the exact same time Ned beamed.
“I’m number two?”
“I’m number one?”
MJ rolled her eyes which, if they were being honest, was pretty much exactly what they expected from her. “Yeah, yeah, congrats on your promotion Ned, but seriously. What’s up with him? Is he just now figuring out that there might just be consequences to walking on the ceiling whilst at a school full of students?”
Peter peered at her, “Wait. How do you know I did that? You didn’t see me right?”
“I know everything.” She said simply.
Peter’s exasperated groan was quickly interrupted by MJ’s thoughtful hum, her gaze focused past Peter’s shoulder toward the cafeteria’s entrance. He turned, curious at what had garnered such a reaction only to immediately experience the singular sensation of trying and failing to melt someone through the intensity of his glare alone. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Peter frowned at his target, Flash refused to stop flirting with Harley and melt already.
Peter huffed in irritation as he watched the two of them, Harley leaning casually against the door as Flash crowded up against him. It was frankly eerie just how similar this whole situation was to the first time Peter had lain eyes on Harley, all those months ago. But still, despite the strange sense of déjà vu that permeated everything as Peter felt himself pushing his seat back absently, already on the march towards the pair -- everything still managed to be entirely different. This time it wasn’t a harmless flutter of butterflies in his stomach, but a swirling storm of complicated emotions. There were the usual nerves, the ones that came every time he’d notice Harley had entered the room. The ones that told him that there, right there that was the boy Peter wanted to be talking to. The one he wanted to be with.
But there was more to it now. A sense of apprehension - fear even - that traced his every movement because what if? What if this was the moment Harley decided he didn’t care about secret identities or friendship or the maybe-a-little-bit-more-than-friendship thing they’d been heading towards? Not that the fear was the main thing Peter was focusing on as he pushed through a crowd of students, each step taking him closer and closer to the boys by the door. It was memories that engulfed his every thought. The one thing that changed the whole situation from the first time Peter had made his way over to Harley was that now there was so much more to him, to them. He wasn’t just some new kid, he was Harley. He was a genius who could make Peter laugh more than anyone else with only a handful of words. He was an idiot who got confused at why he got detention for creating a robot specifically designed to steal student’s pencils in the middle of exams. He was funny, and kind, and sensitive, and too gorgeous to even be real. And he was Peter’s friend.
“-right Keener?” Flash’s voice broke through the flurry of thoughts in Peter’s head as he finally got close to the other two boys. “It’s lucky Spider-Man was there to help you y’know. He’s actually a pretty close friend of mine, I told him to keep an eye out for you, so I guess you could say I had a bit of a hand in your rescue.” He laughed in the way people do when they’ve started talking and it’s already too late for them to back out now even though they clearly regretted every word they were saying. Peter was very, very familiar with this experience but that didn’t mean he was letting Flash off the hook for this fun new brand of lies. “I mean, it’s way more important that you’re safe than that I had anything to do with it of course!” He hurried to assure Harley, who in turn seemed happy to respond by simply raising one eyebrow, practically daring Flash to dig himself deeper into this hole.
He did.
“Actually, uh…” Flash’s eyes darted around the room, hesitation marring his every movement. It was practically a miracle that he didn’t notice Peter who was still storming his way towards them. “Speaking of Spider-Man- uh, well, more like speaking of me speaking to him about you- Well the thing is that- uh, you see I was talking to him and- uh,”
For a fraction of a second Peter’s pace slowed as he tried to figure out just what the hell Flash was trying to lead to. Until all of a sudden it hit him.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“- And when I was talking to him he kinda reminded me that I shouldn’t just sit here waiting for the guy I like to ask me out-”
Oh hell no. No. No. No. No no nononono no no no.
“-so, I’m just going to say it-”
No. No. NO. Please god no.
“ I’m gonna just… take the initiative here and tell you-”
Pretty please with like a billion cherries on top: NO
“ - that you should ask me out.”
…
What.
Peter and Flash both watched Harley with equal fervor. Each waiting with bated breath for what the hell Harley’s response would possibly be. Harley himself seemed interested to find that out because all he could seem to manage was a single, drawn out “uhhhhhh”.
He blinked slowly, a sharp contrast to the rapid fire beating of Peter’s own heart that he could feel pounding against his chest.
“What?” Harley finally said, the word more a breath than an actual question.
Flash seemed to realise his mistake in roughly half a second too late. The damage was done.
Instead of outright laughing at him, like Peter vaguely expected he would, Harley simply grinned. “Did you really just tell me to ask you out?”
Flash nodded numbly only to be shocked back into stillness when he felt Harley’s hand thump down onto his shoulder as he chuckled. “Gotta admit man, that takes some fuckin’ guts. Kudos to you.” Before the tiny glimpse of hope building behind Flash’s eyes could grow though, Harley kept talking. “But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna do it. I mean, I’m like, pretty flattered I guess. And, funny story actually - but I was just coming into the cafeteria to go ask out the guy I like right now, and I feel like it’d kinda steal my thunder if I wasted that question on you first. So uh, thanks but I’ve kinda got to go talk to the idiot standing behind the bins eavesdropping right now.”
Flash twirled on the spot, his gaze narrowing in on Peter who hadn’t quite realised he’d hidden himself behind the bins until he was suddenly being called out for it. Peter stuttered out a series of mumbles that were probably meant to be some kind of excuse except his brain had forgotten to actually come up with words to place there instead. Flash took one look at Peter’s stunned expression before rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air in defeat. He wandered off, with far more grace and dignity intact than just about anybody expected.
Harley huffed an amused laugh in Flash’s direction before turning back to Peter, arms crossed over his chest, head tilted to the side as he examined the boy before him. He wasn’t quite sure when it happened but Peter seemed to have moved forward, edging closer and closer until he was mere inches away from Harley, searching his face for answers just as he studied Peter.
“So.” He said.
“So…” Peter replied.
“Spiders huh?”
“Yup.”
“Lied to me for months huh?”
“Yup.”
“Told Tony you liked me?”
“Uh… Yup.”
Harley kept up his straight face for all of two seconds before breaking out into the biggest grin Peter had ever seen. It was the type of grin that somehow managed to both clear out every one of the last jittery nerves in Peter’s stomach, calming him down instantly, and it incited a whole new type of buzzing. One that filled his stomach, his head, his heart until he was practically overflowing with a warmth and happiness he only found himself feeling when Harley smiled at him like that.
Harley’s smile wavered for a second, an uncharacteristic display of nerves that lasted for only a moment before he steeled himself.
“So…” He said carefully.
“So?” Peter echoed, confused at just where Harley planned on taking this conversation.
“Am I going to get an answer?”
Did… did Peter miss something? Was there some part of this conversation that had actually been shared telepathically and he just hadn’t noticed? Had Harley grossly misunderstood Spider-Man’s powers?
“Answer to what?”
Harley smiled again. It was softer now, and if he didn’t know better Peter might even go so far as to say it was shy . He was so caught up in the way this new smile made him feel - like he was getting wrapped up in a blanket and hugged all at the same time - that it took Peter a few moments to notice the way Harley’s hands reached out to encircle his own. Holding him tight and tugging just enough that his feet inched forward of their own volition. Peter wasn’t complaining.
“I was wondering,” Harley said slowly, his thumb tracing absent circles across Peter’s palm, “If you were going to answer the question I told Flash I’d ask you.”
Peter wracked his brains, each thought coming to him a minute slower than usual because dear god , how did Harley expect him to remember things and to think when they were standing so close together. Soon enough, or maybe it was an extraordinarily long time later, Peter’s mind managed to scrounge up the relevant memory to know just what Harley was talking about. A teasing smile slipped onto his face.
“Well Princess ,” and wow if it didn’t send a thrill up Peter’s spine to say that without the mask. Judging by the way Harley’s pupils seemed to double in size, maybe Peter wasn’t the only one who reacted to the nickname. “I would love to give you my answer but I’m afraid you haven’t actually asked me the question yet.”
Harley’s smile widened as he laughed and Peter couldn’t help but thank the universe for letting him be the cause of that glorious sound. When he finished chuckling Harley beamed back at Peter.
“Fair enough Parker. I can do this all proper then if that’s what you really want.”
“It sure is.”
“Well, apparently at least one of us needs to learn how to communicate so I guess I’ll be the one taking those first steps.” Harley ignored Peter’s spluttered protests about how secret identities and relationship developments weren’t even close to the same thing. “So, Peter Parker, how’d you like to go out with me?”
Peter’s half hearted protests died out just long enough for him to mutter a quick “yes” and then finally - finally - he reached out and drew Harley to him, closing the last few inches of space between them until there was no air left between them.
Both boys smiled into the kiss, making it a little clunky, and a little awkward but so perfectly them that they couldn’t help but break away laughing, still holding each other as tightly as they could.
“That probably wasn’t the best first kiss we could’ve had.” Harley admitted happily.
“You wanna practice some more?”
“Sounds like a damn good plan Peter.” He said, already pulling Peter in for another kiss, this one going far more smoothly but still creating the same swirling storm of butterflies that seemed to just occupy Peter’s chest now. Not, of course, that he’d have it any other way.
“Oh, and Peter?” Harley said, breaking away for just a moment as they both caught their breath. Peter nodded dazedly. “Can you please tell Steve about how lucky you are to date Spider-Man because I’m pretty sure if he hears it from you he’ll finally gonna believe me about my secret identity and- hey! Peter! Stop laughing, this is serious! Just lie to Captain America for me please! What kinda boyfriend are you that you won’t even try and deceive a national icon for me.”
Peter laughed again, wrapping his arms around his pouting boyfriend’s neck, and smiled at just how good it felt to hear Harley call him that.
“We’ve been dating for two minutes and you’re already calling me a bad boyfriend? Guess I’ll just have to fix that.”
“And how do you propose to do th-”
Anymore words or protests that Harley might’ve had were quickly silenced as Peter drew his boyfriend in for another kiss, a practice that both of them couldn’t wait to do again and again and again.
-
“Okay but seriously, you are gonna tell him I’m Spider-Man right?”