Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Rhooooodey” Tony whined. “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about this. I mean, honestly, you get kidnapped for three months in the middle of a desert in Afghanistan and suddenly everyone thinks you’re a fragile flower.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes, decidedly not impressed with Tony’s antics. “You know good and well why you’re taking this class. You got lucky in Afghanistan, Tones. The average man--”

“Well then it’s a good thing I’ve never been average at anything then, Platypus” Tony cut in.

“Tony I’m serious.  JARVIS calculated the odds of your safe return and by all accounts, you wouldn’t have made it out alive.  Whoever organized the hit on you in Afghanistan clearly wasn’t an amateur and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”  The honest and earnest look in Rhodey’s eyes would have made Tony uncomfortable coming from anyone else, but Rhodey had always been the one to put Tony back together again.  Rhodey had been there for him when he was an awkward 14-year-old genius at MIT, desperate to prove himself, had been there when his parents had died and the three-day alcohol-induced stupor that Tony still had little memory of, and had searched for him in an Afghan desert for months while he had been missing.  Rhodey had been the brother that Tony never had and he would be lying if he said Rhodey’s concern didn’t make him feel a little warm and gooey inside, even after all these years.

Tony sighed dramatically.  He would do it for Rhodey. “One class.  But I reserve the right to never return if it’s dumb.”

Rhodey nodded, recognizing it was probably the best he could get Tony to agree to.  “Ok. I think you’ll really like it though. Steve’s a great instructor.”

***

The next Monday, Tony found himself stewing in his penthouse, trying to think of an excuse Rhodey would believe to get out of this exercise class.  It wasn’t that Tony hated exercise, he was in pretty decent shape, leanly muscled and trim. He was just a little nervous about this particular form of exercise.  He had asked JARVIS about Krav Maga, in an attempt to gain some insight on just what Rhodey had signed them both up for and he was a little concerned about what he had found.  According to JARVIS, Krav Maga was a form of military self-defense and a fighting system that had been developed for the Israel Defense Forces and it sounded intense.  And Tony, well, Tony normally stuck to running a few miles and hefting around a couple of weights and calling it good.  The rest of his exercise regimen mostly relied on the heavy-lifting he did tinkering around in his lab and from more...provocative methods with whatever willing partner he was interested in.  Although, Tony had to admit that since his lovely stay in an Afghan cave, he’d become a bit of a recluse, choosing to lock himself in his workshop at night, instead of visiting the clubs and parties he used to frequent.  

The elevator dinged, interrupting Tony’s scheming, revealing Rhodey in an Air Force t-shirt and some matching shorts, looking every bit the Air Force Colonel Tony knew and loved.  Tony, on the other hand, had thrown on an old MIT T-shirt that he was pretty sure had been Rhodey’s at some point and some old sweats that he’s probably had since his teenage years, as well. 

“You’re a billionaire and you’re still stealing my shirts and wearing sweats that are so old that the Salvation Army would throw them in the trash.” Rhodey snarked.  “C’mon Steve’s class starts at 6 and we need to leave now if we don’t want to be late.”

“Sugarbear! I can’t make it...I’m sick.” Tony coughed and put his hand against his forehead.  He was pretty sure he’d seen Moms do that with their children on TV before.

Rhodey rolled his eyes again, looking bemused.  “Yeah, Tones? What’ve you come down with?” Rhodey asked, apparently happy to let Tony try and come up with a lie.

Tony paused, trying to come up with a plausible excuse, “It’s...Polio.” He replied, nodding seriously.  “Yeah. Polio. It’s pretty serious, better keep your distance--don’t want it spreading around, starting an outbreak, you know?  Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by, but I should really just get back--”

“Tony." Rhodey cut him off, "Polio hasn’t been a serious threat for years now.  The polio vaccine was invented in 1955 you’re really going to tell me that you, someone with three PhD’s and the CEO of one of the largest tech conglomerates in the world, is an anti-vaxxer now?” Tony sighed, shaking his head at his own pathetic excuse for a lie, and when had he gotten so terrible at lying anyways ? (Always. He’d never been able to lie convincingly to Rhodey).  

Not quite willing to give up the fight, he tried again, “Well it might not actually be Polio….it might be...you know…. Tuberculosis.” Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“Uh-huh.  And I’m Ozzy Osbourne. Come on, man we don’t have time for this. You promised you’d go with me and you know how worried I was when you were gone in Afghanistan and you barely take care of yourself now, as is.  You learning a little self-defense would really help me sleep better at night” Rhodey pleaded, widening his eyes, in his best impression of Bambi. And ok, wow, Rhodey was really laying it on thick and Tony knew he was being played for an absolute sucker but found himself nodding along, once again agreeing to the class.

They reached the studio, approximately 30 minutes later, with plenty of time to spare before the class started, thanks to Happy’s competent-borderline-overly aggressive driving.  Rhodey led the way to a storefront studio, with large glass windows, where he could see a small front desk area that led to a back room and a large space filled with matts and punching bags, with a couple of early birds clearly eager to start.  Looking at the people milling around the space, Tony’s fears were not assuaged--the people he could see were all huge. Realistically, Tony knew he wasn’t the tallest or bulkiest man, never had been and likely never would. But so far, the three people he could see were among the most impressive specimens he’d ever seen.  From the outside, he could see two blondes, and a brunette that Tony would venture were all well over six feet tall and Tony had never felt more aware of his five-foot-nine-after-some-serious-yoga stature.

Tony slowed his steps, dragging his feet, “Rhodey are you sure about this? I mean those guys all look like they’re pretty serious and I'm ...um” He paused, trying to find another way to explain that he felt like a shrimp, without, you know admitting exactly that. “Compact?” He tried, hoping his insecurities weren’t as obvious to Rhodey as they were to him.

Rhodey’s face softened.  “Tony I brought you here because Steve’s the best instructor in the entire state of New York but he’s also a total softie.  His buddy Bucky co-owns the studio and handles the finances and, They met Thor in Norway on leave during their army days. They’re good people.  But most importantly, they’re good people that can help you learn to keep yourself safe. Steve’s been teaching since getting out of the army. They won’t make fun of you or your compactness or I’ll kick their asses.”  Rhodey grinned. “Now are we going to go in now or stand outside in the middle of the street until someone tries to mug us?” Tony nodded and fought back a smile--Rhodey always knew how to set his mind straight. “Yeah, yeah c’mon let’s go get our asses kicked by a couple of giants in the name of self improvement--my favorite hobby.” He grumbled.  

The woman at the front desk was at least a normal height but something about her red hair and impressive biceps told Tony that she wouldn’t have any more trouble kicking his ass than the three giants he'd already seen.  She asked him to fill out some paperwork and sign a waiver. He debated putting down a fake name--he had a handful of aliases he used when he wanted to stay under the radar but something about the neighborhood feel of the business told him that no one here would call the paparazzi or sell him out to tabloids and he signed as Tony Stark. The woman, who’d introduced herself as Natasha, raised an eyebrow at his paperwork, but didn’t look surprised.  “First class is free. After your first class, we have different types of memberships and subscription packages we can discuss later, you know if you survive your first class.” Natasha informed him in a deadpan voice. Tony gulped, swallowing hard. Natasha didn’t seem like she was joking. What the hell kind of class was this anyway?

“Nat. Baby. I love you, doll, honestly, but you’ve gotta stop scaring our customers.”  The brunette that Tony had seen from outside strolled behind the desk, wrapping a massive arm around Natasha and placing a kiss at the temple of her head, “We ain’t gonna have any money to run the studio without any customers and I, for one, can’t handle Stevie moping about so unless you want to deal with his Look of Devastation, quit scaring them before they’ve taken the class.” The brunette turned back to Tony. “Bucky Barnes, at your service.  Don’t worry about the class. It’s tough, but manageable. Stevie, c’mere we’ve got a newbie.” Bucky waved over one of the blondes.

Tony turned to see the man Bucky had waved over and just about choked.  The man was gorgeous   with blonde hair, long legs that Tony kind of wanted to climb, and a shoulder to waist ratio Tony hadn’t thought possible without photoshop.  The icing on the cake, though was his face--bright blue eyes that looked kind but held a seriousness that Tony chalked up to his military experience. The man smiled, seeing Tony and wow Tony would do just about anything to see Steve smile like that at him again.  Steve bounded over to him and Tony could see that those shoulders were even more prominent up close and Tony had to fight to keep his arms by his sides instead of reaching out to touch, to trace his hands all over those muscles, over his chest, down to the visible abs through his shirt that was approximately three sizes too small until he reached...and that was enough of that thought.  Tony mentally shook himself. He wasn’t a teenager anymore. “Steve Rogers. Rhodes told me he was bringing a friend to the next class.” He introduced himself with an easy smile.

Tony could only nod, still a little dazed, not yet taking his outstretched hand.  Steve’s smile slipped a little when Tony didn’t immediately introduce himself. Tony finally unfroze, reaching for Steve’s hand. “Tony.  Tony Stark. God you’re massive. Is everyone here just gigantic? Did your mother feed you only broccoli growing up? Would that much broccoli even give you these kinds of muscles? No you’d need some other form of protein, probably chicken or salmon.” Tony internally cringed.  Could he be any more awkward? But once his rambling started, he couldn’t seem to turn it off.

“Although,” He continued, “You know there are plenty of alternative sources of protein from plants, in case you’re vegan.  Are you vegan? Because if you are, some nutritionists are saying that a vegan diet is actually healthier for your heart and is still effective for building muscle--some of the biggest bodybuilders in the world are vegan, actually. Did you know that? So if you are vegan, that’s good, fine, great even. I mean, I’m not. I could probably give up meat easily but grilled cheeses are one of the only things I can cook correctly, and even those I burn sometimes if I get distracted so that might be problematic.  I-- ” Rhodey nudged him and Tony snapped his jaw shut, flushing in embarrassment and dropping his hand awkwardly, realizing that he was still shaking Steve’s hand. God what was wrong with him.  He was normally good at flirting and being suave.  His ability to keep his composure was one of the few things he actually admired about himself and now, apparently, he’d reverted back to his awkward teenage self who had just discovered Freddie Mercury and realized he might not actually be straight.  

Tony glanced up at Steve, who looked a little overwhelmed, but somehow not completely horrified by Tony’s word vomit.  “Not vegan. Buck and Nat, though, are vegetarians so I end up eating a lot of vegetarian food and I’m not much of a cook either.  Went into the army at 18 and didn’t really ever learn to cook properly. I can get by but you won’t catch me preparing anything gourmet...although I am a fairly decent baker.” Steve finished with a grin before ducking his head shyly.  “I’ve gotta finish prepping for the class but I’ll see you inside, yeah?” Tony nodded, staring after Steve as he headed back to the teaching area.

“Rhodey!” Tony hissed, smacking Rhodes on the shoulder, “You failed to mention that the instructor was hot .” Rhodey should know him better than that by now.  Honestly. How was he supposed to pay attention to some jab-cross-whatever combinations when Mr. Tall, Blonde, and Handsome had legs that damn near came up to Tony’s chest and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of?

Rhodey sighed, “Keep it in your pants, Romeo. Let’s get your hands taped.”

By the time Rhodey had finished taping Tony’s hands and his own, more people had trickled in until the classroom was full.  Apparently Steve’s class was pretty popular and they all seemed to know each other. Natasha and Bucky had ventured over to the classroom and were talking to a man, who, once he’d figured out Tony knew ASL, enthusiastically introduced himself as Clint and introduced his boyfriend, Sam.  Rhodey also waved over a woman named Carol who Rhodey knew from the Airforce and her girlfriend who she introduced as Val. Tony was fairly certain that he’d met Carol before at some point but had probably been when he was still partying hard and had been too drunk to remember. Carol didn’t say anything though and instead gave him a smile, “So you’re the Tony that Rhodes complains about all the time.”

Tony turned to Rhodey, betrayed but before he could get anything out, Carol spoke again, “Oh relax! I’m kidding--dude doesn’t shut up about you.  It’s Tony this and Tony just revolutionized that, isn’t that amazing? Dude’s your biggest cheerleader. Would be kind of obnoxious if it wasn’t so sweet.” She smiled and Tony found himself shyly smiling back and begrudgingly decided to give the class a solid effort, for Rhodey--model instructor or not.  Besides, Steve probably didn’t even swing that way.

Steve started out slow, with a warm-up that consisted mostly of calisthenics and some moves that Tony thought were fairly similar to the Pilates class that Pepper used to drag him to before Sunday brunch.  That had been pre-Afghanistan, and although Tony was a little rusty, he kept up pretty well, only getting a little out of breath. Steve finished the warm-up and then moved into some fairly easy combinations, that Tony thought were pretty easy until Steve came by to correct his form.  “We’re actually starting with right guard” Steve informed him.

Tony stared at him blankly.  Was he supposed to understand what that meant? “It means a staggered stance, with the right foot forward,” Steve explained patiently.  Tony nodded, looking at Rhodey and trying to mimic his stance. “Like this?” He questioned.

Steve nodded “Good.  That’s perfect, Tony.” And Tony ducked his head, hiding the blush that was surely creeping down his neck.  “Now when you throw your cross punch, you’re driving the punch from the left side of your body. Turn your left foot in when you cross and you’ll generate more power.” Tony nodded and followed Steve’s orders and sure enough, he could feel how much more power he got behind his punch.  He wasn’t doing nearly as much damage as Rhodey, and definitely not as much as Thor or Bucky who seemed like they were constantly just shy of breaking the bag, but he’d actually made his bag move a little bit. Tony turned to thank Steve but Steve was already beaming at him “Perfect. Much better, Tony.” Tony continued to beat at the bag, trying to earn more of Steve’s praise. “That’s it.  Just like that, Tony.” Tony tried to ignore the little flip of pleasure in his stomach at Steve’s words. Tony knew he had a bit of a praise kink, probably something to do with his long list of unresolved daddy issues, but something about Steve telling him that he was good and perfect in that calm, Brooklyn, voice made Tony think he would agree to just about anything Steve wanted so long as he continued to talk like that.  He continued to hit the bag, barely noticing the burn in his arms as images of Steve and him falling into bed flashed through his head and Christ but Tony needed to calm down.  The chances of Steve being into men was pretty slim already and on the off chance that he was, the likelihood that he would be interested in Tony was practically nonexistent.  Tony had a laundry list of character flaws and Steve was a veteran who somehow managed to strike the perfect balance between ‘golden retriever puppy’ and ‘sexy Greek god.’   With a final encouragement towards Tony, Steve turned his attention towards Carol and held up two pads and nodded at Carol. Apparently, familiar with the prompt, Tony watched in horror as Carol started punching at Steve .  

Steve praised Carol but was drowned out pretty quickly as Val took up the position of encouraging girlfriend and began to cheer loudly, boldly proclaiming, “That’s my girl, y’all. Look at her go!  She’s perfect, she’s grace, she’ll punch you in the face.” The rest of the class also cheered Carol on, albeit less intensely than Val and Tony couldn’t help but throw out a quiet ‘Go Carol’ because Carol could punch hard and she was friends with Rhodey.  Steve, apparently deciding that they’d gone for long enough finally dropped his pads, giving Carol a high five.  

The rest of the class passed in a similar fashion.  Steve would introduce the combination, performing the moves slowly for everyone the first few times and then a couple of times at full speed before moving around the room correcting people’s forms.  After a couple of minutes of hitting on the bags, he’d pull someone aside to go one on one with him with the pads. Tony noted that Steve seemed to have an innate sense of what each of his students were capable of--he never called on Rhodey for a combination that had any kicks involved.  Tony knew that Rhodey had suffered a knee injury a couple of years back but he was surprised and impressed that Steve had also noticed it. Similarly, Tony noticed that Steve only called on Bucky for combinations that were right guard, due to his weakened left side from the prosthetic. Tony took a small comfort in this observation--Steve clearly wouldn’t call on him unless he knew he was ready, which he clearly wouldn’t be for another couple of classes.  

With a glance at the clock, Tony noted that he’d apparently already decided on returning before this class was even halfway through.  The combinations were getting progressively harder and Tony’s brain scrambled to keep up with all of the jabs, crosses, blocks, and uppercuts.  Tony mentally berated himself--he’d mastered multivariable calculus before he’d hit his teens and yet he couldn’t keep Steve’s complicated combinations straight in his head. Tony’s shirt was drenched with sweat and clung to his frame.  At this rate, he wasn’t sure he would survive this class, let alone make it to the next one, but Tony was determined to finish the class and maybe even impress Steve along the way. 

Steve had spent a lot of the class helping Tony with his form, “Keep tension here. Abdomen tight.” A voice spoke from behind him and Tony jumped at the light touch to his ribs, whipping around to see Steve quickly drop his hand like it’d been burned and flushing a deep scarlet.  “S-sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you...o-or...uh..t-touch you without your permission?” Steve finished, making the apology sound more like a question.

Tony wanted to groan.  God damn his PTSD to hell and back.  He immediately wanted Steve’s hands back on his body, just with maybe a little forewarning beforehand so his brain didn’t automatically assume someone wanted to kill him.  “No. No. It’s..uh...fine. Yeah. Totally fine. Grope away. Or not grope because, you know, bad connotations with that word.” And oh God Steve was looking more horrified and Tony tried to salvage the situation, “Not that you groped me. Totally not what happened. Just, you know, correcting my form?” Tony finally finished and dear Lord someone just put him out of his misery--he swore he used to be good at talking to people he was attracted to. Steve slowly nodded again before moving on to Bucky who he shoved good-naturedly on his good shoulder in response to something that Bucky must have said.

The rest of the class moved fairly quickly after that point until there were only about five minutes left in the class, Tony noted with relief.  As much as he was enjoying the class, his arms also felt like they were about to fall off. Steve had apparently decided to end on an easier note because the final combination was a far cry from the last couple of combinations Steve had thrown at them.  Tony had only needed to watch Steve once before he was able to try out the jab-cross-uppercut combination himself. Considering the last few combinations had required Rhodey running through the moves with him in slow-motion up until about 30 seconds before Steve declared it time to move on, Tony felt cautiously optimistic that he could do this combination after only two tries.  

Tony began a steady rhythm, muttering to himself jab-cross-uppercut, jab-cross-uppercut, jab-cross-uppercut , until Steve stood next to his bag, holding up his pads.  “Are you serious?” Tony questioned, not bothering to hide the disdain in his voice.  He was not ready to do any padwork with Steve.  He hadn’t been able to get the last four combinations down successively more than twice in a row and now Steve was asking him to go one on one with him when he was decidedly not remotely prepared to do so.

“Yep. Come on. You’ve got this combination down.  Jab-cross-uppercut, right? We’ll start slow but I’ve been watching you and you’re ready. So come on, arms up.”  Tony searched Steve’s face, looking for any hint that he might be lying or hiding any malicious plans. Finding only earnest honesty, Tony nodded hesitantly. “Ok. But we start slow.”

Steve nodded, raising his hands again, “Arms up, right guard, jab-cross-uppercut.  Remember to pivot on the cross, like we practiced.” Tony nodded again and hesitantly started the combination.  True to his word, Steve let Tony start slow, letting Tony set the pace. Tony let himself repeat the combination five times slowly before, speeding up.  

Rhodey, ever the supportive best friend, immediately started to cheer Tony on, “There you go, Tones. Knew you had it in ya.” Tony couldn’t keep the smile off his face.  That was his Rhodey-bear. Tony was a little surprised when Carol jumped in after Rhodey shouting, “Let’s go, Tony!” Soon enough, Tony could hear the whole class cheering him on, just like they’d done with their own friends, despite Tony being the newcomer.  It warmed Tony’s insides in a way that normally only Rhodey or Pepper could. Tony had never had a lot of friends but he was mostly ok with that because he had good friends and it had never crossed Tony’s mind to search for more.  He had two friends now plus his bots which were decidedly enough for him. So he was a little taken aback by the instant comradery he found in Steve’s class.  He let their cheers urge him on, fighting against the brutal burn in his arms.

He was doing pretty well, repeating his mantra of ‘jab, cross, uppercut’ to himself until Steve spoke, “Perfect, Tony. I’m really proud of how well you’re doing.” And, well, Tony’s brain short-circuited and he went for the uppercut instead of the cross, incidentally nailing Steve in the jaw.  Tony immediately dropped his hands, frozen in horror. God he had just assaulted Steve and jeez Pepper was going to kill him if this got out to the press and he couldn’t even find his voice to apologize.  The rest of the class had momentarily frozen before finally, Bucky was the first to burst out laughing, which made Tony want to cry, although he stopped laughing after Natasha jabbed an elbow into his ribs.  

Tony finally unfroze, “Oh my God.  I am so sorry.  Is your jaw ok? What am I talking about? Of course it’s not, I just socked you in the face. Jesus Christ. Wow. I just punched a veteran in the face. I am so going to hell. I mean not that I wasn’t before--probably earned my one-way ticket to hell somewhere in my twenties.” Tony was rambling again, his mortification only increasing, “Do you have peas or something, for your face? Are frozen peas something people actually buy? I mean you always see people use frozen peas in the movies after they get punched but I don’t think I’ve ever even had frozen peas let alone bought them. Are you ok, though? Are you gonna sue me? Because you could. You totally could. Don’t tell Pepper I said that though, she’ll kill me. Oh my God, I can’t believe I punched you. I’m so s--” Steve mercifully cut his rambling off, by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Tony. Relax.  Doesn’t even hurt. You’re wearing gloves.  It probably won’t even bruise. I’m not going to sue.  Like I mentioned before, I’m not a huge cook but I probably have a pack of some sort of frozen vegetables from 2005 or something but I do definitely have icepacks.” He grinned. “As for you going to hell, I have a hard time imagining a guy like you in hell.” Steve finished with a grin. “Besides Buck and I got into plenty of fights growin’ up, roughhousing in the streets.”

Bucky sauntered over “Yeah, doll. Don’t worry about Stevie over here.” He slung an arm over Steve’s shoulders.  “Man’s tough. He got through two tours and made it out alive. Doubt a sweet thing like you is gonna be the thing that kills him. Although…” Bucky glanced at Tony with a lascivious grin, “Stevie’s always been a sucker for a pretty brunette and Bambi eyes.”

“Bucky!” Steve growled out and Tony felt himself flush again. Steve turned towards Tony, “Ignore him.  If I didn’t know and love his mother, I’d say he was raised in a barn but unfortunately, that’s just Bucky’s glowing personality.” He shook his head in exasperation. “Really, though.  You’re fine. You did really well. I can already tell you’re a natural. You’ve got heart and you’re a fighter from what Rhodes tells me. I’d love to see what you can do in a couple of classes.”

Tony felt his jaw drop, “You still want me in your class? After I attacked you?”

“I think attacked is putting it a little strongly.  More like a...misstep.” Steve finished.

“Well call it a misstep all you like but I’m honestly mortified. God, Steve I can’t tell you how sorry I am.  If there’s anything I can do to make it up--”

“Coffee,” Steve blurted, and then immediately covered his mouth, like he was trying to keep the words in.

Tony paused, “You want...coffee? Because I punched you in the face?  Like a coffee franchise? Because I could buy you Starbucks if you really wanted, their CEO’s a bit of a dick anyways though their coffee’s shit--”

“No. Like with me.  A cup of coffee. With me.  Like...like a date.” Steve finished, his face an impressive shade of red.

Tony froze.  Steve couldn’t be serious.  Tony had just hit the guy, there’s no way he was now asking him on a date.  Tony realized he’d been quiet for too long because Steve started to backtrack, “I mean. Only if you wanted to.  Uh, no pressure, or anything. Don’t worry about it. I mean definitely don’t buy out Starbucks, either but---”

“Yes!” Tony blurted. “I mean, I’d like to go out with you.  If you’re interested. On a date. With me. Yeah” Tony finished.

Steve smiled a wide, blinding smile. “Perfect.  How’s tomorrow night? Are you available at 7 PM? I can pick you up?” Steve questioned. Tony could only nod and hastily exchanged numbers with Steve, hardly believing this was happening.  Steve smiled widely again, "Great. I hope you enjoyed the class. I can't wait for our date.  Make sure you take some Advil and a hot shower when you get home.  It'll help with the soreness and I don't want you too sore for our date tomorrow." Steve winked and pulled Tony in for a quick hug and God but Steve was massive, perfectly enveloping Tony before releasing him much too quickly for Tony's likes. 

Having set up their date, Tony finally got into the backseat of the car with Rhodey, thanking Happy for waiting for them.  Rhodey opened his mouth to say something but Tony cut him off, “Not a word, Rhodey.” Tony glared at his best friend but couldn’t hold it for more than a couple of seconds before breaking into a wide grin, “Thanks for forcing me to take the class, Platypus.” Rhodey just grinned back.