Archive of Our Own ^beta

i. champagne

"Students aren't allowed to drink," Byleth chastised with a pointed look at the flute full of liquid in Dimitri's hand. It was easier and actually eye level, but she was sure the disappointment in her tone would work better than her expression, anyways. Twisting her face to make specific expressions was still something that was lost on her.

"Come now Professor, the drinking age in the Holy Kingdom is 16," he said, taking a small sip, almost as if to tease her. She was sure that it was, but she was supposed to be a teacher here. "Have you danced yet?"

Besides her one dance with Claude that she was roped into, the idea hadn't so much as crossed her mind. She'd never been to a party like this, before - not even really on missions. People seemed to be content to just talk and mingle about, but that was a bit lost on her. So much of her life had been spent isolated and with only her father for company, after all.

Instead of answering, she just gave him a light shrug, unsure of what really to say. She didn't want to ruin his night by making him fret over her - which Dimitri certainly had taken a habit to as of late.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Byleth waved him off before he could start. "Go, go," she said, making shooing motions with her hands. "Go have fun. Mingle, or whatever you students should be doing."

Pausing, he seemed to be considering his options. He took another sip of his champagne before handing it off to her, much to her surprise. "I suppose I should get some more dancing in," Dimitri agreed after a moment, nodding. "Please, go enjoy yourself as well, Professor. It is a celebration, after all."

Something in his eyes, or maybe it was the tone of voice, made Byleth's head feel a bit fuzzy for a moment, but as soon as he turned around to leave, it was gone. It had been happening more and more often lately to her; Dimitri would say something, or smile at her in a certain way, and suddenly it was like her mouth had been filled with cotton. It was the strangest sensation, and she still hadn't put her finger on why it had been happening.

Swirling the champagne around a bit in the flute, she shrugged again, trying to put it out of her mind. There was not use dwelling on it at the moment, she supposed.

You're worse than I thought, Sothis teased, though not unkindly. I'd help you, but I think this is one you should figure out for yourself.

"Whatever that means," Byleth whispered, taking a sip of the newly acquired drink.

ii. strawberries

The dining hall was unusually packed that day, Byleth noticed as she walked through, trying to make her way to the front. Most days students and teachers alike filtered in and out of the place, never congregating too much at the same time. Since there was no set lunch or dinner break, with so many people living at Garreg Mach Monastery, it was incredibly rare to see what looked like the majority of enrolled students heading in, or already settling down to eat something.

"Oh, Professor," Dimitri greeted her with a smile, "could you not resist the idea of strawberry shortcake as well?"

Well. At least that was one mystery of her life solved, Byleth thought. No wonder the dining hall was filled to the brim. Sweet weeks were seemingly always liked this. She should've guessed. They weren't supposed to have a mission today, despite it nearing the end of the month, so she figured indulging a little wasn't the worst thought in the world.

"I suppose," she said with a shrug. "I'm already here, anyways."

His smiled brightened, and something funny happened to her chest. She nearly brought her hand up to feel her heartbeat, but something inside her told her that would make the situation even more complicated. That something possibly had Sothis' voice. "Would you like to join me, then? A small treat after a long day of hard work is never a bad idea."

Lately, it had seemed that Dimitri was taking any possible excuse to spend time with her, and though it wasn't exactly like she minded, it was still all very… odd. She'd first noticed it throughout the week, but yesterday at the ball she had really noticed; after they'd talked at the Goddess Tower. A few thing he'd said had, for whatever reason, made her heart pound in her chest, and today it was happening just from… this.

"I'll join you," Byleth said after a moment, looking away when Dimitri beamed at her. It wasn't like she didn't want to see his face, it was just that…

She wasn't sure. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she most definitely could hear Sothis laughing at her.

iii. chocolate

It had been two weeks, now, since everything happened.

Sothis, the voice Byleth had grown so used to hearing; the comforting presence of another person who just… knew her, inside and out, was gone. Her father, the one person she could've claimed to love in her entire life… the person who raised her, who took care of her despite being unsure. Despite knowing something was wrong with her, was gone. Forever. There was no getting him back.

That day was the first time she'd ever cried, she realized.

She'd been a zombie for the last week, more or less. Teaching had been a struggle, when she could even show up to class. No one faulted her for it - on the contrary, everyone seemed to understand too much. They had all given her so much slack, that she hadn't known what to do.

Now, though, Byleth was finally ready to traverse the grounds of the Monastery once more. She didn't think it would help her, not really, but she'd been sitting around long enough at that point. She didn't want to worry her students too much, anyways.

When she opened the door to the outside world, a startled Dimitri greeted her with an uncharacteristic yelp.

"Professor! I didn't think - I wasn't sure-"

"Dimitri," she told him, "breathe." It wasn't like him to stumble over himself that way, but she found despite how awful she was still feeling, she didn't particularly mind seeing him like that. She wondered what Sothis would say, should she be there.

Byleth frowned at the thought, and Dimitri sobered almost instantly at her expression.

"I wasn't expecting to see you out of your room quite yet," he confessed, looking at his shoes, "but I wanted to bring you something."

She hadn't noticed that he'd been carrying anything, further proving how exhausted she was to herself, but took the package he handed her with care. Looking up at him curiously, he smiled a bit. It wasn't the normal, bright smile from just the other week; but rather a sad, tired one.

"It's just some chocolates," he said, gesturing to the box in her hands. "Sylvain told me they were good for when one isn't feeling well, so I thought…" Dimitri trailed off, clearly unsure of what to say, even to Byleth.

Not knowing what to say either, she opened the box, eyes moving over the assortment of truffles. They were all the classic, rumpled shape, though there was a variety of colors and toppings. Not wanting to be rude, she plucked out a dark brown one with some sort of gold dust on top, popping it into her mouth hesitantly. It wasn't that she wasn't a fan of sweets - she had no problem with them, really. She just hadn't eaten much over the last week, some days not eating at all. Today was one of those days where the thought of eating was almost repulsive, but…

The flavor was strong, she noticed as she chewed, but not at all unpleasant. In fact, she was almost certain that it was one of the best pieces of chocolate she'd ever had. She swallowed, going for a second one soon after.

"Is it good?" Dimitri asked after a moment, shifting on his feet. "I wasn't really sure which to buy, so I had Annette help."

Nodding, Byleth tried for a smile - her first since that day. "Thank you, Dimitri." Her voice was a little rough from having not used it much, but at least the words were understandable.

At them, though, Dimitri's cheeks turned a bright red, and his eyes widened. "You're welcome," he mumbled out, before swiftly turning around and heading back towards the Officer's Academy.

She stood there for a moment, a little unsure of what had just happened, before shaking her head and heading back inside her room. At least now she could go back to her room without feeling like she'd worry her students - she was sure Dimitri would tell the rest of her class that she was beginning to heal.

iv. bananas

The Imperial Army was set to attack in just a week's time, and the entire Monastery was in shambles. People had been evacuated, those who had chosen to stay and help in some manner were frightened and near panicked, in the worst cases, and the peers Edelgard had left behind…

Nobody really knew what to make of this development. Edelgard being the Flame Emperor was something nobody had been expecting, and after being there to watch helplessly as Dimitri broke down, Byleth had felt that she had lost part of herself, too. He had completely lost himself to his grief and trauma, and while she couldn't blame him, it was so hard seeing him like that. Watching him talk about nothing other than bringing down Enbarr in flames was more difficult then she could've ever imagined.

Continuing her walk around the Monastery, Byleth perked up when she caught wind of two familiar voices. Silently, she began wandering to that area, without even really thinking about it.

"Your Highness, I beg you," Dedue, Byleth was sure, said. "Just eat something. Anything. I brought you some fruit, if you think you could stomach it."

This was a conversation she doubted she should be overhearing, but something in her pulled her closer, anyways. She at least had the decency to stay out of sight, but if even Dedue wasn't faring well with dealing with Dimitri, then she didn't know what would snap him out of this funk.

If one could even call it that, she quipped to herself, wishing Sothis was still there to speak with her.

"I don't need it," Dimitri told him, clearly aggravated. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you this."

"You need to eat, Your Highness." Dedue was practically begging at this point, and Byleth winced. This hurt to hear, but she couldn't force herself to walk away. "Even if it's just something small. You don't even have to be around anyone - just take this. Please."

She wasn't sure what he was attempting to hand to him, but she certainly did hear the squish after Dimitri must've swatted it away. "Leave me be," he said, sounding almost as broken as he did in the Holy Tomb. "Please."

After she was sure they had both walked away, Byleth went to silently pick up the banana that had flattened out on the floor. Nobody else needed to be worrying about things like that, right now.

v. ice cubes

They had barely spoken, in all honesty, since everyone had agreed to help Dimitri take on Edelgard and the Imperial Army. He'd been in the chapel, staring at the rubble and refusing to speak to anyone. Even Felix, someone who Byleth had been so sure was done with the prince, had asked if she could help.

Apparently, she was the only one he thought could help him, at this point.

It was a harrowing thing to hear, but it only made her more determined.

It may have been the winter, but in the middle of Fodlan, it was much, much warmer than she had been expecting. It wasn't tropical, or anything of the sort, but most heavy blankets and coats weren't needed yet. There hadn't even been any snow. Normally, Byleth wouldn't even bother thinking of the weather for long like this - if what she was wearing was safe enough to fight in, she would deal with it, hot or cold - but as she stared at Dimitri, the thoughts just sprang to her mind like a wildfire.

She remembered, back when they had been student and Professor in this very same place, that he had confessed a few times that he didn't do well with heat. Growing up in Faerghus, way up in the north of Fodlan, had made him - and the rest of the Blue Lions - accustomed to freezing cold temperatures. According to Dimitri from way back then, even their summers felt like the winter comparatively. And because of that, most likely, was why Dimitri now donned that giant, fur cape along his back.

It was almost painful to look at, in some respects. She winced as she continued to staring, an idea popping into her mind.

It didn't take long to grab a bag of ice blocks from the dining hall and bring it back to the cathedral, but now that Byleth was standing behind him, she wondered if this was such a good idea after all. The most words they'd exchanged since the other night were simple things, and mostly angry things, coming from him. She didn't want to ruin the tentative peace they had between them, especially if that tentative peace could grow into something a little more substantial again if left alone long enough.

Still, though, Byleth took a deep breath and decided to try anyways. The worst that could happen, she figured, was that he'd get mad. That, she knew, was something she'd have to get used to anyways.

"Here," she said, shoving the bag at him unceremoniously. "Take it."

If Dimitri was surprised by her sudden arrival, or by what she was holding, he didn't show it; his one eye flickering between her face and the bag, frowning as he did so. "Why?" He asked, not saying anything else, or even making a move to take the bag from her.

She shook it a bit, pushing it closer to him. "Don't worry about why," she told him, shaking her head, "just take it."

They stood there for what felt like hours, completely at an impasse. They were both very stubborn people on the regular, Byleth knew. Just as she was about to call it quits - even her sword arm got tired, these days; that's just what being asleep under some rubble for five years did to a body - he took the bag, snatching it right out of her hand.

Neither of them said anything, but Byleth smiled, and she hoped that would be enough, for now.

vi. lemons

Rodrigue's passing may have been a tragedy, but Byleth couldn't deny that seeing Dimitri acting like himself once again made her heart feel full in a way she hadn't ever known was possible. It was nice to see him willing to talk again; to be a part of the group that still loved him despite evening.

Most selfishly, perhaps, was how happy it was to have him smile at her once more. They were still rare, still small and maybe a little rough around the edges, but got whatever reason it made her face feel warm these days.

He'd just done just that in the dining hall, but instead of continuing on with whatever he had been doing, he stopped this time.

"Professor?" Dimitri asked, peering down at her in concern. She'd told him a few times now to stop calling her that, but he couldn't shake the habit. "Are you alright? Your face looks red."

Shaking herself a little, Byleth shrugged. She wasn't sure why this kept happening, and without Sothis there to give her some hints, she wasn't really sure who she could go to to figure this out. Dimitri was the person she was most comfortable with, but obviously…

"I'm fine," she told him, eyes trying to focus on something that wasn't just his face. "Don't worry about it."

Frowning at her, he did something a month ago she wouldn't have even dreamed of: he put his hand over her forehead. Without thinking, Byleth let out a yelp, and almost instantly, Dimitri pulled himself back, as if burned.

"S-sorry!" He stumbled, his own face beginning to heat up. "Sorry, Professor, I didn't mean to startle you." Byleth shook her head again, looking away awkwardly; totally lost as to why she had done that. "Regardless," Dimitri continued after clearing his throat, "you do feel a bit warm. I hear they're serving fresh lemonade today - why don't you join me for a glass?"

Nodding her head, she didn't even have to think about it. As awkward as she'd been feeling the entire encounter, spending time with Dimitri - a newly healed Dimitri - was still something precious to her. "I'd like that," she said, giving him a smile.

Impossibly, the slight color of his cheeks seemed to darken. "You should do that more," he said, words nearly coming out as a whisper.

"Do what more?"

A small smile tugged at his lips. "You don't remember, hmm?" It had been so long since she'd heard him tease anyone; Byleth almost wanted to cry tears of joy. "You should smile more, Professor. It suits you."

vii. hot sauce

It was almost a surprise, really, how well Dimitri was doing after the talk with Edelgard. Though he had denied that part of him for so many years, it was clear as day to Byleth that he wanted things to work out between them - to go back to being the childhood friends they were; to find a middle ground where both their ideals could be realized. It was hard, watching him finally accept that is what he wanted, and watching it permanently crumble.

There would be no going back, now.

Despite that, he had come back to Garreg Mach in good spirits, helping with preparations and his smile getting more and more common with each passing day. In a way, it was just as worrying had the opposite happened, and Dimitri had went back to being closed off and angry - it seemed almost fake. Especially with his newfound habit: bringing dinner back to eat in his own room.

It wasn't terribly surprising; even with just their army at the Monastery instead of the large school it once was, the dining hall still managed to get loud and crowded. Even Byleth sometimes took her meal elsewhere, whether that was out around the grounds or in her own room. That said, as the date they had set to march grew closer, she started to worry more about him.

She sighed, mulling over her options. It wasn't like her to just barge into someone's room, especially not Dimitri's, but she wasn't really seeing any other choice. If she asked him if he were okay, he would likely wave her off and tell her not to worry.

"I think I know what's on your mind, Professor."

Trying hard to keep her cool and collected look about her, Byleth turned to see Sylvain, of all people, wiggling his eyebrows at her, hot plate of food in his hand. "And what is on my mind, then?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at her former student.

After a few heart to hearts, she and Sylvain did understand each other better - and were even what she'd consider friends, at this point - but his flirtatious ways still grated on her nerves. Sometimes, she wondered how Ingrid managed.

"I'm sure you're worried about His Highness," Sylvain continued, waving his free hand around, "and I think I know just what to do about it."

Sighing loudly, Byleth gave him a pointed gaze. "Go on." She was exasperated already, but wouldn't lie to herself and say she wasn't curious.

Almost immediately, Sylvain's eyes brightened. "The food tonight is pretty spicy," he said, nodding to his plate. "It's like they used way too much hot sauce, if you ask me. That said, His Highness isn't really one for spicy foods. You should take him some milk to help him deal with it. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

It was… a good reason to go visit him, Byleth conceded, much as she wished it wasn't. Feeding Sylvain's ego about these sorts of matters was not very high on her to-do list, but ultimately, the drive to go check on Dimitri won out.

"Is that so," she said, very nearly hanging her head in defeat. "I guess I should go help him out, then."

After parting ways with a far too excited Sylvain, Byleth quickly grabbed her own plate of food and a tall mug of milk, cursing herself as she followed the path she'd memorized to his room. She wasn't sure when, exactly, that had happened, but decided not to dwell on it too much.

When she arrived in front of the door, she wasn't surprised to find it closed. Frowning to herself, she put her own plate of food on the ground and off to the side a bit, before taking a deep breath and knocking at the door.

She hadn't thought this through very well, she realized after she knocked. "Dimitri?" She called, hesitantly. She was so sure of everything when she was on the battlefield, but still, after all these months - years, almost at this point - with people, it was still difficult for her to get a grasp sometimes.

Within twenty seconds, Byleth heard the door click, and in front of her stood Dimitri. He had taken off his coat and his eyepatch, much to her surprise. "Professor?" He questioned, looking from her face to the milk she was holding to the plate of food on the floor next to her. "What are you doing here?"

If she were to be honest with herself, she wasn't really sure how to answer that. I wanted to make sure you were okay? I wanted to bring you some milk because even Sylvain was pestering me about it? "I just wanted to see you," she shrugged, pushing the milk towards his chest. "And Sylvain told me that you don't do well with spice."

Looking him over, it was evident that his childhood friend was indeed correct - he was a bit flushed; the tips of his ears getting redder by the second. The flush on his face darkened at her words, and he shook his head.

"That's… I'm not," he sighed, before opening his door wider. "Well, since you made the trip out here, why don't you come in? I've just needed some time to sort out my thoughts lately," he confessed, moving so she could join him, "but I certainly don't mind your company, Professor."

Her nose scrunched as he called her that again, though she still wasn't quite sure why it only bothered her when he called her that. Picking up her plate of food, she rolled her shoulders, heading for one of the chairs in the room.

"Thank you," she told him with a small smile, watching as his face got redder once again. "Why don't you drink that? It looks like you need it."

viii. coffee

The normally lively halls, even in this time of war, were somber that morning. It wasn't long before they began their march, and though quiet, there was a silent buzzing through Garreg Mach as everyone prepared themselves.

Everyone wanted to believe they would make it out of this - defeat Edelgard, and put an end to this pointless war. Maybe even solve a few things while they were at it; namely, the mysterious case of Dimitri's stepmother and get back Lady Rhea, too. Everyone wanted to believe that, but they knew it was wishful thinking.

This was a life or death battle. In the midst of all the preparations, it was also a time to say goodbyes, should there be a need for it. In the last few minutes alone, Byleth had purposefully walked away from speaking with Sylvain and Ingrid, who seemed to be deep in conversation with one another, as well as - to her surprise - Felix and Flayn. It was hard to watch, if she were to be honest with herself.

Sighing, she rested her head on her hands, surveying the mostly empty dining hall. Even the merchants, the cooks, and the people who were taking refuge in the protected area had given her their well wishes, and orders to come back to them alive. She didn't even know most of their names. It was a harrowing atmosphere, and not how she wanted to be feeling before she led everyone - her former students, her friends, Dimitri - to their potential deaths.

Byleth was so lost in thought she nearly jumped when a mug of warm liquid was pushed towards her from the other side of the dining table. Looking up in confusion, she was greeted by a smiling Dimitri; though it didn't quite reach his eyes. She was sure he was feeling the same pressure she felt, that morning.

"You look like you could use some," he said, gesturing to the mug as he sat down across from her. "It'll keep you awake through the day, anyways."

"I doubt I'll need any help with that," she said, sighing again, "but thank you." Holding the warm mug in her hands, she breathed in the steam before taking a sip. Unsurprisingly, it was coffee - bitter coffee, at that. Just the way she liked it.

"Are you worried, Professor?" Her eyes narrowed at the name, but he didn't even flinch. She wasn't even sure if he noticed. "I must admit, I'm… more at ease then I thought I'd be."

Though she wasn't feeling the same, she could understand. "It's because it'll all be over soon," she reasoned. "For better or for worse."

Dimitri nodded, taking a large gulp of his own warm mug. "Once it's over," he said, meeting her eyes carefully, "there's something I'd like to talk to you about."

Earlier that morning, standing in front of her father's grave, she had been thinking the same thing. The ring that he had given her felt heavy in her pocket, as she thought of his words. Someone you love, her father's voice rang in her head. "Yeah," she agreed, feeling a little faint at the thought. "I'd like to talk to you, too."

ix. protein

The capital had been taken. All that remained was the throne room, now.

Miraculously so far, all of her former students had survived. When the first battle had finished, Byleth nearly cried with relief as she did a mental head count of who was remaining in the front lines. Hubert and the Imperial soldiers he had taken with him had proved a very formidable opponent, but though they struggled, the Kingdom had come out on top.

Before they headed into the castle, however - to where Edelgard was, to where this war would finally, finally be over - they had stopped to catch their breaths, recoup, and check their equipment. Edelgard wasn't going to chase after them out here, after all, and if they could take the time, they very well should.

"How are you holding up?" She heard a familiar voice from behind her, and she turned around to give Dimitri a small smile.

"As well as I can be," she said, stretching out her arms a bit. Her wrist was exhausted from wielding the Sublime Sword of the Creator for so long. She should probably see Mercedes before heading into the next fight.

"I understand," Dimitri agreed, nodding a little. "We don't have much, but could I interest you in some jerky?" He held out the stick towards her, looking expectant. "It'll help you regain your strength."

Byleth didn't even have to think about it. The food was in her mouth within seconds. "Thank you," she managed to get out between bites, and Dimitri chuckled at the sight. If it were any other time, she would've catalogued it to memory - it was so rare to hear him laugh these days, even though he was doing so much better now. War did that to people, she supposed.

"Do you think we can do this?" He asked after a minute, voice as weary as Byleth felt. "Not that I don't trust you and the others, but I can't help but worry."

Once she finished chewing, she moved her free hand to grab his hand, squeezing tightly before letting it fall back to her side. "We can," she promised. "We can and we will." We have to, she didn't add, but she knew he would hear it anyways.

The hand she had held rose up, as if to reach out for her again, before falling back again. "Okay," he said, breathing heavily. "Okay."

x. juice

Sunlight filtered through her tired eyelids, and in her sleepy state, Byleth attempted to swat it away. She likely would've fallen back asleep even though she hadn't succeeded if it wasn't for the laughter that filled her ears right afterwards.

Blinking to try and clear the sleep from her eyes, she forced herself to sit up in bed, pushing herself upright. "Stop laughing at me," she told her husband, turning towards him to see him smiling brightly. How he was able to wake up so early, even after staying up so late the night before, was beyond her even still.

"You're almost like a cat in the mornings," Dimitri said, setting down a tray on the bedside table. Her eyes followed the movement carefully, and his grin grew wider.

"So you've said. Is that breakfast?" Byleth asked, sitting up a little straighter and almost completely ignoring his teasing. The sheets fell off of her then, but she didn't mind - the summer air was warm in the castle anyways.

Dimitri hummed, first handing her a glass of orange juice. "Since we both finally get a day of rest, I thought to make you something special," he explained, waiting until she had a firm grasp on the glass before removing his own hand. "Though I did have the cooks help me with the recipes."

"You're still no good at seasoning," she teased, taking a large sip of the drink before setting it down next to her own table. "Thank you, Dimitri. I love you."

The look in his eyes said everything, as he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. "And I love you," he said before picking up a plate of eggs and potatoes, and bringing them closer to her. "Now let's eat."